Christian Couple is Afraid of 𝙎𝙚𝙭

[@wellthiswasfun]

Scheduling sex as a busy adult is pretty common because that's life. Scheduling sex specifically so you can mentally prepare like it's an obligation, that sounds like coercion.

[@JasmineTea127]

Exactly. Poor Morgan, it's horrifying.

[@xythrial]

Tbf I have to mentally prepare for absolutely every single thing in my life or else I’m mega stressed out

[@rocketlioness]

I mean it's not exactly "scheduling" and more like a tentative plan...like Saturday evening or Sunday morning, etc

[@iLitAfuseiCantStop]

I’ve never “scheduled sex” in my life 😂 Busy or not, that just sounds so odd to me.

[@MyNameHere101]

@@iLitAfuseiCantStop I think it's more along the lines of "hey do you wanna have sum fuk after we go run some errands?" But even beyond that my husband and I do it all the time. He works 12 hours 6 days a week and then has projects on the weekend so there's a lot of "hey do you want to order in on Tuesday instead of cooking so we have time to have sex?" And then we budget for it and it works out for everyone.

[@Sbrasher13]

If things get better, it’s thanks to god. If things get worse, it’s because you weren’t a good enough Christian.

[@blockofgrass7928]

OMG YES The toxic mindset my extended family tried to brainwash me into... it's actually horrifying

[@Iron678Maiden]

No it was gods plan. He’s making you suffer so you learn something :)

[@lacklusterluke5855]

@@Iron678Maiden sounds like bad parenting

[@Sbrasher13]

@@Iron678Maiden if you needed a lesson you weren’t being a very good Christian ^_^

[@imeantloveyou5eva]

or if it’s something bad it’s just god’s plan 😫🙏

[@Lavender_and_lemonade]

Purity culture is so toxic! As a woman we were taught “Sex is dirty, you are pure until you do have sex before marriage then you’re dirty too!” And then you get married and it’s “Be completely available to him now!” It’s a mind f-!

[@hanokokun9246]

Exactly but when “want sex” your supposed to give it to them but not enjoy it it’s sad

[@hanokokun9246]

@Prettyfairyjayy nice I respect your opinions

[@nyj2326]

@Prettyfairyjayy it’s fine to choose to wait until marriage. The actual issue is telling kids that the only way to stay pure is to not have sex and then flip it on when they’re married. It leads to a lot of emotional and physical damage and even personally, I know multiple women who’ve needed physical therapy because of it. If it’s not pushed on you and it’s 100% your choice, then that’s great for you and I hope it works out the way you’re hoping. I don’t think most people here would have any issue with that. Best of luck

[@sophialol3960]

@Prettyfairyjayy it’s okay to want to keep yourself till you get married but the problem is when you make everyone else feel bad and worthless if they don’t, which is what people mean by purity culture. The Bible itself isn’t toxic but the spin people put on it and listen to every story like it’s literal and a rule is toxic, just because there’s a verse saying someone should cover up, doesn’t mean god said that or it matters. Again I think it’s okay if you feel like you’re giving your feelings out when you have sex, because everyone has a different pov, but when people try to force everyone else to believe that it becomes toxic. Hopefully I helped you understand a little 🫶 it’s not that your beliefs by themselves are toxic, but forcing them on others is

[@gajoratte]

It’s super special when you spend your youth being compared to a used up candy wrapper if someone “unwraps” you before marriage… so trash.. they tell you you’ll be trash and then you get SA’ed

[@TaraMooknee]

if they weren't ferociously homophobic, I'd actually feel sorry for them

[@klausval]

Right, a lot of the things they say are genuinely concerning but then they go on to spread such toxic and dangerous ideas so i can't have much sympathy for them tbh Although, i do feel kinda bad for morgan, especially considering what she was like before her relationship with paul. It really doesn't seem healthy for her at all, paul is so controlling and borderline rapey

[@EmiCheese]

Yeah, but the Homophobia is probably part of the whole package of Religious baggage they carry around. It's just sad.

[@RNS_Aurelius]

The complete lack of intraspection, refusal to listen to other ideas and deep hypocrisy is what stops me feeling sorry for people like this. The justification of misogyny boardering on spousal rape is also another reason I can't even take them seriously. When talking about sexual desire they only address how much he wants it and it's very telling.

[@veginito]

I could never feel sorry for people who so openly put their intimate lives on the internet, Id be so embarrassed.

[@frankiesayspanic]

despite being bisexual and nonbinary and absolutely disgusted by their homophobic rhetoric, i still feel bad/concerned for morgan as a survivor of marital rape myself

[@atomichearts9332]

they need to stop worrying about the sin of premarital sex and start worrying about the sin that is their interior decorating

[@lindseyhendrix2405]

Pssssshh ! This made me cackle scrolling through the comments wondering about their choice of “wall art “

[@georgehutter339]

True

[@angelaa7388]

PREACH

[@Kb-gh2rk]

Ohmygod. I thought it was just me thinking this. I have the same letters of mine and my husbands first name with the & symbol like they do but I never hung them and I just threw them out when I saw them in the video. I’m not kidding at all. 🤦🏻‍♀️

[@Pa5an1]

In the first video the picture behind Morgan makes it look like she has devils horns 😅

[@stinkygoose666]

We really need to raise awareness of marital rape. To all survivors: you are the strongest, most beautiful people. It's never too late to break the cycle and get out.

[@ruthperez7985]

Yes this it's scary that naive people out there like the right wingers don't know more about other real issues that happens in real life like this one instead they choose not to hear it and say it's made up when it's not. and the fact the majority of stupid heads are right wing christen believers out of touch with reality and uneducated .

[@FocusedFighter777]

It's just a joke to most people, the proofs are all over the net. Even women claims it isnt real. So F up n disgusting.

[@adriennemoon864]

@@TheSMR1969 what dod you find so funny about that???

[@kindal5671]

​@@TheSMR1969 they ARE survivors. you could die from r@pe, so if you live you are a survivor

[@ecliiipsssse]

​@@TheSMR1969 what would you call it then loser

[@HannahBayles]

Yeah let’s put sex on the calendar so it can feel even more like an obligation Christian women owe their husbands.

[@AngelBirdo]

Because it wasn't already obvious enough!

[@nuclear_bonsai]

I've read it from someone else but having sex "on a schedule" has been good for people that have less libido than their partner. Everyone has different needs and having a schedule helps everyone gets their needs met. But yeah, you're right. Having sex on a calender for other people just seems like a good way for more manipulation.

[@a.b.7932]

@@nuclear_bonsai yeah it can be beneficial do some couples where one person has a very low libido but they still wanna have sex it just doesn’t cross their mind as much or as often. And the low libido may not be a constant thing it could be a temporary thing. Speaking more from experience on that.

[@dinospumoni5611]

I have to disagree with this and Ethan's take. Scheduling sex is pretty much a textbook medical treatment for married couples with children who find themselves not having enough sex. No different than scheduling a "date night". Having sex when you're busy with kids and work etc. is hard and if a schedule is necessary then that's a perfectly fine solution. I suspect most of the people criticizing this idea are teens or unmarried adults.

[@AlexTheRob0t]

Omg hi Hannah

[@maggie5456]

as a good christian girl, i’ve never even heard of sex

[@jenm1]

Can I find it in the produce aisle?

[@stormfischerr]

i’m pressing x to doubt 🤨 /j

[@ithoughtiwascishet1316]

@@jenm1 frozen section my friend

[@bread8095]

Its a type of fruit, goes good with salad

[@-piras]

sex? I barely

[@rainbow_vader]

I'm not waiting until marriage for sex, I'm waiting until marriage to finally fulfill my lifelong dream of decorating my house with 5 identical plants in a row

[@frostyflames7864]

Like have they never heard of animal crossing 😅

[@saladfingers.]

Yes. It's very strange.

[@chaoticdetectivepeach]

​@@frostyflames7864 You can't play animal crossing its gateway interior deco! >:0

[@raimarulightning]

True love is waiting until marriage to put up the "Live, Laugh, Love" signs you've been hiding all along

[@ferociousgumby]

@@raimarulightning I can hear those vows right now: "Do you promise to LIVE?" "I do." "LAUGH?" "I do." "LOVE?" "I do." "I now pronounce you . . . DONE."

[@anacceptablename332]

the fact that she’s scared to tell him what she wants/doesn’t want is terrifying

[@powderandpaint14]

And means she won't be enjoying sex when they do have it!

[@Jodd_purrz]

I hope she's okay

[@uncertain_zee]

It's crazy that they say "you have time to work it out!" About the thing of what if you don't have sexual chemistry with the person u end up marrying, while also being a prime example of how this doesn't work out when you're also following these extreme doctrines. You can work out a lot of issues, but sometimes people just aren't sexually compatible because of differences in libido or maybe your into different things or whatever, however it's gonna be IMPOSSIBLE to even TRY to work through any of these things if you can't even comfortably talk to your partner about your desires - or even just talk about sex like a grown adult.

[@audreybea4013]

for real like, I've been with my partner for over 4 years, we met when I was 16, and it took me about 6 months to feel comfortable enough with myself to tell him what I wanted sexually, mainly because up until then I didn't know what I liked, and he has never been like weird about me telling him new things, I cannot imagine what it would be like to go YEARS, having sex multiple times a week, and never being able to tell my partner what I want. That's so sad :/

[@ruthperez7985]

I feel bad for her I hope she's safe

[@caseyw.6550]

Never forget that morgan literally vomited at the altar on her wedding day. Probably the most relatable thing she has ever done when it comes to paul. The ONLY appropriate reaction, tbh.

[@gypsylee333]

Really?! OMG I never heard that before 😂

[@caseyw.6550]

@@gypsylee333 there is video of it!!!!

[@fayerawcliffe7794]

I remember seeing that on fundie fridays and literally gasping like it really feels like she doesn’t really like Paul which fair he’s a fucking creep

[@no7240]

NOOOOOOOO WHAT. IM ACTALLY GONNA CRY

[@paiganism]

WHOA

[@ilikeyoutube7224]

Morgan is odd. Feels like she is a much freer spirit than her environment allows. Like shes trying to have fun and be spontaneous but Paul just openly is annoyed and treats her like a parent tolerating their annoying kid.

[@darienwells8038]

Whenever she takes too long to make a point or begins talking abt her own pleasure he looks like he’s fantasizing abt choking her out like.. the glare 😬

[@Veestar88]

She says that Paul “saved” her. She actually had a bit of a music career before she met him, she even made a music video where she’s a sexy cop and seduces a hot guy in a convertible. After they got together, it seems like Paul really changed her, got her to quit taking her meds for anxiety/depression. She threw up during their wedding vows and she should have taken it as a sign

[@balkanbaroque]

@@darienwells8038ew what the fuck is wrong with you

[@katrinaoliver4167]

She does not like that man.

