dating as a trans person

[@monkemads]

I put this video on while it’s 9:30 am and it’s cold out of my bed so I put my arms back under the covers and just listened and I fell back to sleep thank you I’m so cozy

[@mnelo]

im mrs melatonin 🎉

[@Offizierdav]

broo im falling asleep too tf

[@caseyzx]

dating is so difficult because i always feel like it's doomed to fail for various reasons so i just never even try to

[@Helperbot-2000]

ah, ol' reliable: 1) give up 2) ??? 3) dont profit relatable

[@seriphan399]

Mood. Can’t fail if you never even tried in the first place 😎

[@thetova6232]

Are the various reasons you not trying?

[@caseyzx]

@@thetova6232 i mean technically yeah you could say its a self fulfilling prophecy but what led me to make this decision to not seek is my own insecurities surrounding my weight and gender (i.e. not passing) and that no partner would find me attractive for those reasons (mostly the weight i suppose) so i just stay on the sidelines another thing is it just is hard to find a person i truly feel like i click with yknow? a lot of people is just "theyre a nice friend but i wouldnt want them to be my partner"

[@Emileave]

@@caseyzx have you invested in aromanticism? Or hinge. Hinge is great when you turn off men. Or if you like men… pray for a trans man

[@yoshiplasma]

being a straight t4t trans girl is a living hell

[@Sadboypeter]

Straight t4t as in dating trans men? Sorry if this seems disrespectful

[@nuggeteater69]

doesnt that make u gay

[@oqutem]

skill issue

[@fakeillya]

​@@Sadboypeter yep, I'm pretty sure this is what she meant

[@Sadboypeter]

@fakeillya okay thank you :]

[@FyruHawk]

As much as I wouldn't really care about if my partner is trans or not, I'm actually really glad that my girlfriend is trans because of all that understanding stuff you mentioned. But another great thing about t4t is that our brains kind of function the same way, so it's not just the trans stuff that we get about each other, but it's also how we enjoy things in general. I love my girlfriend so much :3

[@SPUNKOAVA]

It’s such a struggle. it’s hard to find cis men who aren’t into you solely due to you being “exotic”

[@emogirlrosie]

From my experience, they definitely exist, you just have to sort through all the weirdos and hateful people which sucks but once you find the right guy it's totally worth it imo

[@Helperbot-2000]

well i'd say i'm an example :P

[@Fascism_Is_One_Helluva_Drug]

@@emogirlrosie what's the difference between a man who exclusively wants to date a trans women and a man who is into you solely due to you being, "exotic?" Do you feel more validated as a trans woman when a straight guy is into you, instead of a guy who exclusively likes trans women?

[@SonySteals]

There is always something “exotic” about it for cis men because it’s a bit new experience for many guys especially 30+ dudes. But I kbow what you mean. Fk chasers basically, I agree. I’m cis het my gf is trans het and I wished she wasn’t trans when she told me about it 8 years (before it got serious) and as an older guy (32 at the time) I was super lost in the situation, had to learn a lot and had to search inside myself how do I really feel about it. We’re still together, living together and rather happy to be with each other despite my initial confusion. What I’m trying to say here I guess is that some people need to process things and aren’t necessarily closed to options they don’t yet know or fully understand. ❤

[@OmgItsTheBull]

What do you mean by exotic? Not trying to offend anyone. Genuinely just want to know.

[@SoulsBaddie]

My chances of dating as a trans girl in high school are pretty much 0, so I'm trying to come to terms with that.

[@zoinksxp]

Me too twin it’s rough out here. Despite being in a “progressive” area cis ppl still don’t wanna date me and there aren’t any trans girls around my age😭

[@natehuth64]

Glad that you've come to terms with it, you'll be experiencing it the rest of your life. : o )

[@estrelaras]

​@@natehuth64whats ur problem lmao

[@Emileave]

@@zoinksxp cis ppl are scary. I just waited until uni and ive met my lover. Its amazing! Recommend uni (only outside america)

[@Emileave]

To clarify… im in gay city for uni. So thats probably why

[@pleurnicheuse1]

Heck yea, i love your videos while draw, i could listen for hours!

