How Do ESTJs Compare To ESFJs?

[@ShadowQuik]

I find that ESTJs often come across as ESFJ at first because they’re affiliative. They get this “social” aspect from it that almost emulates Fe. In fact, STJs are the only affiliative thinkers, and people already have this association of thinkers with pragmaticism due to the STPs, NTPs, and NTJs. To me the giveaway sign of an ESTJ is that they don’t primarily “make you feel good” in the seemingly genuine way that ESFJs do.

[@hemen6249]

Yeah I think I sometimes come out as ESFJ and I hate that because I'm not inclined to people pleasing.

[@sandradibiaso7316]

Narcissists come across as ESFJs or ISFJs during the lovebombing stage. After locking down the supply, ESTJs show their true colors. ESTPs, ENTPs, ESTJs, ENTJs and ISTPs are narcissists.

[@maria_s3731]

@@sandradibiaso7316 i don’t think they are. Like one of my best friends is ESTJ i suppose and i’m ESFP and i’m certainly way more selfish and narcissistic than she is. Like she’s way more responsible if that make sense and less impulsive. The only thing is that she actually cares too much about her reputation and unless all my friend circle approves of her decision she won’t make it. Like she’s prone to buying and doing things just for approval(i am too but not that much). And my little sister is ISTP and she ain’t “narcissistic” like lazy Yes but not narcissistic. Most of my crushes were estps and my ex was estp and i can tell u we both “selfish”. Like me me me. He’s more brutally honest than i am. He ex bcuz he moved to another country.

[@jmeeksjr.7318]

@@sandradibiaso7316 I'm ENTP and my dad has npd and I basically promised not to be like him

[@christianwellness4363]

@@sandradibiaso7316 that's stereotyping, narcissistic behavior is more of a nurture and not nature . I've seen sfjs and stjs being very narsasictic..

[@dolfdervish8495]

Your strength in seeing it through & story telling ability for each type when they're in the grip of their less than best decisions, is amazing!

[@lizsanchirico1893]

Dolf Dervish I love your husky/malamute photo! So flippin' cute 😍 Also of course great lecture Chase lol.

[@arcadianfox8127]

"I love torturing my grandma by taking away her ability to care for me" This is one of the funniest things I've ever heard someone say.

[@Lairenzo]

I honestly think there's no issue with long videos. And as long as the topics you talk about when you go on tangents is useful then it's a good thing. That's just what I think.

[@CSJoseph]

much appreciated

[@milabellaful]

ESFJ- I was a math wiz & mostly interested in science. I have a science degree. I also was extremely passionate about music & dance since an early age. My strong points are patterns and correlations. As a kid, I was always in a book, not so much anymore but I still love to learn.

[@fantasizer8473]

You will never seem stupid to me. :)

[@maryrosenwasser1656]

Wow we are so much alike! 🥰 Also ESFJ, studied biology, was a finalist in the mathematics olympic, love music, used to dance ballet and tap dance till i was 18, still a book worm to a point that i believed i was an introvert until the mbti test

[@sirbradfordofhousejones]

Interesting point about the longevity of life- my INFP grandma lived until 75, whereas my ESFJ grandpa just celebrated his 96th birthday this weekend. I know that’s just an anecdote, but their life patterns and conclusion patterns support your analysis.

[@wonderfulrafita]

Between the ESTJ and the ESFJ, I’d identify or understand more the ESFJ. If I had to choose I’d rather feel bad than stupid. It makes sense when you say that the ESFJ is closer to a thinker. INTJ here.

[@ritchiewantschange]

hey chase your hair in this vid is really good

[@maryrosenwasser1656]

The thing about house chores is so true 😅 I'm ESFJ, hubby is ISTP, he does literally nothing in the house, doesn't even bother with throwing his dirty clothes into the laundry basket, my friends often ask me how do i agree to it Agree to it? i'm so happy about it, i get to have all his gratitude, i can make him feel guilty about it when i'm angry at him about something else, i get to organize things around the house the way i want to which is super tidy and organized (if he had to do it he will just do the bare minimum and live in chaos and filth) This is heaven for me🤩

[@hemen6249]

That was a really very distinguishing and eye opening difference which would have definitely helped viewers figure out if they were confused between ESFJ and ESTJ. I certainly am the ESTJ because I match 70% of the parameters but I actually took engineering instead of humanities due to other reasons. But ultimately I'm now learning humanities for the civil service.

