Dementia Toileting problems

[@peggysaindon8281]

Praying for all the caregivers. This is so hard and getting harder. I have developed anxiety and taking meds for myself. Whew. Lord, hear our prayers.

[@hinmin12]

It sure is. I make daily prayers that I die without being a burden on my kids.

[@edwardkeating5285]

I hope you're doing ok

[@bcLCurtis214]

We need help and shouldn't be expected for this. It's quality of life - theirs and ours. This is the deal breaker.

[@barbaracarr17]

I don't know if someone else made this suggestion since I am new to viewing these wonderful videos. I take care of my mom who just turned 99 and has some dementia. A few months ago she fell and broke her ankle using the bathroom. As I had in the past after different surgeries, I put a portable commode right next to her bed. I first put one of those office-type plastic carpet protectors underneath. A tall trash container next to it is where all paper products go. I used zip ties to fasten a pump bottle of hand sanitizer right to the leg of the commode within easy reach. My mom has recovered from the broken ankle and is again using her walker instead of me transporting her in a wheelchair. However, I have left the bedside commode in place. I empty it into the toilet myself and have a spray bottle of sanitizer I use to clean the bucket of the commode. This way I monitor what goes into the toilet. We had had several sewer blockages in the past. My mom uses an incredible amount of toilet paper! Also, I didn't want any type of wipe or facial tissue or paper towel, etc., put into the plumbing of our old house. Also, practically every time my mom has fallen it has been related to the bathroom. My mom seems content to use the commode and can use it most of the time by herself. When I help her get ready for bed I help make sure she's completely clean and ready for bed. I also help her brush her teeth, which she still has at 99. I feel a real relief that I don't have to worry about plumbing back-ups anymore. That was a real nightmare! I like the suggestion of disabling the flush mechanism. But this way I don't have to fish things out of the toilet, except occasionally I don't have to remove unsuitable things from the commode bucket before flushing its contents. Sorry this is so long-winded. But dealing with the toileting has been a major challenge.

[@milahall4265]

Was there anyway you were able to limit the amount of toilet paper your mom used? My mom sometimes uses alot!

[@barbaracarr17]

@@milahall4265 No. She would use a large roll every day. Sadly, it took her needing complete assistance before things let up a bit. It's very interesting that so many caregivers face this difficulty. I think it's related to compulsive behaviors that develop at certain stages of dementia.

[@starcluster1377]

I have a container of baby wipes for my mom to use which helps.

[@jimprior5700]

My wide has LBD and the physical move from bed to comode is very difficult and worse getting up and back into bed.

[@mangot589]

99? God I’d rather die first. I cannot do this for another 10 years. God bless you. That’s what people always say to me. But god isn’t helping me. I don’t care if I become a saint. All I want is some sort of life in this one.

[@robinparsons8801]

Leaving a clean brief on the edge of the tub is so helpful although after working for a year we are getting to the point of not always remembering to put a new one on. Lots of lysol wipes. Plastic cover for mattress and washable bed pads are helping for now.

[@smashandcreate]

I deeply appreciate the level of sensitivity you have shown with approaching this topic. We are entering into a very troubling area of care for our family member. Its both heartbreaking and scary so this is very helpful. Thank you.

[@leonarddorrington1910]

THANK YOU SO MUCH. YOU HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD. I'M GOING THROUGH THIS WITH MY WIFE OF 57 YEARS. I GO WITH HER TO THE REST ROOM & HELP HER WHICH HELPS A LOT FOR BOTH OF US.

[@SonnyGTA]

OW! My ears!!!!

[@VoxUrania]

Easy care trousers with Velcro, elastic or draw string closures can help. Zippers and buttons can create frustration.

[@jannalynn1137]

The timing suggestion is VERY helpful, as my DH doesn't seem to have ANY clue whatsoever that he has to go until he HAS to go. Thank you, Doctor!!!

[@Justifier16]

The scheduling is a good strategy. It is a tiring and sometimes frustrating duty to deal with incontinence.

[@marybrand8269]

My husband has vascular dementia and diabetes. Recently he urinated off and on for 3 hours, couch, den, kitchen. Wouldn’t put on Depends. He did not know he had to go and could not stop it. When sugar collection becomes to great in the kidneys this happens. It was my first experience with this. I got a potty chair for the den, additional depends ( he’ll wear them instead of a hospital visit) and I will get a diaper pail like a viewer suggested. The kitchen is our go to place if all else fails. It is the easiest place to clean. Love these videos.

[@jaytei1965]

Wow, amazing advice. you are wonderful!! I will add something to the toilet disabling that you mentioned. When turning off the the valve to disable the water flow make sure you flush the toilet after the valve is turned off to drain the water in the tank. If the tank fills up you can still flush the toilet once so if you exhaust this once yourself it will be disabled after that when the valve is off.

