Why An Ex Reaches Out And Then Disappears

Рет қаралды 34,396

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 64

@cmrandall9151 2 жыл бұрын

Getting emotionally attached to an avoidant person is a recipe for constant pain. With these types of people you need to be like a cat. Enjoy them when they're around but don't miss them when they're gone.

@Katarinalaan 2 жыл бұрын

Theya r like cats. Anxious is like dogs. When Cat ans dogs go allong eachother.. 😂

@harrynuggs670 Жыл бұрын

Yeah great advice

@13sprintuser 10 ай бұрын

Funny you say cat... because avoidants are exactly like cats. Easily startled and it has to be THEIR way.

@eggs3015 2 жыл бұрын

Chris took 12 minutes and 23 seconds to tell me that my ex has issues & trying to make a relationship work is pointless 😂

@valentine-p2r 3 ай бұрын

Jeez..let them have their precious independence and WALK AWAY!

@MarilynFinland 7 ай бұрын

They reach out because they're selfish and egoistic. Do not respond. I don't know how many times I have distanced myself from my ex and tried to move on. Just as I've started to feel better he crawls back as if he has some kind of a radar. He pretends to care just enough to stir me up emotionally after which he starts acting as if I am needy! I am so DONE with this bullshit. We need to move on, people. We deserve better than that.

@spiritualqueen3423 19 күн бұрын

Definitely felt especially when you want to believe them, but it’s just a ego boost to them. I’m done giving any of my precious time to someone that’s just gonna leave me again.

@atskhan3874 2 жыл бұрын

If it was meant to be we wouldn't be here. End of the story.

@cheedarcheese5811 2 жыл бұрын

nowadays, my ex kept texting me nonstop after breaking up with me about 2 weeks ago. during the first week, i wanted to get back w him and did no contact. yes they alwaydndo come back after that. but im kinda over him and got sick of the constant texts. so i said insults that had been harbouring in my heart for weeks. gosh its so satisfying 🤣 i know people who watch this wanna get their ex back, but remember the reason why they left. its not worth it if they havent changed at all. live your life, do the things you have always wanted to do and glow up for you ❤️

@OiVinn-eq1ml 4 ай бұрын

And this is the same individual that would say they don’t okay play games

@davidallahgod3217 4 ай бұрын

Ex checks in, and then checks out like a hotel

@rakastellar8955 3 ай бұрын

My ex reached out to me after NINE years, to apologize, refer to himself as an “avoidant” and even speak to me on the phone for a lengthy period of time, telling me he missed me, chatting with me for exactly 48 hours and then ghosting me completely for no reason

@dennischajkowski7931 2 жыл бұрын

I just experienced that exact cycle. After 2 months of no contact, my ex reached out and asked how i was doing if im still working abroad. I answered and we wrote back and forth the whole night about out time apart from each other, and so on. And the next day i was blocked again.

@emilyevelynweber3346 7 ай бұрын

Same here

@dennischajkowski7931 7 ай бұрын

@@emilyevelynweber3346 😒

@GodiZreal Ай бұрын

Easy, so when the avoidant reaches out I will switch roles with them and become the avoidant. I like my independence way more than being breadcrumbed. I will prolong that phantom ex phase by taking forever to reply to their text message. Eventually they will feel the same hurt they made me feel and I will be dating other people at the same time.

@dmitryisaev5955 Жыл бұрын

This is really very sick how avoidants operate. Really… One can go mad having all this poured on his mind. How do they get married at all, if their tipping point is taking more responsibility upon themselves?

@kikiwi7073 3 ай бұрын

It baffles me how the exact moment i move on, they come back. Its hallened 5 times, making me feel like they just know. And as soon as i let my guard down, im back into the cycle of him distancing and me chasing after him. The scary thing is how sly he is with it, he knows how to get to me

@lemagloria 2 жыл бұрын

my ex reached out to me just to tell me to move on (while i haven't contacted him for a long time in order to heal) i got mad and told him that we broke up so what is he talkign about and he ignored me ,at this point i just told myself "is that really how you portrayed your soulmate? non" so just decide to give up on him and date out with a guy who woul treat me better even if i still have feeling for my ex,nobody need to be treated like crap.

@bluemoonrpg326 4 ай бұрын

They aren’t avoidant. They are just players and when they find someone they see better than you they leave you like nothing. She already put it in as it slipped out. These modern women are for the streets. Don’t chase or take a single one seriously

@kikiwi7073 3 ай бұрын

I legit felt like i was going to go insane after he broke up with me for a 5th time. It is absolutely disturbing and gross what they do to your mind if you really want to love them. These people need therapy. Its sick that ive given him the opportunity to do me wrong so many times. I wish i could hate him

@mbrisker 10 ай бұрын

My avoidant brutally discarded me Came back 2 years later on the heels of her latest breakup with a vague apology. Had dinner once, feigned enthusiasm then a bunch of rude or superficial texts. Feels like she reached out to me and then a couple weeks later met somebody ultimately, I just think she’s crazy.

@DrPatrickKingsep 2 жыл бұрын

Hi Chris - great video topic! Reaching out and then retreating again.... it can be confusing right? I am a Clinical Psychologist in Australia and hear this often

@problemslayer3538 2 ай бұрын

This is an avoidant disappearing only not an anxious one

@bryanth0ny 2 ай бұрын

Let’s see if Nester keeps his word of wanting to “talk to me”

@ooakRAREGEM Жыл бұрын

This makes so much sense, thank you!!

