Cinematic Excrement: Episode 76 - Fifty Shades Of Grey

Fifty shades of NOPE!
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VIMEO: vimeo.com/cinem... (If you can't find an older episode of Cinematic Excrement on KZbin, it's probably here.)

[@ryanc.6087]

You know, their are actually fanfiction writers out their that are not only talented, but have gone through the trouble of painstakingly crafting their own intricate fan universes, despite the fact that they'll most likely never see a cent for their hard work. Just felt like bringing that up.

[@steveknott4255]

sad bastards

[@gracekim1998]

Yep 😂

[@MysteriousMissViolet]

"I did actually read the book this time." Oh honey noooo.....you didn't have to do that. :(

[@gerbill13]

+MarielleWinks its his version of Sadomasochisim.

[@MinscFromBaldursGate92]

He did It for his fans.

[@robertjim7517]

"I actually read the book this time".......... Man, that deserves a like.

[@Blaqjaqshellaq]

Or a medal!

[@K.Marie119]

Lol... I read about half of it then DNF'd it. My fanfiction from 7th grade are better than that thing, even the edited version.

[@jbvader721]

The words that came out of my mouth were..."Why?"

[@nathaniellevesque2782]

Boy did Charlie Hunnam dodge a meteorite by backing out of this unholy mess.

[@chrismorris6865]

If he had accepted this role, it would've been the worst thing any Sons of Anarchy cast member had been a part of, narrowly defeating Kim Coates in Battlefield Earth.

[@NoxAtlas]

"I have finally found a love story worse than Twilight" 365 Days: "Hold my beer!"

[@OverLorD768]

"Or maybe he realized he was in such terrible movie and couldn't be bothered to give a shit" This. Actualy, both he and Dakota Dohnson almost literally said, that the movie is complete crap.

[@KidSnivy69]

Can't say I blame them

[@Thomasmemoryscentral]

Long before Sean released his Bottom 10 of 2015 films upload in preparation, I clicked on a link someone left in the comment section of FilmMasterAdam's Fifty Shades review where Dakota and the male lead gave their unpleasant experiences of the filming in an interview. Even the Christian Grey actor admitted he felt dirty after having to visit a real sex dungeon in preparation for the movie. So yeah, Robert Pattinson thinks Stephanie Meyer is nuts and hates Twilight and the Christian Grey actor feels violated after seeing a real sex dungeon to prepare for his role. These movies do share similarities a lot!

[@dvass7253]

+Thomasmemoryscentral That was me.

[@Thomasmemoryscentral]

oh well, thanks for that link. At least both these films now have a similar connection of an actor hating the experience

[@TheArceusftw]

+OverLorD768 And even more jarring is Christian gray in japan is voiced by Setto Kaiba!

[@HerrDeutschBlood]

The only way I'll ever enjoy Fifty Shades of Grey is that if it was narrated by Gilbert Gottfried.

[@DrZuluGaming]

+TigerTroll I want Anna narrated by Gilbert Gottfried while Christian is narrated by George Takei. That would make it worth it.

[@inferno9714]

+BalanceMessiah And have the Subconscious be Louis C.K. and the Inner Goddess be Lewis Black.

[@ElFreakinCid]

+TigerTrollUSA HOOOLYYY *FUCK*, IS THIS WRONG! But ho-ly HELL, is it erotic!

[@animeotaku307]

+TigerTrollUSA I still stand by something I once said; I'd only watch the movie if Gilbert Gottfried played Christian Grey, George Takei played Ana Steele, and David Tennant played the Inner Goddess and got a musical number.

[@ph89787]

Or Deadpool.

[@Jezzikah287]

If you think this movie is messed up, try watching the movie "Old-Fashioned". It was said to be the conservative Christian version of 50 Shades of Gray (if that makes any sense at all).

[@POLE7645]

Jezzikah287 And somehow, it's even MORE disturbing than Fifty Shades of Grey.

[@TheBonkleFox]

@@POLE7645 fuck mr. Glass and the beast. Shymalan should make a movie featuring the guy from unbreakable taking on gray and clay.

