Discovered my daughter isn't biologically mine after an ancestry test - that could only mean...

Discovered my daughter isn't biologically mine after an ancestry test - that could only mean one thing...
Timestamps -
0:00 - Story 1
11:38 - Story 2
#redditrelationship #redditupdate

[@juanhaines7295]

I heard this one before. This is why mandatory paternity tests need to be legal. This happens more often than you think and before anyone comes at me how would you feel if you learned that your spouse cheated on you and your kids aren't yours?

[@ProPuke]

What would legalising mandatory tests mean?

[@Extebanx14]

​@@ProPukewell paternity fraud would be less common and we'll spouses will know if there significant other was sleeping around. Also could mean that swapping babies would be more hard

[@stupidron7108]

@@ProPuke paternity fraud would be less common, guys wouldn't be paying child support for kids that aren't biologically his just because his name is on the birth certificate (though in some cases men are ordered by court to pay even if he isn't on the birth certificate), and the child can rest easy knowing their dad is their actual dad (look how affected the daughter was when she found out). The next step would be to actually punish women who commit paternity fraud, sucks for the kid but blame no one but the mom.

[@vaxel0068]

​@@ProPuke men would not be paying mandatory child support for a child that's not theirs since they can decline to sign the birth certificate.

[@ProPuke]

okay, so what was meant was _mandating_ the tests in the case of claims? (the dichotomy of legalising vs mandating confused me) I could see that making sense when paternity was a key aspect/assumption (this isn't always the case legally, but that obviously depends on where you are and what laws are). But yeah, for paternity fraud that makes a lot of sense.

[@user-cp1cc1ow8u]

Mandatory paternity at birth.

[@Atajew]

Guy's wife literally babytrapped him with a child that wasn't even his to begin with and he's literally moving past all that?? Holy shit

[@dezmodium]

Love is wild and the girl is 15. He can't drop her to the curb. He is her dad at this point. I can understand his position. I'm in an 18 year marriage. Don't want to imagine cheating and not sure what I'd do.

[@aaronmiles2802]

@@dezmodiumHe’s her father, a DNA test won’t change that. The marriage is most certainly over, only a weak man with no self respect or a fetish would stay in that marriage. They should focus on being good co-parents.

[@dezmodium]

@@aaronmiles2802 yup. After that much time it is what it is. He raised her. Can't change that. Can't abandon those feelings, Can't break that bond. Wife is done, though.

[@toxiczombiewolf5692]

Doormat behaviour poor kid too

[@silverwinterwolf2064]

TBH A DNA Test in a case like this is just a formality really, at the end of the day, Blood Means nothing when it comes to parental hood, truth be told thats more of a case of "Who's Paying Child Support" deal, The real parents are the ones who give that love, support and genuine kindness and happiness to the child they raise, blood related or not. In fact they could really use the DNA Test to find out who the blood father is to get child support off of, but from the looks of they don't wanna do that, nore need to. As for the Wife, Well while on the Husband's side perhaps it could be the cowerdly thing to stay with her, but it also needs to be seen on the daughter's side of things, if the parents were to divorce, at some point the daughter will feel its her own fault for the split, a very common thing in divorcees with kids, if they were to divorce they could potentially leave some trauma on the poor girl. Plus the husband with some help an did alot of digging, there were no signs of any kind of Infidelity for all these years, She truely did the work to make up for the mistake she made, both with evidence to back her up that she hadnt cheated since, and with her working her arse off to be the perfect wife and mother to make up for it, I'd say she's payed her dues at this point.

[@nr1fan4all]

first story: OP had the power to wreck it all but chose peace, man has no enemies. It's also interesting to see a kids perspective to the trauma that divorce is on them, although I think OP should have stepped in between them a bit earlier, he had the power to pacify their relationship a bit. Curious, now that all is in the open and OP chose to forgive, will there be a change in his wifes behavior since the guilt is less? She was the perfect wife because she felt guilty, now what...

