'You don't know what it's like till you lose a parent': Sedaris siblings share their grief story

[@kellybelk2874]

My son was in 2nd grade when my husband died. He told me, “It feels like I’m laying on the sidewalk with a knife in my chest and everyone is just stepping over me.” Best description of grieving while the world moves on. 😢

[@emiliazola3708]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sadly, that is a very accurate description and I can relate to that having lost my mom 4 months ago. Thank you for sharing, hope you & your son are well ❤

[@moniqueengleman873]

Heartbreaking, and Wisdom beyond his years.

[@monique7504]

❤

[@monicagiordano6657]

I’m very sorry for your loss

[@flwrfan1752]

@kellybelk2874-Your son is wise for his years.That is a good description for grief.My Mother died over thirty years ago I still remember the hospital staff laughing right after that.I was so hurt and even outraged they were laughing when my Mom had died.Of course I wasn’t thinking right about that because life does go on.

[@IlGattonero13]

Amy: “Just assume everybody’s grieving.” Brilliant insight. We can’t know the pain that others are carrying, but we can choose to be open and kind.

[@eileenbodington5646]

That was so heartfelt and honest. It was helpful, too. Thanks to all 3 of you.

[@dtschuor459]

It’s a testimony to how each loss and how we grieve is both universal and uniquely personal for us.

[@monicapincombe5282]

I do so appreciate these interviews that Anderson Cooper does on grief. We all have these experiences. My mom took her life when she was 46 after a long battle with mental illness. That was in 1986. It still feels like yesterday. I had a dream the other night that I opened the door and she was there and we hugged and she was smiling and well. It was very comforting.

[@ChalNjurshEp]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@moxie321]

❤

[@avacadoes4853]

Lots of love and comfort to you ❤

[@whatiwasgoingtosay]

I lost my dog of 15 years, who I had raised since she was a 1 lb. puppy. Let me tell you, it counts. That nearly took me down harder than losing my mom.

[@dennisquinn133]

I loved seeing David and Amy in a serious setting. Such an interesting duo. Love them!

[@alysonmonson3588]

“My job as a writer is to get the world to love my mother as much as I did.” Absolutely beautiful, David. What an incredible sentiment. ❤

[@rejudynation]

Is it, though? Why?

[@lorcashine]

Hard not to love David Sedaris. His stories are gold.

[@alysonmonson3588]

@ I think it struck a chord with me because I would just like my own children to feel like I mattered that much to them when I’m gone, too. I think most people would love to feel like they mattered that much to someone, especially their child.

[@apropst5867]

I feel the same way about my Mom. I don't have children but I want my nieces and nephew to know her on a whole different level. I have saved cards, letters, and photos she received in her lifetime. In the event of my death I want them to absorb all these things in the hope they will regret not spending more time with her. A selfish wish perhaps but it is honest one.

[@kooale]

@@alysonmonson3588 Nice thought Alyson. Hope you get that.

[@dosquintoiuos]

Yo, losing a pet of any kind is highly traumatic- you don’t need to justify your grief Here’s a virtual hug

[@jodie6925]

Here's a virtual hug for Tiffany.

[@rebeccab2446]

@@jodie6925 and to Tina

[@lb8141]

@@dosquintoiuos It's incredibly traumatic 🥺

[@dosquintoiuos]

@ hell yes it is! Whether it’s a cat or a dog or a bird or a bunny or a horse- it’s your pet and your family member 😭

[@patricias5122]

YO, she grieved more for a rabbit than her sister who was so unloved by the family...including her mother....that she finallykilled herself. Who wouldn't be "mentally ill" after that?

[@elizabethann9152]

What a discussion. For every person at that table. And us.

[@danielc9483]

and the humor, and metaphors. so real and genius. it is a reminder to always find humor in everything, even the most painful challenges in life.

[@JP-lu9ed]

Their advice at the end is so good. Presume everyone is grieving. So true.

[@JennifyrGilmore]

Great 👍 advice: presume EVERY one is grieving ‼️ 🌹

[@yourpalfred]

My cat was with me for 20 years, from the time he was a kitten. Saw me through college, marriage, my father dying, a cross country move. I felt like I was going to die with him when I had him put down. When my father died I was so numb. It was so much easier to grieve my cat. So strange. I miss them both so much.