[@Greg-lw4zb]

Excellent lecture. Thank you, as always!

[@broadbandtogod]

I got some trouble to understand the ESTJ. Rather convinced that my mother has that type, and the last thing she said to me seconds before I moved from home was, "Where are you going?" Me "I'm not going to live here anymore, it's to infected with negative emotions" "Well I have done nothing wrong..." Nothing... ever? I'm an INTJ and lives to please, which is rather hard with an ESTJ mother with some narcissistic features. Took me 15 years to heal from that bad behaviour. ESTJ worry about being a bad person? I haven't seen it, not one time. The protective side I have seen though, so it's not all bad.

[@astonish_injurer5598]

Didn't you listen to the video? The ESTJ fears being a bad person ie is insecure about being good, the ESFJ worries about being a bad person and fears that they're dumb ie is insecure about their intelligence.

[@AmateurEdits-u9m]

Fe demon

[@broadbandtogod]

@@AmateurEdits-u9m Thank you ^ ^ I am wiser now and understand the mbti system a lot more. It's much more likely that she's an istj, which of course is a big difference. I honestly couldn't tell you how I mixed it all up, but oh well... today I see things much more clearer. Even turns out I am an INFJ xD Repressed emotions made we answer as an INTJ the first couple of times

[@Diana-bz5op]

"You are not smart enough for me" Gooood that hurted, I´m never sharing my personality type again XX

[@13kiber]

ESFJ M here :D I had to make my own decisions and crate my goals because “you’re a man!! You should have life goals and ambition!” - but i just wanna help people ... so my life is a rollercoaster (because I should want things) and hate my family for making me stuck in my other three consciousness (shadow, subconscious, super ego) and I “love” how they are like “Why are you so caring to all the other people outside but won’t lift a finger at home?? “ when they go on betraying me every opportunity they get... Every time i take a leap of faith (and the were A LOT) i fall reaaaaal hard on the ground ... the most i got hurt in life was because of my family :/ (went to therapy because i got health issues from pent up stress) ... Lesson of the day 😊 Be good to your SJs. They will love you for the recognition you give them.

[@ifonlyunu994]

14:45 is the ESTJ approach true. I think they are trying to help though...Good job on this video so much knowledge shared about these types. Thank you!

[@tajmarie1329]

@7:13 I think some of that may be on the line of nature and nurture. Has my ESFJ mother been taken advantage of? Yes. For instance, she had kept forgetting to ask people what they plan to charge when asking for landscape work outside of cutting the grass and often times when selecting repair people like plumbers based on what they charge and not their track record of work. I keep advising her to do some research to determine the reasonable cost and to check references, however, she won't do it. Therefore, in response, she will either 'penny pinch' or keep detail track of being screwed "after the fact". However, she wouldn't agree to any service in a nilly-willy manner and often she will ask one of us (my siblings and I) for recommendations. If anything, she has complained about how much of a pushover my grandfather has been to people in their neighborhood. The point about being particular about "appearances" is definitely true -- and not just in terms of dressing, but everything: entertaining, cleaning, and ceremonies. However, one thing that I will note that while ESFJs (and perhaps ISFJs) are mindful of appearances and standards, the same can not be said about being mindful of time. Oftentimes, it seems that being on time comes at a cost of keeping up with appearances.

[@CSJoseph]

well said

[@Lisa-uv5jb]

I like these specific examples you gave, such as dishes. I know a lot of ESFJs and love to have them around for Thanksgiving (they pretty much run the show cleaning, decorating cooking including dishes!). I’ve had one even brush my hair in my 30’s so I look good before going to a party! Thanks again! Also, what are they like in their ENTJ superego?

[@CSJoseph]

very controlling.