[@dvass7253]

Apparently, Kim Basinger has signed on for the sequel as Grey's former lover. I feel so bad for her. I knew that a relationship with Batman has unhealthy consequences, but GODDAMN!

[@justinriley]

Oh, how I wish Michael Keaton would show up in these movies and beat the crap out of Grey.

[@troyschulz2318]

Pretty sure its supposed to be a 9 1\2 weeks reference

[@jbvader721]

+Sting SniperScope 9 1/2 Weeks is f**ing Oscar-worthy compared to this garbage.

[@troyschulz2318]

jbvader721 Fifty Shades really really wanted to be 9 1/2 weeks but lacked, likable leads with any sembience of chemistry, creative and genuinely erotic sex scenes, memorable and iconic moments, Kim Basinger, and competent director.

[@gunmunz]

+D Vass The GODAMN Batman?

[@TheHeroOfTomorrow]

"My desires are...unconventional. Put on this clown suit and call me Daryl!"

[@joycescruggs3859]

Hey daryl

[@Godzillakingofkaiju1]

+TheHeroOfTomorrow Hi, Daryl.

[@coloneljak42_]

'Sup, D?

[@TheHeroOfTomorrow]

+TheHeroOfTomorrow To all the people who are responding to this--am I to assume you're all wearing clown suits? :P

[@coloneljak42_]

+TheHeroOfTomorrow Sorry dude, I only had a jester suit on-hand.

[@metademetra]

I would like to point out that Anna never signs the contract....but it is STILL in effect. For the love of God bitch RUUUUUN.

[@jbvader721]

Gives more credence to the whole "thinks like an abuse victim" point he's trying to make. Seriously, Bella had slightly more working brain cells than Ana.

[@CinematicExcrement]

By the way, DO NOT Google that tampon bit I mentioned if you value your sanity. Hell, don't do it even if you don't value your sanity!

[@HerrDeutschBlood]

Believe me Sean, my sanity had long been diminished by the relentless horror that is "Cool Cat Saves the Kids". BTW any plans on reviewing it?

[@scrubsfan1986]

+Cinematic Excrement As you said this is basically about a victim and her abuser, the way he goes about it is a step by step guide to cults. You should watch The Film Theorists episodes about this movie/book. It's is a channel ran by Matthew Patrick who also does Game Theory.

[@hotshot1265]

+Cinematic Excrement I skipped this movie the moment it came out I prefer to keep my sanity. Thank You.

[@gunpsycho]

+Cinematic Excrement I avoided the hell outta this movie the instant it came out, and avoided the books. I'll never understand what fans of this book see in it, and I sure as hell don't wish to find out.

[@jbvader721]

+Cinematic Excrement I avoided this piece of sh** from the moment I heard about it. Twilight was bad enough and it's hard to believe that this is actually worse. I cannot believe I live in a world where this is allowed to exist. Just how horribly the book was written is not even funny in a terrible way. It just makes me weep for humanity and angry at the fact that a bunch of mom's made this mess both a bestseller and a box office hit and we're getting f***ing sequels because of it!!! Good f***ing job, world!!!

[@TheGuardingDark_]

Ok. What the fuck? SO many good Fanfics out there written by talented young writers. Protectors Pride, Poison Pen, literally everything Cywscross has ever written. And THIS gets a movie?! Wow. Just. Wow.

[@isdrakon9802]

I agree, I'd petition if I thought they'd give a shit and also not give us a shit movie

[@RHatcherMD]

Fifty Shades is not Fanfic though. It may have started out like that, but the published draft no longer has any ties to the Twilight universe.

[@TheGuardingDark_]

@@RHatcherMD She changed some names to avoid copyright. But basically every character has an easily identified Twilight equivalent. Its Twilight Fanfiction. First word to last.

[@RHatcherMD]

@@TheGuardingDark_ By That Logic, The Lion King would be 'Hamlet fanfiction'. Ripping off something, taking heavy inspiration from it, and writing a story set in the same universe are two very different things.

[@TheGuardingDark_]

@@RHatcherMD Yeah, pretty much. Dude. It’s Fanfiction. You’re not gonna convince me otherwise. Go find another wall to slam your head against.