[@beh4846]

About being there for someone when a loved one dies: When David said, "you just fly in...", I felt envious of that privilege. I'm not an envious person, but how I wish I had the money to travel to be with family or friends in their time of need. Emotional support is a lifesaver, and phone calls just aren't the same as being there for hugs and holding hands. I love David and Amy, and I'm so happy they have each other.

[@mm5478]

You're not alone when you think every day about those you've loved and lost. It's been over 20 years since I lost my mom and dad but I think about them daily. I have long morning walks with my dogs and that's when I find myself chatting with my parents in my head. It's as comforting as it can be but the loss remains.

[@lock5227]

This is comforting to hear. I lost my parents two years ago, and I have found I have this (deeply irrational) fear that I won't think about them daily like I do now. Thank you for sharing this ❤

[@KATRTR]

This podcast is so helpful for the silent grief we all feel. I love the lines: "It was so offensive the world did not stop for her. Life kept moving so fast." I wrote this incredibly long epic poem for my mom, also feeling she deserved it. My brother made me feel that I could not read parts of it at her funeral. I hate that I felt oppressed and too intimidated to read it at her funeral. I did go back to her grave this past Thanksgiving with finally the courage to read it to mom, but wish I had summoned to courage to defy him and read at least parts of it. Continue to find this podcast so healing since I had to return to work immediately after my mother's death as my hard job gives me work there or not and that responsibility always outweighs my ability to grieve, see doctors, take leave and take care of myself. I wish I was not such a slave to a thankless cruel taskmaster of a job. Thank you for this podcast you help so many people suffering in silence.

[@brendagoates1169]

This conversation was a gift. I'm catharsis crying. Such candor and depth isn't something I'm privileged to but anyway thank you ❤

[@Sarah-qt3vi]

I am weepy and feel like I've been punched in the sternum. This was amazing.

[@SpencerRamsay-i6r]

Three of my favorite people in once space - Great listen!!

[@Krise343]

My sentiment exactly. All brilliant, funny and kind. What else could you want?

[@joytotheworld2100]

Tears falling.Back in 1969, I found my sister dead by suicide.This brought back so many sad memories. Great interview as always.

[@monicagiordano6657]

I’m very sorry for your loss

[@lunaholiday8585]

I’m so sorry. That’s just awful.

[@janiem6347]

I’m so sorry 💔

[@KathyBeasley]

So very sorry for that awful experience I know it never goes away 💔

[@colleen6050]

Thank you Anderson for another beautiful discussion.

[@TheMattsterling]

Anderson, I am so glad you started this podcast. Grief is something rarely discussed and felt by everyone at some point. I've lost my Grandpa to cancer, my Dad to dementia and my other Grandparents to old age. I am currently retired and decided to take my 80 year old Mom on a road trip from LA to her place in Florida and stay there awhile. I was born disabled and I owe much of my good fortune to her upbringing. My family is young and won't miss me too much and the time I'm about to spend with her will probably be one of the best times of my life. I have been lucky enough to share a laugh with David at one of his readings and we have exchanged a couple letters. His audiobooks are part of my nighttime routine and Amy has kept me laughing since her first appearance on Letterman. This is the type of productive discussion which helps us remember we are all human and should take the time to share our experiences. Lou was going to get a refund for chemo meds? OMG too much, My Grandpa Frank was a WWII veteran and funeral director and during one of his chemo treatments asked nurse "is there an expiration date on my chart?"

[@DJKSB58]

I loved every appearance of Amy on David Letterman. They had great chemistry!

[@TheMattsterling]

@@DJKSB58 My favorite was the live feed from the Village at 4am or some early hour...

[@gloomgirl]

I lost my mom when I was 15-I was always looked at as the girl whose mom died, and I always looked at everyone else as -you’re the kids that still have a mom. The separation and subsequent isolation is real…my father is gone now, too and I am an only child. Thankful for my husband and my own kids but you just never recover. 💔💔

[@beckyledbetter1821]

Thank you, thank you, thank you Anderson and to both Sedaris siblings to openly talk about death, suicide and grief. You are helping to change this stubborn paradigm we have in this country about denying death and grief. This is balm for so many.

[@ZeldaZonka]

I lost my Dad just before Christmas. This interview was indeed a gift. Thank you for talking about this subject and doing so with such honesty.

