Remove Mental Blocks to Earn The Income That's Needed and Fair

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It’s time we talked about the wounds of trauma in your childhood and how they block you from earning sufficient and fair income (even though you are capable of it). Underearning is common for people who grew up neglected or abused. The longer you underearn, the more you risk the freedom to build a stable, secure life and meet your material needs at last. In this video I'll teach you the signs of underearning, and what to do to change this trauma-driven pattern and flourish financially.
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[@PJWorthy]

Thank you, Anna. I’m 56 years old and for the FIRST, first time in my life YOU, a stranger to me, have validated me. You have validated me. I feel relief, sadness, empowerment, hope, understanding, compassion and more words that I can’t even think of now. Thank you, Thank You, Thank You.

[@MsCyberNewt]

I also am 56! And I also have struggled with underearning my entire life- and still do. I am ready to earn what I need to earn to THRIVE- at the moment, I don't earn enough to even survive so each month is a struggle to just pay bills and I have credit card debt too since I had to live on those for a time. Thanks for all you do Anna and Thanks to PollyJo too- because sometimes I feel like I am "too old" to heal!

[@susanbothwell2234]

Reading your beautiful, well written reply to this video, expressed my feelings and internal battle and thoughts absolutely perfectly. OMG, there are others out there who feel these feelings too, who have gained strength, right this very moment, after watching this video. I, too, have this sudden burst of hope that I could possibly turn things around in my life, building a better existence for myself & my boys. I've NEVER, EVER, EVER found ANYONE out there who's talked to this detailed level about this topic. I've always felt alone, unable to understand WHY I have such fear of failure and why I always underestimate, under-earn and think im not worthy of great things, but everyone else is. I've taken jobs where, subconsciously, I can perform under my potential and make little, but I feel safe. The safety is directly related to my fear of failure. I'm so fearful of having too many "overwhelming/stressful" responsibilities in any higher paying position, that I could potentially fail at, that I downplay myself and never challenge myself and never step into the unknown, in order to earn better. So rarely validated in my life, always questioned & challenged about any of the choices and decisions I've made, told I've made mistakes and made to feel badly, has absolutely stunted and scarred me. I'm 55 now, and here I am ... living & navigating as a wounded, invalidated and dumbed down little girl. That IS about to change. Thank you Anna, from the bottom of my heart.

[@nhanson5691]

At 45, I spent all my money to became a massage therapist. I found I was really good at it in school, so I decided to make enough to just do that. At 73, I’m still full time but take a week’s vacation every 5 weeks with two interns. I’m out of debt and live alone. It was tough in the beginning. I lived in a tiny apartment and got rid of 70% of my stuff, but focus really helped. I just never wanted to work FOR anyone ever again, so I took the responsibility to sacrifice to get where I am. I never thought when I was 45 that I could be this successful. Trusting in myself really helped. All of Anna’s advice is amazing! All the stuff that I learned, I learned the hard way. She’s a great guide and she truly knows what she’s talking about. Good luck.

[@RH-ds4wk]

I'm in my 50s, too, never too late for us to change how we feel about ourselves and our worth!

[@DivineTimingMeditations]

I understand your comment on such a deep level. The irony is not lost that your handle is "Worthy" - because you are. May you find that unwavering internal voice that champions you to every single day. We win when the inside voice is stronger than the outside voices.

[@kimbess7498]

I want to share something. I was living in a not-so-great-area. I started doing deliveries in a nicer area. I managed to move to that area within a year. Put yourself in intended environments. Eventually they will become your new normal. Thank you for this video ☀️

[@EstrellaO-2023]

wao

[@LoStone1981]

"Put your in intended environments." 💯

[@formichedappertutto]

👍🫶🏼🌷

[@cathihargaden1608]

agreed - that is why I have been teaching feng shui - change the space you live in so the vibration matches where it is you want to go.

[@mgraulau]

Underearning and feeling like crap all the time while overspending to buy crap to make myself feel better for a little while.

[@HappyCat1111]

I haven’t been paid what I’m worth because I never thought I was worth anything. Also, growing up poor meant nobody taught me financial literacy. 48 and finally learning now.

[@SirenaSpades]

I think your comment sums it up for us.

[@sarasoda7442]

😳😢 felt that

[@Happyheretic2308]

Same here

[@leif54]

Similar story, I started learning literacy in my mid thirties, but I felt I was not worth any money, I just understood the system. The emotionally barrier still needs to go away.

[@TeknoMediumsParanormal1111]

I came from a family with money. I was so called illegitimate, so from the get go I was "less than". My son doesn't speak to me because he feels I didn't try harder. This has relieved me of that burden. At 64, Thank you so much for this. 😢

[@connorholmes8786]

“I was mad, but I didn’t act - for a long time - and then I did, and the problem was solved” GOLDEN ⭐️

[@WriteMeASong7]

Yup that’s me. I was in a job 6 years, same job, same seat, had so many different co workers come and go around me… while I sat in my little soul crushing cubicle, doing a ton of work for practically nothing. Never felt I was worthy of anything better. It wasn’t until I started meditating daily and telling myself I’m worthy. That’s when I applied for a different position and actually got the job. Self talk is important. It’ll make or break you.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@bell5338]

Do you have any tips on how to feel less silly with positive talk or did you just lean into it until you believed it yourself because these affirmations make me feel awful lol

[@WriteMeASong7]

@@bell5338 that’s a great question! I know exactly what you’re referring to feeling silly with positive talk. I felt RIDICULOUS at first. I’m like ew I can’t believe I just said “I’m worth it” lol Sounded so fake, so rehearsed, not genuine at all. But, over time I started to believe it. This goes for many other affirmations such as “I’m confident” “I’m worthy of love” etc etc.. If you say it enough when you’re in a good mental space, when your energy is calm and clear, your subconscious will listen and believe you. Also, keep this in mind.. if you don’t say all those wonderful things about yourself, then who will? You have to flip the script and start telling yourself beautiful wonderful things and the reason it feels silly and fake is because we don’t tell ourselves enough of the good things, and that’s so sad to me. So basically, fake it till you make it. It’ll feel silly at first but you must also believe what you’re saying. If you don’t believe it to be true right now, then you have to believe you will feel that way over time. Give it a month, say your affirmations daily, do the super uncomfortable thing and look yourself in the mirror and either think those things or say them out loud. Do it until it’s no longer uncomfortable. It’s only uncomfortable because we don’t say or think or believe good things about ourselves. Make your brain believe you ♥️♥️

[@bell5338]

@@WriteMeASong7 I'm definitely going to jeep going! Thanks for such a thoughtful response. I'm glad the effort has paid off for you!

