WORK DAY / DITL MUM OF 3 | VLOGTOBER DAY THREE..

[@Alex-sb4op]

That's such an expensive trip wow, definitely needs to be earned and not expected x

[@gigilou]

I feel for you so much with your daughter as mine is exactly the same. It's really since she started secondary school, she absolutely loved primary school & would do homework no problem and really enjoyed every aspect of school. She really is the opposite now. My daughter's school has a year counsellor with the year team & maybe your school can offer support in getting her to open up. My daughter's school does referral for therapy sessions too, very informal and just someone else to talk to. It's so difficult so my heart goes out to you 🥰 Congratulations on the new job ❤ xxxx

[@clairelou09011988]

thank you yes same really its such a shame isn it :(

[@sandrabourland5774]

What you're going through with Violet is normal. My daughter is now 25 and from 8 years old until 22, and it was a constant battle. I learned to read her mood just by saying hello or good morning. The way she replied let me know if I could continue on or just let it go lol. The attitude, eye rolling, mood swings, the fighting would really get me down at times. It's soooo hard being a mom of teens bit especially girls. It does get better, but just know this is pretty normal, and we've all gone through it or are currently going through it. Xoxo

[@clairelou09011988]

Thank you 🤗

[@zoekirk7360]

You are a great Mum from what I’ve seen in your vlogs since I’ve been following for the last 5 years 🥰 you’re both fantastic role models for your kids you work so hard, never doubt yourself. Love these daily vlogs, struggling with this cold weather, more washing and the school runs let alone everything that you do lol xx

[@clairelou09011988]

@@zoekirk7360 ah thank you So much really appreciate you sticking around 🤩 Happy Friday 🍷

[@zoekirk7360]

@@clairelou09011988 happy Friday 🥰 we’ve made it lol 😆 x

[@ConfusedFlower-ww4tu]

Lovely to see Graham,miles and a glimpse of violet. Xxx

[@emmabarrell5556]

Congratulations on the job Claire, I think it will really suit you and you will be amazing at it!! Really well done you for being brave and stepping out of your comfort zone, it will pay off! Xxx

[@clairelou09011988]

@@emmabarrell5556 thank you 🤩

[@RainbowSummer11]

I dare not even look at my teen daughter some mornings, I can’t say anything right at time 😅 Year 8 I would hear from school almost every single day and there was constant detentions but it has got easier now she’s a bit older. You’re not alone in struggling with this x

[@clairelou09011988]

haha same! thank you i hope it passes :)

[@carlybenarbia9193]

I had the same with my daughter in year 8 she was online bullying my other daughter with some friends,had a trip and I didn’t think she deserved it,in the end she went but she just got worse after the trip and in year 9 ,thankfully now in year 11 with better friends but ,I have had a nightmare in year 10 too,it’s really hard as you just want the best but they case the bigger picture x

[@clairelou09011988]

@@carlybenarbia9193 yeah it’s so hard knowing what’s wrong .. hopefully we’ll get there with her 🙏🙏

[@janemarias6857]

You are a great mum and Violet might not realise it for a long time but you are teaching her great, essential life skills - we get out what we put in... 'the harder I work the luckier I get' (S Goldwyn) Again, as an ex Headteacher and a mum to a very 'naughty' daughter (all my boys were soooooooo much easier) I saw so many parents just taking the easiest parenting option. Loving the Vlogs xx

[@clairelou09011988]

@@janemarias6857 thank you, yes it would of been easier to just say yes.. but I couldn’t live with Myself tbh .. she needs to learn 😃🙏

[@naziabegum1836]

Hey Claire! My sister is 15 yearsish younger than me & my brother - she about to turn 18 but when she was in year 8/9/10 she was hard work! She wanted to be out with her friends everything was “well they do it” but honestly we all put our foot down & said no no no she wasn’t our friends at the time but me and my brother just knew what mischief she could get up it was fresh in our mind still 😂 anyway now she nearly 18 she thriving! Done great at school doing amazing at college about to pass her driving got a part time job & these friends from school some she still really close too but some well she not and we are glad about it! Keep preserving with her your her mum not her friend and ultimately it’s because we want them to have good successful futures! I feel like these teenagers years are so fundamental to how your 20s plan out! Also thankyou for sharing about Vi it’s not easy but least we all know we aren’t alone xxx

[@clairelou09011988]

@@naziabegum1836 thank you so much for sharing also.. it’s a hard time for these teens.. but yes it’s good to see a light at the end of the tunnel 😃🙌 so pleased for your sister xx

[@sam.t1470]

Can totally relate with the whole Violet situation. My 15 yr old is the same 2 detentions since the start of term for such silly things she also gets behaviour points aswell. It's her whole attitude of I don't care winds me right up!! We have numerous arguments the moods the back chat it's never ending.. which makes me feel like I'm failing. If only girls came with a guide when they hit teens 🙈.

[@clairelou09011988]

tbh yes the detentions are silly, but also the school is rather strict so they do get them for just about anything! yeah she's the same doesn't care! so frustrating!

