CORRECTIONS Episode 103: Week of Monday, May 13

[@kennyn1992]

In Scotland we call a brook a burn. So if a vampire crossed one and burst into flames we could exclaim, Ya burnt!

[@sparkythancztwise]

🤣🤪😂

[@colinbooth531]

But so could any other nation. What makes your delightful neck of the wood unique is that you could shout YA BURNT ON THA BURN! and then you can finish your Bells Whiskey, and return to school. ....

[@kennyn1992]

​​@@colinbooth531 Your racial stereotyping needs called out. It's Buckie our kids drink before going back to school. But only if the want to learn how to spell Bell's Whisky correctly.

[@edmer68]

That's all well and good, but...where do the migrating tree frogs come into play?🐸

[@kennyn1992]

​@@edmer68 Alas, we don't have migrating trees so just the dead vampyre that croaked.

[@andybaldman]

The props dept needs to make a Hannibal Lectern.

[@danderesh4727]

Hannibal Podium

[@melissylum4106]

😯😯😯!

[@DanielAngel]

Please make this a thing.

[@commonsense571]

🤣 YES!

[@katekramer7679]

PLEASE

[@shermanculbertson6244]

I never dreamed such a random segment would become my favorite part of the week.

[@Morna777]

I use it to fall asleep quite often.

[@doyouevenliftbra4773]

Bro you n me both … been here since ep 1 I can’t stop now I’m part of the Crew

[@TheFrenchClipper]

Is the segment that good or did your week get shittier? Sincerely, A fellow Jackal

[@spiceyhotpot]

It's the best part of the week

[@MadAboutBrows]

​@@TheFrenchClipper a real jackal wouldn't ask such a silly question

[@brothajohn]

“Good luck trying that one with HR.” Dead 😂😂😂😂💀

[@sherinameless1618]

I did try it once. They said that calling it a toothbrush moustache still didn't make it okay for casual Friday, especially when paired with the speech about living space.

[@AMBERJEAN83]

The way my facial expression changed from glee to supreme disappointment when you said “two week hiatus”

[@AshleyVN]

'I couldn't care fewer' Absolute Gold!!!

[@SuitedAJ]

I could care fewer

[@MadAboutBrows]

​@@SuitedAJ go ahead then

[@SuitedAJ]

@@MadAboutBrows I would but I couldn't.

[@saar144]

I thought he forgot about that correction! I should never doubt Seth

[@Timlagor]

"less" is never wrong for "fewer" -amount is counted in numbers

[@michaeldeboer]

I love the way Seth opens these Corrections, almost mid-conversation. There's also that hint of derision, that look of your mom casually dropping hints in conversation that you should leave the house at some point.

[@sherinameless1618]

Yes! I interpret his attitude as "So you are going to attempt to correct me? Well, how very presumptuous of you."

[@CharlesWeinroth]

It reminds me of how he has talked about Lorne telling him that he got Late Night (and conversations with Lorne in general) where it would often feel like the middle of or a follow-up to a conversation that never happened out loud. (My headcanon is that a lot of the SNL alums have picked up various Lorne quirks, and will pass them down themselves, such that generations from now there will be distinct groups each with their own Lornisms. Watch out for the Dr. Evil coterie!)

[@burnyizland]

The hint? HINT? Buddy, you are not paying enough attention. The derision is so thick with this one you could ladle it.

[@sherinameless1618]

@@CharlesWeinroth Having just watched the Lonely Island Podcast about "Laser Cats," I was reminded how Lorne plays a version of himself in those shorts with the same kind of vibes as Seth in Corrections sometimes. As you will recall, Laser Cats has Andy and Bill come to Lorne with what they think is a great idea. He listens impatiently while tapping his pencil. When they finish and excitedly ask him what he thought, he looks at them dismissively and tells them "Get out!" So, yeah, Seth is channeling Lorne a lot if the time.

[@ernestnorrman2824]

HE ATE THE NURSE'S FACE!!! Ate her tongue, cheek and she lost an eye. Seth is VINDICATED!!

[@sparkythancztwise]

excellent - on more than one item this episode too!

[@orions221]

Did you just correct his correction? Correctception!

[@dietotaku]

also i definitely remember him grabbing the guard's face and biting into it

[@snicketylemony]

@@orions221correction: a correction inside a correction is recursion Inception was about the planting/beginning of an idea

[@AnonyMouseXIII]

@@orions221jackal on jackal violence!

[@neilk4476]

The funniest part of the Hitler bit is the idea that someone says "We found Hitler!" and the response is "Is he ok?"

[@chuckaudio3191]

"Corrections" is the best part of my week, every week. Seth is one of my all-time fave people. Big love to my fellow Jackals!

[@angielawless2238]

"...the gravel pit behind Kristi Noem's house." I nearly choked. Nicely Done. No notes.

