Climbing Uphill - Twisted Broadway 2015

Twisted Broadway Melbourne 2015
The State Theatre, Arts Centre Melbourne
"Climbing Uphill" The Last Five Years
Featuring Rob Mills
Directed by Chris Parker
Music Direction by James Simpson

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Brilliant!

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When you come home to me I'll wear a sweeter smile And hope that, for a while, you'll Okay, thank you Thank you so much I'm climbing uphill, Jamie Climbing uphill I'm up every morning at six And standing in line With two hundred girls Who are younger and thinner than me Who have already been to the gym I'm waiting five hours in line And watching the girls Just coming and going In dresses that look just like this Till my number is finally called When I walk in the room There's a table of men Always men, usually gay Who've been sitting like I have And listening all day To two hundred girls Belting as high as they can! I am a good person I'm an attractive person I am a talented person Grant me Grace! When you come home I should have told them I was sick last week They're gonna think this is the way I sing Why is the pianist playing so loud? Should I sing louder? I'll sing louder Maybe I should stop and start over I'm gonna stop and start over Why is the director staring at his crotch? Look at me Stop looking at that, look at me No, not at my shoes Don't look at my shoes I hate these fucking shoes Why did I pick these shoes? Why did I pick this song? Why did I pick this career? Why does this pianist hate me? If I don't get a callback I can go to Crate and Barrel with mom and buy a couch Not that I want to spend a day with mom But Jamie needs space to write Since I'm obviously such a horrible, annoying distraction to him What's he gonna be like when we have kids? And once again Why am I working so hard? These are the people who cast Linda Blair in a musical Jesus Christ, I suck, I suck, I suck, I suck When fin'lly you come home to Okay, thank you Thank you so much I will not be the girl stuck at home in the 'burbs With the baby, the dog, and the garden of herbs I will not be the girl in the sensible shoes Pushing burgers and beer nuts and missing the clues I will not be the girl who gets asked how it feels To be trotting along at the genius's heels I will not be the girl who requires a man to get by And I When you come home to me I'll wear a sweeter smile