[@katieestep6058]

I feel like she seems to be drunk or high in most of these videos... She must be miserable

[@hisnaybi]

If my partner just told the internet that they can’t wait to die and go to heaven to experience real pleasure, I would simply disintegrate and cease to exist.

[@h0ttestf4g]

"no no you can't actually satisfy me in any way, shape or form, I'm waiting until I *_die_* so god can finally give me fulfillment"

[@thesingerintheshower]

😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

[@Iamagoblingivemeyourstuff]

My bf and I have talked a lot about how strange we find it that certain Christians just seem like they spend their lives living to die. Everything they do is about preparing for that. It’s morbid

[@wiwinonuggets]

@@Iamagoblingivemeyourstuffso real, my bf dad actually said to us one day he is never happy and thats hes waiting to die to experience that at the hands of god. he said all that casually. it was really depressing he just goes to work everyday and when i say his wife helps him with NOTHING i mean it. hes the one who cleans hes the one who cooks he pays for all her weed and beer while she sits at home on the couch all day and watches tv. stuck in a relationship that doesnt make him happy because of religion.

[@xRainxBowxBritex]

@@h0ttestf4gsounds a little gay 😏

[@nukaghoula]

An an asexual, I can totally understand being a little uncomfortable with sex itself - it is kinda sweaty, sticky, messy and time consuming - but being freaked out about it until after getting some legal document is absolutely baffling

[@vixennti]

Jokes on them, I'm constantly freaked out about it! 😈

[@rodentmarie]

Agreed lol, i dont understand how people do that

[@antisocialal4799]

I do find it weird that religious people, specifically Christians, drill it in peoples heads to never have sex and sex is bad and then get mad at people for not wanting to have sex or not wanting to have kids. It’s really hypocritical and manipulative.

[@madhatt3r93]

@@antisocialal4799 I suppose that's the point- it's not that they don't WANT to have sex, they actually want it real bad, but they restrain themselves for arbitrary reasons. Seeing someone who geniuinely doesn't want to have sex as a baseline state pisses them off, because not having sex is effortless for sex-repulsed aces. They don't feel the same guilt, desire and self-inflicted suffering these christians do, and it makes them see red.

[@raquelfredette6800]

@@madhatt3r93 that is an excellent point. I've always kinda found it weird how christians are so acephobic when ace people literally do exactly what the christians want them to lol

[@LittleBitVic]

In one video, Morgan shared how she was so affected by "cold feet" that she ran away from Paul at the altar. Jaclyn Glenn-Frank's video that covered it included the actual recording of it--she was so scared of marrying Paul that she ran off the stage to vomit. It took _others_ to pressure her back into returning to the altar that day and going through with it. Based on her displeasure and fights on camera, Paul must be a nightmare even in her warped, bigoted perspective.

[@Saerise]

Having been married to someone similar, I can confirm it is an absolute hellscape and you spend your life walking on eggshells.

[@sorryoutlandish]

Jesus Christ I had heard about that and I just think that’s so fucking sad. If your partner that you’re literally about to marry is so scared of marrying you that they run away, vomit, then have to be essentially coerced to go back to the altar, then don’t fuckin marry that person. They very clearly don’t want to be with you. We shouldn’t ignore Morgan’s blatant bigotry because she’s not exactly innocent either in that aspect but my heart just broke when I heard about that info. I always hate speculating on people’s relationships and marriages but she sounds trapped in it. I just hope she’s doing okay

[@louloudaki_]

she seemed much much happier and like a normal person before marrying him. she needs to get away from him

[@mysticalvibe4241]

Wow that’s scary she was so scared to marry. She was probably really really. Young and kinda pressured about having Grandkids and the old nagging of clock ⏰ is ticking fast you better hurry up or this young man will be snatched up. His dad or family probably had a big cause or director of the church. Ex Preacher Board Member etc

[@leila_de_hautjardin]

This is sad 😢

[@grandpa_IX]

...please don't feel like you have to negotiate access to your body, married or not. your body, your rules, no one *NO ONE* gets to override them. not even your partner or spouse, and they should respect you enough not to try.

[@CatONineCheese]

It genuinely breaks my heart that Morgan sorta implies she feels like she can’t say no too many times. I think on some level my fear of that exact situation contributed to my asexuality tbh

[@scaryhallway]

was coming to the comments to say exactly this, you never owe anyone sex regardless of relationship status + societal pressures. if you aren’t in the mood you NEVER should force yourself to be. listen to your body. point blank period.

[@AnnekeOosterink]

Yeah. I'd like to add that someone actually said to me that enthusiastic consent can't happen after X years of marriage. (It was a discussion specifically about enthusiastic consent, so not out of nowhere or something.) Like, maintenance sex. Against their will. And I was like, how is this not marital rape? You don't wanna. Then they turned around and advised me to also do that. Like. What? No. I have never had sex with my husband of 5 years once. And this was mindblowing to them. It made me so sad. They weren't even religious, they had just absorbed this attitude.

[@Miipmiip]

Yeah where I’m from marital rape is as much of a crime as non-marital rape; it surprised me so much to find out that it wasn’t like that always. Also it was so bad when Morgan literally said she can’t say no and Paul didn’t react. Like god why did you make these people like this

[@JustyMe]

@@Miipmiip what kind of messed up brain he has to have to think "yup, my wife, love of my life, should sacrifice herself and her mental health for my pleasure because I'm a man"

[@angellane1848]

as a survivor of rape, what morgan is describing is so familiar and sad. i remember when my boyfriend would force me, i would “prepare my mind” too, and let my eyes glaze over like a dead fish, and tolerate it till it was done. despite how shitty morgan can be, my heart breaks for her. this is so fucking sad.

[@monicavelazquezrodriguez3035]

:(, Sorry to hear that.

[@asksomeoneelse98]

And the fact that she’s so brainwashed into thinking it’s right that she’s teaching other young girls to do the same. It’s very hard to watch.

[@gavinperch9413]

@@asksomeoneelse98 she may not even consciously think it's right, she may be doing it to appease her husband. I'm not a psychologist, or scientist.... or even a high school graduate, but I almost think they are doing these videos in an attempt to repair their marriage, like this is their only time to speak more openly cause they dont have to say it directly to each other and instead speak their minds to the audience while kind of directing it to their significant other.

[@Pa5an1]

Yep, I did the same. I’d just “log out” of my body and try to be elsewhere mentally

[@SandraLopez-ll2ob]

That sounds horrible, throw that whole man in the trash

[@abby2157]

can we PLEASE talk about the faces that each one makes while the other is talking?? Paul looks like he is in genuine pain when he lets her so much as finish a sentence. it's almost like he's afraid of what she's gonna say??

[@FocusedFighter777]

True

[@TheSMR1969]

mUh mIsOgYnY

[@LuckyPigeon1111]

And Morgan looks sad.

[@kennedy.5152]

he is CLENCHING that jaw 💀

[@thesingerintheshower]

Yes

[@twinklinggiraffes2660]

I'm ace and generally uncomfortable with sex but I have a MUCH better grasp on sex than these two lol

[@babyvia6712]

same

[@merenzrot]

Same bud

[@victoriabeke6544]

I swear, ace people probably have a better grasp on it than most straight people... Maybe it's just because of the way we look at it? Or maybe bc of the queer experience in general, getting to know yourself and all. Like, I definitely thought about it a bit before coming to the conclusion that I'm ace, and straight people usually don't go through that period of questioning their sexuality.

[@Aeiouaaaaaaaaa]

Same

[@fishinspacey]

@@victoriabeke6544 i think because we have to constantly defend our sexuality to straight people, so we kind of have a better understanding of sex and sexual attraction, cause we have to explain why we do NOT like it 😭

[@maxx6068]

i don't know how christian men (and people in general) want to have sex with their partner if their partner isn't feeling it. i feel like a lot of the enjoyment comes from the other person being as eager as you are

[@amberrichards2778]

Sex isn't about pleasure to a lot of people with this point of view. It's for power.

[@steamyvegetables1445]

@@amberrichards2778 Is it bad that l have a similar view? Mainly towards hookup culture/ casual sex. I am kinda dissolution on how sex is in the modern era.

[@reyrey7775]

They’re taught to be entitled and that their needs matter more than the woman’s

[@IATEALLTHECHEESE]

Exactly! How do yall have fun sex if the other doesn't enjoy it?

[@caseyw.6550]

That's always baffled me, too. But I know first hand that some guys do not give a shit.

[@monradicus]

One time my THERAPIST told me that "sometimes intimacy isn't about you, it's about the other person" when I told her i wasn't sure how to say no without feeling crushing guilt 🙃

[@philin6468]

Oh god that sounds awful sorry that happened

[@ReiAnikaAyanami]

i hope you have a different, better therapist now!!

[@WarrenBarksAtSpiders]

Terrible therapist. If you aren't your best advocate, no one will be.

[@PGOuma]

You know what, sometimes I've been told this after saying that I'm a s3x repulsed asexual

[@PGOuma]

I thought it was normal

[@morganwentworth2041]

“Post-marriage, which is all the sex you want.” “Well-“ “HE was ready to go” 🚩🚩🚩🚩 I don’t want either of them having sex at all, because Morgan seems like they don’t actually want sex, and Paul gives major manipulator vibes.

[@mickeewoop-woop9020]

And knowing that Morgan had sex before Paul... It's a common tactic for ppl in Paul's position to guilt their spouse by using their past as "leverage" and like it makes them used up and that's why they don't want it now or w.e...

[@taliaroses]

Bad news... They're having a baby. I've been on r/FundieSnarkUncensored too long

[@elisei.c.4079]

@@taliaroses what. Does this exist? I mean theres a sub for everything

[@taliaroses]

@@elisei.c.4079 yeah it’s real

[@meghansullivan6812]

Yeah Paul frightens me

[@roramdin]

just realized the clever name of the channel because ethan is his name and he's online! this guy is the gift that keeps on giving

[@mattcottrell3286]

Ro!!!!!!! Hi!!!!!!!!!

[@dapperpepperoni5074]

crazy if true

[@customerservicerobot454]

ethan is a canonical confirmed giftgiver!

