Causes of Hoarding Disorder

[@Name-ps9fx]

My parents went through the Great Depression, and us kids were taught to not through anything out, “because you might need it someday.” So we had baby food jars filled with random screws, nails etc, stacks of lumber (one foot long or longer), many bundles of newspapers and magazines, too many tires to count, etc. Even today I get anxiety attacks just thinking about clearing stuff out...”BUT WHAT IF I NEED THAT LATER?!?” And while I understand the logic and reason of getting rid of stuff, the emotional fear of not having something overcomes logic.

[@marillion4th393]

I think you gave a better explanation than the psychologist in the video.

[@Name-ps9fx]

@Chelle Bright Definitely it was. And many other subjects as well.

[@rileydakota6319]

i know it is quite randomly asking but does anyone know a good site to watch newly released series online?

[@grahamwill7361]

@Riley Dakota Flixportal

[@rileydakota6319]

@Graham Will thanks, I went there and it seems like they got a lot of movies there :) I appreciate it!

[@nettleneesox5770]

Hoarding is driven by a feeling of extreme loss, then an attachment to the fear of more loss.

[@TurquoiseInk]

There is also a genetic component that can get aggravated with trauma.

[@fozibear2281]

I lost my mum last December and my hoarding has gn through the roof I try to stop but can’t fill the emptiness of my mum going and leaving me tht I fill my life with things I don’t need and after buying them I realise did I really need to buy all this stuff whilst the pile of clothes get bigger and bigger but I am trying each day to b better.

[@tjjones-xj7kq]

​@@TurquoiseInkYES!!!!!! I do not have any specific trauma that caused it. My parent did it and has ADHD and now I do it. Not as bad as these shows but bad enough it's embarrassing

[@Parasi4n]

omg this really answered why my mom started hoarding 4 years ago, after her mom (my grandmother) died. thank you! she became overprotective and controlling after she died too.

[@rupertwilson7020]

That resonates.. childhood emotional neglect.. childhood trauma and/or rejection.. family dysfunction.. The consequent chaotic state of being and the search for meaning, for security, for.. any or all emotional matters, for which belongings are a poor substitute.

[@oneofyou6773]

Anxiety, loss, loneliness, grief or inability to process grief....... Those are the causes I know of.

[@tjjones-xj7kq]

ADHD add to that list for extra speed bumps.

[@ceegabe1555]

Consider ALSO chronic fatigue, EXTREME lack of energy like a dimly lit light bulb, (invisible to others-health problems), brain fog which hampers ability to focus or remember things, loneliness, depression, lack of proper exercise and nutrients. No future plans for participating in motivating accomplishments. No healthy interpersonal relationship networks where one interacts with others normally. DEPRESSION. DEPRESSION. DEPRESSION

[@snrnsjd]

They sure have energy when they bring all the garbage into the house!

[@mmcmiddlechild]

​@@snrnsjdI believe you meant this comment to be a throwaway funny remark. That said, your comment is neither helpful, nor informed. There is biochemistry at play in all our minds. There is different, and more pleasant/energy-giving biochemistry when 'gaining,' not when 'losing.' 'Losing' has unpleasant, unmotivating biochemistry, which helps to pave the way to hoarding behaviours

[@snrnsjd]

@@mmcmiddlechild I agree sir. :)

[@Grimmreefer34]

That describes my relative exactly, but she is in total denial. She buys junk, then leaves it in the shopping bags on and on

[@morpheuszzz662]

This is in response to several comments made by someone who is not understanding how families can be "so evil" and not just allow people to live this way if it makes them happy. That person leaving these comments says it doesn't affect others. I wholeheartedly disagree. It does affect others. The rest of the family has to live with the results of the hoarder's disorder. I grew up in a household like this. Same issues as others on here; I was embarrassed to have friends over, we had to keep it all a secret, etc. "Friends" I never hung out with would randomly pop in just so they could see what the house looked like and if it lived up to the rumors. There was no validation about how it affected everyone else in the family; we were just expected to deal with it because it wasn't an issue for Mom. After all the kids grew up and moved away, we spent the next decades begging her to let us help her at least organize things in labeled boxes. (It's been over 30 years since I lived there and I'm the youngest of five, so add another 20 years for my older siblings.) We didn't ask her to get rid of anything, just to make sure it wasn't a fire hazard, help her find it when she needed it, etc. In her mid-80s, she died two months after a cancer diagnosis--no time left for her to deal with it as she may have liked--and 2 of her 5 children (my sister and I) were left to deal with the mess. A 3-bedroom house with a full basement packed full, an oversized 2-car garage/shop with a full attic above, an extra shed in the backyard--ALL completely packed full of stuff. Funnily enough, there was very little from our childhood left that we had any emotional attachment to. She seemed to have cleared out all sentimental items and refilled the place with stuff she picked up from thrift stores, auctions, or infomercials. We had to take a month out of our lives--off work and away from our children--and go several states away to sort and auction her belongings, then clean up the mess. Five weeks of 12-15 hour days dealing with her disorder, as well as the PTSD caused by being forced to be back in that environment. There was no love there. She had a lot of nice and/or valuable items; however, some of it wasn't taken care of because it was all piled up and jumbled together. She had old coins and jewelry in the basement that had been sitting in water after a spring flood. There were so many things of value that it was TOO much for auction so money was lost. It wasn't feasible to sell things online. We live over 1200 miles away. What would it have cost us to haul all that shit back home in order to sell it slowly? The auctioneer was selling things like Hummel figurines by the box load for the price she paid for one figurine. In her mind, she may have thought she was leaving us things of value, but instead she left us only with frustration and anger toward her as well as a sense of betrayal. She always complained about living on a fixed income (so we sent her money) but after she died we saw that even up to a few months before her death, she was ordering things like a $3,000 vacuum cleaner that was still in its box. We learned she spent a lot of time in casinos. It cost us more to go deal with her house than we'll ever get back out of it. It's been a year since her death and I still feel more anger than actual grief. She didn't care. She didn't care how it affected us when she was alive, or when she knew she was dying, she never apologized for leaving us to deal with it. She obviously didn't really care about us at all. It was a nightmare our whole lives. It DOES affect others. Yes, you can feel pity for people who struggle with this disorder, but it is also very selfish to make everyone else suffer from it as well--maybe even more than the hoarder him/herself. I admire the people commenting on here who recognize this issue in themselves and are doing their best to get counseling to help them overcome it. This is not the kind of legacy you want to leave after you are gone. PLEASE don't do this to your families.

[@morpheuszzz662]

@@rcb8771 And thank YOU for commenting. It's helpful to know there are others who share the same experiences and get it.

[@CH-1984]

I appreciate you both sharing your stories. I'm 60 and want to declutter so as not to be a burden to my spouse and adult children.

[@morpheuszzz662]

@@CH-1984 My husband's uncle left everything extremely organized, right down to everything paid for, services planned, etc. and all documents in a file box in his closet. We only needed to call the numbers he provided to alert people his time had come. We were able to focus on grieving and not everything else. I hope to be somewhere in the middle--I know I would never be as organized as he. Doing your best will show your family you care. 🙂

[@SHurd-rc2go]

The problem I've seen with hoarders is an incredible stubbornness. You can't get through to them. I'm sorry for what you went through. What a nightmare!! What's the answer?

