Clueless American's Guide to the Champions League Final 2024

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Welcome to a clueless American's guide to the Champions League 2024 edition. Let me be your clueless guide and breakdown all the big storylines going into Europe's biggest footy tournament. Who are the pretenders, the contenders, and of course some sleepers for all the cool kids in the back.
Video partially edited by Luis Palmer
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[@Ven1997keyblade]

You should also mention that in Reus' first season for Dortmund he played the UCL final in Wembley and his last game for Dortmund will be the upcoming UCL final in Wembley

[@ezraezra2928]

Another interesting fact: Bayern Munich would have been the opponents of Marco Reus' Borussia Dortmund on both UCL Finals at Wembley. That is, as long as Real Madrid were knocked out by Bayern Munich in this season. That would be a perfect opportunity for him to win the Champions League since Bayern were totally mess right now.

[@tyronejoshua1613]

I'm from June 2nd 2024. Real Madrid was having a tough time scoring so the ref gave one of the Dortmund defenders a red card.

[@irvingodinez5782]

Good, the check went through.

[@Shihab907]

U thought u did something buddy?

[@dondesta10]

@@Shihab907 he did

[@JuanQuixote159]

shut up

[@user-ev6mx2ds9b]

Cry harder

[@snowycadet1714]

You should do a video where you compare English football positions and terms to American Sports positions and terms, for those clueless Americans.

[@xtrachillisauce]

Yes, like "overtime". No .. it's Extra Time! Overtime is something your boss grudgingly gives you at work when he's in the sh*t.

[@phlegmkessel4841]

Should be encouraging people to watch the Europa League Final, potential undefeated treble there.

[@someperson3883]

Leverkusen plays 2nd division Kaiserslautern easy W

[@SuperJJAlexander]

@@someperson3883 that's the DFB-Pokal final.

[@someperson3883]

@@SuperJJAlexander True. Woops. Just saying that Atalanta will be the coronation. Atlanta is Wednesday. Pokey I think is Saturday so that’s the coronation

[@BiggestMessiFan12334]

Nobody cares about europa

[@shivanshkumar4935]

and they lost...

[@KaijuofSteel]

Naw I can't believe he said that the PSG - Barcelona game was a robbery, Barcelona simply choked under pressure

[@vitormanuelfernandes5353]

He doesnt know ball. Atrocious take

[@vnzgrandcross3680]

It was robbery and Barcelona chocked as well

[@robertocaba5915]

Barsa bottled it, simple.

[@Mdksupreme1]

​@@vitormanuelfernandes5353FACTS!

[@nathyboi21]

Yeah, that Araujo foul deserved to get him sent off

[@SuperJJAlexander]

Real Madrid is also fan-owned.

[@BloodRider1914]

True, but it's somewhat of a restrictive structure which gives more influence to its wealthier members

[@SuperJJAlexander]

@@BloodRider1914 still the Qatari Reputation Washing Fund can't come and become owner of Real Madrid.

[@MaVOfficialHD]

Socios aren't the same thing as member-ownership like in the German league. Only for the wealthy, and you can't even become a socio anymore unless your father or grandfather was one before you.

[@marklower9383]

The ref had nothing to do with barca bad defense, how is the ref fault that they shoot only 7 times in the entire game, and only 3 of them going in the target, they had no plan for that game other than playing defense, if you want so bad to say the qatari bribed someone, say they bribed Xavi😅

[@nufcsam354]

Talking of PSG paying off the ref's you forgot the penalty in the 97th minute to rescue them against lil'ol Newcastle United in PARIS!

[@monogalaxia]

Yes, thank you!

[@lafoonxiii5311]

"Lil'ol Newcastle Utd"? You mean Saudi Arabia's lapdogs?

[@Luis-kv8zc]

Boys I'm a Wolves supporter so I literally have no eggs in the race, how can one be so ignorant to say that PSG robbed Barca in the second leg..? This guy waffles about so much sometimes 😭

[@BloodRider1914]

Barça fans are absurdly preeminent on social media, while real PSG fans are mostly Francophone so their opinions don't get as much exposure

[@vitormanuelfernandes5353]

He was much worse in his last vid

[@jordanford9320]

He's trying to push a narrative

[@BloodRider1914]

To quote FarleyTV in his recent Harry Kane video: "Joselu is a Stoke City reserve team legend."

[@Gliding-Admiral]

Put some respect on Dortmunds name!!!!

