6 Beloved Christmas Movies With Horrible Secret Meanings | After Hours

[@BobLogical]

Christmas Story is a lot less creepy once you realize it takes place a year before Pearl Harbor, i.e. this is Ralphie's last Christmas before a life changing, world altering event and the symbolic end of his childhood. It makes sense that that was the best gift he'd ever received, since the very next year was punctuated by World War II, and everything after that is tinted with a sobering layer of realism. It's more just sad or bittersweet.

[@macybell5016]

Bob Logical

[@PaperbackWizard]

Maybe. But even that context doesn't take away the "horror" Dan describes; it just makes it worse. Maybe next year in the run up Christmas, he's just watching news reports about the destruction. Maybe the next few years after that, his hometown is emptied of able-bodied men who are off fighting in the war, some of whom never return. Maybe the whole community is devastated, making it harder than ever for him to recover. And who knows what his father is like during all this time. I mean, Ralphie is obviously a very depressed young man for whom finding happiness is the most difficult thing in the world. A world war is *not* going to help that at all.

[@jasonblalock4429]

Plus that would make Ralphie part of the "Silent Generation," the ones who were too young to serve in WWII but old enough to remember it. Their formative years were saturated in the worst in humanity, then spent they their lives being miserable and denying their feelings by becoming alcoholic and\or otherwise drug-addicted. (Like Don Draper.) So.... yeah. Ralphie is a sad, broken man who happily reminisces about events most people would find horrifying, because the happiest time of his entire life was *The Great Depression.*

[@talic-os5899]

@@jasonblalock4429 I have nothing to add, just find this analysis amazing. (your and op's)

[@scp--297]

@@jasonblalock4429 OOOOF. Dam, that sucks.

[@negascoot23]

Something occurred to me while watching this episode: Since Soren, Dan, Katie, and Michael are essentially playing exaggerated versions of themselves, it's easy to overlook how talented they are as actors. You literally forget that they're acting, and completely buy into the idea that you're just watching 4 pop culture geeks bullshit at a diner. They aren't. They are reading lines from scripts other people wrote. There's a director telling Soren to ramp up the charm, or Dan to be less pitiful... All this came to me just from watching Swaim totally sell his head injury. Watch this again with the fact that you're watching theater in mind... he is nothing short of brilliant. Why Hollywood isn't begging these remarkable performers to star in movies and TV shows is beyond me.

[@the1exnay]

The only thing that tends to snap me out of the illusion is how quick-witted and knowledgeable they seem. Like they all memorized every single movie they watched and can form fan theories at the drop of a hat. But they do make it seem really natural and it just feels like they're really just chatting despite the improbability of it all

[@negascoot23]

Firaro I have had friends like this... I AM a person like this😀 OK, perhaps my knowledge isn't QUITE as encyclopedic. But I spent a good deal of my late teens and early twenties doing what these 4 do nearly every night... People like these DO exist. Oh, and they make it clear that they research ahead of time for certain debates...Michael often has a notebook with him, and Daniel usually has his notecards. They don't expect you to believe they're going purely from memory.

[@PawelSorinsky]

I'm the same on Heavy Metal related content.

[@maureengillis2708]

I keep thinking this! If you watch other Cracked content you get a better picture of their talent. Also DOB creates and/or writes for a considerable number of them.

[@nkirukaj2384]

James Daniels yea, it took me a while to realize they were acting, I noticed when it said "Katie's brain, Soren's brain etc"

[@danthompson1044]

On the subject of Scrooge, Soren is assuming that the ghosts have unlimited power, and can approach multiple people. If the three ghosts could only give one person a second chance, then Scrooge is a good choice, as he subsequently effects the lives of Cratchet and his own family positively as a result. Two birds with one stone, so to speak.

[@Rougarou99]

Not to mention the fact that it was heavily implied that Marley was only able to visit Scrooge and call forth the aid of the Ghosts of Christmas because that was the night Scrooge was supposed to die.

[@timothycarney9652]

Everyone forgets that Jacob Marley was Scrooge's friend- it could just as easily be happening because this one suffering ghost wanted to spare his living best bud the same torment he is undergoing.

[@Sam-sr9zq]

I love Soren's reaction when Michael says they're going to sex later.

[@Sam-sr9zq]

I also love the way Dan sits right up cause he's excited about it too. >_

[@MarieGarrett.]

He offhandedly flirts with him all the time lol

[@seanruebush1273]

There it is.

[@4Tom4lepus4]

"And then 3 ghosts come" "Urgh, on who?" I'm laughing harder than I should :D

[@Cheesusful]

He missed one: "and then they show the massive dick..."

