Dating Strategy to Help You Manage your Moods, Expectations, and BPD

[@Mina-us8jo]

I was crying watching this but I laugh when he said "In chapter one we don't talk about trauma" why it's so easy to just start talking about it with someone you just met 😂😭

[@luckycharm1212]

Because we don't want to waste our time with someone who doesn't accept us for what happened to us. Also it's a subtle warning sign to let them know what to expect from us in the future like our bpd rage and to be patient with us without abandoning us. In a nutshell to avoid being misunderstood and rejected which are huge triggers for pwBPD.

[@mariahconklin4150]

Lol I know right? I’ve always done that. My ex did it to but he doesn’t have BPD just trauma.

[@mariahconklin4150]

@@luckycharm1212 yep that’s why I told my ex about my BPD but sense I’m a Christian I told him, “I don’t think I have it.” Of course he said, “I don’t think you have it either.” We both screwed everything up in the beginning though because I thought he was playing games with me by not texting me back. Like someone else also said, “we live in a world of lies” and I’d just like to add to that “with a lot of traumatized adults children” we are adults but we’re walking around with such deep wounds. It sucks

[@chanellejayd7320]

Defs makes me wanna cry

[@jcast9569]

@@mariahconklin4150 you have to let those wounds heal, otherwise you will bleed on someone who never cut you.

[@aquasun4148]

Having BPD is like being in love with love...

[@kasaendra3550]

that comment hitted way too hard

[@briancardoza9720]

Thanks Disney! Lol

[@susancucci580]

And hating the fact you're in love with love

[@PetrKL21]

For me trying to date, even online, is like entering a dense mine field full of pain, judgement and rejection. In therapy, on meds, hoping to get better.

[@littlelily4]

Me too...I really hope I'm gonna be truly happy one day...this whole covid mess unfortunately doesn't help the feeling of void inside of us

[@seemu2927]

Good luck to you !

[@moatazbellahnagla4723]

you will. stay strong and positive

[@PetrKL21]

Update: just so you know guys, my girlfriend and I just had our 4 month anniversary. It really can and does get better! 😊

[@camogrrl]

Learn to be happy single. Work on your self until you can attract quality and keep it.

[@melodie5951]

"You deserve someone who values your time and does what they say they do." "Your job is not to save them or change them." This video is GOLD. Such an eyeopener, I'm so happy I found your channel, thank you so much Dr.Fox.

[@Themarleymarie]

When he said "When folks with bpd start talking about their family it goes down a dark road pretty fast " ... Whewww Chile. you can say again! 🥴😓😅 I LOL'D

[@TheDevineFempress]

😂😂😂 @whew Chile

[@happylindsay4475]

“Let’s get physical!” 🤦🏽‍♀️😂 The Dad humor is what keeps me coming back- the lack of judgement and lightness of tone is so good Dr.Fox- thanks for sharing your empathy,compassion and intellect with us.

[@divinegrace5002]

Please please please do a video on bpd and codependency.

[@NickRaven]

Absolutely.

[@vesthibitionist]

agreed

[@amberlynnroy1641]

Yes!!!

[@yourenough3]

That would be a great 👍

[@frankievalentine6112]

I think he has a few already!

[@sunshinemolly8429]

I would love to see a BPD book of building friendships!!

[@meghan111510]

Yes!!

[@paintedrockmt]

Extra yes please....

[@aharris237]

‘I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me’ is a helpful book

[@VanillaBean15]

Yes please

[@LurkingLinnet]

​@@aharris237thanks

[@shamma1354]

You mentioned off hand a point about borderline and over sexualization. I’d love to see a video explaining that deeper!

[@SecondChanceHiker]

Yes I want this video so bad as well!

[@contracontrole]

Me too

[@morganbest5573]

Same

[@supremesyb]

bib

[@healthyhappy4life]

same here! 09:57

[@insaniquariumfan99]

this is swag dr. daniel fox

[@dr.lecter8818]

It’s so hurtful yet comforting how every sentence of this feels like a description of who I am. I guess I’m learning to accept my BPD and learning to work with it or around it has been mentally taxing. Yet, I know if I don’t stay on course I will fall short of who I want to be so thank you for continuing to do what you do Dr.

