Confessions of a Lonely Woman… Overcoming Isolation Starts with this Decision

Confessions of a Lonely Woman… Overcoming Isolation Starts with this Decision
Do you ever feel lonely or a little socially isolated? You’re not alone! To one degree or another, every woman in our community has felt this way at some point in their lives. Some of us still do!
In this morning’s show, I’d like to share some advice for overcoming loneliness by focusing on the one thing that you can control… yourself. I hope that today’s video helps you to find the happiness and friendship that you deserve. You are not alone.
Do you ever feel a little lonely? What positive steps have you taken recently to feel more connected to the people in your family, neighborhood, church or city?
Read our article and join the conversation here: sixtyandme.com...
****GET 20% OFF YOUR NEXT EASY SPIRIT ORDER***
Thanks to our sponsor, Easy Spirit. Find your dream pair of shoes and get the comfort and style you deserve. Use promo code ES60ANDME2019 at the following link (Don't worry, it goes to easyspirit.com): www.anrdoezrs.n...
****MAKE MORE FRIENDS THIS YEAR!****
If you believe in our mission to improve the lives of women over 60, please consider supporting us on Patreon. Learn how here: / sixtyandme
****GET MORE FROM SIXTY AND ME****
SUBSCRIBE to my KZbin channel and click the bell for notifications: www.youtube.com...
Be inspired to live your life to the fullest with our "Aging Beautifully" inspirational cards: sixtyandme.com...
Watch all of our yoga for seniors videos for FREE: • Video
Also, remember to check out everything Sixty and Me has to offer here: sixtyandme.com/...
#ConfessionsofaLonelyWoman #SixtyAndMe

[@joeespo177]

It's better to be alone and lonely than to be in a relationship and lonely.

[@Kim-Dalton]

Well said...

[@littlewing4065]

Bam.

[@thewordbtrue2461]

So true!! I live with a ghost walking in flesh. namely, my husband- an avid watcher of TV. talks to me rarely and only while are eyes transfixed on TV. cant see grands live far away. my children (6) all married except 1. shes moved to Puerto Rico. just my ghost with me. my spouse

[@bethleblanc656]

I'm totally agree!

[@racheljolley26352]

@@thewordbtrue2461 yes, it is possible to be married and lonely, not what one would imagine married life to be. This happened to me, twice and my heart goes out to you Trish 💕🌈

[@daisymaefrench4041]

I read a comment that Robin Williams had made: "I used to think the worst thing in the world is being alone. Not anymore. It's being with someone who makes you feel alone." I've been married twice and now live with 3 cats who are loyal, affectionate and caring. That's more than I ever felt from a friend or husband. I'll stick with the cats any day. At least they can be trusted and don't hurt you.

[@ES-mc3cc]

Kitties make the best friends.

[@joandebruin3847]

Sad but true,pets are more loyal than humans.

[@sussev721]

That's absolutely true. I have always loved animals. I have 3 dogs . They are my best friends. They adore me and are so very loyal and caring. They make me feel loved and needed. Not the mention the welcome I get when I come home. Whether it's been 5 minutes or 5 hours since I walked out the door, I get a greeting from them as if I've been away for months! (:

[@bethleblanc656]

I'm totally agree with you!

[@suzettecooper382]

How very true

[@1suitcasesal]

When I was young and lived in the city, surounded by people, I was very lonely. Now I am 64 and I live alone in near wilderness and my nearest neighbor is 3 miles away, yet I never feel lonely. I had no children and no family near me. It might be that cities make us lonely. I am actually surprised at my lack of loneliness. You know, you can be with people, even people that you love and still feel lonely. I think maybe it really comes from within. A disconnection from yourself, perhaps. Also living as I do, there is always something to do --- garden, chop wood, get ready for winter, care for the animals, fix things that need to be fixed. I really cannot say what the answer is other than I am surprised at my lack of loneliness when I am so isolated from society and other people. I wish everyone in this discussion much love and happiness.

[@melindanix7363]

You're probably very sensitive as I am .we connect better with nature and animals ; social media , news & many people drain us to the point of compassion fatique .

[@TASIAawful1]

Janet Wells I believe you are an empath.

[@TASIAawful1]

Melinda Nix indeed

[@1suitcasesal]

I became telepathic with my horses. If ever they were frightened or in trouble they would send me or I would pick up a picture in my head of what they were doing -- like caught in a fence, etc. I would also get the feeling of what they were feeling at that time. Sometimes even when they were being naughty and chewing on things to escape their corral I would get a picture of that too. Horses are easy to be telepathic with because they are so sensitive themselves. All it takes is trust and love and respect.

[@1suitcasesal]

Maybe loniless comes from forgetting our conection to nature? I really don't know.

[@Michelle-qd9gm]

It’s not just older people that gets lonely it can effects everyone at any age

[@Liz-in8lu]

Michelle Thank you! I’m 34 and watching this...

[@JB-ue6pw]

very true Michael , at 56 loneliness is a killer trying to find someone to injoy life with is like a poisen,or bring a sneak in to your life.

[@algolpoo6313]

Exactly! I’m 36 and I feel lonely since I’m 30. I moved to United States because of my husband’s work and I don’t have friends, family or anybody besides him and I spend so much time completely alone. I relate to so many of the things she said.

[@algolpoo6313]

I guess I almost forgot how to make friends.

[@Michelle-qd9gm]

@@algolpoo6313 bless you sending you a big hug 🤗 xxx

[@sarahkittelson622]

There are worse things than being alone....like being in a bad marriage, or an abusive relationship. That was terribly lonely and a hopeless feeling when I was there. Being with the wrong person isn't a cure for loneliness, and I think internet dating is a mistake for older women. The men I met (most acted like they were on a job interview) want a woman to come in and cook, clean, run errands and warm their bed. I don't need more chores or someone to tell me what to do, or act like their priorities are the most important. I don't need a boss, and refuse to be a 2nd class citizen in my own home. These behaviors might be a generational thing, but I'd rather be alone than deal with the assumptions of a man who thinks my job is to make his life easier while I work myself into exhaustion. Be careful what you wish for! Find a hobby! Volunteer! Get a pet! You can do it! I love the peace in my life now, and doing what I want to do. It's my time, finally!

[@rosalynne8792]

Oh...yes. most older men are looking for a "nurse with a purse"...and who needs that???? Sad but True!

[@kimv4688]

This made me feel so much better today!

[@sylvesterpaul7105]

@@rosalynne8792 but some are looking for real love

[@sylvesterpaul7105]

@@kimv4688 how are you doing Kim

[@sylvesterpaul7105]

You can be more correct

[@suzettecooper382]

Loneliness is a personal issue. I live alone in a country town. Do all my own jobs around the house and yard. I'm very busy but very lonely. Loneliness makes me cry and sad. At 64 I don't see it changing. My animals are a total blessing as is my garden. Everyone sees loneliness differently. Everyone who feels lonely I wish you the very best.

[@LCMxox]

May I ask where you live? Or main county/country?

[@LCMxox]

I only ask because I house sat for a friend of a friend and it was in a bit of a rural area. I enjoyed it but the three and a half hour drive once or twice a month was a bit much.

[@suzettecooper382]

@@LCMxox I live in nsw Australia. The nearest larger town is 39 kms away. I moved to the country from the city because my late husband wanted a tree change. I've met some lovely people but as myself they have their own lives.

[@cathychase663]

You aren't alone - I am busy too but very lonely. I make efforts but people aren't really very nice now. I can't start up meet ups bc I am scared of rejection.

[@sylvesterpaul7105]

@@cathychase663 hello dear

[@Marie-ij3tk]

Great topic. Here is what I do. I I ask myself right away: Does this thought make me smile? Does it make me happy? If the answer is no, then I ask myself, can I let it go? Or return it to its owner... with love. Then I concentrate on what makes me smile... a flower, a pet, a book... It works for me. Eevery time!

[@donnakinsey2053]

Beautiful way to redirect oneself! 🌺

[@georgiannmaloney6594]

I just got a job working with children and love it. Not lonely now...just exhausted at the end of the day. Helping children is a great thing ,as they are our future.😊

[@kathymyers7279]

Georgiann Maloney o god. I tried that. Already did that. Don’t have the patience or the gushy left over love.

[@judisnyder4868]

Being content in your career helps a lot!

