Dating Men Helps You Get Women (

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Alayna Joy

Alayna Joy

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 456
@AlaynaJoyOfficial
@AlaynaJoyOfficial 2 жыл бұрын
This video was IMMEDIATELY age-restricted upon posting. WHY KZbin WHY?!! It would be a huge help to me if you'd like/comment/share this one over and above the usual. I hate asking for this directly, but I adore this video and don't want the algorithm to kill it 😭🌈
@lunavalpassos9324
@lunavalpassos9324 2 жыл бұрын
This video is way to good, not even the algorithm would dare to kill it
@ireallyreallyhategoogle
@ireallyreallyhategoogle 2 жыл бұрын
Of course Alayna, always happy to like and comment, but i have nowhere and no one to share with. I think it could be because of the sponsor, but KZbin being KZbin, it could just be because of the lesbians.
@joegoss30
@joegoss30 2 жыл бұрын
@@ireallyreallyhategoogle I'm sure it was all about the awkward age difference... :) :) :)
@ireallyreallyhategoogle
@ireallyreallyhategoogle 2 жыл бұрын
@@joegoss30 KZbin is censoring age differences now? I mean, Mak's over 18, right?
@Arrowgrab
@Arrowgrab 2 жыл бұрын
Making this video age-restricted is absolutely nonsensical. YT, what the hell is wrong with you?
@SevgiMungan
@SevgiMungan 2 жыл бұрын
Mak telling Alayna a story from her past and Alayna coming up with A+ observations, I’m like “yes this girl’s done therapy 👏🏻”
@dannafernandez3987
@dannafernandez3987 Жыл бұрын
I was LOVING every second
@rosieblyther444
@rosieblyther444 2 жыл бұрын
The way Alayna describes her friendship with her ex is exactly how one of my exes and I are. Like it feels like we confused friendship for something more so it was just easier to be friends than romantic partners so it actually felt more natural to make that transition.
@hanquokkasan
@hanquokkasan 2 жыл бұрын
Same!! My best friend and I met online (he’s from France and I’m in the U.S.) and I feel like when we first started talking we both had this idea that it’s not possible for us to just be friends because we are a guy and a girl so romantic feelings got involved but eventually we realized that we are WAYYY better as friends and now he is my best friend, he has a gf who actually is into him and I’m a lesbian lol
@hwernie
@hwernie 2 жыл бұрын
I feel like Alanya would make a great therapist
@sunlightheaded
@sunlightheaded 2 жыл бұрын
I genuinely feel like that's her calling
@annacamila_
@annacamila_ 2 жыл бұрын
I feel that too! She’s very aware of herself and very sensible too. She would be an incredible psychologist
@DjurslandsEfterskole
@DjurslandsEfterskole 2 жыл бұрын
Or a LGBTQ+ coach! That'd be awesome!
@livbrooks4194
@livbrooks4194 2 жыл бұрын
i think that was a career path option for her at one time! i remember she was going for her masters i think in psychology!
@jenniferdivine1115
@jenniferdivine1115 Жыл бұрын
This aged well
@JulietteVeronica1201
@JulietteVeronica1201 2 жыл бұрын
Personally for me the label lesbian felt so much less restrictive when I realized a lot of my "what if I fall in love with a man" was an internalized feeling of wanting to fit in *and* the stereotype that lesbians hate men. For some reason society is accepting when gay men and straight girls talk about how pretty other girls are and how fascinating they are, but for straight guys that's "gay" when they do it to other guys and for lesbians it sounds like they're faking being a lesbian when they talk about guys. When in reality it's all bullshit and you're allowed to have fascination of other human beings without wanting to fuck them.
@watsonandbscuriousdays
@watsonandbscuriousdays 2 жыл бұрын
Yeeeeeesss!!
@kyogurtstar
@kyogurtstar 2 жыл бұрын
This summarizes how I feel about my label perfectly as well, thank you for sharing! This needs to be addressed more!
@caseysmith6352
@caseysmith6352 2 жыл бұрын
As a lesbian I can absolutely appreciate a good looking man but I'd never want to date him. If I did feel like I wanted to date him, I'd be bi or pan, not a lesbian and that would be fine! Just like you said, gay men can notice a beautiful woman without wanting to date her! And if he did want to date her, he'd be bi or pan and not gay and that would be fine!! But lesbians do not date men and gay men do not date women!
@mexislife5272
@mexislife5272 2 жыл бұрын
Exactly that! Well said
@peapod5829
@peapod5829 2 жыл бұрын
@@caseysmith6352 wow thanq!! Finally someone with some sense. If you are a woman attracted to men and women, then you are bisexual. Why does it have to be so complicated. Lesbians do exist! By lesbians I mean women that are strictly attracted to women only! I think because of these bisexual women who label themselves as "lesbians" lesbians are not taken seriously when they come out to men and this is one of the biggest reasons why men think they can sleep with a lesbian and turn her bisexual or straight. Please leave lesbians alone. Be proud of who you are. There is nothing wrong in discovering that you like men too and when you thought you were attracted to only women, that is called bisexuality and you are not a lesbian.