[@sabrinarob6855]

No probably not, i usually agree with you but i think this is just too far of a stretch /j

[@rcx9681]

That's on KZbin

[@Deedoo_r]

it's scary genuinely how much it seems they don't fully understand consent. she doesn't realize she can just say no, she thinks she always has to have an excuse

[@hatetheusername]

i read that morgan ran out and vomited during her wedding and had to be "peer pressured" to go back because she got cold feet. if you need to schedule sex and mentally prepare before sex when your husband wants it, thats marital rape. both parties need to enthusiastically consent and not see it as an obligation. if my partner didnt want sex then i would accept that. having been coerced into doing sexual things with someone who wouldnt take no for an answer and i just gave in, i know what it feels like when you don't want to do something. i know she has some very bigoted views but regardless, so deserves so much better than this scumbag.

[@elleofhearts8471]

I think what makes that context even worse is that Morgan wasn't a virgin at marriage and Paul always appears visibly resentful of that whenever the topic is brought up. He even appears to imply that hes a better person than morgan because he waited and she didnt. I can only imagine the hurtful, slut shame-y fodder that can be made of out of that behind closed doors if morgan turns down sex "too often". Paul already has already said slut shamey things about morgan's sexual past and pre marital sex.

[@babyvia6712]

It’s sad how I, being asexual, could probably relate to Morgan in her lack of comfort surrounding sex and sexuality, but I know that telling Morgan or any devout Christian about my sexual orientation would garner confusion and disbelief and some shame because there’s “something wrong with me” because “God made people to want sex”.

[@julieg785]

That's what I think is so funny about religious bigots, like shouldn't they literally worship asexuals? In their view they're the epitome of purity right? I know it probably has to do with asexuals not "multiplying" but maybe then don't make sex taboo if you want people to have it lol

[@AndromedaD]

@@julieg785 I went looking into it specifically before I left the church, because I was curious. Basically it was simultaneously "lol sure wish I was asexual cuz then I wouldn't be tempted" and either denial of our existence or disgust similar to anyone else under the LGBTQ+ umbrella

[@babyvia6712]

@@julieg785 exactly. Every once in a while I think “other lgbtq ppl were right! I’m not experiencing any discrimination!” Then I realize that that isn’t the case when I look at the conservative response to my identity because anything with the “lgbtq” tag associated that doesn’t fit the plan they believe God had (to want sex, but hate having it with your husband) is wrong and bad.

[@babyvia6712]

@@AndromedaD YES! That’s exactly what I saw!

[@Scrimmified]

as a fellow asexual who went to a school that was full of people like this - i once asked a teacher "what if someone doesn't want to have sex at all" during a discussion about abstinence I was told that sex before marriage is a sin, but not having sex after marriage is abuse... yikes.

[@rosaline9818]

I used to be like her. I was also transphobic and sexist. same type of marriage. same awful ideas. when I escaped the marriage I realized I'm trans and now have a healthy view on sex. if this is an abusive relationship (remember, it includes literal r*pe) then don't judge her too hard on any ideas she has, she's in survival mode.

[@alfonsalenius2482]

Glad you got out of that relationship! 🫂

[@Arosukir6]

I'm singled your journey went in a much better direction! I've seen some folks talk about what Morgan was like before this relationship, and it makes me really sad. Like she lost everything she was. She was an artist and a musician before, sporting tattoos and just doing her own thing. Then she got married to this creeper, adopted all of his gross views, and now is pretty much at the arrested development of a 12-yr-old, which is what those fundie dudes love. Anytime she tries to be fun or silly you can see him judging her or shushing her. He shames her about her past, using it in videos to be like "I was really bad (BoooOooo, tattooooOooos and driiiiinking!) but then Jesus saved me!" I wonder if she got some help would she ever leave him, and reevaluate all the BS she believes. But then again her entire career and financial stability now relies on being this kind of toxic Christian. So who knows?

[@rosaline9818]

@@Arosukir6 The only reason I got out is because my abuser wanted to get rid of me since I wasn't useful anymore. So I don't know.. it's not easy to break out of these situations yourself when you're being manipulated

[@emifukakado-msjoke]

i’m so happy for you! 🥰 i’m glad you got out of that terrible situation and that you’re doing better. this kind of thing is really great to hear

[@AwesomeFreakMadd]

I am BEYOND happy for you that you were able to get away and be yourself :) i also had shame views on sex growing up religious, it's hard to crack that egg sometimes but i'm glad you were able to get to a healthy view.

[@notsosadbart6343]

the only "preparation" you should have to make before sex with your partner is laying down a towel, taking a shower, and grabbing your lube or toys (if you need/want any of that) You shouldn't have to "mentally prepare" to deal with your partners "needs" That's straight up terrifying.

[@vaughnhaney7020]

Honestly as a highly anxious virgin one of the primary reasons I'm still a virgin is due to thinking like this lol. It's impossible for me to not feel like I have to mentally prepare, then I doubt my own consent and never go through with it

[@badcaseofstripes]

I agree with this sentiment. I still have to mentally prepare to have sex with my partner even though I enjoy it very very much, but it's all rooted in sexual trauma in my childhood and nothing to do with how my partner handles things. It's like it's a really intense experience so it can be jarring to a more sensitive person to say the least, but if you have to mentally prepare for what your partner is going to do to you because you actually don't like it or even feel comfortable doing it, super huge problem and it's really scary thinking about where that stems from. I kinda gotta hype myself up to do it, shake off the nerves, but once I get past that it's great.

[@badcaseofstripes]

​@@vaughnhaney7020 You can do it, only when you are totally sure. Logically you should think that consent can be withdrawn at any point and it's okay. It doesn't have to go the entire mile. If you take the plunge so to speak and 5 minutes in you get really uncomfortable, it's okay to stop and try again later. Consent can be fluid so not doubting how you feel is super important. Also go at your own pace! You can start suuuper small, baby steps, doing more foreplay, trying certain sexual things out for even 5 seconds and just acclimate to that and work up. It doesn't gotta be all at once this huge overwhelming experience with so much pressure, that actually removes the fun parts of sex.

[@vaughnhaney7020]

@@badcaseofstripes That's a nice sentiment but I've never had anyone in my life willing to work with me on that. I've ended up rejecting a few people who were too pushy though. I'm in my 20s so at this point I'm pretty sure it's just never gonna happen, especially since I'm a guy (kinda supposed to have experience by now) and the problem isn't attractiveness or social skills (I'm pretty average in terms of looks and socially a little awkward but I've been told it's in an endearing way?)

[@thelastchannelonyoutube]

Morgan wasn’t always like this. She used to be a upcoming music artist who spoke out against domestic abuse. She didn’t express such conservative views until around the time she was dating Paul. And judging by a conversation in one video, Paul convinced her to drop music as a career. Now, I don’t feel comfortable making bold statements about relationships that I only have an outside perspective on. I just find it strange how someone who was finding’s success in music (which is very hard to do) would leave that opportunity to become an evangelical influencer.

[@braydenlanter95]

@@zarinacapitanoprevost1314 "creating false narratives' bro he made a mistake, and he clearly gave himself room for error.

[@hannahcochran9416]

He also made her get rid of her service dog. This man is terrifying.

[@kimym9270]

@@hannahcochran9416 whaaat?!? what has to be going on in your mind to get rid of someone's support?

[@spoiledmilk8888]

She also...had sex before marriage

[@okayomakaia]

Fuck them both, she’s a willing participant in homophobia

[@misslyntheena]

My parents are fundamentalist Christians and when I was 8 I kinda accidentally discovered masturbation and didn’t know what it was so I told my mum about it and she made me sit down with her and my sisters to “pray it away”. Every New Year’s Eve I had to make the resolution to “stop doing the thing in my room” in front of my family. She then later told us that men always want sex and for women it’s a duty that has to be done and it could never be enjoyable for women. I’m so sorry for her.

[@Kb-gh2rk]

I mean this in the least weird way possible but I hope you now do whatever you damn well please with your body. Lol I’m sorry you went through that.

[@TheCyberianHusky]

That’s more “cult” vibes or Stephen King’s Carrie White’s Mom, lol. No longer am religious now, but I was raised by a Baptist pastor father and very faithful mother, and there was never anything like that. If there is, not only are they religious, they’re mental.

[@mochihamster2794]

LMAOO when I was 8 I cried everyday thinking I was gonna go to hell over doing t or something ☠️ and then my mom would be concerned and ask why I was crying and I couldn’t tell her so I said “ITS BC I DONT WANT YOU TO DIE” every time and she actually became scared and thought she was gonna die and started praying over it at church ☠️ Now I realize the reason had to be religious guilt/not being informed/being exposed to sexual stuff to early, but I am ok now! ! and she did not die!

[@mochihamster2794]

also ur experience is acc mortifying I’m sorry u went through that and I hope you’re better now!

[@sole7816]

i actually had a similar experience when i was 8 too. only thing is i got shamed for it instead of the “pray it away” ordeal. i hope you’re alright bc it still haunts me…

[@jojocaitlin8508]

He strikes me as a "when I'm finished, sex is over" kind of guy. Like she has to fend for herself 😬

[@wandaruth3833]

Bold of you to assume that she’s allowed to fend for herself. Men like that don’t believe women should be allowed to experience pleasure.

[@CarlCoppinger]

Pretty much......

[@RNS_Aurelius]

Him speaking over her pointing out the fact she doesn't always enjoy sex and then telling us openly she feels she can't be honest to him or he acts like a toddler and that he doesn't communicate is indictative of sexual problems so many hetero couples face. It isn't just Christians but the way they've addressed their faith doesn't help.

[@justaperson6254]

trust me, hetero couples can healthily talk about their sex lives. its just people with shitty views, misogyny to be frank, make it harder for some men to wrap their head around the fact that women have opinions and certain needs too.

[@Kimmie6772]

the fact that this is what we see on camera feels like huge red flags to me. I dont think this relationship they have is healthy for anyone.

[@Themudeater]

@@justaperson6254 they can communicate, but statistically same-sex relationships with women are more likely to lead to an equal partnership when it comes to sex. I think it’s the way straight couples view sexual encounters.

[@justaperson6254]

@@Themudeater what i posted got deleted. if you want to figure out what i said, i can email u or sumn.

[@AVspectre]

@@Themudeater I think one of the interesting elements of same-sex relationships is that there aren’t default gendered roles - in or out of the bedroom. It means that conversations about preferences, interests, etc have to be discussed instead of just assumed based on gendered stereotypes. Hetero couples can have this conversations too but they are less the default I think. 🤔

[@marykateandnoashley]

Can we also point out how most Christians consider oral sex, even between straight married people, a mortal sin? As well as how Christian teaching tends to say that a woman’s pleasure is unnecessary and marital rape isn’t a thing? Never listen to any discussion of sex on the basis of some random dudes hundreds and thousands of years ago. Be moral and logical.

