Do You Give Too Much? (Stop Over Giving in Relationships!)

[@ShellyBullard]

If you like this video, watch the one about being PURSUED here: kzbin.info/www/bejne/qpnKc5eMpdxjppo

[@michellecrocco2588]

I used to be an over giver, but NEVER again! 😄

[@michelleallison6577]

❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[@angelalacaprucia9407]

Thank you Shelly! This is so me!! Totally needed this 💗

[@arvj123]

"Usually those who are over-givers really, deeply--like your soul--wants to receive. So you have to learn how to become a receiver." Wow. What a revelation. Thank you for yet another video combining psychology/psychotherapy with manifestation. I love these.

[@ShellyBullard]

So glad you’re enjoying them💙

[@theunstoppableman35]

One of the problems we have as a giver is like you said we give because we expect something in return. A certain reaction from our special person and we form resentment when we don't get that reaction. I have found that by being truly happy with myself and only needing love and approval from myself, that not only can I give unconditionally, but my special person now gives to me more than ever. I am no longer giving off a needy vibration.

[@ShellyBullard]

Yes. Beautiful explanation. I agree.

[@DZ-jz8bj]

How do you give love and approval to yourself? I really need to learn this. :/ I feel like I can't give myself this, or it is not so valuable as if I got it from others... so I am still craving for appreciation / someone who would value me and love me.

[@Lu.J16]

Your view is just great!!! Thank you so much for your words! Made my day! ⚘

[@UltraMegaOk203]

Yes, I was this girl. I used to justify it by thinking Hey, but I'm a lover, I just have a lot to give so why not give it? Inside I was deeply unhappy for many, many years. Now, every morning I say to myself I am open to receive. It's coming to me. And it does. In abundance 💘 I give back too but from confident, content place. So much better..

[@ShellyBullard]

Beautiful

[@Jewelsessences]

We give because nobody is giving and we know what its like to never receive

[@dblue106]

This has always been me in the past. I'm about to turn 44 and I don't want this to be my reality anymore. No more over-giving.

[@vivianmontgomery9082]

This is definitely me. I have always been an over giver, going out of my way to help my person or impress or get attention or make them comfortable. But in the end, or after a while, I do start to feel resentful because what I'm doing is exactly what I'd love for my partner to do for me. In my pursuing and giving I feel like I'm unnaturally in the masculine role where I desire to be in the receiving role...not all the time of course, I love giving to people I love it's a wonderful feeling. But specifically in a romantic relationship I want for my sp to take that role.

[@ShellyBullard]

Yes. Wonderful awareness.

[@PLuna-gf6sh]

Same here! I totally relate to the “I’m unnaturally in the masculine role”. I know this comment was from a year ago but what have you done to flip this and be in the receiving role?

[@anungjamir29]

This is for me, I give my 110% percent and feel sad for not receiving the same efforts back to me. Thank you Shelly. Can't wait to listen to you.

[@ShellyBullard]

🙏💙✨

[@twi1902]

It always amazes me how common this is...So many people afraid of losing love, feeling unlovable, not knowing how to receive. Your words though bring light and hope! Thank you!

[@ShellyBullard]

You’re welcome 💙

[@victoriapoon7431]

Oh SHOOT. I''ve been guilty of over-giving which totally stems from a fear of being dropped. What an eye-opening video. Thanks so much, Shelly

[@heathermclean-smith5893]

Shelly, I’m seeing a man who is always complaining to me that he does all the giving in the relationship. We were together four years ago in which I was the one who did the most giving in the relationship. We broke up for about three years, but are now back together. However, the position of giver and receiver has changed. It’s not that I don’t give to him, but I do so to truly show my love for him, not wanting anything back in return. He is always enumerating all the things he does for me, and tells me how bad I am for not giving him more, and that I don’t really love him. It feels like he wants to be the receiver in the relationship, but being pursued (and the receiver in a relationship) is really where I’m the most happy. I am a very calm, centered person, and have been visualizing my own happiness and success the past three months since finding your amazing video’s. I have also been visualizing my sp as a happier, less controlling person in our relationship. What advice might you have for me? Thank you so much, Shelly!

