Colleen Ballinger's destructive body checking

[@lizziecoen9827]

During her “apology” video when she referred to her “bony little back”, that just rubbed me the wrong way and instantly reminded me of when being anorexic and “bony” was my entire identity and the only aspect of me that I thought was worthy. I don’t know why but when she said those words it really upset me

[@grilledcheese-]

Yeah but she’s said before she gets comments made about her being TOO skinny/boney, so this may have just been her mocking those insults and not trying to trigger people with EDs

[@shelbyanderson1519]

I think it was a mix of body checking and a way to make her look more vulnerable to deflect from the allegations.

[@FabiolaRVela]

@@grilledcheese-he probably loves those comments, and she loves saying she has a bony wittle back, open your eyes 😂. She’s a malicious person, I think a lot of the things she does she means to poke fun at someone or to ridicule someone or a Situation, and she tries to play it off as “omg it’s humor guys” , she’s like every other mean girl from an early 2000’s teen movie 😅

[@AngryLittleSponge]

It hit me wrong too when I heard that line... It was such an odd time for a skinny flex like that... She's supposed to be "apologising"....? Because that's how it came across to me - as a flex... She was flexing rather than being sincere in anyway. Even in her choice of clothing for that video to show off her arms and her back when she turned... It was like a "this makes me better than you" moment.

[@AngryLittleSponge]

@@grilledcheese- Most people with ED's *love* being told that they are "too thin" - consciously or subconsciously. Even if they deny it. Even if they make out that they hate those comments... They see it as a form of approval or validation. Sounds weird but I know when I was very ill when people would tell me how I looked too thin or ill what ever I would take it like it meant I was doing it right and so I needed to continue and keep it up. I know that's just my experience and my opinion. Not saying I'm right or anything. She may well be mocking people with that line but it came across as a flex to me.

[@awetistic5295]

That "bony little back" line with the half turn was such a horrible moment. Some people got more of "look, I'm so small and harmless" vibe from it, but it just screamed showing off her skinny body to me. Especially after hearing her weight talk in the podcast with Trisha. She speaks to my body dysmorphia and issues with eating and it's kind of disturbing.

[@LindyLime]

Honestly, it could be both.

[@autumnmycat123]

she definitely wants to show off how skinny she is. before I knew about colleen very much and saw people insinuating it was ED/bodychecking related, I was like, yeah right, but knowing what I know now, it's absolutely correct. the whole song was just reveling in her own self-indulgent narcissism and it's disgusting

[@MySeasideRendezvous]

I will also like to add that the one time I was at my “thinnest” I received THE MOST compliments. Little did anyone know that I had lost so much weight because I was so deeply depressed that I was constantly nauseous. Plus any food I ate would make me either throw up or get IBS symptoms. I could barely eat anything at all for a couple years. It was so tough to get compliments during the darkest point in my life.

[@CanadianMum444]

♥️🥰

[@laurewinkelmans9501]

Being skinnier doesn’t always mean you're feeling the best. I once went on a strict diet because I thought it would make me feel less depressed if I had a great body. Then I got muscly and thin, yet I still felt so down about myself, it was hell. People kept complimenting me, but it just added to feeling bad because it made me realize how superficial society is. You only matter if you have the Barbie-figure.

[@Ali_delightful]

I also received the most compliments at my lowest, which was very bizarre to me because I was a few lbs underweight.

[@flipflopsandsocks50]

I could have written this exact comment word for word - lost a ton of weight while in a very dark place with my IBS but people kept telling me I looked good. It still fucks with me today.

[@amyseaden9069]

I have gastroparesis and am thin and struggle with all sorts of things associated with malnutrition and live of any food I can get down which is typically unhealthy. When people comment on my weight I always tell people I wish I hadn’t worried about weight while I was healthy and to enjoy being healthy. I would trade the ability to enjoy food, do activities, not struggle to do the basics, etc. with being thin any day. I would also kill for a large salad and all the other foods that I used to be able to eat versus getting infusions, talking about meal replacement drinks, etc.

[@SamanthaShelley]

It’s so easy to spot by those of us who have had EDs, thank you for speaking up so intelligently about this topic!

[@chloely_]

I loved this video. It reminded me of when I was in the depths of my ED and family members would go ''you look so skinny, you look great''. I know they meant well but the damage those words caused was unmeasurable...they linger in my head sometimes and I've been recovered for a while!