[@ianmoritzplatapino3684]

We all know she chose him because he was the stable one, she doesn't love him she loves what he provides. If he stops doing it for whatever reason you will see her true colors and she will bolt faster than the speed of light

[@NeilTruick]

@@ianmoritzplatapino3684 No one is that good of an actor. Playing a role for 15 years? The husband's and daughter's reaction tells you how invested she was in her marriage and her family. We can question her initial motives, but she committed to the both of them and earned her second chance. Good luck to all of them...

[@user-ug6tl6ne5g]

😊👍👌❤️

[@user-ug6tl6ne5g]

Nice

[@randomusername3873]

​@@NeilTruickyeah someone that commits paternity fraud has to be considered extremely dangerous and skilled when it comes to lies

[@andynorck2389]

Story 1: Nah. If she was a good wife and person she would have done a DNA test since the beginning and confessed the truth, but she doesn’t care, and if she had changed and matured she would have confessed it herself. She still prefers that the truth never came out. She is nothing but a liar. She only chose him because he was the stable dude so he could take care of another dude’s child. This is no happy ending. She doesn’t care about him, just about her stability and lifestyle.

[@Wumbology378]

Yeah hearing someone took 15 years of your life where part of the foundation of your marriage is them telling you another mans child is yours is rough. I find it odd the men that are quick to forgive shit like that. Also it is clear he was not her first choice by her saying he is the most financially stable of the men she was sleeping with. Sure she did her best to be a good wife, but that doesn't make up for that shit in my eyes. Man was used to give her a good life and she couldn't give him loyalty.

[@NeilTruick]

So, once a liar, always a liar? Your age is showing. You've basically thrown away their 15 years together after a 12 minute, one-sided Reddit video. Not every happy ending starts with a perfect beginning.

[@NeilTruick]

@@Wumbology378 So, if you were the OP, you would leave the daughter who has only known you to be her father? Something tells me the distance is making you a lot "braver" than you would be if it were actually happening to you. You get to make your decision after 12 minutes...

[@andynorck2389]

@@NeilTruick That's why I said she should have confessed since the beginning. She didn't lie once. She lied every single day for 15 years. She is the one that didn't care about their relationship enough to be honest in the beginning. Also, he is still her father, he said it himself, so he has to stay close to her no matter what.

[@jeezursilly5252]

Not to be a bitch, but who cares? Husband and daughter lived a happy life, and she matured to not create any misunderstandings like a good wife. Like it's so easy to be stupid when life doesn't matter or isn't real to you, especially young. Her falling pregnant was a HUGE reality check, and she straightened up real quick. Imagine if she told, her daughter would've suffered and not had a father, and the husband would've have had a loving wife and daughter. Plus, as sucky as it is, it was 15 years ago. She's been more faithful to him in 15 years than that one year of infidelity. Idk. It's all in the past

[@angel-nv7jk]

So many ancestory companies are getting sued and now i know why. Cheating partners hate being exposed. I feel bad for OP. I would always do two tho to be sure

[@thelightedghost]

Story 2 : I still can't wrap my head around poly relationships.

[@viciousrape]

because you're trying to wrap your head around socially acceptable cheating

[@SaintOtter]

Same

[@erejnion]

That person was a walking cliche, really. Being "poly" is also a cliche for her.

[@loveyourwaifu1035]

quite simple. having a relationship with more than 1 person with the consent of everyone involved.

[@thelightedghost]

@@loveyourwaifu1035 i know what it means. I meant I don't understand the mental gymnastics behind it and the urge to have such kind of relationships

[@rexoes686]

love how the op in 2nd story keeps saying its a poly relationship when its just an affair (the other wife doesnt know about it at all )

[@hercdrc]

Having been cheated on by my ex-wife, i have to say that the most infuriating of all the things that are common when the cheater is caught is the "give me time to explain" line. The firm belief that there is something, anything, they can say that will somehow justify the cheating shows exactly how selfish and uncaring the cheater is. All the excuses, the apology's and the begging are not there for the benefit of the victim but their own. I had a "good reason" i cheated. I did that but its "your" fault because. I love you and dont want to loose you and it never meant anything it was only a passing thing. All those translate into: i only regret getting caught and loosing the benefits. I regret loosing the image of perfection. I believe I have the right to do anything for my enjoyment and you need to suck it up and accept it.