[@fishyfish6510]

Did bro just say that Real Madrid 2021 was arguably stronger than the current one? 😂 As a Chelsea fan that Madrid team was full of holes and players out of form and Zidane always loses to Tuchel. Ancelotti reinvigorated the Madrid dna

[@dryames4319]

He's clueless American fr

[@dislexyc]

Saying that PSG were nobodies before the Qatari came in very educated of you. Football history did, in fact, start in 2008

[@tpsam]

Pauleta and Ronaldinho a little bit They were nobody fr

[@leandrou100]

but they were bro lmfao

[@samuelschonenberger]

And all their fans are clearly all plastic especially those fake plasticy ultras That's the problem, when we use too many superlatives to create narratives. You can tell he has a recency bias and a social media perspective because at the end of the day he is an american fan looking at European team from afar

[@aam9216]

They were nobody. They were just some small club that Ronaldinho played in once. Can't change history

[@dislexyc]

@@aam9216 if 11 cups, 2 league titles and 6 second places is what a small club gets, then what the fuck is Tottenham?

[@TheGoldenApex]

As a Bayern fan this hurts SO FUCKING MUCH WHOLLY CRAP!!!!!

[@Ishin69]

skill issue

[@lafoonxiii5311]

As a Dortmund fan I was torn about who I wanted to go through. On the one hand, I would have preferred Bayern, as Real are fuckin terrifying, and it woudl have been so sweet to see another Klassiker final. On the other hand...it would have been *beyond* devastating to lose to Bayern again in the final, were that to happen... all in all, I'd say I'm happy with the result

[@benjaminlampp1993]

You know, every time you've said Dortmund was going to lose, they've won. So thank you for continuing to bless them with your disbelief.

[@diogo1612bodim]

They lost, real won, the expected happened

[@markuswendelboe8930]

Soo the asian is a Barca fan?

[@TjScarface91]

He said before that he isn’t

[@someperson3883]

He’s a Man United fan. He needs our prayers to keep him mentally stable

[@TacitusKilgore165]

​@@someperson3883He needs Ten Hag to stay another season. Let Ten Hag cook!

[@alpuzza]

@@TjScarface91 To be honest that's disappointing. If he was a Barça fan it would be undersandable that he kept saying the game was a robbery, most of the fans (myself included) are guilty of being completly biasaed in favour of our teams when it cames to judging the referees. This shows he just has no idea of the rules.

[@esp1rocking]

@@alpuzzanah he had 100% ball knowledge real robbed and Barca deserved to go through and that’s a fact

[@FedoraMan-Sports]

We need Marco Reus to win this game, it's too much for them to lose.

[@vitanus]

The ref robbed Bayern in their last two games vs Madrid, both in the SemiFinals. It´s not even up to debate, in both games the refs made extraordinary mistakes and both times Bayern went out.

[@guillermorendon2187]

Keep crying bum😂

[@mikeavina168]

Europa league and conference league are like ncaa nit tournament 😂❤

[@CallumDickson666]

Conference league for sure

[@Mdksupreme1]

You daft asl for sure

[@Yeeyeeenation]

People actually care about the Europa League unlike the NIT

[@daneh31]

Real madrid kun was a great line 😂😂😂

[@legendarybbg28]

Real madrid playing with 14 players vs 11 members of BvB . If u know u know 😂

[@nibrashislampiash3984]

Give money to bvb for more 3 players

[@sethvanpelt5707]

So psg paid the refs but madrid just has "plot armor"? Make it make sense

[@guillermorendon2187]

People still crying 😂

[@sethvanpelt5707]

@@guillermorendon2187 I'm not crying I'm confused

[@ezraezra2928]

If you don't know, remember that Marco Reus played his first and last season with Borussia Dortmund when the club played the UCL Final at Wembley. We could have a repeat of the same German Final this time around if Bayern Munich knocked Real Madrid out in the semi final!

[@badisheffey4550]

Great video, please keep. It up!

[@prodigyzpex5039]

your videos are like a movie i love them

[@Mdksupreme1]

His movies are extremely stupid movie, you're quite stupid for your comment too

[@oakm1260]

10:47 No, Tuchel took over half way through the shit season Chelsea were having under Lampard

[@krasmazov009]

I'm more excited to see if Bayer Leverkusen can actually complete the undefeated treble. But this champions league final is gonna be great as well

[@codcaptainswag]

Ancelotti has got to be the coldest manager out there today🥶

[@ElQuiroTandil]

Dude, Copa libertadores starts his round of sixteen in august... you shoud check it. South America's roughest football at club level

[@eumemo4814]

The grigos guide to the libertadores.

