Deconstructing Girl Defined: When Toxic Faith Destroys Lives | Downfall

[@PettyUniversity]

Team Swoop here. If you didn’t hear, Swoop was recently physically assaulted in the midst of coping with medical trauma that she has kept private. (You can read her post here www.youtube.com/@PettyUniversity/community ) She has several docs that were already in production so we will be finishing them and putting them out while Swoop takes some time away for healing. As always, we deeply appreciate your support, and she loves this community with her whole heart. > Start speaking a new language in 3 weeks with Babbel 🎉 Get up to 60% OFF your subscription ➡ HERE: go.babbel.com/t?bsc=usa-influ-eg-dt-1m&btp=default&KZbin&Influencer..May-2024..USA-TATAM..1200m60-yt-swoop-may-2024 > OMG! Get your new Petty University VALID apparel here! : bit.ly/PettyUniversity > Watch Swoop’s second channel: kzbin.info/www/bejne/jXvGgGdpp7Njb8ksi=BklJ_ABC_UyY148z Instagram: bit.ly/3uXM1xC Twitter: bit.ly/3mWpeQ5 TikTok: @ Swoopswoopswoop

[@danielsantiagourtado3430]

Thanks For this ! Your documentaries are MAGNIFICENT ❤❤❤❤

[@jordanrakes9786]

I sincerely hope you are able to heal. Sending positive thoughts 🩵🩵

[@GetElevatedWithMe]

Sending lots of healing vibes and love to you Swoop. ❤❤❤❤

[@Chlobeaarr]

You've validated so many of us and helped so many people heal so please take all the time to do what you need to do

[@fuckgoogle3335]

Praying for healing ❤️‍🩹

[@SPMunny]

That little blurb about Marilyn monroe they used made me physically ill. Like 1) read at least one book about her and 2) let the woman rest

[@halcyon63]

And she was Jewish! (Converted when she married + remained Jewish I believe)

[@mestillme3026]

Marilyn Monroe is rolling over in her grave at their using her to push purity culture.

[@victoriavilagines5596]

The fact they use Marilyn is hilarious, especially knowing their stance on the lgbtq+ community. It’s not a well known fact granted but she was bi, and very attracted to women. She also LITERALLY A SEX SYMBOL. The ignorance, I can’t 😂

[@photofreak56]

I'm glad that I'm not the only one who got really pissed when they brought up Marilyn Monroe someone who was a victim of sexual abuse throughout her life and also a woman who converted to Judaism and was a deeply spiritual Jew and to have these little Evangelical granddaughters of Nazis use her in that way just disgusts me

[@SPMunny]

@victoriavilagines5596 It’s especially nauseating because they’re using her as a cautionary tale when not only was she a very intelligent, compassionate, and talented woman, but to twist the reason that she’s no longer with us to “dissatisfaction with having it all” like GIRL the abuse???? The objectification????? 🤢🤢🤢

[@WeeLassReacts]

Student of the Petty University here! I really hope that Swoop is doing okay, and thank you to her and the team for another documentary. But please don't push yourself! All our love to Swoop 💝

[@SeinIshamiado]

Yes! Preach Moscoe! Swoop supremacy! Justice for swoop! 🩵🩵🩵🩵

[@mimibelta259]

Yes don’t push herself too much but if a KZbinr doesn’t post for a few days they lose viewership and money so she she to think of herself as well as her employees so she kinda has to post

[@meggy3635]

@@mimibelta259Her team is uploading some docs in her absence. Regardless, I think her mental health and safety are more important than views.

[@joyallmon4979]

I actually watch you and your girlfriend, and it is no interesting that you watch swoop as well, the 3 of you have been incredibly helpful in my journey to accepting myself, nd I wanted to say thank you

[@morbidbeauty_]

Yes!! Swooooopppp!!

[@Zahoreoz]

I have a friend who was SA’d by her “Christian” stepfather. Her mom is still married to him. She apologizes for the situation yet she won’t leave him. The pastor of my old church was told this. He did not report it. Her parents are leaders in the church. This happens too often.

[@mamajewels8481]

I'm so sorry that all happened to you. I hope that you have peace now in your life.

[@emajohnes372]

Omg I hope she is ok now I can't imagine the trauma I also almost got SAd by a stranger that one of my mom's maid she brings a stranger and then we got saved by my mom coming home early she didn't know what happened to me after 4 years later I was 12 I told my mom and she makes me tell it Infront of my Young siblings I am the oldest and laugh at me ahe made fun of me all of the laughed and th forced me to wash the dishes after

[@meganwalker2670]

my step father tried to groom me and he’s atheist but my mom is so brainwashed by her christianity she won’t leave him 🥲 i feel like this happens too often in this religion

[@kajsagauza]

Mafia behavior

[@theBestElliephant]

The ones who believe the hardest have the most to be forgiven for.

[@elleirenex3]

As a gay, they're right, I do have a secret agenda: to live my most authentic life and influence others to live theirs too.

[@kimberini6465]

Shhh! The secret will get.out! Some ppl are not ready for the agenda 😂

[@shadowpoet4398]

Agreed. As a Pan in a straight marriage, All I want is for everyone to not let anybody tell them what's good for them. What's good for me is not good for you. Never let anyone take your soul away, just be yourself each and every day. Live and let live, and always remember to stay blazin'. My late father was in the USAAF/USAF for several decades. All he wanted after that was peace, harmony, and to live and let live. People have to see hell to truly appreciate heaven.

[@sae200502167]

Damn that's some nefarious agenda right there, crime against humanity 😂 Jokes aside, people gotta start minding their own business and leave people and their preferences alone as long as they aren't hurting anyone!

[@stephaniejenkins7822]

@@sae200502167 People wouldn't ever do that, or they'd have nothing to do with their boring lives. It's kinda sad, really, that people have so much free time that they can use it like this.

[@lexxxaa]

And we love that ❤

[@CookNCream]

Dear Swoop Team, Please tell Swoop that she is valid, loved, and finds the healing she needs to get through this hard time. Love The Alumni of Petty University

[@Kaleidescope66]

100% ❤❤❤

[@cassier3544]

Preach! ❤

[@Leleche]

As a gay woman, who's been married for 17 years.. I have no agenda lol... We live in Scotland and have the most boring lives possible. We go to work, go to the cinema on the weekend and get excited over buying house plants. Like.... Wtf do they think we do with our time 😅, we just mind our own business.

[@CityBohoGirl]

Ha this is so everything. You know what they say… the louder someone b*tches about something the more they secretly want it. lol

[@SQUID0NKEY]

I'm a transman and I agree. I mean, cleaning the house, learning for exams, and going to McDonald's with my girlfriend once in a while is basically all I do... But I think they believe that we draw panatagrams on the floor and summon demons all day...😂

[@katarzynarymszo929]

As a pansexual non binary person who was Born as female yes. I am a gym rat, go to dates with my boyfriend (who is Christian btw), watch my favourite cartoons and sci fi movies, Play sims, do grocieres etc. I AM boring as fuck and my secret agenda is only that love is love and everybody deserve a right to choose about their body autonomy. But my day to day life doesnt revolve around overthrowing Christian faith or drawing pentagrams

[@tyannokay]

Your life sounds lovely! And that's coming from a pansexual who's lived a crazy life.

[@purplecat4977]

To be fair, 'own business minding' probably looks pretty strange to this crowd.

[@requiredparticular6831]

Referring to some as “damaged goods” means some are “goods,” and all are products to consume, or reject. People are not products.

[@kaseydrew4160]

I have to say I agree. Love Swoop but being a mental health therapist myself I believe there are many more descriptive words to use besides “damaged” which is really stigmatizing. That being said - who of us escapes life without some level of “damage?”

[@requiredparticular6831]

@@kaseydrew4160 I think I was actually commenting on the way the sisters said that. I used to work as a mental health therapist. Kind of burnt out.

[@Blakserenity]

All are precious in Gods eyes. He keeps no records of wrongs. We are NOT damaged goods. As an assault victim myself, I lived in that mindset though… you feel like there is no point to caring about purity anymore and feel like you have no value. This led me to have sex with two other men before God showed me I was loved and that I could be washed clean. I have been abstinent for 10 years and even now I refuse to have sex with my boyfriend.

[@rebeccasteinke4357]

Are they unaware that literally every theater performance until not even that long ago was a drag performance because women weren't allowed to act? That's so weird to me.

[@moonwalkerangel7008]

Yep you are right that Men played women’s roles from Greek performances to Tudor times in plays. Then acting was banned because theatre, sport and Christmas was “distracting the Christian/Puritan relationship with God” and was only bought back with the Monarchy restoration with King Charles II… I could be wrong with the history of drama.

[@muepoweri2935]

Well they never went to college so /j

[@elaexplorer]

No, I'm sure they don't have the intellectual curiosity to look into what they've been told. They take everything they've been told as cold hard facts and can't understand why anyone would disagree with them.

