Jurassic Forests & Root Parasites of New Caledonia

Who was the wiseass that turned Mt. Moo into a Ben and Jerry's flavor? Have you ever been kicked in the groin while enjoying relict conifers? Who flew their plane into the side of this mountain 70 years ago? Ascend 3500 feet in the heat, sun and mosquitoes to enjoy a relict stand of Araucaria humboldtensis as well as a variety of other ancient lineages of conifers and gondwanan relicts.
Species list :
#Taeniophyllum trachypus (Orchidaceae)
#Eriaxis rigida (Orchidaceae)
#Falcatifolium taxoides (Podocarpaceae)
#Acmopyle pancheri (Podocarpaceae)
#Elaphoglossum vieillardii
#Hachettea austrocaledonica (Balanophoraceae)
Styphelia sp. (Ericaceae)
Dracophyllum sp. (Ericaceae)
Araucariaceae humboldtensis
#Araucaria laubenfelsii
Parsonsia flexuosa (Apocynaceae)
Hymenophyllum pallidum
Podocarpus sylvestris
Retrophyllum comptonii
Megastylis latissima (Orchidaceae)

[@andybaldman]

The mid--rant cutaways to a species ID never fail to make me laugh. Every single time.

[@evasartorius9528]

Intellectual whiplash

[@nonoluigi]

Comedic non sequitur, to heal himself

[@kevinfredericks1806]

is that a ficus? appears to be...

[@boa9535]

andybaldman: moments of rapture ... He’s somewhat delirious because of the **&$#ing heat and/or because of his awe of a tropical plant species.

[@snuugumz]

andybaldman Right? J: “...an’ dey truly flat don’t give a fuck as long as dose bastards got theirs, and what the shit. Makes me wanna die every time I overhear some prick yappin’ trew his pudding ring, fuck-oh, loogidat!! ‘S a little tiny drocera, a real dainty fucker...amazing. Hey, I hear dem flying foxes got huge schlongs and are apparently fond of masturbation! How bout dat?” How bout dat, indeed.

[@dove4977]

ive heard the botany guy say ultramathic rock more times than ive heard my father say i love you

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

*ultramafic. Also, "hell is full of dads". One of George Carlins best quotes.

[@newq]

He also pronounces it wrong, but I'm a geologist, so I could be safely ignored without anyone ever noticing. I'll just stand over here bring a geologist. No one will ever no. We're invisible.

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

@@newq "he pronounces it wrong.... No one will ever no (sic)" 😂 😂 😂

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

@@newq also, you're a geology STUDENT. And to bust balls over a high or low vowel is rather nit-picky 😉.

[@newq]

Damn. Well, you got me. 😭

[@planecrashcorner7283]

The huffing and puffing in high humidity and high elevation really make these videos extra special

[@rcs368]

Hard to believe this was 40 minutes. No matter how long they are, I could always watch more. Great vid as usual.

[@FullModernAlchemist]

This man just found a WWII era propeller plane in the jungle. He is officially the actual Indiana Jones.

[@snuugumz]

Full Modern Alchemist ...pssst: we named the dog Indiana.

[@fouroakfarm]

Heres an entomological crash course for ya. The insect at 32:53 is a species of parasitic wasp (incidentally on a parasitic plant)

[@fredmidtgaard5487]

Probably a Proctotrupoidea or a Braconidae. Not easy to say on these poor resolution images. I would suspect a Proctutropidae on the hunt for beetle larvae. In that case probably for Carabidae larvae hunting for herbivore beetle or fly larvae - or a Braconid going for Ciidae larvae. Would give quite a lot for clear images!

[@WayneTheSeine]

If by chance you discover a new species..... say a member of the Asteraceae family.....might I suggest "whattheshiticus"

[@kingpopaul]

There are already enough meme names, it needs to be descriptive.