[@jerseystotler3615]

I have to comment on this subject. At the age of 61 I bought a farm in the state of Missouri and moved here from around the Chicago area the gentleman who bought the farm with me left after 7 months. Now I want to say I've always lived around family and friends. So it was a bit much to handle being alone in the beginning. But I bucked up rescued 2 cats and two dogs!!! You see I was married 3 times almost my whole natural life. Now I am FREE. I do get a little lonely sometimes but I love my farm and my animals. And Ladies I dont drive at All. So I'm basically a shut in but I would rather have this than some of the aloness I have had with partners anytime💝💝😊😘

[@1suitcasesal]

Jersey Stotler I think you have the answer. Cities make people lonely. Being alone on a farm where there is always something to do and plants and animals to care for removes loneliness. When you are alone in a rural area you get to know yourself, accept yourself and do things your own way by yourself. I think it's wonderful.

[@ladyshrink22222]

Jersey Stotler I’m very happy for you! I have RA but I spent much of my one, good long lasting marriage in the country.

[@ladyshrink22222]

I was married 44 years, since age 19 to a great guy who got Dementia. We are still married but can no longer live together. I have RA so just getting the necessities requires valiant self effort. Many people have encouraged me to go to assisted living. I don’t want to be vaccinated to death like they do to all people who live in communities. So, that’s not for me. But I’m sure your advise is a jumping off point for some. Any ideas for someone with RA, an extremely unpredictable illness that can vary from day to day who doesn’t want to be force vaccinated in a group institution?

[@delanelauderdale9099]

I know exactly what you mean; you have peace, freedom, and contentment; but sometimes it'd be nice to have someone to talk to, to share ideas & plans with...😌

[@harley8680]

@Shoshanna I think if you found the right group of people it could work! I am a stroke survivor (age 50) but I no longer work because of neuro fatigue. I dont drive, cooking is a minimum etc. I have wished for a home (and I know many others that are high functioning survivors) where I could have a room and a "adopted" family where we all pitch in. I cannot afford to rent around where I am without finding a room mate.

[@dapage5]

I’ve been living in a narcissistic relationship for 56 years. He alienates us from friends and family. So God is my source of love and friendship. I listen to certain religious programs on podcast that are very uplifting to me. And prayer is very helpful. I go to the gym and eat properly that keeps my mind alert. I also crochet and knit that helps.

[@lindawilson8434]

Yes God will never leave me

[@1010divajap]

Why don't you leave this marriage?

[@Rett-qv7ti]

Amen! My faith helps me to never feel alone. This year I am focusing on aligning with friends who believe in God and try to be positive people, because that resulting inner peace is powerful and “contagious”.

[@wendywright5486]

​@@1010divajapstop it people who ask this do not understand the consequences of being in a financially dependent or abusive situation it's not that black & white. Walking away from them isn't possible for some, like me, where the family & business, Finances etc. Are tied up for years as well as trauma bonds. Please research Dr Ramanis work on getting out of these relationships before you ask anyone that again it's not that cut & dry

[@rebeccacook4252]

I have never felt more lonely or isolated than I do now. I am hoping some fairly major changes currently taking place in my life will give me the freedom to change that. But this video really resonated with me. Thanks, once again, for sensitively discussing a such a personal and emotional topic for so many of us.

[@jendivehall2338]

My beautiful Margaret....one tip I have learned is if you live in a city, try to find a cafe that you vibe with...has a nice space, you can feel comfortable being there on your own reading a mag or book over a coffee...if you go regularly enough, walk in with a smile, get to know the names of the cafe staff...it becomes your hangout place. You will start to see other regulars, ....a then conversations will happen if you just BE and give off a warm energy...it so works for me...

[@quirkycancerian4818]

I do the same! It does help me a bit for sure. I have illnesses I suffer from so it keeps me home a lot. I do love me some Netflix and You Tube! 😁🙏💛🌹

[@1romancatholic]

Mom does this at 82

[@shelenashares3640]

I am socially isolated and yet I avoid going out.Love that I found your channel!

[@amaliamorales5606]

The cure for loneliness is we have to learn how to motivate ourselves and keep ourselves motivated

[@IExpectedBSJustNotThisMuchBS]

That's the cure for some types of loneliness perhaps.

[@evansbrown4481]

Facts! We just have to keep going

[@sandrapicciotto2508]

Your so correct. Keeping ourselves motivated. When I feel alone I stop and have gratitude for what I have. And I now the good lord is with me.

[@sunshine9016]

I agree but it isn't always easy. I find that setting myself a routine, especially in the mornings, helps me get going.

[@mom2maxangie867]

As an introvert it is challenging to find the balance between connections, which are so important, and the necessary alone time. For me, carefully chosen volunteer work is working really well. Being with other people with a common purpose helps me feel I'm contributing something, and the relationships that are forming are a wonderful by product of having shared values and goals. The trick is to be mindful of the balance...

[@liabeachy]

mom 2max&angie I’m happy for you and I do believe the service to community helps fulfill an emptiness that can’t be satisfied by just social things alone . I’m going to volunteer soon just don’t know where yet . Prays for good for all 🙏🏽😊

[@roseyc.5846]

I, too, am an introvert, with a touch of social anxiety. However, I do feel very lonely, as all my loved ones have passed. Adult kids too busy. My "shelf life" expired long ago, imho.

[@millenka8089]

I am single and I love it. Very occasionally do I feel lonely. I feel that my own company is enough for me. I feel complete and whole as a single person. I don’t need another person to fulfill me or to be happy with. I find that people don’t want to break out of their comfort zones and make new friends. They don’t take the time for it. So I am content without them. I have the freedom to explore the things I love and not be encumbered by them. It’s taken some time to get where I am today but I honestly don’t crave the company of others.

[@judisnyder4868]

Mildred Goclan I think your contentment in your career helps a lot.

[@kelvinstafford3245]

Your post spoke so much to me. I am an introvert myself, and i feel lonely a lot too, i come on social media to fill whatever gap i may feel. Would you mind if we got to know each other better?

[@libbyadler9360]

This is a wonderful, brave topic and really resonates. I do think our modern world contributes to this problem. People no longer live in small villages generation after generation. We move away from our families and tend not to live out our lives in close knit communities anymore. Our jobs may mask that and substitute for a while, but when we retire those connections are lost as you so correctly mention. If our families are not nearby, if we do not have lifelong or even intergenerational roots in a place, if we are no longer working, feeling truly connected can be hard. True connection is a deep sharing of values, history, and experiences that cannot be easily found, and the very freedoms we enjoy can contribute to a sense of rootlessness and a sense of aloneness that is not easily fixed.

[@janemills1839]

I had a Husband, family, beautiful home, friends, social life, money, and yet I had nothing. I was so lonely I would be eating Dinner and wondering what the hell I was doing there. In laws didn't like me from day one, isolated at home putting in a front of happiness, it was awful. Husband divorced me, married someone he used to work with, stung with pain I decided I would never have another relationship with anyone apart from my immediate family. My friends all knew about this woman but no one told me until I found a photograph in his wallet 2 Years before we divorced, one of the worst days of my life. Now I'm happy alone, with no one lying to me xx

[@bettylee7778]

With loneliness comes depression.... Every morning in the shower without fail I'd have my cry sessions..... I felt like I just didn't belong anywhere.... I was already saved..... However still seemed to be in a dark lonely place.... I began to read my Bible an pray all of this brought me closer to Jesus.... And I found a beautiful sense of comfort, love an peace in my life.... Get to know Jesus he gave his life to save us..... 😃

[@margaretwhittaker2291]

Amen and AMEN Sister

[@pawpads9397]

Betty Lee u should really go talk to someone I think therapy is great, their being b paid to listen to it all,i am a firm believer not dumping on friends, its too much, i dont like being done to me and wont do anyone else, Dumping is wrong wrong, i go every other week or so, hes fabulous even tho all it is is a dumping session gone rogue(lol) try it, i also meditate, and love crafting, light gardening and art and film...my health has been somewhat challenging with carpal tunnel but i keep pushing thru...cheerup me Ladies, after this is all said and done thats it...live you...buy a pet, buy some plants start a window sill garden....no one completes you but you, they're just a compliment to your already fabulous self

[@bettylee7778]

@@pawpads9397 Beautiful ideas!!!! I have done talk therapy.... Didn't like all the medications they try to throw at you.... I found wonderful results through prayer and meditation.... Exercise helps a lot!!! I love gardening and plants. .... Also have been wanting to get a puppy......😊💕

[@bettylee7778]

@@margaretwhittaker2291 Amen!☺️

[@maem7636]

Betty Lee, 🍂" Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. " ROMANS 15:13🍁

[@carolobrien1617]

Margaret, you are doing more topics about emotional issues and I love it. There is a huge need and you and other senior you tubers are filling that need! Don’t get me wrong, I still like make up and other fun videos but as an ex social worker, I can truly say you are helping so many people!!!