[@Maicurls]

Yup. I love giving. Honestly it’s usually given from a place of love. But there’s been times where I felt like I had to somehow “prove” myself or feel worthy. Such a learning experience and actually difficult trying to “hold back” and believe that I don’t have to constantly give but still feel appreciated. Definitely has something to do with self love and self confidence to know that I not only am good enough as I am but also good enough to receive. Thanks for the video, Shelly

[@ShellyBullard]

You're welcome, love.

[@lindagraham9225]

My son sent this to me. I have never thought about this in a relationship... but I am now. I am practicing self love and I will add this as an aspect of loving myself. Thank you!!

[@ShellyBullard]

Love it!

[@laurielitchfield7236]

I have been in this space. It is very painful and not at all about what I, as a woman, am about. Two years ago felt this and watched how my friendship with an SP disintegrated. I had no one to blame, it manifested and all I worried about came true...was a great learning experience.

[@ShellyBullard]

So glad you learned.

[@sigalm8205]

I thought by being a giver this was a way to keep the relationship.. this was so wrong. Now I think men appreciate you less when you’re to nice and a giver.. self love is the key. Thank you so much Shelly♥️❤️♥️

[@decemberclouds]

I think it's important to give to yourself too!! So many of us gave up ourselves in the relationships, not realising that's what our SP was looking for: US!

[@ShellyBullard]

🙏💙

[@Jewelsessences]

You can love yourself AND still give

[@shelby9088]

This is a really good topic. I’ve been reading about enmeshment trauma and I realized in my entire life I’ve been over giving, apologizing as a tool to make people comfortable, minimizing my needs to make things go smoother. All because I had that fear that if I expressed my individuality it would open me up to rejection. All of this was so deeply ingrained in me I didn’t even really know a different way of being. Watching your videos and others helped me see the energetic differences and feel out what that would look like for me. I have been working on this heavily lately. For me what has been helpful has been immersing myself in these videos to feel out a new vibration. And I also have been recording affirmations and using that to practice in that new feeling.

[@ShellyBullard]

So happy you're going through these major transformations.

[@decemberclouds]

Same here my fellow manifesting friend. I was locked into giving because I believed that giving was all I could do! I even wrote it in my journal last year. I gave up so much of ME in a relationship I had no ME left. :( Also working on this, along with self-love.

[@mixie094]

probably the best video Ive watched from you so far, this really made the difference! Im Receiving the love I desire! Cause I finally allowed myself to be the receiver. Finally making peace with my past and sending blessings to my Chaser self, cause she also helped me so much. Will be forever keeping her in my heart, she was a brave and wondeful version of me. But now Im so ready to birth my new Self, cause I deserve it to be chased as well. I deserve to finally receive the love and abundance and finally relax and allow love to flow to me :) Thank you so much Shelly, you helped me sooo much these past months! I will definitely share my success story with you soon

[@Izna_Fina]

You're awesome Shelly! I over give. I am pulling back and receiving!!

[@BomChelle0617]

Omg I wish I would have known this a year ago. I was/am a classic over giver. I did for him because I wanted his love in return. And eventually he pulled away and I started to resent him because I didn’t think he was grateful for the things I did for him. It was totally my fault. But I was afraid to lose him/his love but I ended up losing it anyway. I wanted to do everything I could just to have some kind of interaction with him. I don’t want to do this going forward in any of my future relationships. I am in a new ‘relationship’ and I don’t want to make the same mistakes. Thank you for this video! 🤗

[@ShellyBullard]

You’re welcome 💙

[@gwen8718]

Yes. Yes. Yes. Always! I feel like nights are the hardest- that’s when I want to reach out. I hate having to stop myself- but it’s never reciprocated. 😞

[@kpayge5490]

Bravo Shelly much needed video. I have a life time pattern of this emulated from family members. It feels freaking awful when it is done out of neediness, an intense desire to be loved (when self love eludes us) and it always backfires every. damn. time. Not wanting to become steeped in martrydom , or resentment I have gotten ahead of it.........but caught myself going there in thought (likely would lead to action) quite recently.

[@shasinair]

Very true. The fear of losing!! Never thought of this before.

[@teejay8258]

Oh, you are right. My soul DOES want me to be the receiver! Hit a deep chord with this one!

[@bluebubble612]

I have always thought of myself as too giving. Although it comes from within and i cant seem to control it, this definitely sheds a new light.