[@edmer68]

Would they be called Noemthals?🤔

[@rubyfoxall1656]

I did manage to stab myself in the thumb with an embroidery needle at that exact moment but I maintain I would've made the same sound regardless

[@user399878993]

But what did they call goats then?

[@sreace723]

​@rubyfoxall1656 I shot Dr Pepper out of my nose. And I stand by the fact that I'd have done it at some point anyways 😂😂😂😂😂

[@patrick-west]

​@@edmer68 Gravelopitecus

[@mrnosuchuser]

the dead air after the mother-in-law joke got the hardest laugh from me. overly-unclever jokes followed by crickets are my kryptonite.

[@cvictoriac1]

I cant find that one??

[@mrnosuchuser]

@@cvictoriac1 kzbin.info/www/bejne/g6Kko4CDZpKep9k ohhhh, you're right, i called it a "mother-in-law" joke, he referenced his "in-laws".

[@sirspate]

@@cvictoriac1 9:08

[@sherinameless1618]

The new Seth jump-scare tag needs the creepy doll head, and then Seth saying "TWO weeks!"

[@melissylum4106]

Ohhhhhh, that would have been excellent!

[@utgfy]

👿👽👹💩☠🤡 TWO WEEKS....

[@joels5150]

I get that jump scare every single day, because I made it the Lock Screen image on my phone 😱

[@reverendgirl40]

Watching this and my 11-year-old sits down by me, watches a minute and says, "Can we watch one of his, like, funny ones?"

[@tonylegg2434]

Someone having an excel spreadsheet of scollins jokes makes me weirdly happy

[@chrisliden716]

I’ve never made a comment like this here but I do really enjoy sassy, petty Seth. So much that it’s what I use to fall asleep now, so thanks Seth and Jackals for a good nights sleep

[@amybrenton8659]

Yes! I was trying to explain to someone why this is so funny. PETTY is exactly the correct word. Thanks for the correction 😃

[@lauraanne5175]

OMG, I just wrote a comment made about his vacation bc I need his voice to fall asleep. So glad to hear it is not just me. Use to be Conan , now it is Seth

[@Kate-ms5js]

All of Seth's little "Doo-dee-doo's" tonight!! How cute.

[@sparkythancztwise]

Right?! I loved it so much.

[@hvarhol]

I noticed that too! Must be psyched for his 2 week hiatus.

[@TheGreatAtario]

Is this a New York thing? I've seen very few people with this habit and they were all New Yorkers

[@JakeothyTheThird]

And I thought a couple of times he hummed, it sounded like the sound the Price Is Right uses when someone loses 🤔🤔 Is that how he prepares for the show?

[@ghilemaer]

I've been listening to his Family Trips podcast and his brother recently called him out there for always humming in the oddest situations (like photo ops WHILE the pic is being taken) and Seth confirmed that he is in fact a hummer and it's very unpopular around his house. So I guess he's submitting us jackals to it now 😂

[@Stofferjib]

TECHNICALLY there is actually trace amounts of Neanderthal DNA in the human genome, depending on the region, suggesting there was not only a common ancestor, but cross breeding, meaning that some of us ARE in fact descended from Neanderthal bloodlines.

[@chagrined4days]

came to the comments to say this as soon as Seth said that, and since you've already made the correction I'll just upvote you! 😁

[@awaredeshmukh3202]

Yep!! We ARE descended from Neanderthals, specifically the ones living by and sleeping with the early modern humans we're also descended from. And those two groups are descended from a common ancestor.

[@calandale]

Although, 'some' is a bit misleading, even if technically true. Outside of Africa, nearly all humans have some small amount of neanderthal DNA, which means MOST of us are descended from some neanderthals.

[@betsiecleworth5853]

Seth’s probably ignoring the fact several Jackals pointed the same out the first time (along with a stimulating discussion on Denisovians) in order to stretch it out for several weeks. Or because he doesn’t give a shoot about the sex lives of early hominids

[@markopecinovic4475]

Most Europeans have neanderthal genes, (especially in eastern Europe) reason why we became so dominant after the ice age.

[@leafyrox]

I refuse to care about the difference between a lectern and a podium, but I really enjoy the "I couldn't care fewer" box.

[@SJWSantaBarbara]

Fewer is more.

[@jablonskichristopher]

Which is shaped like a lectern!

[@sophiebobb4010]

I accidentally saw corrections 99 when it first dropped without having seen any others before. I then went on to watch every single corrections video, starting from episode 1. I just caught up, and im so happy to be joining this community of jackals! See ye in two weeks

[@lb5368]

Welcome to the pack 🐾👋🏻

[@EmpyreanLightASMR]

Corrections 99 sounds like a sci-fi 50s tv show set in the future 90s.