[@Zildjian459]

When you said that you read the book I said, "Oh Lord have mercy." I tried reading that atrocious crapsterpiece and could only stomach 6 chapters. The grammatical errors were too much to continue as well as the plot moving at a snail's pace in frozen molasses. I never saw the movie and I'm not going to; it was more fun watching you tear it up.

[@linda10989]

Zildjian459 You got a lot farther than I did! Once I started laughing at how badly it was written, I couldn't stop

[@arvinroidoatienza7082]

MY INNER GODDESS

[@NikkyKicks]

Yeah, you’re description of a D/s dynamic isn’t too far off the mark. I think it’s slightly oversimplified - there’s an exchange of control and the Dominant has as much power to stop a scene as a submissive if they become uncomfortable- but yes, the submissive does have actual control even when it doesn’t seem like they do. I’d also like to point out that Fifty Shades ignores aftercare completely. Aftercare is basically the part after a scene where the Dominant reassures the submissive and comforts them after whatever intense thing happened, and helps bring them both down from the high of the scene. It can also be just as important for the Dominant because it’s likely they just did things that would be considered assault outside a scene and that can take an emotional toll on the Dominant - making sure their sub is ok can be vital in soothing any anxieties they might have. Not to mention people in D/s or sadomasochistic relationships get off in the exchange of control and inflicting/receiving pain while Ana clearly never enjoys either and this book makes me so very angry as a person into this kind of shit. Basically BDSM is like boxing - when both people agree to it, it’s fine, but when only one person is into it it’s assault, and you should probably make sure everyone gets some tlc and first aid after.

[@arvinroidoatienza7082]

Yeah to the point that one fanfiction reader had to remind EEL Of that and she hastily adds a paragraph for it.

[@Hannahgs]

THANK YOU. No reviewer I follow has pointed out the blatant abusive nature of their relationship and how it isn’t at all what a real life BDSM relationship is like. BDSM is all about consent. Safe words, aftercare, discussing boundaries, having a time and place for the BDSM activity but letting the other person live their life on their own how they want. This became a best seller because it is just as much a “crazy, exotic sexual fantasy” as it is a lifestyle fantasy. Women who want not only a man who might actually sexually please her in a different way, but also a life of luxury and adventure. Not disparaging these women at all, it’s a fantasy. Not a well written or even a very good fantasy, but a fantasy. It’s like how young girls read books with a Katniss type lead. It’s an escape from the boring life we know. It’s why young girls loved Twilight. You go from being a normal, probably outcast, girl to suddenly becoming the most important girl in the world who is desired by these beautiful rich mysterious men.

[@Genin99]

I think your instincts are right about this being a victim/abuser relationship, because that was the vibe I got from this too. Christian Grey always struck me as a sexual sadist instead of a guy with a fetish.

[@kinagrill]

THat's what a sexual sadist is tho. What he is, is a damaged person with a need to inflict harm on others, and try to hide it behind 'oh but it is BDSM!' and misses that mark by a mile.

[@vankai06]

Ana's decision making is every fathers worst fear.. its the stuff of nightmares..

[@anikmonette2140]

Well, then don't shelter your daughters: the main character not knowing what a buttplug is in her twenty something and not knowing how to be confident in herself is a major, potentential set back...

[@karanvirkooner1993]

the 50 Shades trilogy made half a billion dollars and the first one even got an Oscar nomination I’m at a loss for words

[@NJGuy1973]

4:18-4:20 "Oh, the e-mail rolls along, on the river..." "Dear Strong Bad, "My boss wants me to submit to BDSM, but my inner goddess says no. What should I do?" "Crapfully yours, Ana in Seattle." "Well, Anana Daiquiri, maybe your e-mails should have a not-submitting to stupid metaphors! As for your boss, as my main man Mancuso would say, 'Whatever makes the cold ones flow.' So keep sending me your e-mails, and I will continue to show you how you're doing it wrong." "Preeow."

[@regiman222]

10:41 People have pointed out if he were unattractive and poor this movie/book would be an episode of Criminal Minds or possibly CSI (especially after that serial killer line)

[@LaineMann]

And Criminal Minds is much better.