[@katniss425]

Ok, I personally have experienced the oral sex shame from religion, but it kind of seems like the studies Ethan provided in the first couple minutes imply that *most* christians don’t consider oral sex a mortal sin, just the loudest, shittiest ones

[@marykateandnoashley]

@@katniss425 I grew up in a religious community and went to a religious school. And, it says these things in the Catechisms and these sentiments are often taught at private schools and preached by Christian authorities, whther or not the average Christian supports it.

[@stevonwhite8933]

Literally watched some show on Netflix about horror stories of real people telling their experiences. And this one story was about a man who knew he was gay from childhood, but he was raised by evangelical Christians, so he was shunned at every turn. The most DISGUSTING thing of it all? His own f’n mother would forcibly give him oral sex, to “cure him” from a young age. He’s old now, and he hasn’t talked to his family since he became an adult, and is happily married.

[@strwbrry06]

@@stevonwhite8933 do you know the name of the show? it sounds familiar

[@jennamarie4009]

@@strwbrry06 i think it’s either procession or something else i don’t know

[@ErinHonor]

I feel like their inability to talk about sex without freaking out and/or making some strange joke immediately after like they are 12 year olds is a bit telling. Shame-based religion really messes with your head and it takes a lot to unlearn the idea that being a person with a perfectly normal interest in sex doesn't make you dirty.

[@josephmother2659]

“Sex is so gross and funny tee hee but also I force my wife to have sex with me every 2 days no questioning my authority”

[@bigpapamagoo8696]

This is reminds me SO much of being taught about sex by my youth group as a kid. It was always so awkward and giggly and even the adults who were supposed to be informed seemed woefully uninformed and just kind of winged it.

[@tylerf.145]

im a good christian girl i haven't even seen a boy in 87 years ✝️🥰

[@Ta-bz9iy]

I’m such a good Christian girl that I ONLY think of girls 🥰 oh wait-

[@augustr4wberry]

@@Ta-bz9iy l'm such a good Christian that i think of attractive people all the time-

[@mmcii4]

me too 🥰❤️❤️🛐🛐🙌 I've only seen girls 😀😀😍😀😍😀😍 I guess our spots in hell had already been made 🤪🤪🤪

[@kirahamilton393]

as a good christian girl i am nonbinary because women are weak followers😍😍😍🤝🤝 and i would NEVER speak to a man ✝️✝️✝️ so i NEVER. pray !

[@advlia686]

I'm such a good Christian girl , i don't even know what boys are.

[@Marianiki2002]

Morgan was actually a singer, pretty progressive and even had some songs on her channel about her r*pe and how important it is to support survivors. She now says her label made her act sexy and put on a "bad girl" persona, evident in one of her videoclips where she gets pulled over by cops and... makes out with them? I don't really remember. The point is she seemed to be doing so much better (well except her label forcing her to do stuff, but I mean that could be her excuse for it now that she's ashamed of her past) before she met Paul. Strong, sexually liberated, fun and with a passion. Now she's just a soulless husk. She reminds me a lot of my aunt (who also was a progressive, fierce woman who got married to a guy that originally looked nice but turned out to be an indoctrinated christian abusive asshole). Now they're both gone. It's horribly sad.

[@Kb-gh2rk]

I really hope when she talks about having sex before marriage she’s not talking about the rape because Paul shames her for it all the time and that would make it even worse.

[@purrsuasively]

It reminds me of how about 2 years ago at my lowest I ended up being manipulated into changing my beliefs and even changing my food intake, etc. A manipulator can warp every facet of your personality, even if you think you’re someone who is firm in their beliefs.

[@KLee1028]

@@Kb-gh2rk from what I remember she was in a long term relationship prior to Paul and they were sexually active.

[@Kb-gh2rk]

@@KLee1028 oh okay, thank you

[@FocusedFighter777]

So F sad... So common... Soulless husks seems what most men want us to be. Stay single, stay safe. You'll keep all your hobbies and mental health.

[@buddycal1]

I'm glad I was far from the only person that was straight up horrified by her description of preparing for sex, lol.

[@jenm1]

There’s something so creepy about gatekeeping sex education to marriage. It’s never just about waiting, they don’t want you to know anything lol

[@jeeks3747]

Because it's easy to not get caught doing something terrible, if the victim doesn't know that what happened was wrong, or even have the words to describe the event

[@JuniperGal-ek2pu]

You’re onto something 😮

[@amoureux6502]

It is SO worrying to me how much Morgan doesn't seem to like having sex and Paul just keeps talking over her about how much he loves it. Also I don't think it's inherently weird to have to schedule sex, it's not uncommon w busy couples, but the way they talk about it again really makes it feel like Morgan sees it as a chore rather than a fun bonding time. And Paul really doesn't seem to care or even acknowledge that Morgan feels that way. (Obviously I don't know what they're like off camera but the on camera energy is astoundingly bad)

[@malchickoleander]

Me and my boyfriend both have high sex drives, but for a long time I had a low sex drive (trauma) and we would frequently "schedule" intimacy because it's something that he needed. We also did other intimate things besides sex (planned dates, nights in together, and so on) because it's not *just* about sex, it's about intimacy. Having scheduled sexual intimacy isn't inherently weird, but the way Morgan and Paul do it is awful. Morgan seems genuinely repulsed by the idea of sex and Paul constantly talks over her and ignores it. That whole "preparing your mind" is a VERY common thing among victims.

[@cemeterybaby2008]

@@malchickoleander yea I agree especially about the chore part sex is supposed to be an intimate bonding feeling and admiring each others bodies and revelling in how good you can make each other feel out of that mutual respect and love for each other like it’s just a beautiful thing to experience with consent of course but it feels like she just does it because she thinks that’s just what marriage is ://

[@malchickoleander]

@@cemeterybaby2008Yes exactly. Consent is key. My boyfriend knows that when I'm doing worse overall I'm gonna be less interested in things. We pay attention to each other's "tells" and care deeply about when one of us is feeling off. It's not meant to be a coercive scary thing. Scheduling sexual intimacy is just like scheduling a date, you're allowed to cancel anytime.

[@FocusedFighter777]

@@malchickoleander WHY in holy F does she stays with this garbage of a human being. Sisters, STOP DOING THAT!!! This is one reason why it's so important to have a JOB so you can LEAVE if you finally realise you're dating a piece of s**t.

[@malchickoleander]

@@FocusedFighter777 Yeah he's a POS, I hope she gets out.

[@sophiamcdonald2768]

my christian mom talked poorly about sex, as all christian parents do, but she believed that the way she talked about it is why i’m a lesbian and sexually interested in women 💀

[@joandarc441]

Hence why teenage pregnancy is getting normal

[@Coco20480]

This is why the Gen x are bad parents

[@Duncan_Soldan]

Best thing about being asexual and gay is you can laugh at Sex-Ed Christians but also be mad at them in the same breath. Edit: If I made any mistake about correctly expressing my identity I am sorry. I’ve kind of had to learn this all on my own. Also I was forced to go to catholic high school so I can relate to you guys about that. If you are still in a repressive environment, you will get through this❤

[@tripointsofficial1974]

I've never wanted to kill someone for being so right like you are right now

[@bones7330]

mood but also what the fuck is tripoints on about

[@blorgle]

@@tripointsofficial1974 ????????

[@fubukisses]

@@tripointsofficial1974 HUH?

[@vexusmorpheus932]

@@tripointsofficial1974 aye??

[@mattcottrell3286]

The picture behind her makes her look like she has devil horns. How did she, a good Christian girl, let that happen? /joking

[@Sopixelz_]

I THOUGHT I WAS HALLUCINATING

[@OGimouse1]

She didn't have to let it. She's a woman. She is fallen by nature. 🤢

[@lilttiger]

maybe the universe is showing her true self lol

[@nellejones2288]

I JUST NOTICED THIS THAT IS SO HILARIOUS IF GOD IS DOING ANYTHING HES EXPOSING HER FOR BEING A DEMON

[@miad6160]

@@OGimouse1”woman give man a fruit when I said no, I must punish rest for eternity😡” - God, quoted from the Bible

[@sydneyhuff6976]

My mom always said “test drive before you buy” because you may not be physically compatible. Your kinks may not align.

[@JasmineTea127]

This means I need to bring out my plague doctor costume before marriage…..

[@liliesandroses6323]

​@@JasmineTea127pleas do

[@mommy2libras]

I always recommend living with someone a bit before marriage. People don't understand that love is not enough and while every relationship is made of understanding and compromise, you want to find out in advance if the person you think you're going to live with forever has some totally annoying habits or practices that you simply can't live with but are just part of who they are. Every breakup doesn't have to be over anger or cheating or something horrible either- sometimes you just aren't compatible living together and you need to know that before taking the next big step and tying yourselves together legally.

[@chandeloon]

this shit really breaks my heart for people in religious circles just entirely cut off from any helpful information about healthy sex lives, even if the general information is just “sex is not a bad thing”

[@melowlw8638]

even info not about doing sexual stuff is important but because the topic of sex is thought of as "only the activity of doing sex" we forget and shy away from stuff like stds and how birth control and other that just extend to topics further than that

[@sniggitysnack2166]

@@melowlw8638 facts, reproductive health and things of that nature are things that are really helpful to know about, and some christians completely cut their children off from learning about that kind of thing. You can get your child signed out and excused from sex ed in school, and theres no regulation on that because it is assumed that they are being taught at home, which I would not count on for some religious folk

[@yuiscene]

@@melowlw8638 I will never forget that day this woman at church talked about how "birth control is ruining the women and the world" and I was like "....wHAT??" the fact she was willing to say that in front of so many children is baffling and she shouldn't be a teacher

[@frozenraspberries1552]

Consent would have been so helpful for me and other girls in my youth group to learn; a lot of us started getting assaulted by our church bfs and no one felt safe to come forward

[@eventualwormfood]

y e s

[@shmednashmode]

"he wants sex way more than she does, or she wants sex way less than he does, or more, or whatever" GIRL💀

[@FlorSilvestre12]

Thank you for calling out all the red flags here. Coercive sexual abuse is so insidious and it only gets worse when you throw marriage and a culture that doesn't believe marital rape is real into the mix.

[@OneJey]

As someone who has been r worded I can't imagine being married and having to prepare my mind for sex when I don't want it. That's typically labeled dissociation. And then have a biweekly meeting about it, sounds like a fun time!

