Charity shop wedding dress: He took his Bride to Oxfam for her wedding dress! | Don't Tell the Bride

[@NH-tb2sm]

The shop owner was amazing. Such a nice guy. I hope she made a big donation

[@icturner23]

Not owner. It was a charity shop. He was probably not even an employee, but a volunteer. (I used to volunteer in Oxfam and the only employees were regional/national. Everyone in the shop was a volunteer.)

[@carolannpacificadam1944]

Top kudos to the manager!!!!!!!

[@brookelynnwu8016]

He cares more about her happiness than the husband. Makes you question them.

[@emiliawilson4378]

​@@brookelynnwu8016the husband was obviously devastated when he heard her say she hates it. His style just differed from what she likes but his heartw as in the right place. The hendo also shows that he wants her to have a fabulous time and be happy. I've seen a lot of this show and this dude is definitely one of the super rare really good ones.

[@bethbrence3540]

He was wonderful!

[@tipoftheicebergicy6448]

The man in the shop was excellent. His tone and generosity saved the day. He showed such empathy and clearly understood how important the dress is to a bride. Well done sir. Bride looked lovely 🥰

[@tina.a.59]

Mybe it would be better she married the shop owner 😊😉

[@shellykevinbaumgartner7612]

The shop owner was so kind. ❤

[@icturner23]

He wasn't the owner. It was a charity shop. He was likely not even a paid employee.

[@helennelson959]

What a lovely kind man to exchange it. She looked absolutely stunning in the second one.

[@fly89]

charity shop keepers in UK are mostly volunteers and very kind. once i was looking for a toddler car seat. because nephew would fly in from malaga with her 2 years boy. the charity shop in edinburg didn’t have it, but asked other shop, and got it for us. We used it for 2 days and return it for others. love it.

[@esmeraldaegberts1385]

Love the shop owner. He really did a great job by helping her. Hopefully the ladies were grateful at the end towards him.

[@sassytbc7923]

I got married over 40 years ago, and I still have the dress. My husband passed away, so the dress is really a special momento of our day.

[@barbaracook7142]

❤ love to you

[@SDaulton]

Loved the man in the shop. Well done sir!

[@aventurasimbolos1725]

The man in the shop is a beautiful person: he managed to find the perfect dress for Jackie. She looked stunning.

[@georgiannav]

When my brother got married nearly forty years ago, his bride wore what I recall was a second hand dress she found in a consignment shop. It made sense at the time and it was lovely on her. There are shops specializing in never-worn wedding gowns which are offered for any number of reasons and one could do worse (not to mention spend more) on a one-time purchase. Hats off to the brides who shared their dreams with the rest of us. P.S. my brother and sister-in-law are still married.

[@happyandblessed5640]

I would have ditched the husband to be and asked the shopkeeped if he was single. LOL 😂😂😂

[@cremebrulee4759]

The shop owner was so nice, and the money goes to an excellent cause.

[@georginacat7667]

As well as paying the ceos

[@catladyfromky4142]

That is where I would like to get my wedding dress. It is for one day, it is cheap, and it is for charity. The dress is just a vehicle for the wedding. Win-win.

[@moosehead1183]

You're so right on. A lucky man will marry you. The money could be spent on so many more important things to begin a life together... than a dress

[@bernicerogers2383]

Go for it! I bought a lovely wedding dress from Oxfam.

[@moosehead1183]

@@bernicerogers2383 and I'll bet you looked every bit as good as any other bride..smart woman

[@cyflym11]

Exactly. I didn't have a wedding dress but if I had I'd have been quite happy with a charity shop one as long as it was a style that suited me. It's only been worn once, if that, and it's such a waste to spend a fortune and then leave a dress sitting in a box under the bed forever after. Nothing wrong with recycling and who's going to know?

[@Glenys8080]

Facts: my wedding dress cost me £50

[@adwoamk8918]

I didn't know Oxfam have bridal shops, that's pretty cool!

