Covert Narcissists' Favorite CATCHPHRASES

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Things Only a Covert Narcissist Would Say #covertnarcissists//If there have been covert narcissists in your life you would agree that it's not easy to define them because they show sneaky signs of narcissism. But there are phrases, lines, and weird things that only they would say which screams your definitely dealing with a covert narcissist. Grab your pen and paper and get ready because Rebecca Zung, narcissist negotiation expert, tells us the phrases narcissists use and what they REALLY mean.
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About Rebecca Zung:
✅Rebecca Zung is one of the Top 1% of attorneys in the nation, having been recognized by U.S. News & World Report as a “Best Lawyer in America”, as “Legal Elite” by Trend Magazine, and recognized by her peers and the judiciary as AV(c), preeminent rated in family law, the highest possible rating for an attorney by Martindale Hubbell.
✅But her journey wasn’t always easy. She got married at 19, had 3 children and divorced at the age of 23. She was a divorced single mom when she decided to go back to law school. She went from being a single mom, college dropout, to becoming one the most powerful lawyers in the country at the helm of a multi-million dollar practice. She is now committed to sharing her secrets and empowering others to live their lives at their optimum level of success, professionally and personally.
✅She is the author of the bestselling books, Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.E.R.: The Sure Fire Method to Step Up and Win and Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide for Achieving Emotional, Physical, and Spiritual Freedom, and is a sought after major media contributor.
✅She has been featured in Extra, Forbes, Huffington Post, Newsweek, Time, Dr. Drew, NPR Talk Radio, Good Day New York and CBS Los Angeles among others. She is the host of the popular show Negotiate Your Best Life™ which is available on KZbin and as a Top Podcast. She is also a frequent keynote speaker.
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Disclaimer: The commentary and opinions are for informational purposes only and not for the purpose of providing legal advice. You should contact an attorney in your state to obtain legal advice with respect to any particular issue or problem.
• Covert Narcissists' Fa...
• Covert Narcissists' Fa...

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Want to learn more about how to win a negotiation with a narcissist? Join me in this FREE webinar and discover the simple, powerful strategies I teach all my clients. Click here to sign up now:👉 www.rebeccazung.com/live

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

I'll see you there!

[@shawnpalmer6715]

Concernrd about you Oh really ! Whete do you find a patking spot ? Anything i said positive Is not ssfe

[@julielea8344]

My Mom (head of her church), my husband when I was young WHILE I was getting a degree in Psychology & THREE with my son...they are the Chris Watts & Brian Landrie (murderer's), the Universe trying to teach me something? With my son, destroyed him & my Gbabies were severely abused. 2 Coverts & a Malignant. Thanks for your work, Much Love

[@sarahdurham7558]

Don’t do it! When I did I was automatically signed up for the US Democratic Party and her files are corrupted and completely unreadable when printed out.

[@nokneedtono8163]

Have anyone noticed someone is commenting on posts to call them on watsapp and have rebecca zung picture as profile? 🤔

[@oonaghmolyneux7760]

The smirk. The sneer. The eye roll. The cold hard stare. The rebuff. The silent treatment. The mock concern. The heavy breathing. The maniacal rage. The blatant insults. The body shaming. The character assassination. Their desperation to be the centre of everything, pulling everyone’s strings, their general creepiness…

[@kevinmarshall6832]

The sociopathic SMIRK! The maniacal rage! The blatant insults! The character assassination! …and last but not least, "Their desperation to be the centre of everything, pulling everyone’s strings, their general creepiness”! Ya, I had a narc older brother like that. The smirk stopped when I would call him out on it in front of people. The rage stop when at about 14 years old I beat the snot out of him. But, he just moved on to something else.

[@antoniojenkins4548]

Omg you are spot on @oonaghmolyneux7760

[@taniamartin6978]

@@oonaghmolyneux7760 oh, you met my MIL then?! And yet here I am the excluded truth teller!

[@marlaharris8450]

I’ve been dealing with narcissistic people my whole life it seems to me the whole world’s gone crazy and there’s more of them now than ever

[@bicho.cosmico]

In fact there are more of them nowadays... Our society is extremely narcissistic, egocentric and selfish. Our culture is the kingdom of the ego.

[@alfauno1255]

Lmao

[@djah200]

@@bicho.cosmico i think you ppl are starting to miscue narcissits for messed up people. Yes they have the hugest ego in the friggin world, but its not an ego that can be seen its completely hidden ego. Otherwise youre just dealing with an egotistical person

[@wendywhite4929]

I agree!

[@Jake-rh7yy]

@@djah200 yep I thought the same thing. Every time someone disagrees they are a narc. Makes narcissism lose its value.

[@shaeholden1743]

Death by a thousand cuts. Yes, that's it exactly, very well said!! My narc ex-husband was very well-liked and respected by those outside my house, who didn't know the silent treatments, verbal abuse and passive-aggressive mind games that I was subjected to. I thank God every day for escaping. EVERY DAY.

[@terrapintravels3829]

Yes, a totally opposite person behind closed doors.

[@kimgordon3695]

Happy for You ❣️

[@danousley11]

I told my ex that our situation was like death by a thousand cuts.

[@kristidyson443]

How long were you married?

[@jesusisgod4992]

I was raised by a covert narcissist. And what I learned, from an early age, is looks are deceiving. I'm not impressed by the "picture perfect" people. I call them "perfectly psycho."

[@janipt]

Its impossible to descripe this to someone who isnt familiar with it. Its all the little things that make you crazy and nobody can understand your problems. You get the feeling something is not right but cant pinpoint it, its insane.

[@KristinAndre1717]

Yessssssss going them right it now.

[@joe7665]

100%

[@jenamirgholi6004]

i was riding my bike and this guy's energy was so toxic that I recommend these types be put down like a dog because their is nothing redeemable about these kinds. I was about to ingest a pill because of it. health hazards. embarrassed that these types are even in the country. What a gyp Janipipt, i know what you are saying.

[@rachelthompson7487]

So true.

[@traciewalker2830]

I had a coworker who would act like this when confronted about her undermining behavior...."Oh, I was just trying to help." was her favorite response.

[@kimgordon3695]

Lol ... Textbook!

[@traciewalker2830]

@@kimgordon3695 Exactly! and with the most innocent facial expression🤦🏽‍♀️

[@gracebe235]

The one I always hear when confronting these buttholes is, “Oh! I was JUST joking! Get over it! Can’t you take a joke?!” Or some variation on that theme. I would be willing to bet that this is the most used phrase by them. I hear it from jackasses all the time. Btw, I have a wonderful sense of humor….I even play harmless pranks….I just don’t disparage, humiliate, and gaslight others in the process.

[@hannahkinnear7701]

Hearing you. Dealt with 2 known bullies at work and suffered at their hands..was ostracised in the workplace, threatened overtly, ignored at meetings and or given derogatory names, approached other staff and put me down to them and the staff would explain that they liked me...and the smear campaign continued into false assertions made in writing..🙄 and I'm still suffering from the ongoing consequences of their lies 😞 Nasty individuals

[@traciewalker2830]

@@hannahkinnear7701 So frustrating, and they will continue to move through the work being fake to others.