[@austinmarx]

You should do a clueless European’s guide to the nba playoffs semifinals

[@JoshuaHenelyThornhill]

You never fail to put a smile on my face with these videos bro

[@Mdksupreme1]

Then you're quite stupid

[@JPN423]

So pumped for it

[@Robbikelly]

Im not american but enjoy watching you educate americans. Then watch the reaction cideos fhat will inevitably come. Great video though!

[@bored_grape]

So many crap takes though

[@Mdksupreme1]

The video is absolutely awful, you have to be stupid to comment this BS

[@Mdksupreme1]

​@@bored_grapeFACTS!

[@mariosuly2299]

Bro love your vids. ❤❤

[@Mdksupreme1]

Then you're quite stupid

[@ElTalMax10101]

Amazing video brother 💪🏼

[@Mdksupreme1]

Stupid video*

[@BloodRider1914]

You know it's real when Carlo Ancelotti yawns

[@TharunReddy18]

Banger as always

[@Wallblue21]

if the de ligt goal counted it wouldve also been a robbery because the madrid players didnt react or anything because they heard the wistle.

[@thrashboidjentboimusic1055]

Which is why the mistake is blowing the whistle instead of allowing play and letting VAR review whatever happened

[@MrRiad-lf8xl]

It was also in the 14th minute. When the ref only gave 9 extra minutes. Then in 11 he said he'll add 2 more but proceeded to add 5, the match should have ended way earlier. Nothing was worth the extra 7 minutes

[@karelhamburg336]

@@MrRiad-lf8xlyou know it’s a minimum of added time right?

[@MrRiad-lf8xl]

@@karelhamburg336 minimum was 9 Ref than Added 2 (for celebrations and Var check) Once it reached 11 he indicated that he's adding 2 more minutes At 13 he doesn't blow the whistle. At 14 approaching 15 the Bayern goal happened He blew the whistle at 16 Any other team and this wouldn't be fair. But Real Madrid? Nah. It's okey Had he not added those extra 3 minutes from nowhere, and whistle at 13 like HE said he would. No controversy would happen.

[@ikeezzo]

Funny thing is everyone watching knows that in extra time real madrid is winning by default. there was no way this bayern team would keep up. They can deny it all they want we all know it would've happened.

[@sarbajoyghatak2142]

Plz make a video on the upcoming nba season for the clueless european

[@BiggestChungus21]

Toni Kroos is retiring. He deserves to win this champions league one more time. He’s such a legend for my club. The club with the greatest fanbase in the world. Hala Madrid

[@NR-fd9wv]

the football god gave plot armor to madrid, so our little underdog hero has to face the biggest villain in the final.

[@die4.chrs_]

I’m shocked you didn’t speak more on Jaden Sanchos performance, great video though🙏🏾

[@johnreidmusic]

Like I said last time, it's crazy I've never once seen a generationally iconic Real Madrid that was the best team in Europe, yet somehow, they always find a way through in Champions League, either from bad referees or luck.

[@marklower9383]

Really, never? Not even the one that won 3 in a row?

[@mashrafialam682]

What a bad take - The gelactico era, 2011-12, the threepeat team are all iconic

[@johnreidmusic]

@@mashrafialam682 Galacticos were before my time to be fair, so I can't judge. 2011/12? 1 trophy? Maybe iconic for Real Madrid fans in la liga, but definitely not for the rest of Europe. Threepeat team is exactly what I'm talking about: bad referees and luck. Without controversial calls going their way, unlikely they would have won.

[@captaincortez4917]

​@@johnreidmusic 2016, maybe, but not 2017 and CERTAINLY not 2018. P.S.: I'm still not forgiving Sergio Ramos for not only injuring Salah, but giving Karius a hit that would end the prime of his career.

[@johnreidmusic]

@@captaincortez4917 2017? Against Bayern? 2018, against Bayern and Juve?

[@manuelito6555]

I'm not a psg fan and I don't like PSG but you can't say their fans are plastics. A lot of them were actually in favor of Mbappe departure this year because they said he was toxic for the club. PSG won a european cup before the Qataris too

[@hoodiejalen366]

I am no longer a ‘Clueless’ American 🙌

[@volentastudios4673]

8:02 as a French marseille fans I was more then happy

[@stennostenno1346]

17:05 are you sure that it is just a recommendation. I thought that if the flag was raised, the ref had to blow the whistle

[@footballhighlightshd3681]

You should be ashamed of that palestine joke

[@pblmrt]

As much as Madrid has been dominating the Champions League like they're the Brady/Belichick New England Patriots, this Dortmund team gives me a lot of Eli Manning New York Giants vibes.

