DOCTOR! DOCTOR! | Two Point Hospital Song feat. Rustage

Two Point Hospital is a wonderfully silly spiritual successor to 1997's classic Theme Hospital. Produced by Two Point Studios with a team made up of many of the devs of the original cult hit, Two Point Hospital tasks you with building a madcap medical empire to rid Two Point County of a myriad of manic maladies.
I'm pretty confident in saying that Theme Hospital counts for 90% of all the gaming I did in the 90s. I was hooked. So to say I've been excited for a follow up game by the same team is putting it lightly.
And of course, any game as dedicated to puns as this one was bound to get my attention.
Huge thanks to the one and only Rustage for hopping on this one and tolerating my ludicrous attempts at music video direction!
Check out his channel here!
/ thedumplingz
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Check out the full Stupendium originals playlist for all of my original songs!
STUPENDIUM ORIGINALS: • STUPENDIUM ORIGINALS
THE STUPENDIUM ON SPOTIFY:
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THE STUPENDIUM ON GOOGLE PLAY:
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THE STUPENDIUM ON iTUNES:
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Lyrics, Vocals And Video by The Stupendium & Rustage
Instrumental by Kustom Beats.
Extra credits:
Lizzy CJ - Additional graphic design, production assistant.
Eskelater - Additional Instrumentation.
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Drop me a tweet? @TheStupendium
The Stupendium is a musician, animator and content creator, creating weird, wonderful and usually incredibly nerdy songs and animations. Join them on their journey to obscure, niche internet stardom! They have some pretty decent videos, wonderful facial hair and a great sense of discomfort describing themself in the third person.

[@MegaSim3]

"200?! What?!" "200 Watt? Nah, you're at least 350" The delivery on that one was _perfect_

[@cherylbohman6518]

He looked so satisfied with himself too!

[@MegaSim3]

@@cherylbohman6518 He really deserves it though! :)

[@_blood_moon_proto_1500]

one of the *BRIGHTEST* puns i have heard in a while

[@_blood_moon_proto_1500]

@@TheBeanMan77 now thats BRIGHT

[@_blood_moon_proto_1500]

@@TheBeanMan77 Eh, i like to stay BRIGHT as day, especially at night

[@BunchONanners]

"Docter I keep forgetting what an airport building is called" "I'm sorry" "it's terminal" that is just the funniest thing ever to be said

[@rorycoverdale3199]

Agree. And "feeling a little horse for weeks" as well/ everyone's contribution.

[@viviaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan]

yes

[@chr_fish]

I diden’t stand what it means

[@rorycoverdale3199]

@@chr_fish It is a double meaning. In terms of the 'airport building', one word for an airport building can be a terminal. But the word 'terminal', when related to a disease, can also mean fatal.

[@section13mediabranch34]

@@rorycoverdale3199 it can also mean that stupidity is incurable.

[@GrenAidanandcats]

“Doctor… I think I’m addicted to petting zoos….” “oh? what are your symptoms?” “well I’ve been feeling a little horse for weeks.” This is to good

[@bowlofboyo]

*two

[@Thecoolhampters]

Youre wrong it is to not two​@@bowlofboyo

[@theancientforger6479]

Three

[@CoolhALAW2]

It's too

[@touchdom]

I just noticed that in one of the first scenes you can see a doctorate in certificate forgery on the wall. Love that.

[@AlabamaMan]

If You Want To See An Amazing Visualization Of This Song I Recommend “Let’s Game It Out” Let’s Play.

[@Methew217]

He is the 1rd in certificate forgery

[@varunchaturvedi2581]

I appreciate your profile picture

[@aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa2541]

You should have learnt that this man takes detail down to an atomic scale

[@rednoodleoffate]

@@AlabamaMan Also check out GrayStillPlays, on his channel Gray makes it his mission to torture living things in the most bizarre ways possible.

[@rustage]

Hell yeah! thank you so much for having me on, and inside your house :P

[@TheStupendium]

My pleasure! Thank you for tolerating my muddled creative process!

[@rustage]

is anyone's creative process not muddled? haha

[@Wisper200]

You both were amazing in this song! It's easily one of my favorites!!