[@bethjones4088]

My moms depends immediately goes outside in a separate trash can and if there’s feces on her pants. They are thrown out Blessings to all who have to go through this. I’ve been doing through covid. And I’m at the end. this is my moms last night with me. I can think negative or positive and learn to give myself some grace

[@bakokat6982]

No it doesn’t just “ feel” like a lot of time spent cleaning the messes up, It Is A Lot of Time! It is exhausting, and frustrating. Even with the use of depends, and chux pads it doesn’t help that much. It is a huge amount of work especially if the family member doesn’t think they need to be changed or cleaned up. Despite doing all the help you can, it’s still a huge amount of work for the caretaker.

[@ingenuity168]

It is hard and expensive with daipers.

[@Shiskabobber1]

And this is probably why it's one of the biggest reasons for making a long term care decision. My mother has Crohn's disease too so every BM is diarrhea. What you described mirrors a lot of my own experiences. I was hoping to get more out of this video than I did.

[@aynos629]

@@Shiskabobber1 Crohn's disease can be hereditary...

[@Catmoore60]

My mom is embarrassed by having to wear disposable undies and has started hiding the soiled ones all over the house. I always know from the smell when I enter a room that she has soiled one, so I have to hunt. She doesn’t remember doing it, nor where she hid it.

[@bakokat6982]

@@Shiskabobber1 Sorry to respond so late, I hope you are managing ok. Yes I think this video only addresses those with mild toileting issues. Yes it is hard to have a routine with someone with dementia and if they have no control of their bowel or urination. Her tips were not that helpful, I have provide a basket on the sink counter with depends, wipes next to the toilet, but my LO just ignores them. He often causes the toilet to over flow. It’s very frustrating. Hang in there.

[@slipknotdaffer5]

Very helpful. I had such a fiasco with my Alzheimer's client at the park last week. What a nightmare. And she refused to let me help her when we got back home which made the mess even worse. Thank you for your time and advise

[@jozie9712]

Hi, I'm not a care giver, but my great grandmother really struggled with this issue. She died when I was 16, but it helps to have lots of baby wipes on hand as they are easier for some people to use than toilet paper. You could also try positive reinforcement such as an enjoyable activity r healthy treat when they use the toilet. Some people do respond to rewards if they can remember what the reward is for. Some people don't like using rewards for older people because it's childish, but it does work for some people.

[@roseavery9446]

I find if I give my husband an apple when I get him out of bed. it keep his mind and hands occupied . I remove diaper with blunt scissors then wash his bum with wipes or warm water and cloth. Then sit him on the john. While he is still busy eating the apple I wash the rest of his body, shave him ,dress him and even cut his hair. All this while on the john. After his apple is eaten I brush his teeth. This routine has greatly simplified our life. He no longer fights me like he used to .the apple in my case was the magic. I also shut water off in the johns when he was toileting himself. Worked very well. They do go thru definite stages.

[@pattiharris1953]

I’ve been searching for helpful tool for my friend who is dealing with taking care of his girlfriend, and he’s a little bit in denial, so this video and comments are very helpful, thank you so very much!

[@johnbutura1891]

Beautiful teaching & easy to learn!!!

[@echase416]

One thing that can be helpful if they do make it to the toilet or commode, is something called a Pericare Bottle. It’s basically a squirt bottle that can help pourwater over their lap/crotch/butt area for a rinse, which then drains into the toilet bowl. I find a small handle jug/bucket was also helpful for pouring a rinse of water, while sitting on the toilet seat, helps too.

[@mundodesconhecido3373]

A handheld bidet is great too

[@slm171]

Having a temporary toilet chair next to the bed all time is helpful also . Appreciate the video.

[@marybrand8269]

I have 2 one by the bed and one in the den.

[@slm171]

@@marybrand8269 it gets worse Just be prepared Final solution is a kids swimming pool!

[@JoyinDementia]

These are all awesome tips, Natali! Thank you :)

[@Truecrimequeen68]

Yes this part has been really hard caring for my mom. The smell gets to me. I am shampooing carpet constantly.

[@kristinemargaritis7995]

I’m having the same problem. Her shoes are even soiled and she doesn’t care

[@chrissyp3065]

@@kristinemargaritis7995 Omg yes. My mother in law will urinate on the floor, step in it then walk on her rug. Its so hard to get her in the middle of the night. We dont always hear the motion sensor on the camera we have.

[@LyndaJohnston-gm1ks]

I had all carpet and rugs removed. Replaced with sheet linoleum. Much easier to clean up and sanitize. Also use croc shoes - easier to clean and much slip resistant. God bless and good luck to all.

[@SusanBrazeal]

Thank you for the information. I am a Concierge at an assisted living facility with Memory Care as well. I'm in the Atlanta area and our staff is fabulous. I had no idea regarding these issues. All information is helpful 😊

[@forrestgreenwood3723]

So GRATEFUL I found you 🙏🙏🙏

[@kathym6603]

Your gentle voice helps a lot.