[@victoriacaddy1287]

My sincere condolences to you ~~ Be kind to yourself.

[@moniqueengleman873]

I am so sorry. I feel my Dad around me. I hope you find peace.

[@moniqueengleman873]

​@@victoriacaddy1287yes!!!❤❤❤

[@emiliazola3708]

So sincerely sorry for your loss. These interviews are very much a gift, even though it can be painful to hear in the moment. I lost my mom in September & I feel like I've barely started the grieving process, whatever that looks like. Wishing you healing & strength in the future

[@lcflngn]

Coming up on ten years since my lovely dad passed, feels like just a brief moment. The best thing that helped is the “club” I never knew existed, and would have never wished to belong to. What a beautiful world of love is out there.

[@margaretwilkett7830]

It's so sad for Tiffany that her mother didn't like her or love her.

[@jodie6925]

Apparently, her siblings and father didn't, either.

[@Firstofanyone]

@@jodie6925Amy does for sure. She’s the one who went back to North Carolina to look through Tiffany’s things alone, still posts about her, and who raised awareness about mental health on her show Strangers With Candy (it’s a ridiculous comedy but Amy fit this in anyways.) I think David had a complicated relationship with Tiffany, but he doesn’t seem to truly dislike her. He’s said that he should have stood up for her against their mom, he’s expressed that she’s gone through way more than the other kids, and he still says he loves her. Idk, families are so complicated.

[@katiefoley7208]

As someone who was the Tiffany of my family, I feel that way too. At the same time I get why Amy and David said they couldn't help her and were so matter of fact about it. Sometimes you try and try to meet people halfway and they either can't or won't. It creates a big rift.

[@patricias5122]

@@Firstofanyone "doesn't truly dislike her" is enormously sad, is that the best that could be said about his feelings for Tiffany? it's hard to understand why Tiffany felt she had to die...her mother was a monster and nobody defended Tiffany. Horrible, preening people.

[@Firstofanyone]

@@patricias5122 why do you guys act like she didn’t have mental illness and addiction also contributing to her d*ath. Sure it’s the chicken and the egg if her family caused the illness and addiction but you simply don’t know. Amy said bipolar runs in their family, so it’s odd to assume she wasn’t born with this

[@lauragray2377]

I wish this was longer. I wish I could hear Amy and David talk like this on a regular basis. ✨

[@LaniAnne402]

Losing my mother felt like I was an uprooted tree. It took me one year to settle my roots back into the ground. The pain was overwhelming. 💔

[@Jenny_Oblivion]

Their words about people with many siblings having different experiences with parents is something I’ve heard from friends. One friend is the youngest of 7 and has told me about how differently her siblings remember her mother

[@lb8141]

I woke up at 5:24 am and could not sleep thinking about such sad things and I saw this pop up on my for you page. What a great episode. A deep conversation about death with three funny brilliant people. I needed to see this. My Grandmother committed suicide when I was in my 30's and it left me haunted. My Mother is on her way out and I have been struggling with that. Thank you so much for sharing with us.

[@GEKENILWORTH]

So sorry for what you're going through.

[@lb8141]

@GEKENILWORTH Thank you so much. ❤️

[@lisacox405]

🕊️💗🕊️

[@kschonstron425]

Heart warming. I lost my parents and siblings over the last 7 years. I'm an orphan. Like she said, I am on the side of the street with no parents or siblings and others just don't get it unless they are there, too. Such loss and grief. And every death is different and my response to each also different. This was a good piece. Thank you 3 for this.

[@DavenportBarr]

I can’t believe I found this or it found me.

[@ChalNjurshEp]

I’m an orphan too, from just several days ago…… no siblings even to begin with… My mommy right after Christmas ❤❤ and my daddy 8 months before. My 10 year pet parrot in September……… a family friend also passed…. 8 months of pure unadulterated hell

[@kschonstron425]

@@ChalNjurshEp My heart goes out to you. I am with you in the grief you're feeling, so fresh from the holidays. It will fill up your life and you'll think such dark thoughts and feel so alone. But you are not. Reach out to friends, support groups, and be kind and patient with yourself. It's a long road, as it should be, to grieve.