[@morpheuszzz662]

@@SHurd-rc2go Thank you. That stubbornness is no joke! I don't know the answer. I think it's like narcissism in they may not see the problem in themselves and like alcoholism/addiction in they have to find their own way out of it. I encourage those living with a hoarder to learn how to set their own personal boundaries to protect their own mental health.

[@Equinox1.5]

I think this is an element of hoarding but only one piece of the puzzle. There are other factors: grief, pain, lack of energy, and many other things.

[@rossiethomas]

Here we go boom 💥 exactly this is what started me down the road

[@Equinox1.5]

@@rossiethomas Me too.

[@rossiethomas]

@@Equinox1.5 I’m shaking that ish in 2020 believe that my other page I’m going to start a series

[@thecurrentmoment]

Not only that, but also just not making time to sort through stuff and get rid of it.

[@nettleneesox5770]

@@thecurrentmoment Put a timer on for 15 minutes and go through some stuff. There is always 15 minutes somewhere in a day.

[@luciashine1129]

I have personal experience with these issues. I have spent many years working aggressively on them through therapy with alot of progress. He explains the thought process of hoarding brilliantly. Somewhat painful to watch as everything he said describes what i go through so perfectly. Anyone who hoards or knows a hoarder should watch this. Please don't shame people who have this disorder. It is a sad and debilitating problem.

[@mybestideas1]

I am really sorry that you had to go through it and hopefully you are doing much better. My husband started to do this and almost burnt the house down. Our home is turned into some rodent infested mess with piles of garbage around. I can't stay there. It is not about shaming but what about me and my life?

[@rossiethomas]

Therapy doesn’t work u know u got a problem you’re a step closer to solving the issue then a person who doesn’t realize it

[@janedoh1648]

I recently gave up on my hoarding father. Shame doesn’t even work anyways. But I have a mountain of resentment towards. A lifetimes worth. Especially when I think of life could have been. If I’d known how things were going to end up, I would have killed myself a long time ago.

[@sunkat76]

@@janedoh1648 It is wonderful that you loved your father enough to care and equally wonderful that you have realised when you had to stop. Just because you had to give up all is not lost. You can't fix anyone that doesn't help themselves. I wish you well. Please ask your Doctor for support if you are feeling vulnerable and drained. Pour your energy into you. You are worth it. You did succeed because you tried so hard.

[@janedoh1648]

@@sunkat76 thanks for the kind words. I still alternate between giving up and helping. No matter what or how angry he makes me, I still love and admire my father. I was just upset when I wrote that. I suppose I was venting.

[@michellemack6640]

1 Have difficulty making decisions or multiple decisions within a short period of time so you put decisions off until "later". 2 See creative potential in every item. 3 Out of sight, out of mind. Buy more because you forget you have something similar because you can't see it 4 Like or admire too many different kinds of things, styles, eclectic gone wild. Everything is pretty. 5 Desire to rescue and save things.

[@jamesspalten5977]

Amen!

[@bethel1019]

Me to a T.

[@Roxsandee]

Makes so much sense. My life is unmanageable due to collecting, saving, hoarding. This information is different. Maybe I have a chance this time...Thank you....

[@masterkixana6852]

Did you get it?...

[@cindyc.1572]

I am married to a hoarder. I’m a neat freak and hate clutter. I love him but I have had to work extremely hard to keep our life free of debris. Every single day of my life. Sometimes I get so angry because these are his demons, not mine, but yet I have to deal with it every day of my life. The stress of throwing away even a small thing like a worthless old receipt or clothes from the 80’s etc. it’s not fair. Every day I basically have to put on my boxing gloves and fight for my home and yard. I have recently battled a brain tumor but I still have to fight his disorder every day. I’m so tired.

[@carolina_D]

I’m married to one too. It brings me so much anxiety to look at the piles he creates all over the place. It’s infuriating to me. It’s also EXHAUSTING to both look at and even talk about it. No matter how many times I bring up the subject, it keeps on happening. We discuss it, he cleans an area out (takes sometimes two days to clean), leaves it sparkling ✨ and the process starts all over again. I love him but this is such an awful disorder, I don’t know how long I can stick around.

[@franc431]

Any improvement? This is awful living this way .any tips I would greatly appreciate. Thanks. Take care

[@efrahome]

Sad to hear your story, it's heavy duty being around a hoarder, My mom is one and i have struggled time and time again with her disposition, i literally stop counting the jumbo trash bags ive gotten rid off after the 200's, i'm 30 years old and i feel like ive wasted all my youth, it feels exhausting and debilitating; soul crushing Indeed, But i guess You make it mean whatever You find meaningful about the experience, for example i'm working on a family handbook and i'm using this special insight, i know it can ve hard mate, follow your dreams and fulfill your Destiny 💗🌠

[@Alexander-rq9he]

@@carolina_D You can do it Carolina. Create a space for his things and a free space that’s yours. Set up some boundaries because you may not be able to change him..but look at him..Don’t you just love him so much? Stay strong..❤

[@TurquoiseInk]

Get counseling so you can get resources. You don't have to do this all by yourself.

[@aygwm]

It’s driven by fear of loss.

[@aribella6913]

Aaron Garcia that’s it in a nutshell. I live with someone who has this because his wife left him years ago. That’s when it started I’m told.

[@newcovenantbeats]

Thank you!

[@shanreta]

No, it's driven by actual loss, and the fear and trauma from that.

[@tjjones-xj7kq]

Maybe a lot of the time yes but not always. I don't have it as bad as the shows but with my ADHD I just get overwhelmed and put it off. Then when I get the energy I hyper focus and wast my energy on getting my window frame spick and spam🤦. I even used the steam cleaner to get it really clean😮‍💨.

[@thewokefindergeneral7631]

​@@tjjones-xj7kqwhat kind of steam cleaner? I have some dirty window frames I need to get immaculate

[@Cowboymatty]

I had a friend who's parents hoarded and I think he did too. I saw him go through the exact struggle that's described here time and time again. He was by far the most creative person I've met and I hope someday he and his parents can find treatment as it caused them a lot of distress.

[@nadiaelisian7335]

My mom is a hoarder and is now homeless. Her car is full of stuff. She shops compulsively, which idk where she gets the money. We are trying to get her into a rehab shelter with therapy. It has been like having a child who can’t make their own decisions. Not fun to be around her, but I love her and will Do everything to help.

[@rossiethomas]

If your mother is a hoarder and homeless you failed as a daughter and a human being..... therapy doesn’t work LOVE genuine LOVE you ought to be ashamed speaking of your mother as such and you just have entered my wall of shame when I get my videos back up

[@groalerable]

@@rossiethomas let her bring her shit in your house then lol

[@Jenny1954]

@@rossiethomas Your are so very correct!!!!!

