Dave Gorman's Modern Life is Goodish - Series 5, Episode 3 | Full Episode

[@Zikar]

"I know this is a trap Dave, I just don't know how." Perfectly sums up this series, really.

[@adamhartist]

I live in North London and one day about 3 years ago one of my housemates mysteriously came home with a cardboard cut out of Ross Kemp! We used to dress him up for Xmas and other holidays!... Now I guess I know where it came from! Sorry Dave!

[@HORRIOR1]

There was this "I live here sign" on my way over to school at first and second grade. I started taking walks when the quarantine started. It had been 20 years since I last walked past that area, and saw the sign again, yellow and weathered. I feel like he no longer lives there.

[@rewrose2838]

😂 for sure

[@grahamlive]

Maybe not but his ghost haunts the surrounding alleyways.

[@ridanann]

In a little way you will always live there

[@beautifullychaotic78]

Thanks for sticking the ads where it aligns with your commercial breaks! Nothing worse than watching a great video and having a good part interrupted by an ad. Just discovered this show and am already a huge fan! Wish we had this readily available in Canada. Falling in love with British humour more and more every day.

[@randyschwaggins]

You guys have produced some of the greatest comedians to have lived...Dan Ackroyd, John Candy, Norman Macdonald, Leslie Neilsen, Mike Myers, Jim Carrey, Russell Peters, Seth Rogen...just so many!

[@marquisofcarrabass]

I don't think that's to do with Dave (the man or the channel). I'm watching through all of these a year or so after you posted your comment, and the ads are in fairly random places. This episode, as I'm watching in 2022, had an ad right at the beginning and another 10 minutes or so later... and then none until the end, which was weird.

[@ApolloVIIIYouAreGoForTLI]

Just get an adblocker & you'll have no ads

[@bastiknolle5155]

It's so ccol. Never heard of this show, since it was uploaded on YT for the first time! Love it! Watched every Episode since. I don't remember, having a show like this in Germany

[@KatieM786]

Have you seen his show Genius? He does lots of story telling/standup/random journies as well.

[@lornova79]

Same here in Italy!

[@bastiknolle5155]

@@KatieM786 I did, thank you. He is hilarious. It's so satisfying, to discover all the english speaking comedians from around the world.

[@KatieM786]

@@bastiknolle5155 He's so funny, I love America Unchained and Googlewhack Adventures! Dylan Moran is another one of my favourites, he is Irish.

[@bastiknolle5155]

@@KatieM786 gonna check out. thx

[@loading9110]

You can almost see that guys brain tick over as Dave pulled his trouser up to revel he had no sock on. It's like his whole grasp of reality collapsed in an instant.

What I don't get is why, didn't Dave just not wear socks from the start of the recording?

[@AlfaJones]

@ No break in filming after 15:17 I would imagine.

[@DoubleDHarvey]

@@AlfaJones in the cut he might've gone backstage to pick up a prop or something and took them off then

[@ThatCoalSoul]

You don't see the leg when he shows the sock, paper sock or something to do with the world of magic? That is possible.

[@electricwheelchair]

I think it's not a sock but just a tube without the bottom part. At 20:33 he reaches for his back pocket with his right hand and probably pulls it higher up his leg with a string or something like that.

[@macex7274]

Wish this show was aired here. There would finally be something worth watching on.

[@lucykinnear5888]

At least you can watch it on KZbin

[@nikdog6535]

Always wanted to go to the land of 'here'

[@chimarleywai]

Nik Dog I’ve been there. It is better than here but not as good as where.

[@dougwagner4902]

Everyone in the US that I've introduced to this show loves it and looks forward to these posts. Comedy Central should really try to offer him a deal for a new series! I've only seen one episode of his newer panel show but that's great too.

[@unicyclist97]

Yay for Dave!

[@ilanarhian]

I live in Germany and my favourite beware of the dog sign here says „Vorsicht! Blöder Hund!“ (Careful! Stupid dog!)

[@starrya5647]

That's brilliant. I'm guessing it's a pun on the usual."Vorsicht, bissiger Hund" (Caution, bitey dog)?

[@OsterSocke]

@@starrya5647 I got a sign that says "Vorsicht vor dem bisschen Hund!" which is a pun on "bissiger Hund" and means "Beware of just a bit of dog" and I love it. ^^

[@starrya5647]

Excellent!