[@lindahind2205]

@@ChalNjurshEp: I am so sorry for your losses. Can’t imagine the effect of this much loss in such a relatively short time. Hope you are taking good care of yourself and finding kindness and love. My best wishes for your difficult journey.❤️

[@JimmyNasium]

I forget who said this about grief but it hits me really hard whenever it comes to mind…”grief is love with nowhere to go.”

[@jodie6925]

Grief is growing up in a family where NO ONE has your back. Alone for life.

[@ChalNjurshEp]

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@garypuckettmuse]

@@jodie6925 Me too, Jodie. Accept it. Truly accept it, not as a victim and not wishing things were different. Just accept it as the truth and you will feel very liberated. The truth really does set people free. Most people can't handle the truth which is why they suffer. YOU have your own back and you are probably the best friend you could ever have anyway. Hopefully you don't have to cover the backs of any of those people who have failed you and you can relish the lightness of being which you totally deserve. Don't fantasize about what might have been or what you think you may have deserved. Don't worry about what everyone else did wrong. Things just are the way they are and there is no way we can make sense of them. I'll be thinking of you Jodie. You deserve peace and contentment in your life so allow it. It's waiting for you.

[@jodie6925]

@ That is very sweet and kind of you. Is there another way to connect?

[@susanfraser6371]

I'm very grateful for this conversation. It's given me a lot to reflect on.

[@caroladams8237]

I appreciate their honesty regarding the fact that their mother deprived their sister of love. This is toxic and emotional abuse. People often feel that mothers must be idolized; however, the truth will set you free.

[@chrisnam1603]

💯 sad truth...

[@M_SC]

He’s not honest/realistic enough imo. Lack of guilt is sociopathic.

[@victoriacaddy1287]

@@M_SC We can't possibly know the whole story of what it was like to be Tiffany's brother and sister. It's easy to judge if you haven't lived it.

[@capitalt3977]

@@M_SC Oh please say more about something you know nothing about.

[@amedeo29]

@@M_SCinsinuating a complete stranger to you is a sociopath because they don’t feel guilt over someone else’s suicide is WILD.

[@Asyd739]

I appreciate David’s honesty about not feeling guilty about his sisters. It’s true mental illness is at the core. And I’m sure it’s different for everyone. It’s a is a valid way out.

[@brookekivi]

Couldn’t agree more.

[@andyanderson3628]

I lost my mom when I was in my twenties and my dad in my thirties. Now I find with most of my friends that they are dealing with elderly parents that need a great deal of care. I never had to think about that.

[@elkerwin]

You need to do a round table made up of people who are already very comfortable together and have this conversation. Siblings is brilliant, but also close friends - like Amy and Colbert. He could be slotted into this group and the conversation would immediately be so much deeper. Super well done series. Thank you!

[@MeissnerEffect]

I love Amy so much. She makes my solitude positive and possible because good and bad days just unfold, knowing that is empowering and freeing.

[@magpie9223]

Love those two 💗 Fan 4eva here. My sister killed herself, was mentally ill, I understood what they were conveying. The tragedy was not my sister's death but her life.

[@katiesimenson2765]

I love Amy Sedaris but David is something, I can’t put it into words! I just feel better about the world whenever I read a book by him, hear him on a podcast, see him in person or read one of his articles!

[@monicagiordano6657]

He’s amazing !

[@kooale]

He makes an effort

[@cherylgrec9701]

I have lost my mom, my dad, my 2 older sisters, my little brother and 5 beloved dogs. Each loss was devastating, including the dogs. My husband and I have no children and the dogs were substitutes. I had the best family. My childhood was so happy because my parents were truly good people and raised us to be like them. As much as I try, I will never get over these deaths. They have made the later years of my life the exact opposite of my childhood. I hope I get to see them all again.😢

[@monkeyshinemmie]

Since we don't know what people are going through, and sometimes we haven't experienced certain life lessons, I think the best way to treat others is to simply be kind, and take it from there. I still miss people that I met for such a short period of time, but we made a connection.

[@BetsyAlt-d8n]

I think grief is the most universal feeling we have. And when you learn to carry it with you, you grow a little. I'd rather not go through it but I learned from it. Maybe I'm a better person because of it.

[@enriquesaez1996]

It looks like David Sedaris is holding his laughter. He’s one of the funniest writers ever.

[@tmp1111]

I think loosing a pet is often harder than a person. I had my dog for 18 years. Loosing him was tough

[@Lownly1]

Depends on the pet. Depends on the person.