[@nelliegarza7431]

Thank you for all the key points of toileting greatly needed and yes your voice level and way of speaking so calmly helps reassure us that we can do the job thank you for your most gracious blessed videos I had been wanting to look for something to help me out with a toilety and my husband

[@suzukipiano469]

My loved one has been getting up every night around 3:00 or 4:00 to go to the bathroom. I almost always hear him and wake up also. He has started having trouble finding the bathroom, even though I have several motion detector lights that show the way. A few nights ago, I did not wake up and discovered the next morning a mess all the way down the hall. I have since made sure he goes right before he goes to sleep even through he insists he doesn’t have to. We have gone three nights now of sleeping through the night and no messes. The extra sleep has also benefited me!!

[@echase416]

Using a baby monitor can help too.

[@echase416]

There’s also something to called about alarm. It sounds as when the person has gotten up and out of the bed.

[@anitanapp6759]

Emma Chase ... the baby monitor is best thing, it helps a lot!

[@cashlewis7344]

I just subscribed after watching 3 videos. YOU are WONDERFUL. Thanks for what you are doing for us - the care blazers. Regarding the bathroom issue, I do a few things. I bought a diaper genie which my Mom does use. I also got a tower stand on amazon. It holds multiple rolls of toliet paper. I put cleaning wipes and gloves on the stand for her to use. It helps most of the time. I also put a trash can with liner right next to the toilet. Hope these ideas help.

[@allykatharvey]

Thank you for these videos. Your kindly approach and delicate way of expressing such difficult things is very reassuring and helpful.

[@DementiaCareblazers]

You are so welcome!

[@theclapaolini4322]

You are so intelligent in this tender subject.God help and bless you.

[@judymacfayden755]

Finding this information has been a blessing. Thank you for sharing these tips and information as it is a difficult journey and can use all the help we can get. Thank you.

[@kathrynemason1673]

Definitely introduce a routine. I take my mum to the loo every hour and stay with her as she needs to be told exactly what to do and when. If I hear her get up at night I get out of bed and go in to the bathroom with her as I do during the day. She will put her hands in her faeces given the chance as she no longer understands what is happening and she doesn't like the feeing. Fortunately, I've cared for people with dementia and individuals with multiple and complex needs for a long time, so nothing mum does throws me. That doesn't make it easy though ......

[@debratheodore5638]

Thank you for your ideas. We just had an incident over the Christmas holidays where my mom’s toilet stopped up and ran over. What a mess! As luck has it, my sister in law is a plumber and came over to help. Turns out my mom flushed her remote control somehow and that’s what stopped it up. So thank you for the advice on disconnecting the chain!

[@ptirabasso1]

Oh my!!!!

[@Aaron65444]

I just wanted to say. that i have seen many of your videos and you have always been super helpful in the past. So thank you for producing this content. It is fabulous and you as too for helping so many families. I also wanted to ask about your opinion of Namenda. Is it worth the side effects? is it useful?

[@le.7099]

Thank you ma’am for sharing it’s a big help for us🥰God bless you🙏💕

[@taj3grace689]

I have to assist my mother in law in the bathroom, I have to supervise her with pulling down her depends and wiping when she has a BM because she gets it every where.. It helps a lot. I’m going to incorporate putting her on a bathroom schedule. That’s a great idea.

[@mundodesconhecido3373]

A hand held bidet is a life saver

[@winboogie42]

How do you wipe her? My mom ain't having it.

[@dvbuildingservices771]

Thank you, you have helped me and my father so much!

[@michaelstetzer3144]

Appreciate your knowledge! Thanks for sharing.

[@craigparker9096]

You are awesome. thank you so much for your wise counsel..You have helped me so much.

[@chairdewealth1663]

you are so amazing. thank you for posting these videos.

[@jimprior5700]

You seem very sincere but I wish you could do some videos on just Lewy body dementia. I need help and I can't find much.

[@RaviKumar-rd6hn]

Good information 👍 ur tips will work only in the early stages but when person comes to diaper stage We may have plan in different methods like solid foods and fluids by making perfect schedule will benefit for toiletng and this my experience with my elder brother in law who sufferd from Alzimer and he passed away in the year 2019 and noticed in the year 2013 after coming back from Newzealand. The last option is medication with proper knowledge mean to say quantity will play a bigger game Madam thanks for sharing ur knowledge and God bless you 🙏

[@bulshokades]

My mom is scared of pooping and won’t even push without crying her gets out even if her poop is soft. I’m so stressed over this. She has no issue controlling her bladder, but this fear of pooping have been so difficult for me

[@NikkiGregory]

Using the driveway & side of the house.

[@EdWilsonPhoto]

Waay better than the living room..(although distressing)

[@timothyglassel1239]

Thank you so much!

