This video was IMMEDIATELY age-restricted upon posting. WHY KZbin WHY?!! It would be a huge help to me if you'd like/comment/share this one over and above the usual. I hate asking for this directly, but I adore this video and don't want the algorithm to kill it 😭🌈
@lunavalpassos93242 жыл бұрын
This video is way to good, not even the algorithm would dare to kill it
@ireallyreallyhategoogle2 жыл бұрын
Of course Alayna, always happy to like and comment, but i have nowhere and no one to share with. I think it could be because of the sponsor, but KZbin being KZbin, it could just be because of the lesbians.
@joegoss302 жыл бұрын
@@ireallyreallyhategoogle I'm sure it was all about the awkward age difference... :) :) :)
@ireallyreallyhategoogle2 жыл бұрын
@@joegoss30 KZbin is censoring age differences now? I mean, Mak's over 18, right?
@Arrowgrab2 жыл бұрын
Making this video age-restricted is absolutely nonsensical. YT, what the hell is wrong with you?
@SevgiMungan2 жыл бұрын
Mak telling Alayna a story from her past and Alayna coming up with A+ observations, I’m like “yes this girl’s done therapy 👏🏻”
@dannafernandez3987 Жыл бұрын
I was LOVING every second
@hwernie2 жыл бұрын
I feel like Alanya would make a great therapist
@sunlightheaded2 жыл бұрын
I genuinely feel like that's her calling
@annacamila_2 жыл бұрын
I feel that too! She’s very aware of herself and very sensible too. She would be an incredible psychologist
@DjurslandsEfterskole2 жыл бұрын
Or a LGBTQ+ coach! That'd be awesome!
@livbrooks41942 жыл бұрын
i think that was a career path option for her at one time! i remember she was going for her masters i think in psychology!
@jenniferdivine1115 Жыл бұрын
This aged well
@JulietteVeronica12012 жыл бұрын
Personally for me the label lesbian felt so much less restrictive when I realized a lot of my "what if I fall in love with a man" was an internalized feeling of wanting to fit in *and* the stereotype that lesbians hate men. For some reason society is accepting when gay men and straight girls talk about how pretty other girls are and how fascinating they are, but for straight guys that's "gay" when they do it to other guys and for lesbians it sounds like they're faking being a lesbian when they talk about guys. When in reality it's all bullshit and you're allowed to have fascination of other human beings without wanting to fuck them.
@watsonandbscuriousdays2 жыл бұрын
Yeeeeeesss!!
@kyogurtstar2 жыл бұрын
This summarizes how I feel about my label perfectly as well, thank you for sharing! This needs to be addressed more!
@caseysmith63522 жыл бұрын
As a lesbian I can absolutely appreciate a good looking man but I'd never want to date him. If I did feel like I wanted to date him, I'd be bi or pan, not a lesbian and that would be fine! Just like you said, gay men can notice a beautiful woman without wanting to date her! And if he did want to date her, he'd be bi or pan and not gay and that would be fine!! But lesbians do not date men and gay men do not date women!
@mexislife52722 жыл бұрын
Exactly that! Well said
@peapod58292 жыл бұрын
@@caseysmith6352 wow thanq!! Finally someone with some sense. If you are a woman attracted to men and women, then you are bisexual. Why does it have to be so complicated. Lesbians do exist! By lesbians I mean women that are strictly attracted to women only! I think because of these bisexual women who label themselves as "lesbians" lesbians are not taken seriously when they come out to men and this is one of the biggest reasons why men think they can sleep with a lesbian and turn her bisexual or straight. Please leave lesbians alone. Be proud of who you are. There is nothing wrong in discovering that you like men too and when you thought you were attracted to only women, that is called bisexuality and you are not a lesbian.
@rosieblyther4442 жыл бұрын
The way Alayna describes her friendship with her ex is exactly how one of my exes and I are. Like it feels like we confused friendship for something more so it was just easier to be friends than romantic partners so it actually felt more natural to make that transition.
@hanquokkasan2 жыл бұрын
Same!! My best friend and I met online (he’s from France and I’m in the U.S.) and I feel like when we first started talking we both had this idea that it’s not possible for us to just be friends because we are a guy and a girl so romantic feelings got involved but eventually we realized that we are WAYYY better as friends and now he is my best friend, he has a gf who actually is into him and I’m a lesbian lol
@guardmommad50842 жыл бұрын
I started watching your channel because my daughter is a baby gay and in her first serious relationship. Thought I might find advice for the issues that they're having. She goes to school with Mak and says all the girls have a crush on her 😁 Love when you two get together ❤️
@sarahmarkworth38082 жыл бұрын
When you came up with the theory based on Mak's high school experiences, I realized something about myself. I identify as a lesbian and haven't dated men at all but I constantly find myself wanting to be attractive to men. I think I really do think that the more men find me attractive, the more my confidence goes up due to me believing I'm appealing to women because men like me. I now am questioning everything
@lisje24962 жыл бұрын
Wow, I just realized that though I am not attracted to men and I know I am not, when there is a guy of around my age, whom I can see is conventionally attractive, I start feeling and acting a bit differently around this person. Because in the back of my mind there is something thinking "you should be feeling something for this person, he may flirt, is anyone else watching? Just stay calm and act unsuspicious." Whatever that means. lol And maybe there is a tiny part of me that indeed seeks male validation, I seem to somehow enjoy a little attention, however as soon as they obviously start flirting I just cringe on the inside and want to.. I don't know? run away? I just get this weird feeling of "ahhhh I don't want this"!!!