[@raquelbarajas9804]

As soon as you said “that’s not what I meant “ I burst out crying . He has always lead me to believe I’m the gaslighter , the abusive one . But he lies a lot and explains it with “that’s not what I meant” . I’m not crazy I’m not a bad person . It’s getting hard to believe with him ….

[@JunkMale]

I know that feeling. Where they put you in a position where every time you try to tell someone what's happening they look at you like you're the crazy one. Ugh. Where they say things like, "If you really think about it you'll know I only want the best for you." And you try to tell someone and they say, "but she wants the best for you." No... no, nobody gets it.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes!>> www.icanslay.com ✨

[@colleenlambrichs4029]

They say they were just joking but they can't take it when it's done to them.

[@switchunboxing]

Ain’t that true bahahaha

[@netflixchill2928]

So true

[@danousley11]

Yup, been there many times.

[@willmack3308]

Oooooh yes

[@fridlinemindor1496]

Yessss whenever he said something and he said there jk

[@alicialynn9250]

"I'm sorry you took it that way" "I remember when you had a sense of humor" death by a thousand cuts is so true. I'm still stuck and desperately want out. Its so hard.

[@StarstruckDahlia]

Same. Sending 💛💛

[@laureenanderson3122]

Believing it is so hard. Because they are soo convincing especially when they are well educated.

[@visionbishop9517]

Your only option is walk out cold turkey.Nothing else works! The glimmers of good times they show you isn't worth it. That good is actually and only for them They will ration you,they will gaslight you,they will mentally and emotionally hurt you. Run,and get therapy,they screw you up.

[@_..-.._..-.._]

“I’m sorry you took offense to that” is the verbal slap I’ve been subjected to for years, I can’t stand that, sometimes I think I’d rather they just be mean and say what they really mean, because then I wouldn’t have to spend mental energy replaying it in my head trying to figure out what the subtext is.

[@unapologeticella4540]

Same I'm too crazy and paranoid to leave also since I have fibromyalgia I can't work and rent is so expensive I get a small help from the government but no family or friends want to help me out

[@psychoshamrock]

Jealousy is a form of hatred. They seethe with rage, and their sh*tty mood comes from YOU and your success. Such childish b.s.

[@jenamirgholi6004]

totally, and watch out for the charming types. That is why so many people live in a reclusive way. I knew someone that silently killed his wife and daughter due this mental cluster.

[@bettydoughtery3920]

True

[@TheKim369]

Or even your lack of success. I had a sister who spent her life competing with me, and sometimes she'd win, and I didn't care, I wasn't in a contest. I was just living my life, comfortable in my own skin and since I wasn't in the contest, sometimes I wasn't even aware if I'd won or lost, until she'd be trying to rub something in my face, and instead of getting angry, I'd just say, "oh, that's nice", and carry on. Seemed like she spent her life consumed by jealousy and her goal was to make me feel the very same way. But, like you said, jealousy is a form of hate, and I just don't have much, can't think of anyone I hate.

[@marcygorski3973]

My sister

[@ravenmeyer3740]

Never thought of it that way. But you are correct. I will always remember that.

[@BlessinNoStressin]

My mother is a covert narcissist and I can only stand a surface level relationship because of my battle with anxiety and depression. She’s depleted my self-esteem over time.

[@elannicole8394]

Same here.

[@RamonaFlowers420]

Same here, I also have no idea how I'm going to crawl out of this hole.

[@dbxniker7484]

completely the same way i had an overt for a father and covert for mother guess they deserved each other

[@JerkWarlord]

Same here.

[@_..-.._..-.._]

Sometimes surface level is too much as well, I cut mine out 100%. I didn’t choose my parents, but I sure as hell can choose who I spend my time with on this earth. Life is too short to put up with bad people/behavior.

[@awkward_is_my_superpower7609]

My mom when I graduated from college. “Wow son, I didn’t expect anything out of you.”

[@Livefreeordie-182]

My mother when the guy said he was gonna marry me: 'glad somebody wants her...'

[@psmith4491]

Yes, a bottomless pit of jealousy. As I learn more, I see how fragile they actually are. How armored and hardened their facade. Please teach us more!!

[@iys6890]

They come across as tough but have such fragile egos!

[@KoolT]

So very Jealous

[@agirl3902]

“Death by a thousand cuts” is perfectly stated. If I tried to explain it I’d be laughed at. It’s such tiny things … like sticking me with his chores (and he doesn’t do many) or moving things that I leave in a specific place in the kitchen. We also have repeat conversations. It’s so invalidating when he says “I don’t remember what you said.”All these little passive-aggressive punishments always come after times I disagreed (nicely) with him or if I spoke up, have my own opinion about something

[@jamespeterson2690]

Question: why are you disagreeing with your husband? Seriously? Have you considered that disagreeing is . . . disagreeable. We have know idea what you speak up or have an opinion about, but most of the time, men don't want to hear it because (believe it or not) everything is fine. You do realize that a narcissist will disagree and have repeat conversations to get attention from someone who is mellow and just fine? Why are there chores? Why do you have a list of them for him? Why is that a lot like a mom? And doesn't that sound a little bit like toxic femininity. Sorry, but a narcissist is more likely to demand obedience and attention: "he doesn't remember the nonsense I tell him" and " he doesn't do the chores I have for him," for example

[@bicho.cosmico]

@A Girl, I know exactly what it's like to hear "I don't remember", "I cant understand what you say", "you are too sensitive" and the list goes on. Invalidating hurts so much. But even with a thousand scars, I am here pretty alive and stronger than ever, because now I am able to recongnize their strategy and I am prepared tô fight back. stay strong!.

[@asiajackson1550]

Wow my narc says the same things, or if I bring up an event it’s always “oh yea I think I remember that” or “I forgot”

[@RebelKat321]

Took me forever to discover there was a covert narc. When I did, I discovered why I was so confused. He was passive aggressive and if I pointed out things...he'd say "I don't know what you are talking about.""that's not what I meant". Coverts use the "lost puppy" victim thing too. You always feel bad for them!!

[@bicho.cosmico]

O know exactly How It feels... I almost gone Crazy. Happily I was gone away instead!

[@sgtmuffinbadger6147]

I know this feeling

[@chunhualam]

U sound like one aren't u sure that you're not the one talking about ? It's not that hard to tell when someone acts weird like.

[@reneegardner2286]

"I don't even know WHAT you're talking about?!" is my covert narcissists FAVORITE line. I told him I need a t-shirt that says it because he says that to me so much! 😅

[@GSDXephyr]

Same. I just discovered this today and I feel like I've been let out of jail! I was calling it so many things and justifying and feeling bad for him. Over and over. Depressed. Anxious. Insecure. Fragile. Easily influenced. Approval seeking.

[@outlaws4justice417]

I agree 100 % and it took a overt and a covert teaming up to crush me for awhile. Without the covert the overt couldn't touch me. Covert in my opinion is the scariest because you never see them coming.

[@visionbishop9517]

Oh wow you had 2!I'm praying for your well being and recovery.

[@outlaws4justice417]

@@visionbishop9517 Thank you ! It helps to hear encouraging words.