[@bpdwoman2564]

“Reading the chapter, doesn’t mean you have to finish the book.” Love that. That’s definitely “gray zone thinking.” I was also wondering if it’s possible you could do a video on sexual trauma /BPD and developing relationships in adulthood? Your chapter 3, ‘let’s get physical’ made me think of this. Personally this would also be a video that would be helpful to me .

[@rsgirrl]

That would be perfect... I’ve lost trust abs never want to be abandoned again, it’s weird bc since I was young I’ve always been hurt by abandonment by friends now narcissist spouse of 34 yrs ... I’m understanding why we had toxic relationship even at 16 and 19 got worse he’s malignant covert narcissist I’m borderline... awful going thru divorce with Narc

[@LeoLover-l9e]

Me too!

[@drina4706]

Some BPD sufferers do not feel empty or better yet, have triggers that make them feel empty like chronic physical illness and not having enough energy to do what one is expected and supposed to do. That, my family member says leaves him feeling empty. He also doesn't suffer from not knowing who he is. He doesn't have that symptom nor understands it. But he feels loneliness, sometimes intensely and that's when he wants the relationship to work and is giving it his all even when the other person shows toxic traits. But he is getting better at recognizing those traits and ending relationships. He has also become more comfortable being lonely. But chronic physical illness is extremely challenging to anyone but especially to someone who has BPD and I am assuming any other mental illness. He works extra hard. He is tired of the stigma.

[@CamillaVikaHgemark]

going to watch this a bunch of times. it just feels like it was aimed at me directly. perfect. thank you!

[@catanne4700]

Right???!! I just had the thought that I could watch this at least once an hour for a full day. Gad, he's good, it's like he's in my brain. Absolutely wish I had this information yeeeears ago.

[@RiverReeves23]

I'd love to see a video on codependency in ppl with BPD.

[@kahlil9399]

I actually have a story about someone who became my favourite person and partner. They were into me before I was into them. We became bestfriends for a little over a year before we got closer. It was a really confusing time for me during the transition to dating and I can't imagine how difficult that made it for her when i was unsure about my own feelings but she wanted all in. I'm happy it happened the way it did though. She's helped me mature in ways i didn't know ever needed to. It's weird how things don't go the way you expect and become something you couldn't imagine without. She has truly helped me become a better person and i love her so dearly. update: she gave me her cheesy noodle ramen I'm finna cry.

[@saharaburson111]

I have found that choosing someone you don’t feel a ton of obsessive passion for but whom you get along with well and who doesn’t trigger a lot of your emotional reactivity works better. Is it a bit like dating a friend? Yes. But you get that companionship, support, and love without so much of the reactivity and dependence.

[@luzpreciado5946]

Do as you wish but I dont think is fair for the partner...😊

[@vanessap8717]

Idk, I’m secure and a great partner but when I want to talk about how something made me feel within my relationship, it triggers my partner, even though I’m not critical and always kind. Sometimes you just need to work through those issues in yourself and not put the blame on other.

[@adiero]

How I wish I'd watched this 20 years ago! Never to late to change.

[@ThatkidwithCP]

Dr. Fox, you should turn this into an actual book.

[@happylindsay4475]

Please because I read “ I Hate You, Don’t Leave me” and I really didn’t appreciate it at all. I find Dr. Fox’s outlook on Personality Disorders in general really different and new affirming and empowering.

[@ThatkidwithCP]

@@happylindsay4475 Totally agree about I Hate You, Don't Leave Me.

[@satisfyhelter-skelter4666]

This could be such a cute, lovely little book :D

[@creepydani3225]

it would be a great little pocket book you can consult in the bathroom while your date is waiting for you haha!