[@rickturnr]

Some employers purposely try to hire people with low self esteem because they know they will work cheap and not complain

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Luckily, we each have agency to make choices. Healing means we learn to choose our work, regardless of what other people think or do.

[@Drewbius333]

Most employers.

[@pulidobl]

THIS

[@WakingDreamCurrents]

This topic should go mainstream as I have struggled with this most of my life and still do. As a creative, it is significantly more challenging as we are highly empathic people. People pleasing and boundaries around that is SO HARD. Thank you, Anna. I'm so grateful for your videos. 💕

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing! Glad you're here! Nika@TeamFairy

[@mel3256]

It is common with woman as woman are socialized to earn less and have low self esteem

[@who_we_are______5926]

I agree, it's tough to survive when we want to be genuine around fake individuals...

[@tracya.schneider7698]

I am a creative too...feeling that vagueness fir a lot of my life and definitely not earning consistently to feel like I have a stable life.

[@4Mikes4Mindset4]

​@@who_we_are______5926I completely get that

[@MrTwinkieeater]

I earned $80k in a year. I earned it to escape my trauma and only found more. I started my own business and brought home $16k this year since May. I've never been happier.

[@y_yy_2844]

I also think this is a good path for many people. It's one thing to deal with a customer directly. It's a whole other can of worms to work for someone else skimming a profit off of the work you do for customers. The latter are prone to be abusive to you for nothing but their own benefit.

[@MrTwinkieeater]

I didn't really have a problem working for someone. What I had a problem with was the bosses having no accountability, coming to work drunk, blame shifting, etc. They just weren't good people.

[@amenehaileselasse3963]

At the age 49, through this video, I learned my underearning was related to my traumatic childhood. Thank you Anna for I might have a couple of ten years to earn fairly.

[@CareBlair222]

Im 39 and have always struggled with earning. My mom depended on my dad alot financially. She couldnt hold a job down due to her alcoholism and denial. I never really understood how to better myself and improve my life financially. My future never occurred to me due to fight or flight mode. I was always so stricken with low self esteem and bad communication skills. I been trying to love myself and assert myself. I got hired at a school district and back in school trying to overcome my math struggles. I have 3 kids. I want to provide a better life for them.

[@matrescence_motherhood]

Right. People in trauma don’t think about their future

[@Here4TheHeckOfIt]

It's difficult to think of the future when you're trying to survive day-to-day. It sounds like you've dealt with this and are finally in a place to think beyond this. I never really understood what being privileged meant, which I guess is just being able to think of life beyond simply surviving.

[@SKY-wt2pp]

I hope you succeed

[@neenasgarden]

I REALLY needed this. The problems in my life go deeper than just under-earning, but thanks to you, Anna, I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. Bad marriage, self-sabotage, and 30+ years of being in constant fight-or-flight due to said marriage, and more. Going to listen to this again and take notes. Thank you. ❤❤❤

[@Innateworth]

This video is also helping me do some deep reflecting too 🫶🙏

[@fatherburning358]

My journey is very close to yours. Only recently sober after drinking(medicating) since my teens, 50s now. I'm on track, healing at a rapid pace but I started building up ro it around 30. Self value and kindness my number one priority now. 👍

[@beckycracraft3438]

Thank you for sharing, giving hope to others and exampling your growth! Keep shining your light to the world 👏👏

[@evelynspaghetti4978]

Me too hunny. I have been holding resentments and making excuses and living in the trauma (despite doing ALOT of work on myself) and I needed it to. We can make change as of right now, love you

[@talulatree5297]

I had no idea there were this many people in same boat.😢

[@amberinthemist7912]

I wasn't ever allowed to be more successful than my parents growing up. If I had any success, I was met with subtle sabotage and passive aggressive verbal abuse. "Congratulations on finally succeeding I hardly recognize you" is my mother's favorite compliment. I learned to play small early on to survive. I'm now struggling to go low contact with my parents and actually focus on my financial success. It's hard to get out of your own way sometimes.

[@29aaronjones]

I hear you on that ! Family can be toxic with judgemental nonsense. "I barely recognize you with self worth and success" wow. That days alot about the person saying that. If you break free of oppression, never look back. You are living your best life now

[@29aaronjones]

*says alot

[@garthneumann9375]

"a sense of vagueness" - That's exactly how I feel about my work, relationship and in terms of what I actually want out of life. Thank you for explaining how I often feel, because I have trouble expressing and/or even knowing how it is I feel a lot of the time.

[@sheaballard3022]

That last bit really resonated with me. I’m always worried people are going to be mad at me, and I do all these people-pleasing behaviors to keep on others’ good side.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for sharing! If you're interested, try the Daily Practice: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice It can help you connect with yourself, which in turn will help you save yourself instead of serving others. Nika@TeamFairy

[@tonyjones1560]

I’m nearly 61, a disabled combat veteran and looking at getting a masters degree (mostly because I won’t have to pay for it LOL). I’ve probably got enough psychological issues that self-employment might be best for me. I needed to see this video. Thanks for it!