[@emilyrhea]

And the earliest female preformers- ballerinas- were sex workers.

[@alim.9801]

No they probably genuinely don't know that, unfortunately. Man, I'm so tired of the anti-drag discourse and ignorance of history and drag culture (and where it intersects with more mainstream culture), it's just tiring 😮‍💨

[@taylord2645]

Sociology Professor here Dr. Swoop and I wanted to provide a bit of perspective from my experience teaching people like Girl Defined in my classrooms since you seem to be super interested in that this doc! I've seen people like this basically divided into two camps: those ready to learn and those that refuse to. Some people literally take my class just to tell me I'm wrong and "pushing the liberal agenda" and even though I extend grace, they usually just double down because they are either not ready or refuse to learn. The other group though, is actively ready to learn, even if they don't agree (and for your sanity, I assure you it is the MUCH larger group). The group that is ready to learn is interesting because more often then not, they DON'T end up changing their personal views, but they instead open themselves up to more of the gray area instead of talking in absolutes. Ex: If the person believes a woman's place is in the home, I provide stats on household incomes and how many women have to work, then they tend to adapt their thinking to "if you can" a woman's place should be in the home, but that's not always possible. This group mainly opens themselves up to give a little more grace to people in different situations, which I think is a great step forward! From what my students have told me, these original views 100% start at home and a lot of it is reinforced through religious private schools. They also try to cut off or demonize outside views so much, that many of my students didn't feel safe to question anything until they got to college, and when they go home they still pretend to be the way they were. I think the best way to provide space is to not demonize their religion/upbringing either because that's exactly what they've been told we'll do. I think you do an excellent job doing that for the general public on this channel (since classrooms can only reach so many) and it might help others who were dissuaded from a college education (like Bethany) to learn the same things that many professors like myself teach at the college level. Take care of yourself and keep up the good work! I love a good Petty University moment 💚

[@TheAngryAutisticArsehole]

Professor, thank you for the job you do. As an Autistic person, your field has been critical to my survival in our society. I mean this literally, not figuratively; I live because of what Sociology professors have taught me. Sociology helped me understand the individual through the eyes of the group. It allowed me to understand group dynamics and non verbal communication in a way that let me function without the ability to naturally use them. I don’t know if you’ve ever been told about that little side effect of your field and profession, but I think it is important for you to know how important the study of Sociology is to me and my people. No reply necessary, I just saw your post and realized I haven’t thanked a Sociologist lately for all they do. Be well, Kali

[@jacksonmcnuggets7488]

Thank you for this ❤

[@Wired_User]

That reminds me of something I heard about JW and their door-to-door missionary work: the church *knows* it’s unlikely to find more recruits that way, and that the missionaries will be persecuted, and that’s the *point*. These young missionaries will be further pushed into their religious extremist bubble and hopefully become a full JW zealot.

[@ele1483]

I’m doing work In my college with climate change and teaching it and I absolutely 100% see what you talked about. It’s tough especially with harder information to grasp but it’s all the same teaching-wise

[@LMBillingsley]

Thank you for sharing this! It gives me pause as to how to interact with grace and understanding to people who might not extend the same. I'm so glad you are positioned to give young people the opportunity to learn about the world outside the bubble of their upbringing ❤

[@magwrecker]

The 50% failure rate for marriages is not true anymore. It's dropped drastically because people are not getting married when they're so young, which is a good thing!

[@Ashbrash1998]

Another part is that mist of the people in that study were older couples, not younger ones.

[@justkiddin84]

Divorce in the LDS is really high-purity culture-kids marrying people they barely know too young and then not liking them over time. Go figure.

[@maddiemcnugget1076]

@@Ashbrash1998 See this is what I was thinking. I feel like we need to look into the context of every study and fact that is flung around. Like Marie Antoinette was not recorded to say "let them eat cake", but that was an accepted fact for decades. I never even thought to look into the context of the 50% of marriages statistic even though I always doubted it. My brain is not as questioning and curious as I thought it was!

[@ByeByeBelly]

50% of my marriages have failed.. heh

[@AnnekeOosterink]

Yeah, plus, it's people getting married because they had to, mostly women suffered a lot for not being married, ie, socially, unmarried and pregnant was (still is in many places) a social death. Up until pretty recently that would mean complete ostracisation. So people were forced to get married to people they weren't compatible with, or were forced to marry because that's just what you do if you want to survive. The kind of jobs you could get as an unmarried woman were pretty limited for a long time. So if you only have bad options you take the one that's the least horrible. It makes sense that once divorce is open to you, you take that out.

[@courtneythames5718]

The idea of using Virginity as a form of value on women is appalling. I grew up in an area where that was rampant, and as someone who forcibly lost their virginity i spent many years dealing with people who shamed me for something I had no control over. I can't handle these girls and their ideas. Its dangerous to young women.

[@dnycebushton5008]

ikr...it is genuinely stupid. I dont have sex, but its not because any of their goofy reasons.

[@VibinJivin]

I'm so sorry you endured such pain because of ignorance. its so unacceptable the amount of suffering these so called godly people cause.

[@courtneythames5718]

@@VibinJivin thank you 😊

[@molleirose]

I was raised in religion. I remember going back to my usual Sunday church (went to different church for Wednesdays) after I was sa'd. Of course it was the youth leader going off about how ech time you have sex before marriage you're ruining yourself and you're gonna feel so guilty when you get married and can't "give that gift" to your spouse. I broke. I sobbed. I walked out. She followed, I screamed at her, and that was that. I never went back for a church service. Anywhere. Not to mention that I had been raped while at the church I went to on Wednesdays. Behind the church. No one noticed I went mia. I'll never respect any of the Christian religion again.

[@angeldream1]

I’m so sorry that happened to you. That’s what happened to me also. And I felt so much shame. I hope you are able to completely heal. It’s horrible to have it be not your choice and also feel bad for something not in your control

[@pinkjellybean4019]

In 2021 I was drunk outside a gay club drunk smoking a cig during intermission of the drag show being put on that night. I rarely drink and other factors that night caused me to be drunker than I realized. I was sitting, passed out, fell and literally broke my face. I ended up having to have a plate put in my face with surgery. But while waiting on the ambulance I was taken care of the drag queens that were outside having a smoke during the break. That night was awful for me but they were so nice and comforted me. I’m 37 and being going to drag shows since my teen years. They have a big place in my heart!!

[@achohelelwhy]

I grew up mormon and we were DEFINITELY taught if we broke the law of chastity we were "chewed gum" or a "licked cupcake" (and no one is going to want you after you've been sampled). Internalized misogyny is a huge part of the culture. We're taught our bodies cause men to sin, but men aren't told to pluck out their eyes.

[@MotherCryptid]

Isn’t it wild how strong the bias is? I didn’t grow up Mormon, but with very strict Christian parents who treated it this way.

[@hollyk7052]

I got crumpled foil lmao

[@achohelelwhy]

@@hollyk7052 that is SO beyond effed up. I'm so sorry you were taught that.

[@rinesserin]

Oh my god, I read that as "we were told that if we chewed gum or licked a cupcake, we broke the law of chastity" and I was SO confused. I'm glad that you managed to escape that line of thinking and have hopefully built a much more fulfilling life outside of it!

[@saucyblossom]

Yep! Growing up in the heart of Utah County was not easy with those strong mentalities everywhere. I later worked for an OBGYN and the amount of women that came in because they needed both physical and emotional help having sex for the first time while their husbands were heavily porn-influenced and expecting their new wives to just be ready to roll was SO common.

[@adinosinetriphosphate]

"We don't want to spend our most fertile years chasing a career or a degree" I do actually, but thank you

[@tinyvalkyrie1]

I spent my most fertile years chasing a PhD and regret absolutely nothing. I'm a cool aunt, not a cool mom.

[@TheoRae8289]

Funny she says that while quite literally having a career on youtube.

[@virgofairy88]

I chased a career in medical coding, now it’s auditing and I have no regrets. Worth it.

[@donttalktomeyoureannoying8736]

I chased a career and I could care less about it. I am more into my hobbies, my son, traveling, and fashion. So yes i only got a career to survive but i don’t believe in nobody’s rat race

[@alim.9801]

I'm wasting my fertile years chasing a career right now, and honestly I'm happier than I've been for a few years!! I know they'll never even try to understand, but I WISH they'd understand not everyone is built to have kids, mentally or even physically!!

[@erinhogan1760]

Women couldn't own credit cards or have bank accounts until the 70s. There are women alive today that remember not having autonomy available in society.

[@ginao6810]

My mother, a life long feminist who turns 70 next weekend, has never had a bank account without a man attached. When she finished university in 1974, she needed her father’s signature to open a bank account. She used that account until she got married in 1987, when she and my father opened a joint account. They still use that same bank account today. This shit isn’t far in the past. It’s still with us in the present - my mother is living proof.