@Mooncat222 2 жыл бұрын

I started off avoidant then tables reversed and he became avoidant - so I’ve managed to work on being secure and feel much stronger and won’t go back if he reaches out otherwise same old story - best to break away unless he works on his stuff if not the it’s Good bye - unlikely though he would work on his stuff

@ildikoegervari8664 2 жыл бұрын

Amazing video, thank you! It helps me to understand quite a lot people.

@charmcroy1johnson688 Жыл бұрын

This video helped a lot

@nheeynheey1781 5 ай бұрын

I blocked him, 8 days ago, we had no way to contact each other, after 8 days, he went to my place but I said i am ok and happy, he said TAKE CARE ALWAYS, I LOVE YOU. then he went home.. I wonder whats next

@rebeccajohnson5658 2 жыл бұрын

Advoidant needs Space and Time distance and independent. Independent aka single.

@13sprintuser 10 ай бұрын

did yours come back?

@rebeccajohnson5658 10 ай бұрын

@@13sprintuser mine came back and the re disappeared. :) :(

@13sprintuser 10 ай бұрын

@@rebeccajohnson5658 ugh i'm sorry. How long did they come back for? Is there still hope you guys will get back together or are you totally over him?

@lindamgraves 2 жыл бұрын

Hi Chris, would it be possible if you can do a series or a video about short-term relationships? I recently got out of a short-term relationship and I'm feeling somewhat hung up on it than long-term relationship. I would be interested to hear from your point of view or opinion on it. Thanks.

@loria287 2 жыл бұрын

I reached out to my avoidant ex first after 6 months of no contract. She responded initially to the first message then took 41 days to finally respond to the second one. I completely ignored her then she sent a 2 text trying to get a response out of me. It has now been 25 days since I ghosted her. I always wanted her in my life to some capacity but I’ve learned to live without her and her unhealthy ways. Also she lied. The whole year we were together she was in a 4 year relationship with a guy who is constantly cheating on her. I think they are going through another rough patch with him cheating again which is why she sent me 2nd text to use me as a rebound. I don’t think I could be a true phantom ex to her because she was in a long term relationship while we were together. I know if it were me I’d be thinking about my long term partner and still upset about the relationship to truly think of someone who was like a year long fling. We spent a lot of time together though last year. I met her friends and family and spent a lot of time with them too. All of our old memories will constantly be resurfacing on her phone over the next 12 months. So that will be interesting. They are appearing on mine.

@Adelina24244 2 жыл бұрын

She’s bad news, sorry she hurt you that way. Hope you find someone better for you

@tj4787 Жыл бұрын

Sounds like my Da/FA 🙏🏾

@eddycolumbusohio6063 2 жыл бұрын

My ex did this he dumped me because he supposedly lost feelings a week after that I started no contact and he called me once every week for 3 weeks straight then I told him i knew about his rebound because i know hes having something with someone else And I sent him a message saying if u ever wanna fix things you know where I live He didn't replied or nothing its been almost a month since then still no contact from him but I know he is still thinking about me I just know it

@Phantomopery5 2 жыл бұрын

I think it’s best that you keep to yourself for now. It might get worse if you try harder. Let it level out with no contact.

@yahyasheikh137 2 жыл бұрын

So can a person like this ever change and let you in?

@msanonymous704 Жыл бұрын

So what should we do?

@mbrisker 10 ай бұрын

But what if a person only wants to talk about themselves and Recents it if anybody else talks about themselves?

@ashtin7298 2 жыл бұрын

Can you do a video on co-parenting with an ex you are trying to get back?

@Razainthewoods 2 жыл бұрын

This all just happened to me.

@onelife5302 2 жыл бұрын

So how do I end the cycle?

@madlen3015 2 жыл бұрын

Can u do a video about how they reach out, cause i doubt they would send a love Letter 😅

@blackwidow2679 2 жыл бұрын

99% of the time an avoidant reaches out via text. Avoidant hate confrontation and will go out of their way to . . . you got it . . . avoid it. Most will "dip their toe" into the water to see if it's safe. Simply reply "how have you been" and see how it goes. If they want a conversation, keep it light. Some dating coaches tell you to try to nail down a date to see them at this time. Don't do it, They stepped out of their fear to contact you, don't scare them off again. You are dealing with their fears and fear is what controls them. All you can really do at this point is to wait and see how they behave. Are they making an effort to stay in touch or are they texting and disappearing for weeks at a time? You have to make up your mind if you can live with their hot and cold behavior. If an avoidant will not make an effort to change, this will become your normal.

@adoptioncorner1984 2 жыл бұрын

@@blackwidow2679 🙏🤞

@quintykraayenbrink5101 2 жыл бұрын

J broke up with mu bf 2 months ago… reason: i got realt sick and boring because of that…. He has a new girl and im still sick at home… it realy hurts!! He wants to be friends but idk i think its because of guiltiness! Im in no contact but he still reaches out to me once in a while! When i respond he ignores me idk why i realy confused

@quintykraayenbrink5101 2 жыл бұрын

I got diagnosed with cancer and he just wanted to party after the lockdown

@uniquedavenport7232 2 жыл бұрын

@@quintykraayenbrink5101 sorry to hear that sending you love and light. and I understand how you feel,that's also a classic avoidant trait,they distance themselves from you when you need them the most and they blame it on "work"or "being too busy" as a constant excuse...

@WishesandWonder 2 жыл бұрын

@@uniquedavenport7232 my ex told me she is always busy lol. But She texts me very other day or every few days and initiates most of it but disappears mid conversation and she doesn’t ask questions.