[@michellereese8951]

I'm only 54 yrs old and had my children very young. They are adults with their own lives which I understand but it really breaks my heart that I feel so disconnected. Just a call or visit once in a while. Being single is even harder and the loneliness is killing me!

[@tessferrazzi3060]

Yes, at 64 and with two grown but single kids, widowed twenty plus years ago, I can feel loneliness. I have also struggled on and off with depression and anxiety. But......I try to start my day with some prayer and/or meditation, maybe by going to church, and in this way I get feeling more hopeful and even loved and protected by a loving g Father. Then, if He suggests I do something about helping certain people in my life, I go ahead and do so....whenever I exit my own head, I find a kind of joy that fills the heart, the soul, and the mind, freeing g me from the sensation of being 'alone'. Besudes, if He loves us, and we accept it and reciprocate, we can never truly be alone!

[@bittersweet6507]

This is beautiful. 💕

[@Sandra-bx6yy]

@@bittersweet6507 and very true!🤗💕

[@sylvesterpaul7105]

@@Sandra-bx6yy hello dear

[@Sandra-bx6yy]

@@sylvesterpaul7105 hello! Have a nice day.

[@snow40741]

I can relate and I am in my 50's...family lives far away, introvert, worked 30+ years...I agree....I feel depressed, I dont have the best eating habits, weight gain...thinking of therapy...people wouldnt know...I keep my appearance up...hair, nails and clothing to go to work etc....I walk around this world and I feel invisible....

[@1010divajap]

As we get older, we do feel invisible sometimes. For me there's almost nothing worse than that. So I am fairly flambuyant. That's my remedy for that particular problem. I also don't look for that from others. Sometimes you find what you are looking for. So it's important to keep a very positive self image and not let little voices tell us otherwise. I don't know if that helps. I just know that I have stayed current with events, how I look, what I talk about, and what I think about.

[@carmenchavez991]

Don't forget us in our 70's!!!

[@sixtyandme]

How could I Carmen - I am 70 myself :-)

[@sixtyandme]

Love all women over 60 - 70 - 80 - 90 - 100+++

[@helengreen6724]

@@annejohnston8696 I wish I could turn back the hands of time to my 50s knowing what I know now. My life today would be so much better.

[@starcatcher3691]

@@helengreen6724 Can you share your wisdom?

[@mariacvonloewenfeldk8856]

I am 85, my husband has dementia, I am estranged from my daughter ,my choice , and rarely talk to my son, with whom I used to be so close. His choice. We moved into a very nice neighborhood in town after we sold our alpaca ranch. But here , everyone just stays to themselves. Church no longer has meaning to me, but I still pray and most of the time feel close to God. I came to America when I was 14, but have never been able to connect to many women here in the states. Cultural differences ? I dont know. I dont know if I feel lonely or lost. I do a lot of reading , am learning body work to release trauma, from experiencing 4 years of of war, 6 years near starvation diet, and the lose of my home, grandfather and friends. I tried to find support groups for care giver, but so far no luck. I thought I found one ,but the rules were no "woa is me." Just general topics often unrelated to real issues facing care givers. I have a lot of grieve and wish I could find a good grieve counselor. So far not much luck either. Most want to do behavioral modification therapy , which does not really treat my issue. So I keep looking and mudcleling along.

[@harpgal9950]

Aging is a rather lonely process. No one wants to hear about the aches, pains and changes that accompany aging. Declining health, limited finances, families living around the world and the passing of friends and relatives all contribute. I don't think we can escape a certain amount of loneliness. Having a faith community is important to me. Also being able to find purpose in volunteer work where I can bring some joy to others. And my pets - caring for them provides structure, purpose and joy. God gives us gifts in life but we must be willing to see them and accept with gratitude.

[@roseyc.5846]

Harp Gal I do the same. But, there are days when I see no light on the horizon and just want to give up. I could give up on keeping my appearance decent, and stay alone. No one would miss me at all.

[@harpgal9950]

@@roseyc.5846 Keep going, Rosey C. One day at a time. Find something you enjoy and do it! I hope you find purpose and joy.

[@laurawalker546]

Exactly true

[@Kiki-cb3hl]

True.

[@pawpads9397]

Harp Gal doesnt have to be, join a pottery class, senior Yoga, movie club, book club, choir, prayer group, tai chi, write poetry, write a childrens story and self publish all these things you can do alone or together

[@terriestapley5475]

Thank you for this video it helps to know there are others out there that feel the way I do. I try to stay active but as you said after retiring life has changed. I have grown children who are busy with their lives, also the majority of my friends are married and they spend the majority of their time with their significant others. I suffer with depression it’s a constant battle, I feel lonely every day. You would not know it to look at me but deep inside I’m hurting.

[@liabeachy]

Terrie Stapley we are not alone in this . I’m pretty much the same and it is hard . I’m 5 hours away from any family so isolated myself and trying hard to heal after much traumas . It’s the figuring out where to be for what’s rest of life and try to be happy ! Pray we all find our happy place 🙏🏽

[@terriestapley5475]

liabeachy Thank you so much❣️

[@patriciarussell7487]

Same here,you are part of our club!! I'm ok. being alone most of the time,but there are times....💙💝

[@roseyc.5846]

Terrie Stapley Many of us share the very same situation. I know I do. I'm glad we can share these feelings with each other.

[@OlderWomenRock]

Terrie sending a big hug your way . Like Margaret says it can be hard. I think many of us sometimes feel lonely . Life certainly changes as we age . 💞💞

[@jbond847]

Thank you Margaret for highlighting this. I am incredibly lonely, I returned to the UK 5 years ago after many years abroad. So far I haven’t made any friends and it is humiliating. I fell downstairs and was unable to get to a physio appointment - they said why didn’t I ask a friend to take me - what friend? I asked at the library if they knew of any groups I could join - they weren’t helpful. I went to a WI meeting and nobody spoke to me, they all sat in their cliques and I sat by myself. I was welcomed by the WI leader and stood up and said I was sorry I could only stay for a short while because my bus was due shortly. No-one offered me a lift home and these were all local ladies. I didn't go again. I did chat to a lady on the bus once who told me she would go to a shopping mall just to see people and I knew exactly what she meant - I did the same. Being able to say hello to the bus driver meant a lot. Then our bus service, which only ran 9 times a week was axed completely and I never saw her again. I tried to meet neighbours - I put Christmas cards in their letterboxes with my name and address. No-one ever responded. This is loneliness, no friends, no family, no-one to talk to.

[@joiab11]

I'm thinking of you. Keep trying! Someone will show up for you. Maybe a knitting class? I understand how you feel

[@SSsmith24]

J Bond It’s a horrible feeling,,, I’m so Sorry..Ive been this most my life, 62 now and I am a introvert and alone

[@jbond847]

@@SSsmith24 Bless you for speaking out to me. My family travelled so much that I was never anywhere long enough to make friends at school and I think those are the friends that stay with you. I'm nearly 70 and I get by most days but sometimes I feel absolute despair. Where do you live, I'm in England xx

[@jbond847]

@@joiab11 Thank you, it is these small gestures that make such a difference xx

[@starcatcher3691]

That WI meeting...not sure what WI means but maybe just giving it more of a chance. It's most likely not personal and if you keep going you would probably find your place.

[@faefunston4076]

I am 79 years old, twice widowed, living alone but not lonely. I am a born again Christian who loves seving in church, meeting others, and making a difference! Happiness is a choice and I choose to be happy in the Lord! He makes the difference!

[@glamygirlie]

It is in giving love that you find love and consolatión.