[@anikmonette2140]

There's no attractive criminals in Criminal Minds? I actually remember a few...

[@FadishtaFish]

smeaghead: do not google tampon scene me: pfff you don't tell me what t- OH MY GOD WTF

[@azraelbatosi]

Just remember; this(and twilight for that matter) book served as a fantasy for millions of women. Yes, women are sexually/emotionally both much simpler and much more complicated than either most men or even women truthfully realize. I wouldn’t advise men to use Fifty Shades as ANY sort of seduction handbook because while certain women may subconsciously desire certain aspects of this fantasy, nothing here corresponds to any sort of normal male/female relationships and the book(s) shouldn’t be looked to as an example. I’d also say, as most have noted, these books don’t represent BDSM. Though I’m not personally familiar, I’ve been told the author basically got the whole concept and execution wrong.

[@arthurfine4284]

"You're the complete serial killer..." So, Christian Grey is the Zodiac Killer?

[@TheBonkleFox]

Nah. The origami killer seems more fitting

[@tristanhartup4936]

I was thinking more an unlikable version of Patrick Bateman from American Psycho

[@anikmonette2140]

@@TheBonkleFox I'd say Ted Bundy. Hell, they even have similar looks!

[@georgeray1906]

​@@tristanhartup4936On the contrary I think Christian is an even more psychotic version of Patrick Bateman.

[@jbvader721]

Well, Jamie Dornan did play a serial killer in The Fall. And believe me, it's better than this garbage.

[@pk1645]

Fifty Shades: Crap. FS Darker: Double crap. FS Freed: Triple crap.

[@georgeray1906]

Put that all together and it's a hextuple crap sundae with urine as the sprinkles.

[@TheCamSays]

YES. A Shockmaster Joke. "She fell on her ass. She fell on her fucking ass!" I'm glad I found this channel today.

[@edwardmontoya50]

Fifty Shades is what you accidentally wake up to way late in the Cinemax channel back in the 90s.

[@KyleNorty]

Love that ending zinger, seriously, Dakota Johnson is giving way more then this movie deserves.

[@jbvader721]

Dakota Johnson herself has said that she would get drunk just to get through the sex scenes. And I can't say I blame her. Especially considering what a clusterf*** shooting these "movies" were.

[@luigiman8728]

Cheer up smeghead, yeah it got an Oscar nomination, but it got even MORE Razzie nominations!

[@DemonBoy3223]

So let me get this straight using two examples: Two David Fincher films, _Gone_ _Girl_ and _The_ _Girl_ _with_ _the_ _Dragon_ _Tattoo_, both of which are based on bestselling novels, both make over $369 million and $232 million at the global box office, whilst _Fifty_ _Shades_ _of_ _Grey_ makes *$571* *million*??!! What has happened to this world?

[@jbvader721]

+George Bean I know how you feel.

[@Yeen125]

I say give it a decade or two and both _Gone Girl_ and _The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo_ will be remembered as cinematic classics while _Fifty Shades of Grey_ will just be remembered as Showgirls 2.0 (except not as good).

[@roberttreacy8271]

George Bean I also know how you feel.

[@Achillez098]

"100 freaking times this bitch flushes. She's always flushing! I mean her face, not the toilet" Is there a difference?

[@bradwolf07]

+Achillez Possibly, but that would require some careful examining.

[@nachgeben]

Super duper years late to watching this, but I like your emphasis on the comparison between this and Twilight. Was Twilight original? No. Was it good? No. Did Meyer make an honest attempt at a story, world building and character development with only inspiration to guide her? Yes. EL James couldn't even attempt THAT.

[@dimplesd8931]

EJ James stole the 50 shades open source fan fiction, did some clunky editing, then published it as if she wrote the whole thing herself. So yes, she is a asshat.

[@tomfisher9089]

Dear Smeghead A small heads up on Merengue. It's pronounced MER RENG GAY not the delicious concoction that tops certain pies. Don't you just hate people who watch an entire video and pick out a silly mistake. That's me! OCD and soo proud of it! Big fan of your reviews btw and they often make me LOL. Especially loved Left Behind. I used to be a Christian years ago and I feel EXACTLY like George Carlin about it all now. Keep them coming Smeg!