[@visionbishop9517]

@@outlaws4justice417 You're very much welcome. Namaste! Good ppl abound,surround yourself with them. They'll help keep the narcs away

[@unapologeticella4540]

True they seem like the nicest ppl soo scary I'm experiencing this with a friend.

[@daughterofzion2146]

Let me tell you. They have the ability to f#&@ u all the way up. I had not the slightest idea or clue! I was blind sided until YTs algorithm helped me out 🙏🏽

[@djmandyland]

Omg ALL of this! All my friends saw me literally losing my mind and thinking that I was just mentally ill but I was being psychologically run down by a covert/vulnerable narcissist. He was the king of stonwalling, witholding, passive comments, saying things then denying he ever said them and telling me I have memory problems and should get help. I seriously started feeling so lost and suicidal and he tried to say "dont worry I'm going to be here for you, were gonna help you ok" I felt so disturbed when he would hold me and talk to me like that because he was literally the reason I was feeling that way. Some complement put downs I'd get were "that's a pretty dress.... you do know your nipple is almost out though... just saying cause i'm trying to help you" "your so creative and talented babe!" then flipping around and calling me a know it all or constantly accusing me of thinking i'm perfect or better than everyone and I'd just be like what? His other favorite thing to do would say "you live a life of double standards!" all because he couldn't understand the difference between me genuinely worrying about him and his well being and criticizing. Me caring for his mental health was always me attacking him and "thinking I was better than him" I was like think of it this way, there is a difference between accidental manslaughter and pre meditated murder. Human beings will always fuck up and make mistakes but I am never intentionally trying to hurt you and I always own my mistakes and apologies but it will always be seen as an attack no matter what to them so they respond with actually having the intention of WANTING to hurt you. It's a serious mind fuck. I agree I honestly wish I would have met a grandiose narcissist because I would have kicked them to the curb so fast but coverts know exactly how to draw you in with their sadness and you feel like they are a child in need of help because essentially they are but it is impossible to help someone who wont help themselves. Oh and he loved telling our mutual friends that he was taking care of me and how much he loved and adored me and they would all be like AWWW you're such a sweet guy. Ugggg

[@Samanthaleigh94]

Omg this is almost the same thing 😳😔

[@djmandyland]

@@Samanthaleigh94 I hope you get out of it. I swear I tried to justify it for so long thinking I was responsible for helping him or looking after his mental health but that is bs when you are being abused it's the end all be all. I finally let go with the last thing I said being an email I sent him of 6 psychologists I found that could really help him and I said "I have faith in you, good luck" and blocked him. Hardest thing ever but I knew my life would continue to go downhill with him attached to it.

[@Kris-kq5yi]

I’m divorcing someone who is exactly like this. Four months of No Contact and I’m still working through what was real & what was BS. It’s such a mind f*ck.

[@djmandyland]

@@Kris-kq5yi I'm glad you got out!

[@edwinvasquezz3228]

I think the craziest part is how you can be around this type of person for SOOOO long but never even realize with the type of person you’re dealing with , they are so good at convincing everyone around them that they are an amazing person so when you sit back and analyze there behavior , it’s a mindfuck because you tell yourself “am I the one with the issues here? Because everyone seems to love and adore them so why do they act this way towards me” And you described everything word by word , they act like the victim and pull on the strings of your emotions to try and reel you in again

[@shaylinhill]

Death by 1000 cuts is definitely accurate. They do this on purpose because they care about how they are perceived by others. So when the victim goes to someone else for comfort and starts explaining the few "little" things that they're going through currently, then they're perceived as dramatic. It also helps further isolate their victims and maintain control. If others don't understand what you're going through and telling you it's not a big deal you'll start to believe them. You'll start to doubt yourself and blindly follow the narcissist. It's all a part of their game.

[@miramarigold5925]

Exactly! This is what I'm going through!

[@BLACKNIGHTKNIGHT]

Rebecca, you would be proud of me saying that I finally filed for divorce a few weeks ago to get away from the narc that tired to control my life.👍

[@Jackgritty28]

This lady wouldn't have a job without hatred of narcissists, she describes the differences between the types of narcissism, how to cope with it, or deal with it, abusive psychological warfare shouldn't be accepted if you're a victim of it, manipulated by words and actions, the element of doubt, are they right, you start to doubt yourself and potential, sabotaging your effort in life, is it intentional or they mean it, if it comes across as being rude, don't accept it, walk away and live to fight another day, gaslighting will make you crazy, the passive-aggressive could have you fooled, are they serious or are they joking, are they jealous of you, do they truly mean it, uses a guilt complex to get a reaction from you, disguises compliments with an ulterior motive, usually has a hidden agenda to get what they need🆘🚩✅

[@kelligray1848]

Good job!

[@ninjarg930]

I'm on that way soon, hopefully by the end of this year I'll be able to say the same ❤️🙏! Congratulations for the force you have in you! God bless you, hun 💐🎉💟🥂!!!

[@kennedymeow]

Good for you!

[@carolnahigian9518]

good

[@soumyajoseph7429]

"Just a friendly reminder that", nope - friendly should be self-evident. They'll rain on your parade.

[@marykelsey3857]

My MIL is a covert narcissist and one thing she would do is get up and walk away while I was in the middle of telling a story. This tactic was nonverbal, but also sneaky and disrespectful at the same time.

[@myyoutubechannel2503]

Wow that’s crazy , very rude of her. I would’ve told her off lol

[@infjfemale200]

Plain old Nasty behavior! Sorry you are dealing with this. Hopefully you can find a way to deal with this. Sometimes giving people a taste of their own medicine might work. Example: if she start saying something, you pull out your phone and start strolling, or you could get up and leave as soon as she starts talking.

[@shanntastical4968]

Ugh, I would get “Is this story over yet?” EVERY TIME when I barely ever got to say much and he got to talk about his interests 95 percent of the time 😑

[@keithrichard5054]

Yep! My ex MIL would ask about my job, and as I was talking about it, she would start talking to someone else in the room. She treats everyone the same. All about her.

[@paulamathis523]

My husband said something mean to me and then walked into the kitchen. I followed him in there and and put my hands on my hips and demanded to know why he said that. He replied, "I was just joking". I replied back, "no you weren't". He was speechless because he realized that I had "seen him"....the guy behind the mask, for quite some time. He actually discarded me very shortly after that. Hallelujah!!

[@jackpetersen7545]

Paula Mathis,You look cute 🌹🌷,You don’t need a narcissist in your life!

[@DeniseLaFranceCDNpainter]

Blessing in disguise

[@smushface3999]

“Death by a thousand cuts” is definitely something I regularly use to describe the constant stream of tiny insults

[@msevolution2317]

I wrote a song about it and only just realised I’ve spent nearly 2 decades with a narc. 🤦🏾‍♀️

[@ronalnunezaguila375]

Every single thing that has been said -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- here about Brandon on [e-mail] the realest thing I have seen all week It sounded impossible and too good to be true at first but I decided to face my fears and give it a try Brandon was able to get back a very very old fb businss page that was deletd about seven years ago, this used to be my official acc and I am just so relieved he was able to keep to his words That’s a real man right there, anyone in need of something like this reach out to him immediately and he wouldn’t fail you He is also extremely useful for when it comes to getting back a snap accnt that’s been lost , he got one for my nephew too

[@personincognito3989]

I just got rid of a 15 year friendship with a covert narrccisist. I feel a tiny bit sad that the relationship wasn't what I thought it was but mostly feel good.