[@milissameza5432]

Beg to differ. If you had lost a child you would never say that. A mother carries a child for 9 months, they are part of our body. I love my cat but I did not birth him like I did my kids. The loss of my son was the worst pain I have ever experienced. I have lost both parents, two siblings, good friends, however my sons death destroyed me mentally, physically and emotionally. We are coming up on the 5th year and the pain has not lessened. I grieve for the life he did not finish, his goals, his old age. He will never have grey hair, kids, he has never met his nephews, brother in laws etc. I can never replace my son.

[@xbellefillex]

@@milissameza5432don’t compare grief. The original commenter said “loosing a pet is often harder…”. Then went on to say their personal loss was tough. Don’t be crass.

[@tmp1111]

@ yes with the exception of a child of course.

[@PearlsandRoses]

❓⁉️

[@SheilaR.08]

Love Amy and David. It's very hard to be the child your mom doesn't love or like. It fucks with your head forever, and its tentacles affect every aspect of your life. I relate. Love to Tina Bunny! 💜

[@jodie6925]

It's very hard to be the child whose siblings and father don't stand up for her.

[@patricias5122]

I love Tiffany and have deep contempt for these preening self pitying fools.

[@kismetau]

Thank you for this insightful interview. I am Australian and have only heard of Amy but not her brother and I enjoyed listening to them immensely. Wishing their family the best.

[@JanS1]

I totally relate to how impossibly sad it is to lose your parents. It is still surreal. The thing that is sticking with me though, is that they're so matter of fact about their mother not loving Tiffany. They're used to it, I understand, I like them both a lot, but I feel a lot of sadness for Tiffany. How awful for her.

[@carolynnkingyens1000]

Amy and David never had children. In fact, out of six children, only one Sedaris had a child, and that was youngest brother Paul - The loveable Rooster. So maybe they can't comprehend how cruel their mother was to Tiffany because they never became a parent, themselves, so can't see it from a parent's perspective. The way their mother treated Tiffany was NOT NORMAL.

[@julesjma]

Just lost my ex husband. We were only married 5 years but rekindled our friendship last year. I've never felt pain like this. He was my soulmate and we never got to try over.

[@vlm-bc7zn]

I have a mentally ill sister…there’s nothing I can do to help her but listen to her …they have to want to take their meds or get counseling you can’t force them to do this

[@lindahind2205]

I’ve never understood David’s adoration of his mother when she comes off as an alcoholic harridan in his writing. Both his parents were monstrous to Tiffany. Family is such a minefield! We never know.

[@aksez2u]

Mental illness is so cruel. My mom suffered from Very Late Onset Schizophrenia-Like Psychosis and dementia. For years we dealt with her anger, paranoia and delusions. I have to mourn the mom she was before that, because when she died all I really felt was relief. David and Amy may sound a bit cold when they talk about their sister and how distanced they were from her, but I understand completely.

[@rosemoore437]

This is a great trio to listen to. Love you guys! I love hearing all of David’s stories. I was a huge Strangers with Candy fan in my teens when it was on TV. I made a Canterbury tale about Jerri Blank as a senior in high school, with a giant picture that I drew or Jerri! My teacher did not appreciate the reference!

[@856aloka]

After losing our parents, when I lost my siblings, it was harder than the loss of my parents who passed as nature had designed. A sibling is your comrade and partner. The loss of a part who shared your life history leaves you alone and facing a new normal.

[@GEKENILWORTH]

They all nailed the feelings we experience when a loved one passes away, and the surreal things that happen along the way. I remember being with two nurses and my mom, who was on a gurney and being admitted to a hospital room. This involved an elevator ride. I stood beside my mom, holding her hand. She was critically ill. And the two nurses were chatting about a party they were going to that night. This was just another day for them, but for me, it was the end of my world.

[@kooale]

It’s gotta be nice to have a sibling or a friend who keeps their eyes open to purchase you urns for all your dead rabbit’s ashes. Thank you, all three, lovely. Happy new year. Lookin' good Missy.

[@Kimberly-uf9dj]

Poor Tiffany. To not be loved. How sad.

