NONCE PATROL - Another Zoo Podcast + Bonus (Live Clip)

[@FruityPotatoes]

“It’s not easy to be a romantic partner for a dog ” *lists literally every regular responsibility you need to do as a standard dog owner*

[@sackfu7952]

Also, yes it is, because you people can "decide" when your partner "consents" basically, and i refuse to believe this is about anything besides free sex for these people.

[@mysteryman4915]

Exactly. Jesus christ these people, especially salad fingers, has their head so far up their ass that they can probably see their own teeth. I was up till 6 am with my dog who was having gas pain and screaming all night. Its not because he’s my partner, its because he’s my responsibility.

[@sailorbunny4910]

it's the equivalent of "it's not as easy to be a romantic partner for a human. you have to talk to them, hang out with them, give them affection and attention. it's a lot of work!"

[@celebalert5616]

Bro you gotta say no homo when you feed your dog cause clearly that's a very romantic gesture smh

[@animuauntie]

@Clay Remy but can it hack Telegram?

[@mythosinfinite6736]

"I have a companion in my life, a wonderful German Shepherd..." It hit me like a sack of bricks, I had to take a break to calm down

[@alyshay82597]

Same, I think I’ll watch this after work tomorrow instead of right now. I used make a joke that I didn’t need a boyfriend cause I had my dog. When I heard that I thought nothing of it for a solid second until it dawned on me what this thing is and what he does to his “companion”. For him it’s not a joke, and I can’t even finish my thought on that without feeling indescribable anger.

[@LeoRex13]

God Idk if I’m losing tolerance or it’s going deeper than my threshold can bear

[@AwesomeYena]

That is horrible, because I have a German shepherd, Sheela's cousins don't deserve this

[@mythosinfinite6736]

I think what really stands out to me is that they describe the basic acts of feeding your pet and bringing it in during a lightning storm as if they're some arduous tasks that only animal rapists understand. I feel like that expresses, if anything, a level of detachment from their victims, rather than bonding. Those things should come naturally to a mentally stable human being.

[@joshualeahy2162]

Same I couldn't with that, it's got me livid. I had one and my neighbour's partner from his time working with the Met has one also. Makes me fucking gag.. I can't stand these degenerate asshats with their disgusting behaviour and principles.

[@jackhazardous4008]

Ever notice how these people treat basic pet care like they're moving mountains for "love"? Edit: I wouldn't be surprised if he was neglectful on top of abusive.

[@MK_ULTRA420]

Like a narcissistic parent raising their kids.

[@fathercatishungry]

the high horse they're riding on has to be as tall as olympus mons

[@saladvolcano3103]

@@fathercatishungry Plus they're fucking it

[@TK0921]

The fact that these people act like the bare fucking minimum expected of a pet owner is some grand romantic gesture shows you how truly broken their minds are.

[@bathhousealmonds8090]

Kinda like how people who abuse other humans try to justify their actions to their partners or peers?? Whether the victim's an animal or not that sort of justification is so sickeningly devoid of any self-awareness. Either that or it's been intentionally buried to spare themselves.

[@LeviCerise]

So like, why does this 'podcast' sound like it's just 1 guy doing three voices?

[@aethertoast4320]

Unfortunately there are times when they talk over each other too well to believe that someone like this would be competent enough to fake that.

[@deathpyre42]

Because your brain is instinctively trying to minimize the number of perverts in the world?

[@tobikms1709]

@Twist Reject let's not make fun of autistic and neurodivergent people.

[@michellestoaevertsson3830]

Because one of the voices sounds forcibly dark and another very deliberately feminine and academic, like they're a couple of characters.

[@Kirraii]

@@michellestoaevertsson3830 mans said dark

[@sourpuss1455]

Ya know, if you were to yell "I LOVE YOU" in an angry voice instead of a sweet one, the dog wouldn't understand. It would think youre angry cause of your tone of voice. It doesnt understand, zoophiles will try to tell you "it understands me, i know it does", but really its just reacting like any other dog would to a happy or calm or sweet tone of voice. Zoophiles project too much humanity onto animals, and delude themselves into believing the pet understands. They need serious therapy.

[@sourpuss1455]

@MrOverCritical1989 for some reason my last comment didnt post, but - you wouldnt believe how often it feels like somebody popular gets outed as a zoophile. And you can tell right away who is on what side by how they react - its either "fuck off" or "uwu dont listen to the haters, i still love you!!!" Makes me mad that this fandom is such a piece of shit. This is why I keep to a small group of furry friends whom I know dont think wanting to suck your pet off is fine and dandy, cause they know that their humanoid purple furry triple D titty cat girl is just fantasy, and that their pet cat cant and will never be able to consent.

[@SchizophrenicFrankie]

@MrOverCritical1989 I'm a furry and zoophiles, pedophiles and fascists being in the fandom is so normalised it's gross. I get the attraction to a cartoon animal, like Lola Bunny, but it is absolutely deranged to project that onto a real animal.

[@I_Dont_Believe_In_Salad]

@MrOverCritical1989 I don't think you understand what does "Anthromorphic Animals" means. They're based on real species of animal Yes. But they have the same life styles as humans. They wears clothing they walk on two legs, they even talk like a humans. Zoos are people into *Real Animals* Animals that walk on four legs, not two legs that have human anatomy.

[@aithjawcraig9876]

They sound like pedophiles. It's like the nurturing part of themselves that most people would have in reaction to a child or a dog is twisted and inverted in a really fucked up way. I think it's probably childhood trauma.