[@JasmineTea127]

Yeah I agree. I also have fibromyalgia. That would be miserable!

[@sunnyandthechlo]

@@JasmineTea127 I have fibro too, and my husband says it would bother him a lot if I wasn't feeling well and just forced myself to be intimate anyway. It's worrying to think of someone not caring about the other person's well being like that.

[@eviebaldwin8394]

Remember you can criticise morgan for her terrible views and also sympathise with her for clearly being in an unhealthy relationship in regards to sex!!

[@purrsuasively]

I honestly feel like if she were in a better situation, her beliefs might be different. Especially now that I’m hearing she used to be a lot different before getting with Paul.

[@melvinthebravefish9788]

Yeah, even weirdos don't deserve to have to deal with what may or may not be marital rape....

[@maddiemaley9147]

I remember seeing a video where Paul got visibly upset when talking about not having sex when your partner is mad. Then Morgan said she knew her husband was upset about the lack of sex but she didn’t want to sleep with him so she didn’t. And his response of how she needed to “humble herself” and have sex with him anyway was bone chilling. It just makes me feel uneasy when I see these 2 talk about sex and it is part of the reason I left purity culture

[@aleksandrawilkos1278]

that's terrifying

[@reganmh]

I get more and more uncomf and flabbergasted EVERYTIME morgan actually gets to say something real and concerning. My jaw drops more and more. Someone check on her

[@reganmh]

She’s running out of get out of sex free cards?! What the fuck dude

[@silvermagpie1071]

Morgan, blink twice if you need help

[@toothfairy10133]

genuinely i was horrified. three times a week? thats awful i cant imagine living like that

[@orieking]

The SA culture is so strong this is genuinely triggering 😅 Very thankful to live in a state where coercion is legally SA

[@mightymeatymech]

Im packing my bags and moving to your state lolol, logical laws surrounding SA?? Take my tax money girlies

[@OGimouse1]

It's always funny to me that "Christians" are anti-LGBTQIA+ and completely ignore the appended language against chikd marriage, rape, etc.

[@orieking]

@@mightymeatymech I successfully got justice for coercion SA, but it was only because they were a serial "SA"-ist and other victims stories gave mine validity The detective told me if I would've came forward on my own, nothing would've happened; which was heartbreaking and validating because I had planned on never coming forward, until the detective reached out to me asking me to do so to validate the other victims stories (one of whom was a child)

[@kayladawn1094]

@@orieking this give me hope because I am one of the many victims my ex assulted. I was asleep, some were incompaciated or others were coerced with drugs and alcohol after expressing a disinterest in sex with them.

[@AutisticChristian]

1. First of all, the layout with Morgan in front of the antlers is hilarious 2. When her husband (forgot his name, don’t care, hate him) talks about hugging and kissing leading to sx, I feel like I wouldn’t want to date someone who refuses to show physical addiction because they don’t believe they can control themselves to stop at hugging and kissing 3. I listened to a podcast be a sexologist who said schedules are a GOOD thing, although she isn’t a Christian. It’s about communication and preparing yourself so it isn’t awkward and you can communicate beforehand about what you want to do

[@randolph4421]

I'm still a Christian, but i also think a lot of us who grew up in a religious household, be it Christian, Muslim, Jewish, what have you, know this stigma and trauma around sex. It's funny to laugh at these people and all but it's an actual problem for some people.

[@randolph4421]

Ethan thank you for the end there sir, saying it's ok to be religious or weird. Obviously these people are onna different level and have their own problems to work out (like we all do) but thank you for being respectful and tasteful in your well balanced criticisms.

[@jenm1]

I honestly think Ethan’s intention is to highlight how harmful this is :(

[@OGimouse1]

And it's not just trauma--like one bad practitioner did a bad thing. It's an absolute institutional and systemic problem that continued to leak its way through Westernized law--and I'm just talking about sex education being banned long before the abortion debate. And because of that stigma and the absolute lack of proper sexual health information, it gives rise to attitudes of "asking for it" and being "unable" to be raped by your spouse (48 States) or your body rejecting fetuses/insemination only in the case of "true" rape, etc. etc. etc. that gives all of those coercive-at-best inroads that lead to sexual discovery being on the back of trauma housed in a culture where you are expected to "get closer to God" by white-knuckling it until it's "not worth" reacting to. Because, you know, it's impossible to orgasm when being raped. Judaism and Islam are actually a bit more sex positive than Christianity (and the three of them have all the same origins, Jesus appearing more in the Quran than any other religious text) and have heaps more doctrinal protections specifically for women. Culturally, they've gone the same way Catholics, Mormons, and Southern Baptists have with regards to who has the power and how, but Christian literature is devoid of all protections of sexual violence against women *except* they have to marry their rapist if they get caught. I mean, it's a cultural problem with modern words but it's been a long-seated and long-seeded institutional problem with ever-entrenching systemic problems. There's nothing wrong with conservative values, especially if they're something you share. There is everything wrong with using sex as another perpetuation of the toxic ideologies that the best way to tame a bitch is to breed her--and you ain't anything until you've done it.

[@randolph4421]

@@jenm1 you probably right, and he made me laugh while doing it hahA

[@luxuscarnage4828]

I have so many Evangelical Christian friends who have sexual issues due to trauma. I know one person who I grew up with in a Pentecostal AG church. She escaped from the madness just to be shamed by her husband who was sexually abused by other religious bigots. Most of us who grew up with the whole "pearls before swine" ideology are still dealing with sexual issues.

[@hihi-og6nm]

I'm actually so concerned for Morgan. Honey, you alright?

[@Sgublaka94]

Maybe it’s an american accent but to me she always sounds like she’s being medicated with narcotics or something :/

[@evansecencefan1435]

@@Sgublaka94 it's not the accent, it's how slowly she speaks and how seemingly difficult it is for her to complete sentences. It reminds me of what people look like on mismatched psych meds

[@clair8880]

@@Sgublaka94 She’s a grown woman that talks like a teenager, or even somebody younger. Idk if it’s intentional (to appear more young - disgustingly enough that’s a thing in evangelical American Christians) or a result of trauma, so disassociation and regression. I’m not a psychologist so I can’t know and I can’t diagnose people. But the fact is…it’s pretty weird. She’s almost in her 30s and that’s how a 15 year old speaks.

[@liyahliyah694]

@@Sgublaka94 yeah I thought the same thing as well like she sounds sleepy or bored or something id

[@hyacinthmoon6289]

Oddly enough I once had a therapist and I told her my partner and I struggled because I’m just not a super sexual person (thanks childhood SA!) and she ALSO told me to start scheduling sex days so I could “mentally prepare for the act” for the entire day. I stopped seeing her and am currently searching for a new therapist. 🙃

[@malchickoleander]

Christ that's disgusting. Sex/intimacy scheduling is a great tool for some couples, but it's meant to be a general guideline. Some people have high sexual needs, others don't. Scheduling CAN BE very good for people. SCHEDULING DOES NOT EQUAL CONSISTENT CONSENT THOUGH. People are so dense, I really truly hope you and your partner find a good balance and a better therapist!

[@uglysongsforuglysouls]

It took me a long time to realize not every therapist is right, or understands you. That they can let you down just like anyone else. I thought you could hand yourself over to any therapist and they’d help you be the best you can be. So, OP, I’m glad you’re searching for a new one (although it is stressful to do.) and anyone reading this, follow your gut feeling, even in situations where someone is meant to help you.

[@n_torop]

Sometimes scheduling is recommended to make a person go more in the mood for it (it can look like different kinds of practices for everyone) but just mentally preparing for the act sounds horrible 😢

[@thebestcompletely9078]

I got this talk a lot growing up, and that led to an extremely unhealthy relationship with anything sexual, rotating between extreme fear and repression, and pushing myself into things I wasn’t comfortable with. It’s just a really unhealthy way to be raised

[@thebestcompletely9078]

Like the way Morgan’s talking about her attitudes of having to mentally prepare herself… is just so unhealthy and reminds me of a lot of conversations I’ve had

[@ana_bananass]

@@thebestcompletely9078 "mentally prepare yourself". You usually do that when you don't really want to do something, or it's hard and needs preparation. The way she's saying it sounds like she's not enjoying sexual intercourse at all, and needs to prepare herself for an uncomfortable situation. She looks like she has to do it, noy like she wants to do it.

[@frownyclowny6955]

EXACTLY!! I was in a very similar boat! The internet exposed me to sexuality at an early age, but when my parents discovered it they yelled and chastised me, resulting in a deeply traumatic experience. Ever since then I’ve struggled with sex and feeling comfortable and confident in my own body. Christianity and the feeling of some omnipresence watching my every move only worsened my repression and my self-loathing. Despite my mom still trying to push Christianity onto me, I’m overall a FAR happier person without it. I’ve grown to be more mature because of me exploring my sexuality, which is something my parents never even tried to explain nor help me with.

[@leahflower9924]

They usually put all the responsibility on the females to be chaste if the males do stuff they're forgiven at least in general

[@Kanik_Crow]

I was brought up that way as well, it's never good thoughts to put into someone's head at such an early age where that will affect their whole life.

[@marykateandnoashley]

It takes years to unlearn religious guilt about sex. This shit is so bad for you. There are logical reasons you can teach your kids and teens about when it comes to abstaining and being safe. Telling them sex bad, evil sin hell blah blah blah has no logical counter and will sit in their psyche for the rest of their lives. This topic always turns me into a reddit atheist despite being agnostic

[@dysmissme7343]

💜

[@dysmissme7343]

Even if it’s not explicit guilt - a taboo on talking about sex, sexuality or sensuality can fuck you up big time. Because young people end up with no language for, or understanding of, boundaries.

[@meghansullivan6812]

Omfg that last sentence god TRUE

[@advisorywarning]

Raised in the church- this is SO true it makes me very very sad. And my mom was generally sex/positive for a Christian woman.. as far as trying to teach us that you shouldn’t feel guilt or shame about talking about sex or having sex after marriage and that sex is fun & great and encouraged us to be open about sex- with her if we wanted but especially with our partners. However, just even growing up in the church where we are taught that sex before marriage is one of the worst sins, has caused me to have sooo much shame about sex- whether it was as a teenager, or just hooking up, or even now as a 28 year old, having already been in multiple long term sexually active & romantic relationships, in a 4 year long happy relationship- where we are extremely open and comfortable communicating about everything involving sex. The guilt REALLY sucks and it’s really hard to get over. Even while I’m really enjoying myself during sex, thoughts of guilt/shame (I shouldn’t be doing this, etc) will flash through my mind... and especially after sex, there is usually always guilt, not at the forefront of my mind but lingering in the background. It’s very unhealthy. I have also been SA’d in the past, and I know that has something to do with how I feel after sex sometimes- but I’ve done a lot of therapy and healing on that front. I always feel very open & safe with my partner, I hardly ever have triggering thoughts about my SA before/during/after sex, and the shame is almost always religious in nature. And it is truly awful and difficult to get over. I hope I can be a better teacher to my children (I have a son & daughter) to have healthier views/beliefs about sex as they grow up and to understand (and avoid) what misogyny & internalized misogyny looks like in all forms.

