CPTSD - My Reality Isn't What I Thought it Was, I'm Not There Yet!

My CPTSD has always felt like a double edged sword. I fight and make progress but yet there's more coming every day and I don't know how much longer I can go on? I always thought I had done enough work, made enough progress since learning about my diagnosis that I was ready to face what has always been my hardest battle, my trauma vs my relationship. Until yesterday I had always believed I had done enough that I could move forward, that the light at the end of the tunnel would shine through but I see the truth, that I am not ready! my reality is that I need to do a lot more work that I am not capable of being in a relationship because my trauma is too strong to be the adult and make the adult choices here but instead my parts were the ones in control and made childish choices and displayed child like behaviors and it's likely the the source of the likely demise of my relationship with my partner of 3 1/2 years.
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