Destiny Actually Gets Mad, Confronts NotSoErudite And Brittany To Defend Himself

[@LastNightDestiny]

MrGirl Debate Leads Destiny Into SA Talk w/ Brittany Simon And Aella (CONTEXT) ►kzbin.info/www/bejne/iZi6dWV9p7GWm7M

[@Diametric_]

Watching her agree to almost every single one of Destiny's points when Erudite said them was hilariously infuriating

[@deadzoneternity]

It isn't just that erudite said the same exact thing, it's the way she framed it I think is why Brittany accepted it. Destiny was essentially saying that those sexually liberated may have a lessened traumatic impact to those more conservative, erudite said basically the inverse, that those conservative have greater risk of worse responses. It's like Brittany is so self important she needs her personal position to be the baseline, everyone else is better or worse than her, she is not better or worse than anyone else, she must be the center. So she is not in a position to have less risk than those more conservative, conservative women are in a worse risk than she is, even though that is saying the exact same thing, it's the framing of Brittany being the center baseline.

[@goodoldgrim]

@@deadzoneternity This is a great breakdown of how our level 5 empath thinks

[@deadzoneternity]

@@goodoldgrim Oh god I tend to forget that silly level system was from her too wasn't it. Isn't her level system based on introspection rather than empathy? Either way, that entire level system is also similar, because what I remember her describing it isn't that she is better than the lower levels, it's that the lower levels are less introspective than she is, so even with that she sees herself as a baseline and everyone else is worse from that point.

[@goodoldgrim]

@@deadzoneternity I crossed two memes there. Who gives a shit what her delusion is actually based on

[@peewee130946]

@@deadzoneternityyeah but just framing it inverse shouldn’t automatically make you agree. I feel like an intelligent person would realize it’s the exact same sentence.

[@ruminating1596]

1:20:30 Brittany is going full Lav here. When she realizes she was wrong/has no argument, she immediately brings up Destiny's subreddit and blames him for his community "lack of caring". I still can't understand why these women get so hung up on randoms on the internet. As if trolling/banter isn't a constant thing. These women would take 4chan literal if they were to browse it.

[@Crissybooable]

It’s not just women it’s men too . Destiny had a superhuman ability not to care . Most people can’t handle this level of criticism

[@AfroDevil]

​@@Crissybooable yea but it's mainly women.

[@michaelh13]

When you attack someone for an immutable characteristic, without prior established relationship, it’s difficult not to take that as a dog whistle disguised as a joke. Banter is something that exists with people you’re friends with, these people aren’t your friends

[@tomgjgj]

@@AfroDevil The men pussied out long ago. Unironically.

[@bunguaamongus]

​@@Crissybooable "superhuman ability to not care" LOL made me laugh with how untrue it is.

[@JOMADA2]

19:23 That moment when the one neuron that is dedicated for memes shouts "Obamna" randomly. Relatable moments right here.

[@abbeyroad7121]

😂😂😂😂

[@kobrien2420]

My mind is so 🤯. 22 minutes in and Brittany is trying to tell us that she didn't say exactly what she said for the last 20 minutes.

[@WooTainG]

She's just clearly manipulative. Keeps saying absolutely, and you're right...then saying "we should should ask who got raped worse". That is the most clear cut intentional mischaracterizing of his comments.

[@thekaratekidpartii2169]

You just saved me 22 minutes.

[@sqronce]

Lol. I'm also 22 minutes in, and I was about to comment about how Destiny clearly isn't understanding what Brittany is obviously saying. When she said that thing, she was saying that not every person would have the same level of trauma, but if they did have the same level of trauma from the same thing, the factors going into that would be different, because they're different people. And then that she hasn't seen any data supporting Destiny's theory. And then Destiny listed a bunch of stuff, including stuff that was against his theory (like that people who are religious experience less trauma... conservative people tend to me more religious...)

[@brysonius]

@@sqronce based.

[@Pieceofcakesterz]

@@sqronce that's not what she was saying from what I heard. She seems to contradict herself by agreeing with destiny that past experiences, genetics, mental resilience, etc... May play a role in dictating the extent of trauma felt, but then saying that someone who attaches extra negative stigma to rape (viewing it as ruining you for you husband, or viewing yourself as having sinned) vs someone who wouldn't hold those views, would have no impact on the extent of trauma, and the person who views being a victim as shameful would be traumatised equally. I can't see how she said anything different.

[@-47-]

This one of the best examples of a brain shutting down live on air since that cp or incest debate with Brittany Venti and her friends. I feel like you can almost pinpoint the exact moment where he makes a point and she filters out all words except for "... rape ... not ... bad ..."

[@Diametric_]

I think 1:20:08 is the most hilarious example of her brain shutting down in this convo. Like "Yeah, okay, I agree... I... agree with that, but the wa-... So I agree, but I *'sigh'* ... Yeah." It's like she's realised there's actually nothing wrong with what he's saying, but her brain is stumbling to find something to disagree with because she "knows" he's wrong.

[@wileyreid5420]

Venti is someone I forgot all about What a time that was.

[@ryanjones3043]

I really believe it’s also because these women truly do not understand mens views on these subjects. They can only view these subjects through their personal lens

[@seamusmaguire2160]

Brittany’s be like…

[@baileyskates]

Yeah im starting to realize that the ability to calmly discuss rape,cp, Pedo's, incest etc. Just isnt something a normal person can do.

[@anglosaxon3951]

i got jumped 5 dude it kinda messed up my life feels bad to hear brittany acting like its nothing

[@tombullard6167]

Yeah sadly us men not being able to show our vulnerability to others really hinders us & makes the general population think if unheard its not happening but I guarantee 99% of men in fights that are jumped or on the wrong end of it replay it over & over not being able to sleep & many other issues & thoughts we don't share. Its so odd that we are able to accept others truths even when not openly shared yet when it comes to men getting sucker punched or jumped its just another day of football & sports. Not at all & experienced somethin myself that ate away at me for a long time. Hope you were able to find peace & healing... I know I didn't until I learned to love myself & start living life thru love opposed to fear of what others think, judge, say. None of that matters when you love yourself & are able to focus on being a better you each day things come from place of love & not that fear of judgement, shame, gossip, others opinions or thoughts. Hope you find your peace my friend, its not easy especially with resources we have as men I 100% agree.

[@tombullard6167]

It's even more sad that bc her brother gave an antecdote of "bein jumped" she took it 100% face value instead of trying to empathize or stop thinking about it at such a basic surface level way bc if she cared so much or thought openly she would know her brother is Male & we 100% tend to keep our true traumas & vulnerabilities hidden bc thats what society has taught us. If anyone should recognize that it should be an open minded thinker. The toxic masculinity she claims to have traits of is completely ignored in this case that supports her surface level view of men trauma in jumping or sucker punches....

[@MATCHLESS789]

When I was 20 I got jumped by 5 16-17 year olds. It really traumatized me, for a couple years I wouldn't go out after dark and even a decade later I'm hyper-aware every time I do. When I told some people about it I got laughed at - "couldn't deal with some kids?" I'm a bigger dude (6'1, 240 pounds and good amount of muscle at the time) but I'm not an aggressive person, I don't want to smack around some kid and potentially ruin his life. It's definitely not nothing.

[@Crissybooable]

I don’t think she I think she needed clarification on what being jumped meant just like we need clarification on what we mean by rape . Sorry that happened to you though and personally don’t think it’s nothing that you got jumped . You probably felt or feel more anxious in some aspect of your life because of it .

[@Macheako]

@@MATCHLESS789 defending your life is literally just part of being alive tho bro….like….you gotta defend what you got….there’s nothing wrong with that ❤

[@thoughtriotpodcast]

This started with a question, not a statement. When people get in to arguments/debates like this with Destiny they don’t understand he is trying to explore the idea to draw a conclusion and opinion. He may have some personal opinions but he’s intentionally trying to explore those to prove or disprove himself.

[@bluegaming1346]

I'm strongly beginning to think that at least 50% of people are mentally unable to engage with hypothetical scenarios.