[@nachiketpargaonkar8646]

Which function is the source of worry? The inferior or the nemesis? Because you said ESTJ walks around worried that they're a bad person (low Fi) & then the Ti nemesis makes them worry if they're not intelligent, how to differentiate the two? EDIT: I'd commented a little earlier it seems :P so worry is nemesis & fear is inferior. It's still slightly tough to differentiate though, maybe I need to look into more examples.

[@alexasweatt8857]

Hey, be nice to your grandmother!

[@CSJoseph]

I am being nice by telling the truth

[@alexasweatt8857]

LOL, it's like you're god.

[@raylin2057]

You know what KZbin needs? Eventually if possible we need you to explain EXACTLY what happens to a person (childe) when he or she is given meds for ADD or ADHD. I know from experience that medication does far more than make one easy to handle. Meds may actually force a person into not using they're Ego side. The best I can explain is when I was given meds for school for "ADD and severe dyslexia " at age 6, I didn't feel like myself, sure I was learning the material (kindof) but I didn't feel right and I lived in constant fear of someone thinking I was stupid. Eventually when I was old enough to go to school without the meds I still wasnt myself because this was who the world wanted me to be...and I didn't snap out of it to my ENTJ self until 3 or 4 years after graduating high school. And hearing your experience with being forced to..not be you made me realize how to understand thats what happened to me too, though I still don't understand it fully. SO! The world needs to know exactly what they're doing when they drug they're kids for convenience on order to shove a compleatly one sided learning style down they're throat for 13 years. They need to know what it does to a person. Can you tell I'm a little bitter about it? 😂

[@CSJoseph]

Yes, yes I can

[@raylin2057]

Joseph lol if anyone can it would be you.

[@AzaresAscending]

Ok that’s it. I’m getting the Dr Linda Berrens book and Dr John Beebe. Can’t wait to be on the next level

[@redadventurer3552]

Great video as always can you do a video in regards to differentiating statements and words people use to tell whether they are an extroverted feeler or extroverted thinker or introverted feeler or introverted feeler (like for the estj or esfj for example)?

[@CSJoseph]

yes its coming soon

[@sandradibiaso7316]

My dad is definitely one or the other. He would get so upset if my sneakers were untied. He used to tell me how to dress and insult my clothing when he was younger. He always wants to look good when he is going out dancing. He talks people's ears off but that could be because he has bipolar disorder. He is definitely an extravert because he loves being around people, joking, gossiping, talking about God telling people what they should do and tell people how smart he is and how great of a guy he is.. My dad makes terrible decisions when it comes to spending money like gambling. My dad hates when I don't listen to him. He always talks about all the things he has done to help others. My dad couldn't care less about Socrates Plato, etc. He went to Wentworth Technical College. He worked with computers most of his life. He was a computer engineer. My dad already thinks he is smart. He is not afraid that he is not smart. He loves the familiar like eating at the same restaurants, going to the gym almost everyday at the same time. He gets up at the same time everyday. He normally eats the same thing every morning.

[@julianizdebski5035]

INTJ here with estj + esfj parent TERRIBLE upbringing. Absolutely awful. This video is so helpful it’s not even funny - thank you csj

[@maryrosenwasser1656]

Why was it horrible? i'm ESFJ and have an INTJ dad who ruined my childhood, so i wonder if something about the types won't match

[@julianizdebski5035]

@@maryrosenwasser1656 interesting. Yeah, so as INTJ, my focus and perspectice on life is “big picture, deep thoughts, abstract insights” as well as the whole TE “go go” mode And then Fe I will ALWAYS shut down immediately - I’m not evil (far from it) the intjs “societal place” is behind the scenes making things happen that effect everyone - we usually don’t care about actually participating in or sharing experiences almost at all. Is this similar to your scenario?

