Dieting | Michael McIntyre

[@matthewherndon6488]

“THEY DON’T GIVE YOU ANY FOOD.” That delivery is amazing.😂

[@gardenjoy5223]

Indeed. "It's scientifically proven, that withholding intake and accelerating excretion shows a profound and weighing result."

[@johokeen1]

Yes, a real gut 👊😅😂. He is so brilliant with his punchlines.

[@leporellothegoldfinch]

As an Austrian, the concept of foreigners coming here to diet is simply bizarre. Our entire cuisine consists of meat in various states, and sugary confections!

[@beckymurphy4714]

*books ticket to Austria*

[@silentlynx5777]

Austria is the best! Partly cause of the food but it’s beautiful too 😁

[@peterosborne8315]

Leporello the Goldfinch - Birdtaming Tips & Tricks kaisserschmarm man (I know I butchered that)

[@jenniferhollingsworth1275]

Becky Murphy, um, just wondering, well, are there any more tickets available on that flight?

[@r.r.r9746]

All potatoes and meat...in Austria

[@simgekarabulut4362]

I watch Michael when I'm feeling really down and he never fails to make me laugh

[@aleynamutlu4206]

Don’t you feel something is missing though ?

[@bearvillebear1468]

Keep strong. Dont forget that despite the struggles in this world, God is full of justice, mercy and love. Justice said we broke His perfect law - causing the world's previous perfection to be destroyed - and therefore we deserve Hell (like a punishment in any legal system but this is eternal as His perfect law is eternal too). Don't think you fit in that category? Ever done one of these?: lying, stealing - regardless of how small the object EVER, hating others - which is murder in God's perfect law, lusting (plus God sees our entire thought life). Justice says "the soul that sins shall die" - if we break one in thought/word/deed it's as if we're guilty of all of them. Quite simply, living by the law (which is doing everything perfectly) is impossible for sinful humans . The law shows us that 1. We will die in Hell if we fail to follow it and 2. We cannot save ourselves BUT, 3. God's perfect, immovable law points us to Christ, who followed and fulfilled the law in thought, word and deed perfectly in our place. He did what we couldn't and did it on our behalf. He was then sentenced to death on a cross, and took our personal punishment for our sin, paying our penalty (like paying our fine) completely FOR us, and has given us freedom. If we turn from the sins we have committed and repent (pursue the opposite direction of love through Christ) He will, overtime, recreate us back into that previously perfect image through The Holy Spirit which Jesus sends to all who accept Him as their personal Lord and Savior of their life. He will help us through the struggle, the stress, and anything we experience in the world. It's about letting Christ in to guide and teach you and obeying Him through His power (not ourselves, we need Him to help us as it's impossible without depending on His power and instruction). He is our substitute in His life, death and resurrection. He essentially rewrote history in our place so that, if you believe in Him, it will be as if you had never sinned if you accept Christ's death as our own in our place. He is in Heaven right now preparing a place for us so that He can take His faithful, believing children home with Him when He returns. He will ressurrect us from death when He returns, giving mercy to those who accept His love, instruction and teachings in their life, and give justice to those who refuse it. He doesn't want ANY of us to go to Hell and die for continuing in evil and rejecting His way to life, thats why He died FOR us. Hes giving EVERYONE a chance, He wants everyone to take the free gift of salvation from Hell. He wants us to be His and begin to follow His life of love and service through His power and abiding (staying) with Him. So long as we keep our hearts near to Christ through His strength, strive to follow His will of perfect love revealed in the Bible, and let Him lead in the midst of (very certain) pitfalls and struggles, we will, in time, win the ultimate victory over sin, pain and DEATH through Christ. Even if you are willing to be made willing, pray for Jesus to come in and He will do what we can't. Give us The Holy Spirit who will guide us in the right way. NOTE: You are NEVER too sinful or messed up that God cannot turn your life around through Jesus. EVER. Regardless of what you've done or what you're going through you CAN make it through Jesus. If you have any questions let me know Xx

[@aviationlba747]

This man is nothing short of... a genius.

[@lolwalker8192]

Aviation LBA this man is nothing but short...

[@aviationlba747]

Good observation.