[@sparkythancztwise]

Yay for more jackals!!!! Instead of jones-ing hard (differentiated from good 'ol tall D. Jones, who we also wish to see), instead of pining away while Late Night and corrections are on hiatus, I decided to distract myself by extended binge-watch sessions of Brooklyn Nine-Nine [heretofore unwatched by this jackal, both a big fan of Seth and big fan of Andy Sam-B (lol)]. I'm on season 3 and don't know if I should feel offended or not *because/and* I don't know if I'm more like Holt's or Santiago's character. 😆 P.S. season 3 episode 25, I too would have measured and also *know* "it never should have been in circulation" Holt. 🤣

[@sherinameless1618]

@@sparkythancztwise Watching "Brooklyn 99" is a great way to use your Sethless down time. It is just so funny! I think if you are a cross between Holt and Santiago, you would be a great character for your own sit-com. ☺ Me, I would like to be Jake, but I am more like a Charles/Amy.

[@WhistleblowingGoodWitch]

I'm basically the Mummy's Doink, so yeah... as an ole' jaded jackal, I should really tune in.

[@tonycotto7106]

Much like Kristi Noem's dogs, jokes about Kristi Noem's dogs will never get old.

[@danielgregory3295]

And yet another Noem dog joke..!😊❤

[@sherinameless1618]

Kristi is probably thinking, "I will always be remembered as the governor who united a nation. Hopefully, in time people will think it was for being an Olympic ice skater."

[@rdjones97439]

you are now Head Jackal

[@jessierenm]

Underrated joke! I have LOL'd. (Just like her dog's head must have lolled after being dispatched.)

[@nurysallycat]

Oof

[@alexanderabbott7832]

A 2 week hiatus!!! Nooooooo!

[@Symphing12]

That was my response too!!

[@nikolascagefreeeggs307]

I started having a breakdown like in the original Total Recall.

[@mariascott2663]

😢😢😢if you must. You will be missed.

[@DARWINZOO]

His contract is Gold

[@yesican4458]

I commented this only to scroll and find youd said it just like me already ha ha

[@jamesmyers8971]

So love Thursday night drops of corrections!!!

[@DrummerWithTheKilt]

Thank you very much for saying "I couldn't care fewer" instead of "I could care fewer." That's the attention to detail for which we come here.

[@randyastle3301]

My life has no meaning without a Cicada, Cicada sequel.

[@sherinameless1618]

Maybe that's what Seth needs the hiatus for: to finish the sets and costumes.

[@InformationLiesAtTheEdges]

@@sherinameless1618 🤞

[@sherinameless1618]

@@InformationLiesAtTheEdges Since "Weekend Update" last night seemed to be taunting Seth with their own Cicada/Cicada bit, I think he will respond when he gets back.

[@InformationLiesAtTheEdges]

@@sherinameless1618 You may be right. The 2nd week off makes sense because of Memorial Day, but the first week? Hopefully he's finalizing the production... BTW, the SNL skit was hilarious. Marcello kept puffing his cheeks to try and avoid breaking into laughter! 😂

[@Geomance74]

FINALLY. THIS IS THE ONLY THING TAHT SPARKS A MODERATE LEVEL OF JOY IN MY LIFE.

[@Rubicon-23]

My favourite thing about your comment is "Moderate level of joy"

[@RaistlinMajeren]

But you might be a generally ecstatic person, and may just be happy to get something a little more boring than your usual videos of watching paint dry. 😄

[@adamadamadam321]

I heard the ice cream truck yesterday.

[@silverXnoise]

TRY MASTURBATING

[@doyouevenliftbra4773]

Correction: ALL CAPS

[@ARIXANDRE]

I can't believe I'm loving these more than Closer Look.

[@vanessawhitneypro]

And, they're numbered... So folks can watch them in order... Or COLLECT 'EM ALL! 😊

[@simonadotcom]

@@vanessawhitneypro GOTTA WATCH 'EM ALL!

[@aliceanneacts6164]

Welcome to the dark side…

[@gusstavv]

I like when there are Correction references in Closer Look. It's like Seth's MCU version

[@ItsLalasWorld]

Congrats on being renewed till 2028! Best news of 2024 so far 🎉

[@scarletspidernz]

Wohooo Corrections till 2028!

[@BoatyMsBoatface]

That’s whut I’m talking about!!

[@Swimavidly]

The "I couldn't care fewer," joke really got me.

[@aliceanneacts6164]

I want this audience to build because I love this sooo much. And also because I love the comments of first timers….

[@rockdocandlittlebird]

Naming fossils after location is super common. I'm a geologist (paleo is a sub field), we name pretty much everything either after a type location, or after something obscene that we manage to sneak past. It isn't even subtle. We have features called Molly's Nipple, The Engorged Member (of the Entrada Sandstone), and of course the Grand Tetons.

[@nikolascagefreeeggs307]

Rooster Rock

[@petecoogan]

You know it's really the sub field that's in charge. Geology is your dom field? My dad was a geologist.b

[@katekramer7679]

I couldn't believe this was true so I looked it up. This is real.