[@benjeesilv1596]

​@@bluegaming1346 that or they might be unwilling to. As an intellectual exercise it's pretty useful but it's not always meaningful to everyone.

[@Vscustomprinting]

@@benjeesilv1596 selectively not meaningful.. Its like the petulant study that refuses to learn from the skilled teacher because they dont like their teaching style while the student next to them also doesnt like it, but chooses to learn anyways. Its ego, and conditioning to feed your ego.

[@dawnkeyy]

​@@bluegaming1346I honestly think that on the left, that's being traumatized (no pun intended) by the right doing the "I'm not saying black people are xy, but..." Like the left reads the most insane fascist propaganda into a statement that's maybe imprecise in the slightest. And I get it. Destiny is kind of special in that he really does speak directly and you can take him at face value. People just aren't used to that. They are used to the Jordan Petersons of the world that will obviously imply crazy shit but never admit to it.

[@Palps93]

You can tell Brittany's entire identity and personality is based on her "trauma". She's constantly flexing her rap sheet of therapy and victimhood casually in conversation. This is my opinion and impression.

[@puffdaddy69]

I’m glad it isn’t someone else’s opinion

[@crazyboysince1998]

And then she randomly says things about not believing other girls and said she has rated the rapes with her friends. That is insane to me

[@DD-ym3nk]

She's the epitome of "as a ________" [insert whatever characteristic she thinks makes her credible for whatever she's talking about]

[@cervvw]

@@crazyboysince1998 No she tried to figure out what other conditions made the traumatic event more or less palpable for her or others which is what Destiny always tries to do. You know the whole thing about how to overcome trauma and how severe things are and what conditions makes it more server or harder to overcome or better to deal with. You are all kinda fucking dumb including Destiny himself.

[@mikeromba]

This ish is hilarious; she seems to be parodying herself... But bro, you don't know that

[@Eddgarur]

Britany "trauma is trauma" Also Britany: "I never said the trauma is the same."

[@razzlejazzles]

I think she is just really afraid of minimalizing anyone's trauma. I thought destiny was clear that he WASNT doing that, but she seemed to disagree.

[@conradkorbol]

@@razzlejazzles yeah most women heard him minimizing trauma tho. Men didn’t. So to me, that tells me, this is a gender communication break down.

[@conradkorbol]

@@ade8890 men on the flip side aren’t emotional enough and that’s why they kill themselves successfully more and whine about women being emotional. If a woman was a man it’s true she would be judged for being too emotional. But they aren’t men so they judged based on that’s standard

[@conradkorbol]

@@ade8890 we don’t agree. Men are super emotional lol. Men just only can express it through rage or happiness. Abusive men are a result of men not keeping their emotions in check, the massive drug addiction men face is a result of bad emotional regulation. Men are just women who suppress our emotions and do toxic agree shit to mask our sadness

[@TheWentzMachine]

@@conradkorbol Said the person who has the ears of most women and most men at the same time. 😑

[@kikiRa.]

Its funny how people think Steven's framing is the problem when even when he was very careful and said someone "might be less traumatized" brittany reframed it to "have a better time"

[@RexZor76]

I think his framing is the problem. Because Eurodite said “the same thing” according to him and Brittany agreed with her. So based on the interactions, I think it is a framing problem. Steven has a hard time realizing he is not the best at explaining things sometimes.

[@Mrraerae]

@@RexZor76 what is the problem?

[@kikiRa.]

@@RexZor76 Brittany reframed everything he said in the worst possible light, how can he control that?

[@Beefytiing]

@@RexZor76 it is a framing problem, a misframing problem but most of you aren't able to see past your own bias.

[@RexZor76]

@@kikiRa. when you’re having a conversation with someone your goal is to get them to understand your point not the “audience”. If Brittany understood Destiny points better from Eurodite wouldn’t that mean sage framed and explained it better?

[@tornadre]

I generally really like Brittany, but in this conversation she seemed really closed minded/incapable of understanding where Destiny was coming from. It was pretty frustrating.

[@bestdjaf7499]

It seems, it's her job. She is very interested in "trauma". But all that "Trauma" stuff is not new. In 80th-90th we had "Daycare Sex Abuse Hysteria". Hundreds of innocent people went to prison, b/c Social Workers/Psychologists convinced children that they have witnessed atrocities, but don't remember about it due to trauma. ... In 2000 everyone was talking about "Rape Epidemic" on college campuses. ....

[@xokirei]

mmmmmm

[@cryptouk7985]

@@bestdjaf7499 aslong as she doesn't try say zebras shake off trauma after a lion attacks so we should embrace twerking.... idk wtf the tiktok was from long form wise but jeeeeze epigenetics my ass

[@bravingbrivatebrian]

Humans gonna human habibi

[@tyler71989]

She always has been entirely closed minded. She was unwilling to accept any form of feedback or criticism from any actual professional in the past and has always stated, with a lot of additional wording being added in, that only her world view ant tier system is correct. When criticized she will always shove it off and say “my world view isn’t everyone’s” and then go right back to selling her world view as the only one

[@onesquirrel2713]

Incredible how Brittany is tone policing Destiny because somebody might misunderstand what he is saying, while at the same time being the only one in the room who is utterly and completely misunderstanding what he is saying. Not everyone is as dense as you, Brittany.

[@Sach966]

I agree that she's wrong, but I think it's unfair to call her dense. She's just too close to the topic emotionally to talk about it with pure unbiased logic. Actually that also sounds a bit rude, but fuck it, close enough.

[@En-Beet]

Well couldn't you be dense even if you have an explanation for why you are? Like i tend to call kids stupid and my gf always runs defence for kids and say that its wrong to call them dumb, because they just dont have enough experience or this or that. But does that really change the fact that relatively to everyone they are usually pretty stupid? I dont think so at least.

[@Sach966]

@@En-Beet I mean if you think she's usually dumb, then yeah calling her dense is probably fine. But if it's just in this circumstance, it feels unfair. Here's an exaggerated example - If Brittany instead had a full on breakdown and started yelling and couldn't hear anything Destiny was saying, you probably wouldn't say "she's being dense right now."

[@En-Beet]

@@Sach966 im with you. I think the vast majority of times people call other people dumb, stupid or other is a situational thing, thats at least i have almost always used it. I guess i do get that that messege isnt really convayed when just saying "they are dumb/stupid/dense"

[@Sach966]

@@En-Beet Appreciate the talk bud, always lovely to have a chat on the internet where everyone's nice

[@JimC607]

The way Brittany goes on about fighting as if it's always this glorious battle is so f*cking detached from reality. The way sheltered minds perceive things is actually hilarious.

[@lampad4549]

Typical berserk fan

[@puffdaddy69]

Typical malibu mommy

[@ON-ry8iw]

​@@lampad4549lmfaooo

[@daviedood2503]

She thinks she's this angel empath crap fighting evil 🙄🔥

[@davethecave6847]

i know, she doesnt realise that if she was cornered by 3 cartel members in a dark alleyway that alone is more traumatic than anything on earth

[@JohnSmith-eo2yx]

Can't stand the way Brittany tries to portray things, starting from the "my brother doesn't consider it getting jumped". Who cares? You know that's not the point

[@tombullard6167]

Even if it was isn't she coming from it at the most basic surface level view bc she admits to having toxic masculinity traits. Not completely being open & honest while downplaying it when sharing vulnerabilities or trauma is 100% regular occurrence for men bc it's what we've been told by society since birth. So for Brittany to take her brothers story at such surface level shows how little thought she made when considering it bc if she had thought she would've premised it under "my brother said he got jumped saying it was like any other fight... but maybe he didn't share his true vulnerability & truth with me" So if she actually empathized & truly reflected on it she wouldve atleast considered her bros story was downplayed bc of toxic masculinity teaching him not to...

[@noobslayer1196]

words have meaning. I'm tired of destiny making excuses and just listening to people talk. I wish he would just be like "no, stfu, that is not what it means" oh and your bubbles are bullshit.