[@clairebarry8030]

I think it's a great idea, but I'm a bit of a greenie 💚. I totally understand it's not everyone's cup of tea getting second hand stuff so I can imagine it would be quite upsetting if it's not your thing 😢

[@heididepotter8136]

I would not mind an Oxfam dress. But that first one was awfull She looks way better in the seccond one. Bless this gentleman/shopowner

[@nicolajackson7992]

I really liked the first one but the second suited her more

[@designsonyouinparis]

This says a great deal about the groom. Preview of future things to come. The Bride seems like such a beautiful and special lady- two great kids- testament to her- I don’t know about this groom. He should have put his future Bride front and center and taken account her feelings first and foremost. There was not much thought, love or care placed in his decision- not so much the $$$$, I got the impression, he did not care- added the skating Hen party at a low class venue. He did not prioritize her needs and desires- She must love him very much. Hope he will make all this up to her and bring her happiness- be a great husband love, cherish and take great care of her. ❤❤❤❤❤

[@susanc4622]

I wonder if she was desperate to be married. He seems a really horrible person.

[@MsJubjubbird]

He seems like a nice guy who puts value on experiences rather than material things. Great that he wants to spend money on the party rather than the dress that will be put in the bac of the closet after one day and great they he's giving money to charity

[@kathyn8780]

nothing wrong with Oxfam, great idea to provide affordable dresses, whilst recycling and raising funds for charity

[@ThEhObBiT1959]

I thought the dress was lovely, someone paid a lot of money for that. Her daughter wasn’t helping matters with their comments through out.

[@JaneA544]

It did nothing for her, and it didn't fit. The groom didn't think enough of his bride to consider what she might like as opposed to a party? He'd be left at the alter if it were me

[@jaynechew166]

Agreed

[@sandrakallam2761]

Both dresses were lovely! I wished there had been a shop like this for my dress choice.

[@marywinslow5808]

I like the way first dress fit her.

[@Zlervo]

I love the shop owner. He showed such sensitivity. I don't blame her for not liking the original dress. It was too plain.

[@lauralou9940]

I plan to donate my mother's very expensive dress from her 1956 wedding later this year. Only my sister wore it. It won't fit anyone else. It is too nice to sit in a box. A lovely friend allowed me to borrow hers for my wedding. I was so grateful.

[@nibs8837]

So... The groom doesn't want to *SAVE* money - he just doesn't want to spend money on his *BRIDE* - he wants to put all the money into a bigger *PARTY* ... That *IS* what he said. This isn't about how much money is spent, or where the dress came from, it is more about he doesn't love her enough to care that she is happy, as long as he can impress everyone with the grand party he is throwing. That is not a particularly strong foundation for building a life together.

[@camellia8625]

Exactly

[@MsJubjubbird]

Well the party everyone can enjoy. The dress is a piece of fabric and most of the expense comes from what label it is

[@nibs8837]

@@MsJubjubbird - I understand what you are saying - but this is not just "a party", it is a wedding - a celebration of two people joining together. He is willing to sacrifice her feelings for his own enjoyment at a *joint* celebration. If he's not concerned with her feelings about the wedding - what *will* he be willing to consider her feelings about?

[@MsJubjubbird]

@@nibs8837 Not just his enjoyment but the enjoyment of all their friends and family and herself as well. The dress she'll admire for five minutes when she's getting ready, forget about it when the event starts and then put it in the back of her closet for ten years. He is about memories over the materialistic and the collective good.

[@nibs8837]

@@MsJubjubbird , it isn't about the dress, or how expensive it is, it's about how he handles getting what he wants (without bothering to ask her what she wants). He has decided for both of them - I guess, being the man, he is allowed to make unilateral decisions that affect them both. Organizing a wedding is a wonderful way to discover how your partner thinks, how much they respect you, and how they are going to handle decisions going forward in your relationship.

[@gillianlaing1073]

I shop in charity shops all the time,my wedding dress was second hand, it's the person your marrying that's most important

[@IamPINKIEDaniels]

Second hand wedding dresses are normal imo, it’s the fact that these guys don’t even try. My wedding dress cost $300 and it was beautiful

[@Widdekuu91]

If you decide it, that is no problem. if you are forced to by your loved one, that is not good.

[@TANISHABASU]

@@Widdekuu91 Exactly!

[@krism.9363]

If it was her choice, that’s one thing. This guy turned a very special part of the day and completely cheapened it for her & probably made her feel like someone’s secondhand trash. How horrible!