[@rockdocandlittlebird]

@petecoogan Mostly I work in igneous petrology, and climate impact of degassing during eruption of flood basalt provinces, i.e. how volcanoes (probably) killed the dinosaurs.

[@rockdocandlittlebird]

@katekramer7679 Hahaha. I've also seen some formations named in another language to things that translate into silly things. One tuff was a real mess so they named it something that translated to "The dog's breakfast." It can be weird to study something, like the Imnaha basalts, and then visiting the town of Imnaha and going 'oh, right, it's named after the place.' We call it a type location.

[@jflowj]

“I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.” -RIP Mitch Props, Seth, for roundabout reminding me of this classic. Tip o’ the cap, Cap’n. ⚓️

[@agorgedslug]

Actually Lecter used a face as an escape mask only once in Silence of the Lambs, and in a shot of CCTV footage of him in the film he took a bite out of a nurse's cheek, so he DOES eat faces. You were right Seth!

[@clarewillison9379]

Did he swallow the cheek morsel though? Otherwise it’s just an over enthusiastic nurse nibble.

[@agorgedslug]

@@clarewillison9379 note @ernestnorrman2824's comment further down - he ate the tongue and cheek and she lost the use of an eye as a result.

[@rdjones97439]

Welllllllll, we don't know if he swallowed, so technically he may not actually eat them, could just be tasting.

[@fionaclaphamhoward5876]

​@clarewillison9379 it didn't take place in the Champagne region so therefore it was just a sparkling nurse nibble 😂

[@michaelkottler]

Always completely dope AF. Please never cease Correction, Late Night.

[@aaronspruance]

"The Devil's Hand..." Simply the best! Will they rise up like the knitting community?

[@devldesign]

😈😈😈

[@sherinameless1618]

Yes. If you have ever seen the movie "Manos: Hands of Left," you know how much trouble they can cause.

[@natalieking2497]

If it saves a life, European vampire lore includes the compulsion to count things scattered on the ground like seeds or grains of sand (arithmomania). So the beach is not a bad place to battle them, but the fight would be on a long delay for the sand counting which has to happen before any biting.

[@stillhere1425]

Wow is that where Sesame Street’s Jim Henson got the idea?

[@snr0n]

@@stillhere1425 Nope, Jim Henson didn't create the Count. All due respect to the guy, but there are lots of other creative people who work with the muppets.

[@scarletspidernz]

Ahhh there was a episode in supernatural they did that!

[@CraigJudd]

Maybe Seth could scatter baby teeth once the onion trick falls through?

[@speculawyer]

I am compelled to count the baby teeth to prove Seth made an error so am I a vampire? 🧛

[@MichaelPluebellify]

Another classic from Mike "Saggy Bits and (sometimes) visible armpits" Scollins

[@katekramer7679]

1:33 He was left-handed, and also he still is left-handed

[@andybaldman]

This needs more upvotes.

[@nth.aurora]

Grammar jackals are the best jackals!

[@alecgknight]

Came here to say this 😂

[@essen961]

That onion bit brought tears to my eyes.

[@jaketheauroran]

TWO WEEK HIATUS?!? I'm even more glad I got tickets for June 3, since that's the first day back! :D

[@nicholasleemarks]

Tim Robinson’s eggman sketch is extremely incredibly outrageously hilarious, love the reference!

[@sherinameless1618]

After the mentions here, I looked it up on KZbin, and found it. And I found it (and the other videos) hilarious, as charged. So, while Seth et. al. may be gone for 2 weeks, at least he (and you) led me to something funny that can be my favorite until he gets back. And maybe after. We fans can be so fickle . . .

[@PopeLando]

This is how I've found out that they brought Matlock back and it's Kathy Bates.

[@fimbulsummer]

Woooooooooooot???????? That wasn’t just an obscure joke I didn’t get?!

[@lb5368]

I will watch Kathy Bates do anything, and I am so glad to be a jackal rn! 🐾 Matlock will be on Paramount+ this fall

[@sherinameless1618]

To quote Grandpa Simpson, "Maaaat Looooock!"

[@Trevin_Taylor]

If we want to get deep into vampire lore, they are also often depicted as having severe OCD and have a compulsion to count everything. If trying to flee a vampire throwing down and handful of rice would buy time as they have to stop and count every grain. On the beach, the vampire would have to count the sand grains and go mad. This is why The Count on Sesame Street counts things.

[@hoozle]

One! Ahaha

[@abbycross90210]

WTF. I had no idea there was a reason the Count counted things other than he was a count. Good lord.

[@hoozle]

@@abbycross90210 I have only seen this vampire-OCD theory in the Terry Pratchett novel, Carpe Jugulum, but maybe OP has another source.

