Build Your ADHD Emotional Resilience: Help for Adults Who Feel Deeply (with Tamara Rosier, Ph.D.)

ADHD brains are routinely hijacked by big emotions - and big problems often follow. Even minor frustrations and interruptions can cause us to overreact with an outburst or meltdown, making it hard to complete tasks and maintain relationships. What happens then? How do we rebound and recover? How do we return to and finish the task we started? How do we repair the damage to our relationships?
Here, adults with ADHD can learn to calm their runaway emotions and find ways to express their feelings in a healthy way. In this webinar with Tamara Rosier, Ph.D., participants will learn how to "bounce back" from emotional outbursts, gain insights about their emotional dysregulation, and develop emotionally healthy responses in the future.
Download the slides associated with this webinar here: www.additudemag.com/webinar/intense-emotions-adult-adhd-strategies/
3:59 Big Emotions can cause big problems
5:20 Building Emotional Resilience
9:17 Emotionally resilient people
10:34 Basic beliefs about emotions
13:50 Identify the pattern
14:05 The Hurler aka "The Fire Breather"
14:46 The Hider aka "The Shame-Eater"
16:39 What Is your big emotional tell?
22:45 Find your catharsis
35:14 Repair Questions
39:04 Practice daily balance
46:16 Q&A
Related Resources
1. Download: 9 Truths About ADHD and Intense Emotions
www.additudemag.com/download/adhd-intense-emotions-causes-strategies/
2. Read: How’s Your Emotional Resilience? Learning to Cope with Intense ADHD Feelings
www.additudemag.com/emotional-resilience-adhd-coping/
3. Read: The Emotional Resilience Playbook for People with Big Emotions
www.additudemag.com/emotional-resilience-adhd-big-emotions/
4. eBook: Mindfulness & Meditation for ADHD Symptoms
www.additudemag.com/product/adhd-mindfulness-meditation/
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[@jonnyw82]

I think the inattentive adhd’er experiences depression bc 99% of the things we have to do in life we find so incredibly boring and pointless and futile bc our stupid brains don’t release enough dopamine.

[@fraudexposed5486]

Exactly

[@standuser9696]

When my big emotion is negative but not anger, I just have a bleak outlook and the existential dread sets in.

[@reneemilevoj601]

100%

[@ritasjourney]

We don’t have stupid brains.

[@xannaz9226]

Talk starts at 3:38 Wow! Dr. Rosier offered many new insights to me. I always get more out of people who actually have ADHD themselves. I've become a hurler, and it's horrible. Love the practical tips. Thanks for this.

[@DominiqueWright1976]

This is my first ADDitude webinar, and I really appreciated it, thank you…. Especially being able to re-watch it, as I can take time to process the information…. I felt it was clearly presented to understand some blind spots of “me”… This was very helpful for becoming aware of what I was already doing right, and where I could improve by adapting the suggested strategies to my own personal needs… Much appreciated, God bless… 🙏🏼

[@jimcochrane9375]

At 77 I am constantly amazed by the insights that make me aware of the harm I am doing by being a hurler/sarcastic hder. If only ……discovery and more importantly correction had preceded my 3 divorces. Keep up this amazing work

[@JoanneBrammer-oj7gl]

Learn

[@bekind7288]

Great info, thank you! I especially appreciate that you know what it feels like to struggle with the emotional dysregulation. I learned so much! Now I am better able to recognize those moments so I can self correct instead of just feeling guilty and vowing to 'be better next time'...which always includes residual guilt anyway. I had to laugh at the "I hate you, and you, and you" story. It's eye opening to understand that is also part of it,,,how FREEING is THAT?!!

[@eltoro92630]

Ironically, the multiple mid-video ad breaks really break my concentration, haha 😂

[@bulldogsandlife]

Best teacher ive seen /heard yet

[@dani1366631]

Thank you for this ❤️ Tamara I feel like we are emotional twins, I related to many of the personal experiences you've mentioned. I'm watching this for the 2nd time now and i'm sure it's not the last time. I follow each ADDitude Magazine webinar released and this has been the most significant one for me, thank you thank you thank you! 🙏 ❤️

[@fredhubbard7210]

This is pretty soft advice. I have big emotions, but I do not lash out at people. When I was young, it was hide, hide, hide, hide, hurl. I learned many of these by n=1 experiment. I have a few comments... Breathing in squares is not a good idea. You are much better not to hold your breath with empty lungs (raises stress hormones.) Instead, breathe in triangles-- in/hold/out/in/... I have lived through some heavy stuff including the death of a child, and false allegations of criminal behaviour including grooming of my daughter for sexual contact from an angry vindictive ex.. Endurance exercise is the absolute top. Go for a hike or bike ride to exhaustion... hard to be emotional after 6-12 hours of hard output. I hate her Pollyanna attitude toward sarcasm. Sarcasm arises because there is an experience of lack of alternatives. It is a very good sign for self examination, and consideration serious changes (especially of a spouse.) It didn't come up... but dogs are very compassionate when upset.