[@Hero-oz9gx]

@@SchizophrenicFrankie get a load of this political furry here equating fascists to zoophiles and pedophiles

[@ilasja5639]

The way these people act like they're going above and beyond by providing their ""partners"" with food and water and shelter is so bizarre like bruh that's the bare minimum of pet ownership. The detachment from reality is absolutely astounding.

[@michellestoaevertsson3830]

That really shook me. If they feel like basic care is such a big deal I get the sense that they're inclined to cut corners and forget their duties.

[@Sousabird]

If they were in touch with reality, they wouldn't be fucking dogs.

[@introspectivetonysoprano]

You have a bi flag as your pfp and you're talking down to these freaks? You're just as attention seeking and confused as they are. You're not bi. It's not real. Once you grow up and leave Tumblr you'll figure that out.

[@RedKnight777]

@@introspectivetonysoprano you're seriously not comparing someone being bi to someone being a dog pegger right? And being bi isn't real? Yikes. I think someone's a bit delusional there...

[@RedKnight777]

@@goldster100 Isn't that all profiles though? Like don't we all put up profile pictures for people to notice and potentially identify with so we can relate to others in some way? Honestly, if that's what the dude wants to do with his profile then why should it matter what his intentions are at the end of the day. You could say the same thing about someone having an ahegao type profile pic for example but I don't see anyone complaining about those necessarily even though they obviously want you to notice it. My biggest concern about A & O's comment though was comparing it to beastility. That's one of the biggest fallacies I have seen in my life so I'm not sure I want to validate anything else he would have to say with the nonsense he was spewing...

[@cadaverdoggs421]

I have an auditory processing disorder and listening to this little shifty salad fingers sounding man is driving me insane

[@Ett.Gammalt.Bergtroll]

I am free of any auditory disorders and me too.

[@Lucy_Ford]

Saaaaaaaaame. It makes my head hurt and my skin crawl, and thats without even considering the subject matter.

[@DeevDaRabbit]

Auditory processing disorder? I'm interested. Tell me more.

[@cadaverdoggs421]

@@DeevDaRabbit Google is free 😁👍🏻

[@NaviciaAbbot]

I'm audio-sensitive as well, and... it is grating. Not as bad as a Civil Defense Siren.

[@LightWhisker]

“You wouldn’t say all these mean things if you knew how much work went into it... like a human relationship” - wow I hate to be the one to tell these people this but 1) most pet owners will look after their pets... the fact that you “work hard to feed your pet and provide water”, and “you bring it in out of the rain” does not make you any different than the millions of other people who have pets and don’t feel the need to abuse them, and 2) even in a human relationship, just because it’s “hard work”to care for someone does not make you entitled to sex. These people are deluding themselves!

[@webbyishere]

It can't be a relationship if its one sided. These pets have no idea that theyre being forced into a relationship. They think that theyre just gonna have a friend that will give them food and pats but not sex!!

[@BetamaxFlippy]

Zooincels

[@autobotrock4789]

What I got out of that is he's implying that maintaining the relationship is all the same regardless of the species which is such a bizarre belief. How?? Do you have a hard time coming to an agreement on politics or argue about leaving hair on the couch? Is the dog mad at you because you haven't taken them to the park in months and they don't feel appreciated? What are you doing to maintain this relationship that's just like human relationships? I'd like to know what this "work" entails!

[@darkestnights7714]

I agree 1000% these sick people need help and for them to think they're in the right here is really disgusting.

[@sallyyfacee]

@@webbyishere THE FACT ANIMALS HAVE AS MUCH OF A UNDERSTANDING AS A TODDLER JUST SHOWS THEY CAN'T CONSENT AT ALL ESPECIALLY SINCE THEY WILL BE CONFUSED AND UPSET IF YOU COME OFF AGGRESSIVE OR ANGRY WHILE SAYING "I LOVE YOU" CAUSE THEY THINK YOU'RE MAD AT THEM, LIKE THEY'LL JUST REACT ACCORDINGLY TO HOW YOU ACT. THE ONLY "RELATIONSHIP" YOU HAVE TO AN ANIMAL IS PURELY A FAMILY-LIKE RELATIONSHIP. I AM STILL IN BEYOND DISBELIEF THAT THESE TYPE OF DISGUSTING HUMAN PEOPLE EXIST MAKES ME WANT TO COMMIT ARSON.

[@Sebastian_Michaelis]

They say 'going out in the storm to get them' like that's not what EVERY pet owner does already. I've never had a doghouse for my dogs, we just let them run in the yard for fun and to potty. If it starts raining or snowing badly of course you go out and get them. Is that like?? Not normal??

[@LOVESlCK]

It’s normal if you have a big backyard with many hiding spots. I’m allergic to dogs yet always wore a mask to be around my dog. She’d be in the backyard, had her own house and even had a open door that led to a bathroom and she loved that damn place. If it would rain she’d never hide because she loved rain and it was damn hilarious.

[@Sebastian_Michaelis]

@@LOVESlCK I suppose that's something. I don't think it applies to these animal fuckers, but that makes sense. I had dog allergies growing up, I just sucked it up or left the area if it got too much. My current dog is a big shedder so I'll still tear up and itch occasionally xD

[@Sebastian_Michaelis]

@@poopnach Lmao yep!

[@Beowulf-sn8ir]

it must be so hard for them to get food AND water for their """"""""""partner"""""""""" oh wait that's just called having a pet

[@Sebastian_Michaelis]

@@Beowulf-sn8ir The only 'romantic' thing about their relationship is when they violate an animal. They can't deny that it IS just an illegal sex kink, because without the sexual aspect, it's just pet ownership.

[@czinvazion816]

"My dog knows 43 words" I guarantee none of those are no or stop

[@seblorkhan2618]

More like they cant say them.