[@rebeccamartin2399]

Thank You for your service sir and best of luck to you!😊

[@emilyb5557]

Good luck & thank you ❤

[@lizschneider9612]

Sometimes I watch your videos so I can understand how to heal from CPTSD, but sometimes I watch them to see how far I've come and how many behaviors I've already changed on my own. Thank you so much for everything you do

[@kellyaherne5306]

Thank you❤❤ I accidentally discovered I had cptsd from watching your utube channel and was utterly thrilled to learn I could be “fixed” Before Christmas I finally left a terrible home situation to start all over again -just myself and my little dog -and naturally I immediately managed to lose my crappy temping job and jeopardise my ability to pay rent and maintain my new independence and freedom… I arrived home today trying to not be too distressed / devastated by all this and instead set about trying to convince myself I’d be fine if I went back working for myself again providing bookkeeping and administrative services (which I am exceptionally good at but not so great with the pricing) I inadvertently came across your video on underearning and I am 3/4 way through it and I now am confident I am going to be ok I believe I can do it What an amazing feeling ❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You got this! Good luck! Nika@TeamFairy

[@ljc3484]

Thank you so much for this. I avoided this video for almost a week now, such a painful, shameful & complex topic. I’m thinking some can relate here, always feeling stuck & wrong & just trying to survive rather than thrive/live…and knowing the problem is something in me but not knowing what it is or how to fix it. One of the most painful things is getting together with family or friends and having to do the recap but being stuck in the same place as not only last year but 10+ years ago. Feeling like a failure or loser but not being able to fix it. And yes, feeling resentful because these friends or cousins aren’t “broken “ like me and that doesn’t seem fair. One big thing difference seems to come down to the neglect & being raised by equally broken people. My siblings & I were not taught how to survive out in the world, in fact in terms of employment the feeling was “ just be happy they give you any kind of job “ but then remember to be careful that they don’t take advantage, but they’re still saints cuz they LET you work for them.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for watching. Glad you are here. Nika@TeamFairy

[@EMVelez]

You’re not alone. I can definitely relate.

[@kiritk1801]

Seriously ur not alone stuck from past thirteen years in addition to this if we are in spirituality...people don't understand these basic terms too...only know to ask what you do as a job. I had no answers. Thanku for sharing. May God bless u❤️❤️🙏🙏

[@boomboom1258]

Before I even continue watching this video, I just wanna thank you Anna for making this video because I do think I have not been able to truly see what I deserve in terms of how much I can earn as a 29 year old English speaking and educated law degree holder with various strengths & skills. I didn't think trauma would also affect how I see my worth in terms being in the employment market. Thankful that I am learning this now before it's too late.

[@user-lg3rx2ko5g]

It's like I wrote this lol.. thanks for sharing. Same boat, education and age exactly, and idk why I do this to myself bc eventually I know it will bite me. I've always made ends meet but never had abundance or real cushion. It's almost like I underearn out of spite. I have so much to offer yet it feels like a trap to excel. Ugh.

[@rogrdfs]

Amazing this popped up on my feed. At age 63 it recently dawned on me I spent most of my life working for approval far more than anything else. The amateur psychologist in me understands my attitude came directly from the family dynamic when growing up. Don’t make the same mistake (easier said then done). 🙏🏻

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing this, we're so glad you're here :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@SorVanna]

I'm a talented dancer and musician who decided to become a dentist (also talented), learned 5 languages, thought that would put me in a better financial position, but still barely make rent. As I heal I do better, but at 43, it just doesn't add up. Thank you for shining the light on this topic.

[@colettespencer3357]

I thought dentist's are high earners. Sorry for the struggle!

[@DivestedChristian]

Thank you for this! I think this is part of the 'privilege' they talk about. Poor parents are too busy trying to survive they won't teach their kids to thrive.

[@CareBlair222]

I'm poor and teach my kids to thrive. Not all poor people act the same.

[@down-to-earth-mystery-school]

My low-income earning parents taught me many valuable things about life, but they couldn’t teach me financial literacy, because they didn’t know themselves.

[@Bucephalus84]

I grew up in a financially thriving household and was never taught those things either.

[@CareBlair222]

@@Bucephalus84 exactly. Many rich parents just buy their kids stuff without really teaching them how to earn.

[@mariekuijkenhistoricallyaw2598]

Never learned a thing about it either

[@faln2pieces]

This came at just the right time for me. I was speaking with my therapist today and my father yesterday about the ways I want to move forward and shift my career and lifestyle. I need this to stop being vague and theoretical, and I need to take concrete steps to do what I want. I can’t leave others in charge of my life.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You got this! We're all rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@Here4TheHeckOfIt]

That's the hard part. What plans can you make when you're uncertain yourself? I'm in this dilemma right now. NOTHING makes sense.

[@inglestherightway]

I am watching this in installments because it is too painful to aknowledge and to face. Just too painful. We've been undermined and sabotaged from the cradle, at least I have. It's just too painful.

[@debbieochoa8525]

Anna, one of the best podcasts I've heard! You touched on a lot of what I'm going through. I quit my well paying job to move out of state to CA in order to help with elderly dad. I was under the impression that family would help, but didn't happen. I lost a large part of my income and dealt with bad behavior from family. Your podcast gave me hope and information/push of what I need to do to make it better. Huge Thank you! 🫂🙋‍♀️💕

[@imperialdagger]

Sent my mom (rip) a Large monthly check for many years. Eventually no longer had the money to do so. I thought “ok my brother and sister will take over now. ZERO

[@RH-ds4wk]

Hi, your comment rings so many bells, have huge sympathy for you. I moved to care for my mum last year, the same year as I lost my work - and left my home of 15 years. It's a LOT of upheaval, great that you're looking out resources for processing it. I hope you are giving yourself plenty of credit and recognition for what you're doing. I feel as though I've been plunged back into the crucible of my childhood and had my income taken away! I feel closer to mum than ever before because she's so vulnerable, so in some ways it's very healing, but another family member is pretty hostile and it makes daily life tricky as all hell. Very best of luck to you in the good thing you're doing. I suppose the silver lining is that we're getting the opportunity that few do to process old hurts and perhaps understand ourselves and why we are as we are. I have compassion now not just for mum but increasingly for the child I was and who I am now. All the very best to you and your dad.