[@undsetmarai7116]

Story 1: Stvpid, stvpid man 🙄

[@WowzaBoyz]

Way to teach your daughter that cheating/being a doormat is what a healthy relationship looks like

[@lilagonzales1145]

At least Op from the first story still considered his daughter as his child regardless she was not his

[@akasiadiabi]

I like the part where the wife said, she become a devoted wife and mother as a penance for her doing, then get down on her knees and pledge to redouble her effort, whatever he wants she will do. This probably made the husband decides to stay with her. And maybe why western men loves Asian women who usually totally devoted to their husbands.

[@meatpopsicle865]

Alpha fux, beta bucks.

[@Macedonia_is_Greek]

Story 2: Poly is cheating with a pass. Yes you are wrong for dating a married man as much as he is wrong for dating you. Shame on you. You should know better than being in a poly relationship.

[@rhaelfixer2584]

OP is such a doormat.

[@TheImmortalBloodwolf]

Story one: this is the first time I've ever heard of a man being able to maintain his love for his kid after realizing they're not actually his kid... From what I understand it's a biological response innate to Earth male life to reject your kid once you find out they're actually some other man's kid instead of yours... Humans are actually the MOST TAME with this though (most tame by far) Lions are the perfect example of most Earth male life in that situation... If the alpha Lion finds out that one of the female lions was unfaithful, he kills the kid.... The worst a human male is going to do is leave the kid at a orphanage Although I have heard tales where actions like what the OP's I guess adopted child did the moment she found out somehow disengaged the instinct in male human beings...

[@mannyparrilla1807]

I don't think this is entirely true nowadays, I think the response of wanting your kid even if they're not yours is normal.. what causes the rejection is that they have an ACTUAL father outside somewhere, and if that dad appears and the kid is curious, the one who ends up rejected if 'you' and there's literally nothing you can do but take it

[@TheImmortalBloodwolf]

@@mannyparrilla1807 the instinct certainly isn't as strong in humans as other species like I said but I've seen it happen before... There's no doubt in my mind that if his "daughter" hadn't jumped on him immediately because she was able to process things quicker than he was he would have experienced this instinct as well... Edit: I've even heard of a story where the instinct was active for quite a while before the child managed to get through to the man that raised her... The shock of the instinct disengaging and his parental feelings being reintegrated into his mind was enough to have this grown man break down in tears...

[@alorarhodes1568]

Actually studies show that no. It's not a biological thing. It's more of a societal thing. Countries and cultures where emphasis isn't put on biology have less men leaving

[@TheImmortalBloodwolf]

@@alorarhodes1568 first of all who did this studies??? Because there's a lot of studies done were the people paying to fund the study say "you prove what we tell you to prove, if the study doesn't show that you fudge your data or will sue and you'll be arrested" And second like I said humans have it the most tame and are the only species on Earth that can overpower it... all it takes is motivation to try to overpower it... and once the man overpowers it, it NEVER comes back... The problem is that once it's properly activated it can be difficult to get through to the man externally... If the man already has motivation to not let this activate drilled into his head before it could ever activate through cultural means the biological drive will fail. There have been situations where the child, knowing what was about to happen, managed to prevent the biological drive from activating, by jumping on their fathers desperately moments before it can activate saying things like "I love you please don't leave me".. after all this biological drive takes a moment to activate... I am a male myself and have better sources of information then some lowly mortal studies, trust me it's biological...