[@thegayghost872]

The gym didn't die, Laurie died.

[@PongoXBongo]

+Andrew Addams RIP the gym.

[@theheroesofcrash311]

To be fair, when Scrooge changed his ways, it affected MANY people; not only the Cratchitt family, but Scrooge's nephew, all of Scrooge's financially strapped clients, and the charities Scrooge donated to. Scrooge was a linchpin of kindness, after the ghosts got through with him. I will concede that the kid's memories from A Christmas Story were pretty lousy... perhaps that's why it's one of the few Christmas movies I don't like (much to the surprise and disgust of many).

[@kalcheus]

In the end, Dickens is arguing for Trickle Down Economics

[@Nicol80145]

I always thought the motto of a Christmas story was shit happens but that doesn't mean life sucks entirely.

[@robertcorbell1006]

cgjthoma Look up, "A man's a man for that."

[@theheroesofcrash311]

Indeed. Trickle-down economics doesn't really work, but trickle-down kindness does. :)

[@dustyrose192]

Also scrooge was a merciless money shark. He stopped being so greedy (a christian sin, and he lives in Victorian England where the church meant a lot) So he probably stopped his money shark business to a more resepctable loan operation affair. Also he was a landlord with shitty apartments and houses. He probably spent his wealth making those places much more livable.

[@Drace90]

Katie wins! ...Finally! Daniel: 15 Soren: 10 Katie: 9 Michael: 13

[@ursidae97]

I wanna see katie win more lol

[@jasonlee4830]

I love After Hours (wish they would make more of them).

[@trystinlindsay5674]

Welp

[@wraithchild2246]

You forgot the all-time worst: Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer. Moral of story: You're not good for anything unless you're good for something. Even Santa Claus, and especially Donner, totally dis on Rudolph for simply being 'different'. But once they learn his inconvenient nose will help with the storm, he's lauded as a hero. I guess the North Pole has never had a storm before in this alternate universe. And Bumble! How/what is he supposed to eat now? Is someone going to regurgitate a half ton of food a day for him? I don't think so. But I realized this negativity in the show at about 5 yrs. old. I asked my mom about it and, of course, she couldn't answer.

[@mikek4610]

Holly Keros the real world sucks dont it

[@cha5]

And Donnor that bone headed father of Rudolf. "I knew that nose would come in handy. Knew it all the time." after he spent Rudolf's entire childhood humiliating and shaming his son about his nose. Not to mention that slave driving Elf overseer lording over Herbie and the other elves. Oh well at least he let him be a dentist. "Okay boss, This tooth of yours is going to have to come out right now.... Now this might hurt a bit." >:-)

[@wraithchild2246]

Bro, yes it does.

[@kibateo]

To be honest After Hours is my fav series out of the entire cracked serieses

[@elisep886]

I agree. I wish there was a new one

[@theoneandonlymichaelmccormick]

This video is evidence that the best, most flawless Christmas movie ever, is Die Hard.

[@ananimeplace.3808]

FACTS!

[@burbanpoison2494]

gremlins.

[@zacharyhayden6521]

AND WE HAVE A TIE!

[@brainstorm623]

Wrong! The best Christmas movie is The God Father 3.

[@zacharyhayden6521]

Brainstormer623 AND WE HAVE A THREEWAY! tie, I forgot to say tie.

[@darqjade]

"and these 3 ghosts come" "eww! on who?" "fine, these 3 ghost arrive!" - oh thank you so much Cracked, so very very much

[@lady_caiti]

This video literally just turned 7 years old and I still come back to it every Christmas Eve. It's my own little tradition that I've had since I was like twelve or thirteen. Means a lot more to me now that this series, which used to be one of my favorites, is over.

[@TheRealNormanBates]

4:10 "Now he's just a bitter man..(yadda yadda yadda)" Except that he remembers his childhood fondly. If he was bitter and depressed (and never achieved anything), the tone of his voice alone would reflect this, much less he would only reflect upon all of the BAD childhood experiences. When adult Ralphie is telling his childhood story, he sounds pretty laid back and happy to me. One could say he's even nostalgic (like the rest of the viewing audience).

[@garysanders6091]

Well it's implied is it not? If those terrible memories are his best memories, then he MUST be bitter. Thats what I took from it.

[@TheRealNormanBates]

Gary Sanders But they're not terrible memories. Sure, he had bad things happen (like the bully), but even then he wound up standing up to him. All of those mini adventures were spoken about with a sense of glee and nostalgia ("Ah, those were the days!"), not bitter or envious of childhood naivete' ("If I only knew then what I know now. PS: people suck."). But I guess it's like the "glass half full or half empty". In the end you see what you want .