[@MuchWhittering]

@@starrya5647 It's also I suspect because to someone who doesn't speak German it sounds like "Blood Hound".

[@hawwy1987]

Sorry Dave, going to have to pull you up here regarding the fried egg spotted at 18:03. The Haribo starmix sweet packet looks opened with some of its sweets falling out. The fried egg is from the Haribo starmix bag which do in fact contain fried eggs.

[@PiniMut]

Glad I'm not the only one that noticed this.

[@anthonycraig1458]

I can see that comment going into a found poem one day!

[@ElectriKong-]

Paul does not know which shaker is salt and which one is pepper, so it is not surprising that he accidentally sprayed ant killer on his armpits.

[@MrWongle]

The reason that some people have 'I live here' for the dog signs is that a story went round saying that if you had a sign saying beware of the dog and it attacked someone then you were admitting liability.

[@iamdb1990]

"all hail Noel Edmonds" seriously, I miss this show

[@duncansouthern2255]

Love this show so much!

[@steammachine3061]

Iv accidentally sprayed air freshener on my armpits before. I had a lovely sweet pea scent for the rest of the day.

[@rowanaboat4523]

I was just about to pour boiling water in my armpits until I saw the thumbnail.

[@jamesparrant7030]

OMG me too I thought was a brilliant idea but now I know better

[@buggy879]

So was I

[@zagstrug9053]

I like to imagine that everytime somebody finds out that Dave has a cardboard cutout of a policewomen or bots following him on twitter and stuff like that, he's writing a monologue about it after the fact to cover his tracks. "No honey, this is for another show. I swear!"

[@bramverbist8325]

The Danny Devito + Ainsley Harriott combination is probably because of the youtuber PewDiePie, who had this combination in his studio for a while

[@2nd3rd1st]

Thats a script for a show

[@spoiledspool7398]

yes you're right

[@PhuongTran-bq2qy]

"The classic warning colors are yellow & black" Stares at the bruised bananas in the fruit bowl...

[@nyejackson]

Another brilliant episode! Thanks! Will you be uploading Series 1?

[@MrBusrunner]

If I remember right he doesnt actually own the rights to the first series, its on uktv play though

[@trelard]

The whole "Beware of the Rottweiler" thing is hilarious. Every single one I've come across is big enough to look like they could rip my arsehole out and use it as a straw. Problem is, every single one was some of the biggest babies I've ever come across. Good for home security? Yeah, my mates would be more worried the dogs would lead burglars to the valuables if they got treats from them. They also slobber a lot. But there is something cute about a big softy that could otherwise tear your face off.

[@MicovskiMC]

My rottweiler is not like that at all. He is very people wary and growls at strangers.

[@andrewfaraday8918]

Twenty Twenty has ruined me. Looking at the office diagram all I can think is "They'll only be able to fit about 6 people in that room, now.

[@Apudurangdinya]

Ainsley & danny devito, pewdiepie has made many influences, never thought this one will catch on

[@tomtom21194]

Noel or denoel joke was underrated :P

[@hardrockinhere]

20:43 Local man befuddled by a guy wearing only one sock

[@panda4247]

That was my first instinct as well. But i went back and it's the same foot. My theory is that it's not a sock, it has no bottom part and at some point he pulled it up his leg

[@ansfridaeyowulfsdottir8095]

This guy's superb, I used to listen to his radio shows. {:o:O:}

[@eldante4139]

What a great World we used to live in when you could ‘just go and see a doctor’. The other day I was on the phone for 1hour 45 minutes just to get through to speak to receptionist. Times are so different post Covid. Dr Google must have so many more consultations these days.

[@KeithWWatson]

I still have to move my phone away from me when ever I see those dam pics of the wasps

[@samswift1718]

Love the show as always, but I might be a bit thick but, how has he worked out the profit number on the last graph ?

