How to Keep an Eye Out for Malignant Narcissists

[@skillian3826]

My husband tried murdering me 8 weeks ago. He bashed in my face leaving me with brain trauma, a concussion, facial fractures and eye orbital fractures. He's in jail charged with Attempted murder aggravated kidnapping aggravated battery and criminal threat. I meet with my divorce attorney today. She only charged me $50 for the entire divorce.

[@Amandalee80]

I hope he gets found guilty

[@hpy2balive136]

I am so sorry. You don't deserve that. You are valuable and you are so brave for standing up. Sending hugs.

[@VickiBee]

My biological "mother" did that to me when I was 6 & 7. I have long-term traumatic brain injury (TBI) from it and she was always furious at Children's Services for "ruining [her] family." They never take responsibility for a thing they do.

[@LizMitchell-dp9bw]

I guess he was a malignant narcissist? Or psychopath?

[@LizMitchell-dp9bw]

Here's wishing you GREAT REVENGE.

[@mariagill7129]

remember once you go through narcissist relationship it's a long journey to recover. get out ASAP otherwise you're at higher risk of long term depression.

[@tynisharose4252]

It’s so hard when they love bomb out of nowhere it like makes me second guess everything

[@ileanaprofeanu7626]

@@tynisharose4252 you don't have to be certain! I think you can never be 100% sure when you are in it, you need to gain distance first to see it clearly, because they manipulate and manipulate and if they sense you become more certain about their manipualations they will turn the gear up and say whatever you need to hear to keep you stuck! you have to trust your intellect, and if your heart isn't there yet, just fake it 'till you make it

[@melbreazeale1534]

That happened to me. Over time I became more and more depressed and suffered many health issues. Once I got out of the relationship I started to feel so much better. No more depression and medication and no more unexplained medical issues. All Glory to God for restoring me after I came out of the demonic contract

[@504queentiggty]

I kept saying I know he has narcissistic personality disorder but I kept saying all these types doesn’t fit till now okay 😂 I thank you so much for teaching us I knew it was something

[@JohnShalamskas]

@@tynisharose4252 Just think about why you left in the first place. Nothing could possibly lure you back into that hell.

[@genevalawrence801]

Malignant narcissists get off on violating boundaries you set. It makes them feel powerful. If they can violate boundaries, they feel like winners. And over time, it takes more and more "winning" to make them feel powerful. Winning can include hurting you. If you see that you're in a cycle of power and coercive control, please know that it will NOT get better.

[@ajkoots258]

THANK YOU!!!!!!

[@theresathompson4719]

Very true, I know one that taps in with bideo cameras, tape records other people with intent to triangulate and explot others. Lives off the kindness of others than steals and uses video equipment to cause trouble. Go through all your things without asking. They are dangerous and should never have kids!!!

[@flightydancer]

They enjoy going against your wishes just to feel they are in control. You say no and they will do whatever they can to make it yes. Then they justify themselves saying they do it because they love you.

[@LethalWeapon73]

@@flightydancer Or, you’re their wife and they shouldn’t have to respect boundaries. Some see us as their puppet play toy

[@SilentBlueBird4]

How can you escape this? Physically leaving is only the beginning... Does anyone have a lived-experience story of getting free of this kind of person, particularly those that have children ? 😳 Despite his continued attempt to have power over me, I know he actually doesn't have any UNLESS I believe he has.

[@lorrieh73]

It took me 49 years to understand my malig narc mother will never change. I had to go no contact to save myself.

[@anthonyrich6343]

Totally my mom ... she is dangerous... I became disabled with head injury and she had no use for me ... I needed someone to help me through health issues I couldn't walk ... she changed my apartment locks drained my bank account ...I became homeless while disabled and confused... discard and destroy? I still don't understand how I was cut out of a family I put my all into

[@ANANDALEEMA]

I am so sorry you had to experience this. It is horrendous. I hope that you are somehow coping today. Sending you love.

[@REQtip]

This is my husband. I just told him last night that we're done after 20 years. God help me.

[@melbreazeale1534]

I left mine (rather told him he had to move/leave) a year ago after 22years. It was the best decision I’ve ever made. I have so much peace. I can think clearly. I’m not depressed, tired, hopeless, etc. And God has provided everything I need and then some without the ex. I didn’t get anything from the split either. There was nothing to get anyway since some of them actually mess up the finances. Trust me it is a whole new world and all for the better 🙌🏼🤍

[@pelagic6]

When you’re done, you’re done!

[@gottabme]

​@@pelagic6 Absolutely!!

[@p.w.352]

Good for you!