[@KumaNicol]

It truly is brain rot, it gives anyone the ability to use a single anecdotal experience as a reason why they believe it applies to every living human on this earth. This person is using a single instance of one human of billions to justify why the entire definition the other billions are using is now incorrect, what a braindead stance. So if a girl I know was sexually assaulted / raped, but not like pinned down and ""forced"" physically, and she decides it wasn't rape, I can now descriptively claim to everyone else on the planet that rapes definition is wrong and I know the one true definition?

[@tombullard6167]

@@KumaNicol on top of all that if she knows about toxic masulinity she knows men have been condotioned since birth in society to downplay negative experiences & not share our feelings openly bc then it's seen as weakness. So if she's so open minded while being empathetic she should've immediately reflected & thought about how her brother is 99.9% downplaying the incident bc he doesn't want to show her his vulnerabilities or weakness. Especially if he knows its gonna be shared with strangers on the internet... Who would admit it without being able to give their 1st hand experience with all the nuances it requires. It's just sad to see such basic surface level stuff overlooked by someone who claims to care about male mental health or toxic masculinity imo.

[@acew2306]

@@tombullard6167 Her engagement with a lot of topics is often surface level. It should be a very basic thing to admit about that story. A lot of people are like this. Understanding is unfortunately all too easy to mimic with the correct speech pattern, but quite difficult to achieve without an actual desire for it.

[@deadzoneternity]

It feels like Brittany actually mentally NEEDS to believe that every trauma, no matter what, is all the same. I don't think anyone she speaks to or reads, or anything will be able to convince her, and if it does I think she will absolutely spiral. I can only imagine why she needs to believe absolutely all people, all instances, all different responses, are all the exact same level of trauma.

[@thedappermagician6905]

This is a diabolically dangerous statement and likely, quite near to the truths.

[@alexandermcclain5561]

Britney is the gaslight QUEEN.

[@Hooga89]

She's a sociopath, I don't get why anyone gives her even a smidge of attention.

[@Crissybooable]

Oh we hate Brittany again now ?

[@tjr6900]

​@@Crissybooable yea like wtf lol

[@keynight7513]

@@tjr6900 idk why anybody liked her in the first place she’s obviously pandering

[@bigben3089]

@@Crissybooable I’ve never liked her. She’s annoying af. I learned to tolerate her from time to time but everything about her personality drives me crazy.

[@JohnSmith-eo2yx]

It was pretty clear to me that Brittany wasn't equipped for this conversation during the first part. It's only more clear now that she's taking things personally. Which is completely FINE and understandable. But she's not demonstrating an understanding of what he's trying to say. Whether intentional or not, her bad faith arguing is breaking the conversation down.

[@whasian1487]

Right. She was so caught up in the idea that Destiny was shaming sexually liberated women that she couldn't see the hypothesis presented.

[@Timhttrsn]

Why is it fine to be too emotional to hear what another person is saying? Can we not deal with saying something isn't fine?

[@trololkhil9868]

This is the best example to show why people who are too close to the subject matter should not be relied upon to make laws and why things need scrutiny from impartial juries.

[@Rov-Nihil]

​@@whasian1487 kinda shows how she's soooo green in debating and also how echo chambery she's been in her bubble for this long

[@lonewaer]

@@trololkhil9868 Exactly. Juges and juries, that's why we have them. To what OP said, it's even worse, because even at the end of the talk, Brittany was still talking from the perspective of her f-ing bubbles. Even after NSE identified the mismatch in discussions, and she agreed. She agreed, and then promptly came back to make Destiny bend under the dictatorship of the individual experience. Actually insanely bad faith. I kind of wish Destiny had actually gone full brutal to make her realize that he was actually being considerate and relatively sensitive about the topic the entire time. NSE talked about aesthetics a lot, but he has made so many freaking disclaimers, it's nuts. And they're still not getting it. There were so many ways to go full brutal with his stance, to the point Brittany would probably leave the call in tears. I swear I lost my crap multiple times during that discussion, it was so infuriating.

[@podrickfookinpayne2329]

I've honestly never understood why Destiny and DGG in general like Brittany. She sounds like a pixie valley girl who acts enlightened but understands way less than she pretends. Also I think the way Destiny explained things, and explains things in general, is perfectly understandable and is actually a lot easier to understand than what some people give him credit for. I mean, yeah, he's a touch insensitive at some points but people make it out to be a lot worse than it is.

[@luke-tq6uj]

This conversation is an exception. They're talking about something personal to her which may impede her rationality on it. I can tell she's trying her absolute best but it's clear this just bothers her and she shouldn't be having this convo.

[@leadfaun]

Nah, this convo is clearly an exception.

[@alexandermcclain5561]

Destiny with another superhuman patience W. This was infuriating to listen to. And it was nice to hear Destiny vocalize the internal narrative that happens with victims. I don't mean to be dismissive to Britney or whatever, but at times it feels like she's never been through it. This shit ruined my life, and it ruins the lives of a lot of other people who suffer silently. Saying that pain is relative, and that no pain is worse than any other pain, is absolutely delusional. This made me furious.

[@UnrealTestName]

Would be a lot easier to listen to if he did not have two videos running at the same time

[@hyperbrug9328]

you shouldnt be fuming over a youtube video lmfao

[@chickenandksivideoreviewer9739]

​@@hyperbrug9328 shut up

[@DecaturQue]

Do you agree with Destiny’s point? I don’t think I do. I have no reason to think Conservative women are less resilient to things that happen to them especially outside their control.

[@imyournme6632]

@@hyperbrug9328 "don't be human"

[@MrGargamel1198]

19:23 The misspeak followed by the nuke 💀

[@evolution__snow6784]

Nagasaki 2.0

[@AniKhang]

O b a m n a

[@zamblaze]

I love when he nukes chat then the ducks come out to feed

[@KissSlowlyLoveDeeply-pm2je]

fragile ego

[@noobslayer1196]

why the fuck were they all banned? for using a fucking emote? i swear steven just bans people for the dumbest shit.

[@Gtascyzoryk12]

What I learned from this video is to never discuss trauma with a trauma victim. It happened to me. With friends we discussed abortion. I wanted an interesting conversation about a challenging topic. After a few minutes of talking, the girl who was most vocal and disagreed with me told us she got abortion a year prior. Needless to say, it wasn't a fruitful conversation. All the time I felt no matter what I say about this topic she will feel personally attacked. This video just cemented my belief. Never debate trauma with trauma victims.

[@Theo-vn9hm]

But at some point we have to though, we can't have those who are trauma victims and those who aren't just exist in isolation of each other, then we get *nothing* done, and the only people left to talk with trauma victims would be the kind of people to say it was their fault or that they should get over it

[@permsy5716]

Yh it doesn’t work I have close family member who was traumatised rational goes out the window with discussion understandable but just not worth the conversation

[@permsy5716]

@@Theo-vn9hm we don’t have to all discuss trauma to get things done lol

[@jnightmare0]

You don’t debate trauma that’s a terrible decision honestly. Just be there for the person or get professional help for them.

[@mikasasukasa4479]

​@@Theo-vn9hm some time we have to debate with a trauma victim? you're crazy

[@capfreedom]

I’m sure her brother may have trauma that he does not tell her about.

[@beewest5704]

My brother was jumped & stabbed in the back. He had no trauma. He had more trauma from a car accident he was in. It is possible for ppl to not have trauma from being jumped. I worked at a ER & majority of ppl coming in who were jumped did not come back for a psych referral, medication to help PTSD symptoms but all the patients we had seen that have being R'd came back for psych referrals or medications for PTSD. There could be alot of different reasons why this happens but also in both groups we will find ppl who have little to no drama & those who do not.

[@capfreedom]

@@beewest5704 He told you he had no Trauma. Men don’t tell people they have Trauma when they are beat up. It is part of toxic masculinity.