[@suttagi]

there's a person who actually managed to get their dog to ""talk"". they use buttons that say a word when pressed, the lady taught her dog to press the button depending on what the dog wants to tell her. an example would be if the dog wanted to play the dog would press the buttons "outside" and "play" to communicate to her owner she wanted to go outside and play. it's on youtube, pretty interesting

[@thrice1888]

Damnit! I just made a similar joke right before seeing your comment. We have good taste

[@toolatetothestory]

Ouch xD

[@ImortalZeus13]

@@suttagi Its also likely that the dog isnt as smart as we think and there's a lot more nonsense speak that doesnt get uploaded to youtube, and the owner only picks the moments where what theyre saying makes sense.

[@DarkAngel-jo8ix]

This guy’s bond with his dog? Unbreakable His legs? Not as unbreakable

[@jacksonguillory8114]

I'll be the guy doing the breaking :)

[@radicool8328]

"Child" is not a gender, and neither is "Dog".

[@JaggedBird]

Nor are corpses. No expectations with these three.

[@krebgurfson5732]

too late, you guys opened this can of worms

[@fireesol]

@@krebgurfson5732 idk its been 7 months since they posted the comment and only 2 comments are here i think they're safe lol

[@krebgurfson5732]

@@fireesol i think you missed what i was saying

[@JohnDoe-vw4zf]

@@krebgurfson5732 Don't blame this on gay people.

[@flebflimpson9082]

If it's the animal's choice, why is it always pets and otherwise captive animals? Why aren't random wild animals coming up to humans to have "relationships" with them? It's almost like animals have no interest in "relationships" with humans and have to be groomed and/or forced into it...

[@ParkerPlays2005]

Exactly. Zoophilia is abuse

[@Havokwreaker]

@@PatriotBrunchcast Are you victim blaming? What a squirrel apologist.

[@KriegCommisar]

@@PatriotBrunchcast Guys we found the squirrel

[@Sigmarr]

2 years late but unfortunately wild zoo fucking happens, at least with dolphins, to such an extent it causes an ecological effect: dolphin aggression that leads to more human attacks

[@jangoman8478]

It's so funny that these guys talk about buying and adopting their partners like it's normal for people to go to the wife market to buy themselves a wife.

[@cathieupchurch4166]

Isn't mail ordered brides a thing? I agree with you though.

[@Mehhhhhhhh]

@@cathieupchurch4166 its a thing but it's not normal. We associate men who buy mail in brides as gross slobs who see women as something to possess because they don't have the skills to actually court and date one naturally. Think of all those losers on 90 fiance for example.

[@ImortalZeus13]

It's funny how they'll talk in depth about how they are "equals" with their partner, and yet they also say that they "select" them. They go to the dog shelter or a breeder and pick them out. There is no give and take. You fucking purchase them. Yeah, your dog wags it's tail and licks you because that's HOW DOGS ARE, it's not consent to a sexual relationship. There are millions of people with equally loving relationships with their pets and they don't feel inclined to fuck them. That's because those people dont interpret basic affection from an animal as "flirting". These people are irreparably damaged.

[@jameskazd9951]

p prefer to get my wives fresh, so i go to the source and pick them off the tree

[@toolatetothestory]

I mean. Thats how they do in the Middle East.

[@wholelottasalem]

deadwing screaming "feet !!" to distract himself from the fact that this man outwardly confessed to having another dog in his possession is all of our brains watching this.

[@Wind-nj5xz]

Also 21:01

[@wholelottasalem]

@@Wind-nj5xz his brain just FULLY stopped functioning n so did all of ours at that very timestamp man

[@disturbedhamster6782]

hamster is scared of these people

[@MK_ULTRA420]

Imaging being bought by DollyFlesh.....ughhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[@forkempty]

Hamster shouldn't be scared, for I am looking over him, protecting him. Hamster will forever have safe haven.

[@papapingas1797]

This is a wholesome chit chat

[@tomo8324]

**The forbidden cock sleeve**

[@tinymayo9614]

@@tomo8324 *softly* Dont..

[@georgewilson7432]

I'm worried about Deadwing being exposed to this garbage, it must take a hefty toil being exposed to this filth for si long. Take care, Deadwing.

[@Labyethan]

All the negative feelings goes to the claw. The Claw destroys the negativity without a second thought.

[@mythosinfinite6736]

@Jean I'll never look at fire ants the same way ever again

[@joshuafischer684]

Spicy water keeps him safe

[@Alberich_Prince_of_Dwarves]

He's been jaded since the early days of 4chan. But the alcoholism might get him in the end.

[@Octoberisms]

He’s already porking his poodle

[@Abyss3223]

"What is success for a dog" 50k a month writing job at Kotaku.

[@MK_ULTRA420]

Only tribe members get 50k a month for writing at Kotaku. Most of them don't even make 50k a year and even then they're still overpaid.

[@Dani-Claw]

Exactly what I was thinking. Can dogs work at pet shops and dog kennels, or would that be slavery? 🤔 Those people need to work hard to get their dogs an education if they want a good job.

[@bbeem5989]

I got an “adopt don’t shop” ad. I’m literally dying

[@Morghuul]

Play some mario bros 3 to get back into that happy place.

[@bbeem5989]

@Anthony vaan Lecter i meant that last part as like a laughing thing

[@bbeem5989]

@Anthony vaan Lecter ah

[@abyssalboy8811]

@Anthony vaan Lecter it's a copypasta.

[@krolikthemself]

i mean people should in fact adopt to not let fucking sickos to reach them

[@Morghuul]

"Basicaly ... I'm uh ... Basically...People would say I'm basically, but I'm... Basically..."