[@C.G.Gaster]

I respect and look down upon the first op. I will always respect a person who raised a child, found out that they arent related due to cheating, but still loves them. I however look down on him for staying with the wife.

[@Ferrarix777]

Setting a bad example for the daughter. She seems like a good kid, so that is great. However, any other kid could set his actions as a benchmark. They could either become a POS that cheats and demands forgiveness or become a doormat for a promiscuous partner.

[@Mearaxes]

@@Ferrarix777 a doormat for sure.

[@ianmoritzplatapino3684]

​@@Mearaxesspineless simp charming white knight doormat is more accurate

[@noobslayernbalm9212]

What shaders and texture pack do you use?

[@Isla_ed1ts]

Thats just wrong

[@joshuamcnally1604]

No kids and no spine op

[@OreoDood]

Once again we ask, Hey Telltales, how ya doing on this lovely tuesday

[@bitviper3430]

I hate the open relationship type of poly. I like 3 person couple poly where we all get to know each other together and if we like each other we start a relationship

[@jaylarkin4331]

A great lesson about safe swx and the dangers of promiscuity

[@jarrodhall3686]

“I took the test and everything became ApPARENT!” Well…except OP

[@Falney]

Story two: wait what? Poly with undisclosed history of sti's? While is sucks they turned to be the ap and got gaslit. That has nothing on knowingly risking and inevitably passing on an still

[@smo_phoenix]

The person at the end sounds like they have a positive poly relationship. The OP sounds like they’re using poly as a cover to sleep with others while their “np” deals with the emotional fallout. Don’t like OP at all, which is not meant to take away from the abuse. Abuse is messed up no matter what, but OP sounds like a messed up person.

[@pamlovell5628]

Im so happy to hear a positive poly relationship. Most ppl crap on poly relationships. Then there are the ones that use poly as am excuse to cheat. Poly is harder to find relationships but with the right communication and respect for all parties, they can be very healthy, lasting relationships. Ive seen it with my own eyes. Some mono relationships could learn a thing or two from the level of communication in a poly relationship.

[@Babidi111]

- she will not respect you for staying. I mean, how could she. Imagine being a girl, where your sense of contentment and security is dependent on the respect she has for her husband. Now imagine she cucks that husband and when the man finds out he doesn't hold her to account for it and basically tells her those years of being a cuck were the best he ever had.....she will be relieved for the financials and security but she does not respect and cannot love and respect her man now that he knows she did him dirty and he's shown that it was just fine and dandy to do that to him. These girls often pick the right guys who they know are like that, that you were financially stable and also lame and okay with being disrespected made her at least think her baby would be warm and fed. He wasn't a factor in the decesion outside of what he could provide HER child.

[@aaronmiles2802]

She shouldn’t respect him, I don’t blame her, only a weak man who doesn’t know who he is or is suffering from a mental illness would stay in that marriage.

[@jennhernandz3912]

Story one OP here’s the wonderful thing about this because you were legally married to your wife at the time the daughter was born no adoption necessary. She is for all legal purposes your daughter, so staying with you is completely something that can happen disowning her mother also something that can completely happen. She’s at an age where she’s old enough to decide who she lives with, and you have always acted as her father and never treated her any other way than any father would treat a daughter the courts would state that you for all intensive purposes are her father

[@SpectralDarkion]

Story 1 was oddly wholesome. I'm definitely all for it.

[@N1rvana109]

simply because the husband is chill and it seems their relationship before the wedding was not so serious.

[@raketensven3127]

Really wholesome to have a major lie as a relationship foundation. He's a doormat.

[@gamesaurs1542]

Story one: that story was making me smile just hearing the happy outcome. Not too often do we find stories like that and I’m happy it turned out well. Hope they enjoyed their holiday.