[@rosiep7337]

Amen! I have two covert narcissist parents. Also worked with this type of person. I seem to be a magnet for narcissistic people.

[@savkatonashka6795]

It’s so true that once a person has been under a narcissistic spell, they would have hard time breaking free from this kind of destructive influence. May even look like the narcs are ever present, but this is what they would want you to think. I’d like to say this: There’s hope in this world if a child should grow out of such an environment and recognize it for what it is and become a loving, caring person instead. Amen!

[@kimberlyclytle99]

@Paula Rose I had a mentally ill covert narcissist mother & (same mental illness) overt narcissist younger sister. I walked away at the age of 49 in July 2015 after requiring my mother to face reality. My father was literally dying & we were at a pallative care stage. It took 8 days for me to get my mother to leave her alternate reality and face reality in the real world. All H*** broke loose & she almost jumped out of the front passenger door at 62 MPH going over an overpass in DFW metroplex. My role in my family of origin was scapegost/hero. I was the oldest offspring, 1 sister (3 yrs 4 mo younger) 1 brother (5 yrs 11.5 mo younger). I had NO IDEA how psychologically unbalanced my family dynamic actually was until I reached adulthood (18 y/o), moved out & paid my own way in life. A Psychology 101 Course (General Psychology) at 20.5 years old began my journey out of the toxic "cesspool" into the safe, clear waters of an intentionally different neuclear family dynamic with my own 4 offspring. Best to you as you move forward in light & love towards your true self!

[@terrilhill1024]

Me too. Seems I can't break free of these people and I have been married 3 times. Disgusting!!..

[@gordon12121212]

Narcissists are most attracted to higher value people. The more the person has, the more the Narcissist can take from them and bring them down. It's like a sport for them

[@grantking6393]

"You are so insecure"...as they are cheating and you have a strong feeling it's happening.

[@PrettyToez07]

Omg Becky--your makeup looks stunning in this video sis!! 🙌🏾 Absolutely gorgeous!! 😍😍

[@LiaSol737]

"you are too sensitive"😢 Classic one

[@iys6890]

Exactly! They throw it back on you!

[@rachaelbrugmans4309]

First of all, AMEN. Secondly, I find they are BOTH envious (coveting the happiness of others) AND jealous (hyper passive-agressively defend what they percieve as "theirs")

[@surv2239]

Amen, we Empaths turn it back on them when we're thru being their punching bag, supply or their target. I stood up to my abuser, told him I was no longer afraid of him, and wondered what he was going to do when he and his backups get exposed for what they are and all that they have done, he lied to the employer who fired him so he wouldn't have to come back and deal with the mess he created so he could get his supporters to BE ON HIS SIDE. His family would always back him up using ALL those same statements and behavioral patterns. I already left most of my siblings, classmates, and even congrational acquaintances for things such as those. I've learned not to trust anyone and not become them, it's hard. I feel many people's pain and relate with compassion only to be constantly hurt for being kind.

[@marymotherofgod4861]

They r wolves in Sheep’s clothing!!!

[@sody2000]

100%. They will act innocent and sensitive. They they will do secret things behind your back to destroy you.

[@delorestaylor8114]

I have a very close family member with these behaviors. When you call them out you have messed with the devil 💀👺

[@iys6890]

Exactly! They freak out and try to make you feel crazy!

[@sandraduffy8053]

My husband of 39 years says “ but we had a nice day yesterday “ so why are you mad at me now? I

[@eye4aneye39]

Lol... Same here...

[@mcawesomest1]

OMG yes! Nailed it!!!!

[@jerichosharman470]

Ummmmm ok. Isn’t that a good thing ? Perhaps you didn’t explain why you’re mad

[@mcawesomest1]

It’s black and white thinking... you can’t be frustrated, annoyed or hurt by something they said because having one of those feelings or emotions to them means you hate their guts and can’t love them. I can love you and cherish you but I can also be frustrated with you at the same time.... in Narcs it doesn’t work that way. You either love them and are their biggest fan or you hate their guts. It’s a One or a Ten with nothing in between.... it’s a very hard place to live... I can’t be frustrated or hurt because he forgot my birthday or Mother’s Day... that he said something that was hurtful or mean, that he forgot I needed him to be home by 6pm ( over and over again no matter how much I reminded him) or that I just had a bad day and I’m in a grouchy mood that has nothing to do with him.... he will also turn it around to be a long drawn on multi-day unload all over me over and over again... because I have to “pay” for my transgression which may have been that I was hurt he bought me an “old age birthday card that says I still love you even though you’re getting old. I’m in my early 40s- and that was all he got me... no card from our 3 kids... even a hand made card... then 2 months later - nothing for Mother’s Day. This is not unusual at all... usually I get a gift that’s really for him 🤦🏼‍♀️

[@djah200]

@@mcawesomest1 kinda sounds to me like you may be the actual Narcissist

[@barbcalhoun9861]

Omg! I wish I had a dollar for every time my Ex husband said, “I didn’t intend to….”!!!! Soooo true!

[@jackpetersen7545]

Barb Calhoun,You are beautiful 🌷,you don’t need a narcissist in your life!

[@jackpetersen7545]

Barb Calhoun,You are beautiful 🌷,you don’t need a narcissist in your life!

[@generationfunk]

My ex would never lower herself to accept any responsibility. She would just say "I never did that you liar" then start distorting the topic at hand and start blame shifting

[@DaBeezKneez]

Maybe he didn't intended to.. my exwife always mischaracterized my intentions.

[@jamespeterson2690]

@@DaBeezKneez Right. The problem with this whole board is that narcissists mischaracterize intentions and exaggerate. They also attract each other, and addicts. So . . . one way to practice dealing with narcissists in court could very well be to read these comments to prepare for how they'll lie on you.

[@MelissaTress]

S.O.s (Sexual Offenders, Are, often times, Covert Narcissists!) Thank YOU, Rebecca Zung! ❤️❤️❤️

[@puppy-love705]

I went through a lot of gaslighting, lies, cheating. Said he'd make me think I was going crazy. He's a mental health worker! Very scary that he sees clients, but of course they never see that side of him. He's been out of my life for over a year at some point I would like to date again. But I'm afraid of getting someone like him again. It took me many years to actually see what I was dealing with. Yes hopefully I know the signs now but I also feel I'm much stronger and smarter. I guess I can thank him for that.

[@acquaify]

Normal people see their bs as an “accidental mistake”. Covert narcissists make i n t e n t i o n a l “mistakes”. It’s hard to describe what t h a t specific intention is, to someone who’s never witnessed it…..I think people can understand easily enough, the types of examples you gave ….I think the real difficulty they have is, accepting that there ARE people out there in their day to days lives, that actually exist like that. The penny doesn’t drop for most people until they witness it themselves in some fashion. I strongly believe you either have to have experienced the nature of the beast directly or indirectly, to understand what it looks like…. Otherwise is feels like trying to describe a colour to someone whos never seen it 😣

[@leolamccallister6147]

That was to me was a very good statement the life with a narcissist is hard to explain why we stay even harder to explain

[@terrapintravels3829]

Yes, true!