[@erinhogan1760]

@ginao6810 That is so sad. I am going to spend today filled with gratitude over the strides society has made here and reflection on the women in societies who can't go outside without a man.

[@annabee1896]

I was raised in an ultra conservative evangelical family. It's insane the amount of hate, misogyny, and absolute judgement a lot of them have. We were taught purity culture and it was traumatizing. I knew NOTHING and surprise surprise got pregnant at 16 because I didn't even understand what exactly I was doing (thanks to my abusive ex for taking advantage of that) and went to Liberty University's very own pregnancy home *cough prison. Where we were taught how EXTREMELY sinful we were and were paraded around for the college students to look at as a "lesson". Purity culture is dangerous for SO many reasons and grooming young women to listen and "obey" a man whilst being taken advantage of for lack of understanding and knowledge of sex Ed. Not knowing sex ed to the point of being embarrassed to not talk about sex leads to women being perfect prey for sexual abusers. Who are we going to tell? Our parents who said any kind of sex would take away from our "future husbands"? No one would "want" us anymore? Purity culture is built by men who just want to control women.

[@LibMess99]

My Christian Parents: "Do not even hold a man's hand! That leads to Pregnancy!" Me an Asexual: "Okay???" My parents: "When are you going to give us grandbabies?" Me, still an Asexual: "no"

[@PGOuma]

Meeee

[@sowe97]

I always thought i was just really good at waiting for marriage lmao

[@purple66666]

Holy shit. Hello fellow garlic bread enjoyer! 👾🤍🎶

[@zaramikazuki8374]

Ah yep, been there done that, though I'm non-Christian Indian-American. My parents were fine, but my friends' parents (of all races and religions) would use me as a point of comparison to shame their own daughters, like "why can't you be more like her? she only cares about school, doesn't go out with boys, doesn't drink/smoke, and definitely doesn't kiss let alone have sex". Jokes on them, since now, I'm a single, gay-oriented ace in my lower 30s and people look at me so weirdly for not being attracted to men, let alone married with kids. Thanks, I hate it all- especially the shaming and comparisons.

[@LastCrystalTear12]

@@sowe97SAME!! Lol, sike, it’s the asexuality and general disdain for other people 🤣🤣

[@EbyTheDragon]

Perspective on indoctrination: I grew up in an extreme conservative Christian fundamentalist home. Homeschooled, my only socialization until 13 was the church and church groups. And then it was a homeschool PE group full of kids from a similar background, and swim lessons where i didn't get to know any of the kids, only my instructors who would later become my coworkers. At 15 i started my first job as a lifeguard and swim instructor which was my first real exposure to non-Christians. For the first year, i didn't even know how to talk to anyone. At 16, the purity culture upgraded to the next level. I'd always been taught abstinence if my parents had to talk about sex, or that all men are sexual predators. I was given a purity ring, which was to be worn on my left ring finger like an "engagement to God". That summer, i had a 29 year old coworker inquire what the ring was, i explained, and the next three months he attempted to groom me. It made me a target. I didn't realize until a few years ago that that was what he was doing, because at that age, i thought that's how all men were. I'd already spent a year and a half being sexually harassed by men in their 70s and 80s, so it was a relief to me that someone only twice my age would take interest in me, even though what he was doing was so much more insidious than old men making gross comments about my body... i was just too naive at the time to understand just how insidious it was. Then at 18 my parents threatened to kick me out if i didn't go to an indoctrination school called Word of Life Bible Institute. Some "fun" information about this school: they are Title 9 exempt, meaning they are allowed to discriminate against LGBTQ+, they engage in conversion therapy, and if that isn't successful, they kick you out before the end of the school year, even two days before the end to make sure they don't have any gays graduating, they are notoriously racist, though i didn't witness this first hand because I'm too introverted to meet people, and the one black guy i did meet is white-passing, but being familiar with the culture I fully believe it to be true, and lastly they call themselves an accredited college, but they a, aren't, and b, couldn't be if they tried since they exclusively teach theology, biblical history, open air evangelism, missionary work, and ministry, and nothing else. So i go to this school because i can't afford to live on my own, meet this guy (the one i mentioned above), who has 13 girls all wrapped around his finger because he's incredibly charismatic, attractive, and convincingly pretends to care. He tried to convince all of them to date him. I was the one he ended up with, though he convinced me he "chose" me over all the rest, when in reality, i was the only one naive enough to not see through the facade. As soon as we started dating, he began pressuring me into engaging sexually which i had genuinely no interest in (i would figure out in about 10 years that I'm on the ace spectrum). We would eventually get caught, falsely imprisoned by the school for 3 days (phones and laptops taken away, despite we were adults, locked in our dorm rooms at night, locked in the dean's office during the day for interrogations about what we did, and HOW MANY TIMES???? Being forced to call our parents and tell them what we did, even though i told them my home life was emotionally abusive), and finally kicked out. It would be many years before i came to terms with the fact that he had just ignored my "no's" and that it hadn't been consensual or my fault. I went to live with my still fundamentalist aunt instead of my parents. The guy called and harassed me every day for two months until i finally caved in and agreed to date him again. I had grown up being told that if you have pre-marital sex, you're damaged goods, and no one would ever love you again. So i went back to the guy who had done the damage because trauma bonding. I moved 1600 miles to be with him, which meant i had no support system. I wanted to wait years before we got married, but he beat me over the head (figuratively and literally) until i gave in, and we got married just a few months after i moved. He would physically and sexually assault me multiple times before we got married, and he would blame it on me, and a lifetime of indoctrination made me believe it was my fault. We would get married, and it would continue to get worse. I got pregnant because he refused to let me get on birth control. He wouldn't let me get an abortion from a doctor and came up with his own bs home abortion, which i didn't want to do because i didn't trust it. He forced me to do it, and when i was still upset about it an hour later, he forced me to purge. When i told him I was bi, he thought that was the best thing because that meant he could have another girlfriend. I knew i didn't get on with the girl he picked, but i was conditioned to know that arguing resulted in abuse, so i just did the best i could. They both liked each other more than me, and when i pointed out the fact that they made very obvious, I was the problem and had to be "punished". He would eventually sexually assault me and my best friend, and force me to sexually assault her, just to turn around and tell our girlfriend that I had "cheated" on her, and for that i had to be "punished". I left them a few months later as the physical and sexual assaults became ever worse, and i started fearing for my life. He strategically saved the worst abuse for when our girlfriend was absent so she would continue to believe his lies that I was crazy, and what she saw was "punishment" for "acting out/crazy". But none of this would have happened if I'd had a comprehensive sex education that taught me about consent and what a healthy relationship should look like. I wouldn't have a child who's being indoctrinated into the same set of beliefs. I could have come out as bi, ace, and agender so much sooner and started living my life authentically as who I've always known myself to be even when i didnt have the language to describe it. Purity culture ruins lives

[@nessy.18]

I am so incredibly sorry that this all happened to you. You were so young and went through a lot of abuse, i hope you are in a much better place now and far away from all of those horrible people!!! I dont know you but i send you strength and peace ❤❤❤️

[@xkrc06x69]

my heart breaks for your stories and every story like yours ❤ I was brought up in a conservative environment, and the parts of this indoctrination I related to were both a connecting shared experience, but also fuelled my empathy further for the rest of your experience. sending love and peace from another ex-right wing Christian turned bi and loved person ❤️❤️❤️

[@Zaddy-Lu]

I bet "women are encouraged to separate themselves from their children" is referring to daycare, preschool, and all elementary, middle, and high schools, because they believe all children should be homeschooled.

[@Angelface11]

Many should. Sone need school to get away from abuse. But school isn't a good place

[@ayelmqo]

Typically they think children are below them, it’d be god, husband, themselves then children. They usually see children as lesser than

[@apathybronson]

​@@Angelface11yeah and that's why countries where people are easily able to homeschool are so peaceful and support everyone. Parents aren't teachers.

[@m0L3ify]

My mom thought like this. Not only did she think preschools were awful because they took children out of the home and forced them to grow up too fast, but she was also so staunchly against busing for integration that she moved our family to a new town after the Diaz Rule was instituted in San Jose in the 80's because she didn't want her children taken from their home neighborhood just to mix with "the yellow ones and the black ones" even though the rule was about education disparity in the Mexican American population. My sister and I were only in elementary school (the rule only applied to High Schools) but she was like "nope, we're not sticking around for this to happen years from now. No one's taking my babies away from me!" At least she didn't home school us, although she was capable since she used to be a school teacher. It would have made life a lot harder for us, tho. Of course, she was only really against preschool until my little sister came along and was a major handful, and then my mom was like "yes! preschool! take her!! I need a break!" That definitely shattered part of her idyllic illusions about 'perfect parenting' lol

[@kaitlynmorgan4613]

@@Angelface11 yeah but the commenter is just explaining what girl defined meant by that quote. the commenter isnt saying anything of "kids should/shouldnt be homeschooled"

[@isapheonix]

Did anyone else get the I can't be racist because I have a black friend vibe from their "we have friends who have been assaulted so we can't be judgemental" response?