[@ianmoritzplatapino3684]

I'd the happy outcome is op being a spineless simp charming white knight doormat safety net for a cheater and a liar well is. The happiest outcome 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[@abcdefzhij]

Biltayn

[@randomusername3873]

Oh yeah, the master manipulator won, what a wholesome ending

[@abcdefzhij]

@@randomusername3873 ikr lol

[@kossettereaditte7552]

This ma got babytrapped, i dont care what anyone says about falling in love later.....thats just wrong

[@idontconsenttoinfobeingsol3041]

Story one: Paternity Fraud.

[@scaredpaul540]

Story 2: So your new poly partner is sooo great, right? How long for you two before you fall into love and divorce or breakup with your "nesting partners"? When will people finally learn that if you want to sleep around just stay single and be with another similarly degenerated people

[@jajajasputin8927]

He may not be the sperm donor but that girl is his baby

[@CainEverest]

Story 1: "He may have been your father, but he ain't your daddy," comes to mind. Good luck to the 3 of them

[@masterost1994]

Sorry, but standing by someone else's spawn is not admirable, no matter how much women on reddit gush over it, it's at best civil, at worst pathetic.

[@biggiecheese2004]

That’s still his daughter man. Biology doesn’t matter when you’ve raised them for that long. I don’t respect him staying with his wife. She’s a whore who latched onto the OP for being stable. If he wasn’t as stable she would have begged someone else. She can go fuck herself and he needs to divorce for his own dignity. I respect his decision for being peaceful but he NEEDS to end this. W daughter as well btw.

[@jestosebno666]

Story 1, Dude, grow a spine, have some self respect. Divorce her.

[@brianarnold8666]

Op's parents must be massively disappointed in her

[@jennhernandz3912]

For the first story, like I believe that she was guilty and remorseful long before her daughter was ever born that woman spent 15 years with him, not knowing that she was trying to make up for the worst thing she ever did in the biggest mistake of her life, because sometimes cheating is a mistake Usually it’s not but if it’s something that never happens again after a long period of time like that, you can guarantee that person is never gonna do it again because they realize how horrible they made you feel and they would give anything to take that away, this woman literally had no life outside of her husband and childso for them to cast her side, probably really screwed with her. I’m a firm believer that we shouldn’t judge people for the worst moments of their life no matter what those moments may be, but nobody is there worst action.

[@nereus2929]

She didn't even know who tf the father was, what are you even yapping about?

[@mannyparrilla1807]

If you really think cheating "is a mistake'" in ANY case, then I don't think you've been in a relationship yet... there's A lot of steps to cheating its A Decision through and through, the guilt comes at the end because you KNOW you fcked up, Its a betrayal and causes inmense pain, and if you are capable of that then you're a terrible trash human being

[@presterjohn9088]

Yep that's bullshit. The guy is very wealthy which is why she said the baby was his 15 years ago. Notice how OP said they have a nice home gym and money isn't a problem? Wealth has determined "paternity" since time began. You don't even have to be a good actor to fool someone for that long. The mother legitimately loves her child and tolerates the husband because money. Men usually accept much less in terms of love, affection and just basic decent behavior from their spouses.

[@lotsaspaghettimamaluigi]

Wait so we aren't actually related? When do you turn 18 again?

[@Ueiwbwowheoeho]

Wtf is wrong with you? 😂

[@msfluffykins1113]

Bro go to horny jail lol *hits gavel*

[@EternalLight111]

Gross

[@bramobin]

evil

[@lotsaspaghettimamaluigi]

@@bramobin *based

[@ayla6854]

At last, a story where the blameless, innocent child doesn't suddenly loose a parent through no fault of their own. Yes, finding out your biological child isn't, after all, yours, hurts, terribly so. But I don't understand how you can go from loving your child to utter coldness the moment you find out it's not yours. That child you raised, loved, shared your life and wisdom with hasn't changed. All that is new is that you now know that your child's mother has been unfaithful to you. The child is not to blame and I hate it when people do that. It makes me feel like there was not much love in the first place if it's so easy to suddenly abandon your kid because they happen to not be biologically yours. Your raised and loved them. They ARE yours. Why punish the child?