@guardmommad5084
@guardmommad5084 2 жыл бұрын
I started watching your channel because my daughter is a baby gay and in her first serious relationship. Thought I might find advice for the issues that they're having. She goes to school with Mak and says all the girls have a crush on her 😁 Love when you two get together ❤️
@sarahmarkworth3808
@sarahmarkworth3808 2 жыл бұрын
When you came up with the theory based on Mak's high school experiences, I realized something about myself. I identify as a lesbian and haven't dated men at all but I constantly find myself wanting to be attractive to men. I think I really do think that the more men find me attractive, the more my confidence goes up due to me believing I'm appealing to women because men like me. I now am questioning everything
@lisje2496
@lisje2496 2 жыл бұрын
Wow, I just realized that though I am not attracted to men and I know I am not, when there is a guy of around my age, whom I can see is conventionally attractive, I start feeling and acting a bit differently around this person. Because in the back of my mind there is something thinking "you should be feeling something for this person, he may flirt, is anyone else watching? Just stay calm and act unsuspicious." Whatever that means. lol And maybe there is a tiny part of me that indeed seeks male validation, I seem to somehow enjoy a little attention, however as soon as they obviously start flirting I just cringe on the inside and want to.. I don't know? run away? I just get this weird feeling of "ahhhh I don't want this"!!!
@known_film4081
@known_film4081 Жыл бұрын
am i the only lesbian that only wants attention from women but keep getting it from men ? cuz i am in hell right now .
@FocusedFighter777
@FocusedFighter777 Жыл бұрын
It's weird because I never felt good when any men found me attractive. It's gross. However, if a man finds me SMART, that made me feel good. FINALY SEEN.
@laragazzaviola80
@laragazzaviola80 2 жыл бұрын
The way Mak reacts to Alayna explaining things is exactly me! "I knew that but didn't know how to say it" literally
@alexe5606
@alexe5606 2 жыл бұрын
I know right it's such a nice feeling to hearing it out loud!
@catherine_dong
@catherine_dong 2 жыл бұрын
ever-appreciative of alayna’s ability to verbalize elusive feelings!! hoping the algorithm is still willing to pick this one up
@bigmcg7484
@bigmcg7484 2 жыл бұрын
The perfect balance between gay chaos and deep discussions in this video ✨
@audreyannaorage
@audreyannaorage 2 жыл бұрын
das how we love ittt
@rachaelfraser1775
@rachaelfraser1775 2 жыл бұрын
The question about labels had such good answers, I've always self-identified as bi or pan but I've found a lot of comfort in just labelling myself as queer because my attraction to different sexes ebbs and flows and sometimes i feel more bi and other times I feel more like lesbian, it's such a spectrum and I'm learning a lot
@CloverLovesTT
@CloverLovesTT 2 жыл бұрын
lesbians are not attracted to men in any way 💀 you can’t just “sometimes” feel lesbian like we’re some kind of aesthetic
@KillerOfWhales
@KillerOfWhales Жыл бұрын
@@CloverLovesTTSo sometimes their attracted to men a little bit and other times it really doesn’t feel like they are at all? So lesbian doesn’t feel completely right to them. Way to miss the point, I guess
@shannonbolton6005
@shannonbolton6005 2 жыл бұрын
Haha “you have stronger fingers than I do”… there it is Alayna you are no longer a “baby” gay. You have graduated. It’s all in the fingers! 💋🏳️‍🌈💋
@matthijsclaessen8152
@matthijsclaessen8152 2 жыл бұрын
I'm friends with my ex now... but it took ten years of practically never seeing eachother before the hurt was gone and I was able to just see her as a friend again and as a person I genuinely wish the best. (We separated gracefully after being together for 7 years.) (old cis-het-man)
@itsnotphases
@itsnotphases 2 жыл бұрын
Can’t wait for the collab with Ashley AND Mak 😩
@claireioannou4007
@claireioannou4007 2 жыл бұрын
I never ever get disappointed with how Alayna is using words to describe something in the best way possible to really put you in the position of realization! Thank you so much girl I find your videos really enlightening! 🙏🏻
@Krissixxyz
@Krissixxyz 2 жыл бұрын
I love the energy when you and Mak get together. There needs to be a collab with you two and Ashley Gavin all together.
@terrihoover5665
@terrihoover5665 Жыл бұрын
As someone who is getting my masters degree in counseling and as someone who identifies as a lesbian who dated men when I was young...your analysis of Mak's theory of dating men to attract women was amazing. I only recently have found your videos and the two of you are some very intellectual young ladies. Keep up the great conversations.