[@ShellyBullard]

🙏

[@pratimania]

Each and every word so resonated with me, but all thanks to you Shelly, from an overgiver to learning self love and healing the child, i am so getting better day by day and have come a long way :)

[@ShellyBullard]

Wonderful!

[@suzannelewis4072]

Oh, this is going to be good. Can't wait to listen to this tomorrow.

[@ShellyBullard]

;)

[@jashwantmali1596]

Dear Shelly, i must say one thing about your all videos, your every video is mind blowing. I can't stop myself to like and comment on that..

[@ShellyBullard]

Awww thanks for sharing that you feel that way.

[@jashwantmali1596]

@@ShellyBullard thank you so much for all your life changing videos...i am very very grateful...

[@loveisreaal]

Same!! 💓💓💗💕

[@jwalka534]

Slow down on the giving & focus on receiving. Let's put yourselves 1st 🥰 Self Love

[@StephaniePisces]

Could you possibly do a guided meditation for being receptive to love? Specifically to become a receiver and to revel in all the love that comes to you? Thanks!

[@ShellyBullard]

yes

[@StephaniePisces]

Thank you!!!!

[@sarahfara1539]

That would be awesome.

[@Jewelsessences]

There is no love

[@TheCosmicBaddie]

Yes, sometimes we need to respect ourselves enough to let other people come to us!

[@ShellyBullard]

Yesss

[@karissakarma2997]

So much self love! This girl is on 🔥 Thanks as always beauty

[@ShellyBullard]

You’re welcome 💙

[@brunokilleen]

I’m learning SO MUCH from your videos Shelly! Most importantly I’m learning to truly love myself! Thank you!!

[@ShellyBullard]

Love this💙

[@sonyawilliams7732]

As someone who tended to over give after being strongly pursued initially, I gratefully receive your incredible video! Switching to this dynamic within romantic relating felt off and I already had some insight into it, but the way you articulate these complex patterns including the hidden parts and bring them to light (the soul of the over giver actually wants to receive!) is truly kind of mind blowing. And then you illuminate how all of this connects to our current reality, transforming from within with this awareness, and how it relates to where we want it to go. Wow, thank you..

[@Nicole-xo3go]

I love giving, but I have been feeling that I give a lot all the time and never get anything back. So thank you so much for this video Shelly, it made everything so much clearer 🙏❤

[@ShellyBullard]

You’re welcome 🙏

[@cristina444p2]

This hit home. Thank you for the awareness.

[@IammilliondollarmonthMauimama]

I use to overgive then I snapped out of it. 🥰 thanks again Shelly

[@ShellyBullard]

You’re welcome!

[@vigneshkr9497]

Dear Shelly This video is simply amazing. You just spoke what's going on with me. I am in the exact same situation of a giver and I expect back a lot. You now made me aware of the love that comes through fear and the love that comes through free flow. Thank you so much. :) The struggle is basically to achieve that stillness and not to spoil my mood and vibrations. I have to work more on it.

[@ShellyBullard]

Beautiful, I'm glad it spoke to you.

[@Jewelsessences]

The nervous system has a mind of its own

[@Charlotteapaige]

I desire to be a receiver so much! I have definitely been an over giver, and if my giving EVER results in me receiving, I have gone into overdrive trying to replicate that result.

[@ShellyBullard]

💙🙏✨

[@iados]

Your explanation was super useful to understand this concept! Love isn’t leaving me no more, it never did, but now I can feel it true

[@suzannelewis4072]

Wow, before I watched this video I texted my sp just to get a response from him. I did at least get an emoji. Lol. But now I'm going to stop this kind of actions. It just occurred to me, Givers get used. So, I am going to watch for my motives for giving and manifest being a receiver. "I am now open to receive from my sp". Thanks Shelly Hubbard

[@mayurchenna7083]

I'm also so happy that I'm here ❤️

[@ShellyBullard]

;)

[@amylever5687]

This is such a powerful video! I've definitely been this girl before. Now anytime I don't like something in life I start to change my inner story. It never fails to work. ♥️

[@alexistajkman7221]

I have watched so many of your videos over the last 3 days. Hoping to manifest my sp 🙏✨.

[@dle5045]

This is a pattern I have been trying to break. This video couldn't have come at a better time!

