Lifting buddy beats up ghosts

[@Nepafarius]

I *WANT* this movie. Call it The Flexorcist.

[@burialgoods]

That's fucking brilliant

[@xshullaw]

YES

[@smallasian5599]

The sequel has to be The Suplexercist or I'm rioting.

[@LazyPressit]

PLEASE I WANT THIS

[@WrongNumber76]

Ghost puncher needs to be the last resort if you got a ghost

[@TurtleShroom3]

> *"FRIEND GETS MILDLY ANNOYED"*

[@sir_r1174]

Worst ghost mistake

[@virusoutbreak4989]

>watches American Dad to relax

[@nickieBurke]

" 'nuh uh' anons friend said calmly "

[@Kris-tr5nv]

Canada for sure

[@OfficialEtherial]

"DID YOU PUT YOUR NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIRE?!" Dumbledore asked calmly

[@ThePengu_96]

“My son, how is it you are able to exorcise these negative spirits so well?” “Exercise? Yeah i do it often, you should come by the gym with me sometime”

[@cinny6185]

What a gas leak does to a mf

[@JimRFF]

In Plutarch's "The Sayings of the Spartans," he records several anecdotes / one-liners to whom there is no specific attribution, but just a witty saying or story attributed to 'a Spartan'... one of these tells of a Spartan who was passing by a tomb while walking the road at night, and thinking he saw a ghost, instead of running away like a regular person, this Spartan charged at it and thrust his spear into the darkness shouting "WHERE ARE YOU FLEEING FROM ME, YOU SOUL THAT SHALL DIE TWICE?!" Lifting Buddy was that Spartan reincarnated

[@burialgoods]

based

[@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus]

Aspire to be like that spartan and the ghost puncher

[@BeansAndWeens]

@@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus And the American EOD Ghostbuster.

[@wontonschannel]

@@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus Ptsh, trying to make me believe the ghost puncher and the spartan ghost destroyer aren't the same person

[@Jakob_The_Stoic_Norseman]

​​@@wontonschanneliterally the same guy just reincarnated as the lifting buddy in modern times...I mean he was ready to use his pull up bar even 🤣

[@98based30]

>No power >Watches the TV It is true I was the remote.

[@nathans45]

yeah that stood out to me also. maybe anon had a generator or some shit fuck if i know

[@zerofighterfairy]

Powered by Faith

[@bryanvera7658]

Maybe it was only the lights were out while the outlets still have power

[@marioformicadae6637]

Sometimes when power goes out for me the lights go first but outlets are fine

[@98based30]

@@bryanvera7658 I do not know how it is there. Here it is impossible unless you only switch down the circuit braker for the lights, in that case it can happen yes.

[@chexo3]

Imagine being a ghost for decades, trying to get revenge on some old landlord bastard, and when you’re finally let out it’s by the meatiest meathead ever, and he proceeds to beat the shit out of you for inconveniencing him Then goes and scares the dude you hated into making things right

[@anusaukko6792]

Still one of the greatest stories ever told on 4chan, fake or real. The Ghost Puncher is a legendary figure.

[@michaelrichards9150]

"I don't know if this is for /fit/ or /x/" was the indication for me that this was a premier greentext

[@TheBcoolGuy]

"fake or real"? Bro are you having a larf?

[@jackplaysproductions131]

I choose to believe it's real

[@GG-pk8ux]

the only way to deal with spirits real or fake spirits TESTOSTERONE

[@hugop1264]

It’s real

[@carlsjolund2379]

The “NUH UH” made me absolutely lose it I was not at all prepared for that at all, and apparently neither where the ghosts

[@grunkgaming1955]

Imagine your some ancient semi powerful spirit and one day some dude busts through a wall and finds your skull then proceedes to use that skull as a decoration and when you try to kill him he just starts chasing you around the house

[@anitahaenel2611]

Man woke up fought ghosts The pissed on an ouija board Went back to sleep questioning if they were even real

[@Mad___Hatter]

So instead of splashing holy water everywhere, it's more effective if you enchant your body with it to hit ghosts. This is good reference

[@Ghostly3011]

*Holy Water (Consumable)* _Can be placed on a weapon to enhance damage against undead and ghost type enemies, or applied to player to enable contact with ghosts and become immune to possession_

[@Jupiter__001_]

Like how the best spell in Dark Souls is Magic Weapon (and its variants). Why try to attack enemies with magic spells when you can just enchant your club and beat their heads in with a magic stick (or indeed magic fists if you use the cæstus).