[@Ali-oh2bq]

The Stupendium and I can’t wait to see what you’ll do next

[@NinethieMusic]

You did fantastic as usual dude!!

[@rednoodleoffate]

"Doctor, I keep forgetting what an airport building is called..." "... I'm so sorry. It's terminal." *I think I'm dying.*

[@kinyt3887]

If you're dying, you better go to 2-point! They'll *probably* get you right back to normal! *No promises*

[@rednoodleoffate]

@@kinyt3887 Dammit, if it's terminal and I'm gonna die anyway imma die where I belong. *The runway.*

[@NA-ge3ll]

Well, it's good you're coming to terms with it, it can be a lot of emotional baggage. Some people really think they can runway from their situation, even when it's plane as day.

[@crisbalderas5693]

I'm sorry sir, ITS TERMINAL

[@thedbdentity2102]

Hey I don’t have enough money so I’m deceased

[@marekadams6956]

"You have a... Irregular health rate, sir." "Why is that? Is there something wrong?" "... It looks like your heart rate has taken the form of glasses..." "What? No, that's ridiculous!"

[@TheStupendium]

'No really, it's quite the spectacle.'

[@marekadams6956]

But yeah, liked the song, dude!

[@thisisamergin498]

@@TheStupendium Did you just.

[@christopherdamron5483]

The Stupendium *slow clap*

[@hoodiefilms7924]

A new problem to deal with! *TWO POINT WRITE THIS DOWN.*

[@wileyjohnson5955]

I can't get over the utter joy in his voice when he says "Private Healthcare!"

[@Benny_Blue]

Loving “Hit the prescribe button” in the end cards.

[@SCP_Wandsman13_13]

The one pill that gives you positivity when you overdose.

[@aphelion23]

@@SCP_Wandsman13_13 joy?

[@SCP_Wandsman13_13]

@@aphelion23 If the Stupendium advertised it, I'd take it.

[@Harry101UK]

Brilliant as always! Absolutely *killing* it with the puns!

[@RandomBird]

:O

[@RandomBird]

OMG HARRY :D

[@dasirrlicht5415]

If They ever make a Portal-Rap, it has to be a collab with you. Promise us that.

[@Tundra-27]

Yay Harry again

[@m3lolx]

well, i certainly didn't expect to see the famed creator of 'meet the cores' and SO much more here

[@300IQPrower]

“Cough up or you’re deceased” As a type 1 diabetic in the US that’s uh... a bit TOO accurate for comfort. Also you somehow made a mime rapping work. That has to merit done sort of music award, right?

[@draconicfeline6177]

Yeah, you gotta laugh and wince at the same time.

[@rubylove7202]

"I'm sorry... It's terminal." One of the best lines.

[@Hanhan-fi1dr]

I had a dream where me and Stupendium were playing a boardgame... idk which one tbh, and _somehow_ I manged to beat him, and while I was celebrating, he pulled out a gun and said "no one can know" in like my voice, but really deep, and then I woke up... ...anywho, nice song Stupes!

[@The_Stumbler]

Sorry, but you were playing a game of scabopoliy and hit a clue square revealing you to be the victim of a murder, seems like you have some horror-ible luck.

[@m3lolx]

you've been playing too many board games and been watching too much stupendium also, if this was scrabopily, i hope you got a natural 20, allowing you to grab yourself 100,000,000 from his bank while also blowing it up, denying all points on that row of the board

[@Hanhan-fi1dr]

+Stuart there's no such thing as "too much stupendium" you stop this madness at ones!

[@fellowhuman8830]

I can't say it's weird because I had a dream about zombie frogs

[@GoatOfSpades]

I had a dream about holokaust. It was my turn, then I say i must go to toilet, then i go. But i dont really go to toilet, i go to home >:3

[@stm7810]

DOCTOR DOCTOR!! my thumb has gone a bright shade of blue, and I think the subscribe button is sick, it has gone grey.

[@jimduma6355]

Don't worry he's fine but you go find a *REAL* doctor

[@AustinMullinsTech]

you say it like it is a BAD thing

[@Morris-c8f]

You forgot to ring the bell at the front desk

[@neutral8517]

1rd!

[@neutral8517]

Subscribement-sindrome

[@OakenTome]

I love how each song has a unique intro while still using your logo. Great song!