[@rossiethomas]

@@groalerable shidddd she got money we can get a house together or get an rv and travel around 😂

[@rossiethomas]

@@Jenny1954 I swear ppl are so insensitive these days

[@no_peace]

Autism comes with the same way of looking at too much information and not being able to filter things out

[@VirgoMagna]

I have watched this because I have a massive clutter and hoarding issue and I did not know it was a problem until someone told me it's a discorder. In an ideal world I would just keep expanding and organising my space until it corresponds to my ideal home. So far that's what has been occurring, I gradually acquired more stuff and moved every time into a larger space. Now I had to reverse the trend, gave up extra accommodation abroad and brought the contents into the main one. Now I realise how bad the problem is. I have begun to review my collections and donate items but it's going very slowly. It's hard to make decisions to let go of things when facing uncertainty of my future, economic insecurity. I also have a fear of not dressing right and of people commenting adversely on my look or clothes. So I keep lots of choice of clothes, footwear and accessories, to allow me to dress to blend in in a wide range of social circumstances. And I keep adding to collections because fashions change. Of course then one needs time to process and review collections regularly. If something traumatic happens (e.g. serious health set back in the hoarder or their partner) and the hoarder no longer has time and/or capacity to process backlogs but cannot stop acquiring new items because it's their only comfort, then it all gets totally out of control.

[@jsabri6324]

Look into the capsule wardrobe. I have lived this way for many years and am never without something to wear. When you have too much you can't properly see what you have and constantly think you have nothing to wear.

[@MsTalkingbook]

These are the most interesting things I have ever heard about hoarding. Thanks.

[@GigglyGirlPearl]

One of the best analysis I've heard. I tend to look at objects that are expected to be tossed as things that could serve another purpose, but usually as something I can make out of it. I had to learn to "improvise" when we didn't have the necessary ingredients or objects or tools as methods needed to obtain equivalent goals or functions.

[@watcherwlc53]

the processing of information, as described, the way an object might be evaluated, as described, reminds one of the way an artist, curator, or archaeologist might evaluate and assign importance to an object.

[@Jenny1954]

or even a Doctor or nurse.

[@Dots_thepuppy]

I think for me I know I have a little problem is being scared of letting go of the good times that happened when I got the stuff

[@ADreamBee4618]

Linzi Lipinski Take a picture of every object, and then get rid of it. You won't have a diminished emotional reaction looking at the picture most times, and then you can have a small box of pictures rather than a room full of stuff!

[@lisapalmeno2853]

Linzilezzi scrapbook some of it

[@thecurrentmoment]

And ignoring the crappy time you're creating right now due to having so much stuff that it impacts the way you live (negatively)

[@yippehanako]

They're already gone. The moment has already passed and you can't go back to it by any means. You have a memory of it and that's all an object is triggering in you. You don't need an object to reminisce, though. Your brain will store it if it matters. And if you forget it, then you won't know the difference.

[@wildlifegardenssydney7492]

This is so pertinent. Thank you Dr Frost you explained this perfectly. These brain functioning differences, information processing differences and information overload is exactly it. This is also very much how people on the autism spectrum process information (too much leads to overload). SO many creative uses for everything suddenly causes paralysis . There are huge differences and difficulties in decision making-the moment a hoarder holds an object to make an (anxiety provoking) decision about it going. Creativity run amok. Decision making nightmare. Then add to that so many possible life scenarios …..Miss Havisham like…..the 30 years of an untouched room of a murdered child full of smells , good memories and love…..or the stories behind the grief, trauma, loss, shame, insecure attachment to caregivers as an infant. The hidden despair. The child of a parent that suicides, paralysed with fear when going through their parent’s things. The fear of discarding something that may be a pivotal piece and hold the answer to why they suicided?….why they left them?….the objects and photos looked at over and over……the answers over a lifetime that never come…..Abandonment issues…..of estranged children….Then there is the beautiful constancy of a “LOVE” object, such as much loved childhood teddy for an isolated only child, or a street kid. Many who grew up deprived of a benevolent special person, or unconditional love. Then those or grew up with childhood cptsd. Many others truly feel the dead family members objects are like they are still with them (presence) in special and unique ways. For instance a soft jumper still smells of their mother’s smell and perfume. Wearing it is like a soft hug they wish they had from them. Or a mother and cancer survivor looking and smelling the baby clothes of her grown up children who are too “busy” to visit. The total number of traumatic life events correlate significantly with the severity of hoarding. For some, resources and survival are so hard to come by and nothing goes to waste. When someone has nothing for example in a 3 rd world slum, or refugee camp, or a street kid that ran away. A safe home (with things) to shelter in (after the horrors of the street predators) is like a dream. They want to have all the things they never had. They never were taught how to clean, or organise. They like to rescue an objects (like they wished they were rescued from abuse). Then there are the many primary school teachers who has so many resources and teaching things, as they just never know what grades they will have next. I think hoarders have significant difficulty with Executive Functioning and Initiation too. I would like to hear what Dr Frost thinks about that?

[@Alexander-rq9he]

Hoarding is a strategy to avoid painful emotions…journaling will help you process things. If you’re a hoarder, I send you my love..❤ You can heal.

[@nangidkram8652]

Dr Randy Frost. You have nailed it! I am a hoarder who exhibits all of those traits. If I meet you once, ten years later, I'll remember the tiny details of the meeting like the piece of wayward cotton on your shirt. I can find a screw, but, bolt if piece of plastic in a room full of thousands of things. I know I have this so try to limit myself to picking up small metal fixings, bolts etc when I am out. I have quite the collection. Thanks for the insight.

[@aartlukaart463]

There's a thing not mentioned: P A I N . As a child a haorder has gone through immense psycholigicalI pain/neglect. I don't mean the loss of a doll. I mean not beïng seen as an indivual with an own will and with real wants that were not fullfilled. This is the area of a psychiatrist and this psychologue only sees the superficial. He has no way to deal with the causes; he has never learned that piece of cake.

[@lauralam105]

Aart Lukaart my husband had a terrible hoarding disorder when we married years ago. It was a terrible struggle for both of us. Although he is on the artistic side, I prayed and thought deeply for a very long time and, after observing him; gathering his history growing up and his young adult years, I came to the same conclusion. He had great loss and sadness, almost from birth, and even up until I met him. I believe, from my observations of my husband, that he has suffered such great loss in his life i.e. respect, family, friends, so he held onto things knowing that those things would not go away or die. Through the assistance of his very wonderful counselor, my prayers, patience and continually expressing that I would not leave him; things have become so much better. I think it will always nag him and may be always so, but we finally have a home that is very lovely, peaceful and comforting.

[@lindaree1987]

@@lauralam105 GOD bless you sis for enduring with him and praying for and with him.

[@66crush9]

I have always thought that if anyone "details" anything too much OCD , or this Hoarding or whatever was abused as a child... in fact I have never seen either that did not co-exist and as you state here it is largely looked over by Psychologists of all people, just a mystery to me...

[@GallieSallie]

My mother was a hoarder and I watched four or 5 episodes of "Hoarders" until I couldn't any more - it was very painful to watch. What I have concluded is that everyone who is a hoarder has suffered a major trauma in their life. Another response here said that hoarders were abused children, that may be it, idk. My mother told me that she had an uncle who molested her. She didn't tell any of my other siblings only me and I'm not sure they believe me, but I feel that is why my mom hoarded.

[@jamesspalten5977]

It's a mental illness. People are born with it. I don't say this to minimize it. It is a very difficult thing to deal with.

[@jol2924]

I am a close family member to a hoarder, and most of this I have figured out myself- but it is nice to get it confirmed that I am not the "mad" one. (I don't say hoarders are either)

[@cynthiaennis3107]

Some may also have brain damage...I say this mostly based on what I have learned about my own brain through The Amen Clinic...and truly, Dr Amen really does know what he is doing! The testing is very extensive/exhausting & I’m very glad I got some answers...makes much sense!