[@pww7872]

A fat transgendered genius? 🤔 Have a closer look at her... 👍

[@dh1380]

Fuck right off

[@portcullis5622]

Must be a definition of the word genius that I have never come across.

[@kellysong2256]

Just discovered this guy..(I'm American).. and he's fantastic 😍 I can't stop watching his video clips. Britain is lucky to have him!!

[@maxinereed7667]

He is a genius

[@lilianabartosi7356]

I adore this man! He is sincere and direct ;the jokes are so funny and i never get tired listening to them! He is FUNNY and so expressive! 👋👋👋👋

[@AmasBansalArt]

McIntyre's physical comedy is unmatched. Hilarious.

[@AmasBansalArt]

@M3rlin ohh good one. He's a bit frantic for my taste though.

[@MrBloodyBat]

Jim Carry and Robin Williams did a good job at it too ;)

[@charluvstrue]

Amas Bansal Art absolutely! 🤣🤣

[@unkontrollierttv3991]

Rowan Atkinson

[@RumeshaJeyavudeen]

I’m afraid to go to any of his shows since I might literally die from laughter

[@jodie12347]

I've been and i swear i was sobbing from laughing so hard

[@ellad2223]

Yato

[@hotbambi2010]

Rumesha Jeyavudeen oh believe me it happens to me both times I’ve seen him live I have laughed so much I cry and cant breath the man sitting in front of me ask if I was ok Soooo embarrassing

[@SparklingDiva1111]

@@hotbambi2010 Hahaha, how funny! I know the feeling, I sometimes have that at home watching him. Sometimes have to pause the vid so I can catch my breath again. I'd also fear how I'd fare seeing him in RL.

[@ilovesuisse1]

I just watched this on dieting and i laughed so much i needed a tissue. It’s the second time i’ve watched this and it still makes me laugh so much.

[@ShreetuShah]

Best explanation of metabolism, ever!

[@zjzjzjhhz966]

Its a fake one using megabolism as an excuse. I have a thyroid disorder and i have a very healthy weight. Not 'Skelatol' and most certinally notna vegan that uses suplementation to counteract unhealthy decicent lifestyles.

[@mixedamvs8869]

“Don’t be too happy, this is a temporary situation” me though 😂

[@yeowcharlie]

I swear, the part where Michael figuratively spoke about the metabolism, it reminds me of the movie Inside Out.. Anyone?

[@triggerwarning3708]

Yup

[@pww7872]

He has the metabolism of a female. Because she is one.. 👍

[@sourdemon]

@@pww7872 wtf. No he isn't you idiot.

[@ryanm8808]

No it doesn’t !

[@ryanm8808]

I’ve never seen it

[@desiertoscacti5388]

If there is one stand up comedian who makes me laugh with things I actually wanted to cry before, because he just has the ability to turn everyday trouble suddenly turn out to be realized and accepted as things to laugh with, it is him and only him! Sending you so much love and respect Michael, thank you for the laughs, you are literally saving me each time I watch these videos! I would so want to see you live, maybe tour around Europe sometime and visit Greece? I know you've been to Corfu, but I would LOVE to see you on stage omg! Or perhaps I will come there! LOL

[@aronettegarfinkel7424]

Whenever I'm down, all I have to do is watch one of his videos and I'm laughing out loud! Thank you, Michael!

[@farahsali1]

Love him for his clean good humour. 10/10

[@miladyblue5077]

My stomach was speaking to my friend's husband's stomach, while my friend sat between us. It sounded like the sound production studio for Jurassic Park. She finally got upset and said, "Would you two please eat something? You're making me nervous!"

[@aaroncwilliam5562]

Milady Blue 😂😂😂 rofl

[@rewrose2838]

Your friend got jealous, her stomach wants in on the conversation 😂

[@postcardsfromgeorgia4294]

🤣😂🤣

[@gayled3059]

You just made me laugh as much as I do at Michael's stuff!

[@Tilion462]

If Ackle Ackinkacker never sorted his mouth out, Michael would have lost a lot more weight by now...

[@sharonmullins1957]

Hahaha!

[@matthewrandell5055]

What?

[@zaraloves8420]

Matthew Randell Ackle Ackinkacker is referring to another one of Michael McIntyre’s jokes. It’s about his trip to the dentist and I won’t spoil it to you but I seriously think that is one of his best works. It’s what got me interested in him in the first place.