[@ozediting]

Since somehow Stupendium himself keeps seeing these comments then I shall give his channel indefinitely more love! Time to listen to great jams like this which I haven't heard in forever. If you're seeing this Greg, thank you again for songs like these and working with such amazing people. Welp, time to get back to binge watching these music videos again.

[@TheStupendium]

No, thank YOU for the support! New comments appear at the top of my comment feed regardless of what video they are on, old or new! And I do my best to read them all! :)

[@ozediting]

@@TheStupendium Not a problem, I'll definitely have to support your patreon when I start getting checks routinely! You have a wonderful day my good sir!

[@alexknj1]

It's a good day when there's a Stupendium song.

[@Alex_K221]

Alex K I agree

[@masonpines6349]

Can honestly say that life has been significantly improved ever since I was prescribed Stupendium.

[@Zippsterman]

Yet another game I've played and loved entirely because I heard bout it from this legend. Keep it up Stupendium! The music and the subject games are all awesome

[@jojovox]

That face when you make the watt pun. I must make it a meme

[@ambylotl]

Mfw i show my friends a new track and its actually lit

[@joshuabarnes485]

Do it

[@t.lanfield1936]

4

[@t.lanfield1936]

QtheVoic

[@TheKefkah]

And here I thought the Cuphead video had the best puns, but I was clearly mistaken. We've got a champ right here with all of these sick puns. The use of the heart rate in the background was something I just noticed, but it really adds to the video. Once I saw the first stream I knew you'd make this video and it lived up to the expectations. :P

[@r.wilson470]

"Sick" puns. Cant tell if that was on purpose or not

[@BerzerkVideos]

Okay singing staying alive while also beating to the beat of this song leads me to believe you can perform CPR to this song which is just perfect. I've run several tests. This song about bad healthcare is the perfect timing to perform CPR.

[@bradley4465]

interesting

[@Karak-_-]

I am 76% sure he did that on purpose.

[@BerzerkVideos]

@@Karak-_- I'm 100% sure on that. I've never seen The Stupendium do something accidentally. Even the start is a heartbeat monitor, so it's clearly meant to be lined up.

[@AlabamaMan]

This Really Reminds Me Of A GreyStillPlays Or LetsGameItOut Episode. “Let’s Just Not Pay Attention To The Ghost.”

[@Tyranitar.]

@DogMe4t and let's game it out

[@thethreewoofskitteers8364]

@Ali Ausa and literally everybody who likes causing chaos

[@kinyt3887]

THOSE ARE MY TWO FAVORITE GAMING KZbinRS HOW DID YOU KNOW I also like how LGIO actually did play this game and pretty much made this comment.

[@thistrout]

Grays anatomy ring a bell?

[@shaddysehly5040]

@Deborah Ajao you know him? me too!

[@jamesba6438]

ive taken so many jokes from this video to use at work as a cashier, and are much appricated by customers. Mostly because i couldn't get this damn song out of my head. Easily one of the catchiest ive heard =)

[@NyanMango]

I don’t think I’ll be getting *sick* of this song anytime soon.

[@jimduma6355]

Ha I hate you

[@seanfinch7856]

Honestly the tune is quite INFECTIOUS though

[@aj_style17anonymous6]

This song really *wound* me up.

[@muskrat1]

ha ha ha

[@isaacmontecillo4762]

@@muskrat1 At 0:32 What does this one says in here please?

[@erwangerin7210]

Ok, this one is freakin fun, I love it ! As a pun lover, I cannot deny your talent ! Thanks again for all your songs and keep up the good work !

[@bravomike4734]

lol , I agree. My fav's "200 what? 200 watt? You're atleast 350." xD

[@mgtotoro2240]

This song has made me think of some more doctor puns / jokes Doctor Doctor! I feel like a lamp. Oh your future doesn't look bright. Doctor Doctor I'm stuck on a train! Not another terminal patient. Doctor could I go to the toilet? It's worse than I thought ur ine trouble! Doctor Doctor I feel a little deaf. After we're done with you you'll feel a lot more death. Doctor Doctor I can't stop listening to the Stupendium. And you think that's a bad thing?

