Is Tom Brady Really Retiring? | Remorseless Former Pres. Calls For Mass Protests

Stephen recaps the weekend's big football news, including the retirement rumors swirling around Tom Brady, and looks at some self-incriminating comments made by the former president at a rally in Texas. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount+, and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

[@kaylinsmith6921]

Really appreciate Stephen using his platform to say what we're all thinking. That "f*ck you" came from his soul.

[@blackpharaoh5561]

Protect Stephen Colbert at all cost. He's now my favorite white person. R.I.P. Betty white.

[@georgeornelas6919]

He tells you how you should feel . you know what your getting when you watch him ,

[@PressHBCA]

A real beauty

[@brian-us6vw]

@@georgeornelas6919 its the mass bubble for sheep

[@smthone]

It amazes me how normalized this has all become. I’ve never seen anybody admit their crimes over and over and have 0 consequences.

[@brianwalsh1401]

Trump definitely a bigger teflon don than Gotti ever was. I hope they get him on something because there's a lot of something out there. Truly frustrating that he gets away with it.

[@elenachristian9860]

I believe Al Capone pulled it off for quite awhile. One more thing he and DT have in common, like syphilis.

[@smthone]

@@elenachristian9860 They got Capone on Tax evasion/fraud, maybe just maybe they can get Trump on the same thing.

[@rkms5606]

This is America... They've always gone without consequences. It's just on every media platform at every moment.

[@smthone]

@@rkms5606 I feel like this is exceptional. Going live on tv and admitting crimes on a regular basis. If Hillary did this, or heck even George Bush, they would be thrown out so quick. Trump just seems to be immune to any form of legal recourse.

[@extendoduck]

I was really expecting an elaborate gag so that "Fuck you." caught me completely off guard. Died laughing.

[@kellyg358]

"I think he's learned his lesson. " - Susan Collins

[@yaceya]

Both he and Susan Collins did learn their lesson: that they can keep doing that shameless shit.

[@janeallingham7569]

Dangling pardons is witness tampering. This is a felony in and of itself w/ a penalty of up to 20 years in prison.

[@IAmSuzyQ]

If you voted against Trump in 2020, then you MUST vote against the 2022 midterm candidates who support Trump. He may not be on the ballot, but Trumpism will be, and we need to stop it in it's tracks. 🇺🇸 *VOTE BLUE IN '22!* 🇺🇸

[@DustyJones1997BGCL]

Agreed already registered to vote

[@benjamingardner3314]

Are we really stuck with "not Trump but still low-key terrible for this country" or "like Trump so openly terrible for this country" as our options now?

[@Justusson]

There’s no rest for the wicked,.. ,..‘s fellow citizens. *VOTE FFS!!!*

[@larrygarland3728]

@@benjamingardner3314 , The differences are light-years apart. Stop equating the two!

[@gamepapa1211]

It'll be an uphill battle thanks to all of the draconian voting restriction bills, but remember this: a fight against evil is never easy.

[@Sunny25611]

“F%#£ YOU.” is the understatement of the year Stephen. 😂

[@hemlockVape]

The "Still no consequences, we live in hell" bit, it just hit me in the feels. It is degrading to watch these people damage MY country. 🧐

[@danrion8839]

That 7 yr old sounds more coherent and educated than orange Clown.

[@TheDarkness1]

Stephen is being gracious. Trump even mentioned in his book he felt like he was 5.

[@ryanbauer3680]

At this rate you could fill a room full of chimps and give each one a 15 dollar bag of Taco Bell and the noises that would come from that room over the next 4 hours would be more eloquent and coherent then anything that ever come out of the President Annoying Orange's mouth. Probable smell better too.

[@madyjules06]

pretty sure that little kid IS way, way more coherent and educated than Dump Most kids are…

[@lorettanericcio-bohlman567]

It was Eric moonlighting

[@carloscarranco4327]

What's wrong with US law!! Why is this man still walking free,!!!

[@lyraserpentine894]

These dystopian times are hard and I just caught myself wondering what we, or I, would do without Stephen. I think I would probably cry more.

[@gilesluver]

"We will treat them fairly." So you'll make sure they are prosecuted to to fullest extent of the law? "If that means pardons, we'll give them pardons." So, that's a no.

[@IAmSuzyQ]

Trump said something indefensible, so here comes the spin... He didn't say that. And if he did, he didn't mean that. And if he did, you didn't understand it. And if you did, it's not a big deal. And if it is, others have said worse.

[@calisahardy4845]

Very well and confusingly said.