[@Genevieve111]

Absolutely... sames.

[@bernicethedispleasedgull]

i listen to your videos to dissociate as i drive home from work at the end of the day, its very calming

[@buggle6118]

applies to genuinely feminine looking femboys too, 95% of people are weird cringe creeps that see my existence as a fetish

[@JohnWall-lj1mx]

Idk what you were expecting since you likely knew of the online culture and went down that rabbit hole regardless

[@thetova6232]

As someone who really likes trans girl it is not a fetish if they think of you as a person, I don't like the fact that I like trans girl because so far 85 present of everyone I have been with we trans girl and for a while I was so so scared I was a cheser or fetishing trans girl but then I realized you can't fetishes somone you truly care about and see as a person

[@nicold1]

im watching this after a machine girl concert

[@emogirlrosie]

Great video as always! E-dating honestly gets too much hate, you can form really amazing relationships online. I met my boyfriend ON REDDIT OF ALL PLACES and now we're an extremely happy couple and have met a couple times and it's made my life so much better. Obviously be safe if you're talking to people online but it's really just as valid an option as any other form of meeting someone

[@kony2494]

gambling is also great if you are the one out of a milion who won, your opinion is the same way, you are blind to the luck factor involved

[@emogirlrosie]

@kony2494 no I'm very aware of how lucky I got, I'll never deny that. I met SO many shit people before meeting the right person, and trust me it wasn't easy dealing with all that. I was in an awful place before I met my current boyfriend, but I think it was all worth it in the end. You can avoid dating if you'd like, there definitely is no guarantee you will find someone right if you do, but that's just how life is. You'll never know if you don't take that risk, it's up to you to decide if going through heartbreak after heartbreak will be worth it for the chance at having genuine companionship

[@estrelaras]

​@@kony2494 i mean whats ur point exactly... im pretty sure u can meet shitty ppl irl too u just always gotta be careful

[@GBLtheMOTH]

​@@kony2494gambling is awful because if you are not really lucky you'll lose stuff. In trying out meeting people on any platform you don't lose anything but you can potentially gain a good connection with someone. it's not a valid comparison

[@kony2494]

@@estrelaras well she said that e dating is great and people shouldnt jusge it, its definitelly worse than dating irl and the fact that she has a boyfriend she found online doesnt mean its great alternative to normal dating people irl

[@BaileyM666]

Your voice is actually very soothing 😊 ive only ever dated cis people because i dont know any other people irl like me to even try t4t dating, that lonely life yo 😅

[@kacperkawecki1850]

Hey i just wanted to say that i love your videos and they really mean a lot to me theres something really empowering seeing you talk so openly about yourself it gives me a lot of confidence to see you not playing up how perfect everything is and just talking to a camera

[@kacperkawecki1850]

Also your voice is not annoying at all it actually is really nice imho

[@kacperkawecki1850]

Like i cant really put the finger on why is that but you really make me feel like im enough compared to sanitized picture perfect content that other trans content creators make (not to this diss on them they do cool shit that makes me feel good in different ways) but i really feel like your videos are important to me and i hope that you truly know that they are so much more than just sleeping aid

[@Emileave]

@@kacperkawecki1850 yeah when she says stuff like ‘shag’ i feel at home

[@EvanflowDDT]

I am very lucky in that I was already married when I realized I was trans and she is very supportive. The idea of dating as a 37 year old trans girl would scare the shit out of me. Haha. Melanie, your eye makeup is so gorgeous!