[@brendandonaldiarmaid3110]

Fae funston Do you know loneliness is a normal reaction to feeling disconnected from others either physically, emotionally, or both. But that doesn’t mean that it is an easy emotion to live with. And loneliness can sometimes be a trigger for other mental health issues like depression, Do you have anybody that makes you happy apart from God, and how often the you communicate with him or she

[@laurasoftheart]

Volunteer! There are so many needs out there. Look around and you’ll find your niche. For me it’s animals. Besides having my own much loved cat, I take care of cats at the animal shelter When I get the focus off myself I never feel lonely.

[@loveblue2]

So true, Laura! Very true that an important way to take care of ourselves is to fill a need in others! Thank you for being so caring.

[@rosalynne8792]

Yes..volunteering in an area of interest is good...

[@kathleentinley1477]

I am very lonely. I don't mind living alone but I am lonely. The only people that ring my phone are scammers! Yes I am crying inside. So glad you posted this. I am in USA and I don't think our government cares about loneliness more less than anything else but not really sure. I do go out and I am very sociable but still feel lonely. I still work full time but the people are all for themselves. I tried to get a bus trip together to go to a dinner show and no one was interested. Watching youtube does help somewhat! I do have a cat but he bites!

[@mamaautism156]

you cold be lonely if you have a severely handicap adult child you worry who will care for him or look after his care after the parent is gone. Lonely if you play a role as a caregiver.

[@patriciaking7892]

Mama autism, I know the feeling oh so well. I don't want to socialize anymore. A caregiver to an adult grandson with schizophrenia. I raised him from 7 wks to 20 yrs. I'm not even myself anymore, but I have to keep pushing through the pain. Stay Blessed 💘.

[@kevinmskelly2359]

My heart goes out to you! Do you have a support system? Seek this out in the community...you need support. It will Gove you better quality of life! Hugs. Nurse Kathy

[@kevinmskelly2359]

@Patricia King. God bless you. This is a difficult life as you described. Find time for yourself...it is not too late. Wishing you quality of life! Nurse Kathy

[@ladyshrink22222]

mama autism I won’t even pretend I know how hard this might be. I can only offer my prayers and best wishes for all your worry. God bless you.

[@glgardener4972]

Great topic and how true. I just quite working a couple of years ago and realized I had no friends. My close friends had died. Others had moved away to be near family. Coworkers were not friends-very different interests. I was so busy with work, family and church that I had not continued to make friends. Now I have the time. I left the church I went to as they were not accepting of new people. I get out and cycle, walk and travel. I used to volunteer a lot and do not choose to go that route. I do believe that our society has contributed to this as we all become disconnected thru moves and all consuming employment. I am considering taking some classes: baking, college level, and just for fun learning. It is harder to make friends but it can be done.

[@sixtyandme]

Hope you decide to take those classes! :)

[@glgardener4972]

@@sixtyandme I have already signed up for one at Zingerman's and getting ready to sign up for one in Vermont. I would like to start a business.....not sure how to start.

[@glgardener4972]

@ss I have a great relationship with the Lord and go to church on line mostly and will be attending once in a while at my sons wonderful church.

[@lindawilson8434]

@ss yes

[@delanelauderdale9099]

@@glgardener4972 i'm so glad you have found a church, but more importantly that you have a relationship w/ God. Something similar has happened @ the church that i've been attending nearly 50 yrs. This had been almost like a death as well, but i know the Lord will make a way.

[@patriciarussell7487]

Your hair looks lovely today! I'm happy to have quiet,calmness,and rest.But there are times when it hits me.Lonliness. I take each day at a time. I invent errands twice a week,just to get out!

[@annpane1227]

I got a kitty ... now on the 2 ND set of three girls in 25 years. I am not lonely.

[@bittersweet6507]

@@annpane1227 I agree ... a pet brings an energy and love that is vital.

[@patriciaegan7370]

I greet each day as an adventure.

[@Timetampering]

Patricia Egan what a great frame of mind to have. Thank you I am going to adopt that attitude for myself. Just what I needed to hear today. Namaste

[@BethPeppersCoats]

Absolutely and I'm only 55! I'm married, I have a child in college and a grown son who is getting married in the Spring.

[@constance4065]

I understand all too well how loneliness feels! Ever since I started having health issues my friends don’t come around anymore. Some have even stopped coming around. Guess I’ve learned who my TRUE FRIENDS really are!! Btw Margaret, you looked Great today! The colors are so pretty on you!!

[@sabah4123]

U know who yr real friends are when yr down & out. 🤷‍♀️🇦🇺

[@sylvesterpaul7105]

@@sabah4123 you are very correct , how are you doing ?

[@jessicaholting2362]

I’m only in my 40s and I do experience this loneliness thing. I’m single, I have never been married and it’s seemingly impossible for me to get dates. I used to get really depressed but now oddly enough I am getting used to it. I just immerse myself into my own interests and I have two cats to give love to. I go to meet ups, color, bird watch, swim, dance, collect old movies and do whatever I want and I pretty much ignore/don’t care about men until or unless someone special happens to come along and I am not going to hold my breath waiting for him. I’ve been hurt. You definitely can’t rely on romantic relationships.

[@albusdumbledore3782]

Hi, Jessica. I’m 54 and always been single and no children. Develop your interests. There’s so much you can do. I used to feel very lonely when I was younger as everyone was married with children. Now I just accept it and exercise and do things that make me happy. Btw, I love old movies too!

[@lilypotpot4241]

Same here, even though I have a partner I still feel lonely. Well...I feel lonely if I dont see him. What I'll do...I go to McDonalds eat alone...but then when I go back home I feel lonely again

[@jessicaholting2362]

@@lilypotpot4241 I think you should find another distraction. McDonalds is so bad for you. Sometimes I will go there for a hot fudge sundae but I reject all their foods.

[@viktoriapettypiece5953]

Yes, I get very lonely, been divorced for 10 yrs now, live in a small island community, my good friends have all moved away, and my family all live abroad. I do not socialize with my co-workers for a couple of reasons, so yes, I get very lonely....and it gets to be a habit, being alone, which I like and dislike both.

[@goddessrenee]

Viktoria Pettypiece I live in a small island community too! A barrier island off the coast of North Carolina. I’m retired and it’s hard because all my friends are out of state. Living on an island is wonderful but it is very isolating.

[@viktoriapettypiece5953]

@@goddessrenee yes, very isolating...and difficult to meet people, there are no meet ups and such. Alot of the people here have lived here all their lives, their families and schoolhood friends live here, they don't need new friends. It's hard work. I am a foreigner living here, which makes it harder to make friends even though I know the language. I went to the doctor yesterday and he thought I moved away yrs ago lol... Hugs to you !

[@patrickblackdragon4715]

My name is Patrick and I've been lonely my entire life. I'm 51 years old. I'll be 52 in 2 weeks. I got tired of the loneliness years ago. But I'm still alone. All I ever needed was the 2 things that I have never had. 1 good woman and the Happiness that she will be to me.

[@lindawilson8434]

@@viktoriapettypiece5953 yes not only on an island When people have their family close by they tend to just have them they don't need anyone elsr, Even sometimes in the Christian community

[@nisebiggs6572]

I live in a small town, in the mountains in South Africa. I'm faced with the same small town syndrome. It's easier to make friends with people on the other side of the world that you have never met.

[@c.9850]

I am 70 and there are lots of people talk to but no one will go further. It's unreal. I get so lonesome I just shake and cry.

[@judyjones4667]

C. SMITH: Where do you live? We could talk.

[@vickig7261]

I feel the same. I go outside and walk and it helps me not feel so lonely. Even just a short walk helps. Take care.

[@terryolsson4145]

Always try remember at those times of grief, separation and loneliness that there are countless others experiencing the same. It wont fix it but it lightens the heavy load a bit. We are all mothers, sister and friends in need in this great big world of isolation, dont ever forget that. I LOVE YOU ALL.

[@Rett-qv7ti]

That’s difficult. When you can motivate- maybe look up local events - libraries offer events in person and remote. Other ideas , church, senior center, colleges, museum, listen to positive podcasts often, develop friendships by phone or in person … try to smile sometimes and initiated smile turns into an authentic smile.

[@surgicaltoolboxrnhealthbea3292]

Failure to thrive is an actual diagnosis now for the people that are alone.