[@maryrosenwasser1656]

​@@julianizdebski5035 I hardly caught a glimpse of my father's thoughts growing up, he is extremely introverted and rarely interacts with anyone As a teenager i tried bringing him drinks he likes and ask him for help when i had problems with homework, it resulted at him being mostly angry if he didn't want that drink at that time, and every time i asked him to help solving a problem he told me that the only way to learn is by finding the way to solve it myself The rare times i got any recognition or a good word was when i had the top marks in class or a great achievement I ended up spending my childhood competing in several sports and racing people for the top marks in all subjects at school But nothing was enough, even when i was a finalist in the national mathematics olympic he only said that i could have got a better place if i wasn't busy chasing boys (i wasn't, just had a boyfriend), and never wanted to have a real relationship with me or my brothers He doesn't care for family in general except for my mom and his parents, family dinners were always a thing that my mom dragged him against his will Now we found a way to make him come to parties, we told him that we need him to take photos, so he finished a photography 3 months course, bought himself a professional camera, studied how to edit pictures and is now proudly in charge of all the family photos 😂 He takes his hobbies more seriously than most people take their jobs, he always gives his best when it comes to his skills and his job, always looking for something interesting, but when it comes to his relationship with us he just sees us as a nuisance and doesn't want to be around us if he can help it

[@AzaresAscending]

In your celebrity typing videos, you type them by listening specifically to how people communicate to see which functions are influencing their perceptions and decisions. But it’s all based on communication. Isn’t there an aspect of personality that is more about the actions we take and not just what we say? Like say we’re reading about this hypothetical guy who vlogs about all the metaphysical “what if’s” ever, so he’s likely a strong Ne, without even observing his interaction style.

[@CSJoseph]

yes there is.

[@xandirkuro4790]

12:40 Teach me ! Teach me how to grow baloons, candy and doughnuts ( I'll give you some when they grow up ^_^) .

[@liveforyouonly]

weird, I must be ESTJ that was trapped in a people pleasing phase

[@nicalexander5874]

Can you do an episode of how ISFPs compare to ESTPs?

[@CSJoseph]

sure

[@nicalexander5874]

Excellent! Thank you.

[@Moana_moo]

My grandmas an ESFJ and she a fucking neat freak and it freaks me out as an ESFP like she calls me lazy bcuz my room be always messy but the thing is i prefer doing something productive like working out or studying for getting into college or chilling with my friends rather than tidying shit up. She’s self sacrificing in a weird way. Like she’ll do all the shit for me and my family and then she be like:”assholes you’re so fucking selfish all of you since you let me at 70 do all this shit alone.” And i Look at her and tell her:”grandma nobody asked u to do shit go home” and then she’ll be like:”how dare i send her home and how ungrateful i am after she complains all day how much she wants home. She godamn loves calling me selfish and lazy since she at 17 was always helping her mom around the house while i do nothing and i’m always like her at 17 was helping her mom me at 17 i’m working towards my career goals after spending 6h/day at school. Like just like for her the most important thing has always been helping others(and i mean it she always put others first) for me my most important feeling is succeeding in my dream career and making enough money to travel with my friends

[@looovee1000]

My lovely ESTJ brother used his demonic critic to yell across the school yard that my IQ was on my shirt (I was wearing a shirt with 13 on it)... Good times

[@vannarubi4591]

your estj jokes >> 😂😂

[@mcjagger6319]

Could an enfp male have a relationship w an esfj female?

[@CSJoseph]

i hope not. Although I wonder if they are mistyped.

[@mcjagger6319]

C.S. Joseph I don’t think so she’s definitely a starter traditionalist and I’m a starter idealist we’ve been dating for two months do u think it will work out?

[@mcjagger6319]

C.S. Joseph or would she not be loyal because of si parent and se demon?

[@raedjamal5779]

@@mcjagger6319 not going to work out bro, your Se demon is going to make her feel uncomfortable and that will trigger her Se critic and she will make you uncomfortable.

[@Cherrypopppp]

For the ESTJ: What do you think I should do: -isn’t it more Fe-Ti-Te-Ni ? Instead of Ti-Te-Si ?

[@Yo-pz1em]

I am here because I tested estj at work. But I feel like an esfj. 55% t 45% f I do corporate training and everyone seems to enjoy my trainings. But I guess they are just putting up with me. Lol

[@Yo-pz1em]

Omg I’ve been called a pompous pretentious bish many times. Lol. Wtf.

[@xandirkuro4790]

whenever you say feeler I imagine feelers(i.e. the organs of some bugs, as well as those tentacles of scary tentacle monsters xd)

[@spoonsnaper]

Do ISFP vs ISTP

[@CSJoseph]

its coming

[@valentynabelofsky9374]

Also, I'm having trouble getting on the Discord server. It won't accept my phone number.

