Cuban Coffee Almost Killed Me | Gabriel Iglesias

Happy throwback Thursday!
#GabrielIglesias
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[@greglance7311]

When they drink that coffee, they dont swim across, they frickin run on top of the water

[@sohailahmed8309]

😂😂😂

[@blackice7408]

😆🤦🏿‍♂️

[@west24thstreet8]

🤣🤣🤣

[@alewisenator]

Jesus Christ has left the chat. 😂😂😂😂

[@Saber23]

greg lance yup 👍😂

[@Dr_Monitor]

"-a bowl of Cuban coffee" As someone who drinks espresso like it's water, this still terrifies me as a concept.

[@ActuatedGear]

@Ryuuji Takasu *Distant Explosion* MAN WHA'D YOU DO?!!!

[@MrJohnboy3434]

Why do you think they're Catholic? THEY KNOW THAT SHIT'S POSSIBLE.

[@landrydekao2919]

9 Ellos dijeron a Noé: "¿Quieres decir que sólo eres tú quien estás en la Verdad? ¿Y Adán, Abel, Enoc, y ellos todos los que murieron antes de ti?". Lo dijeron esto al Señor Jesucristo, a los profetas, a los apóstoles y ahora es a nosotros como si hubiera dos Verdades. Ellos dijeron "¡Noé! ¿Entonces sobre toda la tierra, si alguien no entra a tu arca, Dios va a engullirle en el Diluvio?". Ellos se reían y se burlaban de Noé. Y lo mismo pasa hoy. 10 Se ríen y se burlan en sus iglesias, en sus oficinas, en sus casas. Dicen: "sobre toda la faz de la tierra, ¿cómo es solamente él, Kacou Philippe, a quien debemos creer para ser salvado? ¡No! ¡Dios no puede decir esto! El Salvador es Jesucristo. Es Él quien murió en la cruz. Es Él quien nos redimió. ¿Un pecador como tú Kacou Philippe, es que va a salvarnos ahora? ¿Qué esto quiere decir? ¿Dijo Dios realmente esto el 24 abril de 1993? ".! ¡Sí señor, Dios lo dijo! " Lo mismo que María concibió milagrosamente sin conocer hombre, lo mismo que Moisés recibió con detalles lo que pasó en la creación, tú también recibiste las Palabras de la Vida eterna este 24 de abril de 1993 y eso es decretado por parte de Dios. Al tiempo señalado, entenderás y enseñarás lo que no aprendiste para que tenga Vida Eterna cualquiera que cree". [La congregación dice: ¡Amén!-Ed]. Dios se lo había dicho a Noé. Dios se lo había dicho a Moisés, Dios había dicho a todos los profetas en su tiempo. 11 Y hoy, Dios lo dijo por el profeta Kacou Philippe el 24 de abril de 1993.Y si usted es un niño de Dios, es en él, Kacou Philippe a quien usted debe creer para ser salvado. Y si usted realmente tiene el Espíritu Santo, este Espíritu Santo le conducirá a él, el profeta de su tiempo, como un día, este Espíritu Santo condujo Cornelio hacia Pedro que tenía las llaves del Reino de los Cielos. [La congregación dice: ¡Amén!-Ed]. Y si usted debe servir a Dios, es hacer el eco de lo que el profeta Kacou Philippe, el profeta vivo de su tiempo está diciendo. Y es la sola cosa que usted pudiera hacer. 🇪🇸#Descarguen: La ap. "Profeta Kacou Philippe (Oficial)" en Google Play o App store o prophetekacou.es.aptoide.com/app o vayan a: www.philippekacou.org/es

[@theemperor1782]

@@ActuatedGear took on the Cuban millitary now the un wants me arrested

[@TheMilwaukeeProtocol]

Same. I about died when he told that story.

[@edelta88]

Fluffy: "So Martin and I..." Me: "Oh, this is going to be great."

[@q-tip4723]

All the good ones start like that.

[@RenamonandLuna]

*quickly pulls out popcorn to munch*

[@darrenmarfice8318]

@Erik that's how the good ones always start 😂

[@daninb8939]

I once had half a shot glass of Cuban coffee after having a great night's sleep... I nearly vibrated out of my skin at work. Finished 3 days of workload in 5 hours.

[@faiththomas1749]

Not vibrating out of ur skin like a phone

[@yass3lon]

🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@karmz1986]

I'm literally laughing out loud

[@msk-qp6fn]

Now i want cuban coffee i need it for my work internship and course

[@Kronosdoesshit]

Jesus christ

[@hotdamndan9892]

All good stories begin with "Martin and I..." and we'd be like, oh shit here we go. Lol

[@tvdwillreign8120]

That's what I think every time I watch this video!! 😂

[@nhk1472]

😂😂true

[@tonyhodgin1158]

So true

[@cittrangenericlastname8616]

It's like Vir Das and Old Monk Rum. _"So, we were drinking Old Monk Rum... and now my right pupil doesn't work."_

[@SimoExMachina2]

The racist gift basket is also pretty funny shit.

[@catharineorellana3522]

"I'm not a -ito, I'm a -ande." Jajaja!!!

[@ultimatebishoujo29]

Lol

[@jesusislord6545]

Repent to Jesus Christ!!! “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will.” ‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:2‬ ‭NIV‬‬ N

[@andy56duky]

@@jesusislord6545 you gonna need a grande size holy water for this.

[@marcodonis6633]

Ve con Dio'

[@gmresports4586]

@@jesusislord6545 Jai shree Ram

[@Momo_Kawashima]

As an italian I find it satisfying to hear spanish. I mean, spanish and italian aren't the same, but since they're pretty similar we can still manage to understand each other (unless someone talks fast). It gives you this thing like "oh yeah I can understand this language without studying it, I'm big brain"

[@mimi_j]

Ouu yes! I took Italian in college and the teacher kept saying I would read and speak it very Puerto Rican 😂😂I love hearing Italian

[@jesuschristiscallingyou953]

As a native Spanish speaker, I LOVE Italian. Sounds so classy and special to me, so poetic and delightful, and I get a thrill when I understand a few similar-sounding words. I'm from Puerto Rico and to me we sound so vulgar, because even trying to properly speak Spanish, it sounds forced and unnatural, unlike Spanish from Argentina or Spain.

