This made me leave IBM

[@Mackianw2005]

Yea it’s a skill set that should be obsolete. Usually with upper management. People should say what they mean and mean what they say vs trying to decipher what they are meaning. I eliminate a lot of that by asking rhetorical questions like can I say that so and so said I don’t need to be there? Then the truth should come out.

[@MAHDIHESARI]

Usually big enterprise companies pay you less and expect you more while there many smaller businesses out there which pay you a lot more and appreciate your job.

[@Grunttamer]

IBM is the zombified corpse of a once great business

[@livingtherufflife]

Agreed, i hate when people say one thing but want you to guess what they mean and yes i think u got set up. You are better then them thats why ibm is a joke.

[@Sindoku]

Ah yes. The old give you a choice that isn’t really a choice. I had a similar situation not too long ago. They ended up offering me a severance to leave, my ultimatum was to go in a PIP with arbitrary requirements like “no more than 1-2 review cycles per PR, which is just a retarded requirement. Anyway, he wanted me gone, so I left with the severance. For an about 2-3 months I was convinced it was all my fault this had happened, but I finally realized (after hearing many other people’s stories) that it wasn’t me. It was them. We were just a bad fit at that time in my life and for what he was expecting. I was hired as a mid level engineer under a different manager and never received proper management under him. The new manager expected me to be operating at the same level as the other dev in my team, who was the lead dev for the entire company (5000+ employees). I definitely learned a lot from him at my time there, and in some ways I was a better dev than him, but in other ways I wasn’t. Ultimately, I moved on and am much happier. I felt a ton of anxiety at that job pretty much the entire time I was there. Nice to relate to someone.

[@KKthebeast.Swolestick]

Nah You just had garbage management, too scared in their role to the state demands and expectations and want to play games

[@LilySteph1949]

I more than appreciate this input truly, thank you. Do you think you'd return?

[@codebreakthrough]

If the right opportunity came up, maybe!

[@rejectionistmanifesto8836]

​@@codebreakthroughI would be careful about big corporations and startups. Both end up laying massive percentage of workers soon as they have money issues on when it is time to show investors how much money they are saving. Better to work for smaller growing companies or medium sized established businesses that have been around successfully for 10-20 years at least.

[@nickst0ne]

If you weren't enjoying your life there, then that's a very fine and rational decision. For those situations where reading non-explicit social cues and other mind games, I've found that Non-Violent Communication worked well as a post-mortem. To explain it in layman's terms: express situations in terms of facts and in terms of how you, in the first person, experienced these facts. For instance: "I was told that it was OK to attend this meeting via video call. So my understanding was that it was OK for me to do so. But now I'm being scolded for not being present in-person, and I feel like the target of some dishonesty because I'm being blamed for something that I've been told was cool." The idea is to express everything in terms of "I". Avoid mentioning "you", except when it's for describing some factual thing that people did. Just my 2 cents. Also, sometimes companies are not good, or not good "for me right now". Cheers!

[@LauwaliIsaDk]

can I replaced you from Nigeria. hhh emm

[@dotpy7928]

I mean when you are given a choice to stay at home or visit a meeting in the office, in the companies like IBM - you go for the office) The other side of the coin - you didn’t want the responsibility they gave to you - and that’s totally ok. Some people want more responsibility- some want less. At the end it’s a matter of what kind of person you are.

[@ssloc]

You sound mature enough to acknowledge the role was too much at that time. But it seems like the root of your anxiety was something else. Maybe Social anxiety or you didn't want to go to an office to work. Don't blame your anxiety on the company. You even said it yourself; "it was an in person role, and you were able to get 1-2 days at home." Sounds like the company did you a favor. Reading the room is a skill you learn in corp America and is just part of capitalism. Sucks but is what it is.

[@Roadrunner65553]

IBM is all but obsolete if not dead