[@rz3den]

luv how true is yr content omgg

[@user-he2dh9bi8l]

I watched this video at work. I got paid to listen to your calming voice thank you

[@MaxIsEast]

your vids are forever comfy, watched while painting my nails

[@alicemikuu]

"i'm very happy that trans people exist so i can date them" 😭 you're so real for that

[@Luke-ep7zk]

Literally me

[@witonisaurus]

I'm a recently out-of-the-closet MtF... For one, this video was great to listen to while playing Tetris! Second, it was mad relateable. I'm 24 now and dating just wasn't very fun as a "guy" but now the prospect of dating is both scary and exciting. I think the fear comes from my own internalized transphobia and homophobia but the more I go out and socialize as my authentic self, the more I realize there are plenty of people who really do love me for the person I want to be. I'm still in a very insecure and shaky place when it comes to my own feelings about myself and my looks (as well as my relationships with women, both platonic and romantic), but I truly think things are only going to get so much better and more clear as I continue to explore my identity. Thank you for this channel and sharing your thoughts, if for some reason you find yourself in the American SouthWest I would gladly befriend you and give a big supportive T4T hug

[@Grim_Jesus]

I'm not transgender, but I can relate to it being very hard to date as I'm schizophrenic. Please don't give up on finding the right partner though, there is and will always be someone that'll love you for who you are.

[@JayIsCommon]

Everyone fw melanie 🙏 the goat/fox 🐐 🦊

[@UnBlue]

It is crazy how I thought t4t was like a game company this whole time. Thanks for teaching me something new.

[@RL_Jansson]

i watched this video with my undivided attention and its the best ive seen of yours yet

[@ranhernan15]

Your such a lovely soul and know you videos get multiple views from me falling asleep to them after first watching them.

[@Fern_2019]

Ever since I transitioned (on the internet and to my family) dating's been a struggle lol. Can't date irl because it would be based on a lie (they would date me because they think I'm a guy as I haven't transitioned publicly yet) but online dating/long distance is not that much of an option for me cause I think it's unfair for the possible partner (I don't feel comfortable preventing them from forming a physical relationship because they are talking with me). So yeah, it's been harder than I expected.

[@kailynarf]

i have been feeling not very well recently due to health related stuff happening but i managed to cheer myself up by jamming out on my piano and listening to u yap

[@dan5992]

i remember trying to come out online, i was desperate to find people to talk to because im all alone in this. i made a post on some forum and some guy asked me to talk on discord. i thought i could talk to him about trans related stuff but he kept bringing the conversation back to things like what i look like and asking if i have girls clothes and asking for photos of me. it just emanates this feeling of that i'm all alone in this and the best i could get was a guy jacking it to the thought of me wearing a dress. or not even "me", but just a trans person that can be substituted. i'm back in my cocoon now with the feeling still lingering in my head. it feels so gross. i keep wishing for this magic button to change my life and teleport me to an accepting environment, but it's not real. i know that very well. its so awful to look in the mirror and see a guy instead. its never been about anything inappropriate at all, but looking online makes me feel that way.

[@ohnonotthegoldfish3559]

it's nice to see another trans person online talking about dating as a trans person, thank you for sharing. admittedly my experience is a little skewed as a trans man who hasnt dated before but it does worry me, since the "dating pool" is very small and the local trans community feels like being in a small town where everybody knows everybody, and it's meant that if some people dont get along, it can create a whole schism. But personally i just kinda push it off to the side bc im more interested in being friends with trans people especially in such a small country and bc being trans is awesum, and im a bit scared to try dating a cis person bc it sometimes feels like i'd never be able to find someone who meets the bare minimum of not being transphobic and is also interested 😭. dont really know where im going with this comment but i just wanted to type something considering a lot of trans people can be very lonely and it does well to hear other trans people's experiences

[@moumou0161]

w melanie w yap session good luck with dating vro

[@NOVAScOoT]

Listened to this while cleaning my room, thanks

[@tabelinda]

At 52 years old I have given up on dating I'm probably never going to find anybody because its so difficult and frustrating when you have to constantly explain your different

[@DepressedLaughter]

Hope you feel better Melanie!