[@Dontmind8]

@ville__ You can spam that comment all over KZbin, you’re not going to win. Truth wins, always.

[@SB-dk1ty]

100%!!! I feel like the positive comments are just as triggering as the negative ones, and for me the positive ones were even MORE triggering. Still are a bit!

[@WhatMiaDidNext]

@@Dontmind8Removed their comment, we’re not giving free promo to pro Colleen vids around here!

[@Dontmind8]

@@WhatMiaDidNext Great job. 👍

[@leedawson8397]

A family member recently dug up a picture of me in university while my ED was at it’s worst. That family member characterized me as “so happy and full of hope.” People see what they want to see because it’s more comfortable than addressing the uncomfortable emotions that go with discussing ED. This got to me too.

[@kyleiq1912]

i was never complimented more than when i was at the peak of my ed, and those comments absolutely affected me as much as the negative ones. i got so much validation for my self harm, and realizing that completely changed how i speak to other people

[@BeccaDoss]

This is an excellent conversation, thanks for addressing this, Mia. I also think she 100% knew what she was doing in her non$apology video when she added the “in my bony little back” line with a “cutesy” twist showing her shoulders/back…she knew 100% that was something)NF SHE thought was a flex on anyone not in the same size body.

[@AmandaMBooks]

Omg I’m so glad I’m not the only one who felt this way. That bony little back comment gave me such an icky feeling

[@zasanz]

I got that impression too, I think she plays it up whenever she can so she can seem "frail" and make people feel guilty for being mean to such a small and helpless fragile little thing

[@grilledcheese-]

Idk I just commented this same thing on another comment but she’s been body shamed herself for being “too skinny” so she could’ve just been mocking that. It might not have been her flexing her skinniness so much as her mocking being called boney since the whole song was all about things people say about her

[@AstroMoonGoddess]

7:35 I like this point. It’s kind of like intention vs impact. You can have the best intentions when interacting with someone but you don’t get to decide the impact you’ve made.

[@Jacqueline888]

i was incredibly judgmental when i was in the throes of my ED. i was constantly comparing myself and deeming myself “better” than some, just based on body. it was the thought process of a sick person and looking back i can see it so clearly but it’s so accepted and expected for girls to be catty and mean that i thought it was normal to be that way. part of my healing involves coming to terms with the fact that how i feel about myself seeps into my surroundings no matter how much i try to separate them. judgment of self will always domino into judgement of others, because it’s the same muscle. when we forgive ourselves we can forgive anything.

[@zoeprovost-neumann6767]

Really great video. I just had an interaction at, of all places, the dentist office. The hygienist was taking my blood pressure and while putting the sleeve on said “wow, such little arms, wish I had that problem” and then asked me if I worked out or anything. Even though I’m fine with taking or leaving any comment about my physical appearance in my head I was just thinking man people really shouldn’t be commenting on others bodies especially if they don’t know that person’s history with their body. Made me really uncomfortable, not the kind of small talk that should happen in this kind of settings.

[@danishday6954]

Omg I had the same experience. She commented on how small my wrists are, and I wasn't sure whether she meant that as a compliment or as "Wow, you should work out." Either way, it felt like an inappropriate thing for her to say. I can imagine if I had an ED, her comment would've fueled it even more

[@anaunciabrazzeal4325]

Yeah I had the same thing happen to me when I got my blood drawn. My friends do this to me and it really bothers me.

[@LotusesGalaxyOcean]

I get why commenting on people’s appearance can be upsetting, rude and unhealthy. But, let us be real here. This is not a social phenomena that is going to leave. And if it did then we would be worried about it still happening behind people’s back. I don’t see stopping commenting on people completely physically as a realistic fix. We need realistic fixes not impractical ones. Some sort of way to indicate if the way we are presenting ourself is seen as our best self and thus we want compliments would be doable.

[@dannahbanana11235]

I really need to show your videos to my mother. She never ever meant any harm, but the negative self talk she had definitely rubbed off on me. I definitely have disordered eating and thinking now, and I can really see that thanks to you.