@known_film4081 Жыл бұрын
am i the only lesbian that only wants attention from women but keep getting it from men ? cuz i am in hell right now .
@FocusedFighter777 Жыл бұрын
It's weird because I never felt good when any men found me attractive. It's gross. However, if a man finds me SMART, that made me feel good. FINALY SEEN.
@laragazzaviola802 жыл бұрын
The way Mak reacts to Alayna explaining things is exactly me! "I knew that but didn't know how to say it" literally
@alexe56062 жыл бұрын
I know right it's such a nice feeling to hearing it out loud!
@bigmcg74842 жыл бұрын
The perfect balance between gay chaos and deep discussions in this video ✨
@audreyannaorage2 жыл бұрын
das how we love ittt
@catherine_dong2 жыл бұрын
ever-appreciative of alayna’s ability to verbalize elusive feelings!! hoping the algorithm is still willing to pick this one up
@rachaelfraser17752 жыл бұрын
The question about labels had such good answers, I've always self-identified as bi or pan but I've found a lot of comfort in just labelling myself as queer because my attraction to different sexes ebbs and flows and sometimes i feel more bi and other times I feel more like lesbian, it's such a spectrum and I'm learning a lot
@CloverLovesTT2 жыл бұрын
lesbians are not attracted to men in any way 💀 you can’t just “sometimes” feel lesbian like we’re some kind of aesthetic
@KillerOfWhales Жыл бұрын
@@CloverLovesTTSo sometimes their attracted to men a little bit and other times it really doesn’t feel like they are at all? So lesbian doesn’t feel completely right to them. Way to miss the point, I guess
@avak7174 Жыл бұрын
This episode feels like the birth of the Chosen Family podcast!
@itsnotphases2 жыл бұрын
Can’t wait for the collab with Ashley AND Mak 😩
@shannonbolton60052 жыл бұрын
Haha “you have stronger fingers than I do”… there it is Alayna you are no longer a “baby” gay. You have graduated. It’s all in the fingers! 💋🏳️🌈💋
@lunavalpassos93242 жыл бұрын
Seeing you just posted this video makes me wanna cry. Love when you two are together
@claireioannou40072 жыл бұрын
I never ever get disappointed with how Alayna is using words to describe something in the best way possible to really put you in the position of realization! Thank you so much girl I find your videos really enlightening! 🙏🏻
@vicsters072 жыл бұрын
I agree with the ex answer. When me and my ex broke up (it was also my first official relationship with a woman) it was really long and drawn out also she said she wanted to remain friends so I tried, it was the first lockdown so we didn't see each other but we did message and call and I found it hard, I was also going through a pretty hard time mentally and so after several months of pretending I was fine it came to a point that I blew up at her, said a lot of things I regret. 2 years later we have never spoken again but the big regret is that I felt like we could have been friends if I had the time following the breakup to process things. So yes agreed have the time to process it if you want to get to the place of being friends with them.
@claudiarossi68872 жыл бұрын
Right now I'm in the opposite situation, my ex doesn't want to keep up the communication but I do, and I didn't understand it until I read this message. So thank you.
@vicsters072 жыл бұрын
@@claudiarossi6887 :) I'm glad it helped. Everyone's different but I wholeheartedly believe if I was given the time to process what had happened I could have been friends with my ex. There's a lot of emotions involved and both of you might be in different places right now. Some people might be able to jump into being friends but give your ex time and hopefully at some point in the future you can build a healthy friendship.
@817chaparra2 жыл бұрын
Having both been/dated men for many years then going into our full discovery of our Queerness🏳️🌈, can you PLEASE make a video on how shifting our expectations/experiences with dating/being in relationships with women are completely different bcuz im still trying to UNLEARN ALOT OF HETERONOMATIVES that have been "expected" in straight relationships and NO ONE TALKS ABOUT the shift we have to go through with dating women, I'm in a relationship with a women and it's so hard for me to do things the "right way" bcuz before with men emotions were never so much on the surface like they are now and at times idk what to do bcuz I have learned to suppress my feelings when being with men bcuz talks of our feelings were Never really a thing. 🤷🏽♀️ Help/advice you can provide would be hella helpful, been ❤️ your content for years!
@saskia66482 жыл бұрын
Yes this is so true!! I literally freaked out when a girl showed her feelings to me i was like “wait that’s an option?” And “how do i do that???”
@817chaparra2 жыл бұрын
@@saskia6648 for me idk how to respond correctly like idk how to handel someone else's raw emotions it's like idk what we want bcux I've never had it before from a male partner so idk what the answer is to make her feel heard cuz idk how to process my own feelings lol and idk what's appropriate to say ya know.