[@kirnpu]

I needed oxygen after watching his dentist skit. Utterly hysterical!

[@smlfan2087]

I never laughed so hard as when he was doing that comedy bit. It was the funniest shit ever.

[@simonstevens8130]

Spotlight dude needs a raise

[@juice0201]

Defo

[@maureneschlosz6404]

This has to be the most hilarious show I have watched so far. I am crying with laughter. He is bloody brilliant

[@lesrogers7310]

Thank you for these clips Micheal, they always cheer me up.

[@MariaRodriguez-ez9sj]

I ABSOLUTELY love him!! On my bucket list to one day attend a show

[@stellasun3872]

Love his clean humor! So rare these days….

[@marcusrakyat8891]

Michael never fail us when he share his lovely story. Love it.

[@szendrich]

I always end up in tears watching Michael McIntyre. My God! I don't know what it is about this man that makes me laugh just by a look. ..LOL It's a gift from the gods.

[@dianeclark1678]

He is so hilarious. Could watch for days. Love him.

[@vivienneoneill5400]

Me too,he is great.❤❤❤❤❤❤

[@teejay5627]

Excellent, love the bit about the dodgy prawn helping. I shed half a stone in a week after a dodgy burger. Wouldn't recommend it though!

[@lee-annebarrett366]

I watch him before going to bed laughing my head of my husband just doesnt get it at all. A good belly laugh is really terrific.

[@dhuniya108]

I too can't understand why my husband doesn't find him funny?! This adorable man is clearly hilarious, and so so endearing!!

[@Jadeskorpion]

Wish Michael could do shows in America.

[@sharonmullins1957]

Me too. Not just NY. Come to Chicago.

[@Jadeskorpion]

Too bad he couldn't tour with Russell Howard next year.

[@dnr2089]

Americans probably wouldn’t get his humour….

[@alexxhristova]

"when lorries reverse, I get a little bit peckish". This is such a British sentence 😂

[@ForFuzziestKitten]

@Thomas Liptrot In American English: "When the semi-trucks (or 18-wheelers) start backing up, I get a little hungry"

[@edinburgerben3216]

We love this guy, travelling dowm to Manchester from Edinbrgh. Wanted to see him for years. Cant wait

[@lainathomas7920]

So fabulous Michael and I just found you last night and you were a funniest funniest funniest comedian I’ve ever come across. You look extremely good with the weight off keep up the good work

[@HadithiAbdulle]

He explained the metabolism better than my instructor 😁

[@fluorescentbubbles6498]

When you pay to not eat food Poor people can’t relate

[@miahi2356]

Yeah that's very sad, legit just work out and eat in moderation.

[@fluorescentbubbles6498]

hen ko lol I’m confused, you talking about the video or me?

[@fluorescentbubbles6498]

Mia M82 I agree, you just need to be more disciplined with yourself, then you’ll be disciplined with food... extreme diets only last so long before you fall back into your true bad habits... It’s like a personal journey... your physical health impacts mental health and vice versa...

[@victoriar9728]

yup, only rich people do that :)

[@evaluna8100]

As someone whose tummy occasionally gets pretty chatty, I literally died laughing!!! 😄😃😂 I am so glad he brought it out into the open... and now we can all have a conversation about the conversations of the stomach. 🤪

[@jckalma7916]

Well let's be honest. You didn't.

[@kristinebellamy5249]

Love these videos. Makes me laugh on the worst of days. Thank you so much, Michael ❤️

[@sharonmullins1957]

He is so hyper on stage, you would think he would be thin.

[@vickicarr48]

So true! He was jumping around all over the stage - and not breathless!

[@ShreetuShah]

Best comment! 🤣

[@gotem6891]

his calves are so muscular though lol

[@lampm4n]

give me food pls as demonstrted earlier tonight on the big show... he had to get someone to pull his trouser legs down after rolling them up to show his calves ksjsksks

[@gotem6891]

@@lampm4n yeah, i know i saw it

[@gardenjoy5223]

Such a fun man. Love his work!