[@MsAdalat]

Not one of these brides have ever stopped to understand that they’re about to tie the knot with a man who barely has enough money to pay his own bills, has no consideration for your feelings and in most episodes the man just doesn’t care.

[@nikkid4890]

Yes! You are so right. To be this was a sure sign of what is about to come later. She definitely doesn’t matter enough to him.

[@Adagio1.62]

You are right, he is just 'not that in to her'. Big red flags.

[@maxthecat14]

@@Adagio1.62 Why, because he sent her to a charity shop for her dress? what's wrong with that? The shop my daughter volunteered in, had a whole shop full of wedding dresses donated brand new from a bridal shop that was closing down. anyone who bought one got an absolute bargain as they were selling £2,000 dresses for £200.

[@helend222]

What? Save money on a dress and spend savings on beer?

[@LillianCenteno-u3r]

My friend Jennifer did not want to spend a lot of money on her dress. So she paid $99 plus $250 for the under circle. So for $350 she got a new unused dress at Davis Bridal. As soon as the reception was over, she got back into jeans. Now she lives in Colorado with her husband and 2 kids. Bridal blow-outs are a good place to get a new and cheap dress.

[@kelleykidder7787]

My wedding dress was an older sample from a shop going out of business. I loved it.

[@CrypticCharm]

just to make it clear, that dresses in Oxfan are not pre-used, or second-hand. they are normally samples and donated by wedding shops when they get new stock in. so they are New, just at a reduced price. So i know she may not be happy but full respect to the guy, i can get why she's upset, but it is a new dress and you just know if it was in a high-end shop she would have loved it Also in a world of disposal fashion, it's so dismissal to those who have brought their dresses this way, i mean it wasn't intentional.but she did come across as "class shaming" i do prefer the first dress, but she did look good in both

[@ChrisAndCats]

I think that's unfair towards her. With the amount of money the groom is handed for the wedding - around 10k if I recall - to spend just £160 on a charity shop dress said to her she was only good enough for a bottom priced, possibly used, dress. It may have been new but it equally may not be, but most women want at least to go for a bridal shop experience with the welcome, maybe a glass of champagne or similar, even if it's the cheapest one in there. It's the whole experience, not just the dress itself. He essentially told her she's worth next to nothing to him.

[@dietotaku]

@@ChrisAndCats there was zero difference between that dress and one she could've gotten at confetti & lace for 10x the price. i got my dress online for $125, the exact same dress retailed in a bridal boutique for $900. i would've totally shopped used dresses if i could get something nice for bottom dollar, what on earth is wrong with saving money when you're not sacrificing quality?

[@moosehead1183]

@@dietotaku yes, you're right. I have a mother in law who thinks the more you spend on an item, the better it is...even when you can get the exact same for 5 times less in another shop.

[@rosameijering5161]

@@moosehead1183 oh wow that is a problem

[@icturner23]

They can be second-hand as well. When people donate wedding dresses, Oxfam doesn't just randomly throw them out of the window.

[@JohannaBarnard-sl4jb]

She's right, the dress he chose for her did nothing... it just looked like a dress you would wear to church or something. Nothing that made her stand out as "the bride". There was no grace or emotion to the dress (if you know what I mean)

[@scarlettthebrave5854]

The point to this is NOT that it was from a charity shop but the grooms lack of care or understanding for his bride. He picked the first dress. There were dozens to choose from. He was a red flag

[@juliah4359]

The dress she finally chose suited her really well and to me it was one of the most beautiful dresses that I have seen on this show so far. However, it is understandable that she was upset. It is something different if groom and bride are on the same page regarding sustainability or other things they want to lay their emphasis on, so that the groom can confidently choose a dress at Oxfam and would really make her happy. Another thing is the lack of love he puts in picking the dress.

[@kellyvandijk3269]

You don’t need a partner to be happy

[@Lazydaisy646]

No one said you do, these people want to be together so thats fine.

[@lucyquinnell3204]

She looked stunning in the first dress :) It was really flattering and graceful. 2nd dress great, too, but I love the first one.

[@nicolajackson7992]

Same :)

[@nicolajackson7992]

Same:)

[@velmacoffey3763]

She looked amazing

[@angelawilliams4239]

What do people expect? They know exactly how this show goes,it happens every episode. So why do they get upset with dress choice,etc? It’s both their choice to go on this show.