[@kimgordon3695]

Ooops... (They did it AGAIN)

[@crystalbarker7803]

A true, Narc, CLASS ACT!

[@reignydaez1052]

‼️

[@ela6230]

My ex actually tried to tell me she was the best thing that ever happened to me. 🤣🤣🤣

[@HelpfulHerbs]

Ok heres one....i told this 'friend' how much i liked her hair and went on and on about the cut and color, etc. Then asked for her hairdressers name. Made the appointment and during the appointment the hairdresser asked me how i had heard of her. I told her so and so sent me and she gave me a strange look like 'who's that' and I realized this wasnt my friends hairdresser. I asked her about it later and she said 'oh well I heard that she was really good'. Put it all together as part of a pattern of multiple slights towards me. Mostly triangulation with another really good friend. Had to walk away after thinking she was a friend for 4yrs. Took that long to figure it all out. Makes sense now.

[@gerafinali4384]

When I was staying home after the birth of my children, everyday he would come home and asked me what I had done during the day, which wasn't much as I was breastfeeding, looking after the baby and house and was totally exhausted, and whatever I answered, with a sarcastic smile, he would say " It must be so nice to stay at home and not do much", and if I tried to explain it was actually quite hard, not like a holiday, he would make me feel guilty about not appreciating what I had.

[@deeoneal1267]

did you stay ? if not how are u dealing with break up and child custody?

[@elennyfication]

Yes, making you feeling guilty is what they strive on. The best thing is to block their venenous tongue and to stay away from them. They are toxic

[@NeborfewoV2]

So so so happy 😉😊 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------My ex had the mentality - if I don't admit it - it didn't happen .She admitted to 2 affairs . Though i can't "prove" it as she liked to throw at me..I am not a person who goes through your phone , or your purse but i got refer to * [e-mail] I don't follow you or your friends . There where signs but denial and wilfully ignorance was something I was good at . For those 3 years the # of people she slept with only slowed down . It didn't stop . I was no saint. Truth be known I should never have asked her to marry me . I was immature , stupid., had no idea what a "good " , healthy relationship was . I had 3 affairs . One before we got married , 2 more about 2 years after we were married . We were together 14 years . Married 12 of them . Divorced in 2018 and to this day I do not trust anyone.

[@tammysims8716]

I literally can not beleve I found you. Thank you God for letting me find you. I have been questioning my sanity but the subtleness the covert narcissist uses is confusing and you are exposing them for that. Thank you.

[@le_th_]

Best thing to do with a covert narcissist is to have them on video recording. They love to "fuck with people" and every once in a while, you'll come across one who will randomly comment about how much they love to "fuck with people" and in those cases, yes, they DO know what they're doing and it's intentional. ....and, in all honestly, when you genuinely love someone, you ARE concerned about them drinking too much (and too often and they've had car accidents with only their vehicle). That's not necessarily an example of someone being a covert narcissist, especially when the person they're talking about NEEDS to stop drinking because their drinking way too much, way too often. It is true that clergy, physicians, pillars of the community, social justice warriors, and others like this who are covert narcissists. That said, it is not "only" covert narcissists who say this stuff, and THAT part of your title for this video is misleading. The truth is that depending on how YOU interact with any narcissist, they may behave more overtly...or covertly...or malignantly...with you, especially if you happen to be someone who can hold them accountable for their behavior. They will do what you ALLOW them to do, most often than anything else. There is a lot about covert narcissists that you aren't saying here, but yes, they are envious (and jealous, which is different than envy). Yes, they do give back-handed "compliments".

[@kimgordon3695]

"They will Do what You allow them to"

[@le_th_]

@@kimgordon3695 Yes, just like all the Cluster B disorders. If you don't have super strong boundaries AND enforce them rigorously, they will wipe their feet on you like a doormat.

[@tutt55]

I never even heard the term "Covert Narcissist" until I filed for divorce and was wondering why my wife and I never could have sustained periods of peaceful co-habitation. What an eye-opener it was to discover. After 5 years of being told I wasn't doing this to "help" her triggers, or I was doing that to trigger her, and trying to make things better, I finally just gave up. Now I realize that the once confident, strong man I was slowly disappeared and the only thing left was a broken, weak insecure person I didn't recognize any longer. This behavior problem needs to get out there so more people may come to recognize it.

[@astralasia5732]

What about the ol’ “You hurt the ones you love the most” GAH 🙄🤦‍♀️ gross.

[@lisamariepagliei3945]

Yet, anytime they choose to they attack me about my tone. I can't count how many times things I've authenticity said, I'm attacked for a perceived tone in my voice that I know isn't there!!

[@djah200]

Now that is one mine got me with thoudands of times!

[@926paaja]

YESSSSSSS... WOWOWOWOWI... YESSSSSS.

[@Datb2]

Whew yes. They claim u have a passive aggressive tone when you absolutely don’t 😂

[@rhondadavis4285]

One thing I’ve noticed that they do is if they see someone doing a task or project and they know something that would help or fix it or make it successful they do not offer the information if they see someone is about to fail, they just watch it ….. then afterwards they say “ you could’ve did this or that and it would’ve helped or worked” they always offer information in a gloating way when the thing is over so they can feel superior like they would’ve done it better.

[@Chaos-2-CALM]

Totally experienced something along these lines the other day over something so simple that it’s ridiculous…we ordered similar chicken sandwiches at the drive thru..and he commented after I ordered mine like he was upset that I had ordered something close to his…ANYWAYYY…when we got our food he handed me both of the chicken sandwiches to figure out which was which and refused to even look at either of them and help…so, I looked and said I believe this one is yours and this one is mine…the awkwardness and tension were already noticeable and uncomfortable…I was eating my fries and he had just finished his sandwich…right as I was literally putting the sandwich into my mouth to take the first bite, he said I’m pretty sure you got my sandwich…and I said oh, and you just now decide to say something after you completely ate the sandwich you had…seems so unnecessarily petty, avoidable, and ridiculous…that set the tone for the whole evening …and this is only one little example of a multitude….

[@themapsarewrongandthetimel8722]

Amen! Been with my narc for 19 years, and, according to him, I have been 100% wrong in 100% of the disagreements we have had. Seriously, 100%. Here's the thing, he says EXACTLY the same degrading crap each and every time. I used to right myself notes before the argument noting what he was going say, to help keep myself from being gaslighted. I would refer to my notes after the chaos settled down, and found it restored my sense of peace. I am dealing with a very hurt 63 year old child who was horribly abused by a narcissistic mother, and i can't fill the hole she left in him.

[@ponytail911]

" They want to protect you" (my mom to me, after a narcissist family mobbing episode). Uh, no mom, ya'll want to abuse me. Amen

[@shanntastical4968]

Amen. I’m a narcissist magnet. I care so much about people that I want to give everyone a chance and I often get taken for granted and stalked out by these people. I often got the “I don’t remember any of that or saying that”. I got “You look malnourished, I’m just concerned for you is all”. Then when I gained a few pounds “Oh wow you are getting fat, I’m kidding! I mean you look healthy, you look good! Dismissiveness and outright ignoring me when I spoke. So much more but I know what you mean when its hard to describe everything. The first two were so hard to describe, it was so frustrating when people would ask why we weren’t close anymore.