[@jodie6925]

So true. Poor Tiffany - acting out "the crazy" for the rest of the extremely dysfunctional family. I have adored Amy and David for many years, but they are mentally ill, too. (As am I.) They were so fortunate to have found humor as a way to deal with that. Tiffany could not, because she was labeled the scapegoat for the family's problems, probably early on, and that position in the family is a no-win. Lots of suicides with the family scapegoat, and no one is blameless.

[@M_SC]

@@jodie6925glad a few people see the truth

[@kerrybyers257]

If Mom doesn’t love a particular child, no one else may love them either. Tiffany was a sacrificial child and the mom gets idolized….go figure.

[@LowskBowski]

Well said. I'm rather disturbed by the way is David talking about the wonderful love that he received from his mother and how he wants to share it. My wife and I are working our asses off to make sure our kids have a fighting chance in life. I detest any family that labels one kid good and the other bad. My kids are two different beings and I want to know them and understand them. I'm sure there will be mistakes and challenges, but what else do I have to do?

[@MsNatiBug]

It really does suck. It’s also so so so so so so common. Many people seem to know that scapegoats are unloved. But the “golden child” is often loved even less. Many parents just cannot love. Not every human has the neurological wiring to experience love, or at least not to experience and process and enact it in healthy ways.

[@SuzyHousecoat]

I was sitting on a bus and the bus drove past a funeral home. There was a young couple outside the door and a woman was crying with her head on the man’s chest. I thought that will be me one day and a person on a bus driving past will think the same thing I am thinking now.

[@JamilSmith]

I lost my mom a little less than two years ago, and I'm still struggling. I'm so grateful that I found this video.

[@moxie321]

❤

[@mormusicclips8959]

Great interview! I like when the interviewer asks a short question and then stops talking, allowing the guest to answer the question. So often now, interviewers ask and answer questions before the guest has a chance to respond. And Amy and David spoke so openly and eloquently about the subject. Great to watch!!

[@mikel7296]

This a wake up call to all those who are complacent and take for granted on each passing day. Life is very short, make the most of it, cherish it day by day, minute by and minute. Before you know it time has passed. In order to minimize the regrets, do the best you can to cherish it. " THE LIFE YOU LEAD, DICTATES THE LIFE YOU LIVE"...Words of wisdom to live by

[@danieljohnson9913]

Sounds like the mom might have been a narcissist and Tiffany was her scapegoat! That’s soooooooooo tragic for Tiffany. 😔

[@jodie6925]

Family Scapegoat Abuse for sure. Textbook example.

[@danieljohnson9913]

@@jodie6925 Indeed! So sad that AC didn't even question it.

[@mollymcclain5493]

Yes- I read his stories about his father being inappropriate with some of his sisters…taking nude art photos of his teenage daughter… Tiffany said she was abused, no one wanted to believe her, mental illness also would cause people to discredit her…it was probably more than anyone could handle…maybe her siblings wanted to cling to a “better” narrative of the family. I can only wonder… Doesn’t seem like anyone really ‘saw’ Tiffany 😢 Plus children putting a mother on a pedestal who rejected her own child… this is a narcissistic family pattern

[@danieljohnson9913]

@@mollymcclain5493 Tragic for Tiffany.

[@nancyouverson2777]

I find the negative comments alarming, full of despair. To never experience a close connection to any living being is unacceptable. I love the dynamics of this conversation. Whenever I hear someone say “Shithead”, my head goes on swivel, looking for the source, hoping it’s my famous beloved deceased brother.😊

[@dianek.851]

Thinking the same thing. Wonder if they realize they have no humanity.

[@thoughtography5715]

I love that Amy's impression of their dad is almost identical to David's. I never heard Lou Sedaris speak, but I can only assume it was exactly how they do his voice.

[@rickysencion4609]

Today, at the gym on a stationary bicycle, I was reading ‘A Little Life’ by Hanya Yanagihara and I was crying while reading it. I let the emotions flow and the tears run down my face. I didn’t feel weird about feeling emotions in public. Now… watching this, it reminded me of being on an NYC subway train, back in the 90’s, and reading David’s book and laughing out loud until my tummy hurt. I wasn't concerned about what anyone thought on the train. …It's a moment/feeling I’ll never forget. Especially when he was sharing the story about someone 'eating corn.'

[@kaceycantellomusic1949]

What a beautiful interview. So comforting to know people are grieving the same way you are and it is ok to not grieve for someone if you don’t want to.