[@lehahiah81]

fifty shades of grey seems like it's been out much longer, but then again the concept of time escapes me.

[@KidSnivy69]

First time I'm watching smeaghead while being a subscriber.

[@a_pathy]

Welcome to the folds.

[@KidSnivy69]

Chris Li Thank You

[@markshulusky6680]

Credit where it's due, "Anna's" inner monologue made the book the success it was. I wondered how E.L. James would make the material palatable to a wide audience. After reading it I knew; it's just romance novel wish fulfillment with some solid kink.

[@DissidentPeasant]

A Strongbad reference!? A reading of this schlock to stock music?! Dude, I love it. I love it all.

[@TheZerox500]

7:23 To be honest, that reference was much more hilarious because it was an actual accident. It's hilariously awful, you can't help but smile

[@catspaw3092]

Holy shit, the female authors are basing Bella & Anna on themselves? Because they were the Plain Janes in real life that never got the hot guy? So they lash out by writing about plain girls getting the hot, powerful rich cool guy who is basically, controlling, emo, angst, stalker am I missing anything?

[@tristanhartup4936]

I think you got it covered

[@catspaw3092]

@@tristanhartup4936 thanks what Meyers & James didn't count on was the backlash their books & characters were going to get. They're basically saying it's ok to be like Bella & Anna "Um no it's not these two women were in abusive relationship." James even called Fifty Shades of love story no it's not a love story it's a shit story written by a woman who while not having the looks felt she should've been entitled to a hot guy with money.

[@EvanSol919]

Probably that but also Bella/Anna are audience/reader surrogates. They're women with no personalities so YOU can insert yourself into the story. YOU are now the girl every guy wants and end up with an incredible handsome and wealthy man.

[@monicaaboites5053]

@@EvanSol919 Bella is in fact selfish egocentric and ungrateful in the books. At difference with Anastasia who truly is a white page. E.L James only made Christian Grey more annoying than Edward

[@random__itch]

600 likes and 0 dislikes. Yaaaas! Another quality review, sir!

[@a-z4278]

I just saw the trailer to 50 shades darker or whatever the fuck the sequel is dark and I can't wait for Sean to review it!!

[@scarface44243213]

This guy is medication away from becoming Patrick Bateman

[@thehoosierfortheUK]

He's I guess, Patrick Bateman lite.

[@MonochromeTrouble]

I don't know, Bateman was actually likeable.

[@scarface44243213]

+MonochromeTrouble Truuuuuuu

[@troyschulz2318]

I like to dissect girls, did you know I'm utterly insane?

[@jbvader721]

+DeAndre West I was thinking more on the lines of Buffalo Bill but I get the feeling that discount Edward (I refuse to call him Christian Grey for this very reason) doesn't skin his victims after killing them and wears their skins in private.

[@dvass7253]

Top 5 impressions that Sean should have done while reading those excerpts from Fifty Shades:- Nicolas Cage- William Shatner- Jeremy Irons as Profion- Eddie Redmayne as Balem Abrasax- John Travolta as Terl

[@ph89787]

And I'll give anything to see the lot of them in a movie.

[@tyrantgregcagkaiju71]

I never thought to request you to review FSOG.

[@ninavale.]

It always amazed me that Ana can consciously Communicate with her subconscious and that it has glasses and face and body..On another note Edward had a good reason to warn Bella off. He was a frigging vampire and a)vampires are meant to be secret so her knowing puts her in danger b) as much as I rolled my eyes at the lion/lamb metaphor it's not exactly wrong. Vampires feed off human blood, Mayer kept that part of the myth, so humans are their prey of sorts. Vampire will always desire blood and might accidentally hurt their human lover if they're not careful. But once you make them human it sort loses that element. Yeah, Christian is a sociopath, but he doesn't seem aware of that too much. He's not warrning Bella off from him because he's a creep, but because he's into BDSM and it apparently has to be such a secret(again, with vampires it made sense. In most books and works that involve magic and such there is secrecy involved) for god knows what reason. It's just a kink, I don't think it would affect Christian's career if people knew. I mean tabloids are writing about celebrity and rich people sex lives quite often and most people just don't care.