[@meaghanreid7308]

Also it should be noted that the narrator is the author of the book from which all the events in A Christmas Story were taken (In God We Trust: All Others Pay Cash). And in the book, he is reminiscing with a friend in a bar, not speaking to a therapist.

[@alexanderyoung8628]

I dispute the Grinch Theory. It's stated that the Grinch's cot is blown into Whoville due a to a "strange wind" that blew from the opposite direction that it normally did. It doesn't mean that there are no other Grinch's, it just means that they're inhabiting a different region, and the Grinch was transported to Whoville due to a meteorological phenomenon. Furthermore, the Grinch isn't exiled, he exiles himself. He personally chooses to leave Whoville as a child to go and live on the mountain. He chooses to leave behind several people who love him, namely the two old ladies that raised from infancy, who sacrificed everything else in their lives to raise a child that was not their own, and the girl in his class who remained infatuated with the Grinch well into adulthood. His own selfishness and self-centredness blinds him from the fact that he is indeed loved by people, and instead he exiles himself to live a life of solitude due to no fault of anyone but himself. When he returns to Whoville to destroy all they love, their reaction is to welcome him into their community. Not to reject him, or to punish him, but to allow him to change himself. To grow a heart. It's not a story of colonialist assimilatory genocide, it's in fact a metaphor for the need to become a culturally accepting and aware society that is able to embrace diversity without prejudice and discrimination. The point of the tale is not the Grinch, it's the Whos. The Whos are the most important part of the story, as they are the people that let the Grinch into their community. Yes sometimes they can be bullies. Yes sometimes they can be foolish. Yes, sometimes they can be strange. But aren't we? Aren't we just like them? We are the Whos, a society of sometimes weird, sometimes foolish, sometimes cruel people, who must find it in our hearts to become accepting of others' diversity, and cultures, and identity and to welcome them into caring society, that will accept, and celebrate them for who they are.

[@TheMadwomen]

you are using a really bad adaptation that was NOT by seuss to make your point? there was the cover of the grinch song that made the whole movie worthwhile, but that's it.

[@carsonangland8482]

i think my brain just threw up. :|

[@hexadecimal5236]

I also dispute the entire Grinch theory (this seemed like lazy writing because you know the continued argument). The point Dr Seuss was making in the Grinch is Love thy neighbor as thyself or Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. The original cartoon doesn't say where the Grinch came from, but assuming he is an American Indian (which I am) is a bit of reach. Also, even those who know that Christ-Mass was made up by Macy's and the Catholic Church don't care because it is the spirit of giving and family, of giving unto others and of giving back to the community. Sorry Kati, the real Grinch here is you...:D Good work on the rest of the Afterhours videos tho! I hope there are hundreds more! FOX NBC CBS STOP FUNDING OLD MEDIA and start funding shows like Cracked !

[@eval.3582]

no Alexander Young i dispute YOUR theory, which was clearly based on a MOVIE instead of the actual book. also Rose BPOS idk how Katie talking about a scripted topic of what Dr. Suess's story was about makes her a grinch, when in fact before he started writing children books he did political cartoons himself. But assuming the grinch is a Native American is a reach like you said. but i mostly say that because i thought the story was about christmas not being about gifts, but about friends and families.

[@MoonShadowWolfe]

Uh ... that live action thing is canon? Must it be? I'm not saying I didn't like it, but are we really considering it *part of what the Grinch is forever*?

[@art-is-awen8842]

Now I want to hear about the peanuts theory

[@hieveryone6692]

I did to but nope we had to go with the theory that didn't make much sense

[@ironicappreciation4374]

+Hi Everyone It did, actually. Him dwelling and reminiscing on his shitty childhood with only the moral explication that "life is hard. Suck it up. Nothing ever works out." explicitly conveys his resentment towards himself and everything that's happened to him in some horrid, cynical tone.

[@TheProxy066]

Kala K Same.

[@CERTAIND00M]

Is it just me or does Katie look a lot like Ariel Winter in this episode?

[@calvcoolidge]

I totally see that.

[@vyxxer]

I just kinda want an after hours podcast, witch would be these four people just writing the next episode of after hours.

[@minespatch]

They could do a thing similar to Spill were they could shorten the podcast to a highlighted animation.

