Condolence Etiquette I’ve learned since the passing of my dad, Jerry Savelle - Part 1

April 15, 2024 my life changed forever-the greatest man I’ve ever known (besides Jesus), went to heaven, my dad, Jerry Savelle. The moments and days after his passing we received an outpouring of love, support, and prayers, which we were so very grateful for-he was loved by so many!
However, there were a few things I learned NOT to do when someone passes on-and these I want to share with you.

[@scottrhoades1313]

As a Pastor, These are such good common sense tips on proper etiquette. Thank you. Praying for you all

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate you saying that.

[@chrisdavis405]

Agreed. All of these are such common sense applications.

[@stephaniestallworth3753]

At my church, my pastor shared with our leadership team the importance of proper etiquette when someone has passed away. It was great to be reminded not to ask questions about what happened, don't go over and talk to them or stay at their home for hours. I experienced this when my dad passed. My mother was so kind she wouldn't say she was exhausted so we had to protect her and not recive phone calls or guests so she could rest. People just dont know.

[@jerriannministries]

Good wisdom!

[@KJ-lb4tj]

The 'don't go over and talk to them' might need to be tempered with also don't ignore them. When my child died, not one person from the church called to see me or to say anything. Two elders called at my home and, not knowing what to say, didn't mention that my child had died. That's just as poor.

[@stephaniestallworth3753]

@KJ-lb4tj I feel you. Had a miscarriage and no one from my job called me. I think they felt like I needed privacy plus I don't think ppl knew what to say. My church and family were amazing. Helped me through this very difficult time.

[@RebeccaKhan-fx7jf]

My heart goes out to Carolyn, who shared. It took courage and conviction for her to pay tribute and share. My prayers are with you all.

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you 🙏

[@RobiRosenbaum]

We were heartbroken when we heard of your precious father's passing. I listened to and loved your father's teaching and ministry, for many years. His kindness and generous heart was so refreshing from a man of his caliber. I truly am praying for your sweet mom, you and your precious family. 🙏♥️

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you so much. 🙏

[@suerenfrow864]

Thank you for sharing your insights and your experience. Your dad was so precious and really spoke truth. I learned greatly from him, and still am. I am so sorry for the insensitivity and tackiness of that person requesting reserved seating. It's disgusting and appalling that they called your father's phone to make such a request. I'm so sorry for all of these things from well-meaning people added weight to your heavy grief stricken hearts. I will continue to pray for each of you with love, admiration, and blessing.

[@Mary-gl6uk]

Jerriann, that was so well said and I could not agree with you more. God bless you…

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you 🙏

[@kristenbroad7749]

When all the dust is settled you find out who you real friends are. I like that your calling this out its needed.

[@kwilson248]

Until you’ve faced such sadness and emptiness it’s difficult to know how to respond. You think you know what to say or do ….but after you’ve walked through it you realize you never understood. This is Excellent advice/suggestions for someone who doesn’t know what to say or do. Personally I feel it takes a lot of time to even want to respond to condolences, etc because many things don’t seem as important as they did before a loved ones passes. Our love to ALL the Savelle’s. No need to respond (great suggestion!) You’re an amazing Woman and we ❤️ you

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate your words. 🙏

[@KarenHauser]

Absolutely true. Very well said. Much love to the entire family.

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you 🙏 🩷

[@monicaswavel6074]

Thank you for sharing. Very helpful in order to be a blessing during one of life's most painful times. 😘🙏💔

[@susanmunoz7688]

Dear Jerriann,, we love you all and want to apologize for any insensitive that happened after your Daddy passed. We love and are praying for you all.❤

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you. 🙏 🩷

[@wannaduckfin]

Love and prayers for you and all of Brother Jerry's loved ones. He was and IS my favorite teacher for many years. Love to Carolyn❤️❤️❤️

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you.🙏

[@deborahhenry8980]

Well Said!! Thank You.