[@soupcangaming662]

If you drink holy water, you should be immune to ghost attacks.

[@Sovrakha]

Hahahaha, it's like that Florida man who equipped his fists with peanut butter, and went to fight his neighbor who has a nut allergy 😂

[@fraskf6765]

​@@Sovrakhahahahahaha 😂

[@carlsjolund2379]

I don’t care if this story is true or not anymore. If it IS indeed fiction, it is probably one of the greatest, most entertaining and subversive ghost stories in modern times, maybe even ever. It’s actually fascinating. Despite being quite ridiculous and hilariously funny throughout, it continuously manages to keep a grounded feeling in the storytelling (I’d have to write a study to fully had to explain how), and it at multiple points is able to build a really unnerving tension in some places and some honestly quite effective literary horror scenes. I could delve even deeper and explain my reasoning further, and I would love to. But it’s half past two in the morning and this old iPad is awful to write on. But damn this is such a cool story. At first I had though of like trying to write a short story or something off of this but, after thinking about it I’m really not sure if this story wold ever work outside of the greentext format.

[@burialgoods]

I'm glad you enjoyed it. Pardon the presentation, I've learned a lot more about video and audio editing since I made this video. I'm considering cleaning it up and reposting it at some point.

[@teamcybr8375]

​@@burialgoods Nah, honestly the formatting being a little jank fits the vibe. I feel like it would feel wrong if it was super polished

[@Taluien]

The whole story feels like it would make a fun horror-comedy movie.

[@kingcrafteroderderfahradtu7331]

Of course an apple product is shit. What did you expect?

[@accursedlyimpious]

@@burialgoods please sir

[@Ephlesss]

Bruh imagine thinking your house is haunted and then leaving angry voice messages for a ghost you think is there, that's God damn hilarious, keep up the content man this stuff is amazing

[@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus]

I’ve got everything from a voodoo doctor to a shaman to at least two Native American spiritual healers to a imam to a rabbi and a couple Christian denominations of priest I could call for exorcism/healing and I wish I had a reason to call em if nothing else than for the movie it would make after the fact. Iam just picturing your typical exorcism movie only for it to devolve into a spiritual gang jumping of some poor ghost where their main question is: “who are half of the people assaulting them and who summoned the devil and why is he helping?”

[@KAngel32]

666 likes

[@jakefaulkner8381]

When the barbarian rolls straits 20s

[@BonesCapone]

In a campaign clearly designed for a necromancer

[@khajiitimanus7432]

The barbarian ain't a paladin, but he still cast smite once he got some holy water.

[@mrhbombman]

Must be a Spirit Instinct Barbarian

[@Ofxzh]

“He hears the footsteps moving away “NUH UH!” “ King shit.

[@wontonschannel]

I just love the idea of this guy waltzing around his house with a glass bottle full of holy water doing useless and random shit SOLELY to disrespect the spirits

[@tiagobelo4965]

Man, this would make for a great backstory to some supernatural exorcist movie, imagine that instead of the usual old priest with a stern voice it was this giant of a dude with a pull-up bar scaring the ghosts into submission and setting the whole record straight for them, I'd genuinely watch that

[@ardnaif552]

"Scared Straight" with ghosts

[@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus]

@@ardnaif552 There was a episode of scared straight where the kids went to much higher level prison than normal for some reason, Iam talking about a place where they pulled out guys doing life with no parole, men who have nothing but their good will stopping them for harming these kids mind you and then put these men in front of youth with attitude problems to talk to them. It’s the funniest and most surreal episode out of the series and I highly recommend trying to find it, the level of “uh oh” in it is a similar level to this. That and the episode where the kid in scared straight ends up having his uncle or something being one of the guys who come out to talk to them were them most memorable.

[@koltinn]

Classic! "Holy fuck, you guys were real?!"

[@anima1-1]

Baby Blue plays as he walks back to his room, gets into bed and sleeps like a baby **credits rolls**

[@IceCapCarnivore]

5:15 "but it feels scared" this man is scary, not even for humans just ghosts

[@carlsjolund2379]

“The ghost puncher incident” bro I’m wheezing, I can’t with this story 😂

[@cypherusuh]

The punches works because he adds Holy element to his fist, making it effective vs Ghost type

[@clayc.6360]

That's bullshit how this video hasn't gotten more popular than it has for buriel's stories. This has to be the damn funniest greentext videos he's done so far and i hope it picks up its major crowd soon enough

[@burialgoods]

I was actually thinking of redoing it, at my current standards. I've learned a lot more about audio and video editing since I did this one.