[@EmilyLyonsBristow]

Hey I know this was 2 months ago but I hope you’re doing well on your healing journey with disordered eating :)

[@zasanz]

Im only 2 mins in at this point and I have something to say: Thankyou. Thankyou for saying that commenting on peoples bodies isn't ok. It's much better to compliment someone on their dress, their grooming or something they have chosen to present to the world. I've struggled with my weight too, been laughed at for being a boy (tall lanky and flat chested) or shunned for being a ... "big" girl (120kg at my biggest). Im doing my best to stay at a place both physically and mentally where I can look in the mirror and not be ashamed and disgusted, but thats generally my experience since i hit 19. You really never know what people are dealing with

[@TheSightOfTheStars]

I do my best to comment on things people chose a reflection of themselves or their taste or style. Things anyone of any body size can have a say in. Earrings that are cute. Saying the color they're wearing really suits them. In addition obviously to acknowledging their particular traits and qualities that are exceptional and worthy of compliment! ✨

[@MichiruEll]

As a fat girl I can't tell you the number of times when people greet me with "you look great, have you lost weight?" Even though I've actually gone up in size. It's so frustrating and it makes me sad every time they do it.

[@hannahj8099]

I think when it comes to complementing appearance it has to be something that is in someone’s control. So commenting on a change of haircut or style, an outfit someone has chosen, how they’ve done their makeup or nails. So appearance can be complemented, but comments on someone’s body, skin, etc is just uncomfortable and unnecessary ❤

[@LunaBeth97]

So true! Also I love the cat in your profile picture 😂

[@alisaishere]

Just a reminder that to a lot of people with EDs, their body is something in their control and that's part of their issues. Focus on complimenting the internal, like a joke or how positive they are. And if it has to be something external, look for an accessory. Even compliments on outfits can be triggering to people, as it could be their safety clothes. A lot of my patients will get generic sounding compliments, but I mean them. Little things like "Wow, I'm loving your attitude today" or "your personality is out in full force right now" can go far in somebody's day.

[@hannahj8099]

@@alisaishere that’s also good. I had a severe and enduring ED from the age of 16 to 25, I personally liked compliments of my clothes, hair etc but actually not personality compliments and not my body or face etc. I only became appreciative of personality compliments after I found out I was autistic and and began to understand and appreciate my personality traits but before that I was too insecure to appreciate personality compliments. I also never had body dysmorphia though so perhaps I was more okay than others however most of my friends who suffered from eating disorders normally appreciated similar compliments as I did. It’s good to remember that everyone’s different and give space to each person to express what they’re comfortable with 😊

[@hannahj8099]

@@LunaBeth97 thank you! It’s my beautiful black cat Chocolate looking very intense 😂🥰 I have two other black cats, Luna and Rose, who are also the lights of my life 😻🐈‍⬛

[@LunaBeth97]

@@hannahj8099 No way! My black kitty is also called Luna!

[@dotexe6415]

I'm totally disgusted by the fact that people aren't nice to people who aren't conventionally attractive. When I was big, I was bullied by a higher percentage of all the people I interacted with. When I was thin, people were nice to me. Every single one of them.

[@kelb6073]

When I was severely sick with a chronic pain condition and literally couldn't eat more than crackers, I lost 20lbs in like 3 weeks. A guy at work told me how good I looked. I was like thanks, I'm actually extremely ill and want to die. Mind you he knew I lost weight because he has seen me before. I don't think he meant bad by it, but when I see someone who lost a drastic amount of weight within a month I don't jump to wow look at you!

[@joyousengineeringstudent2525]

A big part of why I developed an eating disorder was that I was treated so much better after losing weight. I’m afraid people won’t like me if I were to gain weight.

[@dotexe6415]

@@joyousengineeringstudent2525 Yeah. I NEVER got body shamed when I was think. I did get bigger again, but the same thing happened after I started being bullied again.

[@dotexe6415]

Since this person has seen me last, I've gained in the realm of 2 digits of kg. He accused me of being bulimic last time I saw him. This time, he said, in an incredulous voice, 'YOU'VE packed on the weight!' Seriously? He didn't believe me when I said I'm not bulimic, and still chose to say that?

[@Claireisamuffin]

this is such a great video, I recently lost quite a bit of weight, I've been struggling with binge eating disorder for about 10 years and have finally felt like I have it under control with medical help, but the comments at work are relentless about how "skinny" I am and how great I look. It makes me anxious to even go to work now.