[@tombullard6167]

@@beewest5704 yeah I'm guessing male being the majority of victims of said jumping & the stigma that comes with seeking mental health help or exposing your trauma would make much of your personal experiences. I was sucker punched in 10th grade in front of entire school practically & I can vividly call back the time & lost many hours of sleep thanks to it. I'm pretty trauma resilient or quick to adapt to unhealthy environment but just wanted to share my personal anecdote bc I never shared with medical health professional, got my stitches, took the 3day suspension... Moved on outward but still battling inward...this is the bad part of masculinity... Feeling unable to open up with your vulnerabilities & traumas. Maybe its more environment raised along with support systems or lack their of but I guarantee men replay the fight or jumping over & over in their heads medicating to sleep in majority but 100% will not admit or open up to the idea of sharing their true feelings

[@capfreedom]

@@tombullard6167 I feel this so much.

[@RS-fy9hb]

@@beewest5704 your anecdotal evidence hinges on an extreme amount of selection bias, and assumptions. Most people who get jumped, are going to be people who live in rough areas, and are expecting no help from psychologists. Most rape victims aren't going to be expecting rape to even be a possibility, so the event is entirely world shattering to them, and they won't live almost exclusively in environments that have a high likelihood of giving the people there traumatic experiences just by virtue of them existing in this environment. So the jump from a normal traumatic living situation from a traumatic 5 person group half killing you, isn't as jarring as the jump from normal livelihood, to then being physically assaulted and having your view of the world shattered. That sheer difference can contribute a lot to victims of rape seeking mental help, where jump victims are experiencing habitual violence already, so it doesn't seem necessary to get their mental health checked, as much as just their physical body. And this is not even looking at most rape victims that end up in hospitals are almost exclusively women, and a vast majority of victims of being jumped are men, who are already primed against seeking mental help.

[@basedcentrist3056]

She's right that people's relationship to their trauma is different, that doesn't mean that all trauma is the same at all

[@djsans3]

I couldn't make it through after 31:50 . This is so fucking insane. Thank you Destiny for showing me that some people simply can't be convinced (at least in a short time span), it will definitely save me a lot of time in the future.

[@bash555]

I mean you’re missing the best part when Kyla finally calls out Destiny for being a blue haired piss baby @1:40:00

[@4elove4ishee]

Fucking crazy that the gaslight queen said 'dont speak for a bunch of people' and 'a lot of people didn't understand you' in the same convo lmao

[@frankmarano1118]

44:38 That's what you get for thinking brittany is super mature & able to handle these conversations. She now says you're unnerving & shed be scared to date you. Man he's got a blind spot for this type of thing... & erudite is covering for her SO MUCH. Like a baby brittany needs to know whether they're talking about society or an individual? Please this is such cope, they were clearly talking about society the entire time, it was brittany who took it personally when they never were talking about her own experience. She's the one who brought it off of society

[@wisemage0]

Getting raped does not make you an authority figure on the topic of trauma. It just makes you a person with an anecdote.

[@Visitant69]

Brittany loves to speak confidently about things she doesn't understand. If I'm terrified of spiders and one crawls into my mouth I might actually form a trauma as a result of that depending on the level of my stress response. If I'm someone who loves spiders, well, some of those people put tarantulas in their mouths and let them crawl out and they love it. Trauma is not caused by a static event but the response to that event. Trauma is created by intense stress/fear/anxiety. If an event happens to you and you are able to manage your stress better than someone else then they might be traumatized by an event you are not traumatized by.

[@ozurafgc6235]

Yes, brittanys example about her brother getting jumped works against her because typically no sane person will view getting assaulted by 4 guys at once as just "another fight", its sounds like he's already been through a lot and has been desensitized to the stress that type of event brings which, as is already not normal, already shows the capacity of a different response for a static event.

[@mharris4264]

I this example doesn't correlate with the conversation because your example has people that love spiders and apparent putting them in their mouth. There talking about a experience that nobody would like. The question is or at least was, who would likely be able to cope better. Maybe if the spider crawled in their ear.

[@HampusAhlgren]

0 epistemic humility

[@TheFatalcrest]

10/10 I got held up in 711 as the cashier, I give uo the drawers and the dude leaves, I was freaked out by it...but mostly was hit with "Oh shit that just happened" and I was basically given the next day off and I was like "oh...I guess ill take it?" Over the next few days, I just let it roll off and I was just like "can I spot this bastard coming in again?" I walked away with little trauma attached to the memory and in fact the next time a dude pulled a knife I was almost like "God dammit are you serious?"

[@maximiliankullmann7802]

​@@mharris4264 its fucked up but there are literaly people having Fantasys of beeing raped just becouse something is trerible and disgusting for a most people doesnt mean its for all

[@kevinroman3438]

Since NotSoErudite said the same thing Destiny said and received acceptance from Brittany, I'm tempted to think that she didn't do that with Destiny because he's man :

[@wisdomandy9361]

I know this is my anecdote and it's not necessarily significant per se but.. I've had two different women in my life who I had sexual relationships with that told me their kinks were to get raped. And one of them was so into it she wanted to me kidnap her and rape her. I never ended up engaging in this with either of them because I felt it put me in a huge position for potentially life ruining outcomes.

[@Fartless69420]

Bro dodged the tsar bomba allegations

[@juanmejiagomez5514]

@@Fartless69420 lol true

[@GreatRusio]

I would need a lawyer present with papers before I do anything like that

[@NotimetoVero]

As a woman, this is embarrassing and TMI, maybe some other person can chime in. I myself, and a close girl friend of mine, had that same fantasy, tried it out with our partner at some point, within two minutes said the safe word because it is actually not as fun and exiting as it would seem.

[@fyfaenihelvete]

This has nothing to do with the conversation, gj tho.

[@Jake-zn1qr]

Brittany can easily concede in one instant that getting jumped can be traumatic for one person but not traumatic at all for another. But when it comes to rape, it has to be equally traumatic to everyone but for different reasons? Come on, that's just stupid.

[@canislupus3655]

It's odd too, cause she mentioned people in her community being generally unfazed by their sexual assault

[@Blurredborderlines]

@@canislupus3655 Imagine making a community of liars :^)

[@paulares292]

"Ok so just to clarify, if 2 people are raped, before we help either, we should see who got raped worse" Honestly, I think Destiny should have burned the bridge with her forever at this moment. In that moment, she is either purposefully misunderstanding him to get a rhetorical "gotcha", or she is actually too stupid to understand what triaging is.

[@felskeren284]

im 7 mins in and I can already tell this is gonna be 2 hours of talking right past eachother

[@marrrrry.elllllen]

If a religious woman is assaulted, she will most likely have a more difficult time with the shame and guilt aspect.. but she also has her relationship with her religion/God to heal. I wished, at the time, that I did still have my faith. But would I then be trading that for a more intense guilt? Idk. Whether you're religious or not, everyone's journey through trauma and healing is treacherous.

[@quickfireclip]

kayla and brtittany doing the “I’m not saying that” but then give an example of them saying that 😂😂😂😂 this was fun to watch

[@theredking9458]

It feels like Brittany is saying, there's no point in trying to compare your trauma to others because there's always someone who's got it worse but you're pain is your pain and thats hard for everyone. Then Destiny is saying, in society we need to be able to rank trauma to know how to treat people and triage because we have limited resources, phsycologists need better ways to identify levels of trauma and treat it differently and part of that is knowing how much the people around you are inducing you to think that your trauma is worse than it is among other things. Just feels like 2 different convos, not sure why Brittany couldn't understand what Destiny was trying to talk about. She then starts applying what he's saying to her framing which makes him sound like he's invalidating an individuals experience, which it would be if you were saying these things to individuals as advice for them, but he's literally not. Very frustrating she can't separate these things.

[@theredking9458]

Also, I'm glad Destiny found something to fight with Britanny over, thought it would never happen

[@the1stmetalhead]

The thing is it becomes harder to rank trauma. Cause people are different. And they will perceive different trauma differently. For someone being graped is the worst thing ever. For others emotional manipulation and lying could be the worst thing ever. The thing is it depends upon the individual. I understand the need to rank those traumas to better understand them but people are emotional creatures and it will definitely hurt their feelings if someone says to them that their trauma is not the worst thing they experienced.