[@REQtip]

Thanks for the support! My daughter and I are good people. We deserve to be happy and free from negativity and malice. I ask for your prayers on this new journey.

[@b-Image]

The thing about Malignant minded people is they can’t see it coming when you outsmart their manipulation. They play victim or get ghost on you. Either way your better off without them. 🎉

[@kiddochocinco4525]

Playing defense ahead use to be so damn fun sometimes 😂

[@aijazsiddique8713]

I outsmarted the malignant narcissist I knew. But it was not due to any smart thinking at my end. I think it was just karma. He fell into the grave he dug himself.

[@mombeach]

They are like Malignant tumors definitely.

[@ZestyAqua]

This society needs to start linking medical with physical in a toxic environment all those chemicals everywhere cause these actual cancers for real. No slavery is acceptable on any level from anyone. Link to reproductive cancers especially in females they should have been testing the menstrual blood this whole time & not pulled mass gaslighting. Globally. That's messy in a nuclear holocaust and it's science when science isn't corrupt it comes out clearer.

[@ZestyAqua]

​@character Correct. Corruption same cycle.

[@ZestyAqua]

​@character he* God has no gender just pointing that out. Thin air.

[@456inthemix]

Ifoubd that was a very apt way of characterising.

[@ReviewsChannel-e4r]

Tumors need to be removed. Our very democracy may be unraveled if MN 45's elected.

[@sonyadreizler7320]

When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal” is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it actually gets near the truth. Narcissists don’t know how to love or be a friend; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissist value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing. They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old. None of this is personal. They’re too terrified to have personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. Moreover, People wonder why they end up hurt, seriously hurt, and even killed for their own actions. Cheating is a choice and there’s simply a lot of ignorance in the process.... Thank you so much for helping me out Metaspyhub@gmail. com. Your advice and services helped me so much. You are a lifesaver !!! The information you gave me about my cheating partner when you gave me access to his phone was everything I needed to get,.. thank you very much..

[@bradmcewen]

Oh my. Well thought out and imo spot on accurate.

[@DeeBigelow]

Perfect and best description I've heard yet. Puts ALL the pieces together including why we hurt so much and pine for them... Because we're REAL and DO know how to connect. We can't comprehend the internal workings of their minds and that THIS is the truth.

[@AlastorTheNPDemon]

Highly accurate. Good to see a look into the internal landscape of a narcissist in the comments section here.

[@erockfreedom6399]

You really nailed it. I read your comment slowly. Thank you for pointing out the reality of it not being personal, from the enabley "ohhh it's not personal."

[@sararichardson737]

The truth hurts and is ugly but you have put it beautifully and written so well . Every point, on point. You know, we know. God bless you. God bless us all.

[@laurajones5352]

When you see their eyes turn black with rage you sense the malevolent nature inside of them, truly terrifyingly scary. Watch out for the malign hoovers after leaving.

[@DanielleStarry]

I remember the first time I saw that look in his eyes. I remember thinking, “ohh, nooo. He’s one of *those* people” and it went on to get worse and worse and worse until he ruined my life and discarded me. I have to laugh because what else am I gonna do.

[@life-rethought]

yes watching cool blue eyes go black, as the Evil was invited into this soul, his soul stepped aside.. and he let evil run free.

[@Gdap41]

Father had black eye rage and exploded out of literally nowhere and threatened to beat me on thanksgiving in front of family. I ran away and never looked back.

[@valerieriggins3184]

​@@DanielleStarryBe Glad You STILL Alive And Was Done A FAVOR They Loose Desire For SOME Victims To Discard.

[@aijazsiddique8713]

Omg the eyes. They are like an abyss.

[@mapleleaf902]

Fear of being killed if you leave. Even If I argue back he would mock and laugh, and would bait me to want to strike him, but I stopped because he isn't worth it. They are like a light switch.

[@jadegreen1554]

A video like this could be lifesaving for people who are terrified and can’t even describe to others or even themselves, why. This video specifically could help victims sort through a lot of debilitating confusion.

[@t.l.7733]

Great video, Dr. Ramani. I believe some other distinctions that separates a Malignant from a Psychopath are: 1) Malignant's need "supply." 2) Malignant's experience Narc rage. 3) Malignant's require Flying Monkeys along w/an audience for many of their tactics. 4) Malignant's are pathological liars & would never admit their guilt. Psychopaths will because they have zero remorse & don't care what others think about them.

[@OFFICIALLUSH]

I agree with all of this, but just like psychopaths, I don’t think Malignants have remorse either. They do however, have extreme shame… hence why they will never admit to a wrong doing. They’ll lie about a murder even when the blood is visibly on their own hands to avoid looking guilty and feeling the dreadful feeling of shame that they know all too well.