[@eugeniakouts6972]

I just had a small episode, but after watching two or three videos, I feel better.

[@jamlaw]

Wow I had a wild thought pop up when you said "it's not your job to heal them/save them...". A voice inside me said "well then why am I with them?" That just really put things into perspective for me about a lot of my unconscious motivations in dating.

[@charlottemakeuplover1012]

I am trying to go out dating but I am nervous & this video looks perfect for me. Its like scary how on time this is being posted for me personally 😅 🙃 😳

[@divinegrace5002]

I know what you mean, i feel so much anxiety like even getting ready for a date throws in an anxiety attack i take hours and hours if not days to prepare n get ready for a date.Other times i procrastinate meeting them ,,,,,,hope this video will change the game for me,,,doctor fox has changed my life in many many many ways.....

[@NaNa-re3wc]

Lately I’ve fallen back into old habits a bit and this was really a reality check for me that also offered a solution. I am now more self aware and ready for changes that promote further growth.

[@baconology3065]

This is advice parents should give their children!

[@TasteTheD]

Chapter 3 always makes me think I have to finish the book and I contort myself to fit in this person's life despite sabotaging my own happiness because physical connection is one of the only things that humanizes me. I need to stop this immediately! Thanks again, I am on such a journey thanks to your videos!

[@DrDanielFox]

I’m glad it’s helpful. Stay strong and be well.

[@mysticalpineapple7263]

I’m 25 from Australia, female. Got substance addiction like no tomorrow.... Finally seeing a psychologist and said detox first and therapy after. (Found yourself a good psychologist) this took years and a lot of frustration .

[@brooklynnmcloud1470]

the hardest part of this for me is rectifying that’s I’m supposed to date someone completely the opposite of myself but somehow still expect that person to love me.

[@DrDanielFox]

That’s not my message or intent. Sorry if the message got misconstrued for you. Be well.

[@brooklynnmcloud1470]

@@DrDanielFox It wasn’t meant as a criticism. I’m just early on and having a hard time conceptualizing of some person who’s incredibly emotionally stable and emotionally validating, who’s going to want someone who’s a full time project in their life.

[@kimberlychapman4104]

Can you do a video on friendships... and bpd... and having success at it...

[@sharonramirez767]

I’ve been spent so much money on therapy and prescriptions and none of it helped me understand so much about my own bpd than these videos. I’ve never felt more understood. Thank you for posting these videos.

[@PriNc3zZa19]

I had a toxic relationship for 12 years so healed for 2 years than dated one guy for a while. I ended it out of fear of abandonment. Realize now I had been living with bpd for most of my life.

[@mariahhernandez7126]

I got diagnosed with BPD when I was 16. I am 20 years old now. I was offered great therapists and medication to help. And I rejected all of it because of the fear of being unsafe. Tonight I have watched all your videos and it has validated myself completely. I took out my notebook and wrote everything I needed to help me actually take charge of myself and my mental health. Our mental illness doesn’t make us who we are. We can most definitely cope and change and help our lives be more comfortable if we take charge and find a more adaptive way to ensure us who we truly are. I wish I could have you as my therapist. You have already changed my mental state and I couldn’t thank God more for placing you in my recommendations. You are a true blessing Dr. Fox! 💖

[@Sensei_Sean]

Psychologists are not allowed to diagnose BPD until the age of 18... Are you sure you're not just a narcissist?... 🙃

[@ekaterinastaneva9922]

I was incredibly bad around your age, as in dangerous. 15 years later I am significantly better, have some good friends, a steady career, a long term partner and now a baby. I was never diagnosed until now, although I was 100% sure I have it. Learning from videos and books, writing things down, reconceptulising and not indulging on substances helped so much. Good luck unknown young person, you've got this!

[@Chris-bk8nc]

I have BpD and struggle with codependency. I would love to see a video on that

[@shar4012]

I've always felt this intenseness in all my relationships but thought it was normal lol learn something new everyday lol

[@charlesbromberick4247]

Let´s hear more about this "over-sexualized".