[@theredking9458]

@@the1stmetalhead You did the thing, you missed the point xd. What you're saying is true, but nothing I said contradicted any of it. Ranking trauma isn't ranking different sources of trauma and how bad that is objectively. Ranking trauma means having indicators for how severe the trauma an individual is experiencing is, through psychological testing and interviews for example. BUt we can generalize about how traumatic certain events are to people BROADLY even if there may be an individual somewhere that gets as traumatized by a papercut as someone getting their arm chopped off, I think we can very safely say that BROADLY someone getting their arm chopped off is more traumatic than getting a papercut. NOONE IS SUGGESTING YOU SAY TO AN INDIVIDUAL THAT THEIR TRAUMA ISNT SO BAD GET OVER IT. You're mixing up broad societal prescriptions about how to rank and sort trauma so we can better hep people with trauma with telling individuals their experience isnt valid, it doesnt make sense.

[@the1stmetalhead]

@@theredking9458 oh on that I 100% agree. In fact during the video I agreed with Destiny all the time. I made the comment prior to watching the video. So my bad that you had to clear things up. But anyway it might help someone else who needs some sort of deep explanation.

[@Mrraerae]

@@the1stmetalhead How did you watch the video in 39 minutes? It's over an hour and a half long

[@uhnah7652]

When people discuss that line that "trauma changes the brain", I beleive that they are referencing how trauma has the capacity to change the brain quite quickly. Trauma by definition refers to the lasting emotional response that often results from living through a distressing event. Trauma refers to changes in the brain outside of a "normal" or healthy response, which is emotional processing which is categorically different. Sure video games change the way that the brain works, (chronic video game - amongst other factors - can result in alexithymia, for example, and affect the limbic and dopaminergic system) so does exercise, so does a conversation with a friend through feelings of connectedness, so does food affecting gut microbiome, but trauma by definition has more drastic and direct effects on the brain because by definition trauma is outside of an adaptive response. The difference is about incrimental changes versus direct/more drastic changes.

[@thiirdeye1347]

What I am hearing Destiny ask is do social expectations and norms that we live in affect how we handle trauma. But because this is an intense topic it is being taken wrong.

[@cleancut3301]

I didn’t know how Steven has convos like this. Literal brain rot. Some people are unable to engage with uncomfortable truths.

[@whydesignco]

"jumped" means you're getting in a fight with multiple people... i've yet to meet anyone use it differently. People lie about getting jumped to make the fight sound better but in reality it was a one on one with the other person sneaking a punch (sucker punch).

[@gleebybooer]

Exactly im from the south and it has never met anything different

[@protein5207]

i've always heard it used to describe getting into a fight suddenly, mostly by a group of people. One person can jump you if you didn't know you were going to get into a fight. Most people get jumped by agreeing to a fight 1 on 1 then the other person brings in a whole group.

[@-47-]

To me the element of surprise is the deciding factor, but it is almost always multiple people on one

[@whydesignco]

@@protein5207 yeah, exactly how i've always heard it or jumped by a gang which always means by a group of people as well.

[@whydesignco]

@@gleebybooer yup, i'm from south texas, only way i've heard jumped being used is unexpectedly getting jumped by multiple people or just jumped in for a gang.

[@TNTspaz]

I'm so over the lived experience rhetoric. I've literally only ever seen it used by people who want to purposefully argue in bad faith or shut down conversation

[@deensama7718]

I think the term is useful, but it's should be reserved for academic discussions or at least abstracted discussions. It's supposed to be used to show how people with particular experiences can bring value and perspective to discussions, but laymen often take it to mean 'only people with x lived experience can speak on x, forever and always and fuck you if you disagree' which is just goofy lol

[@imyournme6632]

1:22:10 That speaks for Destinys point that we have to consider sensibility about trauma differently with different people. Because if they had done that they may have checked in on her sister more carefully.

[@etherealnine]

She just twisted his words and heard what she wanted to hear him say to validate her point. She is a prime example of why people with personal experience doesn't mean they're the best people to discuss an issue with. They can talk about their personal experience and that's it, anything else related and they are way too emotionally charged to have a fruitful conversation with.

[@Arturo-Chacon]

What do you mean "actually gets mad?" He almost always gets mad.

[@topfragger]

lmao you can tell your a hasan viewer

[@slimy6316]

​@@topfragger bro you sound cringe af rn

[@paulssebanakitta860]

Ever heard of click bait?

[@TheSaintwrestler904]

I hate Hasan but agree with arturo

[@3self]

@@TheSaintwrestler904same

[@baronwynter6536]

It's not her lived experience, it's her brothers. So she is arguing for someone else. It sounds like he's downplaying getting jumped. 1v1 is different than 3+ people suddenly attacking you at once.

[@tombullard6167]

That's the biggest problem she claims to exhibit toxic masculinity but immediately takes her brothers anecdote at the most basic surface level instead of actually thinking. This is a relative & a man so maybe he isnt being 100% vulnerable & open with me since that's what is taught to men in society since birth. It's crazy to me to talk like your thoughtful & open minded to immediately dismiss what you'd see in anyone else's anecdotes. Obviously her bro didn't open up to her & maybe rightfully so... But I guarantee 99% of men who have been jumped or sucker punched or just lost a fight have trauma they don't share bc it's not acceptable to be that vulnerable in masculine environments. Gangs, sports, friend groups, work, classmates or whatever it may be, men will 100% deny the trauma of the experience bc society has conditioned us to see it as undesirable trait to be "weak" admitting your mental trauma. I have personal experiences that counter Brittany "men being jumped" take & know others that are far enough along in their mental health to share their experiences & it's 100% matched the men not opening up or admitting it then it dealing with it personally internally instead of admitting to being affected, traumatized, or a massive effect on the male mental health.

[@b23beatz]

She literally said people may not realize something is traumatizing and then later says he doesn't consider it trauma... Sooo which is it how does she know he isn't traumatized and doesn't realize

[@En-Beet]

Or like destiny talked about, he has experience with that kind of things so he can brush it of easier. Like in His example of promiscious and conservative women maybe having different response to sexual trauma because of their experiences with said subject

[@master11050]

There are two people. One is sexually liberated and the other sexually conservative. Both get assaulted. Both will have horrible experiences. That said, Destiny's argument is that the conservative one may have additional issues related to being conservative that the liberated one doesn't experience, despite both still having a horrible experience.

[@deensama7718]

This is actually the most based, correct, and beautifully simple way to lay out that scenario. Also, let me just say that it also serves as an example of why Destiny & Brittany really need to take like an hour to read a basic text about intersectionality, because once you understanding the basic premise of it, it becomes so much easier to draw up examples of intersections of trauma for people or even just factors that might complicate treatment

[@edwardhim2276]

​@@deensama7718 to be fair destiny mentions trauma is intersected by multiple things at around 11:15

[@mharris4264]

I never realized there was so much confusion with the word "jumped". Though I understand his definition generally I think people use "jumped" if there is more than one person attacking one person.

[@Macheako]

You get “ambushed” by a group of people looking to rob / harm you….. It’s a pretty universal definition ❤

[@mharris4264]

@@Macheako when Destiny initially defined it he didn't indicate more than one person. He spoke as though any ambush is a jump. Brittany's story of her brother came after. Sorry if their convo was hard to follow .🥰

[@master11050]

I've also always heard it referred to as multiple attackers.

[@TheFlyestNihilist]

It always amazes me that the people who worry about people not understanding Destiny's message are the ones who don't understand it at all

[@onZampie]

1:15:08 Holy shit this made me so angry lol. Brittany misunderstood and misconstrued what Destiny said because she is too personally invested in this topic, not because he was unclear in anything he said. Then when she fails to point out anything that he said that was incorrect, she does the "well you could have worded things better" thing. No. You should not have twisted what he said in the first place. And then to tell him "your yelling :)" as if shes the one trying to have a good faith conversation. ugh.