[@Chelle8847]

It's usually "I CAN be racist cos I have a black friend..." not "I *can't* be racist cos I have a black friend" lol, your comment confused me a bit lol, but then again it's not hard to confuse me haha! 😅

[@isapheonix]

@Chelle8847 no I mean they claim they aren't racist because they have a black friend despite saying horribly racist things and acting like a racist person. They hid behind the black friend they supposedly have who is probably more of an acquaintance who tolerates them lmao

[@lilyivey5933]

@@Chelle8847 I will say I have literally never heard anyone say that they "can be racist" because of the race of the friends but only ever that they "cannot" be racist because they have friends of a specific demographic that would fit their argument. perhaps people say it more often where you live?

[@DelaneyB.444]

Yep. Really grossed me out as a survivor.

[@annjepsen1621]

​@@DelaneyB.444Same, it's like when you try to explain your trauma to someone who's never experienced it before and they say "Oh yeah, I was whistled at on the street so I *totally get it!"* 🙄

[@ufos-cos]

Marriage is not mandatory. Purity is not mandatory. Kids are not mandatory. Do you queens 🙌

[@angrydoggi]

Tbh im half asleep and misread the last sentance as 'Drag queens are mandatory' and was abt to agree so hard

[@CallmeMelinanow]

Hello, Swoop! My name is Jana, and I’m a 49 year old ex cult member, who loves your content. I think you are an amazing example of a confident, talented woman, with very informed, and unique viewpoints. Thank you for this. These girls may be victims, too, but they’re perpetuating the abuse by not addressing it, and keeping the videos up. Keep creating, and I’ll keep supporting you. ❤

[@ponderful98]

Hello fellow ex-cult member 💁‍♂️

[@pineapplegirl8078]

Which cult?

[@valloriebarnes9800]

Hey! Me too!

[@nancybetters6243]

What cult?

[@NikitaJha-sm4rj]

Cult 😶

[@chaoticoverdrive27]

“We don’t want to ‘waste’ our most fertile years” … I don’t want kids. I want a job that fulfills my dream of helping the planet. Nothing wrong with having kids obviously but that’s not the path I want. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@slavbarbie]

They actually think that the only thing a woman has to contribute to this world is giving birth.

[@britterthecritter4531]

Same! Went to college, in my early 20’s working full time in a career I love, while also being religious. Funny because in the Bible, Paul made it clear that marriage and reproduction were no longer part of God’s purpose for us; but to follow in Jesus’ footsteps. Yes, family is a beautiful thing, but it is no longer our sole purpose on this Earth. Girl Defined doesn’t even follow their own religion properly… Jesus befriended and defended tax collectors and prostitutes. They just follow a misogynistic rhetoric and use the Bible to cover it up…

[@alim.9801]

Yeah calling it a "waste" just...kinda sucks honestly. It's a sucky thing of them to say

[@shadowpoet4398]

Leave birthing to those who truly desire to make a family. Stressed out people who are simply stuck with it end up making horrible experiences those kids will take into adulthood and potentially pass it on to their kids. My wife can no longer have kids, physically. I'm not equipped to properly raise kids and neither is she. We're the aunt and uncle with 2 kitties and two jobs. No judgment here, by ANY means. Also, HOLY SHIT, THATS SWOOP'S REAL HAIR?! HOLY CRAP! 😱💓

[@tretre3892]

Don't ever let anyone tell you that you have to procreate. I'm 46 married with no kids of my own, why? The negative reasons outweighed the positive in my life. Absolutely no regrets! Be proud of yourself for realizing you're not mom material now. Maybe you'll change your mind someday maybe you won't, but who cares it's your choice! ❤

[@SupaDupaFlyGirl]

Fun fact: Millennial marriages are doing very well (that stat of 50% ending in divorce is false, we have a great success rate mwahaha) because we wait until we are older + make better choices in marrying the RIGHT person 😍 Married 9 years here, together for 13 - marriage is the flipping best if you choose wisely + treat kindly.

[@ookamiblade6318]

50% of marriage end in divorce statistic is true, but most of those marriages are being done by a small cohort of people who marry multiple times. Someone who marries once and stays together for life counts once towards one marriage that does not end in divorce, where as a person who marries and then divorces counts as a marriage that ends in divorce. The thing is they're pretty likely to marry again, and divorce again (especially men) and if they marry again they're even more likely to divorce again. Which means that one person can account for 3 or more marriages that end in divorce. Also women are more likely to file for divorce, but the leading cause is still infidelity of the husband and the no fault divorce just allows the women to leave without having to say hire a PI to provide proof of that infidelity, going to court, etc which both cost money. More often than not the woman has grounds for a more contentious divorce she just chooses to make it easier on everyone. Kind of weird how they always try to frame this as women not being committed to the marriage anymore.

[@KaelaBriana]

"When two sheltered girls put themselves further into the shelter" girl 💀💀💀💀

[@ArDeeMee]

That’s so on point….

[@alepolait8951]

Friendly reminder that Bethany actually "wasted her most fertile years", she got panic married at 30 years old to a guy 7 years younger than her (just worth mentioning, because she met him when he was 16/17). She didn't work, or went to college. She wasted her "most fertile years" spreading harmful purity culture on the internet while living with her wealthy parents. Just a treasure all around.

[@Frogginnator]

For 25. years I was "trauma bonded" to my abuser. Only now I can see the red flags. this relationship started when I was 18. Now at 43 and after having a child with him, being a single mom, except when he had to show off my daughter (I say my daughter because unless forced or showing off that he is a "good father" he has had nothing to do with her.). March 24 I finally blocked him on everything and told him off. So for 2 months I have been free. Im still lost and don't know who I am. Because my who adult life my identity was with him. I can say im a survivor but that's it at this point.

[@isabelsmith]

you are so strong and i’m so proud of you for making it thru that relationship! you still have so much life to live and so much time to find yourself ❤ i hope you and your daughter have a beautiful and enjoyable life without him 🎉

[@jeannetterw]

My Mum keeps insisting I'm gay because I watch drag race despite being married for 25 years with a 20yo son.

[@madih7270]

LOLLL???

[@SkyeSoleil]

I mean, it’s not uncommon for gay people to be married to the opposite gender and have children. My friend’s dad came out when my friend was in their early 20s and divorced their mom shortly after. Last I heard he’s in a long term committed relationship with a man That being said, watching Drag Race doesn’t make someone gay 😂

[@jeannetterw]

@@madih7270 Yeah my Mum fully thinks if you see gay, you are gay. One of those. Sounds pretty gay to me and I'm convinced she's projecting.

[@SoCalJellybean]

@@jeannetterwOh, she’s 100% projecting!

[@justkiddin84]

@@jeannetterw maybe you should ask her! At the very least it might get her to stop telling you that silliness.😂

[@strawberryskygirl44]

as someone who grew up in a very religious household before I made the decision to not be religious anymore... it really annoys me when people like Girl Defined continue to do the exact OPPOSITE of what the Bible tells them to do

[@nor_skor]

The religious trauma is so real

[@VibinJivin]

so well said. they cause and spread incredible pain, misery, confusion. they are the opposite of God's love.

[@Sassafrass95]

Don't forget treating the bible like god him/herself wrote the book when it was actually written by old men who used it to control woman and convert others to do horrible things under the name of religion

[@maddiemcnugget1076]

@@Sassafrass95that’s interesting. I’ll have to look into that more mainly because you’re a random person on the internet but I think asking questions like that are good for deconstruction of faith. So far I’ve deconstructed a fair amount but like sciences, deconstruction come with asking questions that are generally regarded as true.

[@strawberryskygirl44]

@@VibinJivinthey're actually WORSE than the people that are supposed to be "in the world," as they put it 😭

[@toniprekker]

Thank you for the discussion on trauma bonding and "consent" not always being consent. I was in an awful relationship for close to three years. I always "consented" (or at least didn't object) to things, but always felt like something about it was very wrong. I've been single for 11 years now, and am only beginning to understand that part of the ab*se I suffered.

[@Politoed89]

i want girl defined to go on the fresh & fit podcast and give us the ultimate "misogyny vs internalized misogyny" showdown

[@laurapardy8297]

💀

[@lisadgingersnaps9843]

OMG, I would totally watch that. 😂

[@krisl6537]

Fresh and fit are no longer a thing, maybe the whatever podcast, those dudes are tools that think they can hide ignorance with inspirational background music 😂

[@donttalktomeyoureannoying8736]

Fresh and fit are too busy blaming Cassie for getting beat up by P Diddy

[@moustik31]

Lol, they are too racist for that! Wasnt one of their ancestor a nazi? I think, I saw a Fundie Friday video about him.

[@randocalrissian347]

It has taken all of my 50 years to break the religious oppression I grew up in/around. The shame and guilt we are taught to feel literally makes people sick. Having a daughter myself I can not imagine trying to tell her that her place in life is to submit to a man and that her body is not solely her own. Thank you for discussing this.