[@Momo_Kawashima]

@@jesuschristiscallingyou953 I'm from southern Italy, most of us only speak dialect, I feel you for the "sounds forced and unnatural" part, when we speak italian usually we do it with the characteristic accent and instinctively throw in dialectal words. When I find similar words I basically become the Di Caprio meme where he points at the tv

[@crhiseb3004]

Same brother, i was watching a video of some italian girl talking about about mountain life and i was like "since when do i understand italian?"

[@mikegreen5502]

​@@Momo_Kawashima Spanish and Italian are very similar I had friends who worked in an Italian restaurant and in about 2 to 3 years we're fluent because they knew Spanish

[@amzarnacht6710]

5:00 - Same *EXACT* thing happened to my father on his first trip to Rio. They'd gotten bumped to first class so the service was... well, to be expected. They brought out these tiny cups ("shot glasses", never heard it said better) and tipped them about HALF full. My dad was like; "What's this?" "Coffee." "Really? Then can I get an actual cup of coffee?" With a disdainful look at the two sip in his plate. "Okay, sir." Attendant wasn't about to refuse anyone in first class, but was clearly dubious. She withdrew and returned with a standard six ounce coffee mug (actual porcelain! on a plane!) and then filled it up with the same stuff that she had poured into the shot glass. Let's just say: My dad came back to the US with a fucking stevedore packed full of brazillian coffee...

[@Jamhael1]

My friend, we here in Brazil have a saying: "Do not be deceived by our smiles. Brazilians are moved by sheer hatred and coffee."

[@jerrykinnin7941]

I love Cuban coffee. And that clear alcohol made from the first pressing of the sugar cane. My wife and I with our 2 kids were on vacation in Orlando. When to a Brazilian steakhouse that drink came with the meal. It was a Groupon thing. I took a sip( I'm the designated driver everyone else in my family was either to young or blonde) I warned my wife be careful with that drink. Her and my oldest daughter had 1 1/2 each. We had to carry my wife to the car. She didn't wake up for 36 hrs.

[@Jamhael1]

@@jerrykinnin7941 ah, your wife and daughter discovered the famous cachaça, a rum type of distilled alcohol from sugar that we have in Brazil. Yeah, it is common for foreigners to always underestimate it, specially if it comes in the form of "caipirinha", a refreshing and sweet drink made from cachaça. I stopped counting long ago how many times I've saw them getting hammered because of it...

[@patrician3821]

Watching fluffy talk about Cuban coffee I was thinking exactly about our coffee here in Rio. It is no joke. And when we go abroad it is our turn to complain about the “tea” people serve as coffee. We call it a chafé, a mix of the words for tea ( chá) and coffee ( café). And we really hate it 🤣

[@sierralovat5498]

Well Frank Sinatra wasn't lying

[@johnthaxton9235]

Im a truck driver and I delivered in South Miami once. While waiting to unload the guy asked if I'd like some coffee. I said sure. He brought me a tiny cup of Cuban coffee and I was like Gabriel, "WTF is this?" I drank it and said thanks. 5 minutes later I got the shakes. By the time I left there I was wired for sound. I drove from South Miami to New Orleans, Louisiana before i came down off that stuff. Holy Shit!!!

[@JohnH20111]

then you’d be really wired for sound if you tried Devil Mountain Coffee, because it’s got 1,550 mg of Caffeine in it

[@roughrider4048]

🤣

[@lalegende2746]

I needed that laugh, thanks for the story 😂

[@KingMarkus222]

holy shit lol

[@mikegreen5502]

​@@JohnH20111 cuban coffee is better

[@onedaysai0]

"why is he yelling" this cracked me up. I remember I had a friend over in highschool. We were hanging out in the living room, my mom and her friend who was also Cuban, were hanging out in the kitchen. My friend got progressively quieter and eventually got the courage to ask me why they were fighting. I burst out laughing and had to explain that Cubans are loud and they were just having a regular conversation.

[@l6318]

I grew up in a Sicilian household and this exact same thing happened to me a lot as a kid. I guess Sicilians and Cubans are just naturally terrifying...lol

[@onedaysai0]

@@l6318 hahahaha but we're also fun! It's all about balance. ;)

[@l6318]

@@onedaysai0 Definitely! :-D

[@1yabeyabe]

@@l6318 it's the hand movements

[@natashagoode501]

Lol the Greeks and Greek Cypriots are the same, and Lebanese. Being one of the few skips (white/British descendant Aussies) in the neighbourhood), walking past their houses it always looked and sounded like they were having domestics. But in reality it was things like Oh my God! It's been so long since I've seen you! Why you wait so long uh?! Come here and gimme a hug! What is this with your hair?! Well it looks beautiful anyway. Come and eat my food! And stuff like that lol.

[@JeniPireX]

"Que tu quiere?!!?" "...I forgot.👀 " Me. 🤣🤣👌👌

[@lauracatha3625]

I met you after a horrible injury. You offered me tickets but I already had some. You took pictures with ma and my son. Marten took them to you and you autographed them. You made my son's day. Thank you.

[@Fsilone]

"That is the only way Cubans can make that swim." Audience: **nervous laughter and applause**

[@Ratchet4647]

Some of them made that swim, other's parents did. Of course, there were a lot in rafts and makeshift boats. There's even a story of a man who turned a pickup into a boat and I think its probably in museum somewhere. Others made it to Guantanamo or to the Yucatan to get to the border. Some who had permits to leave the country by plane never returned. That area, if you're not Cuban, you know several. Edit: was that unwarranted? I just thought to explain why the particular reaction.

[@alejandrorobles1343]

@@Ratchet4647 I think you're good

[@Marches96]

I don't get that joke, could you explain it? Thank you!

[@viciousrape]

@@Marches96 not to be crude but there are some Cuban people who migrated to the states by illegally crossing the border. basically, they swam from somewhere in order to reach the US

[@elweasel2010]

@@Ratchet4647 IIRC the US Coast Guard sank the '51 Chevy pickup because they said it was a danger to navigation.

[@MinersLoveGames]

Someone posted this on another version of this video and it's so true: "Cuban coffee is the reason crystal meth never took off in Florida."