[@tiggerow]

I just lost my Aunt Joan 2 months ago from failure to thrive. She just stopped eating and went downhill so fast. I'm still am having a hard time understanding why. She had sold her house and moved to a nice apartment, bought all new furniture and was happy in her new environment. She no longer was able to drive but her other niece and I took her where ever she needed to go. This downhill spiral started after she got her covid vaccine and I often wonder if that had anything to do with it.

[@surgicaltoolboxrnhealthbea3292]

@@tiggerow My mom got the vaccine and she is going downhill right now. We will never be able to blame the vaccine. I’ve seen enough to know it’s a bad vaccine. My mom never had dementia now it’s a mess. She has Moderna. 2x

[@surgicaltoolboxrnhealthbea3292]

I will not vet that vaccine. Supergreens scoop a day of the perfect food original by the garden of life. Immunotherapy IV? it’s the super greens. You don’t need an IV.

[@pC-zd4qj]

Wow, what a thought! I know the seriousness of "failure to thrive" in the pediatric population but never thought of this in the area of the effects of loneliness/ isolation. Thank you!

[@clodiamk9873]

I have started to feel loneliness since my last beloved pet dog passed away. When I had my little dog I was feeling wonderful, even when alone. Now I am too old to start with another pet, but I would recommend to women in their fifties or early sixties, get a small pet dog. I say small because its easier to handle . The companionship you will receive is truly wonderful, and when going for walks its so easy to talk to other animal lovers and maybe even make friends with them.

[@JulieAnne17-dn]

Wow! I can’t believe this video. Yes I am exceedingly lonely after working my adult life, was married (no longer) and had a daughter. For some reason, my dearest friend is 6 years younger than me and consequently works full (and over-) time. In fact, my family and friends all work full time. I watch my granddaughter for three hours, 3 days a week, and that is just wonderful. But I do miss having someone to cook for and to eat together. I miss having someone special to go to the movies. And other activities. It is so hard to exist alone especially when you were once an “off the chart extrovert”. I am depressed and find it so hard to find someone to be new friends with. Thank you for this video.

[@lindascott9782]

My husband passed away two months ago. For weeks I was in the bottom of a dark black hole, where I could not talk to people or didn’t feel strong enough to go out and drive and participate in the world. I feel I am on the second step of getting out of grief, and I’m in a gray area, which means I can climb out of that hole and have some days that are white and light and enjoy people and talk to people. but then come home and fall back into the gray area of loneliness and grief. The good news is the more I get out and it’s not easy. I have more light days in the white area,than in the gray area. I no longer fall to the bottom of the black hole. this is how I describe my grief and loneliness, I feel the light that things will get better and put my life in the hands of God each day and know that he has a purpose for my life and a plan for my life for the years I have left. I am 81.

[@sixtyandme]

Sending you my love - stay strong and know you are not alone. 🌺

[@aleynawastaken]

I’m so sorry for your loss. My grandmother describes similar feelings as you, ever since my grandpa passed away. The way you describe the light and the grey, truly touches me. You’re very emotionally intelligent and I am sure that you can get out of the dark black hole.

[@pattiecake11]

I feel very lonely since my husband passed away. i have friends that live far away, but talk to them often. People always want to known what I do for fun. I don't want to have fun. I want to be by myself for now. They don't get it. I need time for grieving.

[@roseyc.5846]

patticake11 I HEAR YOU, GIRL!

[@TheJprose]

I don't want to "have fun" either. It's not that there is guilt attached to that, it just doesn't feel honest. I watched a show about a community surviving a major fire a few years ago that destroyed practically everything. One of the survivors said "it's okay to be happy". That stayed with me and gives me hope.

[@kevinmskelly2359]

@pattiecake 11. Take your time...do it 'your way.' Be blessed.

[@CrazyCatLady196]

I'm in the same boat. My husband died 2 yrs ago. We don't have kids so I live alone. I'm alone about 98% of the time. I really needed the time alone to grieve. No one understands. I'm not lonely in general but I'm for my husband. Everyone tells me not to be alone so much but I don't have the strength.

[@delanelauderdale9099]

Yes, i agree, i was widowed 18 yrs ago. For me, the timing is wrong. At first i wanted to be alone, maybe a yr or two & that' s when friends & family want to be there & console you, help bring you out of it, so to speak, but when your ready to tiptoe back into life the're nowhere to be found. Of course they've moved on & forgotten about your grief. Not downing them, just what i experienced.

[@nancyosgood777]

After viewing this video I read the article and the comments that accompanied it. So many of us seem to feel the same way. Where are we all hiding? I am 62 and in a happy marriage but, since moving to a new area several years ago and now being retired I find it hard to make new friends. I suppose some of it is a sign of our times with so many people isolating themselves at home and being wrapped up in social media. Not sure what the answer is but, I appreciate this community!

[@sixtyandme]

Thank you, Nancy, for your feedback and so happy you feel secure and comfortable here in our Sixty and Me community!

[@helengreen6724]

Technology has taken over having a real conversation with people, letter writing is becoming a lost art, and the list goes on. This is a different world now.

[@altapedroza3604]

@@helengreen6724 : Good thing we have this platform so that we can share some conversation and also be entertained reading the comment section. I take it as group therapy. Take care and looking forward to connect with you again.

[@lindabrown0]

@@helengreen6724 When I was growing up, the different generations socialized together. One of my sons told me that they don't do that anymore. Times have really changed. Now, when a child has a birthday party, there is one party for their friends and parents and another party for family members. So strange to me that you never get to see your grandchildren interacting with their friends..........Oh well, it is what it is.

[@christinefreeman1817]

Give it to God , he has a way of making impossible,possible ,start your day in prayer , God will do the rest..it keeps me from thinking about myself.

[@denisegirmer4550]

Amen!

[@dominiquefelder1809]

Amen!

[@sandrapicciotto2508]

Amen

[@Elizabeth-yg2mg]

please don't preach.

[@LovieNagakannie]

Amen

[@lfkilcran]

This is so interesting! I am 64 and my name is Lisa and I live in CHICAGO! My husband is loving, but has his own interests and a large pool of friends. I lost my closest female friend to ovarian cancer in 2013. I left teaching (Chicago Public Schools) and only keep in contact with one of my former colleagues. She is very busy with her children and grandchildren, but we try and get together a few times a year. It is a sort of loneliness. I miss my female friends. I go to the Art Institute of Chicago (Andy Warhol exhibit is currently attracting a lot of visitors), I attend Dress Rehearsals at Lyric Opera of Chicago, and attend other events...alone. My husband does not gravitate to the arts and cultural scene. I use to go with my female friends....book clubs...teas...all sorts of things. When they died...it is difficult to "break into" established circles of friends. The politics in the United States is also very polarizing and the entire subject is best not even to be mentioned as the most alarming responses can occur. I think this really is a subject that should be highlighted. It does impact ones well being and it is hard to discern if all appears well. I hope you have more discussions on this issue....so relevant

[@leslieclaire]

Anyone can be a busy bee, but I find what is truly missing is not simply activities but having connections to a few people who know you, who have a history with you. I can “connect” to strangers all day but ultimately, they don’t know me and vice versa. I recently moved and hope the new people I’m meeting will in time be closer friends. It does take effort to reach out and then nurture new connections. I do trust that the people I need in my life will come to me as I stay true to my interests, etc. I don’t want to be “busy, for busy’s sake.” In the meantime, I have my solitary interests that are fulfilling. I also have a strong belief in a higher power which is a beacon for me every day, but more so during the tougher days.

[@naturesfriend812]

This resonates for me.

[@roseyc.5846]

Natures Friend It resonates with me, too.

[@natalialopes719]

Absolutely correct. I am 67 and still very busy. Still work still have contacts with people. But I am lonely because my family is not around me. My three children live around the globe. I am not part of my grandchildren's lives. If I don't reach out to them, I never hear from them. That's what they don't understand when they tell me that I need to get busier. We can have plenty of people around but we still feel lonely for our loved ones

[@loriwalter5305]

I feel the same way. I prefer my own company to being "out there" among people who don't know me.