[@kayleighallan6917]

Hey can you put a video up about vascular dementia please my gran has it the now and because she's not safe at home she's to go into a care home and I was wondering if there's any advice you can give me thanks ❤️

[@harletterider9658]

find someone to live w/her.. keep her home.

[@necoragha65]

This was helpfull, thank you.

[@GrrMeister]

4:00 *It's Toilet in the UK - Restroom would only confuse them !*

[@sewpungyow5154]

I work in a nursing home and have so much trouble helping a certain resident change their brief. I work nights and I want to prevent skin breakdown so I try to change her brief at least once during the night (and this is a miracle). My concern is that I am a male and a "stranger", and she is a modest woman who is afraid of strangers. She gets terrified if she is not alert and oriented and you even appear in her line of sight in her room (understandable). She generally will refuse help with toileting and definitely refuses help with brief changes. As I have learned to understand her, I can better help her toilet, but she is declining and cannot always transfer to toilet, meaning I have to change her. I have no idea how to convince her to let me change her. The women caregivers tell me to just "force" her and pull down her pants. But I'm a guy, and let me tell you, the screams of a woman who sees a male stranger taking off her pants are fucking horrible. I can't bring myself to put her through something that traumatizing. I don't know if this a failure on my part, but my coworkers don't seem to understand my trepidation when trying to change her. I genuinely don't know if it's my approach or if it's my gender

[@c.kainoabugado7935]

Rule is No force in normal situations. you're doing the right thing n others are insensitive. Either switch with a female, talk to superior for your own safety or continue searching for better solution. Document your decisions and notarize documentation in case needed as evidence.

[@edwardkeating5285]

I TOTALLY relate. My "patient" is my 'aunt' but we aren't related. I cared for her husband with cancer until he died, they asked me to stay with them. She is from a religious background. So far she is still too coherent for me to help, but she doesn't wash when I try to convince her to. She'll change, but....even family members have to stand and watch her to get her to do it. They aren't here, I am. I hope you have found an easier path for you AND for your patient. Caring workers are unicorns. You are a blessing to anyone you care for!

[@patriciaedwards2677]

I agree, sometimes those who advise have not spent one or two years caring 24 hrs a day, sometimes pontificating has some idea, but mostly like many I turn it off, I am in my 11th year of full time caring, plus 7 yrs previous as it gradually grew, where he now cannot sit, turn, stand, losing your rag as we call it, is normal, especially when your doing something and they act as if it is a joke, but that is normal in any family it is like a child your trying to get ready for school and they decide They do not want to go, or run off to play with something whilst your ready to get in the car, Firmness can be misunderstood, but always there is love, after 73 yrs of marriage the Daily caregivers have no understanding of the many years we have together how we understand each other and communicate, generalities does not always work

[@barbaratrubenbach115]

I cringe every time my husband goes the bathroom, refuses help, never cleans himself properly, no pampers for him! He some how manages to get it all over the seat, down the side of toilet, sometimes right in front of toilet, it is an everyday occurance. I am so sick of cleaning up every day. I cringe when I hear the flush. I know it is not him,but I am worn out 24/7 care no time to myself. I should be glad here is still at home yet. Any ideas on how to try to start with a strong willed, mean individual?

[@007nadineL]

What did you end up doing? What a nightmare for you both.

[@craigparker9096]

how do you handle when the dementia person insist on sitting down and urinating without pulling down depends.

[@mirandavantonder5634]

Hallo and thank you.. Do you have suggestions on what to do when the caregiver feels that she cannot go on like this anymore. What is the move to do then?

[@nicotinedietcoke]

Put them in a home

[@kellyhedges9883]

So what about the loved one who has an ostomy pouch? Any suggestions.

[@michellelippincott6097]

What suggestions do you have when they refuse to sit down? When its a tug of war to remove their undergarments to be able to sit down? Any suggestions?

[@DementiaCareblazers]

If the person with dementia is suddenly restless, unusually unable to sit still, it may be that he or she is trying to get away from some new discomfort. Walking may be a sign that the person isn't burning off enough energy during the day - he or she needs exercise and stimulation.

[@michellelippincott6097]

@@DementiaCareblazers no I asked if they refuse to sit down in the bathroom and have a tug of war not letting you help them to pull down their garments.

[@Aaron65444]

What do I do to deal with directed incontenence? Its not a physical issue, its a judegment issue. He is starting to not get up to pee while outside. so he will just whip it out and go, while sitting. He will do this in the yard, i have seen him do this in public. Also sometimes he has to go, but he is really hard to get motivated to go to the bathroom. he refuses adult diapers.

[@diannegaddin4191]

Thank you so. Uch forthis

[@Bekind1969]

Any suggestions for someone who won't do a BM on the toilet because they think they are going to die if they do it.....he is wearing an adult pull-up, but he's holding it in because of fear. His wife and I keep reassuring him that everyone does it, but he gets very agitated when we suggest that he uses it.....any tips anyone?