[@Grace-no3sn]

Most Christians/Religious people aren't like this. Most of us are sex positive. Nowhere in the Bible does it say that God will send you to hell for premarital sex or marital sex. I would appreciate if you stop judging us based on these people. I'm sorry if you've ever had a bad experience with Christians and that they told you this. Most of us aren't strict and are okay with sex, we aren't scared of it.

[@alingoodtime]

the way she's avoiding eye contact with him but constantly darting her eyes over when saying something to make sure he doesn't disagree makes me so uncomfortable. i hope she's okay.

[@quitethenon-binaryfuss8596]

"say no to your hormones" that's what I did too (this is a trans joke)

[@tatafromthehood5573]

LMAO 😂

[@komalraina2845]

Lmao

[@Rose7576_]

Omg 💀

[@tyra8805]

BYE!! This is so funny 💀💀

[@racoonnoises5054]

I'm stealing this

[@abcaruso]

i have one foot in the fundie snark community (and was raised christian), and the way that Paul and Morgan talk about sex is all too normal in the christian community. in that circle, the woman is expected to put out whenever the husband wants and "follow his guidance" in all aspects of life. it gets to a point where christian women keep their feelings and opinions to themselves, because pleasing their husband is seen as a wife's #1 priority. if a christian man cheats on his wife, the first thing these people wonder is if she was honoring her husband enough. it's sick, man, and it absolutely takes a toll on somebody.

[@alisaurus4224]

Look up the Chris Coleman case. He murdered his wife and two sons to be with his mistress, because divorce would’ve cost him his job as Joyce Meyer’s security. Afterwards his father said the wife should’ve been more sexually available to her husband so he wouldn’t have had to look outside the marriage-blaming her for her own murder and that of her two kids. Horrific

[@tonichan89]

@@alisaurus4224 oh HELL no... that is vile! ...Welp, I have to look into it now 😩

[@UnusAnnus3]

Respectfully, what is the fundie snark community?

[@Jordan-nw4sj]

@@UnusAnnus3 fundamental Christians are often called fundies by those who’ve left the religion, or as like a mocking term. The Duggar’s are a good example of a fundie family.

[@alisaurus4224]

@@UnusAnnus3 people who snark on the fundamentalist religious community, mostly the one in the US, and often by ex-members

[@Pa5an1]

I’m an abuse survivor and that mentally preparing reminded me of my situation so much. I was a teen, he was an older adult in a position of power and whenever he made me call him to meet up with him I’d try to mentally prepare beforehand. And I also feel that “saying no is not an option” a lot. Luckily I wasn’t in an environment like Morgan that actually supports this bullshit and eventually I managed to get out of there and drag the dude to court (he had don’t that shit to multiple girls for about 20 years). I really hope Morgan is okay, but what she hints at is just very uncomfortable cause it sounds so familiar

[@MintyVoid]

Ohgod i feel really bad for the lady. To be 5 years into a marriage, plus how many years BEFORE that and to still be nervous about speaking your mind to your life partner?!?!?! Thats scary and depressing.

[@primroseprom]

Paul & Morgan got married in July 2016, they met in November 2015. They knew each other for only 9 months before getting married, so honestly I’m not entirely surprised they turned out this way. Personally, 9 months is NOT long enough for someone to decide whether or not they want to spend the rest of their life with someone. I feel like you really need to know someone past the honeymoon phase of the relationship, take the time to get to know their good, bad, and weird sides, and THEN decide whether or not that’s the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Now, I’m 19, so I got Limited Life Experience, but as a general rule, I’ve found that you should never decide whether you want to spend the rest of your life with someone until you see how they react when they’re being incredibly inconvenienced. It’s always important to see how someone acts when they’re annoyed, inconvenienced, or when they don’t get what they want, especially when they really wanted it. Do they get upset? Do they make a scene? Do they take it out on others? Do they take it out on you? Do they get violent? It seems incredibly obvious to me that Paul & Morgan never took the time to see those sides of each other (possibly a deliberate choice on Paul’s part cause I wouldn’t put it past him), and so now that Morgan’s seen how he acts if she speaks her mind and says something he doesn’t like, she decides to just not speak her mind because she doesn’t see leaving as an option.

[@babyvia6712]

The way that Morgan talks about her relationship with Paul and the brief glimpses we get into her thoughts and mindsets is alarming. She’s not the person to be giving advice on healthy relationships because she still seems to have a lot stuff she needs to work through.

[@Chillaxes]

Someone else talked about a live were she admitted the 'sinful' relationships she was in before were more pleasurable but she has settled

[@Mandy87Marie]

@@Chillaxesthat honestly would explain a lot

[@primroseprom]

Paul & Morgan actually provide an incredible example of why abstinence until marriage does not free you of any responsibility in regards to becoming knowledgeable about sex, kinks, fetishes, boundaries, consent, etc. Even if you and your partner aren’t planning on having sex just yet, it doesn’t suddenly mean you don’t have to discuss it. It’s important to bring up what your likes, dislikes, kinks, fetishes, and boundaries are if you’re planning on having sex with someone, whether you plan on having sex with them tomorrow, or five years down the line. It’s painfully obvious that these two did not talk about sex much (if at all) during their relationship leading up to their marriage outside of the whole, “I’m not planning on having sex until marriage.” I mean, the way these two talk about premarital hugging/kissing with partners and how they treat it like a slippery slope. As if one minute you’re hugging, then the next you’re kissing, then you’re making out and whoops- you’re having sex now! Paul and Morgan likely view having a sex talk with your partner the same way. As if one minute you’ll be talking about your boundaries and then the next you’ll just be going at it. And I get it. If you're talking to someone who you know, trust, love, and are, most importantly, attracted to, about the things that they're into, it can be hard not imagining doing those things with them and that leading to sexual tension between the two of you. But if you seriously cannot hold yourself back from fucking your partner long enough to have a serious, adult conversation about whether or not the two of you are sexually compatible in the first place, then you need to take a step back and work on yourself and your impulse control before you enter a relationship with another person. And I doubt they make much room to talk about their sex life since Morgan doesn’t feel like she can always speak her mind to her husband. It definitely gives the vibe that Paul doesn't give much thought towards what Morgan is and isn’t interested in sexually and is mostly just pursuing his own pleasure. Hence why he talks about post-marital(?) sex being, “Whenever you want,” and Morgan literally going, “Well…” Implying that Morgan isn't having sex whenever she wants, and with the addition of them talking about Morgan having a a lower sex drive than Paul, the conversation leans heavily towards the implication that Morgan is having sex even when she does not want it in order to placate Paul's sexual wants and desires. This in addition to Morgan describing how she has to get herself into a certain headspace before even having sex with Paul? And I get this, too, I personally can’t get into a sexually charged state of mind at the drop of a hat. Sometimes you know you want to and just need to get the rest of your body to catch up. And there’s no shame in that. But the way she describes it as if it’s something she needs to prepare herself to *endure* rather than *enjoy* is disturbing. But yeah. TL;DR, if abstinence until marriage IS something you, a friend, partner, or family member may be looking into, please keep in mind/remind them that it’s not an excuse to not be knowledgeable about sex. It’s important to have those talks because not only is it just good communication, but it’s important to know whether or not you and your partner are sexually compatible. And if you’re not going to have sex with them, talking to them about it is the next best thing.

[@zashiki_warashi]

omg please watch their "wedding fail" video. they talk about how she literally runs away from the altar to go vomit. before she got with Paul she used to post music videos of her covering secular music and they were pretty well produced. but it's crazy to see how much she changed since then. it was clear she embraced her sexuality..until she met paul and she's like a different person now it's crazy. her music videos are on a channel called "you idol"

[@theomacer3094]

Sex can cause life which is always fatal

[@flamingfoxx]

Holy shit. Seeing it play out like this and other people reaffirming that this is shitty really does help me believe myself in my own experiences with my ex. That 'get out of sex free card limit' thing was horribly relatable. He'd get pissed and start guilting me if I said I didn't want to have sex too much, and whenever I did, he would just leave and go home. So the only way I could spend time with him was if I essentially bartered sex for base level affection. I'm a child sexual abuse survivor, some things are very triggering for me, and when pushed too far, I go into deep disassociation where I'm functionally blackout drunk/high/psychosis, not really coherent or able to make decisions, and often don't remember very well. Any person with even the smallest amount of humanity would see someone in this state and try to help them, or at the very least just leave them be. Nope, it was actually the perfect opportunity for him to not have to do all that pesky coercion. Didn't realize until he jokingly showed me a video of me completely out of it on the floor making absolutely no sense. He later showed me a video he took of his friend getting sexually assaulted, expecting me to think it was funny too. He broke up with me a week later because of how horrified and disgusted I was at him. Worst part is, if he hadn't broken up with me, I'd probably still be with him. If your partner ever repeatedly tries to make you do things you've made clear you didn't want to do, leave. I know, 'it's just a mistake', 'they just forgot', 'I'm overreacting' 'I'm depriving them'. No. It's manipulation, intentional or not, and it's not okay. You are the only person that will ever be able to say what you do and don't do with your own body, and anyone who tries to convince you otherwise loses all respect and credibility

[@OkaroShinn]

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry you went through that but glad you walked away with the strong desire to be an advocate for yourself

[@mracula1667]

I bet they’re the kind of parents that would excuse their son’s vicious bullying with a “boys will be boys😄”

[@FocusedFighter777]

And the kind of guy that has zero problem forcing himself inside of her while she sleeps. You'd be surprised how normalised this is too.

[@eg816]

1. he looks at her with so much hate in his eyes it's insane. 2. i feel like because they got married before sex and now they have an insanely unhappy marriage, they want to convince others to do it too.

[@kruegertcg9830]

This is the case with a lot of unhappy hetero traditional marriages. Rather than update their belief system or find a different person/lifestyle that makes them happier, they double down and try to convince young people to go down the same road as them, reinforcing the fantasy that marriage and gender roles are the only path to any semblance of happiness.