[@creepydani3225]

This is such a great video. Things may be very complex in reality, but when you're so much more lost than the average person, a discrete and concrete guidebook is really a game changer. Relationships for people with personality disorders are like trying to dance when you can hardly hold your emotional balance.

[@JPinthe719]

I started dating someone I have known for 20 years last year and I think we went through all 4 chapters in about 8 weeks. It was too overwhelming for me, I freaked out and they moved on pretty quickly. This is a very helpful video.

[@RaysDad]

The advice in this video is really helpful -- People try to rush through the early stages of dating and fail to let chemistry develop naturally. The best first date I ever had was (don't laugh) a game of miniature golf.

[@ryana411]

I have BPD and have been married 10+ years... perfect timing for this video... I feel I can still use this video in my own situation... as always thank you Dr.Fox!

[@clouddot1462]

Wow, great video! I didn’t realise that I detest small talk when I’m romantically interested in a person, that small talk was a sign of them being disinterested because they aren’t asking deep questions...... but to learn that it’s normal in the first stages *mind blown* The opposite is true for people who I see as friends, I love small talk but hate deep questions/convos.

[@akkamiau]

i think people do not change, if, it must be a deep trauma in a play or some other significant incident... we like what we know...

[@caitlinamandastewart]

Mines doesn’t tell me I’m boring, it tells me I’m annoying them

[@JaneSmith0709]

Finally! A road map for relationships! I wish I had seen this video 40 years ago!

[@RitualCat]

Im watching this because I’ve been single for close to 3 years and I met someone. I really really like them, and we both feel caught of guard by the how easy it is to be with the other. I haven’t date since I had my diagnosis and I really don’t want to fuck this up

[@kylemcclellan9686]

Obviously every relationship is going to have a different timeline and pace, but could you elaborate on specifically how to tell that you've spent enough time in each chapter rather than thinking "welp, I touched on that area, time to go to the next chapter!"?

[@MellieHappyGhost]

That’s my question

[@snowredsnow666]

Same here 😅

[@OneRockyBoi77]

Omg when he said not to make excuses for the other person I almost broke down. I do that all the time and I just got out of a relationship that I had made excuses for them treating me badly and yelling at me for no reason for 2 years. I hate that I instinctively ignore red flags

[@SecondChanceHiker]

Omg thank you so much for this video! Please make more healthy dating videos if you can! I am binge watching your videos and this one was extremely helpful! I am on the 5th month of a breakup with 3 months of no contact and still feel so much pain. This video helped give me so much perspective that I should have left on chapter 2. She didn’t value my time. Chapter 3 was an even bigger red flag she was not attracted to me. Yet I stayed because of the fear of abandonment. I became a sheep farmer to make her happy and gave up my hobbies for her. I will listen to this video a dozen times if I have to so my next relationship starts out healthy.

[@vivanesca]

its hard to explain how helpful your videos have been for me. thank you so much

[@Djs20296]

This is all so relevant for my life. How many people saw this video was coming and were more excited than another Star Wars movie?

[@Mattismen]

I had a relationship that fell apart thanks to my trust issues and self-sabotage. That was over 8 years ago. A good while later, about 3 years ago, I developed romantic feelings for a friend, and I didn't handle it well. I was honest and upfront about it, and although they didn't feel the same they told me not to worry about it. It didn't help much. I felt like I was terrible friend and that I didn't deserve their friendship or understanding. It was the worst couple of months in my life, emotionally. It got so bad I could barely be in the same room cause I was overcome with guilt and shame, and eventually started to lash out at them passive aggressively in an attempt to help them see how shitty I really am. Congratulations to me I guess, because it worked. I stopped talking to other people and kept to myself as best I could, my head filled with paranoid and suicidal thoughts. I'm not just scared of dating, I'm terrified at the thought of falling in love, and have convinced myself it's the worst thing that could happen to me; the worst thing I could do to someone. I was doing alright again, but then my cat disappeared a couple of weeks ago, presumed dead by now, so my wellbeing is spiraling downwards and my studies are falling behind. I didn't know too much about BPD until recently, but your videos has helped make some sense out this head of mine, and I've reached out for possible evaluation and therapy, although who knows how long it'll take to get an answer. Stay fresh.