[@hicknopunk]

Basically

[@aaronstepien2363]

If you mess with me Imma get my gaming guild to hack you... REeeeee

[@Morghuul]

@@aaronstepien2363 :reeeeing so hard its busting out speakers at 1% volume:

[@cheeseburgersuperior1874]

What is he up to now?

[@aaronstepien2363]

@@cheeseburgersuperior1874 jail I think

[@mallowhoney]

Some cultural norms exist for survival reasons or basic agreed upon morality. At least one society on this earth, I cannot recall which, practices funerary cannibalism. They consume their dead to dispose of the corpse and nourish the village. It's their custom and should be given some level of respect as such. However, one of the survival-based reasons why condemning cannibalism is the norm is because cannibalism increases the rate of prion diseases. The name of one such disease is kuru and happens when contaminated human brain tissue is consumed. We don't eat primates because of the rapid spread of zoonotic disease, see HIV. We don't fuck horses because that causes intestinal rupture. We don't fuck dogs because they have intelligence less than or on par with a human toddler, who all but the most debauched of society acknowledge is too young and unintelligent to consent to much of anything. Don't even let the words cultural norm come out of your mouth if you think it's okay to fuck a dog.

[@fredithegeroo906]

This is some very wise stuff here. We have our morals for a reason. I hate when monsters try to paint themselves to be the victims.

[@oz_jones]

Up you go

[@joshuafischer684]

It's a taboo for a reason. We all know it's wrong and even discussing it is wrong.

[@sorrowinsanity]

Just a quick addition; Kuru is caught from ANY nervous tissue. That includes the brain, but also the spinal cord, pain receptors, the various nerves responsible for allowing us to move, etc. You are correct overall, but the reason cannibalism was and is avoided by most cultures is because of the chance to get a prion disease from ANY human meat. The brain and spinal cord just make it a lot more common to catch from that area due to the density of neurons.

[@daveholland6293]

" They consume their dead to dispose of the corpse and nourish the village. It's their custom and should be given some level of respect as such." "given some level of respect" uh, how about no, savages don't deserve respect for being uncivilized psychopaths

[@koda_dawgg]

somebody please save that german shepherd.

[@Sebastian_Michaelis]

Everytime I question them they delete my comment and claim I was threatening then. They can't defend their interests in a way that makes them seem like the good guys. Isn't that saying something? They're like Kero's moderator.

[@mileidyclass]

It seems like DeadwingDork was onto something when he was talking about how these people claim that they're proud zoophiles, but in reality they would never come out to someone like their parents. (He talked about this in the Zooier Than Thou podcast and a little bit in this stream when he was talking about how someone mentioned that they're very coy about mentioning that they're zoophiles.)

[@Sebastian_Michaelis]

@@mileidyclass Yeah. Like this is literally hurting animals. They can't claim that they're perfect angels with their animals, because without the sex, this is NOT a 'romantic' relationship. It's a normal pet ownership. There's no need to be a zoophile without the sex. You just love animals, like most people do. Without the sex.

[@Sebastian_Michaelis]

@Phineas Facing Forward Always. Everytime they act like they're rejects and outcasts of society. No, idiot, it's your fault you're hurting animals.

[@CrystalRose1111]

@@Sebastian_Michaelis pretty much

[@420catboi]

This is, like, literal animal abuse. Animals can't consent. So, of course they can't actually defend it.

[@Kaileighblue]

What has to go wrong in your brain that you equate the basic activities of owning a dog to a human relationship and consent.

[@ConnL]

"I don't have a partner because I don't have enough money." Ah yes, the American dream, buying your spouse from a store. This is totally comparable.

[@YEETUSDAFEETUS]

_russian ordered wives have entered the chat_

[@caracalcontinuum3118]

I think he was talking about….. a dog ugh

[@scoutman66]

To be fair there's a lot of very superficial women out there that only date a man for how much money he has.

[@wholelottasalem]

"zoophilia is not a fetish or a kink !" **proceeds to call it zoophilia (as in paraphilia, which is implicitly a fetish/kink)**

[@Monsoon-r5n]

kinks all together are degenerates

[@jacksonguillory8114]

@@Monsoon-r5n based vanilla man *salutes*

[@secondBAR]

@@Monsoon-r5n just some degenerates are less degenerate than others

[@Rhyolite-hyena]

This reply session is full of degeneracy

[@annabellLee-p7c]

@@Monsoon-r5n COMMUNIST DETECTED ON AMERICAN SOIL.

[@Im.A1ex]

I would love to know what emboldened these people to think they could do this and face anything less than harassment and contempt

[@davidallamericananarchist9220]

✡ who do you think?✡

[@stuglife5514]

Good pfp dude

[@logy650]

The radical shifting left of the Overton window.

[@SilverlineXZero]

Twitter.

[@BuggingonBeeroids]

The same people who thought that bisexual wasn't fancy or unique enough and created pansexuality to fit in with the idea that there are more than 2 genders.

[@Metphies-]

Looks like Danny "Trash Man" DeVito is holding Sangie back from leaping off the screen and attacking us after syphoning the nonce energy from these people, what a hero!

[@giggel388]

I really don’t like sharing a name with one of these people...

[@MrSadisticLlama]

bruh what

[@kylo-benshapiro687]

That's rough buddy.

[@stuglife5514]

It’s not too late to kill the other one so that you don’t share the name. Or get your name legally changed

[@enortness9454]

Same here

[@stevenvictoria9568]

You can change your name to one that's very unique. Like Adolf.