[@snuugumz]

kingpopaul if descriptive is what’s required, I would suggest that which our illustrious host uses to describe the climate during this particular hike and the other hikes preceding: “Hotasballzeii”.

[@WayneTheSeine]

@@kingpopaul "blue blossom whattheshiticus"

[@WayneTheSeine]

@@Robert_McGarry_Poems Perfect :)

[@rr3dd]

It is absolutely mind-blowing the way the Balanophoraceae family mimics fungi.

[@wildbill9863]

I’m more of an invertebrate kinda guy Recently found you after getting into succulents really getting me into plants more Great video Keep em coming

[@jaredknapp8886]

Technically most angiosperms lack vetebrea... ; ]

[@Bimtavdesign]

14:20 "these mosquitoes are biting through my pants! They're like telemarketers" I LOST IT!!!! AHAHAHA YOU'RE THE BEST😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@bendaniel6245]

Love watching you flip leaves like folks here in Mississippi check horse teeth-

[@rcs368]

That's funny shit right there!

[@JoyHanford]

I click on your videos when I’m homesick. (Former Rockford, Elgin girl and South Bend, Indiana girl who moved to Northern Portugal.)Learning a lot. Cheers.

[@katiekane5247]

I lived in Marengo, went to college in Evanston & moved to N. Georgia. He almost makes me miss Illinois.

[@theboxcaradventurer1874]

It's so great you were able to make it out there to New Caledonia. Thank you for getting out there and being eaten alive while the rest of us stay home with our pricks.

[@Sumannatur]

Okay, this video has even a plane wreck that seems straight from Lost and beautiful a red velvet mite, it might be officially my favourite youtube video ever

[@matildagreene1744]

LOVE this....Love hearing your breathing...brings back memories when I could walk long distances...and was still hiking....BEFORE some dumb lady ran me off the highway while she was texting.....DON'T TEXT AND DRIVE. Sorry to insert this ...I ENJOY YOUR INCREDIBLE KNOWLEDGE OF BOTONY Thank U

[@thotimusprimeofficial273]

I (like a dumbass) severely burnt my foot and was cryin my eyes out - however this made me laugh and feel 1000x better. Thanks mate!

[@socialistguerrilla773]

wish i studied botany so i could watch your videos and pass every exam easy

[@oldairyheir]

With your alluding to Mt. Moo and ice cream, I could almost, but not quite smell the dairy air. Thanks again!

[@nonoluigi]

LOL! They speak French there, so its not “dairy air,” but “smell the derrière”.

[@imJV]

Someone gave me a 15 year old Norfolk island pine that they bought at home depot as a Christmas tree . It's about 17 feet tall and only has foliage on the top foot or so . Its beyond root bound in a 15(?) Gallon pot . I cant plant it where I live but my goal is to keep it going until I can finally put it in the ground and watch it take off . Hearing what you said about that similar tree was really good info

[@seanc6128]

I'm getting sympathetic itchiness for what that is worth. That Hachettea austrocaledonica is blowing my mind.

[@MeatGuyJ]

"Have you ever walked into something you knew was gonna suck, but you had to do it anyway?" Yeah, my 9 to 5. At least nature is a good antidote to the dimly florescent lit, blood slathered concrete floor of a butcher shop.

[@damonroberts7372]

Thank you for uploading this amazing series of videos - a botanical tour of New Caledonia has been one of my bucket-list items, now I'm more motivated than ever to see it all for myself. You may be too environmentally conscious to use a DEET-based repellent, but word of warning from an Aussie, they don't call Dengue "break-bone fever" for nothing! Hope you stay well. :)

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

Not environmentally conscious (more of a catstrophist/nihilist) just can't stand the fucking taste/smell and the fact it dissolves plastic . The picaridin stuff isn't so bad though

[@moondoggarvey4282]

Only two minutes in and once again pure stream of thought genius.

[@jerrypeppler1484]

Really interesting. I appreciate your hard work and sharing of knowledge. Mosquitoes suck.