[@gracekim1998]

What AMAZES me is the fact that this is listed under ROMANCE. 😅 maybe saw in 2018?

[@poker8100]

8:46 Sean’s expressions I swear

[@heatherridge2730]

50 Shades of Grey is like 50 Shades of Not Giving a Crap.

[@kelseyreed6100]

Can't wait for the 50 Shades Darker review​.

[@JustinWilliams367]

Jack Harrington, Nick Canino, Jeremy Jahns, Chris Stuckmann, FilmMasterAdam, and TheFlickPick have this as their number one worst film of the year also. Sean

[@Godzillakingofkaiju1]

+Justin Williams And really, why wouldn't they? It's demeaning towards women, gives BDSM a bad name and has one of the most unlikable male characters since Edward Cullen from Twilight.

[@animeotaku307]

+Matthew Cool To be fair, like any other genre, 90% of all romance is crap. It also so happens that quality and popularity don't always overlap. That's not to say you can't dislike a genre, though; I don't like romance either. I prefer action-oriented stuff or horror.

[@petehill7280]

+Justin Williams And Chris Stuckmann. The top 10 worst movies lists of both he and The Smeghead are surprisingly similar.

[@ianpierce232]

Great Minds think alike Mr Williams.

[@NickCanino97]

+Ian Greene Exactly! This movie is not only an abomination, but an abortion to cinema!! Fuck this sorry excuse disgrace of a film to hell! >:(

[@nisie_neri]

If you think Fifty Shades was bad, watch Fifty Shades Darker. I just watched it and I was screaming in horror and yelling "What the hell?!" Does Anna not have a brain or self respect?!

[@richardmorgan1588]

You are so spot on with this one! Your channel is very funny too! I laughed out loud several times!

[@anitahamilton4543]

I think this may be my third or fourth time watching this. Whenever I need cheering up/a good belly laugh I watch this.

[@chobits543]

So, about the BDSM: you are 100% correct about the true relationship. My partner is also my Dom and 75% of the time we are like every other couple. We fight, talk about bills, and cuddle. You hit the nail in the head when you said it was a master/slave relationship. Slaves lose more of themselves and normally are abused. Three basic types of subs exist: bedroom, 24/7 (which is what I am) and slaves. I changed the rules often (every 6 months or so) as I gain and lose trust. I've been with my dominate for 3 years now, you can not have a successful relationship without that. Something you didn't touch on is that some d/s couples that never have sex. They are "non fluid bonded" there is normally is no kissing or touching of genitals of any kind in these relationships. Normally they are good friends whose romantic partners don't like the idea of BDSM. Another item that neither you nor the movie touched on is aftercare. That is the main reason behind d/s it helps build trust and love.

[@KidSnivy69]

Interesting facts. Pity this book and movie portrays this idea so poorly.

[@chobits543]

+KidSnivy69 I agree. I have been reading the book (lord help me) and I started to break it down and worked out it sounds like a 15 year old virgin who has read way too much Cosmo. I have to constantly correct people who tell me what BDSM is who have only read this book and that's all the reference they have. :/ my master and I find it annoying because people who base their BDSM relationships around this book think he is my whole world and all I do is serve him.

[@KidSnivy69]

May you and you master enjoy yourself, and don't let this piece of shit franchise get you down

[@tinabalducci]

Been waiting for this for so long!

[@gregorydavis8144]

cried laughing bro... you have a gift, true talent. good job!

[@regiman222]

15:51 people seem to mix up explanation/justification with excuse, just because you have a reason to do something fucked up does not make it okay that you're doing it, it's probably still fucked up

[@sydneyslaughter7163]

Duuuuuuuude this movie would’ve been great if there were two phantoms following Anna around the whole time, acting like Genie from Aladdin

[@alexturlais8558]

but crap was like half her personality!

[@ancientmangos7396]

Half of zero is still zero.

[@alexturlais8558]

Ancient Mangos Half of 0.001 is still some

[@Tardis945]

+Alex Turlais Butt crap.

