Core Fears of 9 Types (Scariest Part of the Enneagram)

[@JemicaM]

Well the fact that my type punched me in the gut and I had to stop myself from crying, that seems like a pretty good sign it is accurate.

[@enfieldjohn101]

This is a really good way of figuring out which personality type you are. The core fear is something that you have your whole life and it never goes away. Maybe you manage to get to the point where it no longer controls your life, but it's always there and pops up whenever something happens that triggers it. How we react to and manage that fear when it happens is up to us and is something we can work on, but the fear will never totally go away. My main core fear is certainly being unprepared and being too incompetent to handle the unexpected. Shocks, surprises, unannounced visitors, changes in schedules or plans, etc. all fill me with anxiety. I'm quite often trying to figure out contingency plans in case something goes wrong. Trying to predict what might happen so that I can prepare for it. Sometimes I'm right about my predictions and I can get prepared, but not always. That's a five for sure. Then, there's the wings and the integrations and disintegrations. They are neat concepts that help deal with the complexity of real human personalities. My main wing is six. I certainly relate to fear of loss or pain. I think most of my phobias can be boiled down to being afraid to feel emotional or physical pain. But six is not my main type because what scares me most about pain is not being able to predict that it will happen and not being able to take care of the situation when it does happen. When I am ready and in control of a painful situation, I feel much better about it and can deal with almost any level of pain. My lesser wing is four and I do sometimes strongly wish that people would recognize my contributions and remember me, but I'm not nearly as concerned about that as I am with being unprepared or incompetent. With fives, we disintegrate towards being more like Sevens when we are stressed out. Seven's core fear of missing out certainly is relatable to me. It seems to be a natural consequence or result of becoming a stressed out five who isolates himself while trying to avoid the unexpected. While we are trying to be little wise hermits, we miss out on so much that is going on in the outside world and with our friends and relatives. In a way, disintegrating to a seven and feeling that fear of missing out is a good thing because it is something that finally motivates us to open our mental doors and windows of our little hermitage and go see what we are missing out on. When it comes to fears, I think my wife might be a nine. She is certainly afraid of being ignored, taken advantage of, etc. She also tends to not speak up and try to get what she needs or to stand up to people who are taking advantage of her out of fearing that she'll damage her personal or working relationship with them. It's one of the great things about the enneagram: it deals with complex psychological things in an understanding, yet complete way. Helpful video!

[@johnpaul6983]

Type 5 (my type) fear is so spot on and how we cope unhealthy with it by absorbing knowledge while avoiding action

[@mollieirvine1026]

A new Abbey video is the greatest thing to see on your KZbin feed. Good luck for the final month Abbey, your son is going to be the happiest and most loved baby alive!!!

[@AbbeyHowe]

😭 thank you Mollie!!! the sweetest comment ever

[@lalonimagnuson9859]

Hi Abbey! I appreciate your work on this video and the depth your provided. The seriousness of our fears needs to be respected with a milder tone, and you did great. No need to apologize. Thank you for all your help!

[@briaweea02]

As a 7 (especially the last two years as I’m just coming out of a bad place) my biggest internal mantra when I’m not experiencing newness or am too still is “is this all there is?” I have always had horrible anxiety since childhood, and it terrifies me! It’s how I got into the enneagram in the first place because I was trying to see where that feeling stemmed from. Thankfully when I’m positive and balanced, I can find beauty in the mundane/every day and try to make each day exciting in small ways, it can just be harder to see sometimes

[@AbbeyHowe]

Thank you for sharing your perspective. This is really authentic and beautiful -- and I really love your solution too -- finding beauty in the mundane and the every day. Even if it's hard, trying to add little ways to add excitement into each day...

[@sabrinaclaus2513]

As a 4, thats so true. Exactly true! Could not be truer! I am shocked by the accuracy of the funeral scene 😮 My grandmother (4 as well) often tells anecdotes about her grandmother and the impact she had on her childhood - and one day I will do the same for her ❤

[@AntoineLavoisier]

Love to learn about Enneagram from a fellow 3. Failure is my core fear but can definitely dip into the 2 and 4 fears too.

[@AbbeyHowe]

♥️

[@Pinkywinkykinky]

9 here but that 4 fear description from my tritype felt VISCERALL definitely drives my artistic pursuits with being memorable, 947 🙏 And gl with your son you'll be a great MOMM

[@13thravenpurple94]

Excellent video 👍 Thank you 💜 and Stay Safe and Healthy Abby and baby

[@juvenallombera4753]

This is so unrelated to the video but I really want to see videos of enneagram types interacting with each other. Like enneagram types interacting at a party or at a wedding. I think that would be a really cool and fun idea!

[@nickpowersmaher9354]

ma'am...you literally took the words out of my mouth. i'm a 4 and one of my mottos is "what would you want people to say about you at your funeral?" if that's not a sign, then idk what is.

[@liug_yiuh]

Hey Abbey, congratiulations on your pregnancy! If you have time, i'd love a video about the blind spot path and/ or the converging path.

[@Bipolar_Diary_]

Lol, I understand every fear. After this video I understood how freaking scary life is😂😂😂

[@coconutcat1280]

As a 6 who doesn’t know how to describe my own core fear, that’s a good way to put it

[@ellensippel8413]

Abbey, I am so happy foryou and wish you all the best on your impending motherhood. You will be a great mama!! I do have a question about the video, how do our wings infuence our core fears? I think I am a 5 wing 4 and from your video, I can see both those fears in my life.

[@AbbeyHowe]

Great question! General rule of thumb is that your core fear is the same as your main type. It does not fluctuate the way that wings can (for example, leaning more heavily on one wing than the other, depending on the situation.) So your wings also do not influence what your core fear is. Of course, they give you a more well-rounded picture of your personality, but so do subtypes and levels of health! So yes - you can use your wings to give you a better understanding of your main type, but I wouldn't put a ton of importance on them. Think of wings like the “salt and pepper” of your personality recipe! Is that helpful?

[@ellensippel8413]

@@AbbeyHowe thank you. That is helpful.

[@Songbirdkelly23]

Can you also experience/share some of the fears of your wings? I am definitely a Type 9, but I also very much resonate with the struggle to avoid making mistakes like you described for the Type 1s

[@GodsChildLtd]

I remember doing some research some time back, and it stated that when Type 9s aren't "healthy or stable," they can lean into their wings.

[@MSFighter07]

As a 6 I didn’t really feel like it explained mine well. I’m not afraid of fear. It’s definitely about security for me and being keenly aware of all that can go wrong. I don’t know. Maybe I need to think about it more. Hmm. Congrats on your pregnancy!

[@nyxcole9879]

As an 8 I reject your accusations of my fear of vulnerability...but you right haha. You should see me when im in my 5 side, im a real peach haha met thst side of me hardcore for the first time 2 years ago after cutting off my toxic family and psychopath father. Neurotic AF.

[@incandescentstarland]

Genuine question, Why do you prioritize RHETI instead of Naranjo and other authors?