[@msmichelle746]

It's on Michael's youtube account SmallBeans

[@craign947]

Daniel and Soren have a podcast, it is called quick question, and it is the highlight of my week

[@aaronorear]

The narrator of A Christmas Story sounds mid-thirties? How young IS Dan? 22? 17? Because if a voice that old sounds 30-something to him, he's gotta be a youngster. The narrator, Jean Shepherd, was 62 when the movie came out.

[@beatnikmary]

Thank-you!! And has Dan EVER truly looked like a youngster? I think he was just misremembering the voice, or else mixing it up with another narrator Wonder Years maybe? Again, not mid 30's, but closer)

[@ObaREX]

Katie did not win... not in my opinion. She didn't ruin Grinch for me because her theory is just TOO far fetched. Seriously? The Grinch joined the Whos when he realized they weren't as shallow and consumer-ish as they seemed. He was touched. his heart warmed. He wasn't pressured. Plus, it is implied that the Grinch is just another Who that was born different.

[@kathytran99]

+Edward Gil (ObaREX) He also got a back story in the live action movie where he associated Christmas with a childhood trauma that he overcame with love and other warm, fuzzy feelings.

[@ObaREX]

Viet Kathy Exactly. I wasn't even referring to that movie but if we count it, Katie's theory is just completely debunked.

[@thewalri6199]

+Viet Kathy Well. Nope. That is a remake and thus does not co-incide in the same universe. What does however, is Halloween is Grinch Night. The Halloween themed prequel. In it it is explained that the grinch only comes around on what are called "Grinch Nights" where he goes to inbetween is un-explained, but, it is left to be assumed that he is some sort of mythical beast made of primarily hatred, heck the original book and Christmas special don't even know why he hates everything so much, notice how it's always maybe when they're explaining his hatred. BOOM. If this was a Cracked After Hours discussion I would probably take like 2nd place.

[@kathytran99]

TheWalri Is it genocide?!?

[@ObaREX]

***** It's not that funny. The joke about the good guys turning out to be bad has run it's course. It wouldn't kill them to think of different theories.

[@mksabourinable]

Actually it's fine to let someone who has had a concussion sleep, in fact rest is really good for them. Just whenever they sleep over the next 24 hours make sure that you wake them every few hours to make sure they can be woken. You should still get them to a doctor, especially if they are having other symptoms, but yea.

[@magnificentfailure2390]

+Kate Speaks Wouldn't the possibility that they could not be woken be kind of a hindrance to letting them sleep?

[@gummysnacksandknives9229]

@@magnificentfailure2390 yeah the reason people say not to let them sleep is because it's harder to recognize the serious symptoms some people do say don't let them sleep until you can get to a doctor but yeah rest is the best thing for people with concussions also never give someone with a concussion aspirin or any type of ASA medicine

[@SwordlordRoy]

Someone pointed out to me a horrible meaning (More about the song, but it can work for the movie too) behind Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. It more or less says it's perfectly OK to shame and ridicule people who are different and bully them, but be nice to them once they are useful so that you can use them for your own ends.

[@Ibeatganon4fun]

"In this world, what you want is denied you; and if you get what you want, pain inevitably follows." Words to live by.

[@Orcus98]

I'll take this as Cracked's Christmas present to me. Well done.

[@waterblessed765]

A christmas story? The most endearing christmas movie is obviously Die Hard

[@gavinagain4631]

Yippie Ki-ai.

[@PeterG00000]

Wrong! Most endearing Christmas movie goes to Gremlins. A movie so laden with Christmas that they hardly even mention it.

[@futoijosei]

Peter Gorman Haha

[@gunslinger2566]

I gotta go with Lethal Weapon.

[@economicvase3986]

The Nightmare Before Christmas

[@feliciaoladipo2731]

"And these 3 ghosts come" "Eww on who??" Brilliant.

[@-Cetus-]

Katie's really reaching with the Grinch. The Grinch stays up on the hill because he hates their festivities, and even says so himself. While you might be able to say the different color of his fur could hold some negative connotations about race, I always just assumed he was an unkempt who that was just a miserable loner. His "brainwashing" at the end of the movie I thought was a message that you can be happier not shutting people out of your life and being so shallow. The Grinch thought that the other whos only celebrated for the sake of things they had, but saw that they were actually happy as a community and wanted what they had.