@lunavalpassos9324
@lunavalpassos9324 2 жыл бұрын
Seeing you just posted this video makes me wanna cry. Love when you two are together
@vicsters07
@vicsters07 2 жыл бұрын
I agree with the ex answer. When me and my ex broke up (it was also my first official relationship with a woman) it was really long and drawn out also she said she wanted to remain friends so I tried, it was the first lockdown so we didn't see each other but we did message and call and I found it hard, I was also going through a pretty hard time mentally and so after several months of pretending I was fine it came to a point that I blew up at her, said a lot of things I regret. 2 years later we have never spoken again but the big regret is that I felt like we could have been friends if I had the time following the breakup to process things. So yes agreed have the time to process it if you want to get to the place of being friends with them.
@claudiarossi6887
@claudiarossi6887 2 жыл бұрын
Right now I'm in the opposite situation, my ex doesn't want to keep up the communication but I do, and I didn't understand it until I read this message. So thank you.
@vicsters07
@vicsters07 2 жыл бұрын
@@claudiarossi6887 :) I'm glad it helped. Everyone's different but I wholeheartedly believe if I was given the time to process what had happened I could have been friends with my ex. There's a lot of emotions involved and both of you might be in different places right now. Some people might be able to jump into being friends but give your ex time and hopefully at some point in the future you can build a healthy friendship.
@angeliconda123
@angeliconda123 2 жыл бұрын
I never stop smiling when I watch you two together tbh. I love the energy y'all have.
@blackhairties
@blackhairties 2 жыл бұрын
Me telling my crush four years ago that I wanted to try bouldering and then she surprised me on my birthday months later with a bouldering sesh. Cut to now, we’re dating 🥰
@abbieamavi
@abbieamavi Жыл бұрын
Happy for you both! Sounds like my girlfriend. Women are amazing 🥰
@817chaparra
@817chaparra 2 жыл бұрын
Having both been/dated men for many years then going into our full discovery of our Queerness🏳️‍🌈, can you PLEASE make a video on how shifting our expectations/experiences with dating/being in relationships with women are completely different bcuz im still trying to UNLEARN ALOT OF HETERONOMATIVES that have been "expected" in straight relationships and NO ONE TALKS ABOUT the shift we have to go through with dating women, I'm in a relationship with a women and it's so hard for me to do things the "right way" bcuz before with men emotions were never so much on the surface like they are now and at times idk what to do bcuz I have learned to suppress my feelings when being with men bcuz talks of our feelings were Never really a thing. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Help/advice you can provide would be hella helpful, been ❤️ your content for years!
@saskia6648
@saskia6648 2 жыл бұрын
Yes this is so true!! I literally freaked out when a girl showed her feelings to me i was like “wait that’s an option?” And “how do i do that???”
@817chaparra
@817chaparra 2 жыл бұрын
@@saskia6648 for me idk how to respond correctly like idk how to handel someone else's raw emotions it's like idk what we want bcux I've never had it before from a male partner so idk what the answer is to make her feel heard cuz idk how to process my own feelings lol and idk what's appropriate to say ya know.
@saskia6648
@saskia6648 2 жыл бұрын
@@817chaparra yes exactly!! She literally started crying (she wasn’t sad she was saying that she felt so close and wanted to get closer to me) and it actually scared me bc I was like omg… she cares this much and anything I say or do could hurt her. And like I didn’t even know how I felt I’d never even had to think about it that much or communicate so carefully. I think it’s a positive thing in the long run because you really have to get in touch with your emotions but it’s so daunting
@saskia6648
@saskia6648 2 жыл бұрын
@@817chaparra i feel like I grew up getting the messaging that “guys don’t like it when girls are emotional” and always assumed I’d actually have to suppress my emotions for someone to like me, so it was so overwhelming and confusing when someone was like “I NEED to see your emotions”
@saskia6648
@saskia6648 2 жыл бұрын
And I remember I felt so alone/confused because like you said no ones talks about it. I’d only heard girls talk about how amazing it was to be with another girl (which it is) but I feel like people shy away from discussing the difficulties of the adjustment. I hope someone (maybe Alayna or someone else) addresses this!! Either way it’s nice to know I’m not alone 😅
@christinaw8876
@christinaw8876 2 жыл бұрын
Literally loving every second of every collab between you two. Brings laughter that is much needed
@shelbyteresak
@shelbyteresak 2 жыл бұрын
I LOVE y’alls friend chemistry and I would SO watch a climbing collab/lessons/challenge of you two!!