[@mfwdead]

I've been waiting for this... for a long time...

[@LazyCat010]

"Crap" and "flush." Sums it up nicely.

[@KevinThePilgrim]

And Sean watches The Cinema Snob, so happy now!

[@cutiepuppy4427]

Yay!!! Wait, did he reference Brad?

[@KevinThePilgrim]

Yes. You can see when he goes with the KZbin page look. Next video to play is "The Cinema Snob review of The Exorcist II"

[@tonykoslowski5010]

+Kevin H. Pilgrim Actually, it was his review of Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers.

[@KevinThePilgrim]

Tony Koslowski Oh, you're right.

[@LaineMann]

@@KevinThePilgrim And that doesn't mean HE watches it(although I think he might), it means YOU watch it. Video suggestions are based on what you watch

[@MisterTutor2010]

Anastasia Steele? Very funny. What's you're real name? :)

[@roberttreacy8271]

MisterTutor2010 Sounds like a porn name.

[@skeltheshapeshifter2697]

Also, Anastasia STEELE. Christian GREY. They're both shades of gray. The author probably thinks she's so clever, doesn't she?

[@allisonelizabeth6596]

@@skeltheshapeshifter2697 Belladonna Silver

[@Happymali10]

Apparently the director originally attached wanted to make a dark, realistic version, showing how crazy the protagonist was. It got shot down and the director was booted.

[@daelen.cclark]

The books would be even more hilarious if Mr. Grey used marmalade as a lubricant.

[@chrispriest4131]

Thanks for continuing to upload even with all the craziness going on with KZbin. Hope you havent been to effected

[@annabethjackson4728]

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS!

[@maiblizzard6693]

Fifty Shades of Twilight smutty fanfiction.

[@Doorisessa]

You are completely correct: that contract is not legally enforceable. In fact, if anything, it would act as evidence against Grey in a court of law -- in many places in the west, BDSM is still not technically legal even if it is rarely prosecuted. Further, even though contracts are sometimes used in BDSM, it is /never/ the case that those contracts are intended to be legally binding; rather, they serve one of two purposes: to explicitly state limits and obligations of both parties (so no "but I never said x!"), or to add to the illusion. Or both. But anyone genuinely trying to convince you that a BDSM contract is a legal document you are signing is trying to take advantage of you.

[@carldevries9108]

Seeing as how I'm 4 years late, no one will read this comment. But man you had me laughing out loud with the Shockmaster reference. You have made me laugh out loud on several videos. Well done.

[@BriGuyIL1980]

So......inner goddess....... Also, Secretary did this BDSM Boss plot better

[@Betta66]

The dude even had the same name.

[@jbvader721]

"9 1/2 Weeks" did this plot too. And that was back in 1986. Not to mention, Mickey Rourke's character also has "Grey" as his last name (well, it's spelled with an "a" instead of an "e" but semantics). And Kim Basinger's character walks away in the end and STAYS away.

[@gracekim1998]

that's reassuring at least, despite not knowing and not really want to know too much about what 'BDSM' is......er to keep it short, i can't handle everything 'Adult' only somethings, if you like that stuff, that's fine. it's just again there's some 'adult stuff' i genuinely can't handle is all😅

[@gracekim1998]

@@jbvader721 WHOA.... ok. well to be honest last names can be spelt differently and stuff but i get it

[@Yahiko25]

How did this do better in the box office than the Kingsman?

[@karanvirkooner1993]

Grahamfield25 They just made $3 billion dollars with the series

[@WalkmanWillWalkAllOverYou]

What?! Noooooooooooo!!!!

[@jbvader721]

Because there is no justice in the world.

[@Ruud_Brouwer]

"go for it, knock yourself out" no, that's not how it works ;)

[@emmaduncan2991]

wait. you "finally found a love story worse then twilight?" did you not see "Old Fashioned?"

[@gamestation2690]

And people say the Anakin/Padmé romance was bad.

[@animeotaku307]

@@gamestation2690 At least that one, conceptually, was fine. It was the execution that was awful.