[@PratikLawate]

Berserk music at the end 💀

[@bored_grape]

Everytime I watch this guy, I get surprised how little ball knowledge he has and yet makes "guides".

[@Ishin69]

yeah joking about an ongoing war isn't it, chief.

[@timowayne6993]

I wouldn't say PSG have plastic fans but of course they wouldn't be in the semi final without new money. It's the biggest city in Europe and they underperformed for decades. Also Paris have only one top team compared to London, Roma, Madrid, Istanbul etc

[@timcervantes2957]

Are you doing a clueless for euros and copa?

[@sarahjackson8348]

Can we get a Cole Palmer wonderkid video

[@jonny2wavy942]

Kimmich got shoved in the throat, and de ligt was definitely onside for his called off goal. Very unfair on that decision.

[@lafoonxiii5311]

At the time of the initial pass de Ligt would have been offside, but he wasn't the receiver, that was Mazraoui, who was arguably onside (I think it's been pretty definitely discussed and determined that he would have been). Absolute disgrace to blow the whistle... c'est la vie.

[@lafoonxiii5311]

I dunno...calling Dortmund a "Cinderlla Story" is pretty disrespectful. Sure, they had a shit season in the Bundesliga, but that's only because the league is so strong, stronger than anyone seems to give it credit. I mean...look at Leverkeusen: Invicibles (not counting...ya know....Atalanta), Bayern and Dortmund both made the UCL Semis, and Stuttgart finished above Bayern, Leipzip above Dortmund... it's a premier league in Eurpoean football. Dortmund aren't Cinderella's, they're the fuckin Guilotine about to remove the Kings of the UCL's heads.

[@dislexyc]

Come on, man England is in Europe, they haven't moved their islands to another continent

[@lafoonxiii5311]

Was a joke, my guy

[@blackfalcon1324]

I would probably call the champions league bigger than the euros, idk maybe it depends on where you are.

[@nathankordelski9914]

So, Real Madrid are the New England Patriots when Tom was there

[@pollux119]

More like the Chicago bulls in the 90s but ya. RM have won 5 of the last 10 with a threepeat in there.

[@Dre-th8gh]

Don't forget to make video about Copa America 2024))

[@choupo-motingterrordaatala1124]

That Barcelona vs PSG part where he says, the ref won them the game is simply a lie, Barca just choked the game like the little bottlers they are

[@specsishere]

why is the nfl films score so great and works for the ucl

[@dead.inside.585]

Yikes! That israel bombing palestine joke is a low blow even for your standard, bro.

[@vitormanuelfernandes5353]

Bro barely knows any ball let alone how to make a joke

[@mr.dynamite2924]

Relax bro its funny.

[@jaykera]

Deadass

[@dead.inside.585]

@@mr.dynamite2924 only if the humor setting is as crooked as yours.

[@goticogordo]

4nd your li1fe

[@ianthegamer6095]

hurts to hear all the PSG hate a s a fan from 2006, but I still love all these videos you do lol

[@lafoonxiii5311]

Maybe, as a fan, you should protest your clubs ownership. It's literally the biggest cause of hate. Fuck these oil states thinking they can wash their reputations clean with sports.

[@rakhmathadita3917]

nice wfm bgm

[@philipg6579]

NOw where is my fa cup video lmao

[@natesmith1223]

Was watching the 2nd leg of dortmund vs Madrid and I can’t make this shit up it’s literally black magic there’s no other way to explain it they just always get to the UCL final

[@aldoruiz155]

The only thing more awesome than watching PSG lose, was watching Varca lose.

[@yeonlee5]

For Americans, think of Real Madrid as Alabama (lots of history and you expect them to be there every season to win it all the way) and Dortmund as Penn State.

[@lafoonxiii5311]

Ouch. I feel like Dortmund deserves better than to be compared to Penn State... I don't know enough about college ball to give a good example though. I'm gonna go with Michigan, as they were recently in the championship, are a solid team with history, have been in and around the top for a while, but haven't cleared that final hurdle in a while, until.....THIS YEAR! JUST LIKE DORTMUND, BABY! Also, prior to this year Michigan hadn't won the championship since 1997...............JUST LIKE DORTMUND, BABY!

[@yeonlee5]

@lafoonxiii5311 I'm also rooting for dortmund. The reason why I say oenn state is because they have similar atmosphere: local following but a lot of passionate fans.