[@lillajoba6710]

I believe it could be because they bought the bottles as packs, and they would have cost less individually than a pound. So, for example, if they bought a pack of 12 for £2 (which is possible) then that would mean selling them each for £1 would guarantee a profit of £10 every dozen bottles. Even if he has quite a few people take without paying, the more money he makes, the more likely that he'd make a profit. So that would be 44/12×2=£7.33, so they only needed to make that much to break even Meaning they would have made about £24 profit with Noel. I don't know if they actually bought the bottles for £2 a dozen but the principal is the same And no one wants to steal a cardboard Noel Edmonds

[@samswift1718]

Lilla Joba oh I get it now so even though Noel was the least honest just the volume of sales meant he brought in the most profit I understand 😊

[@gemmascotland899]

Red yellow and black were the colours for the school i went to as a child 😂😂😂

[@ianclayson956]

As usual calling out the shit that matters , what a hero ?

[@kamranhussain2210]

20:13 at the jubilee, my neighbours put up a cardboard cut out of the queen on the streets. I’m sure they’ll let you have her 😭😭😭

[@AniketPatil-nk1vw]

Can anyone explain the Noelage joke at around 21:53? Dave says "he has done the Noelage". I am not British, so maybe that's why I don't get the joke.

[@Dvdsmith2002]

It's a reference to "The Knowledge", the notoriously difficult exam that London cab drivers have to pass to prove they know their way around London without a map or GPS device.

[@AniketPatil-nk1vw]

@@Dvdsmith2002 Thank you for explaining. That is funny, now that I know.

[@CocoHikari583]

I heard Dublin Airport is twice as effective as Stanstead Airport.

[@Sam-lr9oi]

just judging from the bathroom, Dave's mate Paul may also be Philomena Cunk's mate Paul

[@CamMcGinn1981]

Who else was watching the stall bit at the end, and after Kemp's figures were revealed expected to hear the line: "Someone left a note. 'I know this is a trap Dave, I just don't know how.' " ROFL

[@gorkemgulan]

18:45 i remember the lorg sugar episode with puzzles.

[@trip2themoon]

LOL at the look on that guy's face at 20:45, looks like he's believing the stolen socks story.

What I don't get is why, didn't Dave just not wear socks from the start of the recording?

[@nathanwarner4584]

Getting 2 similar shape, size and coloured sprays mixed up seems like a reasonably easy and simple mistake to make. Been a fair few times where I've had other stuff on my mind or even just not woken up properly yet and so I have made mistakes with items and getting them mixed up. My most common ones have been making tea in the morning and putting the sugar in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard, even worse is getting the milk out of the fridge to put in my cup of tea and only realising once I've started to pour it out that I had got the carton of orange juice out instead of the milk.

[@goldenpony822]

That gormhub banner has to be the best banner ever

[@Furycrab]

You got to get a feeling that at some point the rats in the sugar experiment were aware of what might be going on. :)

[@ProvenUser101]

38:26 the bro army is just the best isn’t it?

[@garethlewis3023]

92% isn’t 1.5% more than 90.5%, it’s 1.5 percentage points more.

[@geznicks]

Maybe it's because Noel is known for his charity work and giving presents to kids, people subconsciously associate man with freebies

[@nathanwarner4584]

Can easily end up with 28 pounds and 7 pence without meaning someone just stuck in 7p for a bottle or something. Every single person could of legit paid nearly the full amount, just they didn't have the change on them and was a little short. Say I sold 7 bottles and ended up with 6 pounds and 7 pence, that could be because one person paid the full pound and the other 6 didn't have enough change and was a little bit short. The other 6 could be, 83p, 98p, 80p, 77p, 96p and 73p which altogether would add up to 6 pounds and 7p meaning everyone was as honest as they could afford at the time and no one tried getting a bottle for free or for a stupid low price of some amount of pennies. So actually it's possible that the same thing happened with the audience in the show.

[@davimurph]

I'm late to the party here, but why is Paul keeping the ant killer in his bathroom rather than, say, under his kitchen sink? And if there is a reason for him to keep it in the bathroom, why is it on a shelf with the deodorant rather than, say, behind the toilet?

[@ThisZombieBitesEverything]

The yellow and black spider shown here is actually harmless to humans… so go ahead. Rub away 😂

[@fuzzyalba5419]

Reading these comments without the context of the episode is a surreal experience

[@an885405]

Noel Edmonds has a problem with his shatner's bassoon

[@ChrissieBear]

The cardboard policemen actually work. It makes people self-conscious and reduces the likelihood of shoplifting.

