Dating in your 20s (and why it's hard) | Coffee Talk ☕️

[@sanaaaam]

you should read 'all about love' by bell hooks, it's a great book on how our loveless society is in dire need of love (not only in the romantic sense)

[@VietnamvsThao]

Hi, I came across your video because of your title talking about dating in your 20s. I just experienced violence from online dating in my 20s as well . I met him outside for a coffee meeting / coffee meeting, and my drink was $1.50. I received a violent action from the man. It's been two days, and I'm still haunted. I cried all over. I need to use sleeping pills in order to sleep, and then I dreamed about it and was crying in my dream again.

[@tskoobyful]

I personally blame social media for causing such a issue with how dating culture is now. I find myself doom swapping on these dating apps, but ends up like this. I might get a match only to be ghosted by the end of the week, half the times I don't get a reason why. Another issue as well when I go in public places I figure most women I attempt to talk with are either A) in a relationship or B) are uninterested in communicating. I will always start small talk and see what goes from there but majority of the times it goes nowhere. I believe everyone is so media saturated to really understand what it is like to be in the moment with someone to actually communicate with a person to person face to face. Moral of story for me is I been trying what seems like to be my entire 20s but have been denied so many times and have had my heart broken back to back that is it even worth attempting?

[@laurenceroy-michel188]

on a la même vision du dating😇 stay true to yourself and your feelings even though the dating scene is hostile

[@shaniadeblois]

Merci tellement pour ce commentaire rassurant. Contente de savoir que je ne suis pas seule à me sentir comme ça! We’re all in this together❤️

[@yesand5536]

Sounds to me that you are hanging around, and may be yourself, risk averse people. Likely those who want to be perfect before finding someone etc, is also bound by a perfectionist upbringing. Here's a question: say you do nothing about any of this, for this is a comfortable space, what happens when you hit 35, which really isn't that far away. In fact, by 32, having someone you want to move in with is where you can develop those deeper bonds so that when you have kids, you are resilient with your partner to stick together and not divorce (divorce being highly non-child centric). As you said, you're guilty of this as much as anyone else, which is great to admit. So what will YOU do to break out of the comfortable hedging bets and not revealing to anyone. And you don't have to be blatant and say "I want you to be the X of my kids". Very people go that literal. Here's a way: as you meet people (not online) in groups or interests, and they have a spark of something, connect with that. See where it goes. Get messy together. You aren't perfect and neither will he be. Say that you have no problem accepting their red flags and you'll open up yours. There may be a whole generation who would prefer to stay childless if it means they don't have to feel uncomfortable. Which is fine. They will get their success, and if you stay in that group, you will too, by doing nothing. And if that works for you, then you will likely not be a mother, and they will likely not be a dad. Doesn't sound like this is satisfying, and at 25, it's a prime time to understand others, by trying out relationships. Just push one area of comfort and see how you go. Do more of that and you'll find yourself with someone in the end because you have road tested your levels of risk, and know who is authentic for the long-haul and who isn't. Hope this helps, even if you weren't asking for it!

[@bananapeek4612]

Someone tell me that it’s gonna be okay ..

[@iamdaniellla]

It’s going to be okay ❤

[@bananapeek4612]

@@iamdaniellla Thank you :)

[@danman3163]

About the "Saying that I`m looking for a partner to share my life with, scares people away sometimes": I have a male perspective, and the moment I saw your face, within 0.1 seconds my mind went "This woman has had a bunch of hookups". So as far as I can tell, other dudes can also sense this. So therefore: The dudes who want a long term wife/partner, they don't date you at all. They walk the other way. So the people you date, probably don't mind the hookups, because they want the hookups. And then you say: "I want long term, not just hookups", and this is not what they want at all. In short: The combination of your apparent history and your current desires, don't appeal to either the guys who just wanna have fun, and it don't appeal to the guys looking for a wife/long term either. So I don't know if there is a solution to this predicament.

[@shaniadeblois]

That’s very judgmental of you. You don’t know anything about me and first thing you thought of was the number of people I’ve potential been intimate with. That proves exactly my point. People don’t take the time to know one another and just assume things about people…

[@AndreaDiaz-rc3iy]

@@shaniadebloissay it girlll

[@chillriri]

I feel like we all share the same experience with dating. People are scared to feel and it’s almost asking too much to have a true and meaningful connection with someone. On doit garder nos cœurs ouverts malgré tout 🫶🏽