[@nickibanks5185]

OMG 😯.... exactly the same story/situation for me.... I'm having to start again @ 50 literally homeless after spending nine months renovating parents house so they could sell it & move into new villa in retirement village. I stayed after sale too. They moved out of the house before settlement day of big family home & cleaned out cupboards and draws old furniture that they had horded for years & made no attempt to go through & clear out. I used all my savings to be able to stay there also buying my own food etc. haven't spoken or heard from them since. I'd left a job that was all consuming of my time to do this so had to get rid of my stuff I'd owned & accommodation. They don't care. Now in a physically hard job with minimal wage & come into it with probably too much appreciation for the job like I was desperate & grateful for being given the chance. I work my ass off never for a second standing around doin nothing. Even when quiet and everyone else is on their pH looking social media. I'm cleaning or doing something. They now treat me less valued than in the beginning. I'm a good worker and I know it but...yet I still doubt that I'm good enough 🤔 All the best for your own journey going forward. I hope you don't accept less than in any area of your life🍀🌈✌️

[@gabrielle2dream559]

​@@imperialdaggeri have a similar story

[@lisaanndavis3289]

ME TOO! Only I moved FROM CA to NC. My dad balks at paying my bills, even though he agreed to do so before I made the move. HE KNOWS HE CAN'T DO WITHOUT ME! Yet, when I asked him for $1000, per month, which comes out to $6.25 an hour (my overhead is low because I live in the house) He thinks I am going to put him in the poor house. My credit is suffering now because I struggle to pay my bills - moving expenses to get here.

[@johnbyerlein6682]

Will listen to your ideas carefully and thoughtfully. I have nothing but deep hatred towards church, school, family & innumerable therapists who led me astray with teachings that kept me poor and marinated in shame/low self-esteem. I was never taught how to succeed in my life. I NEVER learned that I mattered to anyone and when I sought out effective help in therapy or mentors, many people turned their back on me. I was often blamed for any personal failures and while I am getting effective help NOW at 68 for the first time in my life as a man with an ASD, I no longer listen to or value 'traditional' teachings of society and employers. Anna, I am glad to have your wisdom in my life - would have loved to have had your wisdom in my life 30 years ago. Thanks!!

[@Melissa-qu4wl]

what happened with your therapists?

[@johnbyerlein6682]

​​@@Melissa-qu4wlmany just wasted my time teaching me to accept my life without helping me strategically improve my life. No therapist ever asked me, "John, how would you define a successful life for you? How much money would you like to be earning? I want to help you achieve your goals. Let's get started!" I never felt inspired or confident from any therapist that I could make any positive enduring improvements in my life. Therapy was too often a waste of my time and money.

[@sharonhunter142]

I am now in my early 60's and I am just starting to understand the consequences of a crappy childhood. There is so much to overcome.

[@leannegolan]

@@johnbyerlein6682 Thank you for sharing that, John. It's a confirmation of what I want to do with my life as a coach and someone who needed this kind of encouragement in my own life. I also experienced the toxicity of religion (not God's fault or doing, but the wounded, broken people in the church who wounded me). I'm so sorry for what you went through and can I just say, YOU MATTER. Very much. I hope you can release the past (I like to picture it going into a garbage bag and out with the trash), ask yourself those questions right now, and be your own advocate for a better life, starting today. I, and others in this community truly care!

[@tyrijoyner749]

So beautiful to see our potential when science and intuition coexist not in spite of each other, but instead to validate eachother.

[@jds0981]

Thank you for this video. My childhood trauma is steeped around the fear of financial insecurity, My mother grew up brutally poor and my father was a compulsive gambler. Over the last ten years I've done most things on your list. I'm positioned to make what I need to make to feel secure, pay my taxes (I'm self-employed and I've really blown this part), pay off debts, and start saving. The only missing part is putting the hours in. The "no money, no mission" is super helpful.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Yay! It’s so good to hear success stories like this! Nika@TeamFairy

[@ollieewin4757]

Yes I’m the past I have quite often destroyed a good job because I just simply thought I will probably fuck it up eventually so while bother actually doing my best and then I would do something dumb and not truly appreciate the opportunity Now I’ve started mediation again I can stay focused on staying in alignment when the habit to sabotage comes up Also I’ve got some comedy skits about self sabotage on my channel that you might like too 😈💥🔥🏋️‍♀️💪

[@zaidagrace2263]

I stayed in a job where I was constantly dismissed, devalued, disrespected and was oblivious to it. I didn't wake up until I saw someone harmed due to the company's callousness and incompetence. It made me angry and sick and finally gave me the courage to never return. Growing up in a household of abuse and neglect, sometimes I still can't tell when I am being abused. I'm like a frog in boiling water. Oblivious to the water heating up around me.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for watching and sharing your experience. Daily Practice can help sort through things that feel confusing. You can try it free here: bit.ly/CCF_DailyPractice Nika@TeamFairy

[@Foxyexrn]

This is so true. My issues was compounded because at age 13 my ‘ mother’ ran off with another man. It left my dad and young sisters ( aged 5 , 7, and 10 years old) bereft. I was 13 so considered ‘mature’ . I took on the role of housewife and mother. I behaved older and I became older and fast. As the ‘ mother’ ran off with a rich older man ....I hated money. I thought of it as selfish and dirty as she’d spent the household budget on herself. We on the other hand, had very little. It’s taken me 2 decades to understand this. I’m having to make up for lost time and at last I will have the life I east rather than the life I tolerate. God bless all of us who struggle with this. It’s cruelty beyond words. But the members of mothers ‘family’ , her brother in fact, just shrugged their shoulders and said, “ it’s the children who suffer in divorce”. WTH? 🤔😢

[@elenamanoli5728]

i know a lot of people with money problem, but i dont see the trauma as a cause of their poverty. i see the greed the cause of that. i love your work❤❤❤❤

[@mel3256]

Alot of this applies to women in general. Our society has socialized women to be seen as less valuable and to take less then men in theworkplace, and also to have low self esteem or self worth.

