Thank you for sharing your personal experiences of your spiritual path. It is good you have now found a path most suitable for you. May you understand, study and practice well to lead you towards swift realization of your Buddha Nature - everyone has Buddha Nature. At the same time, i think perhaps previously you did not manage to find a knowledgeable and experienced Teacher suitable to your mental capacity, habitual tendencies and karmic disposition at that time to guide you to find what you aspired. I think you may have misunderstood about what Buddhism is all about. Lord Buddha did not say we have to give up all our material possessions, work, home, savings, family. As for holding precepts, it is up to the individual student whenever he/she is ready. When the student is ready, he/she can choose to uphold one , two, three, four or five. This is not forced on the student. It is one baby step at one time. There are many levels and types of Spiritual Teachers and students. In terms of Tao Master's smoking habit, i think even if he said he does not care about the side effects of smoking and that it helps his wellbeing, but perhaps he might have forgotten to consider the health aspects of his other spiritual brothers and sisters, working associates and anyone who do not smoke and are sensitive to the cigarette smoke when they are around his presence. Are you aware of the consequences of 2nd hand smoke ? Thank you 😊🙏