[@callum6224]

Then again at 1:20:00 ish, holy fuck

[@ryanjones3043]

Did I hear one of those girls say that people that are resilient are those that have lived a privileged life? Who are these people and where have they lived? Resiliency by definition is how well you respond and bounce back from pain……. You have to have to develop that and you develop it through encountering pain not living a privileged life. Unbelievable

[@ghdsdsdfgh]

Hypervigilance doesn't develop through a priveledged life. Sure going through hard shit can make you resilient, but there's a limit. If you've been through enough hard shit, especially in childhood, it isn't necessarily going to make you resilient, chances are you're going to be more sensitive and reactive to things that trigger / remind you of that shit. Most of the homeless people/junkies you see on the street have lived the hardest lives and the worst childhoods. They're not homeless junkies because too much adversity makes you stronger, they're junkies because too much adversity breaks you.

[@ryanjones3043]

@@ghdsdsdfgh oh certainly. It’s this fine balance right. Like the right type of pressure develops resilience and a bunch of other great attributes but an over abundance or the wrong types of adversity can destroy a person. That’s what’s so interesting about some of the training the elite SOF guys do. They have these programs set up to bring you right to the edge of breaking (so close that they have doctors looking you over daily) and in doing so they create these really incredible attributes but…… there’s also a lot of people that get messed up. My coach growing up was a seal in the 80s and 90s and by the time I was in high school in the 00s he couldn’t wrestle with me anymore because his knees were gone. They would make him walk with a team straddling a telephone pole between their legs. It’s a balance but no adversity creates nothing good…… ever

[@blubirdhill2608]

Sheesh that part rubbed me the wrong way... It's the exact opposite of what they were saying. I think one of them later insinuated later that it meant being privileged enough to afford therapy, etc... Or something. Either way, they're suffering from a serious disconnect from reality.

[@keenanschouten2582]

It's like asking, would a Navy Seal be less traumatized by seeing a violent death than a kindergarten teacher? Obviously.

[@niropaxum958]

man she can go on and on and say nothing.

[@cipherenigma]

"Alot of people were confused by his (Destiny's) statements" Basic Gaslighting 101

[@Gryffisnmore]

As someone who is diagnosed bipolar, Brittany is the type of person to make her whole personality revolve around her diagnosis or therapy.

[@fy_tv]

Surprisingly, for someone who comes across as cold, his reaction appears to be influenced by how he perceives what a 'friend' thinks of him. Interestingly enough, it is he who is getting hurt by her interpretation of his words.

[@deeky1239]

Yep she's playing the victim in all this with no reason to, she's being a bad friend.

[@aaronyayger]

Yes, I think it's pretty evident that's what he's mad about and he's not remotely trying to hide it. He says that's what he's mad about? Is this supposed to be an own?

[@pepefrog6032]

Brittany is usually so collected, it's sad she got emotionally compromised so early on and really wouldn't engage.

[@dante19890]

shes a woman, she just do a better job than most keeping her emotion in check

[@note4note804]

I guess you could say he burst her bubble.

[@bigdadybojangls9219]

@@dante19890bro I bet you punch holes in your wall when you lose in call of duty. People in general suck at keeping their emotions in check.

[@DeadpoolX9]

@@bigdadybojangls9219 I do martial arts and play music to discharge “excess energy” and it did take me a long time to get a handle on that.

[@USMNT1913]

@@dante19890 Tell us you don’t get laid without telling us you don’t get laid.

[@younggod5230]

How can she overlook the fct that promiscuity is a personality difference? She said, "different people might not be traumatised as much" completely overlooking the fact that promiscuity might be a repevant, systematic difference

[@sociallyenginerd8846]

"Promiscuity" has historically *recent history- not many moons ago* been used to lessen the blow to the victim in the court of public opinion. That's such an early 2000's mindset that was fought against successfully circa 2015, and to hear smart people think that there's any connection between how one feels about choosing to have sex v. being r-d is a throwback. I've been on both sides fundie family/college me. Believing in a higher power and that god has predetermined your life and that everything happens for a reason is a *very* powerful thing. It's possible Destiny's just wrong about this and there are factors he hasn't considered.

[@nighthowell]

We were about due for a bridge burning…time is a flat circle.

[@somethingelse1339]

I haven't finished this tbf but Brittany's credibility is plummeting right now

[@RS-fy9hb]

Ignore the moron above me, but yes. She doesn't seem equipped to debate this objectively at all, and it doesn't seem to improve throughout the video.

[@thegamingkitchen8429]

Lol

[@deeky1239]

@Tyler Banns When you're the denominator... lol.

[@deeky1239]

@Tyler Banns I haven't been sexually assaulted multiple times?

[@note4note804]

She had credibility?

[@lirruping]

The sexual component of rape complicates the response to it, but its only (or even primary) violation is not necessarily "sexual": rape is a more wholistic violation which can impact almost every aspect of sense of self. Any event obviously might have varying effects on different people, but the idea that any particular attitude toward sex ("liberated", "conservative", etc.) will tend to experience more or less trauma from rape misses the point that rape is not primarily a sexual experience. Comparing traumatic events is of limited value and tends to be fraught with confusion, but if I had to make a comparison I'd say that rape is less like getting jumped and closer to getting jumped and then physically and psychologically tortured.

[@petalchild]

THIS! Thank you. So many of the people commenting are so obtuse.

[@danielschetrompf1861]

eurodite can be such a yes man

[@sherryanne2287]

27:23 "as your like, hopefully, friend" lmao

[@kabutoex2]

hmmm it just seemed like it was easier for Brittany to understand erudite than destiny here when they both kinda made the same point

[@Visciouscirce]

Even if someone “doesn’t consider it traumatizing” they could still be experiencing trauma responses after the event. Trauma isn’t the even itself, it’s the response to the after. The changes in the brain are: during the event we go into the survival mode or the fight or flight part switches on in our autonomic nervous system, it dumps a bunch of chemicals into our bodies, when we don’t metabolize them, trauma/ptsd develops. Trauma develops when the threat is over but our brain still thinks it’s happening so we are persistently stay in fight or flight vs in our resting state or are taken back there by Sensory fragment memories aka triggers. When we experience a reminder of the even our brain still experiences it as in the here and now, not in the past. As a result of the trauma, The communication has been disrupted between the part of the brain that lets us know where are and time and the fight or flight response. This is just a super basic explanation of it, if you really want to know read: The body keeps the score by Bessel van der kolk

[@secondengineer9814]

It's interesting listening to Destiny say he trusts Brittany completely, then to listen to how mad she seems at the start of this. I'm going to listen closely to she her emotional maturity in action.

[@Crissybooable]

. Just because you don’t act like a robot on some topics doesn’t mean your not emotionally mature . It’s how you handle disagreements afterwards

[@chasebales6776]

32:05 Did I misunderstand or did she say resilience is only built through having a good life? Most people I know personally that are resilient had a rough life and they used that as fuel to build themselves. It was either that or sink to the bottom.

[@tobiastalks1070]

Brittany just seems totally willing to explore how people are individuals who have unique experiences but totally unwilling to explore how those unique experiences might amplify the effect of certain traumas.

[@davethebrahman9870]

When ‘trauma’ becomes social currency, you should expect ‘trauma inflation’.

[@chrislastname1994]

In no world is getting jumped the same thing as a fight.

[@kenn4579]

"the difference is that I'm a man" bro I'm frucking rolling🤣

[@igormikuska4369]

1:23:11 even individualy, when you have a person go through some traumatic event at different times in a similar way, you should not treat it the same, it requires differing seriousness and you can even catagorize it to them in their life expiriences.

[@Magibatproductions]

22:54 I would have tapped out at this point. I just couldn't be bothered after that. She's not even a little interested in engaging. I don't know how Destiny does it. I don't even know if I could put up with this shit if I was making as much as him. Making content like this is not worth my sanity.

[@endlessrecurrence3173]

I think the only confusion that really showed itself, was that destiny's used as an example sexually liberated women vs sexually repressed/conservative women, this probably triggered her, because it's very close to her. If he had made it more clear, that this is only an example of an abstracted thought, i think it would be clearer in Brittany's mind. And i agree with destiny that it was surprising seeing Brittany be so uncharitable towards him.