[@rebmcr]

Who put this video in orange mode?

[@2nd3rd1st]

Take yous 70s glasses off

[@NASH78]

It is very orange. 🍊

[@philippnotaname7184]

Anyone notice the woman playing with her gum at 43:23?

[@SoranDK]

I don't get the math about the markup on water and Noel being best...?

[@ranulfdoswell]

Noel sold the most bottles, and as they made a profit on each bottle sold. So, the £31.50 received minus the cost of his 44 bottles gone. His mum, on the other hand, only received £18 for 19 bottles. If the cost of each bottle of water is 54p, they'd both make the same profit, £7.74. If the cost of the water is less than 54p, Noel makes more profit just because he sold more.

[@ranulfdoswell]

And actually, Brian Cox made more profit than his mum. For Noel to beat Brian Cox on profitability, the bottles must cost less than 48p each.

[@TheCurrykiev]

Who would you get to guard your sugar?....... I immediately thought of the Honey Monster from Sugar Puffs! Not sure why. I wouldn’t take his food.

[@corybaldwin1168]

FYI people use the "I live here" signs because putting up a "Beware of Dog" sign acknowledges that you understand that your dog is potentially dangerous, possibly making you liable if someone gets hurt.

[@djjc9782]

8:56 shouts out to the "tea tree and mint" body scrub, from Original Source.... if you know, you know!!!!

[@slobodanreka1088]

39:34 Censors faces of people who publish their pictures on Twitter....

[@olivier2553]

Or just to make Mickey Mousse ears to his mom?

[@Nintendo3DSdude1]

38:26 That’s definitely PewDiePie’s doing! 😆

[@CainXVII]

I think "be aware of the dog" means "close the gate after entering"

[@alunchurcher7060]

with those two cut-outs you should open a university in America, with the promise of meeting both or even one of them. call it the sugar Edmonds university but students only ever see the cut-outs. it could work on the principle of the trump con job university. tutors can be as low quality as you want like an low educated burger bar server or even cleaner. who knows it might make a few notes before you get taken to court but by then you could make a small fortune.

[@NASH78]

I accidentally sprayed dragons on my armpits once, after eating suspicious looking mushrooms! 🍄

[@marycanary86]

7 p in the honesty tin says "i only had that or a whole fiver, and im not paying that kinda rate or dragging about that many bottles"

[@michaelbrules]

Hairdryer speedgun lady, If she is pretending her hairdryer is a speed gun, How is she seeing the brake lights come on?

[@ianmatthews9503]

On a brighter note you wouldn't have any ants in your armpits

[@rewrose2838]

Paul Chowdhary? 😂

[@antonyhunter2246]

If you know why it's Danny De Vito and Ainsley Harriet, then you know.

[@davidmaes3253]

Danger indicating colors, hmm, looking at our Belgian flag quite differently now.

[@rageagainstmyhairline5574]

lol Pewds having an actual effect on Amazon's algorithm

[@klausgartenstiel4586]

there's uranium in uranus.

[@annierose1269]

I absolutely love this show but I just don't find the found poem segment funny. I'm not sure why?

[@nicosmind3]

Im with you there, i doubled the play speed when this one came on just to get past it quickly

[@JackPicko91]

37:17 I'M FAMOUS

[@JackPicko91]

@samwestonuk on the right, my brother is the one of the left.

[@censusgary]

The cardboard cop may deter some speeders, but he’s terrible at running down the violators and issuing them tickets.

[@GordonHugenay]

I'm surprised that British people take sweets from other people. It sounds like something that the British are too polite to do, even if the other person doesn't mind.

[@geznicks]

Don't believe the stereotypes. Everything in Britain gets nicked

[@hans-reinerjauch5719]

Fake Cop man and the eyes are also in an older QI episode.

[@paulyoward3795]

Always pronounced it Apose-matism

[@janeeyre1990]

Realism should take into account that medical professionals can have personal biases that affect their treatment of embarrassing health issues. I speak as a person with vulvovaginal pain conditions who has had male doctors talk me out of pelvic exams, say they were nervous before performing a pelvic exam, etc.