[@debbiesmith5455]

Precious girl- I have been praying for you and your family since your dad went to heaven. Your comments are well founded and I know it comes from a place of being helpful and at the same time frustrated from other's ignorance, lack of sensitivity, and sometimes plain ol’ unawareness…praise God for helping you manage so much!!. I always loved seeing your dad in San Diego and will miss his visits. I’ve read several of his books and listened to many of his teachings. His legacy lives on in so many ways! Bless you all❤️😊

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you 🙏

[@ellenhickey102]

EXCELLENT ❗ Jerriann, later on, you should publish this as a mini book. You would think a lot of this would be common sense, but evidently not. People need to hear this subject, and you will be meeting a tremendous need. God bless you ❤

[@jerriannministries]

That's a great idea! Thank you

[@Rasfamaz]

I could have used this advice as a young person. I never knew how to respond. ❤

[@waynemanoffaith34]

This was much needed. Thank you woman of God. This word is right on point!

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate that. 🙏

[@deborahhenry8980]

Thank You, Jerriann. This needed to be said, and I appreciate you sharing "condolence etiquette". Helpful ❤ Blessings to you all. 🙏

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate that.

[@pamelabrown2028]

Many blessings to you all. He was, and always will be a great man of God!! What a legacy ❤🙏👑

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you

[@lizzyatstarbucks]

Jerriann, this is a good, helpful video! Thank you! Your life shows a depth of true wisdom and strength!

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate that!

[@singerjo5791]

I have always felt like I didn’t do enough when trying to comfort others at a loss. This helped me to know that I have handled it correctly. Sometimes there are just no words.

[@RebeccaKhan-fx7jf]

I remember how I felt when I heard of my Dad's passing. The last thing I wanted to do was hear someone talking nonstop to me. I was already draining from grief and wanted to be alone.

[@jerriannministries]

Understand that. 🙏

[@lesleyhubble2976]

Well said, it’s always hard to know to say the right thing because it’s the end of an era

[@shelbyoakenshield9093]

Jeriann I think that one of the gifts God has given u and Terri is you have such child like spirits of humility It makes me humble when I go to talk to God I thank and love u both.

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate those words. 🙏

[@s.j.9575]

As a former grief counselor- you are right on dearest Jerrianne. People mean so well but knowing how to react towards a grieving person is one of the most socially awkward situations. God bless and keep you! ❤️❤️❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@jerriannministries]

I’ve learned a lot myself, during this process! Thank you 🙏

[@BillLong247youwin]

Thank you for putting this out there. I went through some similar things when my wife passed away and people think they’re trying to help but it really hurts and makes it hard. My prayers are with you and your family your father planted many good seeds of good things in my life. Thank God for your father and thank you for putting this video up. It is much much needed.

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate you saying that. I have learned things during this difficult process.

[@bobbiecamp2054]

I really got tired of hearing this during my loss of my husband, “you are so strong. Stay strong during this! I broke when someone said that to me. I literally screamed, I’m not strong! IM sick of hearing that! So, please people don’t say that to someone that’s grieving!

[@jerriannministries]

I understand. Someone said to me yesterday, “it’s time to dry those tears!” I think I can cry as long as I want to. It’s part of the healing process.🙏🩷

[@Georgie-0811]

@jerriannministries That's terrible. No one should say that to you. It just happened. And yes, you grieve as long as you need to. ❤

[@marionobrien306]

Well said. I still go to bed every night listening to your father on my CD player. Still learning from him. May God continue to bless your family.

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you!

[@jordanlong8322]

As one who's own father went to heaven 4 years ago this weekend, I understand all this. The first couple weeks is just about doing what you need to in order to walk through the process of things. Excellent advice I hope many can learn from. Your dad impacted the course of my dad's life and ministry, and mine also. You all are on my heart constantly. ♥

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you. I appreciate your words 🙏

[@davidthomas360]

Thank you for sharing these important thoughts. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Your father has touched my life and enriched everyone who encountered him. Thank you for being so open and ministering these important points.

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate that!

[@Tina4Jesus]

Greetings from Singapore ! I came across your father's videos on KZbin and have been very blessed... Many of my prayers pointers I use today are actually from your father.... Was shocked to learn of his sudden passing, but actually I also envy him a bit for he must be having a ball right now in heaven ! Please don't ever delete any of his videos - I really need to watch them all..

[@jerriannministries]

Glad my dad’s ministry is a blessing to you!

[@kathyatkins955]

This is so needed. Thank you for sharing your beautiful heart. ❤

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate that!

[@lynneerikson616]

Thank you for speaking out about such a sensitive subject. All too often we are only dealing with our own grief and are not thinking about the immediate family. I hope many people will hear your heart and think before they act when the situation calls for it. Still praying for your family as you walk this out ❤

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you. I appreciate your words and prayers.🙏

[@ruthnohitsch5202]

I have learned that less said is better & timing is important. Love & prayers to you & your family.