[@elizaonthemountain3464]

I'm so glad on this one that your the guy going outside asking/answering questions. What a brutal hike. Yikes. Great vid, thanks.

[@cynergy4]

Yeah, you don't sound as fresh as usual, hahahaha! I was driving thru the car wash and they had some ornamental shrubs that because of you, I recognized as Ericaceae. Thanks for my further education. Beautiful milkweed! Nice spidey. Get urself some mosquito repellent dude! Those are some freaky ass parasites! Loved the blue fungus, how unusual!

[@cgriggsiv]

That really is a very steep Hill side you are climbing up Beautiful flowers are you are coming across

[@talanigreywolf7110]

Yes, I WAS eating. Thanks

[@MrKmoconne]

Joey. Always carry some Deet with you.Some day, you will wander into the tundra of Canada to show us the plants up there and you will need it.

[@camilleposten4735]

You are the reason why I've gotten into botany, even with my health and mobility problems. I dig the nihilistic sarcasm and strive to have the "IDGAF" attitude one day. Keep at it!

[@nonoluigi]

Thanks for the beautiful orchids, ancient trees, and the parasites that eat them! Someone should take the Chilean mountain toilet and WWII plane scraps and build a tiny house.

[@0xDEADBEEF666]

*Airplane sticking out of the ground* "Looks like somebody probably died." I fuckin lost it.

[@rainsfall2494]

Your videos are the few things that can actually being joy and happiness to my life I miss being around the forest and plants i wish i never moved to Florida its hot and full of invasive species so the native flora and fauna are being out competed

[@Irishjay-gu5pb]

Your the best, a new hero of mine, truly! I just watched your video of the trees that you "gorilla" planted...it is stupid that it has to be done on the sly. But, my question is how you get your trees to grow from seed so well??? I'm on a pretty big piece of land in central Illinois and have collected all kinds of seeds, but haven't had any luck with growing pine trees from seed. Do you have any books you could recommend? I would really appreciate any advice or info. I too am a gorilla grower in my area. I spread thousands upon thousands of Milkweed seeds in towards the end of Winter, very start of Spring. When it gets warmer I go for a walk at night throwing Sunflower seeds, Coneflowers, basically any pollinator seeds I can collect and then spread everywhere. It's hilarious watching the Sunflowers growing everywhere when everyone is scratching their heads like wtf?? It's an awesome feeling.. especially when I'm surrounded by farmers who use pesticides. :) Thanks for your videos! They are hilarious and informative, my favorite!!! ;)

[@joshhambleton90]

fantastic video mate. i watch your videos to break the monotony of my day & reset my headspace

[@jasonlukiv766]

If We were spending our last year ,2020 to 2021 on the planet before they kicked Us out???I would take my favorite music and follow You everywhere ! WHO doesn't dig nature!?

[@robertcurtin7368]

Great Video---Yap The Tropic Of Capricon In Feb. is hot and nasty in SE Brazil also

[@katherinecopelin8670]

Symbiotic. Freaking great video! Thanks so much.

[@katherinecopelin8670]

Don't eat blue shit!

[@aLfPlaysGames]

I started hyperventilating while watching this. Well done.

[@rawfromnowhere]

You can daii and you can craii as long as you reach the skaii!

[@cedar_glade5081]

Parsonsia flexuosa! dude this episode is sick hell yeah. Well all of them so far in this New Caledonia series have been sick; but, shit through some apocynaceae in there and it makes anything 20 x better.

[@TriciaWonlove]

there are actually 4 different kinds of mushrooms :D saprotrophic, mycorrhizal, parasitic, and endophytic.

[@markchinguz4401]

Any tips on identifying the type?