[@unicornsandstuffohmy]

What a well done video! I've been thinking about this kind of thing more often recently. Back in June, I was headed to Pride and a little girl, maybe six years old, asked her mom, "Why is she in a wheelchair?" and her mom replied, "Remember sweetie, we don't comment on people's bodies." I thought this was a lovely parenting moment. And it's not as if we can't compliment people, we just have to be mindful about how we're complimenting them. Things like, "I'm obsessed with your outfit! Green is your color!" and, "Your lipstick makes your eyes pop!" or simply, "I love your hair!" are all compliments that work well :)

[@Louisyed]

Although I agree that we should never compliment people based on their weight, it would be useful to head you speak more about better ways of complimenting people e.g. that dress looks lovely on you or that haircut really suits you. I don't think all compliments are bad and sometimes I like people to acknowledge when I've made an effort or a partner telling me I'm hot! Sure you dont know how people will interpret it and can't guarantee what will be problematic for everyone but general pointers or a general discussion would be good.

[@babyxoxo5804]

missed you, mia!! i hope you are having a great vacation. really loved your input on this

[@PogieJoe]

This is so beautifully put! The more I learn about Colleen, the more I dismayed she gathered such a massive child fanbase...

[@kamilla6175]

For some reason, this video hit really hard. I just realized I think my mum might have been body-checking me. I'm underweight due to a medical condition. A lot of people with my condition have an ED because eating can cause severe physical pain, my mum knows this. (Thankfully I do not have an ED, probably thanks to years of therapy and support during this). Still, she will comment that I "should stop trying to gain weight" the moment my belly bloats up, which happens when I get really sick (and at these times my weight usually drops even more). Then she will randomly say that she was very skinny at my age, and "Just you wait, the weight will come". She talks badly about my sister and my fiance that has bigger bodies, even though I never entertain and stop the conversations. She also talks about my body proportions, how my hips are bigger than my boobs, and that she "also gains weight first in the hips". When I was about 19 she and my aunt would say things like "Didn't you get your boobs before you were her age?" pointing at me. Also, she would GRAB my arm, point at someone on TV and say "Look, she has skinny arms, just like you!". I thought I was weirdly shaped, boney with a big bloated belly for years... but in reality, my proportions are normal, and today I am **slightly** underweight, with yes, a belly that abnormally bloats up when I'm sick sometimes, but looks do not matter at those times... or any time for that matter. sorry for ranting, but this behavior frustrates me so much. She will tell me about how bad she felt about being tall and skinny in her teens, but she was the one making me feel the same way, and I was unable to gain weight. She did not focus on my health, but on my looks... wow... Being skinny was bad, and gaining weight was bad. I don't understand what she would want. I was athletic at the times my health was better, and anny visible mussels were bad too, apparently that "looks masculine"?????

[@amylilliann]

Ahh I love when two creators that I love follow each other. Thanks for speaking up on this, colleens obsession with being skinny wasn’t covered enough by other commentators/h3 so, sooo glad someone is speaking about it!

[@_politefrog_8892]

Fantastic video. Growing up people would constantly call me beautiful and never compliment anything else and this caused an ED in adult life because I thought if I’m not beautiful then I’m completely worthless. I didn’t feel this way about other people I saw other people as amazing and worthy of love and respect for a million different reasons than looks, but for me I saw myself as completely worthless so I better stay attractive because there’s nothing else good about me. I’m finally healing

[@carablake4865]

Thanks for the great insight on this. This is all super helpful info that I wish everyone was aware of. I can relate to well-intentioned "compliments" to my body growing up as having a negative outcome by resulting in me feeling like I had to maintain that body size to continue to be worthy. Also, i hope you have the most fabulous vacation. It sounds like a lovely trip.

[@charessa9725]

Eye opening video for me in regards to commenting even " positively" on appearance. I think we have a responsibility towards others in being careful about what we say and changing how we think and our social conditioning but we also have a responsibility towards ourselves to not take personally comments made by those who are unwell and are still stuck in their conditioning and to cultivate security in ourselves while planting the seed (educating) them on how their beliefs are harmful to themselves and others. This might be easier for adults but as adults we can teach younger people to be secure in themselves because the hard work of unconditioning ourselves as a whole planet will take a while longer and they need that foundation of protection from us as adults transferred onto them being able to eventually shield themselves from those who don't get it yet.