[@lauralam105]

Cynthia Ennis is this Dr Kevin Amen?

[@cynthiaennis3107]

I agree...esp. w/ADD...true about creativity & ideas of what we can do with certain items, some lose the ability to focus or hyper focus...having way too many thoughts in their heads...so overwhelming they cannot possibly organize all of the overwhelming thoughts due to an incredible amount of much prolonged stress...I don’t know, but as the thoughts become unmanageable, so does the living space!

[@sweetpeace5]

Cynthia Ennis Yes it’s an anxiety disorder

[@leovangogh6917]

Being abandoned by my family and told by my mother that nobody likes me or that I would never amount to anything....Betrayals and gaslighting by fake bastards that are predators are my reasons for being a hermit and a hoarder. I buy enough supplies to live a few months without having to see or talk to humans.

[@privateprivate8366]

This and the previous video have been the most informative and most closely related to what I’ve seen and experienced within myself to an extent. Another thing is that, while society loves to chastise hoarders, as in many other aspects of life, society is often a big enabler. What I mean by this is that, more so than ever, a big area of store sales, along with the abundance of everything else they offer, much of which is cheap to acquire, are storage items - bins, containers, shelving, etc. I would suspect that, despite its almost antiseptic profile, The Container Store survives off of and even may encourage hoarding. Buying bins, whether clear or opaque, has a redeeming quality and makes it so one does not need to make decisions, as long as they organize it. That, within their psyche, as well as those of others who may visit them, instead of being a hoarder, or even merely a clutter bug, they’re actually a “neat freak.” The reality is that all it is is a wolf in sheeps clothing, meant to fool the wolf, as well. Also, stores like TJ Maxx, HomeGoods and Marshall’s offer a shopping experience which dictates “shopping without thinking” because they often have but one of each item or they have shipped pieces of a set to different locations. They’ve also begun to eliminate layaway. So, what this means is that you buy it now or miss it. You can miss it if the person next to you grabs it or if you think about it while in the next aisle. So, it creates an emergency of not thinking and simply buying. Another thing which has contributed to hoarding is societal instability, political, economic and even changes in weather patterns (expecting fewer, but more damaging, storms). The feeling that tomorrow might not come causes one to hoard and feel that they have excellent, indisputable reason to do so. We live in a society that says, “Eat and acquire! Just don’t gain weight and hoard!” These are mixed messages that are not always easily handled. In addition, I think many know what it’s like in the modern day workforce. The necessity of being overworked and/or having multiple jobs has become such a norm that society, including close friends and family can be indifferent to one’s plight. Sometimes, the only soothing one has is to stop off at the mall on pay day and pick up a little of this or a little of that. A bit of reward for their woes. Wound-licking even. But all of these things, sometimes not so little, wind up being a hoarding situation. You can have them but, have no real use for them or can’t access them. You may even pay for a storage unit to hold onto them, exponentially depleting you resources so you actually end up buying and then renting what you’ve bought, even if you purchased it cheap at a garage sale or got it for free.

[@Marnie-hates-winter]

Yes!

[@sweetpeace5]

Marketing magicians make consumerism rampant; society working like a mouse on a wheel to make more $ to pay for more stuff to pay to atore it, fix it spend time getting rid of it. Spend the first half of life acquiring & the second half, giving it away

[@rossiethomas]

I wholeheartedly love this comment

[@privateprivate8366]

Miss So Opinionated yes, and I see myself caught in these cycles, this dynamic. I have too much for my space but, I know that my family has always tried to buy the “good stuff” when we can afford to do so. Nicely designed, well done, solid wood, marble, etc. Speaking for myself only, I’m pretty sure that I was not only buying, with the eye of a creative as, that’s what I do for a living. But, buying stability that is not really as part of this world. Perhaps, it’s why boot lovers buy boots - a feeling of stability. I still love what I have and hope to buy a home. But, in the past 2 years, this has been tripped up. I was to inherit one of my my mother’s 2 homes but, she turned into quite the abusive, malignant, covert narcissist. So, I find myself just getting started in my mid-fifties, during the unsure economic world of COVID and it’s economic fallout. I’ve become a Prepper, in the interest of what many consider to be a highly-possible dystopian future as, I know that, despite enjoying my solitude, I’m now isolated. There’s a difference. I’m glad that many of the items it have are nice quality, vintage. But, things have become so bare boned, I question the worth of everything and am just looking to curate to a comfortable level now. I never really considered myself to be a hoarder. I guess. Perhaps, I define myself more by lessened functionality, in terms of being able to pursue my dreams, despite house cleaning and organizing, than by the confinement of it. I don’t really have much interest in the world conveying, “Thats the space you have. If it doesn’t look like Pinterest and we don’t like it. You have more than you deserve!” I’m also disinterested in being told to give items away, because others might need some of it, as if I’m incidental to the acquisition of it. I know people who tell me, “Just throw it all out.” Do you REALLY think I show up everyday, to sit in a cubicle, to work for people who don’t care about me, doing things I don’t care about, in a place I’d rather not be, so I can rent an empty room?” The sign of a cluttered desk might be the sign of a cluttered mind, but the opposite is no less true...

[@rossiethomas]

@@privateprivate8366 so much of you and what you say resonates with me. I feel I’m way more qualified to deal with hoarders then these psychologist. For one I trained as a psychology major myself, secondly I’m an empath, I have experience dealing with several members of my family, lastly I’m one myself.... I would love to use your comments in my videos on my other page as well as personally document your journey. I would love the opportunity to work with you as well as help you but I don’t know how close you are to Virginia

[@msbutterfly714]

My mother is a hoarder as in piles 4-5 foot high, sad thing is we, including my father (R.I.P.) could never have no one over due to her hoarding, very embarrassing for us all, and I do blame her that her addiction or problem or whatever inflicted the whole family. Now that I am older, I slowly take stuff out of the house and donate it or chuck it. Little by little I will clean this up and no, I dont care what she says she can yell yada yada yada but to live in filth I am not going to stand for it.

[@teresat2595]

Why should it effect you though??? If hoarding as you say it makes her happy why upset her by taking it away or even worse throwing it out. Family can be so evil 😡😡

[@teresat2595]

You come across as very controlling yada yada yada

[@MOONCAT666]

Of coarse she should try and do something you can't wait forever. I am desperately trying to clear and huge arguments happen but It needs to be done and why should I be left with my dad's literal dump upon his death. I alone will be the one to deal with it so yes it can be family's business, it affects everything.

[@danip2476]

Theresa T why are you so mad though are you a hoarder?

[@morpheuszzz662]

@@MOONCAT666 I just posted something today (1-14-20). Please show it to your dad and BEG him not to do this to you. Unless he wants you to only remember him with anger, he needs to start seriously dealing with it NOW. If he loves you...

[@KrisHughes]

This is really interesting. I'm not a hoarder, but I've always recognised that I could easily become a hoarder. I completely get that difficulty in prioritising the value of things - and an added burden for me is concern about things like recycling (or lack of). However, happily, there are no big piles of stuff or overstuffed storage areas in my house, but it feels like an ongoing battle, even so.