[@LavenderLily608]

@@kruegertcg9830 but it can actually be a good way for some people. I do not think most Christians are claiming that this specific way of romantic relationship is making everyone guaranteed happy, but I think they want to provide a structure that can make people feel saver and more loyal in a relationship. But regardless of what other people think, everyone knows what they feel in their hearts and that is they want to be loved and to love. And people are just figuring out their way and how to do this. Everyone wants to find ways to be content in life and find happiness, but no way or relationship is going to be guaranteed the “right “ “only” way to happiness. Most things might not bring us ultimate happiness. But I think what’s more important to the Christian belief(saying this as a christian myself) is the belief in God and Jesus and not finding happiness, but doing what is right and loving others just as God loves us and we love ourselves, regardless if it might or might not bring us happiness. Happiness is not the intended goal, but doing what is right can bring you ultimate joy. You know how not everything we need to do in life brings us instant immediate happiness and pleasure, but joy is not about that feeling of pleasure but about the immense feeling of belonging and being loved and loving therefore others too, this immense feeling of peace. There is a distinction here that I wanted to highlight, because I think this point of view of relationships and marriage is so misunderstood and generalized in what people think Christians think or mean. I agree that when it is forced and unwilling, it is a recipe for misery, and no human could sustain that happily. But there is so much more nuance and depth to the idea of marriage and why christians belief and believed in this, even though there is a dark side to this too, there is light in this too, and it actually works for some people. I just have hope and think that loving people (not boundless) but really caring about them is most important. Jesus Himself said that loving God and others is the most important and actually the only command we have to follow, because all other things(like the commandments) follow after that. Not one christian or even person (if they are actually honest and real with themselves) will find that point when everything is suddenly perfect and all happiness. In life it usually goes up and down and we learn to deal with the challenges and changes as they come. My point of this long dreaded comment(Thanks if you made it this far reading🌻) is that even though the moral standarts of the christian belief may seem unrealistic and unreasonably high and miserable, most christians are humanbeings and acknowledge how they feel and are real about what is in their hearts. Most christians do not fake it and pretend or it would not be a real testimony. With that said, there are real testimonies of people who married for a lifetime and only had sex within that marriage, who were not sugarcoating their life and presenting it as better than it actually is, they were real about it and I respect that, and can see how this could work out for people. I think the loyalty and loving aspects of marriage and being only meant for one person is beautiful, but indeed in this world and being a human, really hard and not all too realistic. I can have understanding for people who do not belief in this or see it differently for themselves.

[@LavenderLily608]

@@kruegertcg9830 I want to bring the understanding that most people (not just Christians) want to show how/what they want to be and strife to be like, even when this is not really who they are at the moment. But they think they could or want to be that in the future, so with this idea in their head they show and pretend to the outsiders like they are, so this could be their reality. People want to create this reality for themselves to cope with the negative or unwanted things that may be in their lives. It can be difficult and uncomfortable to completely reveal honestly and bluntly who you really are while some parts are broken and imperfect, and are things most people do not want to see. In short; most people are not 100% real about who it is that they are, because there are parts that they want to change and aren’t yet changing or are in the process to change. But when you start to realize that no one else has to decide who it is that you are and only you can truly be who you are, only you can choose and decide and know who you are and God know who you are, then you start making decisions purely because you want to that are real and showing your real self, not without shame but it is real. You’re not focused on what other might or might not think or what they are doing, you focused on what you want to be about and who you are. And to us, what we do at the moment now, does not determine who we are forever, because life is a process of learning and changing. Have hope, and faith in yourself that you are magnificent and created and loved with meaning and purpose, regardless of what others say or want us to do. Know that the world is like this, most of what you see is not what is real, you have to see it play out for a lifetime to truly know if something is true and real. This is why we might never truly know all the truth.

[@KLee1028]

@@LavenderLily608 wow, that was all over the place. So you’re trying to convey that some Christians are good and sometimes this purity culture thing works out? And also that all we want is to love and above all, God wanted us to love? Normally comments have a point to them, like a reason for what they’re saying. What are you even saying?

[@justinhart2831]

Sometimes it seems all I see on my YT feed now is videos saying that women who have tons of premarital sex end up unhappy and alone and regretting they didn't just wait for marriage.

[@spilledink849]

Oh my god Paul looks like he's guilty over a series of murders every second he's not talking

[@jasmine-ruff-puff9951]

They're just so open about how he's controlling and she's scared to say no, like it's normal.

[@iaminevitable_]

That’s good ole religion for ya

[@missp498]

Thtas exactly what they are taught. Sadly@@iaminevitable_

[@hopethornhill3905]

I’m forever grateful that, even though I was raised with the love of Jesus, my parents never demonized sex. My mom talked about it with me! How it felt good, how it was fun, how it wasn’t something to be ashamed of. I was taught about waiting until marriage, and I did, but I had a healthy grip on what I wanted and casual sex wasn’t it 🤷‍♀️ I waited because I wanted to, simple as that.

[@CaitlinSydney]

Love this! I hate when people explain aspects of Christianity so badly and make it seem like we’re all like this; it’s awful and not what it’s about

[@hopethornhill3905]

@@CaitlinSydney right?? Sometimes I seriously wonder what Bible people are reading, because it’s not the one I know lol

[@HadalStreetlights]

The Bible is many big complicated texts with a lot of room for interpretation. People have used it to justify the abuse they dished out. People have trauma as a consequence of that abuse. It isn't invalid to have religious trauma, but sometimes people extend that into generalizations about people of a particular religion, religious people in general, and even theists in the more broad sense. It sucks! That kind of generalizing isn't a good coping mechanism and it doesn't solve issues.

[@britterthecritter4531]

exactly!! I’m also religious and waiting until marriage but I feel no stigma towards it. My boyfriend is also waiting, we’ve kissed and made out but won’t do more until there’s a wedding ring. I’m waiting because i GENUINELY WANT to, I just don’t want to share something so intimate with anyone until I shared my vows with them. I don’t want a body count other than my future husband. But I won’t shame anyone else for doing it, it’s everyone’s individual choice :)

[@BlehhhXP]

@@hopethornhill3905that’s the thing, they aren’t reading it (then they use it to justify homophobia)

[@localanxiousqu33r]

i actually had a youth group leader tell me the same thing that old lady said to morgan, and followed it up by giving examples of times she didn't want sex but her husband literally coerced her and i think about her every day. hope shes doing okay now

[@briefcayc]

I genuinely love how casual Ethan is about sex. Like it’s cool having, like, a role model type person who just educates people and normalizes that. Love u Ethan

[@alingoodtime]

you should check out maddie dragsbaek! she focuses mainly on the pleasure of women / people with female anatomy, and having a positive relationship with sexuality overall,while being hilarious :) it's definitely great to find people having such an open discourse about sex / pleasure

[@briefcayc]

@@alingoodtime ooh I’ll check her out :) thanks for the recommendation!

[@ChristianCatboy]

It truly is healing to the soul

[@frogofalltime]

ok but if you're a christian and you believe god never makes mistakes and your body is made in his image then like...........isn't sexual desire like ...... what god wants for you??? idk dude I'm not a sex anti but it's weird to repress feelings god gives you if you believe he's always right

[@bunnygirl893]

Ditt namn är lite sus

[@frogofalltime]

@@bunnygirl893 kanske lite 🤔

[@ryanburks2480]

They’re psychotic for sure

[@pokemonfanthings4444]

@@ryanburks2480 not psychotic but brainwashed

[@genericegirl0]

They believe that’s the devil “tempting” them

[@SweaterWearingaTree]

"sex is alright, but I really is wish I was dead." - Paul

[@Hip.Username]

i lived this life for several years, i got married before i was ready because i was an old maid to my family (20s) and i was dating a guy who seemed nice but was rushing to have sex and lock things down so we got married less than 9 months of meeting. he changed pretty quickly once things were official. it was especially rough because i'm demisexual so i have no desire to have sex if i don't feel an emotional connection (that fizzled tf out after things changed), so i didn't want to have sex. but after going to a church family therapist, i was told exactly what they said in their video, that i just need to "try to prepare mentally" even if i don't want to because it's not fair to withhold that from your husband. as someone with ptsd from assault, i can't tell you how alone and helpless i felt, i was surprised that i started tearing up hearing this couple say these things it triggered those memories of absolute despair. oh and i also went undiagnosed with ptsd for 4 years thanks to church therapy, lol. it was an experience, i give it a jesus/10, would not recommend

[@taeblends]

I'm sorry that happened to you. I'm Christian and I'm not currently in a relationship with any guy. I'm also not gonna rush or get married just for the sake of it (peer pressure is a real thing). Lots of people might make fun of me, sure, but I'm waiting for the right person. I believe if something's meant to happen, then it will. And if it doesn't? I'll accept that. Plus, I'd rather strengthen my relationship with God before growing a relationship with another person. How can I expect to have a God-fearing husband in the future if I don't commit to that as well? Also, big warning flags to me that the guy was rushing to have sex. Glad you got away from that. One thing I disagree with nowadays is how people are letting sex rule their lives. Random hookups, one night stands, having sex after the first few dates, it literally never stops. Sometimes I feel like the world keeps pushing us to do that, to be controlled by our impulses. But honestly? Abstaining is so freeing. That includes porn too. Too many people have become slaves to it, have become addicted. I don't identity as demisexual, but I sure won't be having sex with anyone that I don't feel emotionally and spiritually connected with in the future. So, I (at least partially) understand where you're coming from.

[@AddyOkay]

@@taeblends People who have hookups aren't letting sex rule their lives. I personally wouldn't, but you shouldn't judge people on what they do that doesn't affect you. God doesn't want that. I can promise you that he cares more about someone being a good person rather than someone having pre-marital sex or hookups

[@shanna3148]

@@taeblends "letting sex take control of their lives"... " having one night stands" 🙄 I guess you're right. I met this guy through a dating/hook up app and I put out on the first date... we are now happily married for years and raise 6 kids so I guess that'sone way it took over my life. 🤷‍♀️😂

[@cigaftersx]

I feel bad for u but if this triggered something then why watch it?

[@Hip.Username]

@@cigaftersx because i can't predict the future i guess lol, i said i was surprised i felt the way i did, meaning i didn't know i would

[@jenm1]

Paul is keeping Morgan from learning because she’ll realize she’s allowed to say no

[@raskov75]

Wow. The phrase "agreeing to be raped" will not leave my mind as I watch this.