[@rashidamather2399]

Good afternoon thank you for the video it does help I have the giant aggressive 6-footer that wears 2 in continent pants the problem is the body goes into a spasm when it is wet and I am not able to help unless I am allowed to be beaten as he's very aggressive the very moment when I take out the one that is wet it is a complete change of scenery so I've really quickly put in the clean one but it's not always easy when I sometimes don't get missed with the punches I also have a second loved one with vascular dementia as well fortunately she is able to go by herself but not clean up so I have to stand with both of them and wait until they finish and all I do is use the small shower that I have in each toilet to wash and then we wipe at night it is most difficult with my husband as I have to put in a special liner and that I have to be very very clever as to how I do that it was his not able to do that willingly I found that letting him sleep part of the night in the rocking chair is a lot easier than being in the bed because he tries to get up can't stand Dr N, you really saved me from thinking I'm the only one I worked at a care facility with 90 people on every face of all kinds of dementia so I'm used to it but it is very hard as I also am alone now doing everything

[@doriswinskie7049]

I thank God my husband is pretty agreeable to most things. It was difficult to bathe him at first but he seems to enjoy it now. I shower him with him sitting on a chair and we make a game of it. He’s able to do most of his own wiping and we both change his depends. He has never been too much trouble but he is now not wanting to take his pills. I just tell him I hate them too but we know the doctor wants to help us be as well as possible and its a chore we must endure to be healthy.

[@holly1actress]

Great video ❤❤❤

[@patrickl.2303]

What about our loved ones who don't want to go to the toilet, and and are stuck in bed or on a couch? What about when we get them at the toilet and won't pull down their underwear? Is is okay to force it off them? I have done it a couple of times, and she gets mad at me, and she hits me for it, at points hitting my head. Any suggestions?

[@catherinevericella205]

i am going through the same thing with my mom who is 70. Its a battle 3 times a day. I have not found an anwser just coming back after 15 minutes. Trying again. ]

[@hannahrn9470]

I have a trouble directing my LOWD to the toilet. She doesn't recognize which one is the toilet. She urinated on the chair a couple of time. When I showed her the toilet was, she answered me "i know," and then, end up urinated on another chair. When I asked to help her going to the bathroom, she felt embarrassed and didn't let me go into the bathroom which her. I'm also very concern about her safety especially in the bathroom. She is also at risk for fall and does not realize it. Sometimes, she refuses to use her cane and walker.

[@echase416]

Some of them may also need oestrogen cream as they get older. Incontinence and Leaking can be more than just dementia, alone.

[@edladendorf2799]

The reason she urinated on the other chair is because she didn't remember what you said. It's not her fault because her brain is compromised. You might try putting pictures or drawings of a toilet on the wall with arrows showing which way to get there. It might work for a while, but no guarantee. A picture of a toilet could also be put on the door of the bathroom. It's worth a try.

[@mundodesconhecido3373]

@@echase416 what does it do please?

[@markchin8256]

Consider also the need for gloves, footwear for the caregiver, long steel tongs to pick paper, diapers, soiled clothing etc and other equipment, including buckets and disposable trash bags. It's all about the need for hygiene.❤

[@behuman3801]

But what to do with someone who screams and shouts and hits and abuses when we ask them to change or use toilet

[@aynos629]

❤ thank you

[@BHPaperstacks]

I have a resident who will say she needs to use the restroom will sit for 5 minutes, cannot go and as soon as we exit the bathroom will ask to go to the bathroom again and will be very agitated if not acquiesced. This will repeat however many times we allow it to before telling her no. Our record is 6 over the course of about 35-40 minutes. We have checked and she does not have a UTI. It can be pretty difficult redirecting her and it always happens just before getting her into bed. Does anyone have any advice?

[@YvonneStoll]

I am an RN. I can not look @ smell or handle feces without overt nausea or revulsion. I make everything easily available for him and he toilets and changes his own male diapers. He does very well now. I know there is a time coming when he won’t be able to do it. I never had to do this professionally. I feel ashamed that I can’t step up to the plate for my hubby Please, help me to adjust to this part of his disease. We are both 80. Teach an old dog new tricks?😊🐕

[@barbaragendron-greene6654]

My husband refuses to use the toilet. He usually forgets how to pee standing up. He hates to have us pull his pants down so he can sit and use the toilet. He will push me off and he's pretty strong. He only pees two or three times a day, even though he feels the urge. We go in and out of the bathroom 12 times a day with no result. If he won't use the toilet before bed, he is up every hour all night long, going to the bathroom and refusing it and going back to sleep for another hour. HELP!

[@MissNepali13]

Same problem with my dad. He refuses to wear diaper. We have urine and excreta everywhere. Don't know how to convince him. Hope you are managing better ... Best wishes

[@Truecrimequeen68]

You know they need extra help when they don't clean themselves and you can smell them. That is the time to take them each time and use wipes to clean their behind. This is very hard but necessary. Use masks and gloves.