[@juord]

i sometimes would rather be asexual but i do honestly only wanna date another transgirl, i havent transitioned i still look like a cis male but for future reference thats where my preferences would go towards

[@pelkerkes]

it's really important to note that t4t doesn't mean a perfect relationship JUST because you're both trans despite all the benefits that come with it, trans people still can be manipulative and abusive i only ever dated two people after my gender identity shifted away from cis fruity nerdy guy and i fell in that trap, i dated the sweetest autistic theatre kid trans guy; i think i would not be subject to that much abuse if i didnt justify a lot of the manipulations with "he's better than everyone else, i gotta obey". it's very easy to look at queer communities and by contrast assume that all the people in there are great and amazing, and some of them really are, but don't let your guard down y'all

[@mioirelxxx3470]

Nice to see you again Melanie! You are sooo cute!!!

[@jessicobra7]

t4t tgirl here i watched this video while playing factorio thank you

[@mnelo]

@@jessicobra7 hi jessicobra

[@puglifeforever8345]

Good ass game

[@wuthapun41]

future job in tech industry type game

[@MarkusIfquil]

literally doing the same thing lmao space age goes hard

[@seapot9675]

the factory must grow

[@boosay1146]

I'm not trans or anything but videos like these help me understand trans people more

[@DrOz-007]

Yep, same here.

[@novice.328]

not even a trans person but chasers just sound like such terrible people to be around, sorry you had to deal with that

[@Sumde]

honestly dating anyone can be hard for anyone

[@cordedwaif]

🤯

[@buried4430]

It is. I’m a cis bi guy and I’ve never been in a relationship, I’ve been close enough but not actually in one. I don’t know if it’s me that finds it difficult to relate to people or if people just don’t understand me. It gets to a point where I sometimes feel like a shitty person by being bored with conversations. Sometimes I do think that maybe dating just isn’t for me.

[@labcoatlad513]

people when they find out minorities struggle more 🤕

[@trueluscao]

​@@buried4430your entire comment was very relatable

[@AlpayKunduz]

I opened a tab on the side while betting, you brought luck :D by the way your voice is very nice, it really makes restful sleep I listen to your videos near bedtime.

[@SJdrumz]

I LOVE YOUR SHIRTTT, bladee is so fire

[@Blvck_October_93]

Just gonna comment about how much I fw you on every video

[@myguy9320]

i wanted more about dating a trans person as a cis person but yeah... all is not well in the world these past few weeks

[@arlwiss5110]

unrelated but i always enjoy your videos

[@princesslinkin7587]

"i sit in my room on my computer all day" can u be my role model pls i wanna be just like u when i grow up fr

[@mnelo]

i think anyone can do what i do

[@Emileave]

T4T is amazing. But, with every relationship, you have to deeply communicate what you want. trans femmes are usually more accepting and less… cis. Aka, dull and uncomfortable, in my view (love to my cissy friends, ofc)

[@convenientEstelle]

Ok so I'm glad that like the fake "just saying we're together" thing is not something that only happened to me, because before coming out as trans that was my only experience of going out with someone. As for the rest, I can't really speak to dating because I don't like dating. Not because I'm asexual or aromantic but I just can't stand the concept at all.

[@theswissmiss69]

Dating is hard… feeling that people dislike you just because you exist is heavy.

[@OmgItsTheBull]

So your looking to date not hookup? Are you on Reddit?

[@TowgPowerPlay]

dating for me is like getting gaslit

[@floodspace]

you are pretty

[@PetraBrown]

We can like and respect a fellow Trans person, we don’t have to be in-love though❤ It is a chance thing that we eventually fall in love❤ Kind regards to you Petra

[@ArimaSenne1]

when you're 0.1% of the population and only feel safe with 0.05% of the population yep its over

[@johncolvin2754]

Your cool as fk quine make me wish I was young again😂

[@Genevieve111]

Sorry to go off topic Luv... but you look very similar Susanna Hoffs... ❤

[@sr.krokodilo8159]

melatonin and webfishing? wow what a great day :D

[@PetraBrown]

It’s security of sorts T for T Melanie❤ Lol from Petra

[@user-qh4dv9mw9g]

You are not a mess you look hot just the way you are?!