[@VideoNozoki]

I _THOUGHT_ this was a joke because of (Count Dracula). But according to Macedonian Folklore by Abbott, George Frederick, page 219. Published in 1903. this is an ACTUAL characteristic attributed to vampires: Arithmomania

[@hoozle]

@@VideoNozoki ooo I must look that up. Thanks for the tip!

[@BforCali]

4:05 Amazing Noel Fielding’s Richmond impression

[@matto3113]

Bird Bane and Hannibal Skin Mask. Clearly going to be the biggest kids costumes for the next Halloween. It’s fun.

[@EverythingAllOF1t]

Lmao “a money grab” 😂😂😂😂. A beautiful soul

[@commonsense571]

Right?🤣

[@marcopaulo5052]

I was being sarcastic when I left that comment. 😂 I guess it wasn’t obvious. Sorry, Seth!

[@sherinameless1618]

@@marcopaulo5052 Seth knew you were being sarcastic, and he thought it was funny, but he wanted to be supercilious Seth to amuse the pack, and so he pretended to take it seriously. It was also an excuse to mention how little he makes from Corrections . . .like we will feel guilty, or something.

[@marcopaulo5052]

@@sherinameless1618Excellent. I’m going to add “Joke Writer for Corrections with Seth Meyers” to my resume then.

[@sherinameless1618]

@@marcopaulo5052 Feel free. If Scollins can do it, anybody can.

[@Hi-there-fella]

When they showed the Charlie Chaplin photo and it was in fact still Hitler, just dressed as Chaplin I absolutely lost it 😂

[@dancollins6171]

Comfort food for the grumpy soul. 🖤

[@tmoss7122]

“Fifty baby teeth” and there were only about seventeen on the desk.

[@barcelonachair6487]

I love Seth's personality on these Correction segments. If his whole show was him having this dry sarcastic wit, it would be amazing.

[@sherinameless1618]

ANOTHER 2-week hiatus? Seth, don't you remember how the Jackals almost brought down civilization last time?

[@karenlepage-mindfulmaker]

He’s basically BEGGING US to go visit John Oliver’s comment section.

[@sherinameless1618]

@@karenlepage-mindfulmaker I agree. Is this hiatus a ploy to get us to take down a "friendly" rival before Emmy time?

[@Reisavering]

​@@sherinameless1618 go for it!!

[@ShawnHawkins666-33]

When I was stationed in Germany in the Army in the 80s, they changed the mustache regulation from no lower than the bottom lip to no wider than the corners of the mouth. As a protest we all geoomed our mustashes into toothbrush style. First seargent was not pleased.

[@lynnlamusga]

Some early Jackals?!? I see a possible jackal origin story. LOL, I bet most Germans were PO to see that shyte.

[@ShawnHawkins666-33]

@@lynnlamusga theu made us shave right after formation.

[@speculawyer]

In Germany? 😂

[@arianaalioth]

Hahahaha i would have thought that the German Armed forces would have outlawed all mustaches forever. 😂

[@QualityMasters]

Always kills me with the “doot da doo’s”

[@AaronMoseley-Saldivar]

Seth, I’m a full-time law student with a part-time night job, and while I do vigorously read the news, I can maybe only spend about an hour or so a week watching anything online, most of it Closer Look and Corrections vids. I appreciate that your show keeps me up to speed on pop culture; I never would have known that there’s a Matlock reboot starring the great KATHY BATES without this segment. Thank you! Now I have something much better to spend my time watching than Corrections. :P

[@andrewcurtis6606]

Your vampire impression is a spot on Noel Fielding

[@kicsms_science3729]

YES! I thought that too!

[@gabrielaf]

I knew it reminded me of someone!! Thank you!!

[@parkermae]

this show goes on hiatus as often as I get called by a debt collector

[@gusstavv]

And when they come back they don't cover the news in that period in a proper way

[@SquirrelNebula]

In my case they'd have to cancel the show. 😂😳😭

[@Rippertoshreds]

Look forward to this show every week.

[@n3ffo]

Onions and garlic are both alliums, so it'd probably at least mildly annoy the vampire (I don't know how precise the lore is), like what if you stabbed a vampire through the heart with a bamboo stake? They going to argue that it's not wood and not turn to dust? What I'm saying is vampires are not jackals, they have heightened senses, which I presume includes common sense.

[@RLLE-dl3oy]

There once was that vampire movie parody with a Jewish vampire, and some bloke tries to fend him off with a cross. The response had me ugly-laugh tears: "Das werde dich nix helfe!" 😂 EDIT: the movie was The Fearless Vampire Killers

[@stephen3164]

Vampires have enough common sense not to go after a jackal - besides professional courtesy, the vampire would probably end up stabbing himself in the chest with a wooden stake to get out of the conversation. Also the last thing a vampire wants is an eternal jackal!

[@RLLE-dl3oy]

@@stephen3164 Imagine, if you will, that said vampire you describe who wants to get out of the jackal conversation, was a plumber from Brooklyn with roots in Italy? Says the jackal, "keep listening, because, do you know what's at stake?" Plumber: "It'sa me!"