[@roseavery9446]

I use a nice smelling scent inside my mask. Everything comes up roses! Lol

[@gabriellasaibene904]

I am surprised that you do mentirono adult diapers. With my mom it was the only way to minimise mess, initially starting at night, later 24/7

[@DementiaCareblazers]

Yes. Adult briefs are necessary for so many!

[@marybrand8269]

My husband now has been getting UTIs. Usually when a man needs to urinate the penis will extend but with diabetes it doesn’t extend anymore so bacteria grows and gets in the urethra causing UTI. I have gotten him to use a wipe to wipe his penis after urinating. This seems to help. I do remind him.

[@garykirk9888]

My Dad is not socialising recently like before staying in his room more often! Is this common?

[@harletterider9658]

may be his hearing is not good. someone picking on him? macular degeneration ? not feeling good?

[@harletterider9658]

..

[@jstark1976]

My mom has Alzheimer’s and she panics when I take her to the toilet She refuses to pull her pants down and yells thinking I’m trying to kill her. She doesn’t understand what the toilet is even for anymore. Idk what to do.

[@robloxman274abc]

My dad has dementia, and last night he went to the toilet and when he was trying to go back to his room he fell down the stairs by accident cuz it was 3am, he went headfirst into a wall and now he's in hospital because he injured his head badly. It's not the first time he's gotten lost in the middle of the night, he went into my bedroom 5 times now, 3 of those times he peed in it. I don't want him falling down the stairs again, he injured himself very badly from falling down a few stairs so you got any advise?

[@007nadineL]

Exact same thing happened to my grandpa. He was getting dressed for breakfast at 3 am, fell down the full flight of wooden stairs after 53 years in the same house, big gash on his head, I kneeled in a big puddle of his blood to press clean rags on his head wound while ambulance was called, he went into hospital and we didn't take him back as he can't control his bladder etc. He has dementia and it got bad very suddenly, I noticed a few days before he fell. He's waiting for a LTC bed now. We're in Canada.

[@garykirk9888]

My Dad is going to often to pee but is not able to because he's already went shortly before

[@Truecrimequeen68]

Depends hold alot let me just say.

[@carolkol2313]

Natalie, my LO have been urinary incontinent for quite a while but now he has bowel incontinence. He uses various types of depends but not having an awareness of the need. He just can't (his last stroke and vascular dementia ? blocks functional memory?) Apathy has also increased and he knows something is wrong but can't adapt. Medical staff just suggest additional medications that leads to constipation. Any suggestions

[@DementiaCareblazers]

Sometimes the person just doesn't have awareness or ability to tell they need to go. Putting them on a toileting schedule can help. It may take some time to figure out how often to do this, but it essentially involves taking your loved one or reminding your loved one to use the bathroom at certain times throughout the day in hopes to reduce the number of accidents that are occuring.

[@sherryleggett1612]

@@DementiaCareblazers I have heard so many stories about nursing homes leaving residents in wet or soiled diapers. My dad refused to put mom in a home because of these horror stories. I know most homes are understaffed but hearing the stories of caregivers trying to manage toileting as a single person with one person to take care of shows the other side of that story. These places could never be able to have one staff for one patient so they have to be chronically understaffed. If the patient has some of these stories they could well be the one sitting in a diaper. Thank all those caregivers who care for their loved ones as long as they possibly can and who have shared their stories here. And thank-you to all the caring people that work in those places doing all they can do to care for the loved ones when caring at home is no longer possible.

[@alfa5243]

Sounds like the caregiver is on the routine.

[@DementiaCareblazers]

Yesss!

[@llyon5438]

But, she thinks her condition makes her exempt from using the toilet at all. No attempt to try to use the potty anymore. All diapers all the time. And she moves around in a wheel chair, drinking coffee insisting this is true, proper and normal.

[@harletterider9658]

ever heard of a cathitor(ms). it would catch the pee.

[@Ruby66739]

I don’t think they are going to let you help them in the bathroom that’s private 😊😊😊

[@mairismetal8135]

Wiping issues ..my mother Inlaw has poo streaks in her underwear

[@pazipece786]

Toileting is a good border value, when you should leave your parents to professional help.

[@deborahwalker5865]

How can I get my dad to let me change his diaper, and wipe him. He screams no my stomach hurts help me Lord. He always moves his bowels in the night. He can walk with a walker with assistance,but when it’s time to sit him on the toilet or wash him up, he can’t walk. He falls to the floor or drags his feet. I am his daughter and right now the one who is willing to take care of his toileting.

[@mundodesconhecido3373]

Get a handheld bidet, maybe even a portable one that you spray, they sell the on Amazon, it's a life saver.

[@tuputauliate1456]

thank you... this is very helpful...