[@ycylchgames]

This is why I hate the internet, instead of getting therapy and help with a disturbing problem, people get reinforcement for their weird behaviour and get more into it.

[@cherryblossom1460]

And they don't even keep it hidden most of the time, usually it is out there. Like people justifying doxxing someone and having obsessions where they draw nsfw gore fanart and make weird sexual fanfics of underage people and adults.

[@ycylchgames]

@@cherryblossom1460 Yeah very true, way too common and mainstream these days :-(

[@Khornecussion]

The internet is why people think Socialism, Marxism and Communism are all good ideas... despite history being VERY different in practice, so... yeah, judging by the fact they can't keep their autism to their echo chambers and it's currently bled over into affecting normal people in their lives is going too far.

[@Whocares158]

Therapy isn't going to do shit. 🤭

[@DistractedGlobeGuy]

What if I told you most of these """people""" were intimately involved in the psychiatric industry? There's a reason people talk about "therapy-speak" with these circles.

[@jenkotsu]

The dog learned 43 words.. sadly "no" and "please stop" weren't included :/

[@eupi9098]

Hello, anthropology student here. Don't act like raping your dog is a culture. Love it when people read 1 wiki article on your major and think they can use it to strengthen their argument, when it just makes it cringey.

[@chewbaccamcclain7662]

"there's a lot of fish in the sea. Literally. Depending on your interests." 😂😂😂

[@filthycasual6118]

Dolphins are very smart, and we could actually communicate with them someday. It'd still be weird as hell, but at least dolphins would be able to consent.

[@chewbaccamcclain7662]

@@filthycasual6118 I don't even know what to say rn 😂

[@RIBAYRO]

I don't trust dolphins. They laugh way too much

[@chewbaccamcclain7662]

@@RIBAYRO I have your word bro

[@robertsides3626]

Do you like fishsticks?

[@Mhaakify]

"You have to go out and give them food and water. It's not easy" Welcome to my tutorial for feeding your pet. Step 1: Fill bowl with food/water. Step 2: Put it on the ground. Congratulations! You have successfully fed your pet. And always remember, feeding your animal does not require the removal of your pants.

[@DogsDoDance]

Success for a dog is probably not getting raped.

[@TnT_F0X]

No... why... I was having such a nice day.

[@joshualeahy2162]

@Sepulcher Knight I feel bad for all the folks who were hyped on last new years eve, bet they're regretting that now lol. 2020 is a complete and utter shitshow. There's been some good aspects but the negative far outweighs the positive currently.

[@ionremi1001]

Welp now you are not

[@solarcow9546]

Because deep down, we're all masochists

[@logy650]

These sick freaks literally admit to knowing and understanding the arguments against their deviancy, and they still defend it. They don’t care if a dog can’t consent; it’s all about what they want. They’ll delude themselves into thinking the animal wants it if that’s what it takes.

[@TnT_F0X]

@@logy650 I might be a prude, but even if my dog could talk and had the awareness to consent... I still wouldn't do it.

[@smitemil]

seeing where sangie ends up on the screen makes me lose my mind each time it cracks me up and idk why

[@D.Vladdy]

They should ask Stella if she would "date" a human. She'd say no and then ask her owner to call 911. Problem solved.

[@logy650]

That whole segment left me speechless. They think that dogs can be made equal with the snap of a finger, but they don’t realize that something like that is going to take millions of years of evolution. By that time who knows what’s going on around here.

[@D.Vladdy]

@@logy650 Exactly! Just listening to them try (and fail miserably) to justify their actions was a ride I feel dumber for getting on. They think a dog is equivalant to person and can give consent yet have no problem going out to buy and raise said animal from pup to adult dog, only then to start molesting them; is that not equivalent to the idea of buying a child and grooming them for your sick exploits when they are of age? Even if they are going for a older dog (like that monotoned chick was prattling on about) at a kennel the same logic applies. You still bought an animal you believe to be on the same level of cognitive function and development as a bipedal highly evolved homosapian. Only then to have them sleep on the floor or outside like - well- a pet. If you did that with a person that would be considered abusive (unless it was some kinky consensual stuff yes I know. Still not comparable bc that has to do with consent between adult humans and not the damn dog but anyway) If we are equal in "person hood" is that not what they are implying with this rational? They still think of that dog as a lesser beast that they can control with more ease then a fully mature adult who could leave their creepy ass. Dogs are subservient and yield to you bc you are their food source and protector and higher ranked pack member. You are their family and they trust you. These people know that. This is just an abusive power play that isn't going to give them jail time of they were caught (depending on where they live) Thats my interpretation of their word vomit anyway. I can't wrap my head around their logic; and for that I'm grateful.

[@ScrawnyTreeDemon]

@@D.Vladdy Forreal, you put it perfectly. I can't stand this shit.

[@TruecrimeWithAlicia]

And if Stella is fixed she will never want to breed anything! If she isn't fixed she would only have 1-2 heat cycles a year. She would only crave a male dog to help her reproduce. These ppl are Rapist! They are trying to justify them Raping animals but even Science proves otherwise.

[@mattimabri791]

When that one cretin described the "hard work" that goes into his "relationship," he was literally just describing the experience of being a decent pet owner. Worms for brains.

[@AG-mk1qj]

I miss the powder gangers...