[@mariehocking9607]

Thank you, thank you. Michael. I have been laughing so much I’m crying and my stomach hurts. Xx

[@jc9552]

He is brilliant in his observation skills. 👍

[@blugreen123]

He's so right about the people that work in those health food stores! The employees at the one close to me always look half dead. 😂

[@johokeen1]

😅 get him to watch Michael, he might just perk up with laughter.

[@rheafraser3253]

Haven’t started watching it yet but I already know it’s gonna be good.

[@majakarolini8221]

This just brightens my whole day, thank you Michael

[@vivyrox7202]

He is by far THE FUNNIEST comedian out there. Each time I watch him I literally cry from laughing so hard 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@happyrosym.5103]

You are hilarious! Love your comedy style -very enjoyable. Been watching all different comedians during the lockdown and some of them are such bullies to the audience!!!! It’s almost uncomfortable to watch!

[@AnnaPxx]

I can 100% relate! Love the sound of the hungry tummy!!! 😂

[@ocdchicki]

You are my favorite comedian! So funny. You look really healthy with your weight loss. Good work!

[@Bendijester]

Every time I've ever been TRULY thin, I've been so overwhelmed by hunger that I'm a raving BEAST in a bad mood 24 hours a day and can't sleep! NOT a happy person! No, thank you but I would rather have some extra pounds and my SANITY!

[@MaggieBurgerSmit]

This is one of my favourites! Soooo funny, laughed until my tummy spoke🤣🤣🤣

[@minthu5450]

Everyone beside me: Working Me: f*king dying for laughter and making sure not to make a single sound of laughing

[@emdee7744]

You, sir, are freaking amazing!

[@ViceroyoftheDiptera]

It’s the Mayr Clinic if anyone was wondering

[@Dani_Vintage]

3:43 Michael McIntyre becomes a vocalist in a metal band and is phenomenal at it! 😆😆🥰

[@evatarida]

It is 2 in the morning now here. And I am watching this while snacking hahaha

[@SteelTreeGone]

It’s hard to loose weight, food is so delicious , with the different tastes

[@tammymasson2343]

I was eating breakfast while I watched this - my mistake! I nearly choked on my food several times for laughing so hard!

[@amayastrata4629]

The ad before this video was for chocolate!

[@pfridell8424]

I think this skit and the one about having children are my most favorite ones. he is so damn funny!

[@Jess-ov1ht]

I love Michael's shoulder shimmy. Always hilarious

[@francissiu9549]

He's spot on about the "healthy" people.

[@patrickcampbell957]

Seemed like he was just kinda jealous to me.

[@numbo655]

I knew some fat guy would love that part

[@zjzjzjhhz966]

No, just vegan 'Health shops" that require selling from the pharmcuetical/Chemical indrustry and green poo drinks. The evil 'Meat indrustry" argument goes out the window when you consume organicn grassfed meat which has barley any impact (Or other animal products if your vegetarian) That would fix his weight problem (When he stops consuming sweets) and stops using unhealthy vegans as an excuse.

[@beverleyshevals2749]

Michael is amazing he turns everything funny. One bit related to me keep running to loo. IBS is awful. xx

[@eyr-zh8mh]

my Science teacher told us to watch this i was laughing SO hard

[@sorose1469]

As he’s talking about dieting, I’m here with a bowl of broken Easter eggs and milk haha

[@LaysAvo16]

I'm so glad I'm early. Micheal is life

[@whynot4921]

*Michael

[@aislingrvr]

Can totally empathise with weight loss being a temporary situation 😄 also a stone in a week sounds like something you'd regain very quickly!

[@oliverpoland6083]

I have watched is so many times in always makes me laugh.

[@caseykay2728]

I’ve watched this video over 50 times now and 4:37 still makes me laugh so much 😂😂😭😭

[@fluffycats3460]

My mum says I’m turning into Michael McIntyre 😂. It’s kind of funny because whenever I make a joke I use his accent!

[@Ala-bb5gd]

This was so funny... absolutely hilarious 😂😂😂😂😂 my fav McIntyre comedy routine

[@johokeen1]

Oh, this absolutely vintage Michael 😂😂😂. Surely he must be one of our National Treasures🌟🌟😍👏👏👏

[@Chanaaaaa442]

One of the great one... today all comedian was only curse and make jokes only about one thing.. this one is real talent

[@elkiepops]

I agree it’s the metabolism! Mine stopped, and I’m always hungry too....xxx

[@8888-9]

It’s when I close my eyes And Imagine these events And stomach Pleas for Help - are happening to ME That I crack up I really enjoy Michaels humour!!!😅😅

[@jessface777]

The dieting struggle is real. But this was hilarious!