[@ElizAbeth-xq4il]

The other part about this is that body comments also assume that we have so much more control over our appearance than we actually have!

[@JasKhalid]

Wow. I am so thankful I clicked on this random Colleen video this morning. I’m 7:28 in and I had to pause. All my life I have placed my value on my appearance and only in the last couple of years I have tied to tie it to other things like my down to earth nature, my honesty and my heart as my beauty relied on my body being small and since I was heavily overweight for the last 5 years I have been battling, trying to find self worth. People since I was little have given me compliments, with good intentions, not knowing I would cling to that believing it was the only good thing about me. Now 35 and very average looking I am trying to find new ways to accept and love myself. Thanks for sharing.

[@AnnaNicol-l8i]

Great video, I think you are right about how positive comments can be interpreted in harmful ways. Since my divorce I have been trying to meet new guys online and keep being complemented on my breasts and I start thinking “it’s because my face is ugly or they don’t like my personality” and has done damage to my self esteem

[@Stalemarshmallow]

Thanks for bringing light to this, I could certainly tell she had an ED

[@cv2919]

OMG fellow H3 fan??? Love that. They should have you on one time to discuss ED’s weight loss body image positivity and all of your areas of expertise! I feel like it would be a great discussion. Great video!

[@kateduggan2827]

Mia is an OG H3 fan. I remember her talking about their love story/the way they met loving the message of Ethan overcoming his anxiety and talking to Hila. So cute!

[@cv2919]

@@kateduggan2827 Love this!! Super cute

[@Sinead_Orebellion]

I’m so glad I stumbled on this video! I’ve been trying to understand why I feel uncomfortable when people compliment my body considering I work hard for it to look good. You helped me understand that the implication that my body=my self worth (and the resulting internalized pressure to maintain that body) is why a well-intentioned “positive” comment can have a negative impact on my mental health. 🤯. Thank you!

[@Oceanlee261]

This woman has 3 children... I feel bad for them... no idea what kind of mom she is... but all the negative surrounding her is really going to impact them later on in life... It's very sad.

[@awakenow4048]

I am an undersized adult.....I'm a shade under 5 feet tall and have had EDNOS most of my life, plenty of differing body sizes....but I stand out because of my height and although people might say I'm cute and tiny or whatever, the comments at least about that never stop. I think I'll be self-conscious for the rest of my life. Strangers feel totally fine commenting about my body. My existence is altered as a result, I walk around with fear that it's going to happen, and it always does. Never talk about people's bodies. In any aspect. It's a killer.

[@petabulmer3317]

So glad I found your comment. I am four feet eleven, and have been very much judged and underestimated for my entire young life. It has shaped me in very negative ways, and I find it hard to trust people. In many ways I have it very good. But certain things echo in my head to this day. I am 48 right now. And I have learned not to let people mess with me. And I get respect. Don't lose hope. You are worth something. 😊❤

[@zuglymonster]

I'm short, I'm only 4ft 9. I can't even come close to giving you an estimate of how many times people have stopped and asked me "how tall are you"??? I'm in my late 30s now so I don't get "I thought you were a kid!" anymore, which of course makes me happy and depressed at the same time because now I think "I must look so old and gross"

[@Jen99__]

I’d be curious to hear a conversation about compliments or even criticisms relating to body like clothing, makeup, jewelry and how that’s not directly linked to your body but still about someone’s appearance and connected to your body and how that can affect someone’s confidence or mindset

[@picachugirl2036]

I never would've thought complimenting someones features could be harmful, Ill definitely be more aware of that. I could see that as such an innocent mistake

[@domoast]

You're still around! I used to watch your videos all the time in my recovery. Actually learned intuitive eating from you. 😅 You've helped me so much when I was at my lowest. So happy to see you're still a beacon of hope in the dark.

[@johannahoneyman697]

It is so true that receiving so called ‘positive’ comments on your body has the same effect has negative ones. I received ‘positive’ comments on my body most of life. I received more ‘positive’ comments the more disordered my eating was. It made me feel self conscious, scrutinised and it put so much pressure on me to stay the same body size.

[@llamacity164]

This video came to me at such a perfect time. Just came from judging myself and criticizing the way I look, even though I feel healthy and well. I came looking for more negativity and drama, but you have really helped to remind me to love myself because the way I look doesn’t change who I am.