[@AnimosityIncarnate]

Are you me 😭 Hope you're going better homie. I'm in the exact same spot 2 years later... The worst part was she also had BPD and we were like endlessly pouring gasoline on the entire relationship.

[@thelovely961]

I'm 30 years old and only realised this year that I have quiet bpd so I was never fully self aware even though I knew something was wrong. I did all of the don'ts that you've listed. 😂😂

[@TheVividgirl]

And voices, I hate my voices. They seems so real.

[@edytasakai1547]

I am so happy to find your channel . My life it’s getting easier and better day by day . I am very thankful . I didn’t realize that I was BPD till now age of 40 and it all makes so much sense to me now .

[@Coolvideobrokfjdjd]

“Let’s get physical” You are the dad i think we all wish we had Dr Fox 😂😂 thank you for such amazing content!!

[@Renia118]

While I am watching this after meeting my current boyfriend, I think we’re okay. Our relationship did move very quickly, it was very intense early on, but we communicate well, and we were both on the same page early on that while it was fast, we were both comfortable with it. He is such a kind person, and caring in ways my past partners were not. I will say we did end up trauma bonding in between, but it brought us so much closer together. The relationship feels “easy” for both of us, and while we have had some problems along the way (I’m working on it) I think we are extremely healthy. I have been very clear with myself that I don’t want him to change, I love him for who he is.

[@nefwaenre]

*Yes, please do a video on codependency!!* i feel like i'm totally depended on my parents and will be depended on a partner. i find that i don't want to be the 'older' person or the leader, but i want to be the 'younger' and the follower. i'll follow and take care of the back end by i need a front lead. This has to do with my childhood and the pressure to be the mature one as i'm the "elder" one and i don't want to be the grown up, the "one who has to lead". This pressure ultimately lead to my life ending.

[@lana_blue]

I don't have BPD myself, but I just wanted to say I think everyone, and especially people with a history of trauma in their childhood or early life, should listen to your book of love. Great resource! Thankyou!

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you very much and I’m glad that you found the video helpful. Take care.

[@KpopManiac4Life]

Yess to the codependency video, pls do more of these!!!I'm in my early 20s and I've only recently dated and it is SUCH a maze omg

[@CleverestWitch2188]

I feel so fucking exposed by this video. It's like someone finally understood me for the first time. But it makes my BPD want to fight someone. Lol. I've been seeing this guy for a bit now and he said to me like... I want to do more things together and just spend time together. I understood what he meant... But this just reaffirms that I needed to be slowed down in that moment. Big ooph. I'm sold. I definitely need to check out your book finally. I think this could be honestly life changing for me as I'm about to start my DBT therapy tommorrow. I'm scared but I'm optimistic about my future potential. ❤️❤️

[@abbye6952]

he always drops these videos at the right time. quiet borderline here suffering in my relationship, i'm causing a lot of problems and can't seem to figure out how to go ab my relationship moving forward, dont wanna hurt my partner but struggling because we both love eachother and want a future. ugh

[@megansnead1393]

I SOOOO needed this right now! Beyond helpful! Thank you Dr. Fox!!! Loved the line, "You deserve someone's attention. You deserve someone who does what they say, and says what they do." The hit home to me.