[@artemiomarifosque7927]

Let's hope Democracy should win in our May 9th National Elections HERE IN THE PHILIPPINES. My family expect CNN anchor Anderson Cooper & CBS to monitor/report, please.

[@Justusson]

This brings me back to 2015-2021. Dear god - please don’t let that happen again,.. 🙏 Also American citizens? Vote FFS!!!!!

[@DARWINZOO]

He was paraphrasing Stalin day before yesterday. Ouch

[@davebartosh5]

Or he'll say he was just kidding.

[@savannahm.laurentian1286]

So, inciting insurrection to "protest" their own insurrection. Lock it up already.

[@OlEgSaS32]

BuT The DEmS!!!!!! ThEy ToLD BlM To rIoT AnD NoBoDi SaD AnyThUnG!!!!!!! WhY Are ThErE No CrImInAl ChArGeS FoR TH E DeMs!!!!!!!

[@gorash100]

an unarmed insurrection lol...great story you tell yourselves about the scary right.

[@girthworm6895]

Lmao! Spot on! "Still no consequences, we live in hell!"

[@segifford1]

Great, Stephen. I almost never support cursing, but when you said to that Nazi, the former president, regarding pardons, "F...you", I applauded!

[@brother.teresa]

You can really feel the disdain Stephen has for Former President Droolius Geezer...I dig it 👌

[@happyngrateful]

NOW! ARREST TRUMP NOW

[@elenachristian9860]

Droolius Geezer? More like Geezer Adumbass.

[@IAmSuzyQ]

Trump and every member of his Sedition Coalition should be disqualified from holding any office using Section 3 of the 14th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, which provides that *“No person shall … hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any state, who, having previously taken an oath … to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same.”.*

[@rhysgrealish5227]

If we actually did apply the 14th amendment, the Republican Party would be nonexistent.

[@gamepapa1211]

I think this is the lynchpin of the current FBI investigation: they need to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Droolius Geezer is indeed in violation of that article. Because as you said, the spin machine can easily countered with "well he didn't mean it", so the evidences must break down every single maneuver the spin machines are going to pump out.

[@adamkalb1]

Exactly! If we enforce the constitution in federal laws, no politician will be above the law, ever! If the regular Capitol Police will not punish them because they are too scared or emotionally drained (honestly, who would blame them after their 1/6 trauma?) then maybe the White House needs its own special set of police officers to hold them in contempt - preferably in the form of robots who are incapable of human error. Is Rob Ott from Geico available for the job? This is the one robot test he can pass.

[@adamkalb1]

@@gamepapa1211 Are they kidding? He totally meant it.

[@adamkalb1]

To quote Stephen Colbert in the middle of this video, even though he was talking about a different law regarding voting rights, "They have to pass this legislation NOW because before you did this, no one was deranged enough to try it." What makes Donald Trump so special that he is above the law? Do laws fear him and the rest of the Republican Party when he leads it? That is the only reasonable explanation for why he ain't been arrested yet.

[@anhyb]

To me this will be / is a big part of legendary US TV-history. What a fantastic show! Thank you! Greetings from germany. 🗽📺♥️

[@Elize0805]

Many thanks once again for a great monologue Stephen! But it's good to see drummer Joe Saylor is back! 😊 He was missed. 🇬🇧

[@mmartinezPhysics]

*The Man For All Treasons!* Just invite him to every open mic; we'll have enough material for a confession, a remix of the confession, an acoustic version, etc.

[@jwn741]

i have a better idea that could potentially save countless lives. wanna guess what it is?

[@larrygarland3728]

A special unplugged showing ...(until he gets to prison.)

[@telebubba5527]

Amazing what a stable genius can produce🤔

[@gamepapa1211]

@Hunter Miller you mean Melania?

[@cocabrown2009]

If it gets him attention he will gladly confess, Then attack those who said he confessed and say he did not say what he said. BEEN THERE DONE THAT!

[@RahRan123]

The weird thing about free speech is when they wrote that amendment people actually took responsibility for (and thought about) the sh!t that came out of their mouths!

[@stefanschleps8758]

Vote Blue in 2022.

[@ChrisAlbertH47]

You'd think that after a few centuries some Americans would be both more enlightened and more educated. That didn't quite work out that way sadly.

[@nekonatauzanto1758]

@@stefanschleps8758 Vote red or our democracy will be dead!

[@danielgehring7437]

@@nekonatauzanto1758 Yes, vote for the fascists to preserve democracy! ...wait...

[@gamepapa1211]

@@nekonatauzanto1758 better dead than red.