[@jocelyne.5960]

It is a million little things!!!!

[@art.65367]

I’m so thankful to have found this video. I’m only 17, but I recently moved out because my narcissistic mother almost made me commit suicide. My father left long before me, but wasn’t able to take me with him sadly. Anyways my mom does a lot of the things you mentioned. She loves to purposely misinterpret things I’m saying completely out of context. Then suddenly she’s like: „Oh, so it’s all my fault?“ while crying to get me to feel guilty and say something like „no, you’re not doing anything wrong“. It’s driving me nuts, but it doesn’t sound that bad. I have the exact explanation issue you’re mentioning.

[@laurieclark2456]

Don’t kill your self. Nobody is worth that. My son did this and we are all in pain. He had a rotten father and girl friend. There’s no coming back. To permanent.

[@theemperor772]

I am currently dealing with one and I’m taking all precautions before filing as she is making all types of threats.Thank you for this content I can’t wait for the day to be finally free!

[@HS-uw3wg]

They’re good at downplaying your successes while bringing positive back to them and attention back to them..

[@HS-uw3wg]

They are downright hypocritical liars and manipulators

[@svetlanalazovskaya6912]

Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge and you look absolutely stunning!

[@PTSmash]

I know a guy who keeps labeling himself as a depressed trauma survivor loaded with empathy, but he's also said things on social media like, " How dare this person do this to me!" and "All my friends say I'm so generous!" and "Why do I keep having bad luck with girls?" All this, in addition to his toxic behavior, has led me to think he might be a covert narcissist. That's why I'm tuning into this channel.

[@Quintpeterson]

AMEN … seems the more time you stay away from them. The more clarity you have. … Spending too much time with them puts you in a world of bullshit … and you don’t even know it’s happening .. both parents and my golden child brother had me on the brink of death and substance-abuse until I finally went to therapy .. my therapist suggested minimal contact .. it’s been 14 years I’ve pulled myself out of the sinkhole of torture and I’m doing great … they are completely awestruck and extremely jealous .. I think jealousy is the underlying current in their life and they will always steer you in the wrong direction … today I just yes them to death and move on and pretend I never even had the conversation … works like a charm ..😎

[@alexander191297]

Oh… my N-mom… she is a covert, vulnerable narcissist, and my childhood was basically a clusterfuck of triangulation. “You should be more like XYZ and exercise more!” “XYZ already started his own business, why do you have to be so lazy!” “You _need_ to meet XYZ, she’s a girl who actually fits you!” All things I’ve heard from her.

[@Kingdom_of_God777]

The most common I’ve heard from the narc in my life has been the typical absolute denial “That never happened” “I have no clue what you’re talking about” “That makes no sense” My favorite way to respond is typically something like “Oh I’m so sorry you are unable to remember…” “ I understand and it must be hard for you to not understand these things…” “Yes I know I am sorry that most things do not make sense for you” They never like being called out on a hidden sort of subconscious level because then they realize you are on to their BS at that same hidden level which means you are able to expose them and they know it!

[@TonyaBrewton]

That’s good! I need to use these. Thanks!!!

[@heatherstewart6603]

@@TonyaBrewton Please, please, don’t. Those comments are even worse and more narcissistic and condescending/devaluing than the messages they claim they heard first. It’s emotional immaturity responding to emotional immaturity. If you want to be as much of an abuser as your abuser, then by all means resort to those comments. I suggest to politely and simply call their behavior out and excuse yourself from the conversation till they can be honest or walk away completely. *Those responses are 💯 passive aggressive in nature and what a toxic person or narcissist would resort too.

[@DistinctiveThinking]

Oh that is excellent ! Thanks! I agree with the polite calling out! Just be prepared for the tantrum!

[@Kingdom_of_God777]

@@heatherstewart6603 Heather Heather Heather. sheesh. This is what is called reactive abuse to the abuser. It’s simply letting the predator know that you know what they’re up to. 100% no contact or gray rocking is always the best solution but sometimes when you have no choice but to respond and not to react to a narcissist or an abuser it is necessary to call them out on their nonsense. This is why I said the things that I did.

[@Kingdom_of_God777]

@@DistinctiveThinking Yes, you’re welcome Miss Ann. I was not implying as the other person suggested to be rude or condescending. It’s just a matter of being very direct and straightforward, and calling out the abuser for their nonsense.

[@victoriajohn6942]

I've listened to your videos and some from other persons on narcissism. Great information all round. The more I tune in is the more I confirm, with all boxes checked, that I live with a narcissist and a covert narcissist one at that. Despite all the negative, fear triggering characteristics they seem to wear with pride, rather than running the next direction all I can think of is putting Shakespeare's, 'Taming of the Shrew" into effect. Hearing you say, "You can always shift the power dynamics with narcissists." gives me the booster I need to push forward while retaining a peace of mind. Thank you for this: )

[@charlesdavis3595]

Amen!!!. Your examples are not very far off from what I have heard from my biological sister. She has said many things that you can tell are based on jealousy, envy and just plain hurtful that your examples are very close to in retrospect. The planting of seeds has also been used by her as well.

[@tammyw.4779]

My company never use to be this way, even though these people have worked for my company for over 15 years… but Covid happened and all of the upper managements before - have since retired or passed. Now the people that were blocked because of behaviors like you describe, found their way in because they’ve received their get out of jail card i call it. It’s now exhausting working there and looking for ways to make the job still work. Been there almost 20 and I’m not young anymore. Like the encouraging words. Thank you

[@kimslone5185]

Amen. Before the discussion of narcissism, I used to call this girl-bullying because among girls and women, traditionally fighting had to be done under the radar...this being mean girl social fighting. When I first encountered a male covert narcissist I wanted to tell him he fought like a girl.

[@tulip811]

That's literally what they do 😭

[@kaychapman3161]

the statement about how it sounds ridiculous when you describe what they do is so perfect! That's the part that messes with your mind... this thing just happened and telling someone around you - they shrug and say "so what?"

[@Malin0908]

Thank you for this. I dont know for sure if my parents or my mother is a narsissist. But after i started in therapy and been digging in my past, i can relate to alot of this. It’s been difficult telling about it because i also feel like i am over reacting and too sensitive, wich i have been told my whole life. So when i am telling this to someone for The first time, i am afraid they will think «is that so bad?» thankfully my pshycolog is very understanding and i feel for The first time my feelings are validated.

[@leolamccallister6147]

My narcissist always says hurtful statement and then when I respond he states I want to start an argument he's usually very loud when I say you're being he accuses me of being loud he's transferring what he does back on to me not much maturity find leaving the area most of the time.

[@jamespeterson2690]

What is happening before you try to start an argument? Is he just relaxing and then you come in and try to start an argument?

[@iys6890]

He sounds totally emotionally immature!