[@fashehc]

Thank you for a new awareness of this issue. i would like to add more: Keeping things/papers out and not filed away, but eventually piled is supposed to remind one to work on it such as read it, pay it, order it, file it, but more stuff that needs working on gets piled on top and life gets in the way. Also keeping some items that the rest of the world thinks is trash is a method of making trash into treasures. How many art pieces have we seen that creatively did just that? My mother, the artist, did the latter, and art was the result. I do the former till I realized that my being sidetracked needed to be tamed and to make time for filing. I have created File Friday, but how many Fridays have passed sidetracked into something else?

[@teepe5240]

I feel its filling up space to block out their loneliness and pain., house isn't so empty and large then. Could also be the loss of a long ago hope that never came to fruition and the hope it could still happen if I hold on to certain clothes etc

[@TheNinnyfee]

I agree with the creativity streak, and I suspect that it was often unappreciated by the world around these people. Order is overvalued compared to kindness, social skills, creativity, and knowledge by most people. If you abuse your children and hide it by dressing them neatly, staying thin and keeping your home in order perfectly, no one will notice unless somebody who does not overvalue order steps in. And everyone will regard you as a perfect family. This is not my story, but I have witnessed it. People often shame disordered people because they are happy to have found a "doormat" with a visible problem they can dump their problems on, and the hoarder becomes more and more ashamed and afraid to open up. Then they use their creativity to tell stories around items they do not need to protect themselves from more harm by other people because they have basically lost trust in anyone.

[@luciashine1129]

You get it. Thank you for being kind. I wish more people were so understanding.

[@no_peace]

❤❤❤❤❤

[@SueEnoughIsEnough]

Well said

[@missmatch9058]

Oh my gosh, thank you for this comment!!

[@ibrudejude]

What can cause someone to become so out of control... It has to do with emotional need

[@jamesspalten5977]

It's a mental illness. It's the worst for the person that has it.

[@Jenny1954]

Have you ever thought that a person is lonely cause they grew up in a very dysfunctional family. Where the only important person in the family was the father, and the mother and father made decisions that would only benefit them, and disregard their children's wishes? Where some children were left along for periods of time as punishment, or because they no longer wanted to care for their children. Where one child would be a social outcast due to her sister's lies about her sister? Where the victim did everything in their power to help ALL the family members no matter what? And now when she needed friends the most, she did not have them due to her stunted social skills? Where each child only thought of themselves. where in older age they decided not to help their siblings in need?

[@ibrudejude]

I never was a hoarded until around 2005. I was always organized and OCD about it. I have went through so much struggle since 2005. I became a compulsive shopper then the hoarding started.

[@Lovelynrose007]

Great information, I have genetic traits of hoarding passed down from my dads side and my brain processes things exactly like what is mentioned 😮

[@marshaflorom5036]

Dr,Frost, thank you for your help. I am getting rid of anything that is not important. Marsha .

[@avanellehansen4525]

A big one for me is repurposing items. I was doing it before upcycling was a thing. Yes, creative. Don't want to replace, put in landfill.

[@richarddixon7855]

You got it! Same with me. Grew up during the early '70s Keep America Beautiful/Earth Day/Population Zero era which must have made an extreme impression.

[@davidjones6956]

I started hoarding 2 yrs after my Father died. For me it's books, and I go in a vicious cycle of buying and getting rid of them to charity shops. Far too many to read. It recently got worse with one of those bi-weekly magazine collections. Biting the bullet, and going to get rid of most of collection. Charity shop will get a windfall. Have to get my life back. Shocked into this after seeing pictures of hoarders rooms, and saw a mirror image of mine.

[@vickismith6797]

For many there is a lost or some grieving that started the hoarding as you pointed out in your start. I am surprised that he did not mention that. Perhaps, other Google searches can shed light on this catalyst.

[@2adamast]

Books are the one thing I most successfully remove. Every time I touch/move them I throw/donate the lesser 20% books away.

[@woolpuppy]

Thanks for uploading this. I'm trying to help myself

[@barbararankin5038]

You are the first to comment on the bottle cap which I struggled with in my partner. You obviously understand the hoarder. Thank you.

[@geoffdearth8575]

I do think that creativity might enter into it.

[@maam-yj8ph]

As a hoarder I see hoarding as an addictive lifestyle. I don't think that anyone hoards for any special reason any more than people drink alcohol, smoke, do drugs, or eat junk food or become any kind of addict. In other words I think anyone can find a path towards hoarding. Some people hoard because they are lazy and don't want to work evey day, others because they are anxious about losing something important, or they are shopaholics who use the high of the buy to fill the meaninglessness they feel inside. In the same way not every female drug addict becomes a sex worker but enough do that it's hard to say which behavior starts first and which behavior is a cope for the other behavior. The bad behaviors all feed into each other.

[@teresat2595]

I love seeing what hoarders collect. Weather it be empty coffee jars or antique collectables.

[@marymarysmarket3508]

@Chelle Bright And that would be me.

[@truthseeker1161]

AS the husband of a hoarder, I can guarantee that creativity has zero to do with the condition. In my case, my wife creates an attachment to every single thing. Someone touched it or it belonged to the baby but he long outgrew it, we still have to keep it. She has filled 4 out-buildings and is now starting on the house, we cannot even invite anyone inside because she has piled up our living room and our son's room. I am at wits end. I am a 100% disabled army veteran and we are raising a non-verbal special needs son. I refuse to let her start piling up his room or our kitchen and bedroom. Every time I mention she needing therapy, she explodes and tells me how "stupid" I am. Where from here? This video was certainly not accurate.

[@DChristina]

Praying for you and your family

[@NitpickingNerd]

@@DChristina prayer never helped anyone its a waste of time

[@ImAFuckingDuck]

Has the situation gotten better, changed, or gotten worse?

[@FknNefFy]

I can tell you personally you’re right about all this because I feel like a lot of people throw away things that they think are useless but I could see so much potential for I could use it for so many things that is not useless to me and they are just blind to itBut also living a normal life wasteful but normal

[@nmmorin3509]

Interesting deduction 🎉

[@attheranch873]

Thank you for this information, I hadn’t heard this before

[@TheRusscarr]

couldnt help notice a huge heavy piece of furniture filled with plates that never get used behind him.

[@Yeeyu77]

This guys explanation checks out for me. Everyone who feels anxiety and loss doesnt have a hoarding problem, it may just trigger whats already there.

[@kelliethorne1200]

I've always had a tendency towards hoarding, but it has become exacerbated recently with a series of personal losses of a mother and also a romantic partner if 15 years. I know the brain damage I suffered in a car accident 35 years ago really affected my ability to make decisions and now the losses have probably exacerbated my depression. I think I will ask for some more anti-depressant help.

[@vmobile890]

Straighten your items up in categories . Those items are mental image pictures of parts of your life history . If you take a picture put in digital album and photo graphics that might help . They will be at your access to view not in a pile or boxes . When viewing the item imagine the positive in the picture .

[@KasieMusic]

My dad's a hoarder. Cannot make decisions, this is totally true. Plus he thinks he might need the thing later.

[@dontran391]

Can PTSD contribute to hoarding disorder? My dad and his entire family (i.e. his parents and siblings) have hoarding problem... My dad and his family born and raised in a rural areas of Vietnam during the Vietnam War days, where the Vietnam rural areas during the war where all the combat happens... Perhaps my father and his family got PTSD from they witness in Vietnam during the war, and it overall contribute to their hoarding problem?