[@lone6523]

He doesn’t realize that if VP gets the power to throw out free and fair elections, Harris can use it too. What a doofus!

[@danwg3368]

Using a 7-year-old to voice the not-president's voice is the best decision Colbert has made in a long time.

[@robertt9342]

Problem is the 7 year old has the possibility of more complex thoughts and eloquence

[@kimb868]

It was funny although the young man has much better diction than 🍊ever has!

[@iamdigory]

It's an insult to children (and I very reluctantly voted for him)

[@danieljob3184]

I dunno. That kid doesn't strike quite the right mix of tones for my ear. He has to go a little more spoiled and a tad less cognitive - try getting him drunk and giving him all the PlayStation games on his wishlist before the read, maybe!?

[@ewestchester2991]

I agree. But it honestly is kind of insulting to every 7yo kid.

[@lindahope8849]

Thanks for the laughs keeping me sane in a insane world lmao 🤣

[@royalnerd717]

RIGHT... LOL THANK AMERICA FOR STEPHAN COLBERT

[@philricke8372]

Your sarcasm almost got me!! You're too funny!

[@angelbast3rd133]

You're the insane one. Leaving dems for good.

[@brianwalsh1401]

@@angelbast3rd133 We won't miss ya. Good luck in Orange Insaneland. Although i doubt you were ever a democrat. Your probably a false flag operation.

[@angelbast3rd133]

@@brianwalsh1401 no one said anything about voting Trump. New dems are wackos. Always putting words in oppositions mouth. But you still lose my vote for life. See how that works buddy?

[@hughobyrne2588]

What we need to do is create a Trumpian-looking website for people to enter their names, addresses, and exactly what they did on the 6th that they want a pardon for.

[@shotjohnny]

😂👌

[@lexslate2476]

They exist, they're called 'all the right-wing social media sites', and they're all badly run because everyone involved knows they're not going to last. But their records will, and they'll end up in FBI hands. Again.

[@Z-Mikes00]

are we blind deploy the likes

[@marceld6061]

Gold! If the FBI hasn't thought of this, you might be getting offered a new job!

[@cc1k435]

This often does seem like a situation that calls for a Scooby-Doo kind of plan. So crazy, it might just work. 🤔 🤣

[@johnfrian]

Such a sad moment, mr Burgerfarts inciting a mob in case he would face consequences for inciting a mob. Then his fans cheer as if this proves he didn't incite the first mob. So sad that so many people never open their eyes.

[@shanedyer3230]

I think they don't care. They are okay with taking power by force.

[@SnowTheBard]

Why does a 7 year old speak better than He who will not be named? I mean seriously the kid makes a lot less pronunciation mistakes. And is more understandable.

[@happyngrateful]

NOW! ARREST TRUMP NOW

[@joeb4142]

Probably a lot more interesting to talk to.

[@Opus313]

This might be a good time to lock up Donnie before he causes any more damage!

[@MeganKoumori]

A good time would have been five years ago.

[@J.5.M.]

The thought of him causing more damage than he already has is hard to imagine... let's hope karma and justice catch up to him

[@samnelson2343]

Whats starting to worry me is- even if any sembkance of justice dies finally come to pass can yiu imagine the splutterimg outrage and cries of conspiracy that his demagraphic will then vouce?

[@dextermorgan4686]