[@gnelson6200]

They are very good at being a victim after provoking people incessantly. Complaining to their social circle that you won’t leave them alone but then they will call, email, text, choose to live or work near your home simply to tell people you drove by their house. They leave the part out that they continually put themselves in your path. They set the stage for sure.

[@kumarsankarra3372]

Amen, Rebecca...One of my family members is a covert passive aggressive narcissist. He secretly colludes with others, talks nicely to me, but reveals in flashes, his aggression against me, by remarking his passively aggressive comments that he made to others in relation to me...

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes! Woohoo! www.icanslay.com ✨

[@ericnorthman9410]

SNEAKY - that's the worst. I'm dealing with one now AND a dangerous overt one. It's been rough . They won't remember saying things that you know they did. They rewrite history.

[@RogueMamaStitcher1]

My in-laws used to give me stuffed dog toys in the packages they'd send me and my mil said, "When we see these black dogs ,we think of you." I'm not even a dog person, so I just told them I didn't want their dog gifts anymore...tried to say it politely. There's a lot more of the covert stuff before and after that. 😅

[@lutreciawhitfield6892]

My in-law gave me an ash tray for Christmas one year. Plot twist… I don’t smoke, NEVER smoked! They know this🤣😂 Spouse said I should be grateful. It’s the thought that counts!😂

[@RogueMamaStitcher1]

@@lutreciawhitfield6892 🤣 Ash tray? Wow. Haha!

[@lutreciawhitfield6892]

@@RogueMamaStitcher1 Yes!! Smoke triggers my allergies. I still have that ash tray to this day. Still wrapped in the gift box from about 15 years ago. 😂🤣 Hilarious!

[@lutreciawhitfield6892]

I’m sorry, but the stuffed dog toys are just as funny as my ash tray story. WOW!!😂🤣 I’m so grateful I can “see” now and that I’m getting away from all of this nonsense. God bless you ♥️

[@RogueMamaStitcher1]

@@lutreciawhitfield6892 Exactly! It's funny because of how crazy it is!! Glad you escaped. 😂 God bless you too!🙏🏼❤

[@_..-.._..-.._]

I played this video as audio only and realized that your voice sounds a lot like Elaine from Seinfeld. It’s a great voice! 👍 and what you say is transformational and eye-opening.

[@lil--mo2025]

They will always start to say that “it’s not my intention to do that!”

[@Evilmindy12]

My mom’s favorite when being held accountable “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

[@aannji9085]

I often get, “that wasn’t my intention,” flat out denial, or we can agree to disagree

[@kelligray1848]

Sooooo right. Mine calls it his “spy talk”. He once told me it’s so that nobody can pin down what they’ve said to use against them. Now it’s funny because cuts so obvious and I could care less what anyone else thinks.

[@philgehringer8245]

They also undermine you, second guess, they start to really feel paranoid. I was with one for 8 months and it's been a year since I saw her, but I was saying something didn't feel right in the first 3 days I was with her. After 3 months I thought it was phone addiction, well that's what triggered everything especially when I asked her to put it down for awhile and of course everything got swept under the rug, but anyway in the beginning you're the best and they love hearing you talk, well at about the 2nd month, she had said to me on the phone" OMG you talk to much" so I called her out and she said I took it out of context, idk how to take 4 words out of context, they also cut off every conversation that you start after a little while, I mean every conversation, they are definitely sneaky about it and the smearing is incredible and like you said Rebecca, it's the psychological part's and effects. I remember she had told me to hold her phone for a week, I said that's not going to work, she said ok! "Then we'll do 2 wks" well that lasted 2 days and knowing about drug addiction and being very good at reading actions, when I gave the phone back it like giving a drug addict heroin and like I was saying through the course of the hilacious relationship that whatever's going on is serious. I can honestly say that, covert narcissist BS did the worst abuse on my mental health than any other drug ever did, she actually educated me on what my 20 yr soon to be wife was the whole time and know it's like pure hell after knowing what a narcissist is. My sister is one, my step mother, my 17yr old son and My so called Buddy I've known over 30yrs, that I basically cut off all ties with and I'll tell you what knowing what I know now I'm to happy go lucky, I can't be around one for more than 5 mins and I can sense them as well as they can sense me but if I can keep my mouth shut, I can really mess with them and it's hard for an empathetic and sensitive nice person to act like them, so if you can sense who they are first before showing them you're true, genuine self, you can pick them out in a couple of days and I think I got mine to leave me in 8 months bc I think I'm a super empath INFJ, bc she also told me I had anger issues bc of the way I would scream at her, well after looking into it, My kind doesn't like to be lied to and filled with enough drama and ridiculous excuses to last a lifetime. So the next time I see any signs I'm just running like they say, it's not even worth a one night stand! Yes you're absolutely correct! It's the hardest thing to explain and understand. Sorry for the long comment, I just have so much to say and my story could actually help others

[@jamesscott6917]

In the case of my narc, she wouldn’t have admitted to the error in years, she would have turned it on the target, “you misheard me” or “You misunderstood me.” The big one I heard a lot was, “I’m sorry you feel that way” after getting vague and empty explanations for their behavior and how hurtful it was.

[@sandersmarie0]

Mines would make comments about my body and then say it’s a joke, I’m too emotional, I’m bipolar when he got a reaction, never answers serious questions directly, tried to say I was trying to control him or that he likes his freedom in respond to me making a statement or question. Always say he’s “concerned” with a decision I might have made. He has told me he wants me to do what he says to a certain extent. It truly blows my mind how verbatim this is.

[@sandersmarie0]

Doesn’t ask questions about me, says I was “ doing too much” when I told him to call me after work one day. I even shared a baby pic with him and he says “ no wonder why he left” (meaning my biological father) , his respond was “ I’m jp.. its really sickening.

[@melaniekennedy4806]

15 years working with one. So exhausting. So very accurate, thank you.

[@jeanettecook1088]

To a request: "We'll see..." To a question about X: "Well, don't you know that only people who (impossible condition), get to have X?" To a need: "Oh did you say something?" & etc. Death by a thousand cuts. Yes.

[@ElseMarie163]

Amen. My ex-hole would say something and I would respond, “that’s not nice”, he would say “who said I was nice”. And then laugh

[@ckyung1312]

"ex-hole" 😅

[@amandasanders5144]

My ex hides in saying things like "I'm an asshole, always have been". No, no you haven't.

[@kevinmalone3210]

Sick in the head.

[@shanntastical4968]

Ex-hole 🤣💀💀💀💀 Yo that’s hilarious

[@sarahfellows3074]

Yes. Men like you, and it's not because of what you look like, but because you are such a really good person... that's what one said to me .I think that was a backhanded compliment

[@LyndieLouWho]

"I was just being honest, it was not my intention to hurt your feelings." She would always say things like, "You have to look at the intent" and "I would never lie to anyone; it's my perception of the situation." She kept me second-guessing myself.

[@cynthismanning6397]

"I didn't mean to cause you harm". I started throwing that one back in his face. He didn't like that.

[@user-ge6uo2ry2b]

The back handed compliments. The triangulation. The smear campaigns. My golden child sibling refuses to believe that his own mother smears his name and trashes him behind his back and he does everything for her.