[@goldmidwest]

I'm a man and literally every single numbered reason in this video applied to me. Our society has also socialized women to believe it's okay (and in fact, within their right, really) to devastate & annihilate using the legal system & family law. Women have been socialized to initiate divorces (which they do with overwhelming frequency) and to wield the power of the state to destroy other's lives (which they do with overwhelming frequency)

[@vickimann3262]

​@@goldmidwestIt works both ways

[@emilysmith2965]

You know, as a man, you don’t have to make everything about you when women speak up. It IS harder. The level of conditioning IS worse - partly because of men like you who can’t pass up a chance to be invalidating. Of course men can still go through financial hardships. The difference is whether it’s individual circumstance vs being deeply systemic. Please at least attempt to respect that.

[@AurielArts]

Imposter Syndrome is also a huge force in under-earning from trauma. You have value and belong where that value is, but if it was mirrored to you that it was not of value in childhood (school, work, relationships) it will leave you with an inaccurate view of the impact you can contribute and get fairly compensated for. People envious and insecure will also tell you to "be more humble" and "lower your prices" and "no one will pay that"... I have heard it all. It takes a leap of faith and hard work and a hell of a lot of grieving to realize you had value but were in the wrong setting and ALLOWED it based on conditioning.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing this! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@naturalgirldiy]

This is so true. I grew up being taught that having money was somehow a bad or selfish thing. In my teens when I started doing side hustles and part time jobs to pay for toiletries and clothes my parents didn't like it. Ironically if I hadn't done that, college would have been much tougher. When I started working as an intern I got paid very little but had to send money to my younger sisters cos my parents didn't give them enough pocket money for clothes and stuff. My parents where middle class and professionals and nowhere near poor, but always made us feel guilty about the little we got from them. It's affected me profoundly. Although I'm in a professional that pays very well, I always accepted low ball offers and never complained. I've always thought I didn't deserve to have a nice paying job despite being told how good I was at my job.

[@CoMorbiditty]

Spot on Anna. lm so sick of being poor. lve been in this position all my life... except when l was childless and nursing in the 1980s. l have three kids living with me, one works. lve never been on a vacation. l work and didnt realize the job I do pays so little. The hours are less than usual jobs which l need for at least one of my children. l cant ask for a raise... l work for the government.

[@MissShembre]

Please find a better paying job

[@EsmereldaPea]

I need to watch this every day for a month. Your advice is spot on for this 62-year-old talented, intelligent woman recently Dxed with ADHD who has struggled all her life. I'm working (crossed out "trying" - I'm not trying, I'm DOING it) to pick up the pieces once again. I have mad skills in several tech and creative areas but have never been able to port that into a stable career and income. Being on ADHD meds and learning my struggles have NOT been because I'm stupid, lazy, or selfish as my family has told me over the years has made a world of difference. And your videos have built on all of the hard work I've been doing in therapy. Thank you thank you thank you!! I have a couple of goals, including starting my own KZbin channel.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You got this! We're all rooting for you. -Calista@TeamFairy

[@alaskan6384]

This is literally the best video (KZbin Channel) I've watched about getting past mental blocks and improving your life. I've actually saved it to watch again, and probably again. It even feels like a pep talk. Thank you universe.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm so glad it was helpful! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@alaskan6384]

@@CrappyChildhoodFairy Truly amazing content!

[@onelife9390]

Synchronicity led me here today, new follower. Thank you so much for your insightful thought-provoking presentation.

[@Marysiewert]

The light at the end of the tunnel! We all are blessed by your beautiful mind.

[@LydellAaron]

Like how you combined entrepreneurialism and business, linked to underearning. I've been feeling that people won't pay for my service--negative talk.

[@genericname9024]

This was me until very recently! I think my company even knew this, because the moment I brought it up, a promotion and raise suddenly happened very quickly. Self-advocacy is incredibly powerful, but it's not something that comes naturally or easily to people who grew up feeling worthless.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for sharing this! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@JulioCesarZermenoLotina-vl6jp]

You are an authentic therapist. You see the root of our trauma.

[@trishmcelderry4762]

This is a great topic and sorely needed because it is so under discussed. Income is absolutely a part of mental health. I have only seen this discussed one other time by someone who addressed it in a Tedex talk. I saved it somewhere. The speaker said that kids who have their self-esteem and self confidence destroyed while growing up it follows them into being under and unemployed. This is an important part of treating patients in a wholistic manner. Keep raising this subject. Thank you. At end of the video you mentioned the organization Under Earners Anonymous, he was the person that did the Tedex talk. First time I ever hearding anyone talk about this is when I saw him. Thanks again. 😊

[@OhPleaseMary]

I have been in business for myself for 30 years - and it's funny, Anna, but the jobs I did out of the goodness of my heart - for lower price or even free - are the jobs where I recall my clients being the LEAST grateful. I'm glad you mentioned that, because it's always puzzled me how, the people who were literally GIFTED my services, weren't nearly as appreciative as the clients I charged full price - but, I get it now! Makes sense.

[@aliciastewart3037]

In the beginning stages of women of color being held back because societies view of us not being worty of an appropriate pay, this is a blessing. Taraji P. Henson's twstimony of fair wages for women of color is a true testiment to this video. Her settling and haggling for an "acceptable" pay for her years of work 😢was heart breaking 💔. I'm in the process of now finding the words for the pay I requested for a position that gives you the opportunity to ask for it! This cideo was a God send!!