[@SwiftpawWolffox]

Doctor Doctor I'm entirely covered in syrup. I'm sorry, you've reached Terminal Viscosity.

[@scouttf29]

*slaps roof of puns* this can be original

[@eldmusic]

SwiftpawWolffox It’s quite the sticky situation you got yourself in.

[@megaagentj2248]

Mgtotoro you are implying the last one is a joke

[@andersresare9331]

Exatctly! If ya don't have a Stupendium in ya life, there's something wrong with ya!

[@ConnorQuestMusic]

DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I CAN'T STOP LISTENING TO THE NEW STUPENDIUM SONG!

[@controlledchaosstudios5364]

Hmm let me check your symptoms. Epic mustache, check. Smooth British voice, check. More in jokes then an inception meme... Check. Gonna have to prescribe you thirty doses of Dan Bull.

[@SJohann]

Doctor: What? I'm too busy listening to a plethora of terrible medical puns.

[@Shadow-876]

I'm sorry, its fatal.

[@Anotherinufan]

That cubism creature will be in my nightmares

[@TwyGuy]

Why he s cool

[@Anotherinufan]

He's scary.

[@Anotherinufan]

Scary cool.

[@zoroarkcourier5105]

Remeber medicine is not a science. It's an art

[@shawnrileywest2826]

No it science

[@Pezmage1]

Fantastic as always. You know, even your calls to action are always in character, love it!

[@mindless_jester]

His diploma has a... "1rd" badge on it. 11/10

[@abreebee]

And it’s a doctorate in certificate forgery. _seems legit_

[@dabudebu3816]

@Nicehan 35 Before Reading the Reply i also read it fird or fhird

[@nicorozner7417]

I just noticed that at 0:18 the certificate in the background is for "1rd in certificate forgery." Gotta love those details!

[@Maniacman2030]

Doctor! Doctor! Gimme the news. I got a bad case of loving your songs. Great work again, Stupendium! I've "Prescribed" your stuff for ages and I haven't regretted it. Also, if the first part didn't give it away, your title reminded me of a Robert Palmer song.

[@tenacityxl]

The puns are...jeez, you packed so many into this fricken song!

[@mrlazarus6778]

I'm afraid that I've contracted a love for this new song!

[@markharger8435]

What’s everyone’s favorite Stupendium song? Mine Shelter From the Storm

[@BowieManHi5]

Same for me

[@neurotypicaljotchua8726]

The house always wins

[@zachsperry4021]

Doki doki and aftermath

[@harrylion6689]

For me it’s tied between that an the dan bull scrabble challenge

[@NOVA_2056]

I'm stuck between Chairman Rolls again, And Then I Prey, this one, and LITERALLY EVERY STUPENDIUM SONG (except the one where he and Howes are on a beach, I just couldn't get into that one.)

[@hawksgfisarespectablewoman3332]

Forget taking all these other rappers to school. Stupes is taking them to Two Point and giving them a prostate exam

[@collegemaster5683]

Uhhhhhh...sick burn??? Very sick...

[@_blood_moon_proto_1500]

@@collegemaster5683 indeed.........they may need a dose of morphine for that

[@ronaldoodles]

After all these years, the chorus of this song still gets stuck in my head, definitely one of my favorites!

[@alexissmith7005]

“Thirty Freddie Mercurys does wonders for the ambiance” I guess that means there was an outbreak of… _Freddie Mercury poisoning?_

[@bobmcbobinsmithson1964]

Your editing is stunning

[@wittymr8734]

"We learn a little something out of every tragedy, so your death won't be for nothing, and that's a guarantee." I only just got that excellent line.

[@alu2901]

Explain.

[@SSTrihan]

@@alu2901 I suspect it's a play on "a little something" also being used as slang for a small amount of money (or sometimes sarcastically when it's a lot) and "your death won't be for nothing" having the double meaning of it being meaningful and also that they'll still make money from your hospital visit even if you die.

[@alu2901]

@@SSTrihan You know what, that is actually pretty clever. I didn't catch that.

[@MissEmilyStrife]

I'm a simple lady I see Stupendium I hit the like button and go to iTunes to get the song

[@Anarchist01]

My brain hurts from too many puns giving me the biggest of brains

[@christpherhodi1793]

You are the most underrated musical talent on KZbin

[@lastfullast8819]

One of the most underrated Stupendium songs, in my opinion.