[@undyingrevenant2734]

@woah woah dude literally who isn't a new vegas fan? It's mentioned in comparison to like every other game and borderline book that involves a plot and/or nukes

[@stuglife5514]

@Ryan Jones Hey Ryan, most fallout fans think new Vegas is the best one. New Vegas is role play and stat heavy, you’ll get fucked if you just try and play it like fallout 4. I’d say get it but take your time, it’s a game that makes you make decisions unlike fallout 4 which just has you shoot things. So if you want a good branching story please try it

[@Pactastic042]

@@undyingrevenant2734 just downloaded new vegas

[@filthycasual6118]

@Ryan Jones ngl, FO4 is kinda braindead. Settlement making is nice, and gets the part of my brain that wants to garden tingling. Gunplay is more responsive than previous titles. But the story and setting just feels generic. Had a similar problem with 3; the whole setting was kinda cardboard with nothing propping it up. NV is pretty good. It had to lean pretty hard on FO1 and 2 for its setting, but given how much (IMO) east-coast Fallout flopped, I don't mind. I can actually believe that NV is a setting populated with individuals with differing goals, ideas, and histories. The Bethesda ones revolutionized the gameplay for their eras, but are populated entirely by blank slates, and there's nothing interesting really going on.

[@oz_jones]

@Ryan Jones it's wonderful. It's clunkier than 4, but otherwise solid

[@makototachibana539]

"Its Wednesday September 2nd 2020" ...and it sounds like 2008.

[@crackedmarbel8880]

Wow that guy really just sat there and explained the basics of taking care of pets like it was some new ground breaking info.

[@jlzer0YT]

how did i get to this video of young alex jones talking about zoophiles?

[@cavejohnson4306]

Alex Junior

[@lemonnomel9416]

They’re the same age

[@卩尺乇-s1t]

As one of those dudes said Bobcat, my cat ran and hid under my bed.

[@ctobolsk]

I’d love to see him try to get it on with an actual bobcat. Problem solved.

[@fredithegeroo906]

@@ctobolsk SOB would lose his nuts!

[@TankTheArtist777]

Animals can sense bad people... Smart cat.

[@Litepaw]

No, please don't. I don't need this in my life right now. My curiosity will absolutely be my downfall.

[@oz_jones]

Curiosity -killed- raped the cat

[@tomo8324]

@@oz_jones a cat is fine too

[@dreamsicle3113]

Same, I'm 14 minutes in and trying to exit out this video but the comment section is going in and I want context. Why did I have to be so nosey?

[@gaiusmanus1500]

I'm having flashbacks to Metokur's Amos Yee stream with how they're talking about how something as smart as a baby could choose to become involved. The disgust I feel right now is imeasurable.

[@DogsDoDance]

All these people want is a sexual "partner" that can't object to what they want. A dog can't say no. A dog can't tell other people what's going on. A dog is helpless to whatever the owner wants. Also, even if a dog does act like it wants it, it could be just trying to make the owner happy. Dogs aren't romantically sexual animals. They don't have sex out of love. Also, everything "loving" thing this guy does for his dog is the minimum of good pet care. And I wouldn't even say that because pet owners who say their dog is family actually keep them inside with the rest of the family.

[@seblorkhan2618]

Dogs are pack animals. We always have the pets on the lowest rank so of fucking course they'll do what they can to make the higher ranking happy. If you rape your dog they aint gonna fight back as your the alpha and hold more power over them. Theyre in a domestic abuse scenario.

[@AwesomeYena]

@@seblorkhan2618 Wolves don't have alphas

[@blackjack9612]

My soul died when he said he had a dog

[@Sebastian_Michaelis]

I cannot stand Eli's voice, he sounds like he's trying to dirty talk into a xbox headset.

[@mxdbnowhdf8dsu9f8uf7]

omg its you i saw your comment thread on their videos big ops to treating them like the worthless blights they are

[@Sebastian_Michaelis]

@@mxdbnowhdf8dsu9f8uf7 They're disgusting. I'm really passionate about animals, I can't stand to see them abused and these ignorant fucks claim it's a sexuality.

[@madisontheys7665]

Was Eli the one that sounded like a rip-off Salad Fingers?

[@somekiwi7779]

@@madisontheys7665 yeah, the one that almost sounds like a chain smoker

[@danielgiovanniello7217]

@@Sebastian_Michaelis I'm passionate about turning terrible people into decorations for the oak tree on my front lawn.

[@debayeuxchats5607]

"The same as in human relationships, where you try to set each other up for success" Ah yeah, I remember when my Italian Greyhound worked an extra job to help me go back to college and get my degree. She put so many hours in, but she decided it was worth it to help me pursue my dreams.

[@1CrazyHellWolfIsAwesome]

This made me cry laughing, thank you

[@hicknopunk]

The 20 seconds of silence is to observe the trauma the pets went through.

[@john_toss]

I wonder if papa claw is gonna cover that one streamer that defended Zoophilia and CP recently

[@Litepaw]

Which one streamer? (Allegedly)

[@mileidyclass]

Who? If that's a real thing, then yeah, he should rip that person a new one.

[@LordKane773]

@@Litepaw Vaush recently did, he stated on stream that he has "found no valid legal or moral argument" that prevent either CP or Zoophilia from being legal.

[@YoungBuckofthe69]

@@LordKane773 vaush is small brain

[@Litepaw]

@LordKane773 Oh of course it has to be vaush. Not even surprised. That guy has the most insane mental gymnastics i've ever seen

[@ProbsNotABot]

Wait... they're saying it's not easy because they need to go look after their 'partners' when they sick, get them out of their 'companion cubes' when it's storming, and other things... THAT'S JUST WHAT RESPONSIBLE PET OWNERS DO, YOU'RE NOT DOING ANYTHING SPECIAL FOR THEM! Wtf, are they thinking?