[@peaknonsense2041]

Record it within the confines of local jurisdiction laws.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes!>> www.icanslay.com ✨

[@cynthiahernandez1676]

AMEN!! When your speaking to them and they say “ uh huh, yeah, yeah, uh huh” and they are totally ignoring you by saying that before you’ve even finished what your saying.

[@Kingdom_of_God777]

“I was just joking” YES! The most very recent BS that I’ve heard from my alcoholic narc sibling This person always has the need during every conversation to say “I know things too you know” “I know stuff too” “Just so you know I understand things too” ALWAYS a need to let me know that they know things because they need that validation and confirmation and without it they are absolutely nothing and empty as a human being I had called out my sibling for always saying that and even mocked them and mimicked them as well about it for the shock value The reply: “Oooooh stop I was just joking” ya right LIAR

[@juliemiller9760]

Alcohol adds an even sadder aspect. When sober (less and less often), they are funny and smart. A couple of BUD LIGHTs and out comes the RAGING CYNIC...or worse, if they're insecure and you are not. "Know your value; unlock your freedom."

[@philgehringer8245]

Yeah I was only joking, u take everything out of context, you're crazy and I also heard multiple times "you're dramatic "and " no one ever leaves me I leave them " "ask anyone I always do this after a couple of months "

[@brianhenderson6701]

Same thing . I tried to kiss my ex and she turned her head and wouldn’t kiss me, I later asked why she said “ I was joking and forgot to ask you for one after “

[@hallelujah5506]

Omg! When you said the phrases you got it down to the sound of their voice… “I’m so concerned about her”… it sounds just like how my mom would sound and yes, she used the phrase “concerned” about me when I voiced the truth about how she makes me feel… I was sooo Angry! This is not concern at all. They say this shit so they can’t paint a picture of how they want to be perceived. But the inflection in voice- spot on!! ❤

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

If you are so sick of the drama, trauma, and chaos- and want real powerful strategies for success - I’ve got the answer for you - sign up for our free webinar and start your transformative journey- this is the day your life changes! Woohoo! www.icanslay.com ✨

[@cindypabst9293]

It's like if they say "I am concerned about " they can say anything to you

[@jamespeterson2690]

Yes. They're always concerned. Nothing can ever be just fine.

[@chakkakon]

My testimony is almost unbelievable. (My avatar shows my brain damage). But I want to add one way I stopped ONE of his games / abuse tactics. Starting immediately after marriage, 25 years ago, he’d make little jokes about the bags under my eyes and how dark they are. Over and over again I asked him so stop because it hurt my feelings. He told me “it’s just a joke”. He wouldn’t stop so i finally said “ok. Little jokes about our physical appearances are ok? Fine. The next little joke you tell me about my bags, I’ll tell you one about your necks.” He NEVER made another comment about my bags again. These demons know EXACTLY what they are doing. And don’t think drugging you is outta bounds for them, because it is not. Not by a long shot.

[@xavierhernandez1810]

I cannot stress how accurate this is to someone I'm dealing with in my life. A close family friend, I've come to realise is one the most covert narcissists I ever encountered. He's Sooo passive aggressive, whenever I call him out on bad behaviour, the conversation ALWAYS ends with me having to return to therapy because I'm paranoid or unstable. Everything about this person is soo insincere and yet he's a practicing psychologist and in the public eye is seen to be so generous and caring but underneath it all he is unbelievably jealous, insecure person that is constantly saying hurtful things to be people close to him.

[@Floatwheel_notOnewheel]

It’s creepy how much they repeat these comments over and over. I have tons of texts with these exact sayings year after year. Textbook. “I’m so jealous of the bond she has lol”. “Your so hurtful. “ “reread your texts “, i didn’t know (when they dud) “. It’s insane

[@bryantfarms2691]

Omg yes! I could never explain it, like being in a car wreck a lot of the time. It’s a nightmare relationship… so toxic, but what a great teacher. Inner child wounds needing to be healed. About to go back into litigation facing my fears. Prayers from the collective! 🙏🏼🦅✨

[@clnhunter9137]

“Left handed complements”… their specialty

[@Shasha8674]

People may attract narcissistic attention if they step on ego or are too passive.

[@PrettyToez07]

Agree. I think the fact that I made a smart remark towards my narcissist attracted him.

[@Shasha8674]

@@PrettyToez07 Yes!

[@FartsNCraps]

Oh my God thank you for this this video is answered so many questions and relieve me of so many doubts that I had you are 100% correct every word that comes out of your mouth I would say you definitely are an expert on this subject I just don’t know how to thank you But I will keep watching your videos and I will certainly remember your name thank you for this channel and what you were doing to victims of narcissistic personality disorder I hate to refer to my self as a victim but man sometimes there’s just no other word the emotional torture that was inflicted the abuse the games the gaslighting the constant gaslighting the constant nitpicking Passive aggressive you are wonderful for doing this and for putting it out here for free it’s not free advice it’s the most valuable priceless information you could ever share with the world

[@joerickman2965]

The way other people seem to think the covert narcissist is great, as they lie about you and put you down, is maddening. Those around them actually seem to believe their lies as well. Misery loves company and some people love to hate, even when they know the truth... Thus, their comrades/fellow hater's, become their flying monkey's.

[@melb7462]

💯💯

[@alexblaze8878]

I find flagrant virtue signaling to be an early warning sign of covert narcissism. It’s their way of establishing they are more righteous and pure than you are.

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Redefine the way you view challenges in high-conflict negotiations. Our training will show you how to turn trials into triumphs. Learn more highconflictcert.com/

[@shannonthompson2762]

"Amen".. I just out of a 9 year relationship with a covert narcissist. I didn't realize he was a narcissist until I start doing a lot of research. I couldn't put up with it anymore. I feel alot better never since I left him and more happy. I'm ready to move forward with my life. 🤗😊🙌

[@maggiemedina2295]

The put down.... "I know I have to change but I'm not the only one"

[@RebeccaZungEsq]

Ever wondered why narcissists move goalposts? Discover intriguing insights and effective strategies in our free webinar. 🧐 Learn more highconflictcert.com/ 🚀

[@321leigh]

Amen, “I was just joking.” Then I’ll have to go over and over a past conversation in your head bc THEY are just assuming I’LL forget the conversation, (but I didn’t.) Narcs can’t admit they were wrong , it’s beyond immature! At least that’s what I always assumed an old coworker acted like that to me but was helpful and nice to everyone else where I was working . (she was just pretty stressed out, I talked to her years later, when I ran into her.. we’re still friends. 👍🏻 not a narc)

[@missrose2686]

I always found it odd that on Downton Abbey, Lady Mary says "you always liked a joke" was a bully's defense. Since Lady Mary could be a bully herself at times, I must say she was shockingly aware of the dynamics and nuances of the language excusing it.

[@switchunboxing]

Imma start saying to them what I say to people on the Internet. “Oh, jokes are usually funny or have humor to them.” But you know the funny thing is when you’re not around them, suddenly you’re thinking clearly. You can think of all the come back’s. You can think of all the healthy boundaries to have. And then when you are there, you are in their zone. You might start out with a clear head but then you’re tangled in the web. Glad I don’t live with them anymore.