[@barbfrank917]

A thousand times 💯

[@fly89]

for the drama.

[@michelleboldan5]

Does she not know he’s a cheapskate?

[@kathrynsawyer2204]

I paid $5 for the material to make my bridal gown in 1980. I would have been thrilled to find one at a thrift shop. Our entire wedding cost $150. I made my cake and cooked the meal for after. It just seems foolish to me to spend excessive money on one day when you are just starting your lives together.

[@doodles3075]

There are some nice wedding dresses in charity shops, the reason being we don't have space to put them once our wedding day is over.... That said, the fact he spent so much on venues and not her dress, considering all eyes are on the bride is a warning sign of things to come

[@TheSuwanneeMama]

I’m 58 and would go there first!

[@SimpleTon-ej5ig]

I understand both sides, but I think he should have put aside his feelings about the money, the only reason I say that is that, is because women tend to put a lot of value on their wedding day, while some of us don't get it, I can understand it and I'd do what I need to to make my partner happy - it's only one day after all. The shop owner was so lovely though. He was so tentative and helpful.

[@MsJubjubbird]

He wanted to spend money on the party, which everyone will enjoy and have memories from. She'll wear the dress once,, it's a piece of fabric and the price tag is just because it's a wedding dress by a designer label

[@Carolina2024yt]

If was getting married, my fiancée has been given the money, and he decides to save money with my dress... I'd quit as fast as I can.

[@ElledieWildAndFree]

There are charity shops around here that have got bridal departments

[@mariamartinusz9699]

It's beyond me, why anyone would want to make a show, where the groom picks the dress for the bride. Tragedy guaranteed.

[@cyflym11]

It may not have been the style they were thinking of but I don't think the dress was tacky. I've seen dresses on these shows costing thousands that looked a lot more tacky than that! They came across as snobs to be honest, especially with the "charity" said through gritted teeth at the end. If the dress had been in a posh boutique they'd have been saying how nice it was.

[@iamjustsaying4787]

As an American, it’s hilarious that he keeps telling this woman to calm him down. I mean, how is she not calm?

[@itsmecp]

If my fiancé did that I'd be so happy because it would show how much he knows me and that he actually listened to me. It is a different story if you haven't talked about not wanting to spend a fortune on the dress though.

[@carriesmith3421]

A wedding dress is the symbol of the elevated status of how the bride feels like royalty and endowed with luxurious fabrics. it’s the most memorable part of the day. All eyes on her in awe. It represents the wealth of the family and should make the bride feel regal. The symbol of her dream come true. That’s why they get the “ feeling or moment” when it’s the one. That’s why there is a billion dollar industry and so many bridal shops and tv shows and magazines. There is a science to finding the right dress for each bride. I think this idea of the man choosing the dress is absolutely bonkers. Is this how he thinks of her? He obviously does not think she is worth the best dress of their lives together. Even for 1 thousand dollars. When he was given money by the show. No, for him it’s a second hand store. She obviously is not happy. So very Sad! No I don’t like the men choosing the dress. It is the one thing the bride should be responsible for in this series. I find it so hard to watch this show anymore. Just can’t.

[@saltdoll5288]

I wonder, if she had first seen the dress-not in the charity shop, but at her house or something -if she’d have liked it more.

[@susanc4622]

It was very plain and she apparently had seen a lace one she liked.

[@GradKat]

My daughter got a fabulous wedding dress for £200 from Monsoon in the U.K. This was around 10 years ago.

[@kmccarthy3760]

The one you tried on was better so I hope it all went well for you in the end as your beautiful indeed. Thankyou

[@elizabethmcnamara6548]

What do people have against oxfam? I thought both dresses was nice.

[@paulinesears796]

My wedding dress was from a charity shop. I paid 10 dollars for it. It fit me perfectly, was cream colored satin and embroidered with mini pearls, off the shouldee style with a beautiful long train. Everyone loved it so much and nobody needed to know where it came from.

[@sharondavis168]

He should take the money saved and get his teeth fixed before the wedding

[@dietotaku]

it's wild to me that she's so upset about an oxfam dress when there was just a SYTTD episode where the bride specifically went to oxfam in order to save money & shop sustainably and they found a 1960s luxury designer brand dress for £100. like a £3000 dress for £100 but this bride's like "EW CHARITY SHOP."