[@sparkee666]

I like this girl, good vids

[@Soroosh.S83]

🤯

[@Barf-f4z]

She's so hot I would love to kiss her her voice makes me crazy 💞😍💞

[@videomanager5433]

not plugging my video ! _plugs video_

[@Im_actually_a.shark_]

T4t for life

[@129degrees]

right off the bat this looks like a video from 2009 or something

[@gandttv8044]

almost 10 k subs u literally famous bro

[@NoName-cz7wd]

I'm lonely too lol

[@seriphan399]

Aren’t we all

[@reijin999]

try dating as a bisexual boymoder 😂

[@Offizierdav]

2005 cam vibe

[@Sepazuzu]

I would date you :)

[@elliewp]

hi melanie bye melanie

[@MrSpudlet]

Atleaat being pan means I have an open field 😂😂😂

[@JayIsCommon]

Dating bread

[@DuckleJungle]

i find trans people attracktive but i would never date them simply how sociaity and my family would look at trans relationship

[@Ajisukitakahikone]

So you like girls?

[@deadgiancarlo]

@0:05 who would've thought

[@theJellyjoker]

🫂

[@LukaLukaDayFever]

everyone is lonely

[@Famelhaut]

birtish :c

[@SoulsBaddie]

birtish :c

[@Creature---]

shes chill tho ^⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠_⁠^

[@janehellsing]

i wuld date u :333

[@mnelo]

thats very nice of u jane

[@janehellsing]

@@mnelo ;)

[@TevhoBend]

>:3

[@RobertMesa-fu9oy]

Im a male who likes feminine clothing

[@willshields4480]

do you fw dudes who make 18.50 an hour

[@thetova6232]

18.5 of what? An apple?

[@willshields4480]

@@thetova6232 australian dollars, the best kind

[@trueluscao]

18:50 hours in military time?

[@mnelo]

get it to 19 then maybee

[@Barf-f4z]

All I want for Christmas is a petite teen trans girls that love older men 💞😍💞

[@JawslinEdwards]

Lucky you lol. Before I understood I was trans I dated 5 girls in about 15 years. The first ended very painfully when I was 7. She was killed in front of me. I was put in a chair and went mad. Like straight jacket mad. I'm not supposed to be able to walk but I did regardless of my spine being split. I found as long as there's some noise solitary confinement can be peaceful and I loved the food. Without sound the silence is to laud to handle. But I still feel her inside. I went many years not being with anyone. I really wasn't in the right mindset. That and having your dead girlfriend pop up over your shoulder on a fuzzy TV screen calling your name from time to time tends to throw a cerv ball in to things. When I did try again it didn't end up like my first 2 through 4 I can only say I'm glad they're over. 5. Here's loyalty for you. That 1 dream that wakes you up from a dead sleep? Yes that dream. Mine was just me and my 5th girlfriend at her parents house with every way in blocked off and we just rolled around on the floor in each other's arms. Then my eyes popped open and I looked under the cover and said.... ah crap! But I found out she was afraid of me because of people lying to her. So I walked away after I realized I'm transgender I dated a girl I only remember as Sweetpee. It was awesome and then she turned on me and split. I still don't understand why. But what I didn't know was in a group of friends I hung out with there was a girl that was always around but never really talked. She was just always there. The day Sweetpee dumped me this shy girl tried very hard to cheer me up. But she didn't speak much English. She was Dutch. She had a job as a DJ. She would mix records and burn them onto cd's and play them in night clubs. We would talk almost all day trying to understand each other. I was still in shock she liked me. Our friends thought it was funny as hell listening to us trying to talk to each other. So our friends would have little parties they would invite us to just so they can listen from the other room. We got so close we did everything together and we started driving our friends nuts because we started sounding like a married couple yelling at each other and making up. They didn't invite us to many of their parties anymore because we was always together and they didn't understand what we were saying to each other anymore because it wasn't Dutch or English anymore and we fought a lot. We even stopped a pro soccer game that we weren't a part of because we were arguing on the field. We didn't even know where we were. And somehow we still ended up in each other's arms at the end of the day. 15 years it lasted until she came clean about getting married 3 years into our relationship. I wish I never knew she got married.