[@madelinevandeven5322]

Natalia Lopes , I feel just like you. I have loved ones very close to me but they don’t have time for me. I have been sick with Fibromyalgia for 35 years and it is worse now that I am older. Recently told them I was very depressed and making an appointment with the doctor. That was more then 3 weeks ago. I get no calls from them? The only one that calls me is my youngest son and I thank God for him. Take care you will be in my prayers. ❤️🙏🏻🎚

[@noragelineau3490]

I’m lonely in the evenings and at night. During the day though, I work 2-3 times a week, I craft homemade things to sell at Christmas and winter fairs.I volunteer. It’s hard at night. Quiet. I use the TV for background noise. I have a dog and she always greets me with a wagging tail. It’s difficult, really difficult. I get jealous of couples sometimes. I was married once and it was traumatizing. Never remarried and raised my children myself.

[@rosalynne8792]

Nora...grab your dog...head to the park...and you will find lots of like minded people to talk to. Some of my oldest friends were people I met in the dog park. Also volunteering...but make sure you pick something that interests you..activities associated with your interests...art galleries, theatre, movies, gardening.

[@fishinginindiana1904]

Hope your doing well. Prayers too you Nora.

[@noragelineau3490]

@@fishinginindiana1904 Thank you, I’m doing well. It’s my craft business that I enjoy the most. It is satisfying & keeps me out of trouble.

[@binkybergsman4699]

Thank you. This is a very important subject. My husband died and even though I have family and friends, I find myself very lonely at home.

[@TheJprose]

My husband died, too, 10 months today. I continue to live on our rural property, so there is always a lot to look after. I miss him desperately but do not know if I am truly lonely. There are family and friends that I see, but I also treasure the alone time with my thoughts and memories. I can cry if I want to. We used to spend almost all our time together without involving others, so we enjoyed our solitude. Am I carrying this forward? I don't know. Depending on where you are in your grief journey, try to figure out what to do for yourself that will help. Since you are lonely at home, try to go out every day. Make up errands. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. As widows, how are we "supposed" to feel? Maybe that's the key...there is no specific way we should be feeling. It's okay to be lonely, just not too much. Just like anything, too much of anything is not good. So, feel the loneliness, live it, grieve well, don't avoid it. Honor him. But also, get out, into the land of living.

[@roseyc.5846]

The Jprose I'm LOST without him...26 years worth of loneliness and the void..never truly got over it.

[@binkybergsman4699]

It’s been 2 years for me. We were married over 48 years so I feel a piece of me is missing. I’m like the woman spoken of here. No one would know how lonely I am. I too look put together. I actually had someone tell me the other day that she enjoys being with me because I am so happy. I sure fooled her. I have absolutely no interest in being with another man.

[@TheJprose]

@@roseyc.5846 I am so very sorry to hear that. We never truly "get over" these things, just seem to move forward carrying that love and sadness in our heart.

[@TheJprose]

@@binkybergsman4699 I could have written those exact words. Someone told me recently that I look great. Sounds like we deserve an Academy Award. At the beginning of our 40-year relationship, my heart ached from love. And now it hurts again. Bookends.

[@mrp8173]

I'm really looking forward to this video exactly where I am in life.

[@loveblue2]

I can so relate to this subject. At 67 and single (I gave up on romantic love many years ago), I definitely feel lonely at times. But, then I remind myself of what some of my female friends, in particular, deal with from their partners and I'm thankful to be alone. I'm a warm and friendly person. Some have even labeled me as vivacious. but I consider myself to be an introvert. I enjoy my own company. I find being around a lot of people I don't know rather draining. It's like I need to be alone again to recharge. I do wish I could have a small circle of true friends, not to mention find someone to grow old with, but that's easier said than done. So often, I've found people to not really care about me like they say they do, leaving me hurt and disillusioned about people in general. It can leave one just feeling like throwing in the towel and getting a cat.

[@suzettecooper382]

A cat is great company and they care

[@sgray4995]

You're not alone.

[@gracebarr7874]

Dear Janice, I hear you completely! I could say exactly the same you're saying. I thought I was the only one who felt that way. Sorry I'm happy I'm not. You are not alone. We, lonely people, are with all the other lonely people in the world!

[@tennesseenana4838]

Yes - definitely get either a cat or a dog from your local animal rescue shelter! I have both and they're the best friends I could ever wish for.

[@dianehereshko2051]

@Janice P Ellis I totally agree with you. I feel the same. It would be nice to have a friend to get together and make dinner together. I had a friend I could do that but she passed 16 months ago.

[@makeuptimewithkelly8385]

I am not 60 yet I’m only 38 but I have been divorced and single since 2011 and I feel the exact same way. I became overly picky and now I’m always home and alone and 😔 lonely. It’s so hard to meet good guys in such a small town!

[@glgardener4972]

Try going to church...you may need to try several churches and also grocery stores-these are great places to meet great men.

[@Elizabeth-yg2mg]

You can meet guys anywhere, and 38 is still real young. I had a friend who went to church and met a nice guy, she thought. After six months she got a call from his wife, who had found a list of ten women and their phone numbers in his pants. He'd somehow been juggling all ten women plus the wife. If you go out and do the things you like without worrying about meeting the perfect man, you'll eventually meet people you like.

[@wendydadswell9732]

You look lovely in this video Margaret. I'm 63 live alone and thank God I never feel lonely. Always something to do or someone to chat with. Thanks for your loving personality that sparkles.

[@dianegrace.]

Loss my college sweetheart 53 years - yes, I look the part - dress up, eat well, travel (recent retired airline flying internationally) but this month will be a year (Nov) - very lonely, but through writing poetry able to navigate through my caves of despair - blessed with family/grand kids - but my heart grieves - arrows cut so deeply for I have lost my love, my protector, my best friend, my life. Connecting key - either with others, but also connect within one's own spirit - I'm a private person so being in a grief group would never work - I actually live in another state from family - so being alone has actually helped me - for now I realize accepting what has happened is key - acceptance then leads to creation of a new life - that I must do - through multiple projects I am working on but I must allow the emptiness to allow new ideas - new connections - new adventures - though always when I turn my head, I will see my soulmate - and pray he will be there when it is my time.

[@kinnish5267]

Diane I can't imagine your pain -- so sorry for you

[@margietucker1719]

Diane...you WILL see your soulmate again ♥

[@melindalemmon2149]

I pray that you 2 will be reconciled soon.

[@debjanibhowmick5870]

I had to stop working and then faced loneliness. I do understand.

[@carolloraine223]

I love being alone..alone doesn't necessarily mean being lonely. I choose a few close friends, including my daughter who is my Bestie! 😉 Im 70 young!! Thank you for sharing!

[@sonyalang3982]

Carol Loraine my daughter told me I am not your form of entertainment.

[@delanelauderdale9099]

Wow! You go girl! Love that.

[@delanelauderdale9099]

@@sonyalang3982 I'm so sorry Sonya, not very kind if your daughter. 😞

[@carolloraine223]

Delane Lauderdale Thank you very much!! 😃!

[@brendandonaldiarmaid3110]

Carol Loraine,Do you know loneliness is a normal reaction to feeling disconnected from others either physically, emotionally, or both. But that doesn’t mean that it is an easy emotion to live with. And loneliness can sometimes be a trigger for other mental health issues like depression, thank you

[@RusstafaB]

It is really tough being lonely and one of the great problems of our time in this social media driven world where no one wants to talk face to face anymore. Great video and thank you

[@terryolsson4145]

Im lonely. Lonely for my adult daughter who says she loves me but lives an hour away, and has a very busy schedule. She left me at 15, shes now 33....and therefore never needed me but left me needing her for years, unfulfilled as a mother. Rarely contacted me. When she did it was strained. She grew up fast. Moved out west and carried on her own life. I moved out west after 5 yrs hoping we could repair the situation. But by that time she'd been so long without me that she still had no time for me. Just the one child. She has 3 sons...14, 11, 9. My grand kids come to stay now and again. Thats very fullfilling, but its her. I need her, my baby. Yes I'm lonely. Im 70rs now....it went by so fast and all i remember is pain and separation. So here i sit, waiting for her to call or text in my small apt and wonder what the hell happened. Why did this happen. All my hopes and dreams of motherhood were obliterated from the start.

[@gypsytreasures3856]

I went through the same thing. I dont even know my daughter

[@maryalexander1019]

My daughter and I are estranged and I miss her and my two grandchildren. I’m bereft and lonely.

[@melinda3196]

I'm blessed to have my husband, my mom, my aunt, cousins, children and grandchildren that I see almost daily.