[@screwthenet]

No its cause the cartels were more interested in keeping miami flooded with cocaine since the 70s. The feds too lol o>O

[@AnyelGarcia_ElCubano]

-_- dude tf , smoke weed or take shroms , that shit will kill u , for ur own good stop!!!!!(don’t do hard drugs)

[@yisroel5556]

Idk if you can be sure about that

[@harshil9270]

this has exactly 420 likes nobody else like this

[@yisroel5556]

Harshil they did

[@theofficialmr.aftussy]

As a Cuban person I will tell you NEVER DRINK CUBAN COFFEE BIGGER THAN A SHOT

[@MrJohnnyBlaise]

Well I'm Haitian, I will drink that WITH Rhum in the other hand. Plus we have some family in Santiago de Cuba. Not problem man

[@theofficialmr.aftussy]

I'll dig a grave for you@@MrJohnnyBlaise

[@MrJohnnyBlaise]

@@theofficialmr.aftussy LOL, I'm literally across from Cuba. And I live in Miami. Trust, I'm alive and well

[@theofficialmr.aftussy]

God is good god is great thank goodness your still here@@MrJohnnyBlaise

[@ChaplainPhantasm]

...Can I take two shots of coffee though?

[@cheezemonkeyeater]

"You call a Cuban anything but Cuban, you get stabbed." Can confirm. It happened to my brother once.

[@dunga9984]

Damn dude

[@diamonddias924]

WTF DAMN I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE

[@cheezemonkeyeater]

@@diamonddias924 Well, it wasn't actually a stabbing, per say, but I do feel the reaction was disproportionate to the offense.

[@diamonddias924]

@@cheezemonkeyeater damn sad to hear

[@cheezemonkeyeater]

@@diamonddias924 He came out okay and certainly learned a valuable lesson from the experience.

[@Verdugo_Arulaq]

“Mexicans sound high, we drag [the sentence] out” As a Mexican (first gen born in the US) I can confirm he’s not wrong.

[@trabajador_]

Saaaame

[@ryanhauser3014]

First thing I thought of was Cheech and Chong's voices.

[@Mikey-ym6ok]

That’s called being American

[@Rurne]

Miiiiira gueeeeeeeeey

[@T0astedR0asted]

U aint mexican bruh, you’re Chicano

[@jeffnaslund]

I’m a South Florida gringo. I can attest to the strength of the coffee. There’s a reason meth never took off in Miami

[@pdb2k154]

Sadly it did in the rest of Florida

[@keyscored3710]

You literally copied a top comment.

[@manoftruth0935]

@@pdb2k154 then spread Cuban coffee instead.

[@pdb2k154]

@@manoftruth0935 good luck getting Florida man off meth man

[@cool_cat007smoove3]

lol

[@tatirodriguez5447]

As a Cuban, I can confirm that everything he said about us, and our coffee, was true.

[@freedomloverusa3030]

Yeap, every single thing🤣🤣🤣

[@ofdrumsandchords]

What makes the cuban coffee so strong ? Is it some kind of Robusta like the coffee grown in Africa, or do you just make it extremely concentrated ? As a drummer, I find cuban music more relaxed than brazilian samba or US funk. The coffee doesn't seem to speed up the tiempo of the son cubano. But I'll be cautious when I go, I drink Peruvian.

[@dylancarroll4623]

I can just imagine back at the hotel, Martin walks in on him writing all over the walls. Martin: What are you doing?! Fluffy: WrItInG jOkEs BrO!

[@frankt285]

Eye's all wide open...

[@MigPlz91LivestreamOnly]

As a Puerto Rican and Cuban I can vouch for what he says That coffee is basically liquid crack And fluffy just overdosed

[@adadrer784]

Yeah, I'm fairly certain that Fluffy's lucky his heart didn't explode

[@CubanSaIbangBansaSaVisayas]

Well i grow up drinking that Coffe until one day with 14 years i couldn't sleep and i stopped drinking until today and also at that time i couldn't drink our Coffe without smoking habanos with only 12 years .. Greeting from Filipinas my swim was more than a coffe shot hahaha

[@RichWeigel]

Had a similar experience when I visited Little Havana, Miami. Not a bowl thank God or I would be dead. But I asked for an expresso and they brought me a little cup on a coaster. Then the waiter was like you are going to want to put some milk and sugar in that. Never having Cuban coffee I slammed it down. That little cup of coffee in a 125lb Puertorican guy had me wired and fidgety the whole time I was there. I thought I was going to be sick for a bit LMAO.

[@landrydekao2919]

9 Ellos dijeron a Noé: "¿Quieres decir que sólo eres tú quien estás en la Verdad? ¿Y Adán, Abel, Enoc, y ellos todos los que murieron antes de ti?". Lo dijeron esto al Señor Jesucristo, a los profetas, a los apóstoles y ahora es a nosotros como si hubiera dos Verdades. Ellos dijeron "¡Noé! ¿Entonces sobre toda la tierra, si alguien no entra a tu arca, Dios va a engullirle en el Diluvio?". Ellos se reían y se burlaban de Noé. Y lo mismo pasa hoy. 10 Se ríen y se burlan en sus iglesias, en sus oficinas, en sus casas. Dicen: "sobre toda la faz de la tierra, ¿cómo es solamente él, Kacou Philippe, a quien debemos creer para ser salvado? ¡No! ¡Dios no puede decir esto! El Salvador es Jesucristo. Es Él quien murió en la cruz. Es Él quien nos redimió. ¿Un pecador como tú Kacou Philippe, es que va a salvarnos ahora? ¿Qué esto quiere decir? ¿Dijo Dios realmente esto el 24 abril de 1993? ".! ¡Sí señor, Dios lo dijo! " Lo mismo que María concibió milagrosamente sin conocer hombre, lo mismo que Moisés recibió con detalles lo que pasó en la creación, tú también recibiste las Palabras de la Vida eterna este 24 de abril de 1993 y eso es decretado por parte de Dios. Al tiempo señalado, entenderás y enseñarás lo que no aprendiste para que tenga Vida Eterna cualquiera que cree". [La congregación dice: ¡Amén!-Ed]. Dios se lo había dicho a Noé. Dios se lo había dicho a Moisés, Dios había dicho a todos los profetas en su tiempo. 11 Y hoy, Dios lo dijo por el profeta Kacou Philippe el 24 de abril de 1993.Y si usted es un niño de Dios, es en él, Kacou Philippe a quien usted debe creer para ser salvado. Y si usted realmente tiene el Espíritu Santo, este Espíritu Santo le conducirá a él, el profeta de su tiempo, como un día, este Espíritu Santo condujo Cornelio hacia Pedro que tenía las llaves del Reino de los Cielos. [La congregación dice: ¡Amén!-Ed]. Y si usted debe servir a Dios, es hacer el eco de lo que el profeta Kacou Philippe, el profeta vivo de su tiempo está diciendo. Y es la sola cosa que usted pudiera hacer. 🇪🇸#Descarguen: La ap. "Profeta Kacou Philippe (Oficial)" en Google Play o App store o prophetekacou.es.aptoide.com/app o vayan a: www.philippekacou.org/es