@constancellc
@constancellc 2 жыл бұрын
Re: "every day is digit day" I DO NOT recommend hangboarding everyday. Finger injuries suck and takes months to heal
@allyrobertson3674
@allyrobertson3674 2 жыл бұрын
I saw you post a video and started acting like a giddy child and then became clinically depressed when is showed up with age-restricted because I have no form of identification to prove I'm old enough to watch it 😭
@jamielondon6436
@jamielondon6436 2 жыл бұрын
Can you use a VPN or something? I think the restriction only applies in some countries …
@allyrobertson3674
@allyrobertson3674 2 жыл бұрын
​@@jamielondon6436 no because I'm on university Wi-Fi and the have rules and regulations about VPNs and if I'm caught with a VPN on I lose Wi-Fi access
@avak7174
@avak7174 Жыл бұрын
This episode feels like the birth of the Chosen Family podcast!
@aidan-mrtl
@aidan-mrtl 2 жыл бұрын
you're always so entertaining together this is the hardest i laughed all day
@minabasejderha5972
@minabasejderha5972 2 жыл бұрын
On the topic of labels, note that Lesbian didn't start becoming a term meaning exclusive attraction to women until relatively recently. It initially just meant any and all Sapphic women. However, a subset of second wave feminism called Lesbian Feminism appeared, who redefined it to specifically mean a lack of attraction to men rather than a presence of attraction to women. There was a larger argument about a holding sexual strike, where all women should withhold sex from men to get their rights. They started treating bi and straight women as traitors to the cause: as scabs, essentially. A group of lesbian feminists were what are called "Political lesbians," who were largely (etiologically speaking) straight or ace attracted women who used "lesbian" as a political identity. Instead of attraction to women, it meant that your first political loyalty was to other women. This is how you can have someone like Andrea Dworkin IDing as a lesbian despite her seeming to be more likely ace, given how she writes about sex as if it is only something that happens between men and women. Our current conceptions of straight, bi, and lesbian as three separate buckets between which you must choose is a relic of this specific argument between second wave feminists. So yes, people today should just be aware, that when people complain about someone IDing as both bisexual and a lesbian, this divide was initially created to so that otherwise straight women could call themselves lesbians simply by withholding sex from men, meanwhile calling straight and Bi women sexual scabs and enemies of women's rights. It's not a great time in queer history, and we could do better by simply recognizing that life isn't simple. It's worth noting that many of these lesbian feminists also hated gay men and went on to be TERFs later in their career.
@snozwanger760
@snozwanger760 2 жыл бұрын
You are such a good communicator Alayna. I really admire and respect the way you can think these things out and then express them. I'm 50 and a lot of my friends are older, and we are learning about possible reasons we act and acted the way we do and did from you and other articulate KZbinrs. We are never too old to learn, and I am forever thankful for each new generation of queer people and how they deal with life. You two talking together is amazing. I would watch you for hours.
@cathyemma1579
@cathyemma1579 2 жыл бұрын
Alayna and Mak: on a serious topic Them 2 minutes later: “OMG the tongue is a muscle”
@im_just_vidu
@im_just_vidu 6 ай бұрын
Alayna being a very good listener & showing how Mak's past relationships were based on societal norms.... This is pure therapy to me
@asher-rose9253
@asher-rose9253 2 жыл бұрын
When mak says “destructive” 🤣❤️ super Cuute
@wordstowordlessthings
@wordstowordlessthings 2 жыл бұрын
Re: labels - definitely important to me when coming out, especially in religious circles where being openly not straight is a big decision. Since that initial time, I've both realized I'm non-binary and had relationships with men and women (none of which have gone particularly well). At this point, I'm focusing on making myself the most me I can be without thinking so hard about labels so that if/when I attract or am attracted to others, it's really genuine and not an unconscious attempt to fill some role.
@glory1356
@glory1356 2 жыл бұрын
TBH the only people who see labels as "limiting" are the people who either don't fit those labels anyway or people who don't want to be described by them because of internalized prejudices.
@ireallyreallyhategoogle
@ireallyreallyhategoogle 2 жыл бұрын
Maybe you need to think of labels as just descriptive words. The relationships you've had and what others think don't define who you are and how you feel at any moment.
@snethies
@snethies 2 жыл бұрын
@@glory1356 I disagree. Not everyone agrees but I believe sexuality and gender is a spectrum therefore using certain labels can make someone feel like they have a box they need to fit in. Taking a step back from labels and just understanding yourself and how you feel can be very liberating
@glory1356
@glory1356 2 жыл бұрын
@@snethies Well it is spectrum, but spectrum is a range, and every range has two ends. Homosexual just means Kinsey 6, heterosexual Kinsey 0, and everything in between is various shades of bisexuality/pansexuality. This isn't even my opinion, Lisa Diamond's studies on sexual minority women showed that those who didn't label themselves were virtually identical to those who labelled themselves bisexual.
@hcoake5743
@hcoake5743 2 жыл бұрын
“It’s like we have the power to define our labels, the labels shouldn’t have the power to define us.” ✨SNAPS✨
@jaginaiaelectrizs6341
@jaginaiaelectrizs6341 2 жыл бұрын
YEESSSS!!!