[@deborahgeller2764]

IF it is the woman's choice to make the purchase at that shop it is entirely different than- oh here you go I decided you are worth this much. It's not the shop that was the issue it was the fact not only did he choose the shop but no consideration to her at all as to what she would want. It was a hit and run purchase as long as it was cheap. This is very indicative of what lies ahead. I've been there done that done with it. It's not bratty or snobbish it's setting boundaries on being valued. Trust me- I lived that out with a naracist who kept lowering the bar on my worth. You save money without devaluing someone

[@NH-tb2sm]

And she's 51years old. You would think at age 51 she'd be smarter than this.

[@HOPE.TheresNoPlaceLikeHomeClub]

Does anyone know which episode this is? I'd like to see what he spent the rest of the money on.

[@bluebelle8823]

Season 11 Epoisode 5. Jacquie and Darren. Oliver is Jacquie's son, that they dress shopped without him astounds me. But oh my god his reaction at the ceremony.

[@yvonnec6449]

The bridal party really let themselves down with a bang in the charity shop.

[@bernadettecallinan4139]

Where can we watch whole episode

[@hurricanejaney]

the final dress is gorgeous and the detailing suits her features so much better. the previous one hung off her shoulders too much, and i don’t know that i’d call it “cheap,” but it definitely screams “i picked the first wedding dress i saw.” i do have to wonder whether the dress drama is somewhat manufactured, because if you agree to be on the show, surely there’s some amount of time before filming starts to talk about intentions for avenue/clothing. the dress can still be a surprise even if the groom already has an idea of what the bride would want as far as material, cut and accents go.

[@lizrigby-jones3700]

Why spend thousands on a dress for one day, that money could go towards a deposit on purchasing a house. I was very lucky, my mother inlaw made my dress and accessories, we had our reception in her beautiful garden and family brought a plate of food along with making extra buffet bits and pieces, my father inlaw bought the booze and One of my sister inlaws made a beautiful cake and the other bridesmaid dresses. I would not have minded a charity shop dress if i liked it. By the way, the shop manager was so kind and calmed the bride down, he was fantastic! Wish the bride a happy future. ❤

[@xxxx-qo9dh]

The dress he picked 🤢 did he think he is marrying his grandma?

[@Weissguys6]

Why did people even go on this show? Every episode seems the same.

[@lindaed3594]

She couldn’t even decide what suited her; didn’t have a style in mind…standing there surrounded by garments…so how was her husband to be supposed to get it right anyway? Really great the Oxfam shop was so well stocked & very kindly let her swap. I don’t think he would have made her stick to the same price range tho. Probably had a choice of any dress there. Good on him

[@susanc4622]

Oh come, on, she was like that because she was upset!

[@laurieallen8040]

The dress is lovely.

[@gothicyid]

In my culture lucky it's normal to wear used wedding gowns and not spend a fortune for new dresses you wear once.

[@j.103]

I know this has been awhile but she doesn’t seem like a very nice person. I got married 54 years ago….both my parents had already passed away and my husband was on levy to go to Thailand. Of course this was during the Viet Nam war . I was 18 and my husband was 21……I paid for what I could afford….my dress was $25.00 in a shop closing down. It was beautiful and I still have it. People get way to caught up in the big fancy weddings, they really should worry about the marriage more.

[@susanc4622]

The way the dress was chosen by the groom was horrible. This wasn't a young couple just starting out and he didn't consider how she would feel walking into a shop selling really cheap gowns.

[@diannabooth6901]

Is that a rinestone belt the man is telling Jackie it’s a choker necklace?

[@rubberd0512]

That shop owner was amazing. That first dress was matronly and did absolutely nothing for her, it didn’t even fit correctly 😊

[@kristenkaz3080]

The first dress was utterly hideous.

[@SC-tl3px]

He must be loaded, Oxfam is the most expensive charity shop. 😄

[@gdaygday1209]

TO BE HONEST, SHE LOOKED BETTER IN THE FIRST DRESS! 😳🥺

[@alisonp133]

I agree. It suits her age better.