[@ShannonRose99]

I loved this video. I had severe Crohn’s disease growing up and really struggled being chronically and nearly terminally thin. For me the smaller I was the sicker I was, and the more visible I felt my sickness was. People would either assume I did have an ED and pass judgement, or assume my smaller body was “healthy” or some kind of standard even though I was literally dying.

[@qly2032]

Tbh I never liked my body even though I was on the thinner side. At the peak of my ed, I hit my "goal sick distorted" weight but I hated my body as well. It is only during my recovery, the heaviest I have ever been in my entire life that I appreciate my body. This goes to show you that thinness doesn't equate to self confidence.

[@carolking4124]

yes to hawaii content and thanks i learned a lot here

[@julieandrew]

I have already purchased my ticket and cannot wait 😊 13:19

[@kateduggan2827]

You’ll love it! I did the workshop earlier this year and learned so much 🤍

[@juliasanders9155]

I said to a friend one time "omg you look so skinny" implying that she lost weight and I realized after I said that, that I shouldn't have, simply because maybe the person wasn't being healthy in their weight loss, maybe she didn't want to lose weight at all, etc. I've had to unlearn that completely. I refrain from any words regarding peoples' bodies now.

[@mylettucehead]

TW: possible ED, starvation, brief mention of self harm and an abusive relationship God this video is making me realise i might have had an ED as a kid. I grew up with a very high metabolism, and i ate a lot, but couldn't really gain weight. I was extremely thin, between the border of healthy and underweight. And the praise I received, the attention, quickly had a negative effect when my body started bloating more after meals. And i would eat one or 2 meals a day just to stop my body from bloating and changing because i thought my self worth depended on staying thin. Also skipping meals was a way to punish myself during my abusive relationship, whenever he did something and made me feel like i was the toxic one. Even now i can't gain weight. But I'm okay with bloating. Im okay with my body being a body, and I eat when I'm hungry. Though last year i did develop binge eating to an extent.

[@megxnjones]

me after going through 5 years of treatment only just realising that all the positive reinforcement for my weight growing up may be an underlying reinforcer for my eating disorder :( - its never talked about enough!!!!

[@legok6037]

2:10 absolutely. TW weight and body image. My Grandma recently commented "you lost weight" she thought it was a positive, but since I'm the same weight I was last time she saw me and its a healthy weight for me, it kinda threw me for a loop. I've always been on the thinner side and don't have a lot of body issues, but it made me question did I look like I needed to loose weight? Did I look too thin? Had I lost muscle tone I needed to gain back? I just told her that I didn't think so, and that I'm not trying to lose weight and never have and that it would actually be concerning if I was. I can't even imagine what those kinds of comments would feel like for someone who does struggle with body image.

[@AlicePRabbits]

A few years ago I lost 25 pounds in a month despite eating normally, and people complimented me how great I looked. I had just been diagnosed with adult onset type 1 diabetes. I HAD A DISEASE!!

[@pinkbubbblegum21]

Love your videos

[@a24-45]

Great discussion Mia. I agree with all your points 100%. I would like to add some experiences of mine to back your advice to avoid body parts commentary altogether. I sometimes get praised by other women for the shape of one of my body parts. I have a smaller than usual waist. (It's something I've had naturally most of my adult life. In every other respect I would say my appearance is unremarkable and average) I can't tell you how uncomfortable such praise makes me feel. It's as if I feel envy radiating off the speaker and hitting me. I swear there is pain behind her smile, her face telling me that by my very presence, she feels less worthy and less attractive. Then she gushes that I'm so lucky and I should be so happy --- as if my small waist should compensate for the problems in my life. What's wrong with me, I think, I have no excuse to be unconfident or depressed because I am "blessed" with this rare and precious gift. And then I am obliged to politely thank her for the compliment, by this time I'm awash with guilt for hurting her and also for being ungrateful for my "superior" body part. I am quite sure neither of us is feeling better as a result of this verbal exchange. Sometimes I wish I had only oversized clothing, and then no woman would ever notice my waist again. I don't want to feel better or luckier than anyone else, and I certainly don't want to cause anyone else to suffer low self-esteem for a second. Body commentary is altogether a minefield. As you say, let's build each other up with praise about our values, attitudes and actions, and leave comments about our bodies out of it.

[@amt9289]

People need to think before they speak. You never know what damage your words can inflict. Be kind.