@saskia66482 жыл бұрын
@@817chaparra yes exactly!! She literally started crying (she wasn’t sad she was saying that she felt so close and wanted to get closer to me) and it actually scared me bc I was like omg… she cares this much and anything I say or do could hurt her. And like I didn’t even know how I felt I’d never even had to think about it that much or communicate so carefully. I think it’s a positive thing in the long run because you really have to get in touch with your emotions but it’s so daunting
@saskia66482 жыл бұрын
@@817chaparra i feel like I grew up getting the messaging that “guys don’t like it when girls are emotional” and always assumed I’d actually have to suppress my emotions for someone to like me, so it was so overwhelming and confusing when someone was like “I NEED to see your emotions”
@saskia66482 жыл бұрын
And I remember I felt so alone/confused because like you said no ones talks about it. I’d only heard girls talk about how amazing it was to be with another girl (which it is) but I feel like people shy away from discussing the difficulties of the adjustment. I hope someone (maybe Alayna or someone else) addresses this!! Either way it’s nice to know I’m not alone 😅
@blackhairties2 жыл бұрын
Me telling my crush four years ago that I wanted to try bouldering and then she surprised me on my birthday months later with a bouldering sesh. Cut to now, we’re dating 🥰
@abbieamavi Жыл бұрын
Happy for you both! Sounds like my girlfriend. Women are amazing 🥰
@im_just_vidu5 ай бұрын
Alayna being a very good listener & showing how Mak's past relationships were based on societal norms.... This is pure therapy to me
@matthijsclaessen81522 жыл бұрын
I'm friends with my ex now... but it took ten years of practically never seeing eachother before the hurt was gone and I was able to just see her as a friend again and as a person I genuinely wish the best. (We separated gracefully after being together for 7 years.) (old cis-het-man)
@Krissixxyz2 жыл бұрын
I love the energy when you and Mak get together. There needs to be a collab with you two and Ashley Gavin all together.
@terrihoover5665 Жыл бұрын
As someone who is getting my masters degree in counseling and as someone who identifies as a lesbian who dated men when I was young...your analysis of Mak's theory of dating men to attract women was amazing. I only recently have found your videos and the two of you are some very intellectual young ladies. Keep up the great conversations.
@constancellc2 жыл бұрын
Re: "every day is digit day" I DO NOT recommend hangboarding everyday. Finger injuries suck and takes months to heal
@minabasejderha59722 жыл бұрын
On the topic of labels, note that Lesbian didn't start becoming a term meaning exclusive attraction to women until relatively recently. It initially just meant any and all Sapphic women. However, a subset of second wave feminism called Lesbian Feminism appeared, who redefined it to specifically mean a lack of attraction to men rather than a presence of attraction to women. There was a larger argument about a holding sexual strike, where all women should withhold sex from men to get their rights. They started treating bi and straight women as traitors to the cause: as scabs, essentially. A group of lesbian feminists were what are called "Political lesbians," who were largely (etiologically speaking) straight or ace attracted women who used "lesbian" as a political identity. Instead of attraction to women, it meant that your first political loyalty was to other women. This is how you can have someone like Andrea Dworkin IDing as a lesbian despite her seeming to be more likely ace, given how she writes about sex as if it is only something that happens between men and women. Our current conceptions of straight, bi, and lesbian as three separate buckets between which you must choose is a relic of this specific argument between second wave feminists. So yes, people today should just be aware, that when people complain about someone IDing as both bisexual and a lesbian, this divide was initially created to so that otherwise straight women could call themselves lesbians simply by withholding sex from men, meanwhile calling straight and Bi women sexual scabs and enemies of women's rights. It's not a great time in queer history, and we could do better by simply recognizing that life isn't simple. It's worth noting that many of these lesbian feminists also hated gay men and went on to be TERFs later in their career.
@angeliconda1232 жыл бұрын
I never stop smiling when I watch you two together tbh. I love the energy y'all have.
@allyrobertson36742 жыл бұрын
I saw you post a video and started acting like a giddy child and then became clinically depressed when is showed up with age-restricted because I have no form of identification to prove I'm old enough to watch it 😭
@jamielondon64362 жыл бұрын
Can you use a VPN or something? I think the restriction only applies in some countries …
@allyrobertson36742 жыл бұрын
@@jamielondon6436 no because I'm on university Wi-Fi and the have rules and regulations about VPNs and if I'm caught with a VPN on I lose Wi-Fi access
@christinaw88762 жыл бұрын
Literally loving every second of every collab between you two. Brings laughter that is much needed
@shelbyteresak2 жыл бұрын
I LOVE y’alls friend chemistry and I would SO watch a climbing collab/lessons/challenge of you two!!
@jamielondon64362 жыл бұрын
3:34 You know what a Freudian slip is? It's when you say one thing and mean your mother.
@aidan-mrtl2 жыл бұрын
you're always so entertaining together this is the hardest i laughed all day
@cathyemma15792 жыл бұрын
Alayna and Mak: on a serious topic Them 2 minutes later: “OMG the tongue is a muscle”
@snozwanger7602 жыл бұрын
You are such a good communicator Alayna. I really admire and respect the way you can think these things out and then express them. I'm 50 and a lot of my friends are older, and we are learning about possible reasons we act and acted the way we do and did from you and other articulate KZbinrs. We are never too old to learn, and I am forever thankful for each new generation of queer people and how they deal with life. You two talking together is amazing. I would watch you for hours.
@vne4ssa2 жыл бұрын
My first label was "not straight" and now I just go by fruity
@wordstowordlessthings2 жыл бұрын
Re: labels - definitely important to me when coming out, especially in religious circles where being openly not straight is a big decision. Since that initial time, I've both realized I'm non-binary and had relationships with men and women (none of which have gone particularly well). At this point, I'm focusing on making myself the most me I can be without thinking so hard about labels so that if/when I attract or am attracted to others, it's really genuine and not an unconscious attempt to fill some role.
@glory13562 жыл бұрын
TBH the only people who see labels as "limiting" are the people who either don't fit those labels anyway or people who don't want to be described by them because of internalized prejudices.
@ireallyreallyhategoogle2 жыл бұрын
Maybe you need to think of labels as just descriptive words. The relationships you've had and what others think don't define who you are and how you feel at any moment.