[@aeronsimpson4481]

You asked about moms separating themselves from their children… I do encourage other moms to allow themselves to be autonomous people separate from being a mom. Because I lost my entire identity in being a mom and I had no idea who I was when I divorced. And it almost killed me with my own hand. So, yeah, I absolutely believe moms should have a fulfilling life experience that doesn’t include their children and partners. We’re allowed fulfillment outside our houses. But I’m preaching to the choir.

[@johnyoowrites]

Religion shouldn’t be used as a tool to promote hate or control how others live. It also shouldn’t be forced on others, whether beliefs or principles. This is why people are leaving religion, specifically Christianity en masse.

[@intermediateingrid5746]

Sadly it's the main reason I turned atheist.

[@charissa6648]

That's kind of absurd. Whether athiest or Christian, you shouldn't allow the actions of others to dictate what you do or do not believe. You cannot blame people, as absurd and ridiculous as they may seem. Giving up on religion or taking up religion should be your responsibility. It's just illogical to say that people leave a religion not because of the teachings or God, but because of other people who claim to follow the same religion say things you dislike. I know ppl do affect us. Not saying that. But to believe or not to believe is your choice, making that choice based upon 3rd parties seems ridiculous.

[@Sassafrass95]

@@charissa6648 Actually it's not absurd.... you clearly have not had to deal with deepcore Christians treating you like garbage if you so much as step one TOE out of line and make you feel like trash for wanting more for yourself other then to fit one solid role that their religion states you should have

[@kina8575]

Making decision of a third-party when so many call themselves Christians and then they bash so many people who are just gay or trans or maybe cross-dressing and then the racism I’ve seen and witnessed and the abuse I’ve seen a witness so you can say you want, but if I call myself Christian now I cringe because there’s too many Christians. I know we’re abusive horrible people, so yeah as a whole, I am not a Christian anymore

[@kina8575]

@@intermediateingrid5746me too ❤

[@nikicrowe2768]

I didn’t walk, I ran here!! “Don’t want to waste our most fertile years”. Ugh. I’m already triggered by these 2

[@clandestine_cat]

Yo same

[@jessiek3500]

Literally so disgusting

[@jannettb7930]

Omg that phrase brought me down here to rant. How does one 'waste' their fertile years by working? Are those hours ones you would otherwise be getting impregnated? Isn't your husband also working those hours? 🙄 I guess we can be thankful she didn't use the word Ripe

[@LadyDelSangue87]

When I got pregnant with my daughter at the age of 37 and went to the OBGYN, they labeled the pregnancy a "geriatric" pregnancy and I honestly felt a bit shamed like I was "too old" to be having kids...I do realize that scientifically there are fertile years, but putting such an emphasis on it can be hurtful, implying that once you hit 35 you are basically old as dirt lol

[@LadyDelSangue87]

On top of this, when my water broke a month early, it felt like the ER was judging me too like "this happened because you are too old to be having kids"

[@megamovieman101]

My dog was gay lol. Buddy was never fixed because he had a liver disease and the anesthesia would’ve killed him, so we knew we’d have to keep an eye on him around other dogs. What we didn’t expect was that he had no interest in female dogs beyond playing with them. But a male dog up the street named Spyke… oh, boy, did Buddy like him… 😅 if you know what I’m saying… Spyke crossed the rainbow bridge a few years ago, and Buddy did just last month. I miss those two horndogs lol

[@KiboSanti]

My friend's cat is absolutely, undeniably feminine. She had to be neutered instead of spayed, but is, for all the world, a girl cat.

[@MagnoliaPantherWoman]

Trixie said it so well. She's spot on and very clear. I'll add that cosplay is also dress up. Acting is dress up. Drag is empowering, as are cosplay and acting. Watching or participating, they're fun.

[@maddiemcnugget1076]

As a Christian, I always got good vibes from her. And her take was really good and well worded even though she didn't expect "the Christians" to find her (though she is appealing to an American audience, you are bound to have a Christian in your midst)

[@virgofairy88]

I love Trixie-I’ve been a Drag Race fan for a long time. I also love dressing up as characters in shows-it’s acting and there’s nothing more empowering than dancing and singing while dressed up as Santa Claus in a musical.

[@breakingtheicepogo]

Kristen calling me a sham is the perfect validation I need to *know* that I’m on the right road

[@ByeByeBelly]

I'm a married Christian mother SHAM.. I have my own money

[@breakingtheicepogo]

@@ByeByeBelly yessssss get that bag!!!!!

[@carlyholmes7993]

I've been known to say that I had Catholicism shoved down my throat as a child. It has made me a person who holds a set of beliefs instead of a religion. What bothers me most with RELIGION is the intolerance for difference. In a petty way, I hope my old church members see me and gasp - I am who I am, who I want to be, and you didn't wear me down. I survived you.

[@ReturnToSenderz]

As somebody with a degree, let me tell you that I wasn’t ready to be pumping out kids in my early 20s. I used that time to learn more about the world and who I wanted to be within it, and I’m a better parent now because of it.

[@OneDoodlingBug]

People involved in purity culture r more obsessed with "the big s" than those not involved in it. They make it define them.

[@quantumkitty128]

It's truly horrifying how shameful these faiths make girls feel 🤦🏻‍♀️ so much ick, it makes my stomach curdle.

[@rosemarie-graceorr1825]

It’s not the faith, it’s these dumb interpretations of it. Real Christian’s know Jesus hung with prostitutes and all the kind of people that people like this like to act like he hated. He may not have agreed with their lifestyle but he never shamed them for it. And for dumb bitches like this to lay so much importance on virginity like it gives women more value, or to shame women for not waiting, in the name of God frustrates the life out of me. Purity culture is a cancer to Christianity! I say this as a Christian, pastor’s daughter and former missionary.

[@britterthecritter4531]

How THEIR form of faith makes girls feel. Christianity is meant to UPLIFT women, it was revolutionary because women were no longer expected to marry and reproduce to “fulfill God’s purpose”, but to follow Jesus’ footsteps- married or not. When Jesus resurrected, the first people he saw and told to spread his word were women. And he told us to not judge, he befriended snd defended tax collectors and prostitutes. These fundies are the actual worst depictions of Christianity 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[@lifeofatruckerswife]

Its great seeing larger channels covering these two... I am a Christian who lives in Texas... .we aren't all like these two.. these two are dangerous to young girls, amd new christian women. Not all of us hold so much hate in our hearts for people.. not all of us victim blame s.a survivors....we aren't all trans/homophobic.. (seems a lot of these so called christians have conveniently forgotten that Jesus said... love everyone....he didn't omit others...and he didn't stutter) A lot of us are just trying to do the best we can out here... As a texas Christian woman....WE DON'T CLAIM THESE TWO

[@kaitlinmilbourn8653]

Texas Christian here too- we do not claim them!

[@nope2075]

Responding to the section at 41:50 in the video: My aunt was one person who comes to mind when you speak of this. She was in an abusive, mentally manipulative, sexually abusive marriage for 25 years. When she did ask for help, her sister (my mom) got her a lawyer and helped her get a divorce and restraining order. I remember my aunt kept changing her mind and saying “no, it’s okay. He apologized.” And this happened for 25 yrs. She couldn’t get herself out mentally or physically. When the divorce was final, she spent 10 yrs drinking herself to death bc she didn’t tell us he was still coming around and beating on her and stealing her money out of her account. We lived in different cities. I wish she told me. So, yes, you can r*pe your spouse. My uncle r*ped my aunt during their entire marriage. 😢😭

[@moustik31]

💔😢

[@Live4theblacknote]

I am a Christian, but don’t recognize Girl Defined in myself, my mom, my grandma, or especially my daughter. I got married in 1998 but had the “obey” section removed from my vows. As I told my fiancé at the time, I would never say that because I didn’t want to lie in church. Still happy 25 years later, and my hubby has shared my dreams and helped me persue my goals to the point where I earned 2 Masters degrees in my field. When we decided to have a child, due to my MS my hubby always took the night shift so I got plenty of rest. If you marry, marry your best friend and always support each other to live the life you both dreamed of!

[@thetomlette7720]

Watching now. Please take care of yourself Swoop - remember that Valid ribcage applies to you too. You are so very loved. (Team, please relay this message to her on behalf of us. Thank you. ❤)

[@Dirtyhwood]

💜

[@sngray11]

💯%! 🫶🏽

[@VA_MamaBear]

Agreed 100%. Thank you for this. We love you, Swoop! Take care of our badass queen, please!

[@VerdeeMusic]

As a happily married person, I find the sentiments of these people offensive, because they cheapen marriage by making it sound like a bunch of things it isn't: marriage doesn't solve you, it isn't a shortcut to fulfillment, it isn't about sex, it isn't proof of love or compatibility or even protection, and it doesn't tell you who you are. It took me a long time and a lot of experiences in bad and even good relationships with other people to recognize and appreciate what I found with my husband, and he feels the same way. That said, there is not only one kind of marriage, there are as many kinds as there are people, but if I had to marry the first person I wanted to have sx with, I'd be miserable too.