[@squidundertheinfluence]

Originally, the stake didn’t kill the vampire, it just pinned them down so they couldn’t leave their grave. (You would also bury them at a crossroads so they’d be confused on which way to go.) if you wanted to kill them you cut off their head. Much of the vampire lore has evolved. Like transforming into bats was added later when vampire bat became more well known. Before that a vampire was more likely to change into a wolf (or jackal.)

[@rachelw1076]

Just throw a sprinkle of chives.

[@BenApplegate]

I did a Carnac the Magnificent joke at work the other day because you reminded me, and then I had to explain it, and then someone who'd been eavesdropping said, "You mean the Johnny Carson bit from FORTY YEARS AGO?" And everyone shook their heads at me.

[@hawkiowan]

"You should meet my In-laws." *Crickets* ... "Thanks, folks! I'm here through fouteen minutes."

[@akzdnz]

That Kristi Nome joke was a long enough walk that I forgot where we were going

[@karenlepage-mindfulmaker]

I wish a wizard would cast a spell turning her into Kristi Gnome and she had to spend the rest of her life in a gravel pit garden.

[@speculawyer]

....a long walk to the gravel pit.

[@cleverusername9369]

"I believe we're on page 3" flips midway through the book

[@leapintothewild]

He previously explained that the first half is the preface.

[@sherinameless1618]

@@leapintothewild And they use pre-numbers for prefaces.

[@gusstavv]

Some Jackals aren't paying attention on the lore poured on previous installments of the Correction series.

[@marcopaulo5052]

@@leapintothewild Makes sense considering baby teeth are part of your pre face and your adult teeth are from your post face. I’m looking forward to celebrity baby fangs. “Vlad! Seth needs your baby fangs for a bit!”

[@lynnhettrick7588]

1:35 Not only *was* Obama left handed, he still *is* left handed. Unlike Hannibal Lecter, he’s not dead.

[@andybaldman]

Lecter. Hannibal Lector would be his churchgoing alter (altar?) ego.

[@cleverusername9369]

It's not incorrect to say that Obama was left handed because he existed as a left handed person in the past as well as the present.

[@carolz5090]

Obama’s not fictional, unlike Hannibal Lector - unless you’re Trump.

[@dextervonwhiplash1755]

​@@andybaldman if he was going to preach would he be Hannibal Lectern?

[@daveseddon5227]

What makes you think that Hannibal Lecter is dead?

[@maarleyjedermann3174]

I love that you said not to post the new closer on tonight's Closer Look. You love your Jackals and you know it :)

[@connell8]

I fully forgot that they were off this week and came to watch corrections and panicked when it wasn’t a recommended video and thought it was canceled 😢 rollercoaster of emotions over here!! Now I will rewatch this ep

[@tomekholland2581]

"Amount" is fine, everyone knows you measure Jackals by weight. (Which means you're not down on viewership, we're all just dieting)

[@rdjones97439]

There could also be some polite Jackals who refuse to get involved.

[@knives4cash]

TWO WEEKS UNTIL THE NEXT PAGE OF CELEBRITY BABY TEETH?!?!?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[@jodyjm13]

Three.

[@ryanbender4796]

​@@jodyjm13I thought we were only supposed to be correcting Seth here

[@sherinameless1618]

@@ryanbender4796 No, that was never the deal. It's Jackals for Life, jackaling as a way of life. And googs on everything. 👀

[@shivamrajput898]

Man the font size in the book of celebrity baby teeth must be huge😂

[@Cheskaz]

Corrections has the level of aggression that I need in every area of my life.

[@sherinameless1618]

It's like wandering into the Monty Python argument room.

[@ElleryPayne]

Two weeks!? I'm gonna be so excited to watch the next closer look that I will forget to watch for the spooker look in the end.

[@Symphing12]

I am not taking the bait with the “I couldn't care fewer” carton. Thanks for the laugh!

[@WesleyFiles]

It's the "I couldn't care fewer" lectern!

[@greenwitch9836]

Yeah, that was a FLMAO moment!

[@RevCeleste]

​@@WesleyFilesWhat is the difference between a podium and a lectern anyway? It's 2:30 in the morning and I'm too lazy to look it up😅

[@Eidlones]

@@RevCeleste Basically, people stand behind a lectern, but stand on a podium

[@sparkythancztwise]

@@Eidlones *NOPE* not exclusively -- see item #2 podium /pō′dē-əm/ noun 1. An elevated platform, as for an orchestra conductor or public speaker. 2. A stand for holding the notes of a public speaker; *a lectern.* 3. A low wall serving as a foundation. The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition •

[@docjoe86]

9:20 Technically a significant number of people have some Neanderthal DNA, so those people are partially descended from Neanderthals.