[@Despair505]

I don't remember the movie that well (I'm talking of the Jim Carrey movie), but I think the whos mentioned that you shouldn't go to the mountain because people went missing there. If that's correct, then that makes it extra creepy. The guy just kidnap people who goes to the mountain. Makes me think of a green weird version of the hillbillies from Deliverance

[@IsiahGames]

***** Also keep in mind that that's what the whos say, meaning that it could simply be racist wives tales.

[@lizzyrank5405]

Santa Claus movies are also creepy, you have an old man in the middle of nowhere with deer and little people ( who work for him) and all he does is spy on little kids all year round to see if they are naughty or nice. Then goes into their houses and leaves them presents so that they can continue to love him, until they are old enough to no believe anymore.

[@negascoot23]

lizzy Rank Yeah...It just dawned on me that most kids stop believing in Santa at relatively the same age they would cease to be attractive to true pedophiles... Damn you to Hell for making me think about this 😛😉

[@lizzyrank5405]

James Daniels Hehe 😋

[@Lolfire]

Huh weird, I had just ran through all the After Hours last night for the 30th time. You lot seriously need to keep pumping these out. They're fantastic. Easily the best thing about Cracked. I'd say it even surpasses the articles.

[@brettpalmer1770]

The Grinch wasn't forced to conform he willfully conformed. The Grinch could has just have been a antisocial hermit.

[@saydeetrammell5080]

Then why was he fuzzy and green if he was just a hermit?

[@brettpalmer1770]

skin condition, or any number of other things.

[@msjaide21]

Saydee Trammell, he's not a Who; he's a What. They're a different race.

[@brettpalmer1770]

Sidylue father said that because he didn't know for sure. You would know that if you read between the lines. Also if he is a different race how did he wind up in area where there was no grinches so far around that nobody knew what he was. That movie wasn't cannon to the original story anyway.

[@msjaide21]

There is no need to try to be condescending. The Whos pretty much only live in one town... it is possible that there are other races and The Grinch became separated from his family. Another reason he may be a different color/texture is from the toxicity of his environment. Also... these are made up characters.

[@emilywadkins4147]

"And then these three ghosts come..." "Ewww, on who??" One of my favorite lines from After Hours, thank you Swaim.

[@kaitdean7188]

Ok but Katie's theory has weight because Dr. Seuss was a Jewish German who frequently made anti nazi protest newspaper comics. They are very good

[@the1exnay]

Except that is obviously not suess' intended meaning behind it. The grinch is meant to be thought to be a better person for having assimilated. And everyone else is meant to be innocent bystanders just wanting to enjoy christmas in peace

[@ladynightmare_13]

Everyone else is being told to hate the Grinch by the Mayor. Do you not remember that part, Firaro? Kinda reminds me of Hitler.

[@jbshiva865]

That was just the live action movie, in the book there is no mayor, the only three characters with names are the Grinch, Max, and Cindy Lou.

[@Bo-jj1ij]

Re watching all the after hours videos in quarantine to make sure I've liked them all! I love Jordan's videos but I miss this series so much

[@MiraStardust]

"Eww...on who?" Nope..I lost it xD

[@RonwRog]

There are no words to express how much I love it when a new After Hours comes out...:)

[@lonewarrior250]

I can't believe they didn't mention One Magic Christmas. That movie would terrify any child into rejecting Christmas. An angel comes down from Heaven to stalk a struggling mother; then systematically murders her husband and children. All to teach her the meaning of Christmas spirit. This show use to play on TV during Christmas time back in the 80's; but, was quickly pulled from TV, as it was quickly seen for it's extremely morbid tale. If you've never heard of it, I suggest you hunt down a copy and see it, at least once. It is very dark for a Christmas movie.

[@RaptorNX01]

I actually loved that movie as a kid. But yeah, it was dark as hell. but then, most family films in the 80's were.

[@crzcloud]

OMG, talk about repressed memories. I totally black that out, now I must regain my sense of self worth and watch this movie, face my fears, and save...well you get the idea. I gonna re-watch this movie as a man who can understand.

[@HenryChristenson]

5:24 there are actually lots of grinch that just live further away from who-ville

[@davidrozo766]

In which doctor who book is that in

[@mosesmosestv]

3:29 looks like C+ from here

[@ricem5476]

Yeah it did. He must forgotten bit a little

[@deevies2182]

C+ is not that bad but it is not good it is decent

[@ASRGRetro]

Also, it makes sense that the Christmas Story is mostly bad memories, considering most people remember the bad stuff the best as thing that were traumatic are essentially etched into your memory.

[@Spartansoldier217]

The smoke detector at the end was a nice touch...

[@MrC4iny]

Whooo! After Hours!

[@nobledonkey17]

is it odd i find Daniel the best?

[@DoubleSlothgaming]

No

[@mfbmeg]

please keep creating this show!!!!! It truly keeps me happy

[@mshara1]

Katie is gorgeous in this episode. Will there be a Christmas special this year?