[@triloization]

I hope Swoop is OK and she can heal. Idk what to say. She is such a strong person and hearing that she has to go through all of that breaks my heart. A digital hug with tons of love goes out.

[@lorilane32]

Just thought I would point out that in order to be damaged goods, one would have to be considered ‘goods’, as in merchandise or possessions,to begin with. You aren’t merchandise.

[@maddiemcnugget1076]

100%, we are not items, we are human beings, but as I continue to dive into feminism in all it's facets, I am starting to realize... did we ever know how to value people outside of being "beneficial to us"? Like we normalize transactional language when talking about people and believing in "tit for tat". I think as humans, human kindness should have elements of "tit for tat", but also elements of "pass it down" without the expectation of something nice back. Example: going out for food with a friend. You offer to pay this time with the understanding your friend will get you next time (tit for tat). While waiting in the drive through, the person in front of you pays for you and your friend's order, so you choose to "pass down the kindness" by paying for the next person's meal.

[@eryaviel]

The fact that Swoop is able to handle all of these topics with such grace and sensitivity is everything. Especially with everything she's personally experienced firsthand. I'm so impressed with this doc and so of your content. Much love to Swoop and the team who brings these docs to life!

[@animefantastic9705]

You know. People would be a MILLION times happier if they stop focusing on and judging how other people choose to live. I'm a Christian and I was taught that it's not my job to judge people. If people aren't living the way you perceive God wants them to live then let God take care of it. He is the only one who can judge. I cannot stand people like this. They are giving Christians a bad name and making us all look insane and judgemental.

[@Sassafrass95]

I'm curious on what your opinion for the Christians who legit think the bible was written by god? As in like the deity himself wrote the book and thus they have to follow every thing in that book to the T to avoid going to hell

[@brady_cll]

Totally came here to say this. People like this, are why people run from religion or any form of personal faith. People have to learn how to allow people to find their own beliefs, respect them and move forward.

[@Shayizzle]

@@Sassafrass95 I personally think that is crazy………

[@maddiemcnugget1076]

As a fellow Christian, I def agree with you and was raised the same way. The thing is, we have to look deeper. Because some denominations are focused on some things over others. Like some are focused on evangelizing which is amazing but is very overwhelming. My denomination is not focused on this. It’s primarily these more outspoken ones that differ from your mentality or my mentality of “not judging”. From what I was taught as a kid, we shouldn’t force religion on people. The Holy Spirit calls people to become more curious about faith and we are supposed to be there when someone asks us about it. Help guide them. Ofc this can be taken to extremes which I dislike like forced conversion. But yeah a lot of people misinterpret “not using God’s name in vain”. Misuse of the Bible is kinda included in that iirc. I think all we can really do is continue being good christian witnesses. Most people know “not all Christians are like this”, but it’s good for us to be representatives in conversations like this.

[@toniwilliams3469]

I concur✊🏾

[@TheRibottoStudios]

Why can't more people irl be like Kurt Wagner when it comes to practicing faith? The man is respectful of others, he lets others be, he doesn't shove his faith in your face, and is incredibly open minded and kind and compassionate and forgiving. He helped other people vs ridicule them. He let others of various faith be. The people who write for Nightcrawler seem to understand the Bible better than most Bible thumpers.

[@SPMunny]

Because unfortunately kindness and understanding doesn’t pay the bills for people like Girl Defined. Now I’m not saying they’re grifters because I think they truly believe what they preach. But let’s be for real they’d rather take money from hateful people and ideas

[@xoxocessa]

It's about power. It's not even about the faith aspect. It's just used as a weapon of power.

[@dangerxbadger2300]

Or Mr Rogers! He was an incredibly devout Presbyterian Minister up to the day he died

[@Cell287]

I rather be Remy Lebeau. A lax dude.

[@maddiemcnugget1076]

I would argue that most people are like him, but we like to chit chat and call attention to the annoying ones that are in our face. Not that it's a bad thing, we should be calling out people who are annoying (unless you think a person just existing is annoying then that's an internal problem with you).

[@miriamiuricich6636]

They need to read history. Many medieval women joined convents to live independently from men. Also many widowed noblewomen entered convents without taking full vows,to escape being controlled by their sons and to keep their wealth.

[@oliviar9808]

Her dog acts like a 'girl' dog.. what does that mean?!? She does the dishes and mops the floors? 🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

[@malanenix4033]

🤣

[@ByeByeBelly]

All my female dogs have humped stuff, and only the female ones 🤔

[@Acinnn]

​@@ByeByeBelly our female dog, on a few occasions tried to hump our leg as well.

[@minkg8178]

I have had a few dogs over the years, mostly rescues. Two males had very strong parental instincts and loved looking after puppies. One female that had a litter before she lived with me, loathed puppies. Tbf she loathed most dogs and preferred them at a distance apart from my elderly Jack Russell. I had another female dog that acted more typically male (as much as dogs do, which isn't much). Oh and if you go for a walk in the country it's not unusual to see cows getting romantic with each other. Yes I mean cows, not bulls and cows 😂. Oh and in my back yard I have a pair of male blackbirds that have set up home together. I've seen them chase away at least one female blackbird. Nature is pretty comfortable with being gay and gender fluid.

[@Kimmehface]

They are a perfect example of the blind leading the blind…

[@celestialspartan1176]

To me, they’re wolves in sheep’s clothing.

[@AutoPilate]

They’re worse than that; they’re the blind blinding others.

[@celestialspartan1176]

@@AutoPilate who make all those red pill podcast bros smile with glee. Disgusting. 🤮🤮🤮

[@cherylreaves253]

I think I speak for many of us. We love Swoop and we’re here for her whenever she’s ready. I hope whoever messed with her gets their karmetic ass kicked, just saying. Anyway, sending Ms. Swoop blessings and healing vibes, and her videos are so good we can watch reruns for a bit!!

[@bleukettu4521]

When a friend was jumped and assaulted on her way home from work, she called me and I took her to the police department and a detective literally asked what she was wearing. I gave her clothes when I picked her up because that man (who was a coworker of ours) had ripped most of her clothes off her body. She was wearing scrubs when it happened.

[@mipsan]

there was an exhibition of real outfits women were wearing when they were assaulted and most of them were big ugly hoodies and jogging pants. If someone is looking for a victim they 100% won't care what they are wearing.

[@RachelBenedetti]

It's not so much that Purity Culture teaches that to be fulfilled, women need to get married. It is that it teaches that the PURPOSE of a woman is to be the support for her husband, take care of the home, and - most importantly - HAVE BABIES! Girls are literally taught that the purpose of women is procreation. I have seen women become horribly depressed and feel completely worthless because they have fertility problems (even if the issue is with HIM and not HER). It is disgusting, and so horrifically harmful, I cannot even begin. I am still working through the religious trauma regarding this.

[@desiraebates9781]

“You keep moving the goal posts and I don’t know how to play the game.” YAS. Yes. 🙌🏻 and that’s literally my experience with “the church”

[@sarahwatson3192]

“We know and are close to people who were assaulted” gives off the same vibes as “I can’t be racist I have a ____ friend!” Im a survivor of SA and R… what I went through was horrible and I still suffer from PTSD from it. It doesn’t make me damaged goods. It makes me a complex human with complex emotions and a complex past. Also as a bisexual I can say the agenda is real.. it’s not sneaky… unless forgetting how to teach bisexuals how to recognize flirting is sneaky. But I can reveal the agenda does include taco Tuesday.

[@scelesteregina]

Lmao recognising flirting is a superpower we were not blessed with 😂

[@bamaQT99]

Hell yeah! Proud to be from a very long line of “SHAMS!” The OG Great Granny was a pilot in the WAC in Ww1, Grand Memaw, an army Nurse in WW2 and Korea. Grand Nana raised her siblings in the depression, put herself through school raising her own 3 kids became a nurse. My Mom became a Fire fighter/paramedic and eventually became the first woman Captain in her department. All the while raising kids, being a military wife, coach, and active in the PTA. My sister is earning her doctorate in education and I am a flight nurse. If we are “Shams”, so be it, but I am so proud of the women in my family! And guess what we all had/have struggles, divorces, and failures. We also have great joy and success,, but I wouldn’t change a thing.

[@KelseyDrummer]

Your family sounds badass!

[@dompaine]

I was raised in a religion, ran by my Grandfather, that taught women they were responsible for the sin of the men around them. We were constantly told that if our elbows or knees showed, we were sinful, and causing good men to stumble. It wasn't until the last 5 years that I've started to realize how ridiculous that was, and how harmful that religious upbringing was to me, as an undiagnosed autistic.