[@carriebutt7932]

Thank you

[@ellisclark9456]

This is very helpful. My sister often places her soiled Depends in the wastebasket and whenever she attempts to use the bathroom she never turns on the exhaust. Needless to say, the entire household knows that she's going to that bathroom upstairs. To combat this, I place a motion sensor on the bathroom fan and set the timer on it to run an additional 15 minutes after she vacates the bathroom. Also, to keep down the smell of her depends, I purchased a baby diaper pail, which helps keep unwanted scents locked in a deodorized bag. I hope this helps someone and thank you again for the tips.

[@mundodesconhecido3373]

Thank you. You can fumigate with incense after sanatizing.

[@jh9391]

At least she's willing to wear a diaper 🤪🤪🤪🤪

[@solidrock7998]

I'm experiencing this with my 94-year-old grandfather. He used to put his soiled Depends in the hamper and rolled inside his pants. Needless to say, I ended up washing one with his laundry. The stench! I addressed it, and since then, he's been hiding the spoiled depends around the bathroom. My sense of smell is good so finding them isn't an issue. The concerns are the smell. Anyway... God bless us all

[@Kmama06905]

I’m a preschool teacher & I try to remember that this saying works for both my husband & the kids…”IF THEY COULD THEY WOULD!!!!”🙏🏻💙

[@KiKiQuiQuiKiKi]

@@solidrock7998 I wonder if it would help if you were to label the diapers with numbers when you bring them home from the store (1/24, 2/24, etc.)? I remember doing the same kind of thing when I was a toddler--circle of life...

[@doriswinskie7049]

I have found my husband with dementia really appreciates me going with him to the toilet and i sit on a stool and keep him “company”. That way i’m there if he needs help with anything.

[@thereseward7852]

When my loved one is upset because they need help - I say - lets do this together. Then I mention something I need help with. Could you help me wash the table? (Even if it’s clean) when people stop by my loved one tells them how much help I need and I get to brag about all they are doing. Then people offer me help. I try and keep a list of little things that can make life better. I have learned there are many generous people all around us that want to help if they know what to do.

[@Seamonkey555]

I always used "care partnering" terms witb my dad.

[@doriswinskie7049]

When my 93 year old husband became upset that I have to do everything for him such as bathing, shaving, wiping, changing diapers etc. he was ashamed about it. I told him God put us together to take care of each other, he cared for me through 4 major orthopedic surgeries and two minor strokes and now its my turn to care for him. He seems to understand what we do is out of love.

[@sandeeland]

Hello! Thank you so much for your very helpful videos! I love how thorough and thoughtful you are... it’s been so helpful. Our toilet issue with my father-in-law is a bit different... he does “go” in the toilet but isn’t wiping properly and we find “stuff” on the roll and even on towels from him not washing hands properly. We just got a bidet attachment for the toilet to help with cleanliness and to prevent the mess on his hands that gets on things, including under his fingernails. I’m hoping this is the solution to keep things clean. So grateful to have found you!

[@trishgreen2892]

Did the bidet help? Is it easy to attach to the toilet?

[@andreasomera3153]

Investing in a bidet (with remote control) has been a game changer for us. I highly recommend this to anyone caring for a person with dementia.

[@laurieclemens1]

I have one. Used it today on mom. Youre right. Lifesaver!

[@catherinebosley7539]

This is just beginning with my Husband,uncanny,my Husband has just spent a penny in the sitting room,last few mornings I have been washing the bathroom floor at 4.30 in the morning as the floor is being used instead of the lavatory,also,lavatory paper is being pushed down the plughole in the hand basin.I am on my own,no support and am finding life very difficult.zThank you for the explanation.

[@echase416]

Turning off the toilet water supply is just genius, Dr. Natali. 👍

[@Geoff1790]

Could you please do a session on grief of losing spouse as she moves in server Alzheimer’s . Spouse of 50 years has Alzheimer’s and it is just killing me. I feel lost and so hurt that she is in this condition. It is hard for me to see her as her physical appearance has change so much

[@DementiaCareblazers]

Geoffrey Campbell, Hi. My heart goes out to you. It can be painful. I’ll add your recommendation to future list of video topics. In the meantime, this video link may be helpful to you. kzbin.info/www/bejne/gZLdqJyIgaymnrs

[@echase416]

Sometimes finding peer support, or the support of a local Alzheimer’s society, can be especially helpful. Some cities and towns have Alzheimer’s volunteers or helpful staff.

[@andreakabcenell1545]

This is a great set of suggestions. I wish I had seen this earlier. I have also left a lighted path to the bathroom, with doors open, lights, on and the toilet lid up...like a runway. The scheduling trips has helped me too. My husband is still resistant to having help, but I ask him to do this for me, because it makes life much easier for both of us.