[@protigerx2447]

I see a lot of bvb fans talk about that reus fairwels should be with a trophy what about tony kroos

[@sierrag8412]

Cant tell whats more plastic. Man City fans, PSG fans, the Kardashians or Mopar car interiors

[@GlitchyVenom42]

No creo

[@mtenderechideru3230]

Make one for bayer leverkusen's unbeaten season please

[@samuellaureano9159]

I'm sorry but the way he's telling the PSG Barca story is not at all what happened. Barca choked it. Araujo fucked up the game for his team, it wasn't the refs fault.

[@hoihoi726]

$15 dollars for a microwave meal isn't cheap my guy, just get them from the store, fuck factor.

[@anmolsingh6342]

De ligt was off side.

[@dude99844]

Please make a Clueless messi fan’s guide to MLS

[@Ash-ve8hh]

you are so uninformed about psg its insane...

[@papadoc331]

Explain

[@BloodRider1914]

​@@papadoc331PSG is a real club which had some degree of success prior to Qatari ownership (not domineering domestic success like now, but they had George Weah, Nicolas Anelka, and Ronaldinho among others). It is by far the largest football club in a massive city with many fans of the sport and notably has very passionate ultras. In France at least PSG is not merely a fashion club but one with very real fans not unlike say Real Madrid, Manchester City, or AC Milan. Obviously quite a few gloryhunters just looking to see Mbappé and Neymar, but also those genuinely wanting to see their club win not just for Paris but also for France. Players like Messi and Mbappé have been in fact heavily criticised by PSG fans for seemingly not caring about the club. It's completely absurd to just call them a fake club with no history or real fans, at least on the domestic level.

[@TacitusKilgore165]

​@BloodRider1914 Personally i just think its criminal to be sitting on a rich vein of local home grown talent in Paris to instead just waste money on Galacticos signings instead of developing through the academy. I hope PSG can follow the example of City and build something under Enrique that builds around homegrown talent and signs big Galacticos talent when and where nessicary. City have succeeded where PSG has failed because they built around a philosophy and a long term project txiki Soriano and Pep are a team. The players brought in like de Bruyne Raheem Sterling Gundy were all signed because they could fit into the style of football Pep likes to play. Also it's just as important to have squad and rotation players every bit as much as superstars, those unsung heroes and workhorse defenders do just as much as the glamour positions in forward and midfield. Like I said I hope somebody can really take psg project seriously cuz there's loads of untapped potential

[@mr.dynamite2924]

Everyone knows its Petroleum Saint Germain.

[@mob8502]

I’m sure you’re happy Man U won the fa cup

[@amhumanperson3592]

nah bro second leg only one robery happend the rest is purely out of one red card

[@MrRiad-lf8xl]

There was no robbery though. The Red card was the correct decision. And Barca were ASS the entire match. Never seen a team give up whilest leading before !

[@luchip6664]

China Ruins everything career mode #2 loading…

[@aoe4037]

CL shouldn't be compared to a unimportant domestic thing

[@CosmosesJones]

Its a guide for americans, they only know super bowl units of measurement. Obviously CL is much bigger

[@Brave-Human]

The Palestine joke was to far and out of context, it's like making a joke about 9/11 while was occurring

[@guillermorendon2187]

Womp womp

[@jordanford9320]

" The goal should have stood" Oh you mean the one where the entire real Madrid defense just gave up because the whistle was blown. Gotcha you. You don't even know that it would have been a fucking goal. Just admit that you hate Madrid

[@bukket3143]

real madrid black magic

[@stoppagetimepodcast7329]

keep doubting us

[@SamieAhmed-rc6fv]

How u even joking about Palestine

[@fozerion_ua]

all my homies hate real madrid 🗣

[@Mdksupreme1]

This fool is quite clearly a barca fan

[@ninab.4540]

0:26 *laughs in Mediterranean* You Americans have no idea how geography works

[@lookatthisbizarre2940]

hate psg but they have a legit fanbase, nothing but respect for them

[@TheMartinFigueroa]

I think he likes Barcelona 😂

[@AdwoaKaren]

You know why? Dios es madridista! 🥰 Hala Madrid!

[@natethomas3793]

barca lost fair and square dude.

[@FruduBuggins]

The Euros is like the world cup but for the colonizers. Im definitely gonna use that one :D

[@FruduBuggins]

And i would like to add that the PSG local fanbase is incredible loyal to the club. They are honest and ruthless in their support of the club - which means they arent scared of calling their club out, demanding players leave (even though they are called Neymar and Messi) or demanding what the money expects of the club.

[@intazarbastien9385]

Superbowl for europe???? How dare this “americain”

[@HemanthKumar-mx1mw]

Some of the most atrocious takes in here. Bro's a Barcelona fanboy

[@immark2467]

varca fan

[@United_Wings]

🎉🎉