[@jerriannministries]

Yes! Thank you!

[@candygirl9923]

These are very good tips I’ve been through the process and I agree with alot of the tips …. I guess we need to understand he’s known by millions so yall probably received way to many text and calls it will overwhelm you so I understand ❤️❤️❤️

[@apostlepatricedelorantis4473]

This is perfect! Sometimes, people just need common sense. The worst thing is to say, " their in a better place." I said, " I'm a minister, I know their in a better place if another person says that I want to clock them!" It's important to be led by the HOLY SPIRIT. Bless you

[@jerriannministries]

So true! 🙏

[@sandrawood7408]

Prayers for all of the family. We love your dad and miss him very much. He is in our future. No need to respond. Love and prayers for you ❤

[@CarolAalund-m6z]

Very important message. Proud of you for doing this. I lifted you & your family in prayer.

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you 🙏

[@leannekirkman2888]

Thank you so much for sharing. This is so helpful. It’s hard to know sometimes how to respond when someone’s loved one passes.

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate that. This was just from our families perspective. I know everyone’s process is different.

[@vickimcclish3587]

Thank you so much. This was very helpful. I'm still praying for you all. ❤

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you 🙏

[@marthafifield2929]

Thank you for sharing this with us. My heart goes out to you and your family. May the Lord continue to comfort and strengthen your family. 🙏 💕

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you 🙏

[@Ken-nk5dc]

I really like and agree with what your saying Jerriann. On other note I was admiring your place as the backdrop. I really like the finished renovation, I was following your updates right up to the frame , roof on stage. You, Carl and all the Savelle family are so loved.

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate that! We’ve kind of put the remodel on hold since Daddy’s passing, but we’re gonna start back up again soon and finish what we started! Thank you

[@wannaduckfin]

I do appreciate you sharing these things you learned. ❤

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you!

[@VickiTV19]

So many things you have mentioned here is all a part of the GriefShare class. So, so many people have no clue about what to do, how to do it when someone passes. Especially with your family who is in the limelight. Grace is an important characteristic when it comes to grief of someone is so important.

[@allaboutrose2247]

Totally agree with you, still praying for your family. We love you ❤️🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate the love and prayers 🩷🙏

[@blairsvilleplayplace]

My friend lost her mother recently too and I didn't know how to respond... So, I just told her I loved her and was here when she is ready... this is a helpful video REALLY!

[@jerriannministries]

I think that is the perfect response! 🙏

[@MerylChetty-j6n]

Thank you, Jerriann, for sharing some wise thoughts, May God Almighty bless you & rest of Savelle family with His Great love & care 🙏

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you. 🙏

[@MerylChetty-j6n]

@@jerriannministries 🌻🌺

[@pamelagipson8488]

In everything you are going through, you are still thinking of how to better others. It takes a lot of compassion on your part to reach out to share this information on how to respond during a traumatic event and here you are, explaining, enlightening, and encouraging on how to love, how to do the right thing. Just for you to understand that we don’t always know how to respond in these situations and loving us enough to show us how… Wow!Thank you so much for walking the love walk in front of our eyes, considering others by not taking offense to our dumb mistakes. Just how in doing this is showing others the love of God. You are an example of Love in action and I personally thank you. My heartfelt love to you and your family for all you do to share Jesus Christ and the love of God. Your daddy changed my life in so many ways; there could be a book. ❤ Thank you for sharing your daddy, your life, and your love.❤🙏

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate you saying that. It was done in love and also a learning process for me that I just wanted to share with others. It blesses me to know what an impact my dad‘s ministry had on your life. Thank you.🙏

[@Anonymous5689-ow3mf]

Thank you Jerriann. This is very helpful and insightful. Please write a book.

[@nyeshagreer2467]

Thank you so much for this. How helpful it is to know what to do and not to do in this type of situation.

[@russellpowell6634]

Everyone processes grief a little differently. The best thing most of us can do is pray for the family and as seems right to relate our go to comfort Scriptures. With a beloved public figure such as your dad the response is magnified by the millions. Everyone who cares wants to somehow deliver their support. Amongst our family it used to be that shocked mourners would instinctively gather. Then together plans would be made and comfortable and strength be found together. This has changed in the last few decades.