[@laurafernandez8281]

I still one in awhile have Cuban coffee when I really tired. I have the coffee maker that you put on the stove

[@nomadranger2455]

Dude I did something similar my first time. They brought out the little cup and I laughed. I said I'm going to need at least 4 of these before I'm set. The waiter laughed and hooked me up. I was working for Time Warner Cable as a maintenance service tech at the time. 30 min latter and I was breaking land speed records for running rewiers. I thought my heart was going to explode.

[@Darskul]

LMAO I imagined it and now I'm dying.

[@mitchpitner3229]

Speedy Gonzales?

[@cybercat29]

@@mitchpitner3229 I often wondered what made Speedy Gonzales move that fast and now I know 😅😂🤣

[@lalegende2746]

I’m dying just thinking about this 🤣🤣🤣

[@Ambipie]

How didn't you feel it upon taking the first one

[@davidalvidrez9452]

Here's one for you. I was in Italy several years ago for a religious event involving the daughters of some friends. There were several couples from Switzerland and we were having diner. Someone mentioned that I was Mexican, which was odd, but a while later the owner brought what was a home grown hot pepper for me to try. I thought no big thing, and as they all watched I took a big bite of it, and I mean big, amused to hear them all gasp, though at the moment it was no big thing to me, but a while later it felt like I had a blow torch in my mouth. Hey, I'm a Mexican, so I sucked it up as if nothing was wrong (got to keep up appearances and defend the honor of my country men). Anyway, I didn't die or end up the hospital, so I made it through the meal (which didn't come quick enough). I swear I'll never do that again, small bites better.

[@peterhagen6136]

Be thankful it wasn't a ghost 🌶️ or a reaper.

[@vantrillo6360]

Had a similar experience TODAY. Drove down to Florida to visit a friend, whom I haven't seen since covid breakout. It took roughly 10 hours of driving to get down there and I was exhausted. When we met up, we visited a restaurant that gave me a glass of cuban coffee. I'm like, gimme a bigger cup. Waiter took away the glass without saying anything and brought me a styrofoam cup of coffee. I took 1 large sip of the stuff and I stayed awake for the past 12 hours. Haven't taken a second sip since. Gonna save it for the drive back home.

[@hanktorrance6855]

When I was a child, no more than 6 or 7 my neighbor's grandfather was Cuban and he would come visit, and when he did he always made Cuban coffee (yes in little cups) and he and I would drink the coffee,mhe always loved me for that, no one else would drink the coffee, so that was our special time . thanks for bringing this memory !

[@vaibhavgoel9065]

Sir I am here to remind you of that memory again the way you just wrote that was wonderful

[@BHuang92]

You drank coffee as a kid?!!!!

[@tainozoku]

@@BHuang92 i mean who didn't?😂😂

[@peachmelba9333]

@@tainozoku my WASP relatives used to not let me have coffee- yeah even American variety- claimed it would stunt my.growth- I do hope you made it taller than 4ft11 inches. That said- at least before I formulate my Bucket List- I want to have An Cuban cofficinta.. if i'm gonna die it might as web- sit with me I assure m

[@johnnycajxrt]

My best friend made that same mistake, he went to a Cuban place, sent back the shot glass, and was given a full coffee mug. He said that he didn’t sleep for 3 days.

[@lalegende2746]

Oh no 😭

[@AstriLivingInChicago]

😱

[@Jgaming1000]

same here that stuff is crazy strong but so worth it for me any ways.

[@rogueraccoon1840]

The gamer fuel we all need we need to harness this power

[@9Tailsfan]

You need to try Vietnamese Ice Coffee, The college kids in my area drink this while they pull all nighters studying for exams.

[@VladimirTrujilloOG]

“Okay! Okay! Manolo, allá afuera hay un goldo que dice que quiere uno cafezote uno problema allá! 😂😂😂😂😂😂 Best cuban accent ever😂😂😂😂

[@geckoman1011]

I worked with a unit from the Puerto Rican National Guard and had a translator who had roots from Mexico. We got the real dialect experience. One of the best experiences of my life.

[@syntonicpaul]

43 years old. Living in Australia with ZERO spanish influence besides sesame street and breaking bad.. I heard Ocho and instantly knew that was 8 (Go Big Bird!!)

[@devvytm]

hahahaha

[@FaizCaliph]

Where all the Spanish speakers at?

[@jolinejoline2471]

Breaking Bad 🔥 😭

[@jasminepecor6407]

🤣🤣🤣🤣 hell I grew up getting cursed out by moms best friends ( yes I love you Auntie) and I still can't speak a word of Spanish or any other language for that matter. But I definitely know when I am in trouble... my Auntie use very specific choice words then. 🤣🤣🤣 I love you Auntie 😍❤😘♥

[@DreamBelief]

@@FaizCaliph there are some, but they are one of our smallest minorities. It's just because of our history and geographic location

[@pxrplehalo]

Am I the only one who can perfectly hear what Gabriel is saying, but still reads the subtitles?