[@lisamarie3465]

Not gonna lie, I wish I could just swoop up whomever I'm connecting with and take them home with me. (In a non creepy way....if that's even possible haha) I just feel as if there aren't many I do have a strong connection with. The last time I felt truly connected with someone was in middle school about 15 years ago. Haven't met someone to connect with that strongly since. What I got from this video was practically something I had already known. It just confirmed it. My need for friends is caused by my chronic emptiness that's causing me not to be ok with being a lone. I need other people's vibes to feed off of cuz I don't like feeding off myself and myself alone. ...as I've grown , I've come to learn from and doubt my connections cuz they rarely are what they seem. Thank you for the advice. I'll be keeping them in mind for the future. ❤️❤️

[@bpdwoman2564]

Dr. Fox, QUESTION FOR YOU...your videos are so helpful and I might add NEVER judgmental, which is so needed for those of living with BPD. I read or maybe saw that what those with BPD are actually love bombing and entrapping (much how people/professional describe narcissism)-is this your view? I know there is likely some overlap in Cluster B, although I tend to see the major difference is that those with BPD Have tons of empathy and those with NPD have little to give. Making the partnership obviously Opportunistic for one person. And yes please, I would like a video on BPD/co-dependency. There are other high profile docs out there that have a ton of negative views on BPD and co-dependency. Which, I find super harmful and ethically questionable. Could you please create a vid on the similarities? I find myself seeing both creep up, and dating really seems to ramp these up, especially when pre dating , I feel quite independent and un “clingy.”

[@ryana411]

💯 ...that was well put!

[@bpdwoman2564]

@@ryana411 thank you🙂

[@happylindsay4475]

Great comment 😊 thank you.

[@bpdwoman2564]

@@happylindsay4475 pleasure🥰

[@jean-pierrep6844]

Hit the nail on the head for me.

[@bdmenne]

You are the Guy, BPD Whisperer. Thank you.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thanks for compliment and support. Be well.

[@mariahconklin4150]

It’s crazy because God has put it on my heart to get married and have kids one day but all I can think of is well If that happens the guy will leave me.

[@sleeplessinmanila4300]

I've only learned about your channel a few days back, after having a huge fight with my person that almost lead to a break up. It's such a blessing to have come across your videos and I have learned a lot from it already.

[@itsalorikatpnw]

I mentally can't do small talk. I won't even be focused on the person..... I'll just be focused on how effective my small talk is and get stuck in my head and not present. I've tried. It doesn't work. Small talk is neither "easy" nor "breezy." Its complicated and stressful.

[@arodnahcoremor3720]

I always feel like I owe it to the other person to stay, even if I don't want to be in the relationship. Now that you explain this or all makes sense, thank you ❤️

[@daynaclift2276]

Wish this was around when i was younger, it would have saved me from a lot of pain and crappy relationships.

[@DrDanielFox]

Never too late 👍

[@SuperMarion61]

Yes, please do a video on BPD & co-dependency. Is it unusual to only realise you might have BPD in your 50’s? I’ve also been co-dependent, constant urge to please others, overly on alert to others moods , have addiction issues & abandonment issues after losing my Mother at age 13.

[@britneyspheres7yearsago11]

I guess it is unusual as anything with age as people tend to get more stubborn as they grow older, so a lot of people might not believe they have mental issues. It’s very exemplary I think how open-minded you are! Sorry about your experiences. Hope you can get a good diagnosis and either way find more peace in the future

[@jenniferb4324]

I wonder this too.

[@Rocklefebvre]

Dr. Fox, I've been watching your videos for some years now. In the beginning when I finally got diagnosed, I would watch you every day during lunch. You've helped me so much. I just started a relationship with this great guy. I am very well aware of my borderline behavior patterns when it comes to meeting someone new. But I am so amazed at how similar we are. There was an immediate connection. I've had that before, but not like this... And I am very well of my borderline behavior patterns. I guess I kinda rushed through chapter 1 through 2... But from chapter 2 on, I have been doing and observing things exactly as you suggest in your video. Thank you so much for that, I feel more confident to trust my feelings, intuition and experiences now. It's been working. Looking forward to more videos!

[@aleksandra14a]

I watch this video over and over again. I almost know them by heart by now.

[@DrDanielFox]

I'm so glad this video was helpful for you. I wish you well.

