Do THESE Five Things before breaking NO CONTACT with a Dismissive Avoidant

Рет қаралды 4,497

Coach Court

Күн бұрын

Пікірлер: 36

@upperiscopeUK 5 ай бұрын

Sound practical wisdom, invaluable and worthy of consideration.

@IamCoachCourt 5 ай бұрын

@@upperiscopeUK thank you 🙏🏾

@Magenta-maya93 3 ай бұрын

@@IamCoachCourtur channel is beyond many other coaches. I’ve watched a few, And I see u on the level of Margarita (she does content for female empowerment, but also on attachment styles).

@NewyJon7787 5 ай бұрын

Honestly, don't reach out. It only sets you back months in healing. If they wanted you, they would do the reach out.

@riverbilly64 2 ай бұрын

They will never do the reach out, IMO, but I agree with your advice. Best to stay away so that you don’t get hurt yourself.

@JaqoBlaque 20 күн бұрын

You’re def right about the 6 months of being deactivated. I’m noticing a pattern that’s been happening.

@ijustneedmyself 5 ай бұрын

If he wasn't in the process of ghosting me then we'd be talking still, but we would not be anything more than friends. It has been interesting learning about avoidant attachment and coming from a totally different place than most people in the comments. Our relationship was casual. He couldn't even handle that without disappearing. I was as empathetic and understanding as I possibly could be, but at a certain point I had to put myself first. After the first time he ghosted, we both agreed that if he felt he needed space he could just tell me, but he couldn't resist disappearing again 🤷🏽‍♀️

@NishNicole5190 3 ай бұрын

Same. 😢

@ijustneedmyself 3 ай бұрын

@@NishNicole5190 I'm sorry. It's rough, isn't it? He actually reappeared last week and told me he didn't intend on going away forever. As far as I'm concerned he can do what he wants, but I don't have it in me to put anymore effort into it. It's too much work for little in return. It's a shame because he's a nice guy, but majorly troubled. We had a good talk and he told me he was feeling ashamed that he couldn't reciprocate what I was able to give (communication, consistency, etc.). He started seeing a therapist so that's a major win. All we can do is wish them the best and take care of ourselves ❤️

@atmodlee 3 ай бұрын

And that is when you chose yourself. I’m a firm believer that when you love fully and without limits.. you never lose anyone; they lose you.

@ijustneedmyself 3 ай бұрын

@@NishNicole5190 It's hard, but I've learned to release my expectations because they can't and won't be met. I accept that he's incapable of more and there's nothing left to be done from my end. He actually reappeared and said he took my advice to heart and started seeing a therapist. I wish him the best.

@ijustneedmyself 3 ай бұрын

@@atmodlee I'm sure that's true. It's funny because I'm actually fearful avoidant so we're similar, but different. So, I'm unable to love fully myself... I'm working on it though. And truthfully he helped me even recognize that I was FA. In the process of trying to understand him, I was able to understand myself and make sense of my previous marriage. We're all here just learning (hopefully) and trying to be better versions of ourselves.

@sadiqua7 5 ай бұрын

What about when they reach out to you only to continue breadcrumbing you?? It’s bizarre

@julyguynj 5 ай бұрын

100%

@sevenpounds1463 2 ай бұрын

call out this behaviour and set boundaries

@riverbilly64 2 ай бұрын

I truly love my dismissive avoidant. Only wish them well and I wish they wanted to be in my life. I’m not in no contact (they stopped contacting me, so I took that hint!) I’m practicing healing and self-preservation, as well as how to be loving and find good love in what is the last third of my life. Really love and adore them. Only wish them well. Only wish myself well!

@sevenpounds1463 2 ай бұрын

I recommend you to watch coach ryan videos and when your emotions calmed a little bit Ken Reid videos. After them you will understand, that there is no hope for your relationship except they are really willing to change and go to therapy/put in the work. It helps tremendously with healing your mental health

@margreetweistra1538 5 ай бұрын

I dont want a relation with him anymore, but I did see him at concerts etc and we get along fine. I dont want to never see him again.

@ijustneedmyself 5 ай бұрын

I'm in the same boat. I still want to be friends. I guess we'll see.

@youtubeaccountserio2633 4 ай бұрын

Please don’g remain friends with an AVPD they will get you back please don’t the cycle is hard to get out of

@21puff 3 ай бұрын

You’re the best, Courtney! Dismissives deserve love, too, and your kindness towards them is greatly appreciated. If we mirror their distant behavior, then we become just like them, which isn’t good. Like you said, it’s best to be our authentic, loving selves, for our sake and for theirs, and let the chips fall where they may. Also, is that quote about expectations from Esther Perel? Thank you for being a beautiful Taoist!

@margreetweistra1538 5 ай бұрын

great vid by the way!

@marjoriemartinez9973 3 ай бұрын

3rd try 15 yrs later, he is 68 iam 55. Literally told me hes not ready for responsibility or commitment however, he benefit from all my wifey qualities 😢

@Cre8Fire34 5 ай бұрын

Not with any lies or mean words...just... The truth as it was acted out from her end.

@Magenta-maya93 3 ай бұрын

I asked „are we enemies still?“ I’ve been blocked since April but he came to my apartment June and I was too surprised to do anything. Now nothing :/

@DawnHatton 8 күн бұрын

I called my ex out on hi s bs behavior 3 days later i get a cowdarly ass dump text Saying we both want different things He didnt fèel the same He seen me as a sister I know it was bullshit He was emotionally unavailable Intamcy he wasnt great Even so there was a connection I didnt realise he was an avoidant He offered me friendship Ive gone no contact It was more he ran and didnt Want to take accountability

@teresalopez5683 4 ай бұрын

What if were married. Im on my way to becoming more secure. Hes been with someone else for 3yrs on n off.Weve been separated for 3yrs. Hes come back into my life every 10 months. Ive asked him for a divorce but he said hes not ready. Im doing myself always n working hard.

@Nono38-jj1tk 4 ай бұрын

@@teresalopez5683 Is this for real? You don't give him the chance to toy with you and keep you as an option any longer. You file for divorce and serve him with papers while he is laying next to the other woman. He us keeping you around in case it doesn't work out with her. He comes back to you every 10 months because they fight and she leaves. Have some self respect and allow for a new man to come into your life and treat you like a queen.

@Magenta-maya93 3 ай бұрын

I miss him and me as friends.

@CeeP211 5 ай бұрын

Coach Court, my ex who is a fearful avoidant broke up with me 4 months ago and we havent spoken since. A couple of weeks ago his sister-in-law sent me a friend request on Facebook. I accepted and she commented on my photos saying that she was so happy to see i was doing ok. 1. Why do you think she would do this after all this time? 2. Was it a bad idea for me to accept her? We did get along well. 3. I want to respect my exes boundaries and i feel like he would be upset if he knew we were connected. Is this something that would make an FA really angry?

@youtubeaccountserio2633 4 ай бұрын

He/she obviously wants to get back

@KurtLeeMusic 4 ай бұрын

Put yourself first. If you want to be friends with her, be friends with her. If the guy that ditched you isn't happy with it too bad for him. Live your life for you not for pleasing him.❤ Someone who truly wants you to be happy would want you to have the freedom to choose your friends.