[@anima1-1]

@@burialgoods If you do, don't delete or unlist this one please.

[@FatalXRisingGame]

​@@burialgoodsplease do, this is my favorite fuckin story, brings tears every time. So damn funny

[@--___--d]

There is some charm to the scuffness of it :>@@burialgoods

[@TheGunNerd]

God bless that guy, imagine the balls you'd have to have to retard strength your way to getting demons to not mess with you bc you keep beating their ass, literally

[@JAMBUILDER08]

This NEEDS to be made into a "horror" short film... from the perspective of the ghosts

[@TheHolyM249]

As obviously fake as this is, its fucking hilarious and needs to be some sort of tv show, just some strong ass dude, he isnt a medium or anything, hes just strong as fuck, and punches ghosts until they disappear

[@waynebimmel6784]

I don't think that idea can carry a whole show. But a movie with the Rock in the lead role.

[@DiscordOfDave]

They have a video game like that. It’s called Doom.

[@joethepsycho2123]

"I punch the ghost!" "Make an attack roll..." "CRITICAL SUCCESS HAHA!"

[@25thVictor]

Honestly it's not "obviously fake". There's a good chance it is but after a few personal run ins with paranormal bs and meeting some specific people this situation is like a good 50/50, it'd be a higher probability if it weren't for how convenient it is that he just so happened to find a skull in the exact wall he punched right near the hole.

[@valentinorubio703]

starring: Jason Momoa...

[@zombiewafle]

The Legend of Ghost Puncher lives on

[@Furos222]

god i would love to see this adapted into a movie cuz that shit had me grinning the whole time

[@Attaxalotl]

Somebody suggested "The Flexcorsist"

[@niropaxum958]

its like that one scene in the Witcher when he chugs a potion and fights all night

[@khajiitimanus7432]

This is an OUTSTANDING potential film plot.

[@EnlighthenedOne123]

Was thinking the exact same thing. A 20-30 minute short film would be awesome. Hell, one could even gather other stories like this from 4chan, and make it a show. Call it /X/treme Cirumcstances or something.

[@khajiitimanus7432]

@@EnlighthenedOne123 Honestly, it could be a full-length 1h30 film. A horror-comedy like the Scary Movie series.

[@gopherasoda2492]

Despite how crazy his responce may seem, it actually would work. Since they have no power if you don't give them any.

[@shred1894]

As someone who had to learn how to perform exorcisms to deal with my own home, this is pretty accurate. Of course as a result of learning this and some other stuff I can troll people spiritually. I remember once I was screwing with a friend who's house was incredibly haunted by making the ghosts more active. Shit was flying around, lights were turning on and off, their cat noped the fuck out of there quicker than I've ever seen a cat run, and electronics were doing a bunch of weird shit. Another time I made a friend dream of being chased by a stampede of goats, which was hilarious because they had no idea until I asked them if they saw the goats when they were asleep the night before. And (this one isn't a troll) then there's the one time I did a tarot reading for a coworker from the morning shift that said he would lose a family member in the near future. Two weeks later he came to me saying his aunt died. He was completely terrified of me ever since then and would avoid being alone with me.

[@generalmcarthur8401]

@@shred1894 Where can you learn this stuff? im interested.

[@2shadesofgray752]

​@@shred1894I also wish to learn more. Do you have any website or something we can go to?

[@nonsensicalhumanoid]

@@shred1894 Spiritual trolling is the greatest thing I've heard of yet.

[@anima1-1]

​@@shred1894 Are you a Christian? Tarot is the realm of demons. And inducing dreams in someone's mind sound like what would be, in the biblical sense, classified as sorcery. AKA circumventing God's required permission to mess with the things of the unseen world. For instance, using kundalini and allowing the incorporeal snake to crawl up your spine to "open your chakras" when in reality, you're simply inviting one of the most powerfully demonic and deceptive spirits of the New Age fallacy upon you. Kundalini specifically seems to try to imitate the Holy Spirit. There are so many examples like this... The fool's gold of spirituality. True gold to the ignorant.