*Guys, there will be NO consequences for the insurrection!* *Trump, Cruz, Lauren Boebert, Madison Cawthorn, Jim Jordan, Paul Gosar and Marjorie Taylor Green, etc. are gonna face NO CONSEQUENCES WHATSOEVER for the insurrection they incited and the crimes they committed! They all are gonna get away with impunity!* *These scumbags are part of the elite and* the Golden rule under *elitists* is YOU *DON'T GO AFTER* YOUR FELLOW *ELITISTS!* *The Biden administration will not go after Trump* for the same reason that the Obama administration didn't go after Bush Jr., Cheney, etc., because the Dems committed many of the crimes themselves that Republikkkans committed! The George W. Bush administration was incredibly corrupt, committed war crimes (like starting illegal wars, murdering tons of civilians and torturing people). But the Obama administration also was incredibly corrupt, committed war crimes and tortured people! Thus, if Obama had extradited Bush Jr., Cheney, etc., to Den Haag for their crimes against humanity, the Republikkkans would've retaliated and extradited Obama to Den Haag for his war crimes, once they got back to power! *And the same goes for Trump & Biden!* Trump was the most corrupt president in history; is a war criminal; incited an insurrection; & his children benefited from Trumps presidency. But Biden himself is also massively corrupt & Biden committed war crimes as well. And Bidens son Hunter does/did benefit from Joe's (vice)presidency. Hunter (who isn't even an artist) just sold paintings for hundreds of thousands of dollars! *Therefore, if Biden goes after Trump, the Republikkkans are gonna go after him in a year after the Dems lost the midterms!* #CancunCruz already pledged that, as soon as the Republikkkans are back in charge (i. e. right after the midterms), they're gonna impeach Biden over Bidens policies on the border, even though Biden kept the same policies in place that #DiaperDonnie had enacted! If Biden was smart, he'd simply call #CancunCruz's wife fucking ugly and claimed that #CancunCruz's father helped to assassinate JFK. #DiaperDonnie did exactly that, and #CancunCruz afterwards started kissing #DiaperDonnie's ass and hasn't removed his lips from #DiaperDonnie's ass ever since. However, *If you wanted **#DiaperDonnie**, **#CancunCruz**, etc., to be held accountable, you should've voted for Bernie, bc. Bernie isn't part of the elites. In fact, the elites despise Bernie* so much, that they rigged two primaries against his favor. *Bernie would hold Trump accountable, and Bernie wouldn't have to fear the retaliation of Republikkkans for 2 reasons:* *a. The Republikkkans got nothing whatsoever on Bernie.* Bernie is not corrupt & didn't commit crimes. *b. The Republikkkans would NEVER get into power again* under a president Sanders! A President Sanders would've canceled 1.6 trillion dollars in student loan debts, that more than 40 mill. Americans are drowning in (& maybe even canceled medical debts)! Bernie would've ended the endless wars once & for all; legalized cannabis nationwide; raised the minimum wage to $15 per hour; lowered the prices for lifesaving drugs like Insulin, etc.! He also would have released millions of people who have been locked up (and never should've been locked up in the first place), just bc. they smoked weed. *As a result* of all of this, *Bernie would be the most popular president in a century!* *Thus, in the midterms, there'd be a bloodbath... While the Dems would win more seats in the house and the Senate, the Republikkkan Party would face its extinction!* Now that the Dems have more power, the obstructing do-nothing Republikkkans/DINO's (Sinema/Manchin) would be irrelevant! An even more powerful Bernie could push the DINO's more to the left, and give the American people more, of what they want (Medicare for all; making colleges tuition free; paid leave, paid sick leave & paid parental leave, yadda-yadda-yadda)! Things that are currently not possible because of Republikkkan obstructors like Manchin, Sinema! The Dems then also could get rid of the Filibuster and pass the "For the people act" (i. e. ban Gerrymandering & voter suppression) and make corruption a crime again! *And the GQP would be just as irrelevant as it was under Franklin D. Roosevelt! FDR was that popular that he won one election in 46 of 48 states and he won 4 elections! Under FDR, the Dems held 80% of the House and 80% of the Senate! This is what is possible, if you take on the wealthy and the powerful and if you actually serve the people!* *The Republikkkans literally had to come up with term limits in order to prevent the Democrats from permanently winning elections!* *See? Politics isn't rocket science! If you serve the people who elected you & improve their lives, they'll love you and reelect you!* But since the elites managed twice to destroy Bernie, nothing is gonna happen! #DiaperDonnie, #CancunCruz, Marjorie Taylor Green, Lauren Boebert, Jim Jordan, etc., are not gonna spend a single day in prison! And if you think that this is bad, I got even worse news for you... *Trump is gonna get reelected in 2024! The Dems just guaranteed that when they completely destroyed Bidens "Build Back Better Bill" and when they failed to pass the "For the people act" (which would ban Gerrymandering and voter suppression).*

[@J.5.M.]

@@samnelson2343 History will look unfavourably on anyone who supported and continues to support Trump. Take comfort in that

[@TrueAlpha100]

Lol Cincy native here 👋 not wrong about us being “upstarts” the last time we went to Super Bowl it was the 80’S. It’s been DECADES!!! But the city itself is actually in the upswing rn. Cincinnati has been expanding

[@darkharpy13]

Love how Stephen got a 7-year-old kid to read out Baby Donnie's statements.

[@lorettanericcio-bohlman567]

It was Eric

[@Inamichan]

I love that 7 year old reading trumps mess! You should switch him up with a little girl because that would make him even more angry 😂

[@LindaC616]

😄

[@patriciaa4451]

If the vice president had the right to overturn the election results then in 2016 Biden would have had the power to overturn Trump's election. I assume Trump would be fine with that.

[@whitebirchtarot]

Good point!