[@janebraun5838]

He's hystericallly funny. 🤣😂

[@margarettrevor5237]

My tummy is going to shrink whilst listening to Michael McIntyre

[@sierrahunterlewis7677]

I am such a HUGE FAN!! If you come to VEGAS I would LOVE to see your show!! ❣️

[@jamesrobbartist4253]

My favourite all time comedian

[@pope117]

Rolling on the floor laughing now🤣🤣🤣

[@wendydee3088]

I absolutely adore this man! Just wondering if anyone else is using google to find out how to lose 14lbs (1 stone) in a week using epsom salt? Without the fasting lol

[@LewisBrain]

lipo sucktion.

[@persona8657]

Stomach virus

[@valerie4912]

Wendy Dee I was using google to learn what 1 stone is lol I’m Canadian 🤷🏻‍♀️

[@MystiqueHorizon]

@@valerie4912 I forgot the conversion... Lol I'm from BC 🇨🇦

[@valerie4912]

MystiqueHorizon I’m in ontario 😊

[@tsuhary]

That tummy chating had me dying🤣🤣

[@fahadking2442]

You know what I don't appericate the fact that you suddenly upload this video in the first week of my diet are you trying to send me a message

[@TheRoxen92]

the chatty tummy 🤣🤣🤣🤣

[@helenbailey8419]

I will remember that,I've got a chatty tummy.Brilliant.

[@heythropmemories4235]

. I get that. Very disturbing

[@christinechoptij4233]

He is the most hysterical man on this earth.

[@shirellewendymarch5434]

Love Michael Mac 😅 he's so hilarious! 😂👠

[@faribayagoobian7721]

Michael you are a genius !

[@ladyjatheist2763]

Aikel Akenkaker does it again! I love this man!

[@aishawazne]

I think he’s talking about Lanserhof , a medical spa in Austria. It was a HORRIBLE experience to say the least. I feel vindicated! THANK YOU MICHAEL I LOVE YOU

[@rachelembletonpalmer5891]

He's just the funniest at it 😂🤣

[@dianeclark1678]

My best is when he jokes about letting someone in front of you in the traffic. Hahahahahaha!

[@leiladekwatro3147]

Michael: "I want to lose a few pounds" Austrian clinic: "I can help you lose much more than a few pounds."

[@mincastamtam]

When I say "suggested", I mean she bought tickets... 😂😂😂😂

[@gregoryalbert6020]

Best comedian period

[@DoubleDeckerAnton]

There is a guy on 'The Apprentice' on BBC1 who reminds me of you...!!! 😂🤣

[@lefinlay]

The guy on The Apprentice is a LOT more effeminate though 😂😂

[@wayfaringcookie8142]

😂

[@avernion]

Oooh, I’m early. What Madness is this?

[@carolcampbell2041]

I have tears running down my cheeks. Dieting in Austria...so hilarious.

[@HighTen_Melanie]

Hi five fellow dieters 🙌

[@larawabsie]

🙌🏻

[@iisuperstarii7310]

Wow "Sunny Days" and "Summer" under one comment xD

[@larawabsie]

IIsuperstarII Yup! 😂😂☀️

[@АнтоновводкапартияСервисы]

Sixty ninth like

[@dahirali3074]

I'm terrified to see him in RL. I'm sopping just watching this!

[@MindMagician]

LOL! Loving this Michael and sharing! xxx

[@Ritika-Das]

Thank me 3 years later. If you pause the video at 5:03 and tap outside the 《 》 area, Michael does an animation.

[@Beautiful_Redesign]

Michael you look amazing I would never make you lose weight. You're adorable! 😍

[@louiselanthier5135]

I have a funny story! My tummy was making hunger noises and then, it started to meow! I had ordered a pizza and left it on the table while I finished a bit of work on the computer! (Rraow, rraow, meow)! As it turns out, the pizza delivery guy also let a strange cat into my house! It scared the hell out of me!