[@davidtaylor142]

Every time I see this couple I get the overwhelming impression that the girl spends most of her time locked in a room alone until her husband lets her out for the occasional video

[@darienwells8038]

Or at 2:30 on monday wednesday friday for The Intercourse

[@herefortheshrimp1469]

It’s so tempting to feel bad for Morgan….maybe they do have a point about not giving into temptation lol

[@KaylaNoelle1]

Lmao, no wonder she literally vomited at the altar.

[@UnusAnnus3]

@@KaylaNoelle1 did she really? Is it because she’s potentially not straight?

[@JasmineTea127]

@@KaylaNoelle1 My heart breaks for her. We may be looking from the outside, but there's something seriously **wrong** with their relationship.

[@johnmobley9369]

You shouldn’t feel afraid to tell someone who supposed to be your rider die that you don’t want them to use your body for pleasure when you’re not in the mood.

[@londonA393]

as someone who was raised christian, yes, this was what was forced down our throat and i believed 100% it made me naive and unprepared for the world, i was an easy target for everyone. this is very dangerous to spread

[@ferd3007]

I feel you, I'm 28 and i'm quittin my religion and leaving and abusive house, and I feel like a child unprepared for the world, who never had even a relationship or any kind of intimacy before and it just sucks... ):

[@KAl-vf1dz]

I'm 27, and I deconverted almost 5 years ago now, but the road is slow and I keep uncovering layers of religious trauma, the sex stuff being pretty high up there on the list. I got myself a few books this year to try and heal some more...you're NOT alone. ❤🤝🏻❤ Easy and gentle does it ❤❤

[@luannesantana9430]

I’m so sorry that that happened to you. These two seem like their relationship is very unhealthy and they shouldn’t be giving advice to anybody. The Bible teaches how to protect and care for women we are precious and also sex is a good thing, it’s natural, God gave us the ability to feel pleasure on purpose and any guilt or shame is not what God wants you to feel. Jesus came to set us free from guilt and shame and if he doesn’t condemn you then no one has the right to do that.

[@luannesantana9430]

I’m so sorry that that happened to you. People who are religious are exactly who Jesus doesn’t approve of they put give hundreds of rules that are impossible to follow and then make people feel guilty and shamed and this is not the true message of Jesus. He loves you so deeply he wants to take care of your wounds. He has plans to prosper you not to harm you. To give you peace and joy and freedom from religiosity. I know you will get better and continue on the process of heeling and letting go of the consequences of the people who traumatised you.

[@arbisofficial]

Oh man this hit so many red flags that it was almost triggering. Feeling like you only have so many "get out of sex free cards" as you said is a huge sign that a partner, either currently or in the past, has violated your right to say no, so now you worry about saying no "too many times" and upsetting them. I know they're both shitty people but no one deserves to feel that way in any relationship, much less a marriage...

[@jordanrayne3585]

When she mentioned only being able to say no so many times I instinctually glanced at my partner. I just grit my teeth and do things so often because of the guilt and how he's said "you always say no!" And stuff. Because if I don't just get him where he needs to go I can feel at least an hour where the entire air is thick with his disappointment and sadness. So I just do it. Even if I cry during or after, it's not like it ever stops anything.

[@xobunnyfangsxo]

@@jordanrayne3585 I hope you can leave that absolute loser. That's not a relationship and that's not healthy, you deserve to be listened to without him whining like a petulant man-child.

[@Sumi-fr2nu]

@@jordanrayne3585 oh i’m very sorry for you for putting up with this hope you don’t stay in that relationship no longer.but it is awesome that you realized this you are very strong and brave. Wishing the best for you...

[@jordanrayne3585]

@@Sumi-fr2nu Thanks, I'm actively working towards getting out and restarting my life

[@malihakarim1696]

​@@jordanrayne3585 please leave the relationship that's not normal

[@asksomeoneelse98]

I actually feel a modicum of sympathy for Morgan after this video. She’s gonna have a real rough go of life.

[@sciscapes]

Imagine being unable too please your wife, unwilling to learn how to be better at it, and still thinking you had enough authority and knowledge on the subject to preach about it in the internet

[@TheElectricitychick]

they're both terrible but man does paul give me the creeps! i love your delivery as always and the way you balance silly jokes w serious criticism

[@TransWomanTalksOnYouTube]

He seems like a typical creepy youth pastor

[@thezeoxys9180]

The "so... communicate" part from her, oh my god. I hope she's able to get away from this toxicity because the whole "submit to your husband" thing does make it so that women end up in situations where they are not allowed to speak up when it comes to anything.

[@katicopter]

morgan b like: its tooootally fine with paul if i dont want to have sex. unless its a monday, wednesday or friday :/

[@kittencomicslol]

The way Paul looks at Morgan, and just cuts her off and how she talks about him, is genuinely terrifying and it makes me super uncomfortable

[@m0byd1ckl3ss]

As an autistic person a sex schedule sounds amazing especially if you’re busy and/or have kids

[@dawnbreaker1104]

Hey fellas, just remember: It can’t be sex before marriage if you never get married in the first place ;)

[@petyreyvind9963]

Lmao I love you 😆

[@babyvia6712]

I don’t like Morgan, but I hate the way Paul talks to her and about her even more. It makes me feel bad for her and I especially don’t like feeling bad for her.

[@Zazabazaa]

I'm currently in a loving relationship with my childhood friend, we were each other's first crushes, we were important parts of each other's beginnings in this world, but we didn't actually start dating until we reached our early 20s. We're not each other's first kiss, we didn't have our first time together, in high school we were separated and experienced our own love lives first. Do we regret that? No. We've both look back at the past, wondering would have happened if we started dating sooner and we both agree that if we had done so it would have been a train wreck because we both had trauma that we had just begun to address in high school and it negatively affected those around us. Plus as somebody who's first relationship lasted about 6 years, I found that my lack of experience outside of that damaged my self worth and made me worry about how I could possibly be good with others when my sexual development had been so based around one person. Now we're both going into this relationship with more emotional and sexual maturity, with a better understanding of what we want and how to communicate with each other. We're not perfect, we both have anger issues for a start, but we have the respect and understanding to learn how to work with each other so we can improve on this. Experience is vital to a healthy relationship.

[@theonewiththeflowericon]

oh man this turned from cringy to sad way faster than expected

[@patrickcraig8022]

“The key to a healthy relationship is treat sex with your partner like work” lol

[@OGimouse1]

And I love how they had that whole blurb about how there needs to be "healthy" sexual attitudes even in these kinds of marriage, then go on at length about how it's about making sure he's happy with everything from how she's dressed to her "careful" use of not wanting sex.

[@MangoMakesMoney]

Every video that they make looks like an apology video that commentary KZbinrs would gain millions of views on

[@birdseppuku6424]

The picture behind Morgan is amazing. These are the same kind of people who see Jesus in their toast and think it’s a message, so it’s absolutely fantastic that she accidentally gave herself horns

[@naomiloyola5467]

I grew up in a fundie community my whole life (I publically left my home church last year, but that's a story for another time). Dad was a pastor, uncle runs a well known bible school in the states, I went to youth group/bible study 3 times a week, ran the youth group later, went to missions school, the whole 9 yards. I was taken out of classes when we had sex ed talks at school, once I started going to public school because previously I was homeschooled. It's horrible how much of a conscious effort many fundamentalists take to actively not learn about sex, because the narrative is that when you get married then you will learn about it. Or, if you're a little more liberal, maybe when you're engaged. I was a 22 year old in university and I had no idea about anything regarding sex, sexuality, consent, and that led to a lot of unhealthy choices and circumstances. I wish this was less common than it is, but it is unfortunately super pervasive in fundamentalist groups :p

[@Nezsecretchannel]

As a Christian, I frankly don’t give two sh*ts about who’s in between your legs, before, during, or after marriage. Do what you want, love who you want, f*ck who you want. Just be safe and be kind. ❤

[@eduardsusai559]

You are not a Christian if you cuss. The Bible is pro-purity culture. And whats with this "do what you want mentallity"? The Bible says to not follow what you want, and follow the will of God

[@Ethan-qs7fo]

​@@eduardsusai559chill out

[@Mori575]

​@@eduardsusai559preach

[@bethanychatman9531]

​@@eduardsusai559lol you can't tell someone what their relationship with God is. What the hell?!! Lol. You don't seem much of one judging other's, that's also in the top ten of what not to do.

[@eduardsusai559]

@@bethanychatman9531 If someone says things that are blaspheming God their relationship is good?! If i cuss out my mother i dont have a good relationship with her, do i? And who am i not to judge?

[@francisgeistwald]

"It's a gradual thing" *me texting my friend* "So anyway I'm tired of being a virgin, can I... come over?" Not gradual. It was a conscious, direct decision after several years of actively "waiting until marriage" bc it had become so so toxic that my virginity was like this giant weight on my shoulders like a symbol of oppression and suppression and fear. After I lost my virginity, my mental state improved more than I ever thought it would - years of fear and anxiety felt like nothing anymore, it was so healing and beautiful (it won't be that way for everything and it's worth mentioning I chose the friend I messaged very carefully, it wasn't some rando on tinder and it wasn't a friend I thought would manipulate me or hurt me. It was still an important moment and who it was with was still important, but I am so so glad I did it and over a year later I literally have not regretted it for a single second)

[@francisgeistwald]

"Oh he doesn't love me bc he won't hug me or won't kiss me" my love language is physical touch, first off. Second off, it wasn't that. The way Christian men are raised makes them repulsed and terrified of sexual contact in any way. My trauma lead me up to that point (when I was in a relationship, not when i lost my virginity) to believe I am repulsive. Him being repulsed at touching me was very triggering and (besides me being a lesbian) was a big reason for the break up. I felt so disgusting just existing, I felt so disgusting for my wants and desires, I felt so disgusting for breaking up with him. It was absolutely traumatizing to grow up in Christianity and when I was watching people like this, they made it 100% worse. It's so upsetting that people are encouraging these deeply traumatizing things

[@snooganslestat2030]

It may sound odd but I found your 1st post really touching. Iv experienced similar to your 2nd post so I sympathise.

[@IhaveALLtheavocados]

I'm proud of you

[@catherinedean3796]

No because this is really beautiful. I envy the people who had positive first experiences, because EVERYONE deserves to not grow up with the toxic mindset that culminates from "waiting until marriage." I respect people who have the power to have mutually positive first experiences. Some of us are still working on unlearning the toxic mindset that fed into awful experiences. All this to say, it's really cool to see you had a great first experience ❤

[@a.I.y.]

im very proud of you omfg, I grew up in Christianity too and yeah it was awful but I just HAVE to say that imagining the look on your friend's face when they got that notification is so funny to me