[@ChristineSetTheScene]

This is ME!!! 😮😮😮 My god shelly why are you so smart? You are brilliant ♥️

[@CC-wu9xs]

Thank you for this as I realise this is what I’ve been doing in a very new relationship now he has pulled away and I was left wondering what I’ve done wrong. My previous relationship was with a narcissist and I gave so much of myself trying to fix him and completely lost myself but I’ve been single for 16 months and worked on self love before meeting anyone new. I now realise that I need to continue to work more on myself. Much love ❤️ x

[@ShellyBullard]

💙💙💙

[@CC-wu9xs]

Shelly Bullard ❤️

[@katrinabattad9399]

Shelly, youbhave no idea how much I need this video. Thank you so much!

[@ShellyBullard]

You’re welcome 💙

[@lilibeth8500]

Thank you Shelly for this video. You described the pattern very well and i love that each time you propose a way out of the unwanted situation!🌹💜💚💙🧡❣️

[@dedemomo4193]

It's a reminder to set ourself into receiver mode, love ya Shelly 💚😽

[@Grace-zl5zv]

Thank you for your beautiful contribution 🥰🌟😇I love to give to create connection and see people get on however I can relate to giving to receive Now I'm aware of it I can place my attention on it and practice the art of allowing myself receive Many Thanks Shelly ☺️

[@lauraangelicalomeliraya4623]

Wow, Shelly! You're so right! I was over giving And first I need to think about myself. And now I am doing it since The last ir your vídeos about self love. Thx, dear!!💐💐💐💐💐💐💌

[@ShellyBullard]

You’re welcome 💙

[@kimberlykrause8137]

These last two videos are right on time!!!! I love that you've brought in other advice... 🖤💜 thank you, shelly...

[@ShellyBullard]

You’re welcome 💙🙏

[@Jazlunaxo]

You’re teaching me so much shelly 🐚

[@ShellyBullard]

So glad to hear this!

[@missb9196]

Wow, great video. I can finally feel the difference of energies in my body, specially in my heart chacra. I now know the sweet feeling of receiving and the heaviness of lack. I was in a place of lack for so long and couldn't make the switch. Thank you, Shelly! By the way, your feminine energy can be felt and I love it... you are really sweet! I have been working on mine and I can feel more comfortable, more feminine and even sexier hahaha once again, thank you 💗💗💗

[@theresam6734]

I can relate 🙋. I was in a place of fear after I discovered he was cheating on me and I thought I wasn't giving enough. I started giving and giving in the hope of keeping him. True enough I became resentful after I found out he had not stopped cheating. I had hoped trying to get him to commit and all would change it but he became hesitant. I became an angry and bitter young lady lol. I no longer felt in love and the relationship had to end. I'm now so such into self love and just realizing how much I had abandoned myself. 😊

[@ShellyBullard]

Beautiful girl. Proud of you.

[@theresam6734]

@@ShellyBullard It's all thanks to you. 💖❤

[@NIRANJAYpo]

your videos are happiness shelly :) and listening to them itself is living in the end..

[@ShellyBullard]

Glad you’re enjoying them 🙏

[@fannyhuang1898]

All your videos are eye opening for me, specially this one. I now recognize this pattern 🙏

[@OcyVibes]

I just love your smile girl your energy is so so so sweet omg love you

[@mrunal3584]

Amazing relevation. I wish I had known this earlier but better late than never. Glad I came accross this video of yours. 😁

[@francescagreetham1804]

Super timely! Thank you Shelly!

[@lyndamcmullen9410]

I was waiting for this video. I’m an over giver. Thanks ♥️

[@ShellyBullard]

💙💙

[@pinkynarah5892]

I am too an overgiver. Has alws been. This video made me clear that i stand in a position to recieve alws. I should. Thnk you shelly

[@stephanievance4685]

This was an amazing video Shelly. Thank you.

[@ShellyBullard]

Glad you enjoyed it!

[@blissfulnaturesounds]

I swear, where were you when I was younger! This is everything :)

[@ShellyBullard]

💙💙🙏

[@simonarowarth2563]

I am a giver. I lost myself for a bit recently and my anxiety took over me and I lived in fear that my husband would leave me for another female. The thoughts just took over me, i kept thinking about her and tried to give to keep him. Well last Thursday night my fears came to life because its what I manifested. 😢 I am now healing and working on myself as I am a big believer in self love. This is not for him this is purely for me 💖

[@sarahfara1539]

It's time to break this pattern. I know that I can do it now. Thank you :)

[@ShondaiNspires]

This is so good!!! Thanks Shelly! 😊❤️

[@ShellyBullard]

You’re welcome 💙

[@terayaarmemer]

I'm committed but i still need this...As i get to learn new things every day!!!