[@mebeasensei]

Thank you. I had a bad predisposition to BPD or whatever it should be called, and the whole 'Mental Disorder Label' industry. But what you say here resonates. I usually disassocite myself. when I open my self I am soooo vulnerable to these swings and triggers and maladaptions and jumping to conclusions. Bless you all - that is coming from a non-believer!

[@MadiMacdougall]

just wanted to say and i hope you see this but you are a living angel i literally was in such a down depressive moment and literally wanted to give up and then watching your vids give me so much hope, i don't really have family that talks ab growing up or anything so i've had to figure it and i don't really have a father figure that's present and you have helped me so much i hope you know you change lives on the daily. i'm 21 and diagnosed w bpd, did, panic disorder and so on but i get in the head space a lot that i j need to learn to accept the fact that i won't b able to have a relationship in this life but i watch your videos and they give me so much comfort and hope and it's really something i've needed. god really answered my prayers when i came along your channel. i hope you know the amounts of ppl u convince to keep going. really can't thank you enough but thank you

[@andynelson7773]

Every time I start one of these videos I feel a sense of dread like I’m staring up at a giant mountain I need to clear a road through to get to a better self, by the time the video ends though I always feel a little bit better.

[@theharringtons2010]

I have been single for 15 years..even the thought of dating gives me anxiety...this is a great video so helpful. Thank you so much 😁

[@michellejagmohan567]

This video has literally helped me in such a major way. I suffer from bpd and it’s given me tools to actually make friends and date

[@amberlynnroy1641]

You're awesome Dr. Daniel Fox! This was very helpful, informative, and easy to understand. I really appreciate the time, effort, and commitment you put into these videos. You're very passionate, and it really comes through in each of your videos. I can not thank you enough. I'm very grateful, and I appreciate you. 🙏

[@XthefinalbossX]

I feel like he understands me so well

[@jasminesharp376]

Man, this video hit me so hard, I needed to hear this ❤️

[@Annie22244]

not me realizing I just skipped right to chapter 4 in all 25 'relationships' I have had and me having wondered why they always ended by them leaving me.. damn this is kinda sad.. but thank you so much for this video! I really did learn a lot!

[@treanibean]

Gee you're so tuned into bpd. Listening to you is scaring me, as if you've picked my mind. Thankyou for dedicating so much of your life to helping us. You're an amazing soul. Cheers Dr.Fox ❤

[@ck6835]

Yesterday i saw the worksheets on your website that you share for free. This is very helpfull for people that want to learn about themselves but cant afford therapy yet. Thank you so much!

[@DrDanielFox]

You’re welcome and I’m glad you find them helpful. Be well.

[@ceaseanddesist8036]

As a man what my biggest challenge when it comes to dating is the black & white thinking that ensues after a "rejection". I blame it mostly on myself and believe I need to change my personality to become attractive enough. I know it's not true on one level since I have had successful realtiopnships in the past, but my emotional brain seems to have forgotten that.

[@iPartynauseous]

Thank you so much for these videos! They are truly changing my life :) I have a question that I hope you or one of your subscribers can answer. Is it a good idea to share my struggles w BPD w my favourite person? On the one hand I think it could help them understand my way of thinking but on the other hand I'm afraid it'll make them feel like they're somehow part of the problem.

[@danielgordon4148]

"I value you and you are not part of the problem"

[@jodiekjedwards]

I’ve been diagnosed with BPD 2 years ago an struggling to access therapy so these are really helpful made me cry as I’m struggling with this a lot, tell too much too soon an it’s too much for most people 6 years of dating an I’m not holding out much hope 😔 I get told I’m too picky or need to lower my standards! 😂 thank you for these videos

[@christinap1644]

Really needed this! I'm feeling hopeful

[@mireilleclement6385]

I'm 44 yrs old and found out I had BPD only last year (untreated). I knew there was something really wrong with me but didn't know what. I have every single symptoms. I think my symptoms have gotten worse over time. I don't have any motivation for anything. I don't want to work, ( I'm always changing jobs). I still live at my parent's house. (I did move about 20 times in my life). I basically don't ever want to grow up mentality. I don't want to find a new bf anymore because it's worthless because were not going to stay together anyway in the long run. I don't want to be on my own and at the same time I don't want to be alone. Weird. Since I was about 20 yrs old I always knew I would die young. I always had that stuck in my head.