[@elegantgypsyrose5328]

Oh ya ..very sure he'd be ok...and for all that....maybe Biden should do it retroactively.

[@RobertEskuri]

And if he did somehow magically win in 2024 then Kamala could overturn his election 😋

[@prezbige]

And Gore overturns Bush...lol How far will this go y'all?

[@pietrojenkins6901]

@@RobertEskuri please quickly email Kamala that message.

[@inkblotthecolt]

Whenever a gop senator tweets a quote from a philosophical figure hundreds of years ago... You can bet your ass it's not from them at all.

[@auntyconnie3941]

I can't stop laughing. Steve Colbert, you are the best.

[@GusCraft460]

Trump’s complaint was basically “why didn’t you let me get away with the crime before you outlawed it?”

[@professionalamatuer8064]

Stay amazing, Stephen! The only news I can watch without wanting to break the furniture is via the Late Show!

[@coffeeNTrees]

this isn't the news. he's talking current events.

[@gamepapa1211]

@@coffeeNTrees and news consists of current events. Do try to keep up.

[@pflasterknoedel8103]

"We thought we had this under control, but we never thought..." Quote from any Republican Senator at some point in the future

[@happyngrateful]

NOW! ARREST TRUMP NOW

[@vigviggy8689]

And they'll be right. They never thought. They almost never have ANY thought. It's just a bunch of dollar signs and racial slurs floating around in their thick skulls.

[@joromo]

"STILL NO CONSEQUENCES FOR SOME REASON, WE LIVE IN HELL" had me laughing and scared at the same time.😂😱

[@daveyboydc]

"Still no consequences for some reason. We live in hell." Somebody's been reading my jourrrrnnnaalllll!

[@Tuturial464]

Wow, Orange Stalin really don’t want to jail.

[@cc1k435]

It does seem to keep him busy. 🙄

[@jeffreyjeziorski7646]

Orange Julius Geezer. From the sunshine state where you look into a solar eclipse if you want because....... ......Freedumbs.....

[@kathrynmeetz7275]

Maybe Cheeto Head and Ghiselen

[@kathrynmeetz7275]

Maxwell will sport matching jumpsuits....that would be justice!

[@Rayzersword]

"I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord make my enemies ridiculous. ' And God granted it." - Voltaire lol

[@H0plite99]

Thank you, Mr. Colbert for articulating what hundreds of millions of us want to tell TFG.

[@kimberlys8422]

Trump is a New Yorker but here in Florida there's a thing called "Baker Act" (California has 51/50 hold) where you are involuntarily committed if you're deemed a threat to yourself *or others* That's been established. Last line of defense is calling Adult Protective Services.

[@lindaleelaw5277]

That would mean the kids would go into foster care...

[@slarson231]

Great idea. If they get thousands of calls, it will get on the news. You don't have to leave your information, just let them know that there is a problem...

[@gamepapa1211]

@@lindaleelaw5277 and they will be there forever because nobody wants them.

[@samquinn5545]

Trump legally lives in FL now

[@gentrykoda]

I doubt they even know about that law. 😂 I doubt Deathsantis knows about it!

[@IAmSuzyQ]

At this point, you're either loyal to America OR Trump, but it can't be both. I proudly choose America! 🇺🇸

[@aggressiveattitudeera887]

Word.

[@1974fatback]

Well said…. 🇺🇸

[@jnewcomb]

I'd rather be a sheep than a lemming. 🇺🇸

[@publicuser2534]

I’ve been talked over, belittled, hated and called a nlgger for my race 💪🏾, called baby-killer, and nothing but a withering alcoholic. This after a seven year stint in the USAF after 9/11. I stepped proudly forward so others wouldn’t have to. I defended a constitution I believe in and pray everyday we keep pushing forward the values that document represents. That oath was to that constitution, not a man. 🇺🇸

[@pietrojenkins6901]

And why can't we strip him of citizenship? He's the #1 enemy within.

[@notconvinced]

So Happy Monday to ALL of us who work weekends and holidays. For us, Monday is our Friday.

[@InformationIsTheEdge]

At my office, some years ago, a colleague won the football pool based entirely on which city she would rather have shopped in! So that mascot thing might not be a bad idea.

[@batgurrl]

Another stellar monologue Stephen. Your comment about Trump having yet another rally because he father didn’t hug him enough would no doubt be approved by Mary Trump. The 7 year old reciting Trump’s words should be a recurring segment every time he rambles on.

[@mikeharrison1868]

Seriously, the wounded little child inside T**** is less than seven years old. I weep for that child. But as for the grown narcissistic sociopath...