[@someonesdaughter3180]

I work in a care facility, We remove the waste basket liner after every toileting session (because of briefs and wipes used and discarded) we change the pads on the bed to fresh pads and sheets (if necessary) to keep the smell out of their room. It’s good practice to do at home as well.

[@DementiaCareblazers]

Thank you for sharing!

[@winendesertrose]

What to do with someone who is basically non compliant with bathing and cleaning up after themselves. this is for the home care giver who may be there a few hours.

[@SweetThing]

There is No putting my mother on a toileting schedule! She is obsessed about drinking water continuously so you "doesn't get a UTI" and she is demanding more and more water. She is up using the bathroom every 20-30 minutes all night. She is refusing to take medications; wanting to pick and choose which medicines she wants to take. She is combative and demanding; there is no reasoning with her; she only listens to male drs./authorities. My 2 siblings will not share any responsibility for her. She has our household in continual chaos; she lives with us, but we are seriously thinking of putting her in a nursing facility.

[@mundodesconhecido3373]

I'm so sorry 😭😭😭 mine is too, try getting a Bach flower blend, I used Holly and it helps calm the anger. Mine also spits out the medication, we crush it and mix it in with yoghurt at dinner time.

[@roseavery9446]

One very important thing to remember is they continually go thru stages. So the issue you have now won't continue. My husband is now in late stage. If I had known more about the stages it would have been helpful. Hhe is much easier now. At one point we put a lock on the refrigerator, lock on laundry room and pantry. Stored anything he might put in his mouth in those places. So helpful! He would get up at nite , pee inside kitchen drawers, wipe poop all over himself and everything else. He would eat it. When you tried to clean him up he would fight you violently. Diapers didn't work as he would pull them down to pee walking thru the house. These kept evolving and actually getting easier as he became less mobil. So sad to say . Quess what I am trying to say is don't lose heart. This to will pass. I also blocked off large portions of my house so he could only go into a few rooms. Much! Easier. Praying for all you beautiful people who love enough to help...lovingly... those who can't help themseves. No one would want to trade places with them. Please be encouraged. it will pass. You will get your life back.

[@winboogie42]

​@@roseavery9446Wow!! ....2yrs later and this is STILL the best comment on this video. Thx

[@dowfarley7707]

Good stuff. My question is how to help when the loved one will not let you help. We are dealing with serious anger issues and I am the target. She will not allow me to change her or help with undergarments. Her parttime caregiver can get her bathed but still working on toileting. The caregiver is here 4 hours a day but the rest falls on me. Been cleaning accidents daily. She then will not change her clothes and I am worried about health

[@mundodesconhecido3373]

Us too 😭😭😭

[@nelliegarza7431]

Thank you I love it Alexa will be my mentor helper and assistant

[@Robean226]

Thank you, Natalie! Your caring delivery of information is so refreshing and helps me get the language to use that will not trigger resentment. "Let's go take care of business.". My Mom, with mid-stage Vascular Dementia, has recently had bad blood glucose episodes (in the 300's after just being pre-diabetic). She was independent in her morning routine for breakfast but now we are trying to change the choices and even with a list it is a little confusing. But she understands that if we get a handle on her diet and exercise now that maybe soon she will be able to have a little bit of her usual treats like a small Pepsi a day or ice cream after supper. She thought using maple syrup on waffles was ok because pure Maple syrup is natural. She accepts that her food choices before got her here but she still struggles to understand what are good choices. Baby steps.

[@starcluster1377]

A caregiver in a dementia facility told me that they don't let residents have any creamed soups as it give them diarrhea.

[@KiKiQuiQuiKiKi]

I've heard that having photos or drawings of meal options helps and gives them a sense of control.

[@echase416]

Re: toilet schedule. Setting cell phone alarms is helpful.

[@patryvlogsencanada1929]

Thanks for all your tips!!👌

[@EdWilsonPhoto]

Whenever i hear the slightest mention of bathroom, I am up and leading my sweetheart to the toilet. A lot of the verbal cues from our past need to be discarded. Alexa and I are partner toilet monitors. Alexa gives us a "reminder" at a few pre-programmed times per day. My partner has forgotten where the bath rooms are. She removes (clears out and hides) all wiping materials when I'm not watching. Several areas where wiping stuff gets cached. We are sitting in my living room right now with 3 packets of baby wipes in her arms. She never uses the bathroom without me having to search the house for wiping stuff...Of course no amount of admonishment or begging makes a difference. I find my self like a drill sergeant asking about, wiping, flushing, cleaning, etc. Alexa also reminds us to brush our teeth. My wife seems to respond well to Alexa's voice... I don't think she knows Alexa is a robot.

[@helenjenkins7721]

P

[@aynos629]

❤

[@dolliepardon9750]

Could YOU hide the wipes in a handy place for you to whip out and hand her when it's needed?

[@winboogie42]

😂 ...that's funny (blame it on Alexa) my mom 'stuffs' as well.