[@rhondajoyce6814]

Bless your heart.

[@harrygarrett9178]

Hurtful, painful, needed, Truths! Thank you!

[@maryemmons8318]

BRAVO!!! Well stated! ♥️🙏🏻♥️

[@theresapaliathan938]

Deepest condolences to you and your family. I also miss hearing your Dad. I started listening to him at 6am on Sunday mornings. I just wanted to let you know that in South Africa, the families have a family spokesperson who fields the calls and answers questions. Consider this in mind for the future. Strongs💐🙏

[@michelleahrens5797]

Totally agreed!! By the end of covid, all my immediate family had passed. It was a lot for a single person w no family left to handle. I understand everything you said. Some called every day, 2-3. Giving of info,etc. It was info overload. Even when i didn't answer my phone, i had someone immediately come to my door. If someone doesn't want to answer their phone, don't make a personal appearance at their house. Bless you Jerrianne❤❤ Everything was well said. ❤

[@jerriannministries]

So Sorry to hear what you’ve been through. I so agree with you. 🩷

[@madeleinesutherland6323]

Beautiful words of wisdom Jerriann. Well done sweetheart!🥰💋

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you so much 🤗

[@mjflores100]

Thank you for sharing! You are so brave!!! ❤🤗❤

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you. Just felt I needed to share.

[@TheReol]

This is fantastic info!!!! Thank you! Finally someone informs folk of how to conduct themselves. Thank you

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate that.

[@karenmanceau5693]

Thank you for sharing with all of us what are excellent guidelines for grieving situations. I treasured those friends who reached out after life when back to normal and let me know I was still on their heart. Questions that allowed me to talk and remember were invaluable. “What was special to you about your mom?” Such healing ….

[@jerriannministries]

That’s beautiful 🩷

[@veronicapratt7305]

My mother in law passed exactly 1 week before Bro. Jerry. Add to it that she was also a Pastor, and a hula teacher, and well known in her community. It was devastating, and like you all we know where she’s at and are at peace..BUT we miss her…In the first few days I even stayed quiet around my husband. I gave him space and stood by him at a distance until he was ready. Thank you for this. It is extremely helpful!

[@jerriannministries]

So sorry to hear of her passing. 🙏

[@nelp7935]

Very helpful Jerriann. Thank you so much for sharing. Praying for you 🙏

[@jerriannministries]

Glad it was helpful! Thank you for the prayers!

[@megsurface4294]

Thank you so much for this! Your loving encouragement has aided me in knowing what not to do in situations such as this. I am still praying for you and your family and will continue to. Thank you for your openness and your vulnerability.

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you, and I appreciate the continued prayers! 🙏🤗

[@sherifrantela2339]

God bless you Jerrianne and that's good sound advice...I've tried some of those at passing of people in my life...I will add what you have shared...you all are loved so much and in my prayers continually...many hugs!!❤❤❤

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you so much and I appreciate the prayers 🙏

[@davidseguin8447]

God bless you and your family praying the Holy Spirit comforting you

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you

[@Kitten49able]

Thank you for sharing this so needed in the body of Christ, praying for your family

[@AngieMC87]

Thanks for sharing.❤ still praying for you all….❤

[@jerriannministries]

Thanks so much

[@dbll827]

Thanks Jerriann!This is so good and very rarely said!God bless you and the family!❤

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you

[@jazzye_92]

Thank you so much for sharing this insight and your heart Jerriann. I grew up listening to Brother Savelle and my family's thoughts and prayers have been with you and your family 🙏

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate that. It means a lot!

[@lucasmartins1974]

Jerriann there is such wisdom on how you all dealt with this time that relly helps me to know how can I help friends in the same situation, sometimes we don't know what to say or don't say or the righ time. I thank you for share this deepfull thougths

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you! I appreciate that.

[@renamaemcdonald2075]

These points are very helpful. Thanks for sharing your experience & heart ❤️ Still praying for your whole family ♥️❤❤

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you so much!

[@dolorescompean1507]

Thank you Jerriann for posting this beautiful heartfelt message I took it upon myself to share it with my family and friends, you stated it so kindly I personally will use it in the future ❤

[@jerriannministries]

Thanks for sharing!

[@susanthroop1279]

This is an important video in the day and age of texting and social media....appreciate your time to do this!!

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you

[@alfredniresh]

Well said. Thank you for taking the time to share this piece of valuable tips 🙏..