[@42.0fmthefever5]

Hey everyone hope you all had great weekend 😀 my family and I are finally getting over covid and just want to say yes Vaccine work if we only had mild symptoms but if we didn't have the vaccine I'm sure it would of been much worse hope you all have a great week 😊

[@ajt51773]

Im glad you and your family are feeling better! Have a great weekend!🤗💖

[@eerohughes]

Awesome 👌 👏 👍 happy to hear

[@42.0fmthefever5]

@@ajt51773 thank you 😊

[@42.0fmthefever5]

@@eerohughes thank you 😊

[@rhondapotter6989]

Great news! I know so many that didn't get vaccinated and aren't here anymore. It's really sad.

[@cherylpa527]

I love you Stephen, thank you for always bringing us joy and speaking the truth!! ❤️

[@yellowwoodstraveler]

I love how the audience held its collective breath as the 7-year-old launched into the word "irregularities" and everyone exhaled in relief when he got through it successfully. Adorable!

[@totalt6600]

Yelling for violence in the streets,has got to be against the law!

[@dkamphaus43]

Isn't that what democrats were doing not too long ago in response to George Floyd?

[@kuzzbillington6392]

Pilot: "it's a lovely weather and no cause for alarm... the engines work perfectly.. however we lost the wings they are attached to."

[@vercoda9997]

I'm visiting New York in June - and just learned my hotel is about 80 feet away from this show - really hope to get an audience ticket during one of my nights in America, which would be a great 50th present from me, to me!

[@maryinsanfrancisco]

That kid deserves an Emmy. He manages to turn that fetid turd's words into something entertaining.

[@sdh42]

He's getting better and better!

[@keanureeves6257]

It's my out most pleasure having you here. Hope you've all been vaccinated.

[@zoro8117]

@@keanureeves6257 no, Keanu unfortunately not. These dummy Maga-Idiots are not.

[@laalaa99stl]

"All that glitters is gold. Only shooting stars break the mold." -- Abraham Lincoln.

[@twilightgardenspresentatio6384]

Sad

[@D0ntTickleMe]

Never seen a comment where somebody quotes Abraham Lincoln saying something he never said before, you're so original! Or not

[@DustyJones1997BGCL]

We are pro-democracy and that's how we've always been here in America everybody's equal and has the freedom but when we have criminals and thatches trying to take it over we cannot let it stand that's why we have to put them all in prison especially the former guy.

[@lexslate2476]

... I mean, good sentiment, but I think you might have missed one or two details about American history. Possibly all of them.

[@gentrykoda]

Unfortunately, that's not going to happen. 😕🤬

[@happyngrateful]

NOW! ARREST TRUMP NOW

[@rkms5606]

Equal is the ideal but it's never been the American way

[@rkms5606]

Watch the documentary 13th...

[@PakRT48]

Please put that 7-year-old kid on the guest seat soon. Love him!

[@keanureeves6257]

It's my out most pleasure having you here. Hope you've all been vaccinated.

[@krejados1]

The former president reminds me of Cujo, both for his rabid madness and for one specific line (in the book, dunno if it featured in the movie): "Won't you ever die!?!"

[@Julesong]

Important note: he said IF he runs because, according to law, the moment Trump states his intent to run he must begin keeping records of his spending, donations, etc. So he’ll put off an official announcement for as long as he can to keep up his grift. He’s inciting violence AND grifting, as usual.

[@franimal86]

Based on that, I bet he won’t run lol so he can just keep the money and keep teasing his followers

[@gamepapa1211]

His idiotic followers are too dumb to know the difference and will just keep sending him money in the meantime.

[@danielgehring7437]

Back in 2018 (if you can remember that far back) there was an anonymous insider who told the Washington Post that was basically Trump's plan at the time: not even run in 2020 but keep teasing another run every four years, knowing full well that his supporters would gladly send them their whole paychecks each time he did so. It would have been a lifelong gravy train. Unfortunately, though, he later learned that being president opened the door to next-level grifting opportunities so that all went out the window.

[@gamepapa1211]

@@danielgehring7437 Clownigula knows that once you go pro scam route, you don't go back to the little leagues.

[@Nevertoleave]

@@danielgehring7437 Just like Dishonest Don and his three eldest conniving and corrupt children with the ACN Pyramid scheme they promoted. Anything for easy money

[@SLYdevil]

This could be me but.. This is 1 of the best monologs in years. Colbert has the zig; & he ain't giving it up, just sub-letting

[@elram2649]

Also: "To be or not to be, that is the question." - Sasquatch

[@ericjohnson6665]

Mr. T's "father didn't hug him enough" - undoubtedly true, but one wonders if he ever hugged him at all? "Some folks don't like hugging, they think they're too tough. I bet they'd be a whole lot friendlier if they were just hugged enough. When you hug the ones who love you, an amazing thing you learn, when you give a hug, you just can't help but get one in return." - from Fred Small's Hug Song.