@jasminklager8607
@jasminklager8607 Жыл бұрын
I totally get Mak. The main reason why I love watching Alayna is that she is so well spoken, intelligent and insightful. It's like I learn something new about myself every time!
@lelepixel
@lelepixel 2 жыл бұрын
Hearing you guys talk about labels is really comforting. I realized I was a lesbian not too long ago after using the label bisexual, and it took me a while to accept myself because I kept thinking "what if I find a man I want to date in the future?" But like Mak said, who cares if that changes in the future? I feel like the term lesbian fits me well now and that's all that matters
@emily67246
@emily67246 2 жыл бұрын
loving this recorded therapy session, dr. alayna!
@HK-og7ij
@HK-og7ij 2 жыл бұрын
Oh gosh, that advice about whether an ex will add to your life or not, codependency, guilt etc - I needed to hear that years ago! I felt a huge responsibility to stick around and stay friends with my ex, especially as he started on a big downwards spiral after our breakup. I essentially threw myself down into one as well because I was worried he would hurt himself unless I kept him afloat - turns out that was just another manipulative tactic in a long line of abusive behaviours, which took me *years* of proper silence & space to fully realise - after torturing myself by staying "friends" with him for almost a year after our breakup. It's hard to reflect when you're in the thick of it, which is why it's even more important to get that space, that time away, and the perspective that comes with it. This is a really insightful and enjoyable video! Such a shame that KZbin has made a bad call by restricting it. Hoping this comment helps you reach more people like younger me who would've benefitted from your advice and wisdom!
@livbrooks4194
@livbrooks4194 2 жыл бұрын
two main thoughts after watching this vid. 1) the way mak said “you’re so smart” was fucking adorable holy crap. (we all love alayna, it’s ok mak.) 2) the way alayna can encourage and put words to things for people, the way she observes and draws various conclusions or theories, the way she validates but sort of flips the internal negative self talk for people is so incredible. I really think she’s be a wonderful therapist/psychologist/etc. What a great human.
@Lion-ik6lv
@Lion-ik6lv 2 жыл бұрын
You getting called mommy and returning with the "anything you need, sweetheart" *just crying from laughter*
@ashleydailey7844
@ashleydailey7844 Жыл бұрын
I just into watching climbing and bouldering and I’m now obsessed with it. The strength and skill that takes is incredible
@ashismyname21
@ashismyname21 2 жыл бұрын
I love how your friendship plays out in these videos
@aj27turquoiseskies
@aj27turquoiseskies Жыл бұрын
I've been loving watching these slightly older conversations after catching up on the podcast! Wonderful video!
@saraxadam3659
@saraxadam3659 2 жыл бұрын
aww this is so cute! :) love the friendship that's forming
@LCSharp
@LCSharp 2 жыл бұрын
Mak and Alayna talking about being friends with exes really hit home for me and I couldn’t agree more! I was once engaged and eventually called off the wedding two weeks before we tied the knot because I realized I had fallen in love with a woman and it put my feelings for my ex into perspective and I realized that what I felt for him had never been romantic love. During the breakup period we had a lot of talks about how we’d always be eachother’s family and thought we’d immediately be able to be friends since we weren’t ending over someone doing something wrong. That was NOT the case. We had a lot of blips in those first few months and eventually needed total space for a few months before slowly rebuilding our friendship post-breakup. It took about a year but we’re finally in a good place and it’s now wild to think we ever dated, let alone lived together and were about to get married!
@brokensouls2855
@brokensouls2855 2 жыл бұрын
thank you for the part on gender identity. the language of womanhood vs femininity kinda helped sort out how to put things i had understood but didn't have words for thank you
@jaginaiaelectrizs6341
@jaginaiaelectrizs6341 2 жыл бұрын
So, to me, womanhood and femininity are one in the same. Everything else is just stereotyping. And, in my opinion, who is anyone to police what is or isn't an expression of someone's gender anyhow. But that's just me. (Basically, I kinda feel as if the word "femininity" maybe needs to be reclaimed, in a sense-I don't think stereotypes or societal habits or expectations or whatever should get to define what is and isn't feminine. Those things shouldn't, in my opinion, get to take the word away from what it actually means and lock it away into this tiny little uber-specific box. But, again, that's definitely just a me thing.)