[@MetaPhysStore0770]

Omg, #4 is so true, my dad would gladly brag about his lies and getting over on people!!!

[@Pugetwitch]

I have been in relationships with both narcissists and people on the ASPD spectrum, including a psychopath he just got out of a 17-year prison bid for something horrible - other than that he's a successful business person & "outstanding citizen". I was recently dating a sociopath with a lot of narcissistic tendencies casa, he also began to show a lot of BPD traits when it came through a rejection, ghosting, and walking away. We were just hanging out as friends, but I say that we were dating because he was under the impression that we were, so to him we were dating, but to me we were just friends. I'm autistic, I do have a lot of subclinical narcissistic and even some sociopathic traits from in the past when I was homeless, but that's mostly because I didn't have coping strategies back then, and I was hanging out with a gang. I've grown up a lot and went back to school, I actually don't believe in things like stealing I think it's horrible. I think committing crimes as terrible of that violence is only justified when necessary (like if somebody goes to kidnap a kid I think that they deserve to have the crap beat out of them). That being said, I have severe PTSD from years of abuse and I get triggered easily, I have a very short temper and when I'm over stimulated at 10 to freak out on people and I've been called super judgmental and critical. I wasn't even diagnosed with autism until I was almost 40. By then I'd been in over 25 years worth of abusive relationships, one after another. I was also homeless I was a teenager and coming to a lot of real bad and dangerous situations as part of the gang, and later graffiti crew.

[@cynthiabrent6479]

Yep.😢 the one I had to deal with, my brother-- the exact same way and it also included another brother I had too.

[@ellachalpeno6241]

Thank you for adding this

[@jacquelinecoudret5497]

I was raised by one, very traumatizing. Then went and starting dating some as an adult, if you are traumatized and looking for a "protector" and "savior" partner beware of those MN. Finally able to break the cycle! 🎉

[@bellaapple2166]

I had the same parents which caused me to look for a protector in my relationships. Thus led me to dating MN males. It wasn't until therapy I understood what was happening and was able to change this for myself.

[@mvbigmagic4048]

Yeah, this was me. I finally dated a truly malignant narcissist after a string of mildly narc-y men. :( And I broke up with him. When I told my malignant narcissistic mother, I still remember her words, "Why did you do that? That's not what we taught you!" And..... I realize now.... that was yet another lie from my mom. She absolutely taught me to put up with abuse. :( I really am changing my life now. Hopefully it's not too late. Dropping ALL the narc-y people from my life. It's been more peaceful. Sad, but peaceful. Nothing but good supportive people in my life now. My circle is smaller, but it is stronger. Breaking the cycle for my kids. It's so important.

[@jadegreen1554]

Leaving is just the beginning with a malignant narcissist, and navigating someone who wants to ruin you because they cannot have/control you can destroy you mentally. However, it’s the beginning of a difficult road to freedom, and the only way out is through.

[@like.thebird]

I was raised by an incredibly abusive narcissistic mother with an opioid addiction, and this felt very clarifying and educational. Thank you for sharing, Dr. Ramani 🙏 I am going to be 26 soon, and after 13 years of life away from her, I am doing my best each day to heal the wounds of that relationship.

[@TheSahand68]

I think every drug addict including alcoho user should have their parental rights waved as long they sre using drugaddocted.

[@sunnieonesotrue5868]

Hi, I would like to see some videos on the aspects of PTSD that can look like Narcissism.

[@stacyjaye6350]

​@@sunnieonesotrue5868 Crappy Childhood Fairy 😉😘

[@SuperGoofygranny]

@@sunnieonesotrue5868 me too. Also, I had several MN in my life, surely because of growing up with a MN mother, I have now blocked them all, but my oldest daughter was turned against me by them and I would love for Dr. Ramini to do a video about parental alienation, please, thank you.

[@leojablonski2309]

Your mom was the prototype. Look what you got stuck with

[@killerstress]

I have been married to a malignant narcissist for 28 years. I always thought something was wrong with me until recently. Unfortunately, By the time I realized what was really happening, my health and heart were destroyed. I am recovering my heart, but it may be too late for my health. This truly is dangerous.

[@ANANDALEEMA]

So sorry you had/have this experience. My health is destroyed as a result of things done to me by my ex malignant narcissist husband. I nearly died. But far worse is that to my dying day I will not be well physically, let alone emotionally. I am a fighter and do much to manage my life. But it is hard living like this. These people are evil. And no one really understands.