[@clairehewick40]

Great vlog Claire 🤗🤗 I really hope Vi gets into some routine soon but I was same as a teenager and the school trip to London my dad refused too let me go boo hoo 😢 but it made me learn …… I’m now really close too my mum and dad EVENTUALLY!!!! 😂 but I was made too grow up really fast as my kidneys failed 2 weeks after my 18th 😭😭 have a great Friday love Claire from Bradford xx Ps Myles is super cute 🥰 and tall bless him 🤗🤗🤗

[@clairelou09011988]

@@clairehewick40 I hope so 🤞

[@EstherAndLife]

Just in case you aren’t already, I would look at seeing if Violets school has a school counsellor - perhaps she’d open up and talk to them more than you (Mums always get the brunt of teenage girl behaviour!) and might help her with her feelings, whatever she’s going through and just a safe space for her to rant. I’d definitely not be letting her go on the trip if it was my kid! 😂 It’s tough raising teenage daughters!

[@clairelou09011988]

@@EstherAndLife yeah i think they do good idea! 😃

[@alisonboyd8155]

How do you get on with all being on one level? We are single storey as well and sometimes feel that there is no space for anyone..and when they have friends over its worse!!!

[@clairelou09011988]

@@alisonboyd8155 I think we all have our own space tbh just because with the kids having their own rooms etc if they need privacy.. but yeah I suppose On one level it can feel abit much of friends are over.. I duno I suppose I’m just used to it now.. I can’t imagine not living on one level tbh 😂😂

[@hannahrichards2526]

Have you spoken to violets head of year & her tutor? My daughter is going to normandy for a week. believe me not every child goes on these trips. this is the first trip my daughter is going on & shes in year 9. Dont worry about her missing out. I wouldnt let my daughter attend a big trip if she had bad behavour.

[@clairelou09011988]

yes we've definitely had meetings with both already :)

[@Andreaod73]

That’s alot of money to spend on a short break with the school, I had to say no to trips half the price of that, as I was a single parent and had no financial support. I understand your reasoning on whether she deserves to go, and as you say I’m sure she’s not the only one not going. Kids will always say that to try and guilt trip you, especially as she’s had half a dozen detentions in three weeks. Must be a reason she’s playing up if she was otherwise doing well at school, maybe the people she’s hanging round with at school? Might not be the case but unusual to start acting up, if otherwise she was no trouble at school. I know teenage years are hard but maybe something is up, being her parent though, it’s hard as she’s not likely to open up to you unfortunately x

[@mandymaxwell3249]

❤

[@emme741]

Did her behaviour change once she started secondary? If so, could she be neurodivergent at all? My daughter masked until secondary as girls seem to, then once she started secondary it was too much and we’ve had a tough few years. She’s since been diagnosed autistic and now in a much better place. Secondary can be a massive trigger as it’s so different and triggering for ND kids that they just find it all too much. Just a thought I mean no offence! :)

[@clairelou09011988]

@@emme741 I honestly don’t know.. but yes only since this year tbh, so middle of year 7. She definitely hates school every bit of it.. which is a shame because she loved junior school.

[@emme741]

Might be worth speaking to school and seeing what their thoughts are, maybe there is things they can put in place for her to help or they can give you an insight to if she’s struggling at school xx

[@jasminisdabest]

Nigel Farage? I’ll say no more

[@clairelou09011988]

@@jasminisdabest 😂 I didn’t vote reform don’t worry

[@emilygilbert9892]

I know you definitely do not want parenting advice and you are an AMAZING parent but sometimes its useful to have different perspectives, my son is neurodivergent, I doubt Vi is, but as a result I had to go deep into parenting techniques etc and one of things I learned was that all behaviour is a representation of a challenge, for example she might struggle with impulsivity or she might be showing off to friends etc as a way to be more popular, also a lot of schools in my opinion these days have insane rules and she may have a strong need to assert her independence, some teens struggle being told what to do, what I am trying to say is that its not necessarily her fault, and also rewards and punishments have been shown to not work well for lots of kids, as motivation has to be intrinsic. Its prob hormones playing havoc, I was a bit of a pain in those days but schools were quite lax, it didn't make my behaviour worse, I guess I just grew up. Hopefully it will sort itself. Relationships are the priority. Its such a hard balance and everyone has different approaches based on their own experiences so there is no right or wrong wayxxx

[@clairelou09011988]

@@emilygilbert9892 I actually don’t know tbh, but what you said about showing off and being assertive as well as super stubborn is Violet down to a T and yes rewarding and punishing doesn’t really work either with her.. we can take phones , tablets away and she’s just not bothered. Hopefully with time we can get to the bottom of it. 😃

[@emilygilbert9892]

@@clairelou09011988 Its so hard when parenting techniques work for one kid, but not another, if she is neurodivergent she will likely be very creative and independent minded, and traditional techniques do not work, they often do not have a lot of respect for authority, if she is, she is also likely to have a lot of anxiety, but might mask it well, I haven't seen anything to suggest that, but its a very broad spectrum these days, and hard to see in girls. I never thought I was but only recently realised I likely am, and I was exactly like Vi at school lol! But tbh it can be any child not just neurodivergent, maybe ones who have high sensitivity etc. Relationships are the key and maybe involving her in discussions about how to move forward with things, ask her what she thinks you should do about it, and explain that the school has these policies to manage a huge number of kids, and its annoying etc but what can we do together to try to solve this, some people will think this is mad, but I have been working with a mentor for years and this approach does work. So many kids are dropping out of school these days, they are not catering for so many kids, but hopefully you can sort it out. Maybe there is a subject and teacher she really likes and maybe talk to them about it, its such a hard time, but you will get through it, lots of luckxxx

[@laurajane9871]

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