[@karenpierce6424]

Y'all are all very brave to talk freely about loneliness, but I'm really glad you are!

[@mikeseager3401]

Its NOT Just Women!! Us Guys HURT Also!!!!!😟😞😳☹😢

[@margietucker1719]

That's good to know Mike...because most men don't talk about it. Thanks for your input.

[@loveblue2]

Thank you for the reminder, Mike. I often think of how thankful I am that I was born a female. It has to be difficult to not feel particularly free to express feelings because, so often, men go through silent peer pressure from other men NOT to express their feelings.

[@reflect4627]

Good topic and it touches a large part of the population, maybe even more those who have retired. Work has become more demanding as in needing to update skills/knowledge all the time, for many longer commutes, more demands left and right, etc leaving less and less time and energy to maintain/build relationships. I think we live in an exhausted society, with less work /home balance. I wonder if loneliness among the young expresses itself as being on the cell phone a lot, even though it is a great tool. I am pretty much done by the time my weekend comes around, basically just goes to preparing for the next week, maybe fit in a quick call to a few people to say "Boo". It is too bad so many have the loneliness feeling, but I wonder, is it undiagnosed depression? Chicken or the egg question. I know what lifts the mood is exercise, fresh air, and lots of green vegetables. There is a start. Good sleep is important, get that with exercise, fresh air, no caffeine after 3pm. Many have used TV as company in the past, or listen to radio talk shows, I still think it is perfectly ok to do that. Helping others in some ways, ie volunteering? I know a lot of retirement homes would love to have volunteers, but oddly, it seems hard to recruit them. How about keeping a on call/part time job? Having a purpose/schedule is good for many, especially after been doing that for years. Pets are great, dogs get you out of the house and people talk to you, or at least to your dog. Cats are more for at home company. Also to recognize loneliness is a feeling, and feelings comes and goes. Have a loneliness repair kit: ie. a list of what to do to combat this feeling: go for a walk-get out of the house, feed the birds, call a friend/family, eat greens, look at your "blessings list", be creative, be part of some club/s of interest, go to a hustling/bustling place during rush hour and people watch at all the exhausted working people rushing around: now having a quiet life looks and feels better. Also think about that there are people out there in troubled/dysfunctional/violent/destructive relationships that would switch spots with a lonely person in a second. Can you find anything positive in being lonely or perhaps alone rather, maybe decide that what you are experiencing is being alone rather than lonely by reframing the situation. BEing solo means you have more control over your day/week/month. You can decide what is good for you and how to live and go about your life etc. Feeling alone can make you a compassionate being, since you know others may feel worse and you may decide to reach out in kindness. Or... if computer savy, start a blog, follow a blog. Lots of peeps out there that want to "chat", join a discussion or reflect. There are also something called "meetup" in most towns/cities, they are grouped into various interests, I see many walking groups out there. Can be googled. I think we all have times when we feel lonely, and I also think it is part of life and it is ok, and accepting that will take some of the edge off. When we were kids our moms and dads were around to just go and be with, but life changes and we have to learn and know how to comfort ourselves somehow (in a healthy way). Pain is part of life, physical, mental and emotional. Periods of happiness is part of life too. Pain can make us grow as humans and also spring into action. This is a great topic, and it is great it is being discussed. As we discover so many of us have the loneliness bug, I think this can lead to groups/meetings that are catering to alone people, facilitating finding friends and connections to share joys and sorrows with. Maybe a new movement is about to happen? Obviously there is a need out there.

[@melindalemmon2149]

What a writer you are. Excellent.

[@jango1970]

@ Relect: many thanks for your long and thoughful response. Your second last paragraph hit me in particular. We have to comfort ourselves; pain & loneliness is a part of life and leads to growth. Thanks & best wishes

[@paulastorm2750]

I am a widow of five years. I have children and grandchildren and many friends. I belong to a church am active in volunteer work and am a teacher. I have many hobbies and am productive and have great faith in God. However, I am still lonely for my husband Ken. Nothing and no one fills that void that he fulfilled.

[@melindalemmon2149]

I dream of a boarding house or cooperative house of all mature women. Privacy, assistance when needed, common areas for socializing, meals, cooking, revolving chores. Perhaps in New Orleans.

[@melindalemmon2149]

@@trulaallen5590 YES!!!

[@jelinaross1850]

Thanks for your channel very thoughtful and for reaching out . Realty’s been hitting hard lately. But I have a small support of family. It’s time for me to ask for help. It’s good to know I’m not alone. God bless you for your message take care.

[@sylhomeo6351]

Thank you so much for this, something I’ve been going through for so long! Comforting, to say the least. I can identify with everything you’re saying. Living with an absent husband is difficult, just as bad or worse than living completely alone.

[@annesmith7513]

Thank you for this video. God Bless us all.

[@MM-yi9zn]

So complicated! Having a cat or 2 cats is actually lovely. They are there every day. Grandchildren & adult children are kind but have their busy lives.Cats keep you feeling cosy when they lay next you. And purr. Lovely.

[@ithacacomments4811]

God fills the holes in our lives if we are willing to have them filled in His way and in His timing.

[@tonyaosborne6881]

Ithaca Comments you are so right ♥️

[@nomopms1]

I'm an extrovert. However, too many ppl don't understand that there's a huge difference between being alone and enjoying it, and FEELING alone. There's nothing worse than FEELING like you're out in the middle of the ocean by yourself, a crappy swimmer, and there are sharks circling underneath you. One thing that greatly helps is finding someone else who's feeling the same/near same as you. Be support buddies. Cheer each other on, and help one another get their bearings again. I've always believed that life is easier to handle when ppl walk together. And, hold on to the Lord, totally! Margaret, I always enjoy your videos!!

[@jojorey6886]

I’m an introvert and I have hobbies and dogs. I’ve had hobbies all my adult life, I love learning. I do like being alone but sometimes I find I can get into a funk. I put myself around people because I think it’s a good exercise for getting out of yourself although I can find it draining. Sometimes I feel lonely when I’m around people.

[@bellabong8862]

JoJo Rey: I feel you. I feel the MOST lonely when I'm around people (strangers and people who I don't click with -- which is most people, lol).

[@custommagicable]

Such an important topic. Such a great video! Thank you!!!

[@rockybooze9410]

My daughter recently got married and now in my late 60’s I am now faced with the empty nest syndrome. At first I just felt alone but now it has morphed into loneliness. It got so bad that I had to seek psychiatric help. Now I realize that being alone is my new reality and I am taking steps to correct this by doing things that I want to do. That does not mean getting super busy. As an introvert I have to take small steps in that journey. But hopefully I will enrich my life to the point that the aloneness and loneliness is not as debilitating as

[@chollypaderanga307]

I am now 58 years and happily married with 2 grown up boys both working. I am still working and get out of my way to connect with friends and with my brothers and sister who all live overseas. Perhaps to fight loneliness is to also help oneself to reach out and enjoy the company of family and friends 😇

[@laurajobusch5215]

Once a therapist taught me to be like a butterfly and enjoy lots of flowers, people being the flowers. If I get lonely I go thrift shopping and often have little interactions with the people I meet there, or living in a 55 plus community, I go for a walk and always end up having a conversation with someone. I find going to church and small groups there helps. My mother in law was good at getting her social needs met. I think she had a list of people she called to see how they were doing. She never talked long, just long enough to feel some connection. Hope this is of some use.

[@brendandonaldiarmaid3110]

Laura Jo Busch, Are you still there?

[@kathymyers7279]

I’ve been lonely my whole life. Oh, IM SORRY. Is THAT too much information?

[@starcatcher3691]

No not at all Everytime someone becomes more open you heal.others. : )

[@randilund2558]

Kathy Myers Me too!!! Alone with my children, when I was young. Always alone. Now I am 65, and alone. But I have a wonderful German Shepherd, and he is keeping me very " alive". All the walks we have together in sun and rain. And I am a Christian. 🐾💐🐕🤗❤️

[@sunshinegodschild7076]

Kathy Myers I pray The Holy Spirit will heal u and comfort u

[@patriciaking7892]

Kathy Myer, 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁 me too!

[@juliekay7697]

Me too

[@bumble8588]

This is me, and I believe it will kill me based on how it feels in my body...which is despair...its a vital human need to be valued.