[@bayonnetenor]

Whoever that 7-year-old boy is who reads Drumph's quotes deserves a big raise -- and hazard pay

[@Scarter63]

Susan "I think he's learned his lesson" Collins? Think she finally gets it?

[@jacklawer6389]

Every time she walks past a cemetery two people chase her with shovels........

[@mariag.8242]

Nope! She still won’t say that she wouldn’t support him if he runs in ‘24

[@JenniferBrown-hm4sx]

Isn’t offering pardons to voters ALSO a quid pro quo?

[@TrexelCat]

10:28 Um... Should someone tell Thomas Massie that, even though his quote image has the wrong name on it, his tweet still counts as criticism and thus debunks itself?

[@vrus91]

no, someone should tell his constituents.

[@krejados1]

That logic is way too advanced for Massie

[@elenachristian9860]

You want a GOP Congressman to employ reason and critical thinking skills? How DARE you, sir!

[@anjalileboeuf]

OMG! I thought we'd be free of anything about the former president. Please no!

[@keanureeves6257]

It's my out most pleasure having you here. Hope you've all been vaccinated.

[@MrSomebunny]

How can people seriously be Republicans and still call themselves American?

[@DustyJones1997BGCL]

I'm honestly thinking the same thing it doesn't make any sense at all 🙄

[@97Multiphantom]

A complete lack of self-awareness.

[@pforgottonsoul]

i mean not all republicans are like these lunatics but they are getting harder to defend.

[@J.5.M.]

The Republican party has fallen to new lows in the last few years since Trump. It was bad before, and I disagreed with their politics... but now it's beyond words I feel sorry for any Republicans who *aren't* Trump supporters.

[@Syisulis]

@@pforgottonsoul The sad part is both sides are to blame but, we just fight each other. Meanwhile the rich corrupt politicians stay in power.

[@jeffwatkins352]

This monologue made my week...even month. JOE IS BACK!!!

[@demeraragold4644]

"Wacky Susan Collins", this woman stood up for him. Wow!

[@SpaceForceCommander]

That 7 year-old reads Trump’s words better than Trump trying to read a teleprompter.

[@gamepapa1211]

Now that Colbert isn't doing an impression of Clownigula anymore, the kid's a worthy successor.

[@davemitchell6281]

Trump doesn't need a teleprompter.

[@gamepapa1211]

@@davemitchell6281 true, because he can't read anyway.

[@davemitchell6281]

@@petek7951 one more election like the last and the 6th will be a nice day.

[@davemitchell6281]

ghetto tv

[@aggressiveattitudeera887]

"Well, as long as you're doling out pardons, F--k you".

[@1Storm6]

THAT RIGHT THERE!!! LOL 😂 😂😂😂 And the 7 yr old is Spot On!! Btw ….. retire Brady!!!

[@TheDanishGuyReviews]

Man, the "looking like" comparisons got extra spooky today: Golden Retriever who wished to be a man, and Store Mannequin you could have sworn blinked a second ago.

[@ChrisAlbertH47]

When I look at Donnie T saying the things he says, and doing the things he does, and getting away with it all with practically no consequences, I sometimes wonder whether as a society your accountability systems actually work.

[@nekonatauzanto1758]

Accountability is overrated. So glad I live in the 21st century

[@danielgehring7437]

No, not on any level.

[@gentrykoda]

Our government knows nothing about accountability. So, don't be surprised if orangetard roams free for the rest of his pathetic life. 😕

[@happyngrateful]

NOW! ARREST TRUMP NOW

[@ChrisAlbertH47]

@@gentrykoda Sadly, I won't be surprised if that happens. Thoughts and prayers for you, America.

[@Tadicuslegion78]

Joe Burrow saved us from Jackson Mahomes Tik Toks at the Super Bowl.

[@deathsythelui]

OMG, that Mascot Method has been my go-to for a few years now!!! Only my version I Picture a full dozen of each mascot facing down a dozen of the opposing mascots. And specifically on a Standard American Football Field, with each team assuming the other one to be a major threat, and therefore fighting to the death.

[@LindaC616]

The only way I ever truly enjoy watching team sports is if there's a mascot fight. I love this! 😄

[@TylerBaraby]

Lmao, the kid they got for Trump's voice is an amazing actor.