@brokensouls2855
@brokensouls2855 2 жыл бұрын
all my comment was on was the fact that who you are and how you feel about how you present or what you do can be completely separate. and i liked the language because it gave me a way to think about it. i.e. thoughts and feelings vs who you are. this has nothing to do with society its a completely internal frame. so what i thank and feel and what i choose to present does not have to effect who i am but can.and who i am does not have to effect how i present or feel but can. am glad your all sorted in you world hope it works well for you
@jaginaiaelectrizs6341
@jaginaiaelectrizs6341 2 жыл бұрын
@@brokensouls2855 Sorry-I wasn't trying to negate or criticize that point, at all; I think that's completely true and valid too. I was just saying that, for me, I don't like using the word 'feminine' or 'femininity' to refer to how people outwardly present themselves versus who they are internally...it just doesn't personally feel right to me, separating the word 'feminine' from womanhood or femaleness like that, as if people's womanhood or femaleness isn't their femininity and as if people's femininity isn't their womanhood/femaleness itself[-rather than being how people do or don't "present" themselves externally via clothing or mannerisms or what-such at all]. If that makes sense? (And, like I said before, this might just be a totally me exclusively kinda hang-up here-so I'm definitely not saying that anyone else necessarily has to nor even should see it the same way like I do at all. I'm just trying to explain my own personal thoughts/feelings in general, and why/how they just personally differed slightly in regard to this particular terminology/distinction.) Thinking of people who present in certain ways as being or presenting themselves in either a "feminine" or "masculine" way IS deeply rooted in societal stereotypes about how both women/females/ & men/males/ do or should present themselves. But, in my opinion, people aren't any more or less female/womanly/[ or male/manly/] regardless of how they present...so typifying certain outward presentations or expressions of self as being either somehow specifically or inherently "feminine" or "masculine" at all, just seems somehow erroneous to me in some way. I think we need different terminology than we currently have, to refer to the way that certain people present themselves, which are simply not so gendered-because divorcing certain gendered words from the gender they are meant to be associated with just doesn't seem to me like an accurate or satisfactory solution[, or an appropriate and just way of correcting centuries of unfairly flawed & incorrect or incomplete perceptions &/or typifications of how gender does or should present]. But, apart from that, I genuinely think it's a great thing that people are finally recognizing nowadays that who people are internally is a separate thing from how people outwardly present or express themselves either intentionally or even unconsciously so! 😊 I just personally wish we had /different/better terminology, with which to illustrate that particular distinction, aside from saying that "femininity" and womanhood are different. Because femininity and womanhood or femaleness are the same things to me, personally. Outward presentations of self which are [stereo]typically associated with "femininity" do not, in my opinion, actually stem specifically or inherently from femininity at all...nor does femininity actually stem specifically or inherently from these particular outward presentations of self...so, ever calling those outward presentations "feminine"/"femininity"/[ or thinking of them as being such] at all, was[ in my opinion] entirely flawed or inaccurate to begin with. And I just personally feel that saying those outward presentations are in fact the embodiment of femininity, but that this femininity is somehow a different thing from womanhood, just does little if anything to really or truly rectify that problem. ((But again, like I've said before, maybe this just my own hang-up/issue. 🤷‍♀️ idk.)) Like, I have absolutely zero problem with acknowledging that who people are and how people outwardly present themselves is or can be a totally separate or unrelated thing. The _only_ thing I was personally taking issue with, is saying that femininity and womanhood are not the same things, as if somehow femininity is actually a very particular kind of outward presentation; because to me femininity is femaleness regardless of outward presentation, so to me certain or very particular kinds of outward presentations are actually not specifically or inherently 'feminine' or 'femininity' at all[ EXCEPT for stereotypically-speaking]-The only thing I'm taking issue with, personally, is suggesting that certain particular types of outward presentations of self are actually even specifically 'feminine' or 'masculine' at all; even though I don't have any idea what other word(s) to use to refer to those particular types or styles of outward presentations of self instead. ((..If that even clarified anything at all, and didn't just further confuse what I'm trying to say here even more.😅😅🙃🙏😁)) But I can totally understand why having a word, any word, with which to distinguish between who or what people are versus how they outwardly present themselves could be a truly helpful or freeing/liberating and positive thing. And I am legit glad for anyone who doesn't have my personal hang-ups about using the word 'feminine' or 'femininity' as that word. 🙂 (((I just can't seem to get 100% behind doing that, myself, personally.)))
@jamielondon6436
@jamielondon6436 2 жыл бұрын
3:34 You know what a Freudian slip is? It's when you say one thing and mean your mother.
@joshuagies4900
@joshuagies4900 2 жыл бұрын
Love these collabs; they're great ♥️
@BayAreaBerk
@BayAreaBerk 2 жыл бұрын
everyday is digit day... On the Bell Curve of your demographics, I'm likely waaay on one edge, which speaks to how enjoyable your work is. I'm posting from the near Future (Dec, 2022) , and this is a rewatch, &but I wanted to mention I felt great joy when the CC put [girlish giggles] on the screen. I think you guys together are more than the sum of the parts...
@peeperlovesmuffins
@peeperlovesmuffins 2 жыл бұрын
I love that you actually linked Ashley’s channel in the description
@Arrowgrab
@Arrowgrab 2 жыл бұрын
Alayna & Mak, you two together are on 🔥🔥🔥! Also future 🧗‍♀️-off confirmed? Because that would be solid gold. And a 24-minute video felt like it was maybe 8.