[@SailorYuki]

my ex-husband is borderline hoarder. He just refused to throw anything out, even empty, used envelopes and cereal boxes. With my help he has gotten better with throwing stuff out and we are well on our way to getting a clutter free home. We used to litterally have boxes stacked on boxes floor to ceiling, our storage where so full you had to dig everything out to even find something.

[@VultureXV]

My grandma lived through both great depression and Kansas Dust Bowl at a young age and developed a consistent hoarding desire. She couldn't throw anything away, especially food. My dad, aunts, and uncles had to clean out her fridge because she just kept holding onto years old expired food. I was raised by her quite a bit, as both my parents worked and left me in her care. I have some hoarding tendencies but mine manifests in plants of all things. I am the type that has plants just...everywhere; like organized chaos. I have an intense need to garden, propagate, and grow plants.

[@snixiby]

This also describes aspects of HSP’s.

[@alisonbrowning9620]

I am a hoarder of sorts but very obsessed with tidiness and keeping my stuff in order, sure I have about 2,000 cat figurines, old dolls, books, vintage clothes, pictures, news paper articles, vintage china but they are carefully arranged on shelving, in boxes, labelled and organised according to colour and size, I love to clean up and tidy and archive things but if you asked me where I put the gas bill I'd have to say " no idea,it's in the boring box" the boring box is the box where bills and stuff like that get chucked in chaos. I have Aspergers syndrome so it is related to that I think. In that if interests me I am so organised it's painful but if it's what i call boring. ie bills and paper work I don't give a fig. i also have OCDs about cleaning and struggle to sit still, I potter about endlesly and have to be on the go, I only sit to watch stuff and write or draw.

[@katman734]

Hi, it sounds to me your a collector rather than a hoarder.

[@teresat2595]

I can totally relate & I'm the same in many ways. I love what I have collected over the years but also very organised. Nothing worse than a cold employ boring house.

[@els4044]

Thats interesting.. Thanks for your story. It seems to me thats a asperger thing. In the dsm you can not call it a hoarder disorder but it is a part of the autisme. I am like you. I know a lot of woman who are the same. Also the theme of the hoarding: vintage clothes, dolls, etc. It became a problem when you are to ill to sort it out and clean it.

[@els4044]

Theresa T 😀 Agree! I dont know what people are doing in empty clean houses.? Only watching tv or playing games? I don t know .

[@LilBrownieD]

My question is, if they value their objects, why do they often let the objects get dirty, ruined, and unkempt?

[@FknNefFy]

WowwwwYou are the first person who has ever said that I literally to what I thought about it the whole time but all I have ever heard people say is that people for because of Some trauma in their past

[@Tregrense]

Fascinating information. I'm fortunate to be somewhat self-aware so my hoarding hasn't overwhelmed me. I can certainly confirm most of your observations. I don't have a lot of contact with the outside world because my personality is composed mostly of emotional scar tissue. I read a lot of books and collect cardboard boxes that have the right proportions. I wish you well.

[@morriswilburn9858]

If this psychologist’s theory is correct, why in many cases does the hoarder begin his hoarding behavior suddenly? Often after an emotionally traumatic event (e.g., divorce, death of a loved one).

[@no_peace]

There are different kinds and causes of hoarding.

[@no_peace]

People who start hoarding suddenly after a trauma likely have biology/experiences that tend toward hoarding but hadn't been activated before.

[@aartlukaart463]

Later, because in midlife one has other character-qualities that makes life manageble. Later the soul gets tired of making trips around the pain/ later one comes more to the core of the self and one has to deal with the pain/the character-disorder.

[@chinophilipreyesreyes5738]

I am a hoarder since i was 7 years old. I don’t know why, but I enjoyed being a hoarder. I also managed anyway, to throw away the least important or the ugliest stuff.

[@user-rj1vj5wk9f]

I really like Mr Frost's explanation, he's helped me to realise why I constantly have clutter and a huge mess.

[@JudiL-f4v]

I truly don’t believe grief or trauma is what actually “causes” hoarding. I have a couple of family members who are true hoarders, one has hoarded herself right out of her house over ten years ago, (can’t even open the door and has lived on the couch of a friend), has several storage units filled with forgotten junk. No trauma, by her own admission, only stubbornness and narcissism. It’s been a true life-altering nightmare, because for over twenty years she’s had more people try to help her, and she’s been horrible. Now with that said, I do believe it could be genetic perhaps, with a tendency to hoard. Either way, excuses and blaming loving helpers is a never-ending thing. I’m tired to death of people like her getting Al this “understanding”.🙄

[@bethel1019]

I'm currently trying to clear out my parents' house where I've been living for several years. I lived away for a long time but moved back in with them when I lost my job, partly because I was renting and couldn't keep up the payments, and partly because my parents were elderly and needed more care. Now I have to sell the house and have spent months trying to clear my clutter. The garage was full of my furniture and other items I brought back home with me, and on top of that I still had stuff stored at home from before I moved away. During the last few years I've accumulated more and more stuff due to compulsive buying (books, magazines, craft supplies, stationery, etc), so the task of decluttering is overwhelming. Besides my own clutter, I've also had to dispose of literally hundreds of my Dad's books and a lot of vinyl records which we didn't deal with after he died. Then my Mum died earlier this year and I've had to dispose of all her clothes and handbags, etc. I'm hoping to move soon to a smaller house and I fear that a lot of unsorted stuff will end up having to be bagged and taken with me to my new house. I really do have a problem. Am convinced it's partly genetic as my Dad was obsessed with books and also found it hard to let go of things.

[@jessicamonday7966]

My husband is definitely creative, he is a hoarder, I'm a purger, I put something in the trash pickup one time, he went out and got it back in the house

[@duchessedeberne3909]

Bottlecaps are important in Fallout

[@NitpickingNerd]

Its future money :D . Hoarders will be rich

[@tashanicole7524]

My stepson is a hoarder he’s 14. I believe it stems from the divorce of his parents. Also his mom and dad are pretty absent. Dad is ALWAYS at work and the mom doesn’t come around often. He hoards our dishes, food and water bottles, Pop cans,and food wrappers and containers. He also takes random things around the house, keys, chargers, my ring box, lighters etc. I am a social worker and I’ve told my husband many times that his son has some issues because he also binge eats as well. But my husband gets upset and says it’s just a normal teenager being lazy and he’s a growing boy so that’s why he eats like that and food disappears. Guys it’s really bad we barely have dishes because my step son takes them and hides and will throw them away if my husband gets pissed enough about his room. My husband is in complete denial and I don’t know what more I can do. We are moving and my husband made him empty his room. It took days and he has 8 contractor sized bags full of nothing but water bottles, food containers and wrappers, cans oh and our dishes that I pulled out. But yet he has no problem according to my husband. Plus the ex wife is a hoarder according to my husband and step daughter

[@younginsane90]

I'd be very interested in hearing an update on your situation whenever you have the time I think my Mom is a hoarder I just started doing my research on this condition

[@DanielEngsvang]

We "hoarders" really OVERTHINK things much more in depth in many ways and just as he says here we have a kind of "Savant-ish" photographic memory that i can relate to 1000% Because i can remember exactly where my stuff is even in such an EXTREME mess that other people would see it as. But MANY MANY MANY people are hoarding Money but there is never anyone who talks about them really?.. Daniel/Sweden

[@yesthisisshi]

uh-oh. I keep a lot of things like bottle caps and corks for art purposes. I have specific projects I'd like to use them for. should I be worried?