[@mashax7885]

I don’t feel lonely thanks to KZbin. Red is definitely your color 👌🌹

[@pC-zd4qj]

Thank you so much for your quality, purposeful and helpful videos! This is very important what you are doing for us. God bless you!

[@ithacacomments4811]

Project Generations is great way to interact with college students. I don't have grandchildren so I became an "honorary" grandparent through this program and developed wonderful relatonships with students from local universities.

[@naturesfriend812]

Thank goodness for this topic. I feel supported reading comments. I experience loneliness at times. I had the greatest tragedy an adult could suffer 3 years ago. I've thought of trying to start a walking group. Maybe I will. I participate in lists of programs appealing to olders I've made available to self when time, energy allows. Yoga, gym, meet with different groups specific to outdoor activities and or discussion groups. At first the gym I signed on with I wasn't sure, too small. Turns out advantages: small, everyone knows your name, friendly, nearby location, more likely to go. Sometimes during the day napping and or spending time alone is good, occasionally stretching into unhealthy periods of isolation for me. I edited this to include the down times I experience. To keep it real.

[@eddajustice8345]

Thanks for sharing Margaret I so look forward to these conversations and messages

[@ithacacomments4811]

Why don't my adult children ever call or come to see me? I ache for time with them. I don't have grandchildren. I have a church family. I volunteer. I live in senior housing with close neighbors. I joined a Village Movement group that supports seniors so that they can stay in their homes. They have a social calendar, volunteers to transport to anything, handy person help...etc. I have met some nice people. My focus is to be a happy older adult no matter what my circumstances. God help me to be content and look forward to the tasks before me each and every day.

[@janheard3826]

Ithaca Comments I am so sorry your children don’t visit you and shame on them for not even calling you. Have you told them you miss them and a call once a week would be lovely? Maybe they have very busy jobs or personal problems. My old neighbour had a son who never visited her (or about once a year). However he was soon descending on the property after she died. He was just waiting for his inheritance.

[@gailremp3628]

Sometimes the way we treat our children as they are growing up is the reason that they don't call or come visit or have grandchildren. I know that's probably a harsh truth...It's how you treat the kids when they are young is how You will be treated when you are old. It's too bad that people do not realize this. And then someone commented that it was shame on them. Meaning the children tht they didn't come visit. Maybe the children just are trying to live their lives differently. They may feel guilty that they are not coming to visit. But they also may feel relief that they don't have other people saying shame on him for not visiting your mother. It is a two edge sword in this life. And we all have a choice of what end of the sword we want to wield over other people. OK people y'all can start blasting me now. It's no problem. I was the good daughter all my life and took care of mom until she passed five years ago. And I have forgiven her. But now I am alive and not walking on eggshells.

[@ithacacomments4811]

@@gailremp3628 God bless you for honoring, respecting, and caring for your mother. I had a close relationship with my children while they were growing up. I believe that it is society today that pulls children away from honoring their parents ....to more of a focus on material things and not relationships.

[@user-od1fm3hs9c]

@@gailremp3628 - your words are uncomfortable to read yet I think they are the truth. Once our children grow up they reflect on there own childhood. If they choose not to visit us then it would be wise to reflect on how we have nurtured them growing up. The truth hurts sometimes.

[@ceciliadavies2456]

AMEN!

[@MM-yi9zn]

Margaret is such a lovely lady. She says it exactly how it is. Technology has ruined face to face relationships. This new world is not conducive to friendships especially for older women.

[@elizekruger8639]

100% Margaret, I have started to reach out to my friends and we have built a wonderful group of friends and have kept it open for others to join in

[@Chahlie]

It's difficult when joining groups and meetups as there are often people who will leech on to you and it can be hard to make them take no for an answer. Which creates a cycle of having to socialise with people you don't want to, and then you feel like there is something wrong with yourself for being unwilling to accept invitations. I've been stuck in that situation and being lonely is better, sadly. I think many of us need help with the steps to take when you come across someone you would like to be friends with. How many times do we chat with someone and then afterwards wish we knew how to find them again?

[@carolwilkins2265]

This is so true, I chat to many people when I am out and about, maybe sit in the mall for a while, then they are gone. I lost my best friend a few years ago and often feel it would take a long time to cultivate such a friendship again.

[@pawpads9397]

The latching on is awful, and not meeting the type of same 60 year old, it's depressing..they talk in and on about themselves, have so many "nos" and stuck in their have to do it their way and time. I rather just stay to myself bores me to tears

[@gutchiespencer2714]

Heather Smith The problem is some of us don’t reach out to others for friendship because we tend to be way too judgmental, we think too much of ourselves believing folks are just not good enough to be friends with, unless it’s some one with celebrity status and a bad attitude then it’s ok, we settle!😜 Thus, loneliness...No Real Friends🤷‍♀️

[@melindalemmon2149]

@@gutchiespencer2714 Brilliant.

[@JB-ue6pw]

yeah I have a friend how can't take no for answers is so hard because you don't want to be hard on them.

[@brendajohnson6910]

You're such a wonderful facilitator for some of these difficult subjects. Thank you for these opportunities!

[@evelyncraft1361]

Very lonely. Have been all my life, and I’m 71.

[@judydoumont8019]

Thank you very much for bringing up the brokenness of family and being disagreed by your children..to know I'm not alone.. thank you

[@nancyannenesteriak-gentili3540]

I am lonely most of the time. I try to keep focused on the blessings in my life, and I try to be very gentle with myself. It’s not easy though. There are times I am in deep despair. Love your channel.

[@robinfarmer4787]

Yes I was lonely with my husband he didn’t know how to communicate with me but I have a dog and that helps a lot but he is getting old too but I am still working never had any children though

[@patriciaking7892]

Robin, no kids!!!! What a blessing ❣️.

[@ladyshrink22222]

Robin Farmer I totally understand. I wanted 6 kids. God gave me 1. I’m grateful for her. And I wish you had a child like mine. I really do.

[@tupelomiss8315]

There are so many people who can’t have children but wish for them.sadly .

[@rosalynne8792]

Oh sooo true..had 2 husbands...sooo glad they are no longer in my life...worked till 5 yrs ago....now..LOVING the quiet, the peace, the freedom...now walk my dog whenever I like...walked previous 2 at 5.30 am for an hour..5 km.. Go where I want when I want...do whatever I want when I want..have friends/ family...but love love love the peace.

[@lpadilla6188]

I just retired and I feel a little lonely, but I find myself writing on the calendar the things that I'm going to do for that day, or for that week, and it helps out a lot for example: walking, going to the gym or the movies, shopping or just sitting at the beach.

[@matzohgirl]

Lourdes Padilla Great idea. I book dinners to attend in advance. Join a dating site. Make new friends. Join clubs.

[@melindanix7363]

Great idea to keep motivated .thank you

[@laurae8324]

I’m semiretired and working a part time job, I’m a silversmith and volunteer for a dog rescue group. My dog forces me to get out into the neighborhood and talking to people. There are many ways to overcome loneliness.

[@kitbenson8078]

I can relate. I enjoy my own company, but a life of working fulltime, rearing my child single handed, a major geographical move in middle age then illness in my early 60s has left me isolated. It's tough, but I refuse to give in. It's just a case of finding that break and reconnecting with like minded people again.

[@GMCatalina]

It’s pretty sad when you live with someone who makes you feel lonelier than if you lived alone.

[@kathymyers7279]

I’m too old to “get out there” and try to start at the bottom in spheres. and I DONT want to be felt sorry for. Just needed. and appreciated. The only place I can feel that way is probably being around others that are OLDER THAN ME. the truely incapacitated elderly.

[@pawpads9397]

Oi they always seem to find me, I want to just run in opposite direction now, I am tired of hearing the same stories over and over, crazy stuff they're not looking for your input just to sit their and countless afternoons listening I am over it, bought myself a smart TV I am done

[@ceciliadavies2456]

@@pawpads9397 lol...had to chuckle on that one....

[@StephanieJoRountree]

You described me perfectly!

[@traceyyeoman8391]

I am 55 on New Years Day, I have always been alone, but very happy, I was crying inside, when my son left home I became a empty nester very unhappy lonely, stuck on a little farm, now in the city, I like being alone now. Yes but hurting at times.. The internet has been great for that. and I have my pets who make me feel like I do ot want to go anywhere.