@snethies2 жыл бұрын
@@glory1356 I disagree. Not everyone agrees but I believe sexuality and gender is a spectrum therefore using certain labels can make someone feel like they have a box they need to fit in. Taking a step back from labels and just understanding yourself and how you feel can be very liberating
@glory13562 жыл бұрын
@@snethies Well it is spectrum, but spectrum is a range, and every range has two ends. Homosexual just means Kinsey 6, heterosexual Kinsey 0, and everything in between is various shades of bisexuality/pansexuality. This isn't even my opinion, Lisa Diamond's studies on sexual minority women showed that those who didn't label themselves were virtually identical to those who labelled themselves bisexual.
@shaghayeghtavakoli4232 жыл бұрын
"Why is it my problem that you're being ignorant?". EXACTLY.
@jasminklager8607 Жыл бұрын
I totally get Mak. The main reason why I love watching Alayna is that she is so well spoken, intelligent and insightful. It's like I learn something new about myself every time!
@hcoake57432 жыл бұрын
“It’s like we have the power to define our labels, the labels shouldn’t have the power to define us.” ✨SNAPS✨
@jaginaiaelectrizs63412 жыл бұрын
YEESSSS!!!
@ashleydailey784411 ай бұрын
I just into watching climbing and bouldering and I’m now obsessed with it. The strength and skill that takes is incredible
@Lion-ik6lv2 жыл бұрын
You getting called mommy and returning with the "anything you need, sweetheart" *just crying from laughter*
@Talon5Karrde2 жыл бұрын
@22:20 - It could be argued that Men are also more 'validated' with a 'Hot' Girlfriend - from outside the relationship. - Or with a loving Girlfriend/lover, as being 'validated' - from inside the relationship... The issue here is that @Makingemi was making herself look 'Straight' as a way to try and attract 'Gay' girls/woman...
@mariatrinidad13702 жыл бұрын
So happy to be able to see this lmao. I bet some teenage baby gays are screaming, crying, throwing up right now.
@Kabuki9862 жыл бұрын
(11/20/22) Just watched this video, and I must say that A CLIMBING CHALLENGE between you two would be awesome -- and I for one would require that ASHLEY GAVIN be the Commentator!!!
@lelepixel2 жыл бұрын
Hearing you guys talk about labels is really comforting. I realized I was a lesbian not too long ago after using the label bisexual, and it took me a while to accept myself because I kept thinking "what if I find a man I want to date in the future?" But like Mak said, who cares if that changes in the future? I feel like the term lesbian fits me well now and that's all that matters
@asher-rose92532 жыл бұрын
When mak says “destructive” 🤣❤️ super Cuute
@livbrooks41942 жыл бұрын
two main thoughts after watching this vid. 1) the way mak said “you’re so smart” was fucking adorable holy crap. (we all love alayna, it’s ok mak.) 2) the way alayna can encourage and put words to things for people, the way she observes and draws various conclusions or theories, the way she validates but sort of flips the internal negative self talk for people is so incredible. I really think she’s be a wonderful therapist/psychologist/etc. What a great human.
@katiehotham1474 Жыл бұрын
did i wait 6 months until i was 18 to watch this video? yes was it worth it? 100%
@emily672462 жыл бұрын
loving this recorded therapy session, dr. alayna!
@aj27turquoiseskies Жыл бұрын
I've been loving watching these slightly older conversations after catching up on the podcast! Wonderful video!
@Izzy-cp8yt2 жыл бұрын
😂 9:48 Mak really said 🤨
@BayAreaBerk Жыл бұрын
everyday is digit day... On the Bell Curve of your demographics, I'm likely waaay on one edge, which speaks to how enjoyable your work is. I'm posting from the near Future (Dec, 2022) , and this is a rewatch, &but I wanted to mention I felt great joy when the CC put [girlish giggles] on the screen. I think you guys together are more than the sum of the parts...
@jennica71012 жыл бұрын
questioning my gender identity was a huge flag that i was gay, surprisingly!! i had never really been introduced to the idea of NOT being attracted to men - growing up in the deep religious south had me convinced everyone had to be attracted to men. but i resented & feared male attention, even platonically, and i started to push more into androgynous/masc behaviors and started wondering if i was trans because i didn't identify w/ cishet women. (also i was trying to be "less attractive" to men by presenting more masc/and) it was hard to dissect that because i acknowledged my attraction to women in my teen years but i couldn't accept that i wasn't attracted to men, esp because they were the only ones showing interest in me. eventually i befriended lesbians and started consuming more lesbian media and it made the lightbulb in my head click. now i'm so much comfier expressing femininity because i don't feel "obligated" to reciprocate men's feelings if they happen to show interest.
@HK-og7ij2 жыл бұрын
Oh gosh, that advice about whether an ex will add to your life or not, codependency, guilt etc - I needed to hear that years ago! I felt a huge responsibility to stick around and stay friends with my ex, especially as he started on a big downwards spiral after our breakup. I essentially threw myself down into one as well because I was worried he would hurt himself unless I kept him afloat - turns out that was just another manipulative tactic in a long line of abusive behaviours, which took me *years* of proper silence & space to fully realise - after torturing myself by staying "friends" with him for almost a year after our breakup. It's hard to reflect when you're in the thick of it, which is why it's even more important to get that space, that time away, and the perspective that comes with it. This is a really insightful and enjoyable video! Such a shame that KZbin has made a bad call by restricting it. Hoping this comment helps you reach more people like younger me who would've benefitted from your advice and wisdom!