[@hawkmoon5290]

When you turn the tables and haunt the ghost yourself, truly giga chad moment, 10/10 would watch this as a skit

[@Spooglecraft]

"and those that tasted the punch of his fist named him ... THE GHOST PUNCHER"

[@beniciounfiltered7861]

“Hispanic heritage kicks in; I nope at the last minute” LMFAO

[@SoggaSogga]

someone needs to make this into a movie this is fucking RAD

[@satanresurrectedgaming7765]

This dude is a damn Champion, I thought I was on par.. But this dude literally doing everything he can imaginable to threaten the ghost lmao The point where he doused himself in Holy Water and fought the darkness until he passed out made me want a ghost hunting team with this man, No demon shall stop us.

[@lunnihyre4215]

I just imagine that image of the really buff TF2 soldier everytime I try to think of what this guy looks like

[@Cherno35]

Tick tock heavy like a brinks truck

[@Rhino-Prime]

I'm just imagining a meet Pyro but it's just a oijie board moving

[@hallowedbeyourdays]

Ghosts: [doing ghost things] Liftbro: [I'M SORRY, CAN YOU REPEAT THAT?] caption with the pecs moving to the beat

[@kaden-sd6vb]

I just imagine sisyphus prime *spots wierd figure in the dark* "YOU CANT ESCAPE" *WAR starts blasting as he tears the house apart*

[@riptwan]

Abuela be mirin to this day

[@Sn0wFarm3er]

Someone needs to animate that! f*cking legendary gigachad

[@baronbofesthe3rd991]

i may attempt this

[@Arbyjar]

@@baronbofesthe3rd991send me a link if/when you finish

[@Communityofweirdostv]

This guy is like a swole Bugs Bunny the way he cartoonishly handles otherwise horrifying situations

[@alexeipino3994]

This man will one day become the doom slayer

[@kaden-sd6vb]

Nah bro, this mf gonna manifest as a Prime Soul

[@leviathanman7253]

The line “felt a prescience but it was scared” is absolutely hilarious.

[@SeaSudsy]

Hold up that brisket he threw out was good protein.

[@zero_profit1891]

Man literally to much of a chad to get scared of ghosts

[@TheRebubunator984]

Dude was literally like: "I don't think you understand. I'm not stuck in here with you. You're stuck in here with me."

[@Attaxalotl]

He ain't afraid of no ghosts!

[@gromblereal]

this guy is more than chad he punched a ghost, used an ouija board as a chopping board, broke it in half, then pissed on it; wiped his ass with an ouija towel, insults satan’s daughter, pissed on a satanic Bible, literally scared the ghosts themselves, wiped his balls on the ghosts papers or whatever [I died at this part lmfao] and threw it away, found the guy that was bothering them, and- ough my god the list goes on

[@DCComicsAndSomeOtherThings]

This was so worth fully listening to

[@CharliMorganMusic]

This needs to be a movie. Like holy fuck.

[@nyarlat2609]

i love all these people laughing at this as fake, while forgetting that human willpower is a spiritual force to be reckoned with. none of my stories are so chadly as this, but ive kicked noisy spirits out of my place by dint of sheer brass balls.

[@C__man]

3:08 watches American Dad 😅

[@Spadetothebrain]

This is my favourite greentext of all time now. Nothing comes close.

[@Felix-xv3wg]

*>screams "NUH UH"*

[@DeltanOptima]

This legit sounds like a bully achieving his dream: A group of dorks he can perpetually torment, with no pushback

[@kieran.grant_]

"I'm not stuck in here with you. You are stuck in here with me." Type shit

[@smashfanx7560]

i love how he legit says "holy shit you guys were real?"

[@designatedreader2406]

‘May your thirst for exorcism never quench, may the sweat on your bench-press never dry, and may we never need you again.’

[@frankfletcher_1]

The last scene gave me Return of the Jedi vibes

[@Catnippy]

imagine if luke just turned around to the force ghosts and said "holy fuck you guys were real?"

[@dryliss7639]

Who you gonna call? Ghost Punchers!

[@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus]

Why does this have the energy of the sopranos where walnuts is throwing a chair and yelling at the ghosts?

[@FateDarkess]

4:21 fking BASED

[@TheClownThatKnowsNoSmile]

Bro was moving like the Doom Slayer, the only thing they fear was him.