[@Jsa460]

I'd agree except the shoulder straps didn't sit right making it look weird on her. The second dress fitted better.

[@drrush3421]

The first dress was lovely

[@carinevalery3053]

Le gérant est vraiment très gentil et prévenant ! il a sauvé le mariage : "just calm down"...

[@mzdeeify]

I dont see the big problem with getting a wefding dress from a charity shop, its only been worn for a few hours and the person would have spent hundreds or thousands on it!! Im 1000% happier paying £200 lol

[@chayalahthanaya9920]

It’s a NO for me..

[@FuzzyVixen]

As if watching this in the gym out the window I can see the old skate building 😂

[@tinajohansson4888]

I think that the idea of charityshopping a weddingdress is quite smart. Why spend so much money on a dress that you only will wear once?

[@virginiamosier9115]

The first dress didn’t even fit.

[@aureliedv90]

I bought a bright new one, my mom pick And two handy one ; I chose myself all three very different

[@Felicity2121]

The first one looked better. Then again I thought she was a bloke.

[@weemaggie]

Both dresses were ghastly. Poor lady😢

[@krism.9363]

I’d be furious if my fiancé bought me a dress from a charity shop! It shows what he thinks of her! He definitely doesn’t think she’s a deserving queen or even a princess. How horrific an experience!

[@kelly26b]

Nothing wrong with Charity Shops. 75% of those dresses probably never ever been worn. Lovely helpful and empathic man in the shop saved the day! Also the dress that the groom picked was nicer and much more classy than the one she did

[@emeraldkimble7602]

The alterations can be just as ecpensive

[@nataliescott2261]

Maybe 3rd wedding will be better

[@jeanhalliday4646]

What a horrible groom, i would have refused to marry him.

[@denisewolf4972]

Why not?

[@annedaniels2955]

I can't understand why they go on programme like this and complain when they arn't happy. I must admit the first dress didn't do a lot for her but the man in the shop was so kind. I love charity shops and the wedding dresses are only used once (what's not to love). Bargain.

[@CathyDoherty-hr4mx]

Why don't the ladies just say no if things aren't right? If he only spends that little on her that is what he thinks of her.

[@danielnascimento6300]

They needed Charity Shop Sue and good pina colada.

[@CathyDoherty-hr4mx]

Of course they have a drink.

[@ksluppino]

These grooms are awful

[@gardengate4253]

I like the 1st dress the groom picked.

[@Adoptpets833]

Why don't men realize how important the dress is to a woman?!

[@icturner23]

Lots of things are important to lots of people, but that doesn't justify spending a thousand pounds on them. You sound very entitled.

[@mayapucuka5306]

​@@icturner23 thousand pounds is very appropriate for the most important dress of your life. There's nothing entitled about wanting that. Finding out that the guy you are about to marry thinks you are only worth a dress from a charity shop must be very sad

[@Veganallvegan]

Plenty of people spend thousands of pounds on a dress they wear for less than 8 hours and still end up getting divorced . The dress she picked in the end was for a woman in her 20s and looked totally wrong

[@mn4169]

there were a lot of really nice dresses to choose from. The should have gone for coffee and returned to the shop, with an idea of what she likes.

[@donnaoshiro6896]

I thought the first dress was lovely. The second dress was a bit more typical. Seen it too many times. If these women are so particular, why do they agree to someone else choosing their wedding gown. And, why do they speak so badly so quickly of a person who is trying to please them.

[@lydialily846]

Have they never watched this show !!

[@eringemini7091]

That dress was gorgeous on Jackie! She may not have done as well buying a brand NEW dress!:😊

[@carolannpacificadam1944]

Would it be ok to ask what an Oxford dress means

[@jandoel]

Oxfam is a charity organization that uses profits from their charity shops to help fight poverty

[@cyflym11]

The name comes from Oxford Committee for Famine Relief. It started as a wartime effort but has since expanded into a global organisation.

[@Witchfoot.Incorporated]

I’m down for a charity shop dress

[@myrticearonson996]

Is this the Brit of the show in America for Cheapskates?

[@Momtopreemie]

They’re missing the point of getting married.

[@mariajoannou9936]

A ball gown from debenhams would have been cheaper and more elegant fgs