[@ShellyBullard]

🙏

[@shavetagoyal6227]

This video was sort of eye opener... Listening to you took me to the moments of my last relationship when I gave out of fear... And it made me sort of sad... but relieved too coz I now know what I gotta do next time. Thanks.

[@ShellyBullard]

You’re welcome 💙💙💙

[@LOVEandLEADERSHIP]

Thank you, Shelly, that was really good! 😍❤️❤️❤️ I loved it!

[@raescream5144]

Deff tough love I needed to hear this Thank you Amiga ❤️

[@ShellyBullard]

You’re welcome 💙

[@aditimajumdar2736]

Thank you so much Shelly. You always know what we're feeling and your videos are always a big help 😊❤

[@ShellyBullard]

Glad it helps 💙

[@sanaakbar6845]

I stopped in the middle of this video to say thank you so much

[@mercyhm3louisiana]

Thanks 😊🙏 I learned kind of on my own and from watching other videos that I needed to step back. Self love? Feeling that I’m worthy to be pursued, to receive, etc. to feel deserving of it. In fact today my SP called up out of the blue while I was on the internet and listening to the affirmations I bought from you several months ago and he said he wanted to come over and visit and bring me some lunch. 👍😊❤️

[@ShellyBullard]

OMG I love this!!

[@mercyhm3louisiana]

Shelly Bullard some time ago I was buying cards and gifts for my SP as I had done for someone I liked since I was a little kid in elementary school. So I’ve made progress. He brought half a shrimp sandwich, some lentil (?) and sausage pasta and he even stopped at the store and bought Parmesan cheese to go on it as I didn’t have any and he bought a bottle of wine too! 😊 Right before he called I was getting ready to go get something to eat. Some of the affirmations focus on dating and I had been replaying them all over and over.

[@BrandochDaha9]

Im struggling with this. Two years ago I was reintroduced to a high school friend from back in the day. We instantly reconnected. We had one drink the other week, then another one the week after, then he invited me to amazing parties, I met his new wife, we went to festivals together and the year after traveled to all around the world, also on his invitation. It was refreshing to have a friend who was so supportive and like minded. We had the same view on religion, which was really bonding and I was all aboard this new life style, because a lot changed. Until suddenly he stopped replying to my messages. Sometimes he replies weeks after, and then I instantly reply. I also share a lot of things I find interesting, but it's like he doesn't have time for conversation anymore or a free day. Now it's just the occasional party and then all is good and well but afterwards its silence again. Where I really want to share life together. It sounds a bit weird writing this and I sound pretty dependent but yes that's how things turned out. Im thankful for the times we had and of course friendships changed, but I really had a feeling of homecoming and community and I had wished to spend many more years around them, celebrating life and exploring the depths of human existence. I have this really strong desire for community, and he always said he had the same and that his problem was connecting with people and that he was so happy he finally found this connection, but then maybe he had a change of heart. And it leaves me with those feelings of over ging and over sharing so im going to listen very good to this video and hope to be able to find some peace and maybe a resolution, be it only for myself.

[@hazlynausope4409]

Yes, you are right. Realisation hits me. I over give coz I want him to stay & I fear of losing him. Instead of receiving from him, he became more distant. I text every day to keep in touch. I need to break this pattern.

[@samhitaparab]