[@alexandrasky4952]

Thank you so much for this video! I actually grew up in a family that has money, but my parents were both super depressed. My father was distant and my mother was emotionally dependent on me. It was so draining on me, but as a kid I didn’t understand that. I was told I was mean or spoiled if I ever expressed my feelings. I can tell you that money definitely doesn’t solve all problems! Since my life looked nice on the outside I never gave myself permission to feel my emotions and process the trauma. Only now as an adult am I realizing that it actually was traumatic. I actually always excel at whatever I do at first, and then somehow sabotage it. And I always run out of money. I could never really understand why that kept happening. No matter how much I earn, it was never enough. And what’s interesting is that I don’t even buy fancy things or take trips! I was like, where is the money even going? But after watching this video it makes so much sense. It’s about not taking care of myself! Feeling like I don’t deserve it, like I’m a “bad” person for wanting to care for, and express myself. It’s so interesting! I actually started crying while watching this video. I released something I didn’t even realize was there. I am so excited to move forward from this understanding. Thank you SO much! 🙏🏻

[@inaadil]

Was waiting for these videos so much, gonna listen them slowly, pause, reflect and listen again and again. Thank you so much. There are coaches who talk about budgeting, money, financial independence, but no one talks about trauma and money . This is why I will be back to you, Anna ❤

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thanks for being a part of our community here! Nika@TeamFairy

[@zhaystyle]

THIS video IS A GODSEND! There is a HUGE need for content on this subject/mentality. I now have language for the blocks and effects of limiting beliefs and faux pas around money I was experiencing & Your transparency in this video has help free me today as I have heard so many family members and friends and teachers say some of the same negative things and I couldn’t quite put my finger on how I kept getting into similar patterns no matter how I tried to avoid it until today. THANK YOU! ❤ BIGGEST TAKEAWAYS: “It is not Greedy (consumerist, trivial, or capitalist) to take care of basic needs” & A price is a BOUNDARY that communicates POWERFULLY that you have WORTH! We decide!

[@SoLNaTaL555]

Just came across your content, this is my first video. I believe that the healing of humanity will come from passionate people, not from so called "professional" in the field... The evidence is so apparent. Thanks for your service, may you continue to provide valuable content for the healing of humanity.

[@HealthyThinkingsubstack]

Of the videos I have watched that you have produced, I am consistently impressed by the quality and depth and breath of your work. … I tried to get my mom to watch your work because it would’ve been perfect for her, but she refused.

[@mzhollewood]

I recently started a new job as a "manager in training". I have tons of experience as a manager, but obviously it's a new company so they wanted to train me... I took a bit less pay than I need. I'm supposed to get a raise within a couple weeks.(its been 3, I've also passed all training ahead of schedule). This Fri is the day I'm going to ask for the raise... wish me luck!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Good luck, you got this! -Cara@TeamFairy

[@jdhypno4980]

I'm binge-watching your videos and really resonating with so many of your points. This, right here, is an example of you working for "free" but you are doing it for the betterment of humanity. So thank you, and bless you!

[@Shann7777]

I’m so grateful to have found your channel. This is something I’ve struggled with now it’s time to work on this aspect of my life

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You got this! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@thebridgewalker2129]

Thank you for speaking on this fundamental issue! It’s sad that many of us have to watch a video that discusses everything you spoke about instead of having the right people in our lives to impart this knowledge, but here we are - and I’m so grateful! Thank you! ❤

[@mable90shaynne]

I need to just play this over and over again until it sticks in my head.

[@th3azscorpio]

I needed to see this video this morning. I also realize that a LOT of people have this issue. A lot. I've got more work to do, but I've actually been working on this issue for a while internally. I'm getting better at recognizing the triggers, and checking these feelings, and behaviors when they surface. Fantastic video. Thank you Anna.

[@fatoumataconde1869]

This was a much needed and unexpected video. I love how you always touch every aspect when it comes to growing up with a crappy childhood. You being so many things into our awareness.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Thank you for watching and for your comment! Nika@TeamFairy

[@johna6291]

So much here I can relate to. And the reason why is because you have honestly shared your life with us, rather than just lecture omniciently. I relate to real human beings, and you, my friend, are one of them. Thank you for being open and leading by example!

[@justdawndb]

Oh Anna, I've just gotta say you crack me up! Ive been watching your videos for a bit and not yet habit, but doing the daily practice which i do find Very helpful. I see myself in every single one of your videos, including this one. I am 65 retired and never ever valued money or myself for that matter it seems. Now that i'm where i am with this new knowledge about disregulation and a clear vision about how "dilusional" my life is what the heck do i do. I guess you would say the next thing. Well really i wanted to say how i truly appreciate the humor you add in your counseling and suggestions. I can laugh at myself and also the sad silly things others have done....when ...thanks a million for everything!

[@kimberleygaleano8044]

Wow!! This video turned on such major 💡s for me. Always been in survival mode, now I know why Thank you. Wow! I have given hours, days and weeks away for free. I had no idea that was as result of previous trauma. This video has blown my mind. Looking forward to more of your content ❤️. So healing!!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Glad it was helpful! And thank you for your comment. Nika@TeamFairy

[@thabulos]

My KZbin algorithm recommended a video of yours and I've just watched two back to back ones completely engaged! You earned a like and a subscribe from me. Keep up the good work!

[@hedgiegal3340]

My husband came from a very traumatic childhood, his mother was horrible. He has a master's degree and works as a cook at a pizza restaurant. This video describes him to a T. He has spent his whole life working in fast food. I have stayed with him but it has been very difficult. I make quadruple what he makes and I basically take care of him. I have had my own trauma, too, so I get it.

[@catmouse2882]

What is his master degree in? I would give him a deadline in regards to earning more money...because eventually you will get tired of being the breadwinner. A man who is not living in his purpose is a useless man.