@brokensouls28552 жыл бұрын
thank you for the part on gender identity. the language of womanhood vs femininity kinda helped sort out how to put things i had understood but didn't have words for thank you
@jaginaiaelectrizs63412 жыл бұрын
So, to me, womanhood and femininity are one in the same. Everything else is just stereotyping. And, in my opinion, who is anyone to police what is or isn't an expression of someone's gender anyhow. But that's just me. (Basically, I kinda feel as if the word "femininity" maybe needs to be reclaimed, in a sense-I don't think stereotypes or societal habits or expectations or whatever should get to define what is and isn't feminine. Those things shouldn't, in my opinion, get to take the word away from what it actually means and lock it away into this tiny little uber-specific box. But, again, that's definitely just a me thing.)
@brokensouls28552 жыл бұрын
all my comment was on was the fact that who you are and how you feel about how you present or what you do can be completely separate. and i liked the language because it gave me a way to think about it. i.e. thoughts and feelings vs who you are. this has nothing to do with society its a completely internal frame. so what i thank and feel and what i choose to present does not have to effect who i am but can.and who i am does not have to effect how i present or feel but can. am glad your all sorted in you world hope it works well for you
@jaginaiaelectrizs63412 жыл бұрын
@@brokensouls2855 Sorry-I wasn't trying to negate or criticize that point, at all; I think that's completely true and valid too. I was just saying that, for me, I don't like using the word 'feminine' or 'femininity' to refer to how people outwardly present themselves versus who they are internally...it just doesn't personally feel right to me, separating the word 'feminine' from womanhood or femaleness like that, as if people's womanhood or femaleness isn't their femininity and as if people's femininity isn't their womanhood/femaleness itself[-rather than being how people do or don't "present" themselves externally via clothing or mannerisms or what-such at all]. If that makes sense? (And, like I said before, this might just be a totally me exclusively kinda hang-up here-so I'm definitely not saying that anyone else necessarily has to nor even should see it the same way like I do at all. I'm just trying to explain my own personal thoughts/feelings in general, and why/how they just personally differed slightly in regard to this particular terminology/distinction.) Thinking of people who present in certain ways as being or presenting themselves in either a "feminine" or "masculine" way IS deeply rooted in societal stereotypes about how both women/females/ & men/males/ do or should present themselves. But, in my opinion, people aren't any more or less female/womanly/[ or male/manly/] regardless of how they present...so typifying certain outward presentations or expressions of self as being either somehow specifically or inherently "feminine" or "masculine" at all, just seems somehow erroneous to me in some way. I think we need different terminology than we currently have, to refer to the way that certain people present themselves, which are simply not so gendered-because divorcing certain gendered words from the gender they are meant to be associated with just doesn't seem to me like an accurate or satisfactory solution[, or an appropriate and just way of correcting centuries of unfairly flawed & incorrect or incomplete perceptions &/or typifications of how gender does or should present]. But, apart from that, I genuinely think it's a great thing that people are finally recognizing nowadays that who people are internally is a separate thing from how people outwardly present or express themselves either intentionally or even unconsciously so! 😊 I just personally wish we had /different/better terminology, with which to illustrate that particular distinction, aside from saying that "femininity" and womanhood are different. Because femininity and womanhood or femaleness are the same things to me, personally. Outward presentations of self which are [stereo]typically associated with "femininity" do not, in my opinion, actually stem specifically or inherently from femininity at all...nor does femininity actually stem specifically or inherently from these particular outward presentations of self...so, ever calling those outward presentations "feminine"/"femininity"/[ or thinking of them as being such] at all, was[ in my opinion] entirely flawed or inaccurate to begin with. And I just personally feel that saying those outward presentations are in fact the embodiment of femininity, but that this femininity is somehow a different thing from womanhood, just does little if anything to really or truly rectify that problem. ((But again, like I've said before, maybe this just my own hang-up/issue. 🤷♀️ idk.)) Like, I have absolutely zero problem with acknowledging that who people are and how people outwardly present themselves is or can be a totally separate or unrelated thing. The _only_ thing I was personally taking issue with, is saying that femininity and womanhood are not the same things, as if somehow femininity is actually a very particular kind of outward presentation; because to me femininity is femaleness regardless of outward presentation, so to me certain or very particular kinds of outward presentations are actually not specifically or inherently 'feminine' or 'femininity' at all[ EXCEPT for stereotypically-speaking]-The only thing I'm taking issue with, personally, is suggesting that certain particular types of outward presentations of self are actually even specifically 'feminine' or 'masculine' at all; even though I don't have any idea what other word(s) to use to refer to those particular types or styles of outward presentations of self instead. ((..If that even clarified anything at all, and didn't just further confuse what I'm trying to say here even more.😅😅🙃🙏😁)) But I can totally understand why having a word, any word, with which to distinguish between who or what people are versus how they outwardly present themselves could be a truly helpful or freeing/liberating and positive thing. And I am legit glad for anyone who doesn't have my personal hang-ups about using the word 'feminine' or 'femininity' as that word. 🙂 (((I just can't seem to get 100% behind doing that, myself, personally.)))
@saraxadam36592 жыл бұрын
aww this is so cute! :) love the friendship that's forming
@LCSharp2 жыл бұрын
Mak and Alayna talking about being friends with exes really hit home for me and I couldn’t agree more! I was once engaged and eventually called off the wedding two weeks before we tied the knot because I realized I had fallen in love with a woman and it put my feelings for my ex into perspective and I realized that what I felt for him had never been romantic love. During the breakup period we had a lot of talks about how we’d always be eachother’s family and thought we’d immediately be able to be friends since we weren’t ending over someone doing something wrong. That was NOT the case. We had a lot of blips in those first few months and eventually needed total space for a few months before slowly rebuilding our friendship post-breakup. It took about a year but we’re finally in a good place and it’s now wild to think we ever dated, let alone lived together and were about to get married!