[@taRomi93]

always man, it's like a magnet.I see subtitles and I am just glued to them despite having 0 problems understanding what's being said

[@jasmine-vl9sv]

Yes! I’ve come very accustomed to watching/reading subtitles because I watch a bunch of different shows that are different languages

[@lindaleelaw5277]

We be learning something

[@xavieraguila8370]

Absolutely not lol

[@goalie2998]

The subtitles are hilarious. Speaks Spanish quickly

[@valiantatom7289]

I love how when he's imitating Cubans version of Spanish, he sounds like George Lopez

[@markhbeardsley5102]

Love this one! Way back in the day I moved to Miami and got a job as a doorman at the Hyatt there. The valet staff was all Latino, the bell staff a mix from everywhere. So I am talking with the valets during a quiet time one morning early on a February morning. Raul was like, "You are new to Miami, you have to learn what makes Miami work! Try a Cuban coffee!" So Raul and Carlos teach me how to order a Cuban coffee. Over and over, "Deme un taso de cafe Cubano, por favor." So I walk down the street, parrot the phrase and the dude gives me a 12 ounce styrofoam cup of brown, almost black, steaming hot coffee. And 6 little paper 1 ounce medicine cups. I take both and toss the medicine cups in the garbage can, who needs them? So I start walking back to the drive of the Hyatt and talk about sweet bliss! It was like Mr. Espresso had a love child with Ms. Brown Sugar! So I toss the styrofoam cup in the garbage and walk up to Raul and Carlos. They are smiling, looking at me, then they look confused and Carlos asked, "Mr. Mark, the cafe Cubano, you did not get it?" I looked at him like he was insulting my cultural prowess, and told him, "Yeah, I ordered it in Spanish and it was great!" Raul just asked "Un Taso, de Cafe Cubano?" And his eyebrows rose so far they disappeared. That was when I thought I might have made a mistake. He didn't say "Vaya con Dios!" but I got the hint. Oh, what a morning I had. The rooms exec came out to introduce himself to me and Raul told him I had just drunk a taso de cafe Cubano. Oddly enough, apparently now my eyebrows had risen so far that they disappeared. Everyone had a good laugh. Even I laughed about it. A week later.

[@Alhaneef1444]

I drink it like my mommas milk 😂😂😂

[@acetrainer44]

"You call a Cuban anything but a Cuban, you're gonna get stabbed." Only have met a few Cubans in my life, but that is definitely how it appeared to me as someone that vacationed in Florida for a week a few years back

[@menchacism5327]

As a Cuban this is accurate

[@Cjnw]

The real Florida Men

[@elweasel2010]

Cuban tend to see themselves as the top of Latino Ladder in Caribbean, Central America. And that was true of the Cuban-Americans. Unlike every other Latino group to came to America. The majority of the people were highly educated. Doctors, Lawyers, Pharmacist, etc This lead to the Cubans taking a lead against say the Mexicans, who were mostly migrate.farmers. Most to by homes, open businesses, highest incomes. However if a Cuban picks on you, it means he considers you a friend close enough to take a joke

[@adelaidaedwards3055]

He's telling the truth! I'm Cuban and that's the way things are in Miami.

[@juliovillarreal4575]

I going to Florida in September

[@robertfrost8531]

Had Turkish coffee once. I didn't sleep for a month, couldn't blink for a week, but after the hallucinations ended I could belly dance.

[@SporeTres]

Gabe talks about coffee and waiters, and here I am in awe that ANYTHING is open at 3am.

[@zipperfingers749]

It’s that coffee man.

[@carlosmccormick6544]

Germans “what do we drink”

[@adamwarlock4453]

I am learning spanish just to understand the spanish parts of his comedy sessions. I find them envigorating.

[@alejandrorobles1343]

Keep it keeping on Warlock 🙂 we welcome you to the Spanish speaking community!

[@danf4330]

Just ask in comments and write the minutes, someone will help you.

[@yamanmustafa7574]

*Invigorating. Don't give up trying to learn English also.

[@franklyn1581]

Hey man keep it going, the more learn the more u understand trust me.

[@oscaralvarez3898]

You're doing the right thing brother.

[@SuperLadyKing]

I love this! Me, my 2 adult sons and 14 year old grandson laughed our heads off. My mom was Puerto Rican, one of my aunts married a Cuban and my grandson’s mother is Mexican 🇺🇸🇵🇷🇨🇺

[@Trackrace29582]

I had to read this three times to get the family tree in my head

[@mayyy4765]

@@Trackrace29582 boii Ur not the only one lmaoo

[@jonmararbiter0721]

A great combination

[@BLVCKSCORP]

Why did u have to make me have a stroke, u just could've said your wife is mexican...

[@Noticccashonly]

Just shut up

[@SimoExMachina2]

Italians have their Espresso: small but potent. Mexicans have their Gabriel.

[@Goo_Gle.]

...Large and fluffy

[@ojibwebrave6457]

My uncle actually swam to Miami from Cuba and told me he actually drank some coffee before the trek. Fluffy hit it on the head.......it ACTUALLY happened.lol

[@vader.editz.86]

“You call a Puerto Rican a Dominican they’ll get mad.” Straight facts. 😂😂😂🤌🏽

[@lalegende2746]

I have some Puerto Rican friends and this is 100% accurate 🤣

[@vader.editz.86]

@@lalegende2746 I have a homie that calls me Dominican. Yet we’re both Puerto Rican. 😂

[@theflyingace611]

As a Dominican, I understand

[@Alex_Aramayo]

Bro this is just FACTS for all Latinos we all know that

[@frankt285]

That means fight is soon to start..

[@juls7582]

He is dead on. We’re Puerto Rican. When we were young, if our friends came over, my mom would get all excited and stared out speaking English, then went full on Spanish like a race car. Yes, we did have to interpret 😂

[@dfreeman13]

My Puerto Rican friends in a nutshell. Chileans are right behind.

[@SolarBlyze]

i'm not Puerto Rican myself but my friend is and i'm basically an adopted cousin in the family xD but lords when they start going in spanish i cannot even make out the words, it's just strings of sounds and i'm left there like "uh .... " and i when look over to my friend even she shrugs and goes "nope, they lost me too" xD

[@pedroc.b.3874]

Venezuelans aren't too far behind...

[@bigsimpwhobedownbadfrfr4005]

Yes bro imagine be Puerto Rican and ur friends are over and you did something wrong

[@MsDinova]

One of my friends is just as much my family as any of my blood relatives. I remember he was over one Christmas joining us for dinner. My mom and my grandma started chatting back-and-forth in Spanish at 1,000,000 miles a minute. He turned it to me, Since he didn’t speak much Spanish, and I just had to look back at him and say “I’m just as lost as you are“

[@genemartinez2833]

So glad to have discovered Gabriel! He is so talented and I love how he brings his love for family, friends and traditions into his comedy!