[@godlessgoth213]

The recoil on a redryder bb gun has so small of a recoil that it basically doesn't qualify.

[@Fishbiene]

I;m surprised they didn't talk about home alone more. Kevin is clearly a sociopath, and no one realizes it.

[@andrewmcquade9413]

I miss this Cracked 😢

[@CarlosMunoz1980]

In Katie's defense. Is not her fault she has a fantastic rack

[@gyishin]

I've seen all of these, but here I am. Rewatching. Missing all of this.

[@jsun4hees]

Not even one mention of Tim Allen killing Santa?

[@JCMProductions]

Actually, canonically, the narrator of A Christmas Story would 52. A Christmas Story came out in 1983 and it is set in 1940 when Ralphie is 9. Born in 1931, in 1983, he would be 52. I’ve always had a theory that since we are hearing these stories through the perspective of the narrator, that all these different events might have happened over the course of several Christmas or didn’t even happen on Christmas at all. The whole story might be a mish mash of different stories from his childhood all told in one go. Because all this amazing happens in the span of what, a week? These could all be separate childhood stories told as one long story.

[@AvonFoxglove]

Wasn't the original Gremlins movie a Christmas movie?

[@TheProxy066]

LoveSeals I think so.

[@thetertinator9562]

Ebenezer Scrooge is the prime target to be life changed. Dude is absolutely loaded and set to become a very impactful philanthropist

[@kayla7249]

a Christmas story was actually made by the director that made one of the first slasher films called a black Christmas which is so interesting to me

[@davidphillips2229]

I have an idea for an episode. 'who's worse, Bender or Rodger?'

[@oneblood7411]

So they still choose to leave out Home Alone? It's about a little boy who has all of the symptoms of a sociopath trapping 2 non-violent criminals in his house of pain. Don't believe it? Watch "Honest Trailers: Home Alone" by Screen Junkies.

[@skulflamz8233]

they briefly mentioned it

[@ackbarfan5556]

Non violent? I mean, they were planning to do everything to him that he did to them before they got snow shoveled by the old guy. Even if he didn't set the traps, Harry is smart enough to know that this kid could point them out in a police lineup and they couldn't let that happen.

[@iamthechanceman]

"RALPHIE, WHATSA MATTER?" "SOAP POISONING!"

[@jessewallis6589]

Scrooge's soul needs saving, Cratchit's doesn't... they weren't there to make anyone's life better, they were there to save a soul that needed saving, that lives were made better is a consequence of that... they knew Scrooge had it in him to be a decent and generous person, he used to be when he was young, and how many more lives, including Cratchit's, were made better because Scrooge became a good man?

[@RainbowKaitou]

0:43 "And these three ghosts come--" "Ew, on who??"

[@TheOriginalDalamanza]

+Cracked THE POLAR EXPRESS. In terms of just being fucking creepy this movie wins every time. It feels as though it was designed to make kids hate christmas. Not only is just the whole aesthetic of the film vaguely terrifying, but there are numerous scary incidents, not least when THE CHILDREN ALMOST DROWN IN A SACK OF PRESENTS. I can't remember the film that well, having not watched it in ages, but if that's not an anti-christmas, anti-consumerism message I don't know what is. Plus, Tom Hanks voices pretty much every prominent male character in the film - the main character, his dad, the conductor, the hobo, scrooge AND santa. I'm not sure what links they're trying to draw between the characters, but I don't like it whatever it is

[@ansixi4194]

+TheOriginalDalamanza scrooge? where was there a scrooge in that movie?

[@aquaislyfe9510]

+PerpetualPurpose it was a puppet in a train car probably hinted towards Zemeckis next film (Christmas carol) since the design was the same

[@ansixi4194]

Dark Super Saiyan oh yeah! That gave me the creeps

[@whoopdedoable]

"And these three ghosts come," "ew on who?" Hahaha

[@OneTrueEdge]

Anyone notice a family dynamic between Katie, Soren, Daniel and Michael?

[@sarahjbolyard3946]

Kinda. I wonder why does Katie has to fulfill the role of stereotypical ruin everything sister/mother type

[@OneTrueEdge]

Ame J Interesting point. Katie definitely adopts a surrogate mother role, especially when the two "older brothers", i.e. Soren and Daniel, respectively, begin feverishly advocating their parts. They're like latch-key kids with an absent mother and probably no father -- Katie needs to step in and be the mother and attempt to wrangle in her siblings, especially when Michael, the youngest, gets involved. Katie feels a duty to regulate the brothers, while at the same time, feels a need to be included and fit in with her male siblings.