[@carlcrossgrove9009]

What Amy says is really true: I sat with the news about my mother and it didn’t make sense, it wasn’t something I could “move on” from for at least a couple days. It didn’t seem real, and it really did seem rude and insensitive for others to go on about their days driving to work, making meals, etc. It was like there needed to be a bubble of stillness when time stopped around this event, and the inevitability of “life going on” looked really inappropriate for a few days. And this makes Amy’s suggestion really potent: Assume everyone is grieving. Just like David discovered with his limo ride.

[@zebralove2840]

All so relatable and lovely to hear David and Amy in this way, honestly and unafraid of vulnerability.

[@ThePemaquidpoint]

What a beautiful conversation! I benefitted from all of their advice and experiences.

[@HLB512]

What totally disturbed me was the mental illness of their sister and their mother not loving her. It’s sticking with me.

[@jodie6925]

As it should! And no one else in the family had Tiffany's back when she was that sad and lost little girl. I could go on, but you can read my other comments.

[@Firstofanyone]

@@jodie6925were you there? No. How on earth could you possibly know they never had her back? David has even written about how the siblings WERE close for a while

[@lindahind2205]

@@Firstofanyone: And you don’t know what Jodie has gone through. I believe she was the “Tiffany” in her family. You’re judging also.

[@Firstofanyone]

@@lindahind2205 I’m sorry to her but being the “Tiffany” of your own family doesn’t make you an expert on decades of the Sedaris interactions

[@triciamool8157]

Tiffany was a scapegoat, and did it herself. This is why family systems therapy is so deeply important. I can't imagine not loving my child, it punches me in the gut to even consider not loving as a mother. And honestly, losing a parent doesn't change everything, I lost 3 in 3 years. I do think we live through these as a rite of passage, a hard-won rite.

[@drooney1123]

i have been a fan of amy since strangers with candy originally aired, and of david, a little less. both have been such a presence in my life in contemplative and comedically nourishing ways. it was such a startling and resonating opportunity to experience vulnerability from them in a way i havent from them before. thank you both for sharing your vulnerable experiences of your grief process ❤️

[@anonymouskat4868]

I love you all. Thank you Anderson.. I truly feel like i know you. I appreciate all the love and understanding you put into your interviews. David. What can i say? I could listen to you read your prose forever. Amy. You are so kind. I think what we are talking about is Grace. Empathy and grace. Trying to give other people the benefit of the doubt. It's not a common practice anymore. But, i try to remember to give others that space whenever I can.

[@5um0fMe]

Great sit down with these two amazing siblings. I don’t know how they didn’t get choked up telling their stories. My eyes sure got wet and I didn’t even know their mom or that rabbit 😭 Hearing their thoughts on loss was helpful.

[@AskAlex1999]

Anderson knows what it’s like to lose both parents. His father, when he was only a boy💙

[@ltvanburen8555]

I used to babysit a one-eared rabbit named Delta Dawn for my friend in Knoxville. One day in a garden store I found a little rabbit statue that the ear had been broken off. I bought it for my friend to place in her yard. After Delta Dawn died it marked her resting place.💕

[@kevinfinn9712]

Thank You Anderson, these discussions have been so helpful. Just ❤️ Amy & David’s authenticity & sense of humor. Amy speaking of her beloved Tina, similar to my grief / pain over losing my Elsa..

[@charlenemack7040]

I cannot understand people who do not understand that our pets, are our family members. When they pass away it’s no different than a family member passing away.

[@AmyThomas74]

Thank you David,Amy, and Anderson for this lovely conversation. It was very meaningful to me.

[@branddave]

This is how I feel!!! It's so nice to have two people I admire so much articulate these feelings. It's so hard to describe the feeling of when your mother dies. The love that you always felt your whole life is just - gone. I feel it in my soul. Its so painful.

[@karentonks7581]

7 years ago i had to break into my mum's apartment and found her in the bath. Still now the grief can be overwhelming. It comes in waves. The other difficult thing is I'm still unable to go through photos as its just too painful.❤😢

[@dodik2091]

8 years for my mom. We lived together and I didn't clear out her bedroom until last year. Still haven't looked at photo albums.