[@Loud5oh]

“Vaya con dios” that shiiii killed meee😭😭😂😂

[@cathoodiegirl4118]

Basically, Fluffy straight up opened the stairway to Heaven for himself. 😂 Cuban coffee is no joke.

[@rudyolivaiii3163]

What does that mean?

[@benwhitfield5870]

@@rudyolivaiii3163 You're going to God

[@jcbb779]

@@benwhitfield5870 no. It means "go with god"

[@sbyrstall]

@@rudyolivaiii3163 Fluffy got his Last Rights. 😂

[@smritirekhasarmahbarhai7621]

Yeaah boi, he is just making our quarantine period better😄

[@strawhatrell1192]

Fax

[@Rolatnor]

F yeah

[@MM-no7gb]

Different times in different places

[@matthews1499]

True

[@JB-ko3kq]

Ricky Mourad because they probably have this thing where they get to watch the video before it gets posted to us

[@burpostockings]

I love Ralphie May's take on Cuban coffee. "Drank that cup, could see into the future. As soon as I set that cup down. Crapped my pants." lmao

[@trudy285]

I drank some once in a Miami restaurant.... On the way back to the vacation spot in key west, I wrote an entire screenplay! True story! Keep Smiling And Enjoy Your Journey! 😁✌️❤️🦋🙏

[@Jmeister23]

When the waiter seen him drink the whole bowl of coffee and said “Vaya Con Dios” which is Spanish for “Go With God” and with Gabriel doing the Cross Gesture with his hand it made it so much funnier after I knew what it meant In English 😂😂

[@traviscummings9178]

Yeah, I'm fairly certain that Fluffy's lucky his heart didn't explode

[@GhostBear3067]

@Tim Craft ever get the feeling that your hands are shaking but when you look you cannot tell because your eyes are shaking at the same speed?

[@katieandkevinsears7724]

I once drank 11 Red Bulls in a night, but that had nothing on Cafecito.

[@GhostBear3067]

@@katieandkevinsears7724 well chase that with a cafecito and you will see through time.

[@lou-cidmire3065]

He took one world-ending monstrosity of a poop that night at least.

[@justahuman2609]

Yeah assuming everything was average (US standards) that would be 975.2 mg of caffeine or 11 and 3/4 of a energy drink (ex: nos, amp, bang)

[@pepperachu]

Basically he orders a large quadruple Cuban coffee against the advice of his offended server not realizing they are served small for a reason

[@m3rrys0ngstr3ss]

Yeah, when I first saw this bit, I figured the guy was either going to bow to him for his bravery or call him stupid. "Vaya con Dios" was probably the best thing the waiter could say to him!

[@Emanuela9]

Espresso grande ☕ Ay yi yi 😬

[@addictofanimation2923]

I think the waiter was being vindictive. You can't expect everyone to understand why you would bring them a shot glass of coffee if they don't know about how you make your coffee and you yourself don't give an explanation. He asked for a cup and the waiter brought a bowl to embarrass him and make him go back to a shot glass. Never underestimate what an embarrassed person will do. They don't always react rationally.

[@dragon67849]

@@addictofanimation2923 Big PP Comment right here

[@addictofanimation2923]

@@dragon67849 Huh?

[@YoUr.S_OnLy]

The way he says "OKAY!?" 🤣🤣 OMG I can't stop laughing Everytime I recall it

[@paulleyharris7851]

As a 1st generation American of Cuban heritage, I agree with the choice of beverage & how potent the coffee is. Cuban food is very delicious too!

[@iramorsnox6583]

For those of you who don’t know what “Vaya con Dios” means, it means “Go with God”. Edit: Joustin Carvajal in the comment thread has a more context-based/funnier translation.

[@butternutter_requiem9038]

Ira MorsNox yes but the literal translation doesn’t do it justice

[@jostincr17]

Yeah, it could be more like "May God be with you".

[@iramorsnox6583]

butternutter_requiem Half of the time translations don’t do the phrase/sentence justice.

[@iramorsnox6583]

Joustin Carvajal Yeah, though I get slightly irked when there aren’t literal translations for phrases so I just translated it literally. I’ll add your comment as an edit to the original one, to add to the comical value of Gabriel.

[@nikoo9640]

check out me and my girlfriends youtube channel 🙏

[@righty-o3585]

I remember the first time I had Cuban coffee. It was at my brother's wife's place ( no longer married ) in Miami. She came here with he parents stuffed like sardines on a refugee boat. So she was real deal. The conversation was basically the same as in the video. I was like WHAT THE HELL IS THIS? A thimble of coffee. She got about a syllable and a half into telling me that it's strong, to sip it slow. When I threw it back like it was a shot of whiskey.. And she did that oooooooodamn, scrunch face like you do when somebody isn't aware that they fucked up.. And like 30 seconds later... HOLY JESUS LASER BEAMS!!!!! I swear I could hear my hair growing out of the side of my face. And as hard and out of nowhere that stuff hits you like BING!!! Is how hard and suddenly it leaves.. I was mid sentence about halfway through reciting the ghettysburg address, power washing the roofing shingles and like somebody hit a switch , BLAM face first taking a nap in the roof. Out cold, snoring n shit. Cuban coffee or Cofe con Leche as they call it,, DOES NOT FUCK AROUND!!

[@Boogerdick69]

It’s funny cause we just so accustomed to it, when I was 5 I would drink a tacita or 2 at the barber shop lol. I’m not really a coffee drinker but I just drink it cause it feels disrespectful not to. I’ve never gone out my way to buy coffee and I’m 25

[@cl6962]

Righty o thanks for the laugh I had tears running down my face and had to take off my glasses at your comment😀😃😄😁

[@righty-o3585]

@@cl6962 lol any time 😁

[@jamesmartin9401]

"Holy Jesus Laser Beams" is the funniest thing I've heard in a month. I'm laughing harder at your story than Gabriel's. I'm crying, I'm laughing so hard.