You said it right, it's unconscious. And in the quest of making"love stay" we tend to go overboard and feel resentful. Me and my sp love and pamper each other a lot- but since we had a history of love/closed ones leaving us, unconsciously, the fear that love might leave may have triggered. And I see how it's all connected, giving more to receive more and changing the dominant state of being the pursuer when you actually want to be the receiver. But as I learn and evolve everyday , I am changing this pattern and now, I AM OPEN TO RECEIVING! I am so excited thinking that my sp is going to mindblown that his sp (me) has transformed so beautifully!😍❤️he's gonna love it, coz I am totally loving the way I am now! Also, in a way, I broke this pattern today : before the premiere..so today was my sp's birthday and I had this urge of meeting him and giving him a cake for his birthday, but then somewhere on the inside, my thoughts were - I'll be getting him a cake so that he feels good (wanting appreciation) that I did something for him and seeing that would make me feel good. Also, since I am living in the end, it felt natural to me to even think of buying him a cake. But I then I went like, why am I doing it to please him? I should just be happy seeing him enjoy his day.. coz anyways when we get back, WE'RE SURE TO HAVE A BLAST TOGETHER! 💖 So sp, you get me , the cake and the gift once you start earn me!🌸 I hope I did it the right way, as I didn't have this video to guide me!

[@ShellyBullard]

Beautiful! I love your growth!

[@samhitaparab]

@@ShellyBullard thank you Shelly, it has been possible majorly because of you!🙌❤️

[@Jewelsessences]

Thats selfish it’s his bd

[@rankconarine1322]

Very eye opening video , great content . Thank you so much for sharing ☺️. I am grateful.

[@ShellyBullard]

So glad!

[@JonathonAslay]

Excellent video...

[@ShellyBullard]

Thank you!

[@JonathonAslay]

@@ShellyBullard You're welcome... one of my followers turned me onto you and I love your content so far. GREAT message.

[@ShellyBullard]

@@JonathonAslay Awww I love hearing this! Thanks for coming by to check my channel out!

[@sabrinalovesgiants]

I have pretty much told myself that the number 1 requirement is that someone is clearly into me and I am not going to go more than halfway

[@julierose9624]

This totally makes sense.

[@sharonthomas865]

Thank You Shelly 😊 🎈💐🌺💕

[@ShellyBullard]

You’re welcome 💙

[@BiancaFanu]

I love love love your content 💙💙💙

[@ShellyBullard]

💙💙🥰

[@Optimistic11]

I’m intending for all of this to work. I’ve been struggling with my SP lately and I’m in desperate need of help and finding that love within

[@karanjulka9487]

Greatly explained!

[@ShellyBullard]

Thank you !

[@SF-pm1ov]

Can’t wait 😊

[@ShellyBullard]

🙌

[@aswathynair8859]

Oh dear I so much needed this 💕✨

[@ShellyBullard]

💙

[@bens7728]

So insightful! Thank You 😊💓

[@garyely6081]

Love u girl. Spot on me 100 percent.

[@ShellyBullard]

🙏✨

[@garyely6081]

@@ShellyBullard I would create the relationship with my sp. I would do things for her out of love and then it would turn into me feeling resentful. Then we would break up. I would then get desperate after awhile and would reach out and etc and a vicious cycle would repeat. Whenever I did less I got more of that makes sense. The relationship flowed better when I was being chased instead of reacting out of neediness. I would find reasons to call and text and etc. Upon reflection this is a pattern that has repeated in my life.

[@Lu.J16]

I did that so many times....And what did I get from my SP? NOTHING!!! Hard lesson.

[@holyhyenas1759]

Loved this video!

[@ShellyBullard]

Thank you!

[@bobmorgan5636]

Good discussion...I can identify. Now, know how to solve the problem.

[@melsel43]

Sounds exciting your E books 😍🤗thank you for your lovely video ❤️

[@Sana_969]

You give such valuable insight into our lives.. Love 💛

[@catalystphoenixmoon5385]

This was very helpful. Thank you

[@loveisreaal]

Love it!!! Last night I heard this phrase from a friend.

[@ShellyBullard]

🙏🙏

[@JUSTMELILC1]

I don't like the random video times now 😓 I feel so behind on your videos, I was so used to your daily schedule and now im playing catch up ... The plus side is, I get to binge watch you Shelly!!! 😘

[@ElvenSkywalker]

This is perhaps the best eye-opening video I have ever watched on relationships. I had just hit pause on over-giving and decided my time and affection has to be earned. But 'earn' is also a form of expectation right?

[@audragomez8887]

I did in my last relationship and I regret it!

[@n.satishmohan4239]

Thank you so much I was waiting for this

[@ShellyBullard]

you’re welcome!

[@n.satishmohan4239]

@@ShellyBullard thank you so much for your email. ❤️❤️

[@sigalm8205]

Oh!!! This is just for me!!!!

[@ShellyBullard]

🙏