[@thecs64]

Right. She's saying he's making an argument when he's just asking a question.

[@pauliePwalnuts]

Gang members absolutely experience PTSD. Check out Chicago native G Herbos hit album titled PTSD. One of the last things we got from Juice Wrld.

[@Gummymonkey79]

Her brother was technically “jumped” but he was able to walk away from it It’s not severely getting jumped where an ambulance was needed I think that’s what Destiny meant I’ve seen mfs who don’t even come outside anymore from getting jumped into critical care

[@Stop_Gooning]

"Getting jumped" just means you were accosted unexpectedly; you're not any less "jumped" just because they didn't _also_ assault or rob you. I got jumped by a vegan activist at the grocery store. I was grabbing a steak off the shelf and when I turned around they yelled "meat is murder" right in my face.

[@DavidJones-ot8qu]

@@Stop_Gooning why r u dying on this hill. this is the equivalent of someone trying to correct the use of literally even after the official definition changed, ur world is outside of the colloquial

[@Gummymonkey79]

@@Stop_Gooning colloquially no one would ever consider getting yelled at in the face as getting “jumped” Wtf are you talking about

[@Stop_Gooning]

​@@DavidJones-ot8qu If a guy jumps out and says "give me your wallet" is he jumping you?

[@Stop_Gooning]

@@Gummymonkey79 If two guys jump out of an alley and start yelling at you, you wouldn't say you're being jumped? The fight that happens afterward is separate from the "jumping"

[@permsy5716]

Getting jumped implys an element of getting snuck up on/ struck from behind 4v1 etc. her brother not expecting a fight then pulling over to have a fight is not getting jumped. If your aware and then engage 1v1 2v2 that is a fight and all fights begin because of a disagreement (getting cut off in this example)

[@DreadRobertz]

That was the Laviest Brittany has ever sounded

[@CrilpFlorp]

Guys I just beat the Bed of Chaos in Dark Souls in 5 tries

[@endlesschris1834]

They need to define trauma because thats where they're missing each other

[@Rhenkei]

I think something that shows Trauma can be ranked is with physical abuse from your parents, some people grow up and view their beatings from their parent as the worst thing that impacted them when they were a child, while others view it as something that wasnt that serious and it actually helped them as an adult, regardless of what you think about physical abuse from parents, this still shows we “rank” trauma as “less severe” or as “more severe”. So we need to rank trauma to understand which are more impactful to society and to a person to get an understanding of what impacted them the most. I’m pretty sure to some degree people who study, interview and work with serial killers are always trying to get an understanding of what happened in their life to draw where the reason they do heinous murders and there’s always a main incident or situation that causes their crimes while other incidents aren’t as impactful.

[@swaggermahdood6596]

As someone who’s also read a lot of psychology material, Brittany is 100000% wrong and it’s kind of weird that she’s so scared to engage with the universally accepted thought that all trauma is relative. Even the way people deal with trauma is relative. There’s PTSD and there’s also Post Traumatic Growth. Very gross conversation

[@RS-fy9hb]

@@Anne-pj7ny her unwillingness to accept medical consensus is what's being referred to as weird. But even then, even if you were a psychologist, behavior of other people can always be weird, it's not like reading psychology material necesssrily gives an insight into other people's behavior, especially given the fact thag these people aren't exactly a good example of "normal" people.

[@GG-kn2se]

@@RS-fy9hb Psychology is a deeply flawed science (many psychologists don’t even believe it’s a science at all) changing every day and being debated upon constantly so it’s not really inappropriate to disagree with “medical consensus”. There’s room for discussion. Edit: changing every day is a figure of speech. you know, hyperbole.

[@FilipeG96]

@@GG-kn2se Can you give me examples of psychology changing every day? It is very much scientific and there are tons of psychological concepts, models, psychotherapeutic models and techniques, etc etc consistently and empirically corroborated over several years/decades (e.g. the OCEAN model of personality, tons of strong correlational and causal relations between for example attachment styles, symptomatology, disorders, personality, coping strategies, cognitive distortions, the efficacy of exposure therapy for anxiety disorders, efficacy of cognitive reestructuring, efficacy of CBT, DBT, EFT, EMDR, ACT and many many other approaches for treatment).

[@JimC607]

@@GG-kn2se Changing every day? I think that's a bit of a stretch.

[@OQFaust]

@@GG-kn2se Nope, not true. Most of psychological research is factual and isn"t "changing" every day. If you say that psychology is abstract, then sure but so was the foundation of mathematics and its axioms/principles. A field can be abstract by nature but that doesn't necessarily take away from its capacity to be "proven" through scalability, replicability and results of its researches (which there are plenty of). I mean, if we go by your statement, then therapy is a fluke and people just randomly get better without any sort of replicability and scalibility. And the field has evolved to a point (thanks to the intersection of fields aka neuroscience, evolutionary biology, etc...) where we understand as to how and why emotions, (something that is quite subjective) can induce psychosomatic symptoms (objective consequences) like twitches, muscle-related issues, digestive problems, and so on... Not being able to see the thread between something "abstract" and hard to define as it dabbles with human subjectivity doesn't make it any less real or factual.

[@klaymen22]

He was as precise about language as he needed to be, people just don't have a regular human level of comprehension. straight-up. Brittany talks about the stuff so casually that I genuinely don't think it was her closeness to the issue, I think it was just really easy to blame afterwards, not in any purposeful way. He's really got to just drop these things when they happen. He can't keep wasting his energy relitigating the "Sometimes people will misunderstand things" stuff.

[@alsalcal]

In destinys convo w/ brittany about being less or more traumatized based on promiscuity, destiny is neglecting the fact that trauma around r*** is not comparable to feeling shame around the other sexual acts he compared it to (such as squirting). Trauma around r*** does not generally come from the sexual act itself, but rather from the loss of control/autonomy, feeling unsafe, being used, being physically injured etc. Having consenual sex a million times would not inherently make that loss of autonomy any less traumatic bc consensual sex has nothing to do with a loss of autonomy, etc. And the comparison to "if you got robbed a 2nd time it wouldnt be as traumatic..." is not good because again, having sex is not the same as r***, so having sex does not desensitize you to r***. (And an unintended consequence of framing it this way-- which isnt the reason i disagree, but worth noting-- the implication is that r**ing someone who is promiscuous is not as bad bc it will be less traumatic for them).

[@petalchild]

Yes, thank you.

[@Sacredsnow2]

They're like "you're yelling tho" and don't understand that you're yelling because you're extremely frustrated over continually being misunderstood because they're trying to read into your statements instead of taking them at face value. Especially after both parties have repeatedly reconciled and understood that you want your words to be taken at face value. Then they proceed to read into it again. You're just repeatedly explaining the same thing and theyre like, yea I get it. Then proceeds to not get it BROTHER

[@bowmigow9893]

I usually don't comment on videos but this is triggering me, to help as many ppl as possible it is good to have a baseline of how much trauma you are going through after certain types of events so that when you do go seek help from professionals, they have a starting point that isn't fucking zero. Additionally, if we do make a hierarchy of trauma experiences, it will be based on generalities, which intrinsically means it will apply to a lot of people, also meaning you can help people faster as you understand where they are at mentally faster. Damn

[@bowmigow9893]

Just like for physical trauma, we have a baseline and we know which types of injury hurt more than others, but ofc all cases are particular

[@zacharypew8391]

5 minutes in, "my brother would say it was just another fight. He got JUMPED by 3 guys and got into a fight, but he wouldn't say he was jumped. " she is saying being jumped is one thing but then uses it perfectly accidentally by saying my brother was jumped by 3 guys.

[@rooneyjagoboo]

She has Empathy ? *getting jumped , you’re on the floor there’s more than one and they’re about to start kicking . Your face starts getting booted . how anyone can’t see that as traumatic obviously hasn’t spoken to enough people yet - you have to go fetal , all is stripped from you . Things don’t become less horrific because someone else’s trauma is seen as more than . -‘ having a fight’ although distressing Seems more descriptive of an equal combat situation Getting jumped , can end in brain damage , broken teeth Her only frame of reference is a brothers experience Disapointed in her inability to see in someone else foofin bubble .