[@AvonleaMontague]

Weight loss wouldn't have been as satisfying if no one commented on it. That's just me. I really appreciated it.

[@mimimi5656]

This is such a good video, thank you for making this

[@agapeeternal]

I was SEVERELY bullied when I was in school, from like 1st grade up to 9th grade when I left regular school and moved to independent study. I was laughed at, people said the cruelest things and to this day, at 34, I’m still suffering from the long term effects. People have no idea what this behavior can do to another person. Or really, they just don’t care.

[@MyWolf96]

I was at a theature club and 2 weeks befofe the show one of our performers went off sick with an on going gall bladder issue. When he came back he had lost a lot of weight and one of the older ladies went up to him and said he looked good and he needed to lose that bit of weight! I was shocked.

[@kateduggan2827]

Body hate and body love are still centred around an obsession with the body. We don’t love our friends and family because of their bodies. Their bodies should me neutral to us. Compliments are best shared about people’s choices, creativity and hard work 🤍 practicing body neutrality for my loved ones helped me extend it to myself

[@ElpSmith]

This video really put my thoughts into words because being tiny all my life and finally gaining weight and becoming a more normal size has really messed with my head

[@kvarner6886]

I'm curious, do you think it's okay to tell someone something like, "you look nice today?" I wouldn't say it to someone with an ED, as that could be taken as "you look skinnier" or " you usually look like shit." But an average person, I'm not sure about.

[@zasanz]

Yes absolutely, because no matter what size you are you can always look nice :). I have bad social anxiety and one of my "tools" is to compliment strangers, and I am telling you, you don't know how NEEDED it is. If I see someone who has a nice dress, or cool shoes whatever (it doesn't matter what it is, but it'll be something they have chosen to wear or do that day), i will literally go up to them and say "Im sorry to interrupt, but that coat is amazing on you, it suits you so well", or "Wow, I love what you've done to your hair, you look amazing" its telling them they look good, without really drawing attention to their bodies, just how they choose to adorn them. Just be careful, if you come across a woman who has been feeling absolutely crap about herself, and you compliment them, they may cry. Edit: I think its important to say things like "that looks good 'on you'" or, 'that really suits 'you'' if your just saying 'that coat looks great' its not really 'pinning' the compliment to the person

[@jusagosi]

maybe skip the "today" part, go for compliments that feel more "permanent", like "you ARE pretty"

[@ilTHfeaa]

@@zasanzi always try to compliment people on things they choose like their nails or their outfit or jewelry or something that was a choice. people don’t choose their body so i don’t ever comment on that lol im always telling customers at work that i love their outfit/nails and it makes me feel good when they smile and say thank you and you can tell they were happy to get it :)

[@taytubeofficial]

Been waiting for this

[@carolynmclaughlin8077]

Very good insight

[@whocares7093]

The "positive" comments especially hurt in ED recovery, when you get to a healthy weight again, and others keep commenting on how good you look now and how much the weight suits you or whatever. It is already so hard to get used to the new weight, let alone being consantly reminded that other immediately notice it.

[@yahainHotPink]

Enjoy Hawai'i!! 😄😄

[@autumnmycat123]

i just clicked on the video and haven't watched this yet, but THANK YOU for covering this, colleen's obsession with thinness and pushing it onto children is so disturbing and no one is talking about it

[@Talentedtadpole]

Spectrudoes not mean scale. It does not have ends.

[@oliviamo]

What are your feelings in complimenting someone’s hair or outfit? I often do that but now I’m wondering if it might do more harm than good. I’ll say something like “I love that dress!” Or “your hair looks so good today!”

[@scabby666]

Interesting

[@DizzyME13]

I just don’t like the idea of making people afraid to compliment one another. ✌️

[@johannacarr3246]

It’s very dense to get the idea that complimenting people is bad from this. Just don’t comment on someone’s weight, or other things they can’t change easily

[@yahainHotPink]

I am glad I'm not the only one who has been keeping up on this Colleen stuff, lol. It's a shame. I was subscribed to her regular channel not the Miranda one and did not know all of this. Definitely had to unsubscribe. The behavior you mentioned is definitely a problem. 💔

[@gill8486]

Glad someone said it. She's so angry all the time bc she's starving

[@user-mr5pe7de9j]

Where can I find the video that you are referring to?