[@kiterafrey]

Victims don't want to be victims. And that shame and reaction is what continues the cycle. Example, I faced CSA and I reported that family member to protect my mother and brother from them. I had to, at 5, testify in open court in detail. It was so traumatizing it is the ONLY thing I actually remember from my younger childhood. That, and (as part of that trauma), that for years after, multiple people in our high demand religion shamed me for "seducing an adult," and that shame led to other members also committing CSA on me saying, "No one will ever believe you twice." And, sadly, they were right, no one will ever believe you twice. Bethy's mom is so toxic and she is creating a space that lets PDFiles (censoring best I can) thrive.

[@Samantha-gu6by]

My dog passed away last night right after I came home from college. I think she was waiting for the whole family to be together for when she goes. We're all missing her so much already, she was a gorgeous life long partner of 11 years, a beautiful german shepherd. Your video is somehow making me laugh, and feel somewhat normal. I've watched so many of your videos, and I'm so happy to be able to watch videos of my favourite creators even during such a hard time. Your documentaries are amazing, Swoop, and I hope you know how much you impact the people who watch them in such positive ways with your witty humour, your gentle take on sensitive topics, and your pure pettiness rage at injustices! I never comment on KZbin videos but I wanted to do so here today. I love you all, take care of yourselves everyone. Life can be so hard but we'll all get through it. It's the journey that counts. To Foxy, my beautiful German Shepherd. I love you so much and we're waiting for you to come back home to us. I hope you're resting peacefully, and I prey you loved your life long home with us and will do for the rest of all our lives.

[@greentigress]

Aww baby Foxy ❤ hope she is at peace!

[@AWake-px1hd]

I’m so very sorry. I know that feeling all too well. It rips out your heart and soul. RIP to your sweet friend. 💔

[@lilys7431]

Oh my heart aches for you, animals hold a special place in our lives. Glad she got to wait for you. Wishing you comfort for your broken heart.

[@niilsaa]

I am so, so sorry for your loss. Zero words can describe that horrible, empty feeling once our babies leave us. :( Foxy sounds like a wonderful companion and beautiful pup, and I have no doubt that she has become your guardian angel. I’m glad you have swoop as a distraction, I lost my baby girl 7 months ago and I’m still ruined by it. I couldn’t even cry for the first 4 months - I was in emotional turmoil (still am) but having brilliant creators to watch like swoop makes it a little easier. I completely understand where you’re coming from, it’s so goddamn difficult. Rest in Peace to your precious Foxy, she sounds like such a gorgeous girl. Sending all my love to you ❤

[@laurenreinhold7266]

Sending my love

[@amiebabineau1418]

90% of the time, when an evangelical woman says she “owns a business,” she’s actually doing sales for some horrible MLM.

[@ChairmanChico]

This is the first time I’ve heard the Girl Defined Girls described as lolcows…. I’m here for this. I hope you’re taking some time for yourself to heal. ❤

[@dr.tanyajay4473]

We take children to pantomimes every Christmas in England, where men perform in drag. Nobody finds it offensive.

[@erinfindsen4953]

Often, local celebrities, am I right?

[@novalinnhe]

The weird thing is that there is actually quite a lot of anti-LGBT sentiment in the UK, but nobody seems to make the connection between all the fun of the Christmas panto and drag shows. I've said to myself for ages that drag is just panto for the other 364 days of the year! Haha :)

[@rachelhatchet]

Not me thinking that swoops intro about abstinence was going to lead in to her saying "which is exactly what these women's parents should have done!".😂😂😂

[@DelaneyB.444]

As someone who’s survived religious abuse/ trauma; Thank you so much for covering this topic Swoop. I remember how their videos reminded me of my trauma and made me relive it. You covered it more thorough then any other creator I’ve seen and I really appreciate how you help so many affected by those who you cover with your platform. Sending so much love ❤️

[@airypersiflage]

Thank you to Swoop's team for producing / completing the projects that were underway. Swoop, hope you are receiving the care, help, love & healing you deserve. I'm so devastated that this year has been such hell. TAKE YOUR TIME, FRIEND.

[@massnavii]

I was abused as a child. I never felt damaged s*xually, I felt nothing until I got away. Now I just feel anger and sadness-he took something from me that I will never get back. He ruined relationships. I did nothing wrong.

[@CAS11236]

Calling SA a difficult “season” to walk through is craaaaazy. As someone who has gone through it more than once, this is something you live with.

[@donttalktomeyoureannoying8736]

I think it’s different for everyone. I was raped but it hasn’t psychologically impacted me as much as losing my mother to cancer, now that made me want to die

[@kimberleighstark6960]

Your content is freakin awesome!!! As a woman who is turning (omg) 60 in September, you are helping me heal and understand things… if you’re doing that for me, I can only imagine how much you are helping the younger ones out there in this crazy world!!! Thank you and please keep doing you!!! You are inspiring and incredible!!!! 🙏🏽💜💋💋💋💋

[@lisadgingersnaps9843]

Virgos rule! ✌🏼❤️

[@celesteduplessis3028]

Hey Swoop, did you see Zelp on the Shelf's newest collab with Bethany and Dav? It's honestly so sweet and heartwarming. It's so valid to keep Bethany (and Girl Defined) accountable for all of the harmful rhetoric they have spewed, however, you can see her make a concerted effort to absorb other people's perspectives and mould her worldview. She might even become an ally? A lot of former fundamentalist Christians see their stories played out in real-time with Bethany, we're all products of our environments (to some degree or another) but she has done a radical amount of change in a short amount of time.

[@KassidyKennedy1]

The way I RAN to this video after I saw your comment. Omg. Why is no one talking about this? The video made me cry. Bethany has grown so much 🥺. Thank you for sharing this!

[@olbugg]

My thoughts and love for Swoop as she recovers and heals.I hope the perpertrator of this assault is held accountable

[@badgamer8030]

As someone of a Christian faith, people like this really sadden me. Our religion is entirely built around being kind to others, no matter if our belief systems allign. Spreading hate and anger isn't going to help anyone, not you, not the person you are hating.

[@kaysimatherly5715]

Seriously!! God is love. But they seem to forget that.

[@angelagrant9163]

All of this is learned behavior. It's so very disturbing and disappointing that this behavior and beliefs still remain within the Christian society. There continues to be tons of Bible beaters and narrow minded thinking among people such as these. Swoop, my deepest thoughts for you and know that you are loved❤ Keep trying to move forward in your own way and power through with healing❤ Love you and your channel ❤ Thx for everything you do 😊😊

[@brendanbeanparker5302]

But abstaining from sex before marriage is something the Bible does instruct Christians to do. I don’t judge the world on my faith, but if someone calls themselves a Christian, they should try to obey those instructions. If they’re not a Christian, this does not apply to them. Although I believe, even secularly, monogamy is the best option. And you should commit to a lifelong partner.

[@kaysimatherly5715]

@@brendanbeanparker5302 Butt that’s the thing about the Bible, not everything is to be taken so literal. And it was written during a time where they lived completely different. Abstaining from sex until marriage isn’t for you or anyone of us to judge on. That’s between them and God. No one else.

[@brendanbeanparker5302]

@@kaysimatherly5715, except the Bible has not changed for centuries. People now interpret it to coincide with what brings them pleasure. It’s a selfish interpretation, and far from the character of God.

[@caroline.4034]

46:17 funny thing about dogs: My moms dog is biologically a female dog but sometimes she pees just like a male dog would do. I thinks dogs just don't care whether they behave "female" or "male".

[@pearl_b]

IVE NEVER CLICKED A VIDEO SO FAST!!! (Grew up in Christian fundamentalism) EDIT: ok after watching, thank you for your compassion and nuance approaching these topics 💕🫶🏻 loved this!

[@CarolineIronwill]

Me too. So glad Swoop is exposing these two clowns.

[@kina8575]

Same collect so fast

[@MadeOfQuestions]

All fundamentalist religions are dangerous and cult-ish by definition. Fundamental beliefs all but garunetee abuse. How can anyone read what Jesus said and interpret any part as... well, hate people who think differently than you or that it's ok to judge others, is beyond comprehension

[@angelagrant9163]

Same! It was awful and took me many decades to recover, still suffer with it at times. I finally had to let it go.

[@L3N0R4L4N3]

"If Marilyn Monroe was Christian, she wouldn't have unalived herself!" Or, mental health and addiction was something people silently struggled and died from back then way worse than now. Or she was assassinated, depends on who you ask. Either way, making that assertion is ridiculously tone deaf

[@louloudaki_]

much love to you and yours, swoop! take your time and best of luck on your diagnostic journey. thank you for everything you do! i hope you can find some peace and hope among the chaos and trauma. you deserve all the love from those close to you and especially from yourself. you are worthy of everything you tell us we are worthy of. you are a legend, swoop, just like you tell us we are. thank you for all the hope you give us- i hope you can find that hope for yourself too

[@kayceejay1488]

Literally triggered by all of this… being raised in a Pentecostal family I went from having religion shoved down my throat and being made to feel guilt for wanting to be like other girls my age to now having family that speak about how myself and my cousin are going to “hell” because of our life choices. And this is why my husband and I no longer attend a church. We have never been able to find one that loved us for who we are and not what we look like… I just can’t with this. Thank you for bringing light to this darkness that is clearly is not coming from a loving place as the very god they preach about teaches them.