[@kathym6603]

I wouldn't worry. Can you easily clean your house? Is your car relatively neat inside? If your bottle caps and corks and "art stuff" take up over half a room and growing, that's another story.

[@l.a.raustadt518]

This is something I need to figure out. Seems after I had changes in my not so organized life I became a hoarder. Good news is my house is small and live alone. As I age this must change. Depression parents , divorced, was a trucker and creative. Thnx!

[@FknNefFy]

I also think that ADHD and hoarding have a lot to do with each other and the symptoms overlap

[@Marnie-hates-winter]

So, if you took a hoarder and put them in a hunter-gatherer society, where there just aren't a lot of man-made things, how would their particular mental outlook play itself out? Might it not be a problem? I really don't know, but about the only thing they would be able to hoard would be natural things (sticks, pinecones, etc.) Have we ever heard of this problem from any historical documents for centuries ago, or observed in modern hunter-gatherer societies? Maybe our unnatural modern society allows people's natural quirks to take hold and get the better of people, when in a more natural environment, it would be just....a quirk or maybe even some advantage to the community.

[@sweetpeace5]

Marnee Pinch Very interesting thought there🤔I actually don’t see the creativity connection for a number of reasons that go much deeper than simply seeing things in greater detail. Nope.

[@willieverusethis]

There's nothing like this in healthy societies. It's only in modern consumer society that we see this particular addiction/mental health disorder. Hunter-gatherers operate on the gift economy, where every object is magical and carries a part of the soul of the giver. If someone were to hoard things, it would be considered an offense against the spirits, the ancestors, and everyone in the community.

[@Marnie-hates-winter]

@Renee Fraser so you are saying there are no genetics at work here, that this disorder is purely due to environment, it's all "nurture" and no "nature", is that right? Has that been proven?

[@Marnie-hates-winter]

@@willieverusethis But hoarding is just the symptom of a mental illness, and there are indications that it is genetic. Are you saying it's not possible for a person in a hunter-gatherer society to have a mental illness?

[@SeniorAdrian]

You forgot something, Doc: TRAUMA, ABUSE.

[@robotaholic]

I personally know 1 hoarder and he's so funny and creative beyond normal.

[@cecillekinnear4585]

I have an unusual fascination with the physical property of objects and attentional problems which means i could wallow in a bath tub looking at a toothpaste tube. Im chronically disorganised but not quite a hoarder. But by the grace of God go I. This is very a valuable insight.

[@seattlebeard]

I'm saving hoarding videos in an enormous playlist on KZbin. I haven't watched them yet, but someday I will. Right now I'm focused on getting as many as I can find. 😉

[@mya5980]

Seems to me that amount of information, researching, studying is not enough since every hoarding person and circumstances are very unique.

[@mojo9021]

I struggle with this as well. This video gives valuable insight into the propensities of people developing this disorder - really interesting to me. But what got left out is the trauma that starts it all. The hoarding doesn't arise spontaneously - it's in itself a symptom of deep emotional wounds that people were not able to process. Mostly a feeling of being lost and insecure as a kid makes you hold onto all this stuff to numb and distract you from the emotional pain and underlying fear of loss. Seeing it lying around also provides a distraction from the fear and doubts running through your mind and a way of relating to something that doesn't want anything from you as a human would, as those were experienced as at least partially threatening and overwhelming in childhood. Maybe it also provides a feeling of being sheltered behind piles of stuff from an outside world that is subconsciously perceived as being unsafe and threatening. And I guess there is an element of self sabotage and self hatred as well: something within telling you you don't deserve to live in a tidy and nice-looking space. As kids we are completely reliant on our parents or primary caregivers - hence we need to make sure we get the attention and care from them. When parents themselves are stressed and emotionally overwhelmed however they oftentimes struggle with providing that. Kids then feel a sense of terror and secondarily inadequacy and then either act up and become little narcicists to get the attention and safety they need or they project their aggressions on themselves conforming and submitting and trying to regulate their parents' emotions so their parents don't get mad at them, making themselves believe subconsciously that they as kids are the ones who are at fault for just existing, as the alternative would mean it's your parents' fault which is never allowed to happen by the kid's psyche as parents need to be perceived as perfect as they are your whole world and you rely on them totally as a kid. The second option of turning your aggression inward is more common in people who are more sensitive or perceptive as described in this video (see the term HSP and greater openness to experience in the big five model of personality, and the resulting creativity mentioned in the video), as these types of people like myself cannot handle the overwhelm and extreme overstimulation of going against one's parents as little kids. When you felt unsave in your childhood by e.g. having been criticized regularily when making mistakes and not being listened to empathically, you then don't develop the confidence to trust your own decisions and feeling that you are loved and held no matter what and therefore then subconsciously try to hide behind disfunctional circumstances to have an excuse for not living life which may involve decisions you are afraid of, ranging from what to throw away in your living space to the bigger decisions postponed by staying occupied with little trinkets and clutter ... thereby further confirming your subconscious self image of being unlovable and somehow inferior ... I feel perfectionism and other forms of self sabotage and procrastination are similar coping mechanisms. In moments in which I feel more self-love and more trust in myself I can feel all these "disorders" which are actually symptoms of emotional trauma diminish noticeably. It's a feeling of peace and freedom I would love to feel more often ...

[@orkneymiss]

Pain in the neck living with someone like that.

[@nangidkram8652]

Ha! My Missus is slowly going crazy.

[@cynthiaennis3107]

Beryl Simpson née Gillespie I bet they think the same of YOU! 😉😉

[@missmatch9058]

It's a pain in the neck to live with it if you are the hoarder, plus all the psychological stuff, too.

[@bpxl53yewz29]

I don’t agree with him. He’s saying hoarders are ‘too creative “ and that’s how their problem started. If you watch the Hoarders show, most of them had some sort of loss or grief they couldn’t deal with and so started collecting. This video was made over 10 yrs ago when there wasn’t a “coming out” of hoarders, so it seems he is going by textbook info, not real life examples.

[@dawnmarie9868]

Dr. Frost, which part of the brain? Overactive? Underactive? Treatment?

[@prairrie]

I think this is spot on, unusual attention on some things . I offered my hoarder brother a jar of homemade jam then said or two ? I said 'maybe you won't eat two' , but he said 'two is better then one' , which was telling . No h s not creative he's very lazy , but is a retired electronics engineer,. So love detail and info. He hides what he's really like . But I know he likes 'finding out', so a 'ham radio' where no info given but plenty received .

[@luxprotegit]

Having witnessed the onset of my sister-in-law's hoarding disorder, I strongly believe, that hoarding is some kind of adjustment disorder. People prefer objects over people because they seem more reliable and are less likely to get lost. A family member/friend could be gone tomorrow, leave you, or pass away, an object, however, seems more consistent and secure to them. The root cause of hoarding disease are a deep feeling of insecurity (in a world that cannot be controlled), anxiety and the misinterpretation that you need objects to create safety.