[@sarahjbolyard3946]

Elu Arkham I think Katie seems like the oldest who is trying to fit in with her two brothers. It seems they (Soren and Daniel) recognize the odd dynamic of their elder sister acting like a mother but trying to fit in. They don't know how to respond to it so she appears to ruin everything. Michael is ignorant of the overall situation being the youngest.

[@OneTrueEdge]

Ame J She does support Michael when Soren and Daniel either taunt or ignore him, like asking him what he thinks or telling the others to leave him alone. She's the conduit for the conversation, though she still seeks the two older brothers' approval and wants to be recognized as an equal. She makes points that are acknowledged by Soren and Daniel, but I think she feels too much like a schoolmarm in the meantime. She attempts to break that stigma by making jokes that she perceives are on the same level as her siblings. She makes awkward jokes sometimes, but that's her trying to be a peer, rather than a constant chastising adult -- which her family is lacking and probably needing.

[@sarahjbolyard3946]

Daniel seems to try to keep them together also. He accepts he is the 'nerd' of the family, and one of the youngest, but he tries to be the most logical about their conversations. Despite this, he still doesn't get some of the jokes or conversations, much like a middle child trying to keep up and be cool. It seems though like Daniel, like Katie, tries to assimilate within the group. He may not get some of the jokes, so he makes his intelligent points. Maybe he sits next to Soren, his 'older cooler brother' to offset his nerdiness, and to show he is just as cool as his brother and to separate himself from the wacky younger brother and the motherly older sister.

[@coledansie9428]

at 6:47 she said again

[@FurryTyrant]

I still think you should do one on "Why 80's-90's cartoons promote the idea of child endangerment?"

[@WolfHreda]

I literally never liked A Christmas Story from the first time I saw it as a kid. It is horrendously depressing. I should probably watch it again now that I have a good appreciation of depressing stories.

[@jkbatty]

Is it wrong I now want to hear more about the Charlie Brown Christmas horror?

[@Smeeshie2001]

I never understood why people said that their childhood was ruined when told the dark truths behind their favorite childhood movies. But the Grinch, my childhood, I feel a hole in my chest now...

[@zgSH4DOW]

After Hours episodes take way too long to release :|

[@IrishMan441]

That smoke detector going off was surprisingly funny

[@fuggered1563]

Who doesn't want to take a gander at those fun bags?

[@lordgeneralmilitantdeezy7550]

i miss this channel

[@itsmeqwe1]

Horay!!! a new after hours... Oh shit time for cracked to re use the script in there next eight videos

[@101SAVIOR]

What do you mean?

[@riveramnell143]

"...and these three ghosts come..." "Ewww, on who???" >_< One of my favorite Michael episodes, love it

[@hannahpederson5962]

You guys should o something about secret meanings of broadway shows, i specifically think Phantom of the Opera would be relevant, for all us theater lovers!

[@AJ_Guerrero1990]

At female volchor obviously tom hanks is a agent a program in this time travler war fair

[@FalrGodsent]

Christmas came early, THANKS CRACKED!

[@OpabinaSr]

She said again....where was I when this happened?

[@lilyannekitten6707]

Goddammit Cracked! Just do a Doctor Who After Hours already! I've waited forever!

[@GeahkBurchill]

Sort of a writing question; What was the structural purpose of having Michael concussed? I watched the video twice and can't see the reason for having it in the skit.

[@BrightFameTowers]

Probably just to shake things up and give the video some kind of story line beyond the conversation.

[@NimhLabs]

Micheal never offers anything to the conversation, other than sex, sexual harassment and suggestions of boundaries being invaded. I'm not certain it would be easily feasible to keep him topical about Christmas. Also... it would be too hard to not have the sketch cross some really seriously lines with the audience. Keep him concussed out of an important subject... well important to keep perverted stuff out from it.

[@papayacatproductions]

It gives a narrative push. See Half in the Bag from Red Letter Media for more of this kind of youTube video structure.

[@NimhLabs]

papayacatproductions Wait... Purple Eyes mentioned those guys have Pizza Bagels! Well... the Heroic... kind of... One talked with some guys on all about Pizza Bagels.

[@loudrockacdc]

Katrina Payne i got pizza bagels. private msg me if u want me to send you a pizza bagel.

[@geraldspencer1956]

7:33 And the gang burns down another diner! Yaaaaaaaay!

[@ekscalybur]

I kept hear people talking but the only thing I could focus on were sweater puppies.