[@aidenalamo6262]

I know what is like to lose a favorite bunny rabbit. I miss my Colbee every day. She enjoyed Iowa Hawkeye football and watched the games every Saturday and the bowl games. She lived nearly 8 years. She was a strong willed bunny. She was also the alpha leader and controlled the four cats we had (two are gone now, two remaining cats are alive). I'm so glad her birthmother gave her life and that I got to care for her!

[@nb-user25]

David’s book Calypso covers his sister Tiffany’s passing and his book Happy-Go-Lucky covers his dad’s death. So profound and amazing he shares these events.

[@jamsohnson8579]

The last line... you think it's too late to say something... it's never too late to tell someone you love and think about them.

[@jsjjane]

I love this. My rabbit is so precious to me. It’s as close as any cat or dog I’ve had. They are special beings. I appreciate her speaking and Anderson’s compassion.

[@bkh5648]

Love these two! Really struck by Tiffany not receiving their mother’s love. Is that why she needed meds? I think that’s why I do 😮

[@paisleypolarbear2485]

This was a lovely conversation, thank you for sharing ❤

[@Catchow-d7h]

This is really helpful. A very good account of grief and moving on.

[@melaniemarloe9274]

Really awesome video from two different perspectives of who their parents were. Similar to my siblings and I. My older bother screamed this at me objecting to my perception of my mother which was very different from his, "well we must have come from two different childhoods then !" And we did in some odd way...... And that David on your show just cracked me up!! " Come this way young man " was so funny!

[@AScott-cg4cu]

Years ago I worked for someone who was a friend of Anderson’s and one day he was HORRIFIED to discover I was keeping a separate Rolodex for his friends and colleagues who’d died. Eventually he came to see it had value in different ways.

[@TracyGraves-f8x]

Thank you all so much. ❤

[@sannydee]

I don’t know if it’s ok to chuckle or cry. I love these two both.

[@bcd773]

This is so lovely and personal. Thank you for this interview. They are cool, wise, and funny people.

[@Lesterluwu]

What an incredible recognition from David regarding his sister's suicide - "the tragedy wasn't her suicide, it was her mental illness". My belief in how mental illness that cannot be 'cured' depletes and destroys an individual as tragically as any incurable cancer or disease, makes me a proponent for end-of-life dignity. The suffering and misery is unnecessary, and often follows archaic religious beliefs. Peace to the departed souls.

[@baileydevine5275]

A little difficult for me to sort out "there's nothing anything could have done to help her mental illness" & she wasn't loved by her mother. Seems like mom doing more to love her could have improved things.

[@jodie6925]

More love, support and affection from her father and siblings would have helped too.

[@jodie6925]

Why do dads always get a free pass?

[@Firstofanyone]

The siblings tried for years. They were very close to tiffany but she never wanted to take her meds and I’m sorry if it’s not PC, but extreme mental illness without meds IS hard to deal with. It is frustrating. You won’t get it until you go through it.

[@phineasblood6012]

I lived next to her for a bit...they never did a fkng thing for her...doesn't seem like they care anyhow...disgusting

[@phineasblood6012]

She never mentioned them once...because they werent a part of her life i assume, she had no money, no food, the neighborhood in Summerville, Ma helped her...really sad and disgusting really​@Firstofanyone

[@matthewgallant5367]

Fan of all three and this interview was amazing. Thank you Anderson, Amy, and David

[@petagaymacmillan9449]

What a fantastic interview. I laughed. I cried. Very helpful listening to all of you. Empathy is a hard true lesson to learn Thank you !♥️

[@josef2012]

Don't grieve the "loss",celebrate and be grateful for the time you shared 🙏💗 All time is precious for us mortals.

[@devorahXO]

This was timely for me. Thank you.

[@mairinbrennan8711]

It’s a devastating loss even when you are in your 60’s.

[@cauxzieruffhausen9547]

I have everyone's ashes on my mantle--Mom and Dad, and my dogs Barinka, Lily, Anker, Ollie and Roy. All of the ashes will be scattered around my place after I've checked out, but meantime they'e mine to cherish.

[@AzDesertFoxx]

What a lovely interview. You are all special people.

[@dennisnolan5095]

I've experienced the same sort of losses as David & Amy as well as Anderson. I'm grateful for the reminder that almost everyone we encounter is also struggling with loss. I know that it is part of the human condition but loss still affects us all.