[@mileidyclass]

I've been anticipating this video for so long, that I actually downloaded the stream (I had to download it in two halves because of the way the downloader was) and uploaded the two halves to Google Drive. Keep ripping people like this a new one, Claw Father. They deserve all the ridicule they get for wanting to take advantage of innocent creatures that can't consent.

[@koomgs3912]

Take a shot everytime Eli says "social mammal"

[@Mitzthatonekid]

You'd have alcohol poisoning by the time the stream ends.

[@TheYgds]

Owning and homing a pet now seems like a moral responsibility of good natured humans, just to keep them away from being preyed upon by these people.

[@TheAlmightyLoli]

Imagine some poor zookeeper stumbling into a podcast like this, thinking it's for normal people who love animals.

[@EsmeMarion]

"I'm Wintergreen Wolf" NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[@mythosinfinite6736]

What's that name known for?

[@EsmeMarion]

@@mythosinfinite6736 oh he was a major twitter zoophile that was a popular target a few months back

[@mythosinfinite6736]

@@spinelizardxx2zw Nothing can be worse than Woof at this point

[@mythosinfinite6736]

@@EsmeMarion Ah, famous for being a degen. Thanks, that clears it up.

[@Emma_The_H0ppin_H00ligan]

Oh hey i know you! I used to follow you on twitter back when i was in the cookie run fandom, how's it goin?

[@mattmckee7498]

"Novas in heat right now, so I'm taking care of that." Oh my GOd, I literally just threw up in my mouth. WTF is wrong with these freaks???

[@DistractedGlobeGuy]

Daddy never told them "no".

[@thepandabookkeeper3180]

It's been a month and I still think about "small brain, smooth like peanut" often

[@Vulpes_Ailurus]

#gasthezoos

[@BAKU2K2]

Protecc the doggo: (◠ᴥ◕ʋ)

[@jacksoncampbell4160]

No no no friend, #drawandquarterthezoos

[@imdyinginside1919]

@@BAKU2K2 no

[@mythosinfinite6736]

@@imdyinginside1919 We gas the zoos to protect the dogs, is simple

[@imdyinginside1919]

@@mythosinfinite6736 with the dog inside?

[@PilotJericho]

I was eating noodles during this.

[@Litepaw]

Damn you, now i want noodles. Can you make me some?

[@Litepaw]

@@poopnach oh no.

[@redditor001]

@@poopnach damn man. you beat me to the punchline

[@Sue_Me_Too]

The thing where the dog knows 43 words is actually really cool; the dog has a bunch of buttons on the floor that it can push to say a word and it can put simple sentences together. Most dogs that are trained on this system just mash the "play" and "outside" buttons.

[@fritzedelweiss]

Every dog owned by a zoophile should have a "no!Stop!" Or "Help!Call 911" Button

[@Sue_Me_Too]

Can.... Can you hold a blunt with the claw?

[@stuglife5514]

I forget my own blunts in my hands all the time. Imagine forgetting it locked into your claw

[@Sue_Me_Too]

@@stuglife5514 at least he wouldn't have to worry about it burning his fingers

[@seashrike202]

Asking the real questions

[@DistractedGlobeGuy]

Gotta stick it on the hook like a sausage on a barbecue fork.

[@k.g3349]

I am genuinely disappointed that I share the same planet as these creatures.

[@cassandra.wladyslava]

“People think it’s just a silly kink!” Oh trust me, I don’t think it’s a silly kink at all. I take your animal abuse VERY seriously. Also, how much do you want to bet that these people consider a dog humping their leg as a come on/proof the dog “wanted it”?

[@Lucy_Ford]

Chills...

[@KingManga360]

THANK YOU!!!

[@DeevDaRabbit]

Unrelated note, but why do you look like Joana Dark from Perfect Dark Zero? Assuming that profile pic is you, that is.

[@cassandra.wladyslava]

@@DeevDaRabbit Coincidence and a bit of hair dye, I guess? Lol. Yes, that is me.

[@princesssoybean]

Note on the humping, for dogs humping can be a sexual thing but it’s mostly just their excitement from playing or just them being exited. It doesn’t fkn mean they want you to fuck them... these people disgust me

[@alexsnightmare]

"I have a companion in my life, a German Shephard" I literally said "oh god" to that. I hope someone gets that poor dog out of that situation

[@ParkerPlays2005]

i feel sick now...

[@Timelost_Techpriest]

11:55 "These people need to be made into suits" Hey, it's a fellow Rimworld player!

[@Mathee]

I can't believe they actually tried to use the new thing of dog owners training their dogs to use buttons to communicate as proof that dogs are totally able to consent; it has always been known that dogs recognize a certain amount of words, and you're right Deadwing, dogs' intelligence are basically on the level of a human toddler, which just goes to show why dogs cannot consent, even if they are capable of communicating certain words, thoughts and feelings!

[@lanaj7843]

realizing if this guy has buttons for his dog to talk one of them would have to be “sex”

[@HazelTheHare]

"People dont understand the struggle" It's called basic pet care.

[@candycasserole219]

average people: friendzone Me, an intellectual who watches DeadwingDork: *c o m p a n i o n c u b e*

[@Emilio_Draconetti]

have they figured out the age of consent of a dog yet

[@BigBroTejano]

Hearing this woman speak about technology to justify Zoo* gives me flashbacks to Vaush telling Vegan Gains that buying a computer is the same morally as viewing CP... not because with a computer you can view CP on the internet... but because slaves in African mines make the glass for the computer screen... demonstrating both that Vaush will truly say just about anything to try and win a argument, and that as with most things doesn’t actually know what the hell he’s talking about.