@Ferx68
@Ferx68 2 жыл бұрын
Agree, 23 minute felt like a trailer … we want more!!!
@mariatrinidad1370
@mariatrinidad1370 2 жыл бұрын
So happy to be able to see this lmao. I bet some teenage baby gays are screaming, crying, throwing up right now.
@jennica7101
@jennica7101 2 жыл бұрын
questioning my gender identity was a huge flag that i was gay, surprisingly!! i had never really been introduced to the idea of NOT being attracted to men - growing up in the deep religious south had me convinced everyone had to be attracted to men. but i resented & feared male attention, even platonically, and i started to push more into androgynous/masc behaviors and started wondering if i was trans because i didn't identify w/ cishet women. (also i was trying to be "less attractive" to men by presenting more masc/and) it was hard to dissect that because i acknowledged my attraction to women in my teen years but i couldn't accept that i wasn't attracted to men, esp because they were the only ones showing interest in me. eventually i befriended lesbians and started consuming more lesbian media and it made the lightbulb in my head click. now i'm so much comfier expressing femininity because i don't feel "obligated" to reciprocate men's feelings if they happen to show interest.
@gabrielareyes3195
@gabrielareyes3195 2 жыл бұрын
I could watch a thousand videos from you two and not get bored at all
@Kabuki986
@Kabuki986 2 жыл бұрын
(11/20/22) Just watched this video, and I must say that A CLIMBING CHALLENGE between you two would be awesome -- and I for one would require that ASHLEY GAVIN be the Commentator!!!
@eemiaa10
@eemiaa10 2 жыл бұрын
"Do you wanna start talking about stuff?" -5 mins later 🤣🤣 loved the intro banter 💜
@ameleamusic
@ameleamusic 2 жыл бұрын
This is the only rom-com I need
@Talon5Karrde
@Talon5Karrde 2 жыл бұрын
@22:20 - It could be argued that Men are also more 'validated' with a 'Hot' Girlfriend - from outside the relationship. - Or with a loving Girlfriend/lover, as being 'validated' - from inside the relationship... The issue here is that @Makingemi was making herself look 'Straight' as a way to try and attract 'Gay' girls/woman...
@ariadnarivas260
@ariadnarivas260 Жыл бұрын
I really, really loved and enjoyed this video!! You guys have the perfect dynamic!
@shaghayeghtavakoli423
@shaghayeghtavakoli423 2 жыл бұрын
"Why is it my problem that you're being ignorant?". EXACTLY.
@hellomark1
@hellomark1 2 жыл бұрын
Hey Mak I used to have two tongue piercings (one in front of the other) and the initial piercing is no big deal, but then it takes like 12-24 hours for your brain to decide that you don't just have an extra piece of food in your mouth or something.... for me it didn't happen until like 4am the next day. So you're constantly salivating and feeling like you're not finished eating or something
@strawberryfox8819
@strawberryfox8819 2 жыл бұрын
Another great video, Alayna, always love the vibes. No matter how bad my day may have been, your content always creates the best atmosphere. Happy Pride Month! 🏳‍🌈❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Also, any fellow german Sapphics in the chat?
@vne4ssa
@vne4ssa 2 жыл бұрын
My first label was "not straight" and now I just go by fruity
@acc45460
@acc45460 2 жыл бұрын
Mak's "Do I feel like I'm trans or something? No, I don't think I am." made me think about my own feelings about gender. I'm more like "Yeah, I probably am trans, but I'm comfortable enough with my body and social role, so to speak, to move through life without any changes." I have questioned my gender for a long time. When I got with my current girlfriend I explained my feelings to her as well as I could, and I'm happy to say that she would support me, and that my gender doesn't matter to her. The way I label myself changes. Most times I don't label myself at all. If I come out, I come out as a (cis) lesbian. But that's only because people look at my girlfriend and me and see a lesbian couple.
@morganmcmann4058
@morganmcmann4058 2 жыл бұрын
This video is an insight into Maks therapy session... Love you both! Incredible influencers for gay women
@katiehotham1474
@katiehotham1474 Жыл бұрын
did i wait 6 months until i was 18 to watch this video? yes was it worth it? 100%
@melaniea4890
@melaniea4890 2 жыл бұрын
You really are my comfort youtuber, I love your videos! It makes me so happy to see a new upload!
@valbaxter2611
@valbaxter2611 2 жыл бұрын
Great video! Alayna, you have the knack of explaining complicated issues with clarity and simply. I see Mak astounded every time you explain what she has said. You both are hilarious to watch, and by the end, I am exhausted (in a good way) by laughter. I am much, much older than you, but I enjoy "reliving" and understanding many of my youthful (and older) relationships and their aftermaths. Part of me wishes I was young and experiencing these things for the first time, but the other part of me is so glad that I have gotten past all the drama LOL. Keep it up and f**k the algorithm!