[@righty-o3585]

@@jamesmartin9401 lol Damn, I left that comment 3 years ago. Forgot about it till now. Glad I could help lol 😁🤘

[@zhuzzir]

Gabe is the best, I've been years hooked with his jokes since the 1st time I stumbled across his on KZbin... Thank you Mr Gabriel Iglesias for all the happiness you brought... Thank you ❤️

[@queso.4726]

😂As a Cuban immigrant I’m so proud reading the comments. I enjoy a lot because I never imagine that this tiny cup of coffe shock the world. Haha, thanks everyone!!!

[@D71219ONE]

I went to Miami this summer for the first time. I ordered coffee, and was so confused when they brought out a thimble sized coffee cup. It was like coffee flavored gasoline. 😂

[@BrandonMontejo305]

i personally enjoy it lol

[@D71219ONE]

@@BrandonMontejo305 Honestly, I’ve started craving it a lot, and I’ve tried to make it at home a few times. It’s not exact, but it tastes pretty close. I didn’t love it when I first tasted it, but now I want it pretty often. It’s weird how things like that happen.

[@ayuwoki453]

As a Cuban I actually got confused when I saw Americans drinking whole glasses of coffee. 😂😂😂

[@LMvdB02]

Do Americans never drink espresso?

[@hankhouke]

I watched a lady make this in Miami, when I lived there. You take a frying pan with 1/4 inch of water at a boil, and you add grounds, slowly while stirring, until you have a thick black paste like barely melted chocolate, then you put a teaspoon of that in the tiny cup and add boiling water to fill. Yes you are drinking the grounds, although some sinks. It kept me up two nights.

[@maxcactus7]

Fluffy is a bona fide national treasure!

[@douglascollins3335]

My grandson and I took a road trip together, and we were listening to Fluffy. It was the first time I heard him. My grandson is 17, and just graduated high school. We left Indianapolis at 9am on July 9th, and drove straight through to Vero Beach, Florida. We listened to a lot of comedy, music, he plays drums, I play guitar, we talked music. It was one fantastic time. So when I listen to Fluffy, it makes me think of our trip together.

[@aaron6924]

I grew up in Miami, I have been to 8th street. Best Cuban food around. When you said u drank a bowl of Cuban coffee I liked to fell off the couch. Ur lucky to have not ended up in the hospital. I so enjoyed this video. Thank u

[@juliamilford1979]

Gabriel is the best, really enjoy everything he does. But Martin.... I want a friend like that in my life, what a fantastic guy!

[@stephanielimongelli1156]

So freaking funny 😃 I never get sick of watching this video... classic!! Thank you Fluffy... 😆

[@kaihendricks1518]

I’ve heard all of these before but They never get old

[@xltaz9828]

exactly

[@henryyancey1117]

They’ve gotten old for me Only because he’s reposted this about a million times

[@cineman-do2rk]

@@henryyancey1117 Not as many times as his girlfriend talking to their dog.

[@ecclestonsangel]

"That is the only way Cubans can make that swim!" I bet you'll think twice before ordering an "ande" again, won't you, Fluffy? ROTFLMAO! This joke kills me every time, especially when he does the pissed off waiter, who sounds an awful lot like Ricky Ricardo!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@Emanuela9]

Lucyyyyyyyy, I'm home!

[@ecclestonsangel]

@@Emanuela9 ROTFL, yes! I keep waiting for Fluffy to do that!

[@georgejohnson6835]

I am from waaaaay north west .. like tip of Alaska... Like you can see Russia's mountains and i loved swimming off key west... I wouldn't even try it with 5 Cuban coffee bowls!😁

[@WLDWRX]

And then Fluffy will go to a normal coffee shop and ask for a shot of coffee only to find out that it is a non-Cuban coffee and is a normal coffee

[@DeadlyDanDaMan]

Well, the actor who played Ricky WAS Cuban, lol.

[@jeffreyes1568]

I remember my first shot of Cuban coffee. That was 19 years ago and im still coming down off that shot

[@LuckyBird551]

Aw, we didn't see the part where he goes "The moment I put down the coffee, I shit my pants."

[@ultimatebishoujo29]

lol

[@King_Matsoube_Lavender]

"Im not a "ito" Im a "Ande"!"

[@metalmario00]

OKAY!!

[@owen1422]

OKAY!!

[@bilalthefighter829]

@@metalmario00 OKAY??

[@bilalthefighter829]

@@owen1422 OKAY??

[@owen1422]

@@bilalthefighter829 OKAY!!

[@sonofozpin1098]

"You call a Cuban anything but Cuban you're gonna get stabbed" **Tony Montana has entered the Chat**

[@mickavellian]

Tony Montana had No fucking Cuban accent. Wanna hear a CUBAN accent talk to my dad.

[@hehheh...8024]

Me:tgis (this] is too funny i know im stupid

[@knutinho2001]

Especially colombian

[@ethanseale3]

4:44 "I'm not a -ito, I'm a -ande." 😅😂🤣 That was funny. If I ever try Cuban coffee, I'll definitely believe what FLUFFY is saying. 🇨🇺☕

[@cristamagsee6206]

Fluffy, you are my all time favorite comedian! You're extremely funny & you don't curse like a drunk Sailor. You're the best in my eyes!

[@diganwhisky.uruguay]

2:00 Germans: Hey fat man, what do we drink?

[@Andeez684]

lol india trip isn't it

[@TrixAnims1990]

Fluffy: I almost died to coffee Me: I almost died to Fluffy telling me how he almost died to coffee

[@NeoSaturos123]

6:11 This may be a well-known phrase in the US, I don't know. Still, I think it's best to explain it for people not knowing Spanish (I'm finishing year 1 of classes of Spanish at college myself). I looked it up, "vaya con Dios" means approximately "may God be with you" or perhaps "may you go with God".

[@victorsalazar1273]

Man Fluffy is so damn funny. If you ever have a chance to see Fluffy I highly recommend doing it, I seen him three times and I love it every time.

[@Hatifrey]

Speaks Spanish "I wonder what he is saying" Turns on subtitles "Speaking in Spanish" TBF I'm on mobil

[@atropa6894]

[Something in Chinese.] [I don't know, I'm just the narrator.]

[@fernandorosales3884]

Write the minutes down, I'll tell you 🤣

[@robertbishop5357]

He's not kidding about Cuban coffee. That shot cup of coffee equals about a pot of American cofecito.