[@stephen3164]

If there’s a vampire in my house, I’m definitely running to the sink to turn on the faucet, and then remind the vampire he can’t cross running water. I’m sure at which point we would get in to a heated debate about the technicalities, and ultimately I’d win his respect, and he would go attack my neighbor instead - but first he would cut the water off to his house, just in case.

[@MachiavellisThePrince]

A vampire can't enter your house unless you welcome him in. If you invite him in and then try to argue semantics over running water, he'll have to kill you on principle. That's not how you treat a guest...

[@rdjones97439]

Please do more graphics department voice impressions. It's one of my favorite parts of Corrections. And please never stop doing corrections.

[@MicJaguar]

2:03 in and already loving the snarky wife burn. "Burn like a witch" she burnt! 😂

[@DerHalbe]

We’ve had speedrunning Seth … now it’s the captions that are spoiling it in advance 😂

[@nannywhumpers5702]

I had to turn 'em off. 😂

[@brothajohn]

Never turn on captions on comedy. It always wrecks the timing.

[@Anonymouse428]

@@brothajohn great suggestion. I’ll just tell turn my deaf ear to “hearing” instead, so I’m sure not to miss anything.

[@snicketylemony]

@@brothajohnwhat really ruins the comedy for me is not hearing wtf the comedian is saying

[@mikeharris1987]

It's episode 103 and I STILL can't tell if 100 was the last one

[@thanatosirons]

This comment will probably make the show in two weeks…

[@RiadaMexicana]

😂

[@russellmc03]

But if you held the onion up to your own face, you'd start crying, which would create two streams of water that the vampire cannot then cross. So you should be fine

[@jamesyoungquist6923]

And what form of water matters? Can you throw ice cubes to pause a vampire? Does water vapor in windy air, the humidity level slow time for them?

[@nomadpurple6154]

@@jamesyoungquist6923 But we often see them walking in mist in films so is that wrong?

[@jamesyoungquist6923]

@@nomadpurple6154 exactly!! Where is the line drawn and how? Would a flowing river of mercury, ethanol or lava stop them?

[@sherinameless1618]

If you consider vampirism to be like a bacterial infection, then it makes sense that running water would foil them, because it carries away germs. Silver kills germs too. Crosses would only work if they were Blue Crosses Blue Shields.

[@sparkythancztwise]

@@jamesyoungquist6923 does H2O vs Hg mean *nothing* to you?! Seth was clear my jackal friends, running *water* such as a brook, stream, river, channel (provided there is a reliable current). Not tears, mists and ice cubes. Heaven help you when the vampires sniff your jackal blood out. Onions and all.

[@essbee9352]

This is for whoever the guy in the background laughing at everything you say is. Your laugh is making me laugh even harder! thanks, background laughing man❤

[@sherinameless1618]

That would be Buck. He has an irresistible laugh, and his ability to convince one that all of Seth's jokes are funny is certainly why he is the highest paid Late Night employee.

[@barrylynch5917]

I'm just gona say, Thank you. Corrections is the highlight of my week, I do hate the rest of the week so ta much for making it less worse than living in belfast

[@sepiae]

3 corrections for this episode of Corrections, and may it never end: 1. Obama is alive and well, and presumably *still* left-handed. Technically one may say that, since he's left-handed he therefore also *was* left-handed back then, so, alright. 2. Not really a correction, but you've missed out on a chance: after finding the dog bones the aliens would name the species 'gravelpitbull'. 3. Male ballet dancers are called male ballet dancers, the term ballerina is reserved for female ballet dancers, typically soloists. But I feel that might have been a trap.

[@snicketylemony]

I feel like they should be called “ballerinos”

[@sepiae]

@@snicketylemony I like that.

[@RickTBL]

@@snicketylemony They are.

[@brypres3243]

@7:04 "this is just mustache facts"😅

[@stephen3164]

I was half expecting a theme song to play at that line delivery.

[@sherinameless1618]

@@stephen3164 🎶 Mustache facts, mustache facts. If you don't have a 'stache Your face surely lacks That growth 'neath your nose That makes you a catch. Stay tuned for Mustache Facts.🎶

[@phelan_pt]

​@@stephen3164 same, I waited a beat for the song to start 😅

[@WesleyFiles]

I found it so wholesome for Seth to point out that he got a good laugh because of a Jackal comment 😊 1:07

[@warmbowski]

It's so fun to watch a video with the closed captions running about 30s ahead giving you fore warning. It's not distracting at all. Keep up the good captioning work!