@eemiaa102 жыл бұрын
"Do you wanna start talking about stuff?" -5 mins later 🤣🤣 loved the intro banter 💜
@ashismyname212 жыл бұрын
I love how your friendship plays out in these videos
@peeperlovesmuffins2 жыл бұрын
I love that you actually linked Ashley’s channel in the description
@someoneelse76292 жыл бұрын
OMG, if you look in the reflection on Mak's TV you can clearly see Alana flashing her at 10:19 and forward
@joshuagies49002 жыл бұрын
Love these collabs; they're great ♥️
@ananyakallianpur49562 жыл бұрын
Yes we want ashley and mak and youuuuu
@childofartemis54102 жыл бұрын
Everyday is digit day
@Arrowgrab2 жыл бұрын
Alayna & Mak, you two together are on 🔥🔥🔥! Also future 🧗♀️-off confirmed? Because that would be solid gold. And a 24-minute video felt like it was maybe 8.
@Ferx682 жыл бұрын
Agree, 23 minute felt like a trailer … we want more!!!
@gabrielareyes31952 жыл бұрын
I could watch a thousand videos from you two and not get bored at all
@ameleamusic2 жыл бұрын
This is the only rom-com I need
@saryahmccord448 Жыл бұрын
the “and ashley’s i guess” in the description
@strawberryfox88192 жыл бұрын
Another great video, Alayna, always love the vibes. No matter how bad my day may have been, your content always creates the best atmosphere. Happy Pride Month! 🏳🌈❤🧡💛💚💙💜 Also, any fellow german Sapphics in the chat?
@acc454602 жыл бұрын
Mak's "Do I feel like I'm trans or something? No, I don't think I am." made me think about my own feelings about gender. I'm more like "Yeah, I probably am trans, but I'm comfortable enough with my body and social role, so to speak, to move through life without any changes." I have questioned my gender for a long time. When I got with my current girlfriend I explained my feelings to her as well as I could, and I'm happy to say that she would support me, and that my gender doesn't matter to her. The way I label myself changes. Most times I don't label myself at all. If I come out, I come out as a (cis) lesbian. But that's only because people look at my girlfriend and me and see a lesbian couple.
@ariadnarivas260 Жыл бұрын
I really, really loved and enjoyed this video!! You guys have the perfect dynamic!
@chelister27 Жыл бұрын
I'd like to believe that this is where they came up with the idea for the podcast 🤗
@conlon43322 жыл бұрын
9:13 Speaking of, I really recommend Bob And Rose. It's quite short, but it's a really great programme that explores this idea in a great way. It's about a gay man who falls in love with a woman, and I really love how it explores that. It's by Russel T Davies, who is a brilliant writer. He's the guy who brought back Doctor Who in 2005, as well as creating The Sarah Jane Adventures and Torchwood, all three of which were super successful programmes. He's a brilliant writer, and side-note but I'm really looking forward to him coming back to Doctor Who, just like every other Whovian I've heard even mention the subject. Anyway, Bob And Rose is based on a real thing that happened to someone he knew I believe, and it deals with everything in a really interesting way. It's a great watch, seriously.
@olufson2 жыл бұрын
First of all, the guy's clearly bi then even if he previously thought he was gay. You really typed out "gay man who falls in love with a woman" and didn't think this is gruesomely homophobic "conversion"-bait? It's simply an oxymoron, you can't be gay and fall in love with someone of the opposite sex, that's what homosexuality means ffs. I don't doubt that these one-in-a-million occurrences happen where someone goes from identifying as gay to realizing they're bi (rather than the extremely common straight/bi-to-gay route which is the direct result of societal heteronormativity, compulsory heterosexuality and internalized homophobia caused by both) but in the cases where someone wrongly thinks they're gay, the person either has trauma relating to the opposite sex or is mentally troubled in some other way. I read about this straight CSA survivor who was assaulted by someone of the same sex ending up thinking they were gay although they weren't. This also disproves the horrid homophobic trope of "sexual assault turning people gay". However, most of these "ex-gays" are actually religious conservatives brainwashed into hating themselves and repressing their homosexuality, which is unspeakably sad. Even if they aren't religious zealots, they're just deeply insecure conformist middle-aged people who never learnt to accept themselves, trying to convince themselves that they love someone of the opposite sex they find vaguely tolerable so they can fulfill their "societal duty" of getting hetero married and multiplying in complete social privilege and security. Usually, especially the men obviously end up cheating with other men whom they actually desire until the ultimate miserable demise of the fake lavender marriage at an age where it's difficult to start over in a gay relationship with someone they can actually love. This model is the very pinnacle of age-old homophobia and gay/ bi people forcing themselves into hetero relations, which is just self-r*pe, certainly for gay people. Anyone who tries to frame this is as some grand progressive self-discovery and "fluidity" is just openly leaning into the most essentialist homophobia which denies the very existence of homosexuality aka exclusive same-sex attraction. I can't take anyone seriously who thinks this process of succumbing to internalized homophobia out of desperation is in any way comparable to gay people lying about being bi in order to make their same-sex attraction more palatable in a homophobic world. There is absolutely no logical reason why in a society where everyone is bullied by hetero propaganda into thinking they're straight by default, you wouldn't have figured out by adulthood that you, in fact, Are attracted to the opposite sex and decided to lie about being gay, for what? An oppression fetish? Unfortunately, unlike 2001 when this programme was made, these days a lot of kids are making each other think that LGBT+ community is some "cool subculture" they can join and identify into with dozens of microidentities and genders based on dresscode. So there are actually more straight people who have and will most likely never want to be in a gay relationship calling themselves bi, gay or queer etc. All the while thinking they have any right to speak on our issues, even speaking over us gay people, who are actually marginalized in every societal