[@terririmmer4706]

I have a friend who's a really bad hoarder. And has been for years. He couldn't get out of his apt. if there was a fire.

[@Offensive_Username]

Capitalistic consumerists collect expensive sneakers instead of donating them, hoarders collect cheap bottle caps. What's worse?

[@lauralam105]

Offensive Username neither is worse; both want more than is needed; neither is able to live with boundaries. It’s not wrong to have money, collections, things. But it’s not good when it interferes with any aspect of your health and never good to dislike a person for it, either.

[@laurajane4806]

I know 3 hoarders. One selfishly rushes to get the stuff not sold at the auction house. it's nice stuff and he must be the first to get it. He then drives it home, dumps it into the large pile of other items "too nice to leave behind' and the items are destroyed by the weather. The second one i know owns several properties together and rents them to people who have nowhere else to go. The people then live with all of her stuff in their closets, mosquitoes so bad they can't go outside and a horrible sewage smell. The 3rd one keeps broken items stuffed into several storage units and will attack a person like a rabid dog it they dare touch any of it.

[@joyfullwords]

If I understand what you said correctly, the way hoarders process information is different to how most of us do it. What is your opinion on one big cause being not to be able to let go? The way I see it, hoarders are not able to let go of anything and that starts the hoarding behaviour. Ad the way of giving items value seems to be an "excuse" or a consequence. Not wanting to let go of anything, because even this bottle cap starts to be beautiful to them if they just look at it hard and long enough.

[@ADreamBee4618]

Joyfullness Hoarding is due to them hoarding difficult or traumatic MENTAL experiences, and hoarding is a PHYSICAL manifestation of that. When we throw things away, they get so upset because they have not finished processing or given their memories a proper goodbye.

[@cocorico128]

love the china cabinet behind him

[@speedygonzales4707]

Ah yes but he is a collector not a hoarder (hehe ; )

[@andrewqazxsw]

How often does he use that? He probably doesn't need it , lets throw it away

[@VR-mz3fq]

I don't know... looks a little empty to me

[@Jenny1954]

Ralph, you're too OBSERVATIONAL!!!! That's a HOARDING attribute!!

[@cocorico128]

@@Jenny1954 is it? can you elaborate i've never heard that.

[@Fururu333]

Holy fuck this describes me to a T. Never before I’ve heard my mind explained better than this.

[@avanellehansen4525]

I file vertically. New on top older toward bottom

[@pheart2381]

I have a slightly different problem. My mum hoards and collects. When it becomes necessary to throw something out she collects all the items she should be throwing away in bags and when she visits she hands it(and the responsibility for it)onto me,sometimes up to 5 carrier bags full of old books,clothes,ornaments etc). When I throw it out or give it to a charity shop she gets cross or teary eyed,and does her best to make me feel guilty. Its really spoiling our relationship,and I tell her again again and again not to bring bags of stuff up. I try to be kind but often end up getting cross. Its the guilt trip aspect that really annoys me. It almost feels passive/aggressive,like she is getting me to feel shame for disposing of stuff that is her responsability. I would welcome any advice.

[@thecurrentmoment]

Hmmm...I feel that I have dealt with guilt trips for various things. All I can offer is to either ignore it or set clear conditions beforehand. You can still get rid of stuff for her (which might be necessary, so I'd keep that going) but if you have clearly said what you will do and set the expectations, then if she gets upset that is on her. You don't ha e to make it her problem. I have noticed that I used to feel responsible for my parents being upset if it appeared to be because of what I did, but at some point I realised it was their problem not mine but I felt responsible because of an unhealthy attachment to then, basically I felt like I needed them to be happy, but I actually couldn't control that. When I got sick of guilt trips/disappointing them I tried to set expectations but it didn't help anyway. That's when I realised it was their problem they were upset (because they could have predicted the outcome) and I didn't have to make it mine. Just treat them like children, because that's sort of what is going on, they are acting immature and not being responsible

[@pheart2381]

@@thecurrentmoment thanks,that is helpful.

[@ceilconstante7813]

interesting theroy. But I don't believe it! I come from a hoarder family. Everyone except me and my Dad! Mother, older sister, older brother and younger brother. Although younger brothers' wife seemed to correct it in him. He hasn't been a hoarder for 20 yrs since marriage. I have ADD and am the creative artistic one. The others are analytical. I literally get sick being in the mess. It's hard to tune it out. It's frustrating trying to prepare food or even take a shower! It takes two days after going to my own tidy minimal space to recover from visiting. I love them dearly, just can't be in an unfunctional cluttered space for long.

[@gabrielaburcea5734]

Very good video. Thank you

[@afoxcatartvideos4877]

I can relate to this. But i don't have the condition. When i see sn object, i just imagen all 3:59 the things i turn into. I used to keep slot of cardboards for future creation. I ended having too much cardboards that my mom throw away without me knowing. There was a time my mom was throwing away dishes. I feel so hurt, i just want to keep them because they have alot of memories. They we're not old. I feel better when they throw things put of sight. I feel alot of pain...

[@SimpleStephy]

My child father and his family have this problem, I'm trying so hard to help them but it's so difficult because I feel I'm on a different planet when I'm around them. Sigh

[@raajmata]

Hi thanks .. this let me make the lessest use of materials in my life. We can live in few materials too..

[@nataliapalovcak9379]

My sister in law is a hoarder. It's sad because her three daughter's, teens now have been forced to live in fifthly conditions. This Tuesdays after two years of building up trust with her I cleaned out a room that was rat infested and filled from ceiling to floor with stuff. When she came home and saw the room cleaned she lost it!!! I told her it was a safety issue and that room was infested with rats. She is out of control mad and is threatening my brother and has banned me from visiting ever again. Any advise? Child services came out three times and did nothing.

[@joeybullington2852]

Some have attachments to all objects. They are all seen as individuals. That one item if destroyed will never be again. Normal thinking is i will get another one. It's also a thought that that object served me so it shouldn't be destroied( thrown away). It's also a thought it may have awareness and feelings.

[@dplj4428]

From the general to the specific. Away from this synthetic analysis of an end result to this fact: Hoarding is at its root the physical build up of emotional pain. Unlike "clutter" which might be a busy person or family always busy, taking care of pets, going to activities. Hoarding manifests or is a manifestation of Post Traumatic Stress. Something extremely bad happened and the person doesn't know how to cope. Major depression blooms from a single thing like being robbed, violated, fired, divorced, guilt or shame, etc. This analysis seems like an observance of symptoms, a so-called scientific observance. It's like when archaeologists see so-called "amazingly realistic" anatomical features in cave drawings: just maybe that artist was a normal ancient person who observed and drew the nature around them, a plein air painter/drawer. Sure, Oh yes, there are probably other reasons people hoard such as brain energy or drug addiction or fear causes them that they may not be able to get groceries next month because they see society teeters towards collapse. - Bottom line analytics without including trauma or injury is like an automatic mechanic taking a car for a drive without checking the fuel gauge is at 2 clicks from (E)mpty. - Do not ignore the human, the emotion that causes clutter to morph into hoarding. In order to become more distressed. They now believe they cannot correct it. Which of 1,000 piles should they move first? How about consider they might find under the one thing they moved? Fear overwhelms and so it goes on and on. Avoiding the emotional or brain injury? The analysis ignores the human. A faulty conclusion is the result.