[@KateriFire9]

I didnt want to watch 100 right away to avoid the heart break 💔 came back when it kept going

[@razzledazzyl]

Previously on Celebrity Baby Teeth . . . Page 1 Welcome back to Late Night. You know we like to do a lot of different types of comedy on this show. Often we do segments that we want you to think about. Sometimes we do segments you don’t have to think about. But then, every once in a while, we’ll do a segment that you probably shouldn’t think about. Our next segment is one you should almost certainly not think about too much. Please put your hands together for Celebrity Baby Teeth. Oh. Look who’s still here. Interesting. The fact that you’ve decided to stick around . . . Page 2 . . . for a segment titled ‘Celebrity Baby Teeth,’ might tell you something about yourself. Well, let’s proceed. First up. Let’s take a look at this lovely set of baby teeth that belonged to none other than actor Jude Law. Wow. Just look at these perfect baby teeth. They were once inside Jude Law’s mouth. Now, you’re undoubtedly wondering, ‘Why are we looking at Jude Law’s baby teeth? What reaction am I supposed to be having to seeing celebrity baby teeth?’ How . . .

[@Heterogeneity]

I keep finding tiny polished oblong pebbles of white quartz in my yard that are the size of baby teeth. I laugh when I see them.

[@razzledazzyl]

Page 3 . . . did Seth get Jude Law’s teeth anyway? These are things that, in all honesty, you probably shouldn’t think about. Instead, just look at more celebrity baby teeth. You’ve seen her in ‘Fifty Shades of Grey.’ Now, take a look at Dakota Johnson’s 50 baby teeth. 50 baby teeth, you ask, isn’t that way too many baby teeth? Those are questions you don’t want to ask. You’re likely also wondering if Dakota Johnson knows her baby teeth are currently being . . .

[@Symphing12]

Someone should put this as a Google doc

[@AshleyVN]

I think we should all agree not to tell JINO's [Jackals In Name Only] when they ask why page three is in the middle of the book...

[@Tomas.Malina]

@@razzledazzyl Also, it's only 18 baby teeth that Seth showed. Show us the rest!

[@jeffreylee5770]

It's hilarious when Seth creates errors on purpose to lure in jackals to make more corrections, e.g. the sign that said, "I couldn't care fewer" at 4:39.

[@rubyfoxall1656]

toxic relationship

[@saar144]

It’s called a callback

[@karinmiller1821]

Ooo. I’m early. You know, this is possibly my favorite time of the week. Hi Seth. New shirt?

[@hepcatliz]

Seth's little hums make my week ❤😂

[@Transblucency]

I feel like Seth picks his vacation times very carefully to make sure he's not around for the busiest news weeks. Having said that, he could use all the time he can get extra time at impressions summer camp doing some remedial foreign accent classes.

[@ochocabra1542]

"we found Hitler" -"is he ok?" why is that so god damned funny?

[@RLLE-dl3oy]

"Former ballerina" has the same meter as "funky cold medina". And now it's in your head, too

[@PowerGlove79]

By Swan Loc

[@RLLE-dl3oy]

@@PowerGlove79Pond taken!

[@sherinameless1618]

Actually, the aliens who find the dog bones will call that species "Dakota." And when they find Dakota Fannings' baby teeth, they will call that species "Desk."

[@betsiecleworth5853]

Nice

[@Imeatingchocolate]

Ok, actual lol. Nicely done.

[@rosstapson]

Two week hiatus? Daaaaaamn. Also, celebrity baby teeth is amazing. Love it. A cliffhanger every time. It'd be nail-biting, for someone with teeth.

[@VaterAyotte]

That vampire impression/voice is the best you've ever done!

[@TheUrdul]

-Look at these 50 baby teeth! "Proceeds to spill a bag of 17 teeth"

[@adamadamadam321]

Hannibal Lecter will always eat faces in my heart.

[@razzledazzyl]

If you’ve got faces in your heart, you really need to see a doctor.

[@melissylum4106]

Well, wait. Wouldn't it be more pressing that Hannibal is EATING the faces?

[@razzledazzyl]

@@melissylum4106 Indeed. Also, how big is this heart that both Lecter and multiple faces intended for eating can fit entirely within it?!

[@freebobafett]

And Hannibal Lectern will always eat podiums in mine.

[@razzledazzyl]

@@adamadamadam321 Corey Haim, Corey Feldman, Corey Hart. If you’re experiencing ANY 80s heartthrob symptoms, you should see a cardiologist right away!

[@goblinry]

I really really unironically enjoyed Seth's vampire character.

[@EarleMonroe]

And on the cell phone was great!

[@paulastrawn9460]

Seth...with the great cicada event this summer, wouldn't this be a great time to do at least a teaser piece of your Broadway show "Cicada, Cicada" with Nathan Lane? many of us are waiting with great anticipation. thanks for continuing Corrections which is brilliant. cheers!

[@sherinameless1618]

Seth, SNL just did their Cicada/Cicada bit on Weekend Update. It's like they are trying to show you up. Are you going to let them get away with this, when you pioneered the dual locust genre?

[@PoliticsAndAMovie]

Seth are you humming the ditty by the witch in Wizard of Oz when you move between topics? Sounds like it. "Witch" is nice.