[@sea_hous]

I wanted to comment to see if you might have any ideas + commentary on someone who has an ED visa vi extreme intestinal pain from eating. A woman on YT with an ED just passed away from her disordered eating and I've been confused by how the word ED encompasses food restriction as a result of pain. It doesn't seem like the same animal to me. I've been suffering from mold toxicity (and other toxicity) since childhood. I've only recently discovered this and after doing aggressive and very painful detox have been able to broaden the foods I eat regularly. In 2022 in an effort to save my life I went down to just beef (the Lion Diet) which kept my living a little longer to figure out more about my situation. That diet is clearly not optimal but it has kept many people in horrific health circumstances alive. Even as I was doing it I knew it was not ideal but the pain I was in would not afford me more food. This visually looked like orthorexia but it simply was complete and utter desperation to continue living. This is also known as bio hacking. So I guess I'm sort of confused why someone who started to restrict food because of extreme intestinal pain would be put in the same camp as people with EDs. I sometimes wonder if people in that group actually have a functional medicine problem visa vi bacteria, mold, heavy metals, and pesticide in their body that isn't allowing for a fuller diet. Maybe this subject could make for a good topic, not sure. Of course for someone who strives to be thin and suffers from obsessions and compulsion around it I could see how this justification might feed their illness. But for some this is just a reality so it's a bit confusing.

[@rachelhansen2417]

If someone does want to comment on something appearance related, clothes and eyes are a much better route.

[@kemoywilliams380]

As someone who had anorexia, When I saw colleen's apology video, I said the same thing to myself.

[@shannond1511]

Colleen literally looks so little and frail, and that’s not. A compliment, something I noticed with her ukulele is that it doesn’t look like a small instrument in her hands and that the angle of the camera makes it look like you’re looking down upon a really frail person. Her arms remind me of when someone has been sick for a very long time

[@mariaaerac]

I came here for the drama but I got educated instead

[@jaheke3550]

Most of these comments show that you people haven't followed Colleen. She goes to therapy, has dermatillomania, has stated she has body dysmorphia, ADHD, etc. Be kind, people. Be kind.

[@ir9567]

I saw this and I know nothing about being ED

[@krtierney]

Watched this bc I’m concerned for Ariana grandes health after seeing her breastbones. A lot of them. I’m crying.

[@florence.5088]

Kind of click-baity considering this video was barely about Colleen. You briefly mentioned that Colleen's team told a fan she was fat and that Colleen complimented Adam for being skinny, but most of the video was a lecture on why commenting on people's bodies is bad. I thought you'd dive deeper into Colleen's history of being obsessed with her body image, like when she was really upset about not fitting into her pre-pregnancy clothes, the podcast with Trisha, the "bony little back" line in her apology video, etc. There was a lot more to say about Colleen specifically, not sure why you turned this into a 10 minute vague lecture instead.

[@LelynnsSquirrels]

no1 poses for the camera as much as Eugenia Cooney

[@Kapplerartbloomingdale]

I am a human rights activist. How can one lady ruin others through criticizing their bodies when she cannot look at herself? She is and was out to be a monster of body shaming. I have ednos and body dysmorphic disorder and this insults me.

[@dove.9833]

👏🏻💯

[@kmbj61]

I think Colleen is desperately desperately depressed. Her anorexic body is worrisome. 😢 as far as all the drama, let those without sin throw the first stone.

[@justpeachy4393]

Yeah she looked gaunt in that most recent vid...

[@treearoha]

I hate it when people have to mention the weight I’ve lost in order to compliment me. Just tell me I look good, that’s all you have to say.

[@vqlleyofthedolls]

destructive body checking? ☠️ what about her destructive GROOMING

[@STP981]

Two things can be bad at once

[@vqlleyofthedolls]

@@STP981 how is bodychecking as bad as being a pedophile??

[@pawndon1898]

out of all the bad things shes done you choose to make a vid about THIS?

[@kelb6073]

Colleen is a sick sick woman

[@karinababy6557]

Tha k ypu for addressing her serious eating disorder invaded wondering why no one else was bringing it up, I understand it's not just about that but oh my god.

[@rhi963]

omg the fact that you watch H3 🥹🥹🥰

[@WhatMiaDidNext]

OG fan right here, I watch their 'We met at the holocaust museum' video before I go on dates.