[@hl_scientist1964]

We dont negotiate with ghosts

[@thelaststraightguy990]

That's one way to be a ghostbuster.

[@judgeanon2922]

Anon's friend put all his points in charisma and strenght.

[@Orangnus]

This one is actually pretty creative, but tbh, lifting buddly would have gotten a 12 gauge to the chest.

[@CBeavr]

I didn't know ghosts could pack heat

[@Orangnus]

@@CBeavr Did you watch the whole video?

[@CBeavr]

@@Orangnus I did, and I was making a joke 🙂

[@susten8684]

Bro would shake it off like it was a minor inconvenience

[@zantherhayes7229]

Young arnie would be the perfect cast for this absolute UNIT

[@chesky-621]

12 minutes of absolute doom slayer

[@J2982able]

Ahh the ghostpuncher!! Fucking love this shit, shared it my buddy at work who is a gymbro and he was in tears laughing. "Holy shit you guys were real?!"

[@questionable69420]

At first i was scared by the story then the dude starting punching ghosts

[@gloryosama2730]

Lore accurate Grey Knight

[@nickieBurke]

"NUH UH" " FUCK YOU MEAN *_'NUH UH'_* "

[@ChildNightmare]

Someone needs to make a reverse horror movie based on this

[@anomonyous]

Lifting bro cares not for your worldly, or otherworldy, bullshit. He cares only for lifting and gains.

[@JackieJKENVtuber]

Found it! Also, I wish someone made a movie about this

[@badpressure]

This. This is a Paladin done correctly.

[@kaden-sd6vb]

*"we will send unto them only you. Lift and flex, until it is done."*

[@Connor_Kirkpatrick]

I think we found the most based man alive

[@Sawdust_]

i mean, its obviously fake, but this is just amazing, i really wanna see this in some movie or tv show where we just watch this dude be afraid of nothing, casually bullying spirits just cut out the nude parts and this would be s-tier imo

[@TheKitty699]

or better yet censor the nudity with png ghosts

[@thespacedinos4037]

Ghostbusters but its actually more like Scooby-Doo and you're on a one man mission

[@shigegkiyo]

Love you and your content man. no gay shit, just a massive fan. Keep on truckin brother

[@MikeF031]

Lifting buddy is like the doomslayer of the paranormal

[@OfficialEtherial]

"You're getting me angry... 😠... You wouldn't like my BUFF COUSIN..."

[@markcochrane9523]

Average SMT protagonist

[@blackbeardgamer5909]

I know it's fake but this has always been my favorite /x/ story

[@twitchyeyess]

I strive for this amount of power and masculinity

[@khairulamribinjumaat7566]

If there's something strange In the neighbourhood Who you gonna call? Ghost Puncher!

[@samuelsalvatore4511]

Dude could very well survive in the mandela catalogue universe and even throw massive parties

[@boomerkobold3943]

>throws away good food UNFORGIVABLE

[@sirflapfla97]

this is one of the best things ive ever heard

[@Robin_Goodfellow]

This is so typical of 4chan, brilliant storytelling, slightly to completely unhinged plot, written by some random person that should be writing film scripts but is probably just flipping burgers somewhere

[@maggot1782]

My favorite greentext in history

[@kiWi-zv8vr]

This man is literally Gods strongest soldier

[@beetle149]

>Tell priest he walks around naked a lot lately and talks shit about satan God i love that story so much

[@Juzevs]

There could not be a better song to go with this than "The only thing they fear is you".

[@summerrose1363]

Doom Slayer becomes a ghost buster

[@Pabloto-dq3sx]

*HOLY F**KING SHIT LMAO* this is the only green text I wish was real.

[@retrocatalog]

The most unrealistic part of this story is the lifting buddy throwing free carbs away @ 11:06

[@mr.bulldops9482]

Bro is the doomslayer of ghosts 💀

[@somerandommen]

Considering ghosts aren't real, and demons are, he just is the doomslayer

[@RustMaxxing]

fuckin "NUH UH!"

[@barnabyjones5161]

The most legendary greentext of all time.

[@JosephShemelewski]

Damn what a fun ridiculous story I love what some people can craft up more creative than actually shows and movies

[@TheGunNerd]

100% believe this is fake but if true its funny as hell. Don't know how I feel about him being nude in front of an elderly woman and priest tho