Can't type Chinese with office computer The worst thing you can do to a person's self esteem is to strip away their accountability and responsibility, IE: "nothing is your fault", "your action doesn't contribute to the state of your well-being", "your choice doesn't matter". It takes away the control a person have in life, or make people believe that there is no hope, they can only live with the help coming from outside of their reach. There is nothing more insulting to tell a fully functioning adult that "you will never have the power to improve your life", you are making a victim out of nothing. There is a reason why the welfare system only keeps poor community poor in America, but the poverty-lifting program works well in China.