[@rileahangelaweston]

Why marry him? Geez

[@goldeegreene5023]

Thanks so much, dear Anna. Now for the first time I am starting to see why I've never made enough $$ to support myself...

[@menuchahats6760]

I had a friend who was afraid to talk to me about this, fearing to affend me!!! That's how obvious my situation is to outsiders, who know how to live life better than some of us suffering and not recognising it😮. So I forwarded you, to my nesrest and dearest, my siblings, my husband , and my adult children . Every so often we get a wake up call, but our progress depends if we answer that call!!!

[@mindyreid5229]

Thank you this explains a lot of my Way of thinking about what I am worth. I am stuck in my head and at 62 I live from pay check to pay check but I need to go outside my comfort zone so I can get the funds I need to retire. You have opened my eyes to brainstorm what I can do to get more than enough money to have savings.

[@kellybrightsatty7521]

I had to recently learn to tell myself it was OK to throw something away. It wasn't anything earth shattering but I'd developed the habit of saving things that could be repurposed, reused or repaired for years yet those items were collecting dust in my home. I knew I didn't have to keep them but I finally said OK throw it away and I was free from that clutter!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Great work. That’s what healing looks like. Nika@TeamFairy

[@michellegirau8136]

I'm currently working for free with a masters degree. My internship was working for free and I though once I graduated and became licensed i would get paid something. I asked her about pay and she has no attention in paying me. She also got mad when I told her I had a different job I'm about to start.

[@MissShembre]

Congrats on the new job!

[@Evilushka]

Congrats on the new job. I recently finally got the raise and respect I needed at my new job. My last boss micromanaged me in such a disrespectful way and is a textbook workaholic. My new manager is female and has fostered a healthier work/life balance and my new coworkers are great. But most of all, I’ve ditched the paperwork and tedium of my previous position and am actually finally doing what it said I was doing on paper. It was nice to leave with half the commute and double the money. Believe in your worth and the rest will fall into place. I was anxious and nervous even talking to people. I feel like a different person. Respected as a professional, finally.

[@louisegeorge9501]

Thank you for this. I’m almost 55yrs old and really needed this encouragement and guidance right now. Hoping there is still time for me to turn some things around! 😅

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

You got this! We're all rooting for you :) -Calista@TeamFairy

[@JustinJohn-j4r]

You really hit the mark with this one. Eye opening video. For everyone reading. Keep moving. Move laterally or in small increments but move. If youre upset about keaving your co workers. Real friends will support you and be there when you move on. Also, its great to have strong contacts in a previous job.

[@amybollana9818]

I really struggle with this so thanks for the great video. One thing I have learned about setting my prices is that if they cannot afford my price, I will consider lowering it for a modified service. One of my services is painting watercolour houses so I could offer to lower my price a little and just paint the house itself with no background trees etc. This has been a really helpful rule for me. I can still offer a service but I won't resent the job because I am doing it for less than it is worth to me.

[@MH-jp1fv]

So glad to have found your channel. You are hitting on something I’ve never heard before and I’m so grateful to learn about. You are an inspiration, thank you for being you. I know how much work it takes to go through it all and discover the original you are made to be.

[@justintime377]

OMG!!!!!! FINALLY, SOMEONE ( THE CRAPPY CHILDHOOD FA...ANGEL ) HAS THE COURAGE TO BRING IT!!! I'm only 2:18 seconds in and I must post a great big THANK YOU!! I have a feeling, your about to help so many of us out here, who are sick of "just scrapping by"❤

[@reginakruse5246]

Anna, you are wonderfull. Thank you for your committment to trauma healing. I'm now in this process of steping up financially (life is kind of forcing me to go for it) and I started putting up boundaries concerning jobs I'm willing to do and also how much I want to earn and try to be more picky but at the same time the pressure of debth and even the real danger of getting totally bankrupt and not beeing able to pay my rent any more are pushing me back into before boundaries state and I wonder if I am doing myself a favour by staying selective. Therefore I began to apply for any second job I can imagine just to stay able to pay my bills and credit rates but the companies often dont even invite me for an interview or dont give me the job after they met me because they get the sense of my boundaries and they dont want people with boundaries at these jobs 😅 so it also irritates a little and lets me question myself and is giving me this needy feeling. I dont want to sabotage my boundaries and my self worth by selling me for less than I'm worth on the one hand but also not ending up going into administration. Feel a kind of stuck

[@staciehulm4595]

I work as an instructional assistant for a public school district. I am actually qualified in the UK as a High School English teacher, but my credentials don't transfer. I have 3 children and my husband is a teacher. I didn't want to go through teacher training again at this time in life. After discovering you, I developed the gumption to confront my school district on the lackadaisical approach they take to their Instructional Assistants. I have managed to get a meeting with the Asst. Superintendent to discuss ways that this position can be more effective for students and teachers while also being more rewarding for the Inst. Assistants. Wish me luck...

[@KerryDSC]

I needed to see this today, this speaks to my heart and what I have been feeling most of my life. thank you for articulating this. I really can't work for anyone else, I just am not cut from that cloth. I have tried for the past few months working for a large company in an industry I love, but the pay is absolutely terrible and the life balance is not there. I am going to go back to working for myself again. I prefer the dangerous freedom over wage slavery

[@aimster2084]

"It's just time to advocate for yourself".... this is the part I can't do. Never could.

[@renico123]

WHAt a great video this is!!! I never heard somebody pinpoint I such a detailed way the lengths that neglect and abuse in childhood can go to. Im living this...Thank you so much Anna 🙂

[@bell5338]

IM SO GLAD SOMEONE ELSE TURNS THE PENNIES THAT FILLS ME WITH SO MUCH JOY. I super needed this lesson also, quite a lot to think about!

[@jazzmoon77]

Thanks - wonderful timing. I just quit my job because I finally felt comfortable putting boundaries in place and stood up for myself. I'm taking a little break then looking for a new role that will hopefully reflect my experience and potential. It's scary! I do tend to get paid quite well relative to most, but I have held myself back from leadership roles that would pay me significantly more.