[@ArmorAura]

Rustage and The Stupendium?! It’s a dream come true!

[@jarzz3601]

the look to camera after the little horse joke kills me :D

[@brycehitchcock9207]

You just keep getting more and more creative... it's so great!

[@starshadow5469]

I’m so happy I found this channel - you guys are great!

[@noobatom]

I’ve listened to this song so much to the point where if I hear a heart monitor in real life, my mind will immediately go to this song….

[@Wisper200]

As always, your intro graphics are amazing

[@tenacityxl]

Wisper200 right? I want to learn how to make graphics like that

[@Wisper200]

I guess you could say that it was... stupendous?

[@pawer0091]

4:00 OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH *was a mental breakdown after listening this song for almost 2 years and finally gets the pun*

[@michaelm3995]

The fact that the stupendium can make a hilarious song like this and also write a dark song like shelter from the storm is incredible. Like the different amount of songs he can write is so cool

[@HalaCG]

Ooooooo lordy this is the song I've been missing for the majority of my life. Slaying with the puns, and you both sound amazing!

[@gex4913]

This song is getting me through quarantine

[@cardillama]

This song is my happy pill (ha? haaa?) when I feel down. Thank you ♥️

[@rhy]

My Blood Type is Stupendi+

[@jimduma6355]

Yes and mine Is medic-

[@rancid1024]

That diploma! xD "Two Point University presents to Dr.Stupendium a First Class Document in Certification Forgery"

[@NinethieMusic]

Absolutely amazing job on this, the oil line was genius

[@RazgulTheKind]

I never imagined when I checked youtube while on my break that there would be a new Stupendium delight for me to sample, my day has officially been made :D

[@jsenecal8213]

I guess my diagnosis is being addicted to the stupendium. I don't need treatment.

[@mistifowl5893]

2:56 I love the little detail of the projecter projecting onto him when he gets in front of it, I wouldn't have thought of that,

[@rngrandomnerdgenerator1446]

ahaaaa.... I see what you did there... 200 watt :p best part of the song :D

[@usernametaken4023]

Wow, this song deserves some more love. I really like the word play on this one!

[@tobyfox6729]

HILARIOUS! I watched your stream with this game and it was very funny. I enjoyed the vocals of you and Rustcage in this song a TON! when you make your next song, maybe Will Ryan of DA Games could be another singer as well, but really that's just a suggestion, your choice. :P Anyways, Great Job Stupes! You always have outdone yourself with each and every song you make, and I can't wait for your next masterpiece!

[@chich-ai]

Oh god look at this intro And also awesome song!

[@collegemaster5683]

"And if they're dead it simply means an open bed (or quarantines)." Stupendium sneakily whispering that last part is making a liiiittle too much sense now...

[@HaganeNoGijutsushi]

Man I _wish_ a pandemic only involved cooking utensils now...

[@Freshest_Water]

💀

[@BreakerX42]

Stupendium rapping with Rustage. I never realized I needed this in my life.

[@phoenixgoldwing3677]

what a great end to my birthday! i hope you have a good day, whatever you do!

[@TheStupendium]

Happy Birthday! :D

[@phoenixgoldwing3677]

@@TheStupendium Thank you so much! :)

[@robbo8309]

Rustage dancing is the highlight of my year

[@speedydog3882]

I love this so much. The quality of the music video is incredible, you would think it was made by professionals! And the music is sooo addictive to listen to, which is fitting

[@aceyagami1398]

the puns in this song are so freaking good! the petting zoo and terminal puns are my favorites!

[@baclaran100]

Good job Stupendium you have the best songs and animations I have ever seen heck how do you release a song every month in fact you should have more viewers! 🤩

[@baclaran100]

Hey Stupendium thz for the like or whatever you did to my comment.👍

[@namelessdork2256]

Thanks to you, I tried Two-Point hospital. It llwas nice.

[@tricktroll142]

3:17 love the theme hospital on the computer screen

[@tricktroll142]

damn, stupendium is still lookin at comments from a 3 year old song thx

[@ulyssesthefirst6616]

This is phenomenal. I couldn't be nearly as punny given an infinite amount of time!