[@misterbonzoid5623]

They should refer you to someone who doesn't have that hangup; a gynaecologist for instance. Even if they feared some sort of professional jeopardy they have a duty to do their best for you. Funny show though.

[@ellelka]

Tbh I don't think those people should be in that sort of job if they can't do (some of) what is needed of them. I work in care & it's a similar situation, if you'd be too embarrassed or nervous, you leave, rather than risk leaving service users uncomfortable or without care.

[@jamesparrant7030]

To.be honest if I owned a cab I would consider my options if I'm not in a hurry fuck it I'd pick people up extra money is extra money if I'm too busy then fuck it I would drive past them what are they gonna do complain to the local cabbies

[@burgersbeansandchips]

Anyone else get the feeling he's going to make a series on KZbin comments for this show?

[@alunchurcher7060]

noel is an odd character from the 70's who hasn't been imprisoned for paedophilia. as for WTaF it means what the actual fuck which just does not make sense due to the added actual.

[@rowandavis2061]

38:25 I guess Dave doesn't watch Pewdiepie

[@Ooffoop]

The fools not sealing the bucket it’s self that is quite literally where the money is

[@Bombom1300]

He did mention it was chained down. Further, I think most folks weren't thinking of themselves as thieves. They just were nabbing a bit o' water. That is theft, of course, but it's easier to trick yourself into thinking it's fine to take water. Taking money tends to have a bit more of a stigma.

[@elliez.3561]

Maths.

[@rachelandryan]

People bought Danny Devito and Ansley Harriot standees because Pewdiepie used both of them in his studio.

[@serisak]

Now try an honesty system with a product that's actually worth something. The willingness to pay money for water isn't honesty, it's stupidity.

[@boonanamun3024]

HE DIDNT SAY BOTTOM HALF.

[@glenn1534]

He didn't say "I think that proves that modern life is good...ish" at the end either :(

[@iamdb1990]

@alphadawn2015 lennon how would you know when to skip until he starts saying bottom half?

[@TheHutchy01]

I bought a friend a cardboard Donald Trump for a laugh, and y'know he uses it to prank his housemates so it's just as good as the real thing at harassing women.

[@cheatsenabled1662]

There's this interesting concept called "innocent until proven guilty" that I feel the court of public opinion would do well to adopt.

[@lulairenoroub3869]

Accidentally vegan refers to products that happen to be vegan but aren't marketed as such.

[@2gooddrifters]

I did realise this as I am vegan but alarmingly I also have a sense of humour.

[@lulairenoroub3869]

@@2gooddrifters Dave Gormon is the best. It was a joke, and a funny one. But it was an itch. Needed to scratch it.

[@blumoogle2901]

Accidentally Vegan touches on the same concept as asbestos free tomatoes and non-combustible soft toys in always seeming slightly suspicious because it breaks the assumption of minimal neccessary information in speech despite being on the face of it a benign label. Anyone in marketing will tell you that labeling something as not having a property that it should never have anyway is bad. That's why accidentally Vegan is should be the most trusted type of vegan. Anyone want some guaranteed horse and rat meat free hamburgers? Cruelty free makeup? Vegan apples? Unpoisoned cookies? Spit-free coffee from your favourite coffee shop? That irrational association is why you shouldn't label stuff vegan that should have no animal association anyway.

[@HarshDeshpande91]

@@blumoogle2901 I don't think you quite understood what accidentally vegan is referring to. It's not referring to vegan apples. It's referring to things like Oreos which unintentionally happen to be vegan.

[@davimurph]

@@HarshDeshpande91 I'm late here, and I'm probably going to regret reopening this, but I'm not sure how Oreos are accidentally vegan. They just happen to be made without any animal product. I'm not sure how that affects your enjoyment of the Oreos if you aren't vegan. I can't see what the problem is.

[@thumbsdownbandit]

First thumbs down.

[@Ooffoop]

You seem like the exact kind of subject for an episode

[@cheatsenabled1662]

KZbin has logged your engagement of this video and you have increased the likelihood of the algorithm recommending it.

[@thumbsdownbandit]

@@cheatsenabled1662 Yeah, pretty convenient.

[@terranovarubacha5473]

I'd bet that Noel sold the most water because he was out during the hottest period of the day and for no other reason