[@Thatcaramelchic]

I am not surprised that when Bethany got married, she started to change her tune as somebody who grew up Christian and has been in community with super religious, sheltered Christian people a lot of time they just lack life experiences are often times extremely naïve to how complicated and gray life can be. They speak with such authority From a place of judgment on situations that they have been sheltered from or will never be in. Then when they get married or God forbid go through any type of real circumstances, suddenly life isn’t as black-and-white as they thought. How about we be compassionate to other peoples circumstances because that is the true Christian way instead of judging things that 9x10 you know nothing about. It looks like she got married and realized waiting for marriage isn’t the “cure all” to a successful marriage that the church makes it out to be. Marriage is hard regardless of if you waited or not.

[@Bree5three]

Love your explanation and understanding, totally agree.

[@moustik31]

And now her husband is deconstructing! Life is definitely not as "black and white" as adults in her life her groomed her into believing. Fundie xtianity sets its regular believers up for failure but it doesnt matter bec. the goal of this cult is to control their believers and control the lives of non-believers through political power. 🙃

[@Thatcaramelchic]

@@Bree5three yeah I know women like her and they genuinely believe that because they waited till marriage and are “pure” men will treat them better and marriage and relationships will just be this walk in the park for them.

[@SadLizardPerson]

I genuinely don't understand how a grown adult can want to constantly be dependent on someone. I mean i get it adulthood is hard but damn, being reliant on someone who sees you pretty much as just a tool for their own satisfaction, hopefully not getting bored of you sounds like a nightmare

[@sunny-mysticc]

I think I speak for most everyone and myself that we will be here when you're ready to come back Swoop whether it be a week or a year we will keep supporting and loving you!!

[@katem5336]

Chronic health conditions can really f up someone’s mental health, coming from one person with a chronic illness to another - so please don’t be ashamed of your struggle…the world is better because you’re in it! I hope you can make a full recovery mentally, physically, and emotionally - no matter how long it takes, I hope for the best for you, Swoop!

[@teenafields7995]

Who you love, how you dress, what you do in private is absolutely nobody's business. The measure of a person in their heart and soul, it's in the sweet and generous manner of how they treat others when no one is looking. New Swoop fan here . I'm blown away by Swoops grace and humor and she has become as necessary as my morning coffee. The best part of waking up os Swoops and coffee in my cup. Peace all!

[@faunsolo]

I'm so sorry you're going through something really rough right now, but thank you for continuing to inform us. Love you, girl. 💜🔷

[@miss1of2]

The idea that a relationship isn't as committed (I.e. valid) if you aren't married just pisses me off so much!! I've been with my partner for 8.5years, we are buying a house together (moving in in less then a month can't wait!!) and are trying for kids. But they think that their 2 years relationship is better than ours cause they got the state and church involved and we didn't?? Mmmmh Kay... We have built a life and grew together for almost a decade. I worked full time putting this man through school and he pulled me out of the depth of depression. But sure... We aren't really committed since we got no rings... It's ridiculous...

[@valolafson6035]

Yes! I've been with my partner for 14 years, and people still tell me I should leave because he hasn't proposed.

[@denotypic1321]

As a random internet stranger, I just wanna say congrats on the house and good luck with the kids!

[@miss1of2]

@@denotypic1321 thank you!!! We got SO LUCKY!!!

[@KelseyDrummer]

Congrats on the house, and good luck on future kiddos!

[@ArDeeMee]

We‘ve been together for 17 years, and 15 of those married. We both agreed that we don’t really need to marry to feel fulfilled, but it just was something we really wanted to do. My sister has been with her current boyfriend for 6 years, and she moved to his country (which is right next to ours, so we aren’t actually that far away, a 10 hour car ride is nothing on a global scale). They are really happy together. You do you. 🙏

[@CroiaTreanor]

Swoop, wishing you all the best on your healing journey! Take as much time as you need

[@bingabangbong]

I'm crying over your high pitched FEEDELY DEE at the 13 min mark 😂 you know it's serious!

[@michelleallred8521]

My Mom (the grandma who raised me) found out I was having S when I was 19 or 20. She said she'd failed raising me. I told her she'd raised me since I was 3 & I don't drink, smoke, do any drugs, so if all I did was have premarital S, she'd absolutely succeeded

[@greenfloatingtoad]

They go "think of the children" is to distract from the abusive pastors

[@mayawoods3314]

This is perfect timing considering the recent graduation speech given by the chiefs kicker

[@JumpCutThis]

Okay I want to have an *HONEST* conversation about this- so he was invited to a catholic university, by a Catholic administration, and his entire speech was espousing his Catholic faith. I am considered Catholic, but after the disgusting behavior exhibited by the entirety of Rome, my faith has all but vanished. However, he didn’t say anything I read or heard that was wild or heretical- at least not as compared to the outrage I’ve seen. He praised his wife and espoused his love and admiration for her, made a point of telling the attendees there’s nothing wrong with aspiring to be a SAHM, called out absentee fathers, and talked quite a bit about Catholic faith. I just don’t understand where this weird disconnect has come from what he said and what people believe he said.

[@roselover411]

Seriously, I just watched Rachel Oates go through that last night so I'm all primed for this too

[@maddiemcnugget1076]

As a Catholic, I love that other Catholics spoke out against him. I think you, me, and most people can agree he mostly used that time to rant on about social changes that he dislikes. Probably because nobody else wants to hear him ranting. Like women having careers *le gasp!* like sir you are paid millions to kick an oval. Calm down. None of these women are threatening your career 😂. Also accusing women of climbing the social ladder and promotions. I came from a secular school. Heck i came from the evil business school and nobody (men, women & other) was thinking that. We’re all just thinking “I wanna make money have a house and exist in this economy 😭”. Maybe 2% were evil greed chasers. So I highly doubt that the women in a Catholic school are thinking about climbing the ranks. I actually don’t think it’s bad to be like “your greatest accomplishment is to be a mother and wife” but you have to dish that energy to the other side. As a society, we have a problem with absent fathers. Tell the men to be good fathers and husbands but nah. Ofc he was like “men don’t listen to the propaganda of today”. Sir you’re the only one with the propaganda. Most of the older men I’ve talked with have noted their greatest accomplishment is being a father and husband as well (well the ones that aren’t divorced). Would’ve been totally cool, not sexist, and Catholic if he dished the energy both ways. Anyway, the nuns associated with the school (interestingly their patron saint is St. Scholastica) said his speech doesn’t align with Catholic values which I agree with.

[@roselover411]

@@maddiemcnugget1076 I gotta say it was the "stay in your lane" part that galled me the most. Saying that to a school full of people with hopes and ambitions to start their lives sounds like you're telling them they're not allowed to be successful, they have to be mediocre because they're not allowed to do anything outside of the predefined box they were born into. Horrendous thing to preach.

[@Talia.Ryn710]

​@@maddiemcnugget1076agreed - Fellow outspoken Catholic

[@CyanidePusher]

As a gay person who can run very fast, i have so many ideas for a gay race 🌈✨

[@EMILY_RACHEL_]

Haha i like this reframing

[@I_am_UpsideDown]

SWOOP... the side bars were unreal... your intellectual analysis is so spot on and so well thought out it astounds me. Thank you for not being a ''run of the mill'' creator. My mind is rejuvenated, breaking from mindless prattle and insignificant content we're subjected to, every time you deliver such well researched and presented works of art. Get Well, Stay Strong and Petty... Thank you. We Love You.

[@madz9992]

I am so happy you are covering this culture- I grew up in it and am still suffering from the effects. Thank you for handling it with care ❤

[@KarrierBag]

Oh am actually on time for a change.... here we go.....

[@justinmcleod4130]

ME TOO

[@CelticLibra]

SAME!

[@dompaine]

Thank you, Swoop, for showing me even more about how weird my fundamentalist upbringing truly was. It's a family run church, and I know nothing else, as we weren't allowed to ask questions. That seems normal to me. Thank you for pointing out that it's not normal, and what kind of damage this can do to people raised in it.

[@Namari12]

Zelph on the Shelf (an anti-Mormon KZbin channel that's been super critical of Girl Defined in the past) has actually done a collab with Bethany and Dav - they've been dropping little clips for the last couple of weeks. It hasn't been released yet, should be soon, but I would love to see an update to this after that collab drops, because I think it's going to be a fascinating conversation. The fact that Bethany is even willing to sit down with critics is pretty major.

[@Namari12]

Part one of the collab dropped last night if anyone is curious! It's a fascinating convo