[@tombullard6167]

Not only that but claiming to know she exhibits toxic masculinity traits you would think she would recognize that her brother was probably downplaying the experience or giving her what was acceptable by societal standards so she should have known her brother was probably not sharing his true feelings, experience, & trauma with her bc as men we are taught not to do so bc we would appear weak. So it's just mind blowing that for being so open minded & empathetic she couldn't spot the most obvious signs of toxic masculinity rearing its head right off rip

[@muchachogrande2019]

The only time I've ever been jumped I was insanely lucky, and I've been convinced by everyone that's ever known the story.. insanely stupid. You're absolutely right that you're immediately reduced to nothing but an object of somebodys anger and the only thing you should do is curl up in the fetal position and not fight back. I say this and know it whole heartedly because everyone calls me a dumbass and they're not proud of think I'm a badass or anything like that. But when I was jumped at some point I reached a small 2x4 on the ground and swung as hard as I could and connected with one of their eyes or eyelid or something. In retrospect after people told me, I realize if I hadn't connected hard enough in just the right spot to cause a bleed that was enough to be dramatic and freak the right guy out and that he was likely the one running the show etc, they would have likely taken that board and used it on me and it would have been much worse. I'm saying this because it's obvious that I was insanely stupid and lucky and even having had that lucky outcome, I would recommend everyone take care to remember when there's already multiple people actively inflicting violence on you, you're not a human, you're a nothing and antagonizing those peope by fighting back is more likely to lead to your death than your salvation.

[@rooneyjagoboo]

I’ve known a couple of guys who were jumped , the one beaten by a group of bouncers as he was fumbling at the wrong door to get back into a club .It affected him for years , couldn’t see beauty in anything and was pretty much a git to everyone else to restore balance or get his own back . Tom ~ clearly shows that unless she has a ,’lived experience’ she’s got no idea . I didn’t have to have my head stomped in to comprehend how terrifying that is . Muchacho - I understand your friends concern , they would’ve only escalated and so in this instance I’m glad you got to piece of wood first , but yes the advice to lie there and take it , though sensible - is incredibly dehumanising to have to do . We’ve had instances here of both men and females - killing when they get hyped into a ‘jumping someone’ . It’s Terrifying .

[@muchachogrande2019]

@@rooneyjagoboo that's the thing I always come back to. I sit here as a rational person and think about how far someone has to be off the reservation to blindside and attack someone, let alone for multiple people to decide they're going to do that together. If anyone can get into the headspace where they're legitimately considering doing something like that, killing someone is absolutely a very real possibility.

[@rooneyjagoboo]

@@muchachogrande2019 absolutely , brutality to me is magnified hugely as soon as it’s more than one , you hope that even if yes -one person can lose the plot and do a horrendous thing , but when another agrees to do that too and another it seems so much worse .

[@samuelblackmon]

Here is a mistake I think Destiny made. Towards the end of his conversation with Brittany she clarified his stance but it is worth clarifying that this is not a stance but rather a hypothesis. Explanatory framework -> hypothesis awaiting data. Once the data confirms or disconfirms the hypothesis it either supports or challenges the theoretical framework. The way forward is to come up with some ideas for how to quantify trauma (certainly a difficult problem), try to construct some theoretical frameworks for the hypothesis and the null hypothesis, gather the data, and reflect how it damages or supports the various frameworks. Destiny is putting his chips (describing the framework supporting the hypothesis) on the hypothesis that sexually liberated women have a lower trauma response but it would be good science and optics to describe alternative frameworks. Otherwise people confuse your hypothesis and theory with a stance.

[@jipen]

she though he said " ALL! Sexually liberated women take it better " it's insane.. she actually though he said that.. i can't imagine her beliving he said a worse thing. She might as well belived that he said raping women is fun and it's good at that point NO ONE! serius has ever said ALL of "inport any group" is something ever

[@RickyAceRozay]

I’m new to this type of content but I can’t imagine reading all these comments/ chats or community threads idk what it’s called but that shit would make me go insane

[@JohnSmith-eo2yx]

Brittany loves the idea of violence it's wild

[@juanmejiagomez5514]

Ehh, some people get really excited when shit is about to go down, maybe they watch too much anime, maybe they’re just adrenaline junkies. Personally I get the appeal, which is why I want to start doing combat sports, but fighting in a ring or a cage against a single unarmed opponent with a referee and medics isn’t the same as being assaulted by multiple thugs, possibly armed, being advantaged by the surprise factor. I feel like when they talk about getting jumped Brittany seems to refer to “street fighting”, which is like people having some kind of beef, squaring up and throwing down (which seems to be more about pride and ego), whereas Destiny seems to refer to being attacked out of nowhere and not have as much of a chance to fight back, given that you’re caught by surprise. I haven’t watched the whole video yet so I’ll see if I got it right

[@benevolentbaphomet]

Everyone loves violence.

[@JohnSmith-eo2yx]

@@juanmejiagomez5514 They talked more about it in their previous convo before this.

[@MrThuggzBunney]

Seriously, in my own experience violence is legit TERRIFYING on a primal level the only excitement is the adrenaline dump, but it's utterly horrifying (in my anecdote seeing a friend get shot)

[@sub-harmonik]

unless it's fighting back against a rapist

[@AlwaysReason]

"The pain occurs at same level, for different reasons" - this CANNOT be true. I have had exactly the same thing happen to me 2 years ago and 3 days ago. 2 years ago I was devastated. 3 days ago I just moved it aside and was done with it. Luckily, she didn't say that, because 2 mins later she said something totally different, which sounded like the exact opposite of what she said before. Edit: then 2 mins later, she goes with: "body keeps the trauma" - what? how? does the body have separate brain? And are we not back at the beginning, where now this totally different thing that was said no longer holds?

[@ZlatanZizou]

First time(live) listening to it it came off as both parties missing each other, but with this intruiging mashup it became more clear that both parties are wanting to have a different disscussion, but mostly simon introducing herself to the conversation without taking a objective or non subjective perception of it, thus the hardship and conflict i think. Great work of Erudite to be so detached in a sense :p but yeah that happens to reinforce destiny’s perception and makes me understand that from my perspective steven was more accurate overall

[@ZlatanZizou]

Perhaps i be way off with this but Brittany showing more «wisdom» througout this interaction, and Steven WAY MORE intellect.. not able to quantify what their levels are at in anyway with this video :p but i thin destiny showed a better performance overall despite coming off rethorically poor :p

[@RS-fy9hb]

@@ZlatanZizou what was rhetorically poor about this? The only thing I saw was Brittany contradicting herself, and saying that she didn't say what Destiny repeated to her that she did indeed say. It looked like she was all over the place, and reframed Destiny to the point where she was strawmanning him. I entirely missed any good points that she was making, that hadn't been considered before? It was very clear that she wasn't ready to have an objective conversation about this topic.

[@mharris4264]

I think It happened when Destiny moved "likely wouldn't be as traumatized" "wouldn't be as traumatized". It then cam off as "if you like sex then grape won't be as big as a deal when compared to someone else". Though the logic doesn't follow because sometimes having a lot of sex could be a trauma response. But then he reframed it from promiscuous women to sexually liberated, which I don't think he realized is another conversation. So when notsoerudite says we don't have a the language to speak about an issue, I think she means they don't speak well enough in general.

[@AlbinoWhiteGuy]

It’s funny Brittany was the one that called Destiny her friend during their discussion. Even though she claimed Destiny thought they were closer than they were.

[@darnellismyname4011]

1:18:34 is Destiny's fatal flaw that leads to most of his burned bridges.

[@thegamingkitchen8429]

Haha

[@nop58653]

2:04 okay so just to clarify getting jumped is when you lose a fight against three or more

[@Darkmortal100]

This is a great example about how men can't talk about trauma publicly

[@nighthowell]

Sometimes I imagine Fuentes watching clips like these and just shaking his head & laughing

[@tomkeenoyy]

Going back and rewatching this is like watching the start of a car accident