[@DannWoolf]

Now that's a sick beat.

[@JeremyIbironke]

Listens to Two Point Campus: Wow! I liked it a lot! This oughta be good too! Starts listening to Two Point Hospital: Where have I heard that tune before...?

[@ChestersonJack]

This is still one of my favorite stupendous songs. Something about it is almost magical in how perfect it is. And yet at the same time you’re always getting better? I don’t know how

[@kilumbata]

Fricking love your outros. They are the perfect way to end a perfect video.

[@brandenburgquentinthe3rd532]

Nobody: American health service.

[@zeroinfinity5864]

Straight of the table. The way you change your logo to fit the topic of the game is incredible I haven't even gotten past the first few seconds of the video and already the vibe it hear and the details are perfect. Good job.

[@cristinad379]

The watt line was GENIUS, along with the terminal one. So cool!! Although those are my favourite parts, this song is absolutely amazing! It really captures the feel of the game! (Also, was 'We honestly can promise that we'll probably succeed' a reference to Fazbear Family? Either way, made me chuckle!) Such a fun song, you rock!! :D

[@Mysweetdoppio]

*Two Point Hospital:* "Cus those who dont make it have no way to pay the bill" *Also Two Point Hospital:* "Patients are reminded, that fatality is not an excuse for late payment"

[@58209]

idk why i'm so surprised that the first thing a british person would point out about "two point hospital" is that the health industry is privatized in the US that's just the normal, everyday dystopia we take for granted

[@CrackWitch113]

That look after "Ive been feeling a little horse for weeks" is my favorite part XD.

[@CplBurdenR]

Just a thing, for the people saying "the doctor is playing the game on the computer" it's actually an even cleverer (more clever?) reference than that. The game on the computer screens is Theme Hospital, and he makes reference to it with "Bloaty Head and Kidney Beans" too. Excellent work there :)

[@cherylbohman6518]

We need to give this guy a medal. The references are great, of course, but he still hearts and replies to comments on a video from a year ago or longer. He's a legend!!

[@chickenking4888]

"I'm so sorry, it's terminal." Oh dear lord above... you are a friggin genius!

[@newkid1987]

Hey. Love your work mate. I'm from Australia and listen to the originals playlist almost everyday. I'm surprised that you don't have at least a million subs. My favorite song is milk milk lemonade because it is astounding the amount of puns you got in one song.

[@Ordan70]

Holy moly! These songs get better and better. Every one I'm bopping my head to and feeling like I'm playing the game itself. From the intro to the Outro I feel amazed. The absolute best nerdcore content creator right here folks!

[@wumfumblus]

You only posted this two days ago and its so popular... and i see why! Its quality is so amazing , and the way the song sounds like makes its really amazing! 10/10

[@Dogfee79]

If I ran a hospital business this video would've deffinetly been the advertisement commercial (and i mean the whole video even the messed up part)

[@MineCartable]

I think we can all agree that we need more dancing Rustage.

[@lionkiller7786]

This song is so cool and thanks to rustage for making it great keep up the good work stupendium

[@DandyStuff]

I can't stop replaying the song, help me doctor Xd Ps I freakin love the puns

[@P0551bl3]

Holy crap at 0:34 for a split second it says wellfare as in the fare (payment) for your wellbeing and quickly changed back to welfare which is what the lyrics said. Stupendium you madman

[@mattoxkurtz4661]

0:27 Congrats on the 1rd award!

[@christopheralthouse6378]

Stupendium, srsly... Album-Bonus DVD featuring EVERY song you have made thus far with the videos on the DVD... Or perhaps even a Blu-Ray... You'd make a KILLING! You are by far a WAAAAY more entertaining artist than pretty much anything mainstream pop puts out these days... "Why Did I Say OKIE-DOKIE" was the gateway *dose*... NOW I'M HOOKED! 😂😂😂😂😍😍😍😍

[@jonhummel4341]

My clinical assessment of this song: awesome!.

[@karlsundkvist6603]

3:58 "oh of course, i thought that was the place where the planes stood" "well if you are standing there during the time of a liftoff i suggest you better runway"