[@mcnoodles3010]

Link to this my guy? This sounds crazy lmao

[@BigBroTejano]

@@mcnoodles3010 kzbin.info/www/bejne/a2Gmm6pte9ZpjKM Here is the direct clip in question. For the full debate(about a hour 30) just type in “Vaush and Vegan Gains debate” and the full video should pop up.

[@svgarpaws]

I mean, he did try to explain his point more after the debate. Doesn't change that it was a really, really dumb point, but come on now, people. At least also mention that part.

[@BigBroTejano]

@@svgarpaws I admit I have not seen him try and better explain this rather poor choice of words... I have however seen him go on to defend the possession and legality of CP... maybe he’s trolling... but then again Amos Yee was also “trolling.”

[@seblorkhan2618]

Next it'll be eyes as you need those to view cp

[@dingdong5212]

Blessed be the Claw Bear, doing Gods work, one schmuck at a time.

[@deltoroperdedor3166]

We can't let God do all the work tho

[@dahlap6708]

UNBAN GAITH.

[@ElRojo651]

dogs have been an very important part of history and should have the same legal right to protection like kids, but they are in no way equal to us

[@enterthenormie3999]

He really loves being "IN" nature.

[@uui219]

Ooh

[@robertsides3626]

7:18 Bartender: "What's your poison?" Me: _rolls up sleeve_ "Let's skip the middle-man and just inject your hardest whiskey. In fact, mix me some Airport Jungle Juice."

[@Dorito_Djinn]

Lmao guy with high voice sounds like a politician giving a bs response

[@megamax898]

Zoophiles: I just respect animals more.

[@aporue5893]

everyone: NO

[@DeevDaRabbit]

Did you know animals don't enjoy the feeling of being on the receiving end?

[@megamax898]

@@DeevDaRabbit I don't know, I never gave it to them. I would assume they do not enjoy it though.

[@jamzee_]

“I once again have a partner in my life, a lovely german shepherd.” ............ Im surprised our bear boy didn’t vomit at the sentence.

[@SatomiForward]

Zooier than thou is now. "Z O O T T"

[@Sebastian_Michaelis]

HOLY SHIT YOURE RIGHT THANK GODDDD

[@AntiqueBambi]

But then there’s the question.. did KZbin do its job or did they realize they had been exposed and fucked off

[@DoomGuyPictures]

GOOD

[@SatomiForward]

@@AntiqueBambi I think the first one. Haven't checked they're twitters yet to see if they went DFE

[@AntiqueBambi]

Joe Dirt god I hope so

[@marcusjay8103]

"Cheers for inviting me over, where's the other half?" "Ah! She's just shitting in the garden! I'm sorting out her bowl of food now so she can join us"

[@yuuily]

There’s need to be registered animal abusers

[@seblorkhan2618]

If you adopt an animal in my country a police report is often done and if you have any animal related crimes its an INSTANT NO

[@ku8408]

i be feeling so emotionally numb and then BOOM something that triggers my fight or flight or breakdown nervous laughing gets posted Thank you I think lol

[@chandlerbetts7672]

This is an extremely dangerous pattern of thinking. Being sexually attracted to a pet had VERY alarming parallels to being sexually attracted to their own children (if they have them) it's not normal and shouldn't be treated as such.

[@electricfishfan]

Hey it’s been 2 years but funny, you’re exactly right. 35-40% of criminal zoos also get busted for ch/ld crimes, and visa versa. One researcher cited that in her practice, as many as 70% expressed overlapping sentiments when interviewed. So that leads me to always assume that these freaks are both.

[@Cinnie.Stories]

I'm listening to this while I paint a dog portrait and I'm supremely uncomfortable lol

[@Pilsnor]

There should be an international task force just for tracking down and arresting these animal abusers!

[@TheKilroyman]

I'm with you on that one bro!

[@yoshgoshjosh]

it’s like every time she talks, dork seems more confused.

[@weroestavez8259]

1:15:06 I had a physical reaction when he said that, it’s one thing when they talk about the “relationship” the way he said “so I’m taking care of that” sent a physical shock of revulsion up my body

[@cheesyskin782]

😰 oh my god I nearly missed that line

[@seerai-42]

i know when you guys saw the colors your first thought was "weird trans flag" but my first thought was "cotton candy french flag"

[@Aga22224]

you gotta give zooier than thou credit they had good mic quality and didnt sound like the were talking though a tin can

[@TheKilroyman]

My Dad was a Dog Handler when he was in the Army, and he worked with German Shepherds. If he saw what this guy does with his German Shepherd, he'd lose his shit.

[@Carnyzzle]

why is it that zoo people basically always excuse it by going, "well people don't like me"

[@bibizaman2347]

I don’t know, but at least they’re self aware enough to know we don’t.

[@tomfoolery5211]

Cant wait for ozzy bobcat to try something with real bobcat. Lets just say the results would not be what Ozzy imagines.

[@elfiebranford9330]

My Monday was actually going well, Claw, and now it's cursed with this stuff.

[@Gusomilkprod]

"I have a companion in my life, a wonderful German Shepard" That shit almost made me crash my truck, but after hearing about Doug and his escapades I now have to watch my dog use the bathroom with a shotgun in hand.

[@jenkay17]

That lady... Barely said anything about her...dog?? Most pet owners would be gushing about all the weird shit their pets do, she came up with... "He likes eggs". what is wrong with these people??

[@gordonmorgan3131]

"FEET" Ad: youve got life figured out

[@Mehhhhhhhh]

*takes a puppy from it's litter* *does the bare minimum by feeding them, keeping them alive* "I DO SO MUCH FOR THEIR LOVE. OUR LOVE STORY IS ONE FOR THE AGES, ACCEPT US"