@jp_8994
@jp_8994 2 жыл бұрын
Love these types of video, just two friends chatting and making us laugh
@coleydotmp4
@coleydotmp4 2 жыл бұрын
I did the same thing in high school as mak with dating men, but for me it was subconscious. i didnt really understand why i was doing it at the time lmao. Great video guys!
@itsv4488
@itsv4488 2 жыл бұрын
I really need more of em together in one video more in my life.
@saryahmccord448
@saryahmccord448 Жыл бұрын
the “and ashley’s i guess” in the description
@junomcguff
@junomcguff 2 жыл бұрын
Alayna should write a book 🥰 she's so well spoken
@camiyuoff
@camiyuoff 2 жыл бұрын
I love your collabs so much! It's so cool! Always having a great time watching those videos! And bonus : I learn so much... its mind-blowing!
@stephtaylor6292
@stephtaylor6292 2 жыл бұрын
Oh this made me so happy! 😄 ...and omg can't wait for the thirst trap/climbing collab!!!!! 🧗 ... And yes pleasaassse do a family episode with you Ashley and Mak. This would just make my heart so happy!!!
@ananyakallianpur4956
@ananyakallianpur4956 2 жыл бұрын
Yes we want ashley and mak and youuuuu
@SB-lc5qg
@SB-lc5qg 2 жыл бұрын
Good theory, Alayna!
@maRUu4u
@maRUu4u 2 жыл бұрын
You should make an hour long video. This is to short. Love both of you 💙
@lezlezzin
@lezlezzin 2 жыл бұрын
I LOVE when yall film together
@Kintayisme
@Kintayisme 2 жыл бұрын
Everyone needs this content in their life
@bellesasmr
@bellesasmr 2 жыл бұрын
this editing is really good like between the two of you talking and stuff 👏👏
@charlie-de4in
@charlie-de4in 2 жыл бұрын
I could listen to you two, Ashley, and Kate talk, ALL day!!💕💕
@N0ticeMeShenpaiiASMR
@N0ticeMeShenpaiiASMR 2 жыл бұрын
ive watched sooo many of your vids recently after you came up on my recommended last week! here's my algorithm boosting comment
@satvikidas5342
@satvikidas5342 2 жыл бұрын
this is my daily dose of internet :)
@firefly24601
@firefly24601 2 жыл бұрын
You and Mak make some FANTASTIC content together!!!
@alessandrahaha
@alessandrahaha 2 жыл бұрын
Don't have the time to watch his video yet but when I will I am sure it will be hilarious - it's nice to know something great is waiting in my subscriptions 🥰
@MagicHam911
@MagicHam911 2 жыл бұрын
I love this! Please do another collab soon in person
@carison93
@carison93 2 жыл бұрын
What you said about labels is exactly how i feel and i couldn't explain it to others why I didn't want to label myself and now I know exactly what to say.. Thank you❤
@gibanete
@gibanete 2 жыл бұрын
the two of you always have such good conversations, i love it!!!
@chelister27
@chelister27 Жыл бұрын
I'd like to believe that this is where they came up with the idea for the podcast 🤗
@cathyemma1579
@cathyemma1579 2 жыл бұрын
A podcast of these videos would make my day!!!
@madelinem9452
@madelinem9452 2 жыл бұрын
LOVED this video Alayna! You and Mak are gold together
@emakesmusic
@emakesmusic 2 жыл бұрын
I enjoy both of your content so much, I’m so happy when you collab!
@sleepingxrose
@sleepingxrose 2 жыл бұрын
Can't wait for the video of you three, omg
@loupelizzo2399
@loupelizzo2399 2 жыл бұрын
You both are so hilarious and loved this video a lot and just love all the answers and just can’t wait to see the climb off between you two or lesson. Alayna such a great therapist and so much common sense, and Mak is just amazing and love you both. Thank you so much for this great video
@kimberlynann
@kimberlynann 2 жыл бұрын
Family Feud going down on the IG is *chef's kiss
@52Paulis
@52Paulis 2 жыл бұрын
I love this video. The two of you are awesome together. So sad the video was age-restricted it makes no sense that it was age-restricted except for perhaps the Ad because it is an adult toy and then Mak talks about dating in high school. The rules are so crazy. I remember when Midnight Cowboy was released it was released as an X-rated film and is the only X-rated film to win the Best Picture Oscar. Today it is almost a laughable that was rated X it isn't even a hard R by today's standards.
@Seagazin
@Seagazin 2 жыл бұрын
Commenting for the algorithm because this video is absolutelyyyyy a bop
@KiKiStarling
@KiKiStarling 2 жыл бұрын
This is a beautiful video and I'm so annoyed KZbin age restricted it. Also, dunno why I could watch it on my phone but not my Roku? Same account on both.
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