[@legiontepes3474]

Clearly you are not a man. You are the one that can paternity fraud and not the other way around. Privilege is always invisible to those who have it.

[@raketensven3127]

The "mother" is the only one here punishing 3 people simultaneously. Robbed the child, the real father *AND* the doormat OP at least 15 years of their life. Manipulating 3 lives this deep only bc the truth was inconvenient and made her look bad. As a man this kid becomes a symbol of betrayal once the not-father knows the truth. That's simple nothing you could shake off, overlook and it's way stronger than any love (that wasn't even real after all) there was before. It is not retaliating against the kid. Textbook fight or flight. And you do not want to see men really fight in this situation. Women will never understand what it might mean to spend your lifetime, energy and money on a fake child.

[@ayla6854]

@@raketensven3127 But that's just it. The child is not fake and the love was real. Or should have been at least. I get that suddenly finding out your kid is not biologically yours hurts. But you raised that child, invested yourself emotionally - that's what a parent does (or should do, anyway) so it is still your child. You're still the dad. Family isn't just blood. The kid is innocent in all of this and it is punishing the child for the crime of the mother when you suddenly abandon him/her. Just imagine growing up with a loving and attentive father that you adore and suddenly, out of nowhere, your father just abandons you, stops loving and caring for you, through no fault of your own. Imagine that pain.

[@ayla6854]

@lucgermain9310It has nothing to do with how I view or not view men. But if you need to know, I do not hate men. *EVERYONE* (and that includes men) has feelings and everyone deserves respect and love and happiness. Respect has to be earned. Love should be unconditional, but not lead one to commit crimes or condone them (as in, if someone you love commits a crime, you shouldn't cover up the crime or let it all slide without any consequences. Even if that means the person you love has to go to jail.) I do feel wary of men though, because of personal experiences that have left me deeply scarred. But this wariness does not have anything to do with what I am trying to say here, which is that abandoning a child will hurt that child. Because the child is as much a victim as the man and just as innocent. And the person they came to love and depend on as their father leaving will hurt them, even if the man didn't do it to hurt them. For something they did not cause or chose to be a reminder of. Children are dependent upon the unconditional love of their parents and to suddenly loose one half of the equation because of what the child will then surely feel to be their fault (even if it's not, as the child didn't ask to be conceived through cheating) will cause damage. We heard it in this story. The kid was so scared that they would be left, loose the love of the only father they knew. A man isn't a father just by fathering a child. Just as a mother isn't a mother by birthing a child. There is way more to it than that, being a father/mother means to provide for the child, be there for him or her or them. It means to raise them, to love them, to protect them, to be THERE and present. It is just an all round terrible situation. Caused by the mother's infidelity. The man leaving because to stay is too painful doesn't make him a monster or a bad person, that's never what I was trying to say. The man is a victim and hurt and he has a right to protect himself. I also do not believe giving someone a second chance is weak, doormat-behaviour. People can learn from their mistakes and change for the better, after all. That said, I do not expect someone to stay together with someone that cheated on them. That is their decision and it is totally understandable if they decide to never forgive, much less allow for a second chance. I just don't feel right to call that person a doormat or weak for deciding to forgive and want to go to counselling and rebuild the relationship. It takes strength to forgive something like cheating, just as it takes strength to acknowledge that the cheating happened and to decide to break off the relationship.

[@sminem6572]

Nope, don’t feel bad for first guy. If both you and your partner wait until marriage, you won’t have to worry about things like that occurring. He probably forgave her after realizing he was no better than her, and probably knocked up some chicks along the way. They’re made for each other.

[@rachelthecool2880]

Hope nobody falls for you xx

[@fredahoward1447]

Should you stay or should you go banana should you stay or should you go now did you stay or should you go banana if you stay there will be trouble if you go it will be double I suggest you stay but tell everyone on your wife's side of the family

[@fredahoward1447]

Oh s***