[@jerriannministries]

Thanks for watching. Just things I’ve learned through this.

[@vannlogan1552]

Thank you jerrianne, I appreciate this. I'm glad you made this video.

[@jerriannministries]

That means a lot. I really appreciate it.

[@bezaassegu7384]

Thank you for sharing! This is very helpful 🙏🏽

[@giselleturner5687]

Thank you. I've always wanted to know how to handle this better. Thank you. 💗

[@jerriannministries]

I have learned so much in this process.

[@Anna-bw7co]

So very sorry for the inappropriate expressions towards you and your family. Thankful for Holy Spirit's comfort and guidance to lead you to share so that others in your sphere perhaps will not have to experience added pain.

[@christinearias8147]

Thank you for sharing this information because it is so important to know what is proper.

[@jerriannministries]

Glad it was helpful!

[@dbll827]

Love that “praying for you no need to respond “.

[@kayf6268]

Well said Jeri. You are courageous to speak out.

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you.

[@candicearanda32]

This was such a good video idea. Thanks.

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate that!

[@paulinemayse9560]

Very good tips. So sorry some people were so insensitive to your pain. I love you and your family. Still praying for you all!🙏🏻💕

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you so much! 🙏🩷

[@stephaniewilson6031]

Yes, you’re so spot on - went through similar matters when I loss my mom 7 years ago; I think folks mean well, but it’s so overwhelming 😢😢😢. I’ve been praying for your entire family and I can’t imagine what you all are going through.🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽❤️❤️❤️know you all are loved ❤️❤️❤️

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you 🙏

[@collettelopez5070]

Thank you for sharing, I understand, I can relate, I’ve been there. I’ll be praying for you……

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate that! 🙏

[@katrinabennett2759]

Soo sorry for your loss 😢. Thank you for addressing this, and from such a very personal point of view. 💔

[@carolhoffmann5327]

Beautifully spoken 😊

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you! 🙂

[@underhiswingsministry]

These are such great points. May I add one that you may or may not have heard. “ well they lived a good long life”. Maybe it is very true but even if someone is 95 they are no longer with us which is painful. God bless you my sister.

[@jerriannministries]

So true!

[@Gjayln4553]

Thank you jerri, this is so helpful. Thank you for doing this. Xxx

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate that.

[@healinginhiswings]

Thank you for sharing, this is helpful.

[@jerriannministries]

I’m so glad!

[@bethcornelius4156]

So honest of you to talk about this. Thank you.

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate that.

[@crystalcupp8611]

Thank you Jerriann. Valuable information ❤

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate it!

[@janicenorman7530]

Thank you so much for this much needed video topic.

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate it

[@mariasolguse5340]

Thank you very much Jerriann for sharing this ❤

[@meredithpollock3165]

Oh I am so sharing this video, you have put this so well.. People need to learn these things ❤❤&🙏🏻🙏🏻s still going up for you from RSA 🇿🇦because it is still raw and will be for a while.. 💐💐

[@jerriannministries]

Thanks for sharing and your words!

[@annaKPS91]

Perfectly said Jerriann! Love this and yes, you should publish it in a blog or book series.🙏❤️

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you. 🙏

[@cvillagio]

Excellent!!!!! ❤

[@jerriannministries]

Thank you! 😃

[@amani2222]

There is no perfect way to offer your condolences. Some people overwhelm you as you described and others under react or not at all. Neither way is a good feeling. Grief is a very lonely journey that nobody can journey with you. No one but God can comfort you. You just learn to survive and live without your loved ones.

[@DosBlade]

Don't think I have ever done this before but.. oh thank you so much I will remember this.

[@christinapace-]

When my grandpa passed nothing took that hurt and sadness away. I still have moments of crying when I think of him but it doesn’t happen as often. I know where he is but I still miss him. I love talking about my papa and love to share stories about him. Grieving is a normal part of life. I’m so sorry that people were so audacious that they only thought of themselves during your time of grieving. I continue to pray for you, Terri, your Mom and family. God bless you all! ❤

[@jerriannministries]

We appreciate your prayers 🙏

[@NewJeruMusic11]

Very helpful. Thank you

[@jerriannministries]

So Glad it was helpful!

[@PastorCheryl]

Very well said and very much needed to be said. Thank you.

[@jerriannministries]

I appreciate that!