facet and will never have the opportunity to just "opt out of gayness" when it gets too inconvenient and illegal, disallowing us from dating, having children and getting married, which at a certain age people start feeling socially pressured to do. I appreciate a lot of Russell T Davies' work but it's no surprise he made this show in 2001 when homophobic execs and audiences would have really appreciated a gay man validating their "he just hasn't met the right woman yet" bigotry. There is absolutely no-one who's not a homophobe who benefits from such stories. No-one is ever oppressed for being in a hetero relationship, in fact most hetero-attracted people, whether they're closeted homophobes or open about it, would be jubilant at someone they thought was gay discovering what they consider "normal attraction" and hence being capable of breeding or whatever. At most, a few gay people would be shocked and grossed out having previously been led to believe they were one of us. Boo-f*cking-hoo, what devastating "oppression". I genuinely would rather sit through het romance dramas (and trust me, there's not many things I'd like to do less) than watch a straight person play a fake gay person who turns out to be bisexual happily engaging in a het relationship. The very thought makes me feel like I'm forced to watch conversion "therapy" (read: torture). Absolutely nothing more disgusting and gut-wrenchingly offensive than someone publicly lying about being gay and then unashamedly getting into a het relationship like they haven't just been seen as proving the most vile homophobic tropes to be true (because homophobes will still think of them as gay people who were successfully converted rather than realize they've always been bi; apparently even you did, and for some reason I doubt you'd identify as a homophobic heterosexual). So there's no good in pretending there's no ill intent and harm in pretending to be gay and pin the blame solely on the homophobic r*pey heteros ready to take advantage of that. In fact, recently I discovered, to the detriment of my sanity, that there is a most rancid sub-section of homophobic bi men out there who get off on a "corrective" r*pe fetish and who, of course, lie that they're gay to make it even worse, placing real gay people even more at risk at the hands of homophobic perverts. There's also a stomach-churning amount of fake "lesbians" on social media who mainly drool after gay men and vulgarly and explicitly describe sexually assaulting them without perceiving it, again, as the "corrective" r*pe fetish that it is. They act as if fantasizing about penetrating a gay man with a strap-on is a lesbian act, when in reality it is the most twistedly homophobic zesty het, heteronormative and misogynistic mentally deranged behaviour. Then they have the audacity to get offended when someone points out that they're clearly a homophobic straight or barely-bi hag fetishizing gay men. I genuinely can't tell if they believe their own homophobic bs and need to be institutionalized immediately or if they're just fully aware of being homophobic and lesbophobic trolls who deserve to croak. And they receive almost no criticism! All the like-minded freaks are nodding along with their depraved insanity which denies the existence of both gay men and lesbians and particularly disgustingly, hetero-enforcingly implies those two, by very definition and innate nature, entirely incompatible groups could ever be romantically/sexually attracted to one another. We'll never have any solidarity between gay and bi people if bi people won't stop lying about being gay, accepting and espousing heteronormativity, fetishizing opposite-sex homosexuality and homophobia as well as acting like they are exempt from enforcing, upholding and contributing to the latter. In fact, such bi people are the worst offenders because no-one who's not already a homophobe believes a straight person saying that gay people can turn to opposite-sex attraction but they will believe a bisexual who claims "to have been gay".. If one's genuinely confused, there's nothing wrong with admitting that they're on the bi spectrum and have an overwhelming attraction to the same sex, no damage done if they end up realizing they are actually gay. There's so many acknowledged options now, queer or sapphic and so on, if you feel like lesbian is a "too constrictive" label. That's the whole damn point, if you feel "gate-kept" by it then guess what, you're no lesbian. Bisexuality is ambiguous and might shift, being gay isn't. There is nothing complicated about this and I wish people would stop being intellectually dishonest and pretending it's hard to define and understand. If you feel the need to genuinely "leave the door open" for the idea of dating people of each sex, then you're not monosexual, aka gay or straight. Some gay people do it to preserve themselves, give their homophobic families false hope to cope etc, that's different. But if you really feel like you could fall for the opposite sex then you're not gay. And it's particularly gross and pathetic to homophobia-bait again by saying things like "dating men makes women want you" to pat yourself on the back because in reality you are ashamed of dating men (whether because you're actually a lesbian and you committed this crime against your nature or because you are a bi woman who desperately wants to be a lesbian for some reason). Dating men is embarrassing even for most straight women, you do not get to frame this as some "liberating", "beneficial" or even "necessary" experience for lesbians lol, you're just displaying your homophobia again. Doing the opposite though is knowingly acting as a devil's advocate to the homophobes and I will never respect such a despicable bi person as "one of our own". I appreciate every het person who minds their own business and every honest bi person who admits they're mostly hetero without lying about being "so gay" while hypocritically only ever exhibiting het thrist and exclusively being in het relationships a thousand times more. I genuinely don't understand how homophobic someone would have to be to lie about being gay only to casually turn to heterosexualism, like how do they not combust on spot from the morbid insurpassable shame and disgust at their own gayness-fetishizing putrid imposter self? I'm even ashamed of pretending to have liked a boy at 14, and I never even went on a date with one let alone anything more.