[@britneyspheres7yearsago11]

I’m feeling very similarly though I am almost 20 years your junior and a guy. I hope you won’t judge because I am younger, I know sometimes I hear from 16 year olds and I’m thinking “well you got it so much easier” but this doesn’t have to mean they aren’t suffering like me. I always think I would die young too. I think it’s simply because A) we concentrate a lot on our problems so we don’t plan ahead B) at least I personally always tell myself “when I fix myself I will do x y z...” and it feels pointless to think about what I would do with my life until the fix anyways. Because I believe “the fix” would change me so much anyways. Feeling very childish. Living alone but I feel helpless with a lot of adult stuff (driving, buying a house etc.) so I don’t bother. Dating always results in wasted energy and being disappointed in not only others but myself as well. I think if we could find a cure for our problem, may it be BPD or something else, we would have an extremely strong base for a good life though. Extreme will power from suffering, knowledge of self development and psychology, actually becoming more independent than a regular person etc.

[@kinga6783]

Thank you so much for the video . This is exactly what I have been trying to tell my therapist that I need ( concrete pointers on how to deal with this ) but unfortunately he did not understand my needs . This video met them . Thank you :)

[@ladyleospiritual]

Thank you so much for what you do Dr. Fox. I'm learning that BPD explains exactly how I feel and I've never been able to understand "whats wrong with me". Your videos give me so much hope and ease not only my mind but my heart. Hubz OF 10 years who has DPD and I are separated but are trying to learn how not to be toxic for each other. PLEASE CREATE MORE VIDEOS ON BPD AND DEPENDENT COUPLES! 🙏❤ ✌

[@meghan111510]

Have you done a video on building friendships? If not please do! When you said the inner voice takes over then you shut down and start doing one word answers, that resonated with me. Forming friendships can be very difficult as well. It would personally be very helpful. 🙂

[@jillissahandorf4176]

I love all your videos!!! You are a life saver!!! I wish you were my bpd therapist!! I would love to see you make a video on bpd & co dependency, I struggle with that so much! Thanks Dr. Fox!!

[@haleylaneart]

It is unbelievable to feel so understood, thank you.

[@ritagalvao7908]

This hit me so hard I never thought in that way and now that I know I don’t know how I feel

[@katsuyobrown]

This is going to help me immensely.

[@DrDanielFox]

Thank you very much for your comment and I hope you do find the video to be valuable for you. Take care.

[@faithdalton7618]

This seriously helped me so much. I love watching your insights. Thank you so much it makes living with bpd a bit easier when I can understand it

[@DaughterApollo]

I forgot I had BPD because I haven't let myself get emotionally involved in a relationship/friendship in over 10 years. I started seeing someone new recently and genuinely thought I was losing my mind because I would go from hating them to being obsessed with them in the span of a couple of hours with no input from their end. NOW I remember, lol. It's terrible, I feel like I can never let myself get emotionally invested in anything.

[@heidimagis7782]

This is the most helpful video I’ve found on BPD. I’ve struggled with it my whole life and I just want to thank you for posting this.

[@iMaze_]

13:30 😂 I already have a therapist + psychoanalysis But no one of them help me with my BPD and before two days I was scared Cuz I felt : (what I’m gonna do ?! what should I do?! how to act !! what am I supposed to do?!) I was scared and lost... but your channel help me A lot I watch your video before I sleep so that I can come my brain down... thank you so much for this channel.... it’s really help... I’m from Saudi Arabia+ I know another friend like your Channel... So thank you so much

[@TiffMcFierce1]

Side bar Dr Fox is hilarious. Lol. Education and humor. Thank you.