[@ericacvl2697]

I'm 53, and I'm feeling this blockage for over an year now. I really need new forms of income, and I have several qualifications. But I feel stagnant for some reason. I plan to change this soon. Tks for this video.😊

[@lisabonanno3839]

I am so afraid to request what I need in any area of life. Only halfway through this video and I’m hoping I can learn something that will begin to turn the tide of BS I’m floating in, start to swim instead of float

[@cirelo1896]

Really interesting things here! I'm mulling it all over. I think I relate to the underearning, but I think it's not just trauma and self depreciation there is also a deep sympathy you feel for other people having to pay you for something you wouldn't be able to afford. Even if they can afford it, it's like you project yourself into their position.

[@FaCiSmFTW]

This is exactly why I felt guilty asking for a raise even though I deserved it. I thought my boss could barely afford to pay me. Also I partially didn't believe I deserved more money even though I knew I did looking at average pay for similar positions in other companies.

[@FaCiSmFTW]

But when I did finally ask he seemed surprised I didn't ask earlier lol

[@lindahilliker6020]

Yes!

[@philippa_burgess]

I needed to hear this. Thank you. I took a break to just go to grad school - no resentment - but need to transition back to earning. Tip about clarity is golden.

[@FireSilver25]

This is HUUUUUGE for me. I have my own business and my products are in demand but I just can’t bring myself to work consistently at it. It’s even fun to do a lot of the time but it feels like there’s a physical set of hands holding me back from it. Or I’ll get really stressed out of NOWHERE and get sick from the immune system crash. I wonder if it’s because I had to play small just to survive when I was little. And I wasn’t allowed to want things or get attached to toys or clothes because my abusive parents would go through my room and toss or give away whatever they wanted. I wasn’t allowed to be upset about that. It’s easier to just not have nice things to begin with. I hope I can work through this as I want to build a good retirement portfolio and get free of debt. 😢

[@MissShembre]

I totally relate about having a 'fun' job but not being able to work consistently and the health crashes. I get into a good flow, but then get overwhelmed and feel like I need to drop everything, and that feeling lasts for so long.

[@thecoldglassofwatershow]

Maybe adhd?

[@wendybmore]

Thanks for writing this. I am “trying” to start my own Etsy store and I have had such a difficult time following through. It’s fun even, like you said, but the big blocker is that I do not work on it consistently, or at all EVEN THOUGH ITS FUN. I’ve even made art for about 10 years but do nothing at all with it. I have people lining up to buy my stuff and nothing seems to help me progress. It’s like an invisible shield keeping me from my best life. I have been struggling since I’ve been breathing and I can’t take it anymore. I feel less alone and idiotic know there is others out there doing the same. Meanwhile I’ll go get a complete shit job that gives me panic attacks where I go home and cry everyday but won’t post a picture online. It’s insane! I hope we both find the peace, power and encouragement within to thrive. Good luck to you! And thank you. ❤

[@rachael3050]

You can do it 🎉 I know that feeling.

[@Practical-IT]

Wow! This was eye opening! I have got to the point I can acknowledge that I have childhood trauma, but I never connected it to the amount of money I make.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

I'm glad you found this video! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@christaj1754]

This is tragically true in my life. You are so cute on relaying info, Anna. Thx so much.

[@DrTamsin]

I need to hear every word you say, over and over again! I’m so impressed by your openness and dedication. Onward!

[@humbled_intuitive_soul]

Congratulations on your accomplishments and growth! Teamwork makes the dream work! You're so blessed and uplifting others to grow through a good cause that raises the vibration of the earth. It's beautiful. Good luck and happiness on your journey.

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

Your encouragement for the letter-writer is so valuable. Thank you for your comment. Nika@TeamFairy

[@doriodea]

Awesome! I’ve done so much healing on my trauma journey and my financial life has been the topic I’ve avoided the most. Your video has helped me incredibly…and I just asked for a raise at my part time job. THANK YOU!

[@CrappyChildhoodFairy]

That's amazing! -Calista@TeamFairy

[@awakenedsoul1368]

Am I under earning or is inflation and soaring rent prices keeping me stuck? … my job would be fine if my rent wasn’t raised $200 each year. I’ve been trying for years to find another stream of income but I can’t figure out how make it happen. I can’t figure out what I could do in the entrepreneurial space that I would be good at. Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated ❤

[@mickeymikeworth1957]

I shared this with my small business group. It is so helpful

[@TheGroundedPsychic]

This has been so watchable - and has provided the most realistic and genuinely useable insight and advice on this subject. If only the followers of the 'manifest everything you want' fraternity would listen to this instead.

[@poetryjones7946]

❤️Thank you again, so much. You’re saving Lives here, one brain at a time. 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹❤️

[@peanut924]

I noticed how sharp you look in this video with the background being blurry! You really pop.

[@mzhollewood]

Todays good luck... i gave a penny to the penny cup at the store... walked out and found a quarter! 😂❤

[@santasantinagatta]

Thank you for your offerings Anna-God bless you.

[@birdseyebetty4579]

I worked under an abusive, paranoid, heartless, boss for 7 years. I spent my whole career with him like a yo yo. I would get a promotion but then step down as the drama and long hours were too much. I eventually escaped to a lesser paying job in a lower position. I convinced myself that’s all I wanted and now two years later I’m realizing my last job robbed me of my optimism, my ambition, my drive and has set me back almost 10 years as far as my career

[@taniamatthews3058]

Yes, I’m 52 years old and I’ve been with someone for 20 years who doesn’t believe in me means me and put me down and that doesn’t push me forward and he says all the businesses you’ve started and failed. It’s not that they failed. I just never completed them because I can’t focus because I’m so busy caring for a narcissist.

[@seanwilliams6417]

Whoa 1st time I see this connection so relevant.