@conlon43322 жыл бұрын
@@olufson You're right, it is an oxymoron; an inherent contradiction, but that doesn't make it not true. Life isn't black and white, identity especially so. Two things that seem to completely contradict each other can both be true. People can identify as whatever feels right for them, even if it doesn't fit the dictionary definition. Plus, it was written by a gay man, based on the real experiences of someone he knew. Look, watch the programme and if you still, then, believe Bob was bisexual then I guess that's up to you. But you can't talk until you've actually seen it.
@conlon43322 жыл бұрын
@@olufson Oh my gosh, I've just come onto a better device where I can actually see how much you've written! You have a lot that you're frustrated about, I can see that, but I don't think it's fair to take it out on a (really interesting and well written) programme that you've never seen. What labels people should use aside, it's really not that unreasonable for someone to reach adulthood only having been attracted to the same sex, only to be attracted to someone of the opposite sex later in life. Rare exceptions to your sexuality are not that strange, and yes - sometimes they can be so rare that it takes years before you experience one. Many people might use the label homoflexible, which reflects the majority of their attraction, while still leaving space for those exceptions. I personally use that label. I thought I was a lesbian - I still often use that word for simplicity's sake, because it wasn't until I was 15 that I experienced any attraction at all to boys, and this is in the context of knowing I liked girls since 11. Yes, homoflexible does fall under the bi umbrella, but saying I was simply bisexual wouldn't feel right when less than 1 in 20 of the people I'm attracted to are guys.
@CloverLovesTT2 жыл бұрын
@@conlon4332 homoflexible is just bi. why are you people so afraid to admit you’re bi? jesus. it’s okay. it’s literally fine.
@CloverLovesTT2 жыл бұрын
@@olufson thank you so much. i love you for this reply. as a lesbian (a LESBIAN Lesbian) i feel like i’m going insane reading these comments.
@hellomark12 жыл бұрын
Hey Mak I used to have two tongue piercings (one in front of the other) and the initial piercing is no big deal, but then it takes like 12-24 hours for your brain to decide that you don't just have an extra piece of food in your mouth or something.... for me it didn't happen until like 4am the next day. So you're constantly salivating and feeling like you're not finished eating or something
@sadiya9612 жыл бұрын
You two need to start a podcast together
@itsnotphases2 жыл бұрын
I was thinking about the name of the show and all I can think of is "Lesbian vs Baby Gay: All Grown Up"
@itsv44882 жыл бұрын
I really need more of em together in one video more in my life.
@N0ticeMeShenpaiiASMR2 жыл бұрын
ive watched sooo many of your vids recently after you came up on my recommended last week! here's my algorithm boosting comment
@junomcguff2 жыл бұрын
Alayna should write a book 🥰 she's so well spoken
@MischaKavin2 жыл бұрын
19:57 Is anyone else so down for a found footage romcom cut together from the video that gets shot before and after these videos?
@satvikidas53422 жыл бұрын
this is my daily dose of internet :)
@melaniea48902 жыл бұрын
You really are my comfort youtuber, I love your videos! It makes me so happy to see a new upload!
@RoxaneJ142 жыл бұрын
Mak was like you know the saying "idk if i wanna be her or be with her", well i want girls to think that about me and imma do that by dating men
@SamandEm2 жыл бұрын
Hi Alanna!! Commenting to boost this video 💕
@MeIsDumbTrash11 ай бұрын
i turned 18 in august and just remembered that means i can watch this videa LETS GO IM SO EXC
@Kateee20053 ай бұрын
Omg I know this is old but sameee
@phiatevault22882 жыл бұрын
10:28 coming from a trumpet player this is very true actually lmao
@morganmcmann40582 жыл бұрын
This video is an insight into Maks therapy session... Love you both! Incredible influencers for gay women
@KiKiStarling2 жыл бұрын
This is a beautiful video and I'm so annoyed KZbin age restricted it. Also, dunno why I could watch it on my phone but not my Roku? Same account on both.
@XiggyJ2 жыл бұрын
Makingemi is so cute, I can’t stop blushing over here looking at her. 🥺
@theodorec57752 жыл бұрын
I really don't know why this was age-restricted. Great discussion!
@jp_89942 жыл бұрын
Love these types of video, just two friends chatting and making us laugh
@ninin112 жыл бұрын
PLEASE i wanna watch y’all rock climbing
@carison932 жыл бұрын
What you said about labels is exactly how i feel and i couldn't explain it to others why I didn't want to label myself and now I know exactly what to say.. Thank you❤
@stephtaylor62922 жыл бұрын
Oh this made me so happy! 😄 ...and omg can't wait for the thirst trap/climbing collab!!!!! 🧗 ... And yes pleasaassse do a family episode with you Ashley and Mak. This would just make my heart so happy!!!
@bellesasmr2 жыл бұрын
this editing is really good like between the two of you talking and stuff 👏👏
@Kintayisme2 жыл бұрын
Everyone needs this content in their life
@kimberlynann2 жыл бұрын
Family Feud going down on the IG is *chef's kiss
@charlie-de4in2 жыл бұрын
I could listen to you two, Ashley, and Kate talk, ALL day!!💕💕
@carolinecagle32662 жыл бұрын
Oh...now I realize that this is why I did that...
@camiyuoff2 жыл бұрын
I love your collabs so much! It's so cool! Always having a great time watching those videos! And bonus : I learn so much... its mind-blowing!
@alessandrahaha2 жыл бұрын
Don't have the time to watch his video yet but when I will I am sure it will be hilarious - it's nice to know something great is waiting in my subscriptions 🥰