[@CSJoseph]

have you opened a ticket with discord support?

[@valentynabelofsky9374]

No. How do you do this? BTW thanks a lot for answering

[@henkster6067]

Hi Chase. Great job! ENTP vs ENFP please. Haha Are you going to do ENFJ social engineering soon?

[@CSJoseph]

yes

[@qasimimtiaz9668]

young esfjs spend their spare time in the clubs where as young estjs spend their time in the gym. enough comparison needed.

[@lucindaessin]

I keep testing as an ESFJ but I don’t feel like I am lining up with the cognitive functions for it.

[@ms9771]

as first time watcher, You scare others type from estj, and estf, just you did not said, there is any possibility these type could change, or what type are good with those two type ,

[@CSJoseph]

through cognitive transition or through growing up

[@ms9771]

@@CSJoseph Thank you for answer, I'm learning and try to understand more also wonder, could one person have two type of personality ? by the way you are great teacher,

[@katjerouac]

Id like to know you're opinion when comparing an ISTP with an ISFP and how you would differentiate them I know it should be very obvious but a lot of times they're very similar in my view.

[@nachiketpargaonkar8646]

I have the same doubt. I used to be almost certain that I'm an ISFP, now I'm confused between ISFP, INFP, ISTP, INTP & a less likely INTJ.

[@katjerouac]

@@nachiketpargaonkar8646 I confused with those four also, and maybe even ENTJ, but for a long time though I've mostly thought of myself as ISTP or ISFP on top of the fact that I always have tested as so, even if those test really mean nothing.

[@nachiketpargaonkar8646]

@@katjerouac Even I've been typed ISFP by one site consistently (another site tends to type me INTJ though) & maybe I'm not understanding the interaction styles properly, that's why I'm not being able to pinpoint.

[@astonish_injurer5598]

@@katjerouac The difference between Ti users (ISTP in this case) and Te users (ISFP) is that Te users look to external sources of information whether that be other people or tests to determine if something is true or not. Your last sentence being an example, although your Te certainly sounds quite pessismstic, so that'd make you an ISFP.

[@astonish_injurer5598]

@@nachiketpargaonkar8646 I'd say ISTP is the most likely. Reason being that ISFP, INFP and INTP are all informative whereas you're direct. However, you also seem control and although ISTP is a movement type, the other three sides are control types (ESTJ shadow, ENFJ subconscious and INFP superego).

[@boxy_tocs2035]

21:30 26:00

[@d.o.9072]

What if I'm afraid that I'm both Bad and Stupid? I know , sad. 😂😂😂

[@lailarizkyamaliya2380]

is it true that ESTJ are less expressive than ESFJ?

[@Seljhbff]

Way less expressive, I remember as a child and young teenager not been sure if my father loved me because he never expressed it until he up right told me. I suck at knowing what people feel so that doesn’t help, lol

[@astonish_injurer5598]

If they were, I don't think there'd be as much confusion between the two types.

[@qasimimtiaz9668]

nah, esfjs are less expressive

[@valentynabelofsky9374]

"operation dumbo drop on steroids"

[@valentynabelofsky9374]

?Which type is most likely to say something such as the following? "They should have thrown in a few more slow songs, but it was really fun and everyone seemed to be in a really good mood."

[@CSJoseph]

STP/NFJ, likely ENFJ

[@valentynabelofsky9374]

That was something I said in an article that I thought would say something about my type. I thought for sure that I was ENFP because I'm definitely movement and informative... Is it possible that I was in my INFJ shadow or ESTP superego when I said this?

[@redadventurer3552]

Random question but do you believe Adolf Hitler was an INFJ (sorry about asking questions not related to the videos you make lol)?

[@CSJoseph]

No idea yet.

[@akhui5040]

I though u already did this

[@CSJoseph]

no, that was STJs.

[@Cherrypopppp]

Hahahaha do not let them do it by themselves hahahahaha I am dead

[@isabellemyzer1807]

The two worst personality types. Sincerely the ENTP-T

[@fantasizer8473]

I miss five years ago c s joseph