[@jenA9026]

Very useful tip about not holding breath on empty lungs. Thanks!

[@ritasjourney]

All due respect: not everyone has the time to exercise for six hours (or more) straight. Some of us have to work.

[@fredhubbard7210]

@@ritasjourney LOL. I am working long days, up at 4:15 AM, get back to my room at 6:00PM, and still find 2 hours to go hiking a couple of times a week. Cry me a river. Before this, when I was working in town 60hour/week, I put in about 1 1/2 hours of cycling every work day. It's called commuting by bicycle. Spare me your pathetic sarcasm. A lack of will is not a lack of opportunity.

[@teachweb69]

Water relief to hear this. So incredibly helpful. I've only just discovered this channel. You guys in the states, of course, being a bigger country and probably more developed away ahead of us with these resources compared to the UK and I've just tapped into this wealth of resources and I'm finding it life-changing

[@felou8369]

Thank you 🤗🤗

[@tanvipunjabi104]

Fantastic. Thank you so much. Very helpful. Affirming and giving new insights...👍🙏

[@lexiconartist5004]

Guilt consumes me, all the way down to the most innocuous interactions, end up occupying my mind.

[@vexhia6792]

Same, it’s tough to not let it destroy self-esteem

[@JoanneBrammer-oj7gl]

Yes

[@ColocasiaCorm]

I dont want to fix myself. I want to be me

[@reneemilevoj601]

Out of sight out of mind is a big problem for me. And the reminder that I have this emotion, but I don’t have to act on it, just makes it so real. To remember, I wrote it down and I also put it on the background of my phone.

[@nononouh]

10

[@fascistscansuckit]

So much shame over having been a fire breather, especially when parenting my children.

[@mauricefemenias9752]

I wish to meet you

[@theresabeshara-cox4107]

M

[@freedomisrising]

Over 3 minutes in and she hasn't said anything... I don't think she knows who she's talking to......

[@DK-zu6tt]

I find it highly offensive that this PhD would tell me since I can be a hurler when I really feel attacked or backed into a corner, that I have no idea the damage I do. THAT is condescending, underestimating my own self-awareness, and just frankly, insulting. Anyone with half a brain and basic observational skills can see the wake they leave behind and understands acutely that "hurlers" pass on inter-generational trauma and do real damage to relationships and people. Shame on her.

[@hbarlaam]

I have to agree. I found this very shaming. I also don't feel like a lot of what she said was broken down into small enough "chunks" to help many people. For example, the "practice daily balance" slide suggests taking frequent assessments of your mental health. What does this look like? How does one do this? When? Where? She did suggest the start of the day was particularly important but it was otherwise vague. Find a way to rank you emotional intensity--such as? Give several concrete examples. And so on.

[@matthewparker5141]

@@hbarlaam she said at the beginning that she does not have enough time to fully go in-depth with everything. She just trying to make a starting point for a very deep and complicated topic. And she would never a 5 month long conversation on inter-generational trauma alone.

[@gir1258]

Some people do not understand or are unaware of the damage they do (which is a result of emotional dysfunction). Clearly that does not apply to you, so there is no reason to take offense to that. It is great that you are aware of it, because that enables you to take the steps to modify that behavior. Saying things like "anyone with half a brain and basic observational skills" should be able to naturally recognize this implies that you do not understand these aspects of ADHD and their impact on self-awareness... Whether or not you feel attacked doesn't matter - you're missing the point. It's that your emotional state, whether it's being influenced by internal or external factors, can be healthily controlled. If you're feeling attacked or backed into a corner, then that's a different scenario entirely, and the fact that you're a hurler has little to do with that.

[@adeliepygoscelis2092]

I guess i have no brain then lol🤷‍♀️

[@thomaskirkpatrick9494]

I don't feel like this advice was really for you. My experience is she has hit every nail on the head for me. I cried cuz of how much understanding I felt from her. I think this is meant for folks who are unaware of why or how they truly act. I applaud you for your awareness of yourself! 😊 I respect the hell of that! You do have a point! If we watched this video in perception that we do know how, what, why, and when we do things. In my perception of watching this, I never was taught about how to healthily express myself in fear of being rejected. I have no idea why I do what I do. These videos have been an honest lifesaver. I feel this doctor is genuine and truly just wants to be as good at her job as she possibly can be! Her skills and the way she expresses herself, I feel no judgments or any negative feelings.