[@grassroots8226]

Gabriel is awesome! One of the best in game.

[@2ATubaKnight]

Once you have Cuban coffee, you never go back! As a college student at UMiami who has constant access to it, it truly works wonders

[@mikenoordhof764]

I think we all learned something today: Never piss off a Cuban😂

[@bobbieblwcstoutxkeb6570]

Basically he orders a large quadruple Cuban coffee against the advice of his offended server not realizing they are served small for a reason

[@gerardligonde4899]

“You call a Cuban anything but a Cuban, you’re gonna get stabbed.”

[@user-yg1hv9fc6t]

as a cuban i can confirm

[@ultimatebishoujo29]

So true

[@ultimatebishoujo29]

@@gerardligonde4899 it’s true

[@rubenreyes4145]

Okay!?, okay!?, okay!?🤣🤣5:28

[@JosePereira-ly5fb]

I hope everyone has a blessed week.

[@codydillon2144]

Legend has it that fluffy hasn't slept from that day since.

[@LunusksiathKallisto]

I could've told you coffee handed in a shot glass is served that way for a reason, Turkish and Armenian coffee is done the same way. I've grown up in a town near Boston where there's a large Middle Eastern population and they too, have a type of coffee like that. Either way, I don't feel it, though, but then again, I was sorta born immune to caffine.

[@TheodoreBrosevelt]

Like a super power

[@amandasmith373]

I've had both Turkish and Cuban coffee, and Cuban coffee is on a whole nother level. Turkish coffee may wake you up a bit, but Cuban coffee is like getting kicked by a donkey

[@nieczerwony]

@@amandasmith373 @Amanda Smith Depends where did you get that. I am coffee maniac and proper Turkish coffee kicks as a mule. Same with Cuban or espresso (but rather south Italy). Key is to choose Robusta coffee beans and just lightly roasted. Robusta contains up to 4 times more caffeine then Arabica. The longer the roast the more caffeine is lost. Now most people go for really dark coffee as they think this will be stronger. Dark coffee has more aroma and flavor but not caffeine. My advice is also to use theanine after your coffee and also grapefruit juice. First will take away the effect of getting shaky and overhyped mind (like 100 thought in a second experience), grapefruit has flavanoid called naringin. It blocks certain enzymes in liver who are responsible for digesting caffeine. Do we can increase effect of caffeine by over a half. Naringin also blocks cortisol production hence it will further decrease anxiety effect of caffeine.

[@Chris.Pontius]

I think most people around the globe know this.

[@miahempel7991]

How cool! Thank you for the information, my fellow coffee maniac!

[@FrankMontes24]

One time, I ordered an iced Cuban coffee for the first time, listed on a local cafe’s menu as “El Cubano”. The barista accidentally made it hot. He felt bad so he let me keep it for free and made a fresh iced one. While I was waiting for the iced coffee, I started to work on the hot one so I wouldn’t have to carry two cups. Of course, knowing myself, I chugged down what had to be the boldest coffee I’ve ever had. Keep in mind, I have never tried it before. I pour the rest of the hot coffee into the iced drink and start to walk home from school one Friday. Unfortunately, it was also 98 degrees that day, so I chugged the iced coffee down. What happened next was the worst caffeine rush I’ve ever experienced. No pre-workout made by man can top how wired I was for two fucking days non-stop. Luckily, it was spring break the following week so I spend a day and a half sleeping it off

[@barbaraharrison3014]

I 💕 this guy the first time I heard him I laughed so hard I cried as he told the story about his son my stomach hurt as tears fell lol!!!!!!

[@abskhairoun]

I like how many people relate to funny stories on youtube in the comment section. Really brings people together

[@Darkd33]

1:45 the one audio part of the test

[@VastIceGaming]

Funny AF. Reminds me of Ralphie May's Cuban coffee story from his Austin-Tatious special. He actually made the same mistake of demanding a full-size cup of the stuff and nearly had a heart attack after consuming it. Then he almost had another one when he got the bill. $58 for approximately 16 oz of Cuban coffee. May he rest in peace.

[@leitakcoc]

That’s what I was thinking 😂

[@glenk.4124]

Just saw that clip today then saw this title for fluffy and had to watch it to make sure it wasn’t a rip off, I love both comedians

[@K.Spade7902]

Ralphie May RIP 🙏

[@jacobrobinson787]

wait, Ralphie May's dead? When?

[@VastIceGaming]

@@jacobrobinson787 He passed away in 2017.

[@reggaespiritdance]

Love your timing!

[@smlchristian3]

1:40 I have Puerto Rican coworkers and I can confirm this to be true.

[@evilqueen515]

Fluffy makes me smile in this lonely life I have since I m stuck at home 24/7 alone to stay well. He's always been one of the funniest comedians I've ever seen and have been watching comedians for many years! 😂❤️

[@angeldust1757]

Exited for the premiere! Honestly this guy is the funniest person😂💕✌

[@DariuzYTC]

Ik right

[@blackheartthedarklord6428]

Excited*

[@Sofia-kq1wd]

Yep

[@Emanuela9]

His impersonations are spot on 🇲🇽🇨🇺🇵🇷🇦🇺🇮🇳🇩🇪

[@angeldust1757]

@@therisj when I commented that, this video wasn't out yet👍

[@anonymous_hulk]

Spot on Mr. Fluffy. This is one of your funniest skits 😂

[@brikshoe6259]

Fluffy is awesome, always, in every venue.

[@matthews1499]

2:52 el negro I AM DEAD 💀🤣😂😅

[@COWTEEN]

My new text tone

[@anthonyarrigo2202]

Too funny "Make that swim" Still laughing

[@hindj9142]

What swim ?😭😂I didn’t get this joke

[@cynthiakozikowski1765]

This is absolutely hilarious. His Cuban accent is spot on

[@junedaisy707]

Not at all

[@andyshistorylessons8278]

I remember when my dad heard the part where Fluffy says he drank the whole bowl of Cafecito. My dad was like, “You’re gonna’ be UP for DAYS.”

[@officialbrandonquinn]

@3:08 omg "I thought the partition was tinted.."; yall I almost hurt my ribs from laughing