[@EvanSol919]

If you want a more in depth analysis of 50 Shades, I recommend Folding Ideas. He did a 3 hour series of videos on the subject (plus a song!)

[@andresmartin67]

you are the best, reading 50 shades of chorizo just for this review... you deserve a monument saludos desde México tus reviews son las mejores!!!!

[@alledman98]

I'm just gonna say congratulations on the 32 subscribers gained between when you took **this** --> 1:15 screenshot and when I watched the video. And yeah, I paused and read the screen. There could have been an easter egg for all I knew! People have done that before!

[@WolfoftheAurora]

As a fanfiction writer myself, I am appalled that this...THING is so successful! I can and do write better than this! Good fanfic authors are few and far between, but they are out there. Maybe I should write a book about what goes on inside a good fanfic author's head.

[@gracekim1998]

i know....i hope you were able to do that book BTW

[@PenguinDT]

When I heard the producers of this film are attached to remaking Battlestar Galactica, I died more than a little inside.

[@lordbarristertimsh8050]

8:26 Thank You, Thank You for sticking it to the people who keep dog-piling on Rey for no reason!

[@LieslHeston]

I love how Polondbananasbooks is in the video. My KZbin subscriptions are coming together.

[@Monothefox]

50 Shades is the 'saga' that broke the Read It And Weep crew. They got one movie and one-and-a-half book into it before giving up. They say they will consider doing the rest if someone bribes them with $ 1,000, but whom would be that sadistic?

[@MonochromeTrouble]

I'd do it if I could afford it.

[@BloodyRomance1313]

A dream theater shirt??? You’re the best!!!!!

[@JamesMeteoriteHall]

7:30 - Mr Grey's subconsciousness: "She fell on her arse...She fell flat on her fucking arse!"

[@romero329]

7:26 "You've ruled the world long enough, Sid Vicious."

[@arvinroidoatienza7082]

The "not today" part was a reference to Jamie Forman playing a serial killer before. Yeah

[@jbvader721]

The Fall is proof that Dornan can act. Fifty Shades of Garbage wouldn't let him.

[@arvinroidoatienza7082]

@@jbvader721 thanks for the film title

[@zackfp0]

almost at 100 episodes man keep it up

[@stinger51505]

OH MY GOD! A SHOCKMASTER REFERECE! That was awesome and sent beer shooting out of my nose. It burns!

[@Dragon_Aoi]

8:28, when he says take note Ray Haters, what movie/show/etc. character is he talking about?

[@jbvader721]

Rey in "Star Wars: The Force Awakens".

[@jbvader721]

Rey in "Star Wars: The Force Awakens"

[@NicklasZandeVGCP2001]

10:37 Donald and Melania's relationship in a nutshell.

[@cheneethompson5756]

Once again, they're the President and First Lady! Lord help us!

[@Speculativedude]

Ah, I see you are both a homestarrunner.com AND an old school WCW fan. Nice.

[@JustinSimpson]

It's here!!!! It's finally here!!!! 😊

[@roberttreacy8271]

I can’t wait to see you tear apart Fifty Shades Darker limb from limb.

[@TheDraygon]

And there's a link to the Fifty Shades Darker trailer under the video. Fuck.

[@TheLakabanzaichrg]

The movie can be fun if you watch it with friends and make jokes about it Fun fact: Before the screening, me and my friends got searched, we at first thoughit was for smuggled snacks but they found them and didn't even bat an eye, it was about the half of the fil when it hit me: they weren't looking for candy, they were searching for dildos or something like that

[@RedDragonM1]

I know people in the kinkster community, and they hate hate HATE this movie. They have said many times that this is abuse, and stalking, NOT what the BSDM world is about!

[@aks8042]

'This started how this channel started- Twilight.' A perfect example of how you can go two completely different directions with crap.

[@shawnlusby1538]

I got the Shockmaster joke. I'm a fellow wrestling fan

[@oystersoup3434]

This book and story is a sad case of a socially-awkward, unattractive woman wanting to be desired by desirable men. That's what it boils down to in the end.

[@3Guys1Video]

I FUCKING KNEW IT WOULD BE FIFTY SHADES!