[@KerpooHater]

@@markchinguz4401 you can just look at what they are growing on mr. mark chungus

[@karenb4583]

Whew! Tuckered just watching. Thanks for the education! Hope your blood levels have recovered. :)

[@hyperelliptik]

I'm barely dipping my toe into the vast sea that is botany knowledge but so far from the little I know I've gotten really fascinated with mosses, ferns and conifers. Idk. The fact they're some of the most ancient forms of land-living plants, and still around today, is just really cool to think about.

[@jakedemedeiros9978]

>Telling a story about walking into a room full of 5 beautiful blonde women >is that a ficus? >anyway I just got out of there

[@gillette2801]

I have no idea what you're talking about but I love hearing you talk, hilarious.

[@PenntuckytheCrag]

Absolutely fabulous video. Thank you

[@cgriggsiv]

That is some strange messed up imagery I am seen thank you for the laugh

[@rosiecatbandit]

Can completely relate to the mosquito attack. In Fairbanks, they hover around you and wait for the exact second the deet wears off and all go in at once. Clouds just follow you waiting.

[@drix6029]

Great vid CPBBD . New Caledonia is amazing .Money shots never disappoint.

[@victorsaloum9731]

Holy shit was real long between uploads I was afraid those French park police arrested you for something really minor like yelling at the ground with a camera. I fucking love your content man. I cant wait till stickers go up again.

[@leannaerickson9745]

Fantastic! So much work you put in. What a great episode.🥰

[@2.7petabytes]

👍 I was just thinking about your videos! Lo and behold, you’ve made my day posting yet another excellent video! Thanks for the views and the amazing amounts of knowledge you possess! I’ve learned so much from watching your videos! It has piqued my interest in flora once again.

[@Flippin_Crazy]

These skeeters are killing me..but we’re almost to the top…you said that a 1/2 hr ago! You crack me up!

[@wizerd2089]

"Just another weird-ass in New Caledonia!" Love it. Thank you for suffering the mosquitoes. 💪

[@peterbernhardt5169]

Had a big disappointment about an hour ago but feel much better after this video. Thank you for the blooming Hibbertia, Hachettea and especially for the Megastylis. Sorry about the mosquitoes and heat but I was there in the April wet when those paths turned into greasy mud slides so I slipped, fell and rolled every day.

[@mitrawets]

11:15 "C'mon do your job!" love

[@vnnmurphy]

This inspirational for me. Thanks for doing this.

[@jcjensenllc]

Well done. Thanks.

[@alisonburgess345]

Fantastic video - what gorgeous flora over there! Thanks for showing it off. It’s so weird to see other Scaevolas from the Australian ones - the flowers are so distinctive!

[@mainegreengrower4209]

Cheers buddy..love the vids keep it up!..dabs up

[@f_c_k_o_f_f]

I love this content. Your channel is going to grow quick, I think. Also, you could do stand-up comedy you're so funny. I bet you're on Joe Rogan's podcast within a couple years.

[@existextinct]

I love the little beady pods so much they absolutely amaze me.

[@Sumannatur]

I discovered this marvel of a channel last week and I'm wondering how on earth the stupid youtube algorithm took so long to recommend it instead of all the non-related or already watched crap. As a foul-mouthed Italian naturalist myself, I'm enjoying these videos hugely

[@gabijones2445]

take care, and thank you.

[@craighoover1495]

Finding a plane was interesting too. Triggered that there are people that track the locations of such. My uncle was lost in New Guinea. Not sure what he was flying. Maybe I forgot. All the kids in that family were pilots. My father's Boy Scout Manual had references to airplanes and that they would soon be as common as cars. My Boy Scout Manual had references to conservation issues so I turned into a wildlife biologist/ecologist and later into other things in public health related service. I did learn to fly too. Expensive hobby that. Keep up the good work, I look forward to each upload.

[@ellium1147]

That blue mushroom is awesome!

[@chuxmix65]

Nice!