[@AkumakoCross]

When Stephen said "Rams v. Bengals" I thought he said "Rams v. Bagels" and that shows you how much I follow sportsball.

[@thatswhatisaid8908]

I thought he said "bangles" and wondered.

[@danielgehring7437]

I heard 'ramen vs. bacon' but I think that's just because I'm hungry.

[@Fizwalker]

Yes!!! SPORTS!!!!!!

[@TheSmart-CasualGamer]

I've literally never heard of the Cincinnati Bengals.

[@elenachristian9860]

Sportsball? I think I love you.

[@xmen9916]

It’s scary the level of shameless criminal this man truly is!! He should be disqualified from ever running for government just for promoting this crazy lawlessness.

[@adamkalb1]

I know, right? Nobody who has the power to punish him has any excuse to resist it, unless they are afraid he will kill them just for finding him guilty. Seriously, how can one powerful man be stupid enough to not be responsible for the American people and smart enough to destroy democracy at the same time?

[@happyngrateful]

NOW! ARREST TRUMP NOW

[@lorettanericcio-bohlman567]

An embarrassment of riches

[@cmdraftbrn]

that right peeps. the party of "law and order" will dole out pardons for violent criminals.

[@davewebb9452]

Possibly the most brilliant staff of writers.

[@billkallas1762]

"Protests"?.......Donnie meant riots.

[@aggressiveattitudeera887]

He literally threatened to take over the country by force. Which should come as no surprise seeing as he's already tried that.

[@SpaceForceCommander]

Hug him enough? No, I don’t think Fred Trump hugged his son Donald at all. That’s why he’s a selfish no-empathy monster.

[@whitebirchtarot]

I feel sorry for him, but my dad never even touched me or talked to me and I didn’t turn out to be a monster, so that’s no excuse. It might be a reason, but it’s certainly not an excuse. You don’t have to take out your dark side on other people. (I’m not implying that you meant it was OK, by the way.) You give a perfect description of D. Trump. Right on the money.

[@Oh6Torch]

“Stiiiill no consequences for some reason…”. Comedic gold people!

[@travislayes6024]

"we live in hell, thankyou Steve". And then I'm waiting for the intro song from Preacher, lol.

[@jamedraa8472]

"We will treat those people from January 6th fairly" Are they being treated fairly now? A lot of them aren't, with their home confinement and probation.

[@joeb4142]

Home confinement? Boo-hoo traitors deserve the rope.

[@LoveProWrestling]

@@joeb4142 hes saying they should be in real jail.

[@jamedraa8472]

@@joeb4142 yeah... that was my point... I mean, at least 6 months in.

[@sophiophile]

Oh man, Brady's eyes are so close together. It's freakin me out.

[@polarvortex6496]

0:58 That does explain why the Patriots kept winning. They had a gun. Also, props to that kid. Some big words there.

[@elizabethpalumbo6516]

"As long as you are delivering pardons....F*&k You!!!!" Love you Colbert!!!

[@MeganKoumori]

"International symbol for flying monkey..." I thought that was a picture of Junior and Eric. "Please do not feed bananas. They choke on the peel."

[@jeffreyjeziorski7646]

That's all the appeal DJTJ have

[@BooksForever]

Speaking of football... Trump is sporting something like 337 lbs., mostly mouth and gut, none of it brain.

[@happyngrateful]

NOW! ARREST TRUMP NOW

[@joeb4142]

He’s gotta have 20# of clingons and dingleberrys in there somewhere.

[@xtalviper]

The "Still No Consequences" joke hurts seeing as it's painfully true.

[@waynetaylor8082]

I pray this laughter turns into ACTION!!!!!

[@Opus313]

Rams vs Bengals May the best beast win!

[@har8397]

Damn ur fast

[@MrPhotodoc]

You make jokes about the Orange Judas. But I don't think he's kidding around or laughing. I'm serious.

[@shawmutt]

He's serious, until he's accused of something, then "it's just a prank bro!"

[@danielpickton-allen8385]

I think you need to call him Trump again. He’s the frontrunner, at least for now, and he’s dangerous. That speech ought to be treated as evidence against him

[@michaelsalisbury1477]

Trump belongs in PRISON now for high TREASON.

[@anthonyteems5426]

It's the kid reading his quotes that gets me every time. I can't see anything about 45 without hearing it in that kids voice.

[@civil_villain]

Everyone's going to Twitter and making sure Congressman Massey knows about his quoting error, right?

[@samquinn5545]

Congressman Assey