[@TheNegronomicon]

Remember her Leela costume in the Halloween episode? Ohhhh man...

[@glitchpink]

I love that this was recommended near Christmas

[@leonfdawson]

The kid from a Christmas story grows up to be Steve Buscemi in Billy Madison.

[@vidahasselburg3841]

“These three ghosts come” “Ewwww on who?” Bahahaaaaaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[@Dorky0Dweb775]

Lol I love these sketches xD

[@kandreasworld4374]

A Christmas special that I shall watch every year.

[@mksabourinable]

I read, in a Cracked article no less, that there is nothing wrong with sleeping after getting a concussion, rest is how you heal. Yes see a doctor to make sure you haven't sustained any serious brain damage, but sleeping won't do you any harm...

[@MagWrath]

Sleep reduces bloodflow to the brain, after trauma that lack of bloodflow will cause the braincells to die. DONT SLEEP IF CONCUSSED.

[@AgentMurphy286]

Kate A lot of the articles aren't written by the Cracked staff so you have to be careful what you read on there too. Just to reiterate the safety message. DON'T SLEEP IF CONCUSSED.

[@Raccoon_Rambo]

MagWrath you can sleep while concussed you just have to be woken every hour

[@AgentMurphy286]

Brandon Dyer That's not really what we were talking about though. Yes, you can take quick cat naps when you're concussed, but you shouldn't anyway. Brandon, telling people they can sleep while they're concussed (but meaning that they can take naps) is very reckless and misleading. I'm all for being accurate with information, but you're not helping. It's ultimately safer to tell people they shouldn't sleep when they are concussed.

[@Raccoon_Rambo]

I have had concussions and they can last a week to month, so your saying no sleep for at least 2 weeks

[@unclefeelyhands]

i love after hours, best videos out of all the cracked list

[@samuelyoung1]

THEY MISSED IT!!!!!! they missed White Christmas! I will cover it for them. White Christmas is terrifying because, well, its the hallucination of a dying man. they would never be able to pull off those stunts irl, and all those women? people he had seen back in the states. same with the men. its the life flashing before his eyes in the brief moments before he dies, having failed at his dream. and not only that but when you see the papers and other notices of the war ending, you never see the pictures of the dancing in the streets or the sailor kissing the girl or the atomic bombs dropping on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. we can take from what we see in the film either we developed the bomb later on in the war, or not at all. did you see the dates on the notifications when the war ended? 1946. the Nazi's were working on the bomb before us, we just had more and smarter scientists. in this timeline, the Nazi's likely developed the atomic bomb first. in our timeline, it was predicted they would have had the atomic bomb in 1946-1947. the Nazi's had planned on using the atomic bomb in Europe, then America if we didn't submit, then everywhere else that did not submit. the Nazi's didn't know about nuclear winter so they would have destroyed the earth. therefore in the White Christmas movie's timeline, there was, most likely, a white Christmas due to nuclear winter. the dying man had it lucky. the whole world most likely became a post-nuclear apocalyptic hellhole in a nuclear winter for who knows how long. we saw the best future for the world they portrayed, but most likely it turned out to be a hellish place full of pain, sorrow, hate, and wrath.

[@reythejediladyviajakku6078]

Favorite line here “ you’re talking a lot of trash pregame “ Katie is hilarious

[@Sai4651]

I don't know. I felt Dan won that one.

[@ExpletoryPenguin]

Dan, you tore apart a Christmas story in a way only you can. That should've just been its own O.P.C.D. episode.

[@Vordt_]

I get where your coming from about the grinch. But Dr.Seuss said the grinch is a who. Just a really really angry one.

[@Moocow2003]

Just checked the book, and it hints at the Grinch being an angry Who quite a lot of times; but I think the movie said he was a What, because no other Whos had colourful full-body hair and a cat nose.

[@Vordt_]

I think it was in the animated movie so if you look at that maybe youll get a better answer

[@Moocow2003]

jason mallalieu Oh yeah, the animated one! I think that he is a Who in that.

[@faeryfirefly]

You guys need more after hours videos. It's the ONLY content I watch from Cracked...

[@laserwolf65]

Sorry, but you guys really were grasping at straws for this one.

[@ganjjabarsmedium2347]

After Hours is one of the closest things to home I will ever be able to articulate 🙌

[@TheEllarby]

finally lol

[@bronny7074]

Soren- "3 ghosts come" Michael- "ew on who" LMFAO

[@mattparker9726]

I don't care who Katie looks like. Uber hottie!

[@blueskybelyr]

LOL, the disappointment on Dan's face at 0:20