[@rambleon9280]

Wow I think I even heard the mosquitoes once

[@StarShine-Ranch]

"As long as you don't die, you'll be fine." 🤣

[@abbyz13]

The transition in dialogue at 6:20 is just wonderful. Keeps it interesting, not that the content needs it...lmao

[@rencosbjd]

great plants and scenery, but glad I'm not the one hiking

[@TriciaWonlove]

that is a massive velvet mite!! :o

[@ADVNevada]

👍 love your videos!

[@ghhg-je8wv]

This definitely happened. 13:13

[@TheEricrya]

Thank you.

[@duncanpage1556]

Excellent!🤘

[@isness1814]

Let's get a close up on Dem flowers...ohh yeeaahh

[@waskozoids]

Thank you

[@NewMessage]

It's not that I was eating while you described the smell of your rag that got me... It's that I was eating sharp cheddar cheese.

[@snuugumz]

New Message *urrrp*...christalmighty, I just puked up in my throat, just a smidge...

[@natepenn9112]

I was eating sharp cheddar as well right when he said it! We are foot cheese cousins

[@grant0617]

The other day: "there are no mahsquitoes here because de big mammal species never really made it to New Caledonia." Today: "FuKiN MasSqUiTos EVerYWheRe!!?"

[@connorfoley8114]

grant0617 invasive species prolly

[@CrimePaysButBotanyDoesnt]

Yes, invasive. Probably tiger mosquitos, the ones that transmit all the nasty diseases. Only reason they were here is feral pigs and humans. In the more remote areas they kind of disappear, it's remarkable.

[@brianballa3086]

weeeeeeeeeeeeee thank you for sharing

[@kristymc6784]

You are quite the funny man thank you I just described. This is my 2nd video watching

[@willi-fg2dh]

a couple of times you mentioned that the mosquitoes let up . . . you should review your footage to see if you can correlate those areas with a particular plant . . . maybe there's a natural (and hopefully harmless to humans) mosquito repellent to be had. also . . . thanks for another spectacular vid!

[@boboala1]

I'm just a mushroom novice, but the ones you showed with the decurrent gills 1/2 way down the stipe look like a species of Caranthellus. Rounded, vein-like and forked...now that blue guy you found: wow! I'm blown away by the kinds of colors Ma Nature puts on her plants! They can be used for pigments, art & paper can even be made from 'em! Oh, and it won't be too long now before my Ozarks back yard erupts in Chants - yummm, gonna make me some scrambled eggs with 'em...maybe with a little heavy cream & foraged leeks!

[@Skeptic2006]

That place is beautiful.

[@skychimera7631]

was watching these vids then closed my computer to go outside and look at plants and get bitten by mosquitoes myself 👍 a bug flew into my eye in the ass-sweltering heat but I feel infinitely better from having done it

[@willbennett20]

I love apocyneceae!

[@BRIANJAMESGIBB]

:) Home Despot... 'nice

[@RedactedEarth]

This needs more views wtf

[@arnoldmmbb]

buen video

[@thekingoffailure9967]

15:44 Dude just climbed a mountain bitching crudely about mosquitoes and wandered right into a studio Ghibli movie. My Neighbor Totoro.

[@calnative4904]

I feel your pain, I HATE mosquitoes, they drive me insane and the itching lasts for weeks.

[@taraldstein7165]

I love the ferns, orchids and lycopods! Seen any snails there (despite the drought)? I really appreciate being able to see these places without being eaten by mosquitos and sweating, thanks!

[@toekafrank6998]

Fun!👍💚

[@smcic]

Wow that’s a big ficus

[@JoeSmith05]

The mushroom at 25:30 is in the genus Strobilomyces, it a mycorrhizal.

[@pameladallaire]

Have you considered travelling to Northern Canada, like Baffin Island or Northwest Territories? Another wonderful video. Love the Iron rich rock.

[@TheOneWhoTubes]

I love you.

[@newmanmansell760]

Amazing plants there in the mountains. I understand about the mosquitoes, they are blood-thirsty vampires here