[@youngshelsoncompleteseries]

Exactly, I am suffering here dependent on him financially cant leave, i can understand your pain

[@vickieevans9323]

Here is my truth, when my malignant narcissist father died 4 years ago I was so over whelmed by relief my narcissistic siblings thought it was grief of his death, however I had already been in a form of grief for years(more than 30) knowing something was not right with my father that he could not nor ever had been what a "Father" was suppose to be to his children. it was the same when my mother(covert/submissive) died 29 years ago, it was so confusing to me, that enormous sense of relief I felt after her death, now I understand, Thank you Dr. Ramani for putting the pieces together for me.

[@mday3821]

When my Covert/Malignant mother died, I cried for two days out of relief. I knew something was off, but really didn't know what it was. Taking care of her the last five yrs of her life she got so cruel. She never was the mother I needed or deserved. You're not alone. I think it's natural to feel relief after decades of abuse. We're finally free.❤

[@terrenaguthrie4747]

You are not alone. My mother was a covert narcissist and her husband was a malignant narcissist. She married him when I was 10. He was very violent, controlling and isolated my brother and I. When he died I had a sense of relief but it wasn’t until my mother died that I cried. I cried for days. The sense of relief that it was over and I would never have to deal with them again was overwhelming

[@ZLLi661]

I hear your truth. 👍🏼. It took months of, still am grieving for my dear Mum who passed almost 2 yrs ago. I was not allowed to grieve while caring for her while she was dying from cancer. I had to focus on keeping my sanity while my malignant grandiose sociopathic narc father was abusing her, me and the other scapegoat adult child. He has a gun in the house and seeing him become so much worse than I remember it would not surprise me if he went and got it to use it on anyone who stood up him - me. I was in a job for 17yr and dealing with domestic violence perpetrators and all types of perverse narcissists and how they could suddenly’snap’. In fact there were always red flags - the victims just didn’t know how to read them until too late. I saw red flags and took preventative action as much as I could. Lucky mum was gone 10 weeks after diagnosis. And I’d stopped interaction with my father 3 weeks before she died. Mum saw us never reconciling. She was so trauma bonded she wouldn’t see how psychotic my father had become. 😢 While the golden child had ease of caring for Mum. I stood up to his abuse but would find him later abusing mum for me standing up to him abusing mum and me. He is very perverse, cruel and sick in the head. My narc sister who swore at me and told to grow up and get over it (the abuse of my dying mother), prevented me from attending the spreading of my dead mothers ashes 11 months later saying I was not welcome and that I’ve made everyone’s life a misery and that it’s my fault mum suffered as she was dying and it’s my fault Dad treats me the way he does. All because I informed other people if the dysfunction and abuse and it got back to her and after she told me to fxck off and get over it. She is dead to me. She was never a sister to me growing up just a thing that was verbally abusive, cruel and physically violent with all interaction until I learnt to avoid her. She would lie to our father saying I hit her knowing he would never ask me my version and automatically belt me relentlessly. She would only do this when mum wasn’t in the house coz Mum caught ger out lying so she never did it again when she was around. She’s only stopped after getting engaged, but I realize she just put on a mask and has been lying in wait like a predator, for the opportunity to start up again. Now that mum is ‘out of the house for good’ she’s targeted my kids, my husband and me. So she is now dead to me. I will miss out on her beautiful kids - but at least she cannot attack my kids like she has attacked me. Maybe karma will one day locate her and she will finally be held accountable. I know she is living in a fantasy world and is totally unaware of reality and is the main child caring for our elderly narc father as she is the only one he won’t abuse and accuse and in that regard it sucks to be her. 🤮

[@amezfires9247]

God, I'm not alone in that feeling & reaction?! You're not alone either. My mom died of cancer 5 yrs ago, & I've spent the last 3 of those years full of undiluted wrath towards the hell she put me through. I've been in mourning for a very long time, years before her death, & I've finally reached full acceptance & am moving on. We deserve the peace.

[@ANANDALEEMA]

@@ZLLi661 How awfull. So sorry you had to experience this.

[@BeeBeeBell]

I worked for a malignant narcissist in higher education. My career had been successful and I felt I was contributing until this person, a PhD, was hired in my 20th year. The abuse, rage, and terror was awful. I documented everything. I went outside for therapy. The toxic environment was making me physically and emotionally ill. My therapist pulled me out on sick leave which I had tons of after 20 years working there. I sued. I won. This same individual moved around the country in higher education and repeatedly created a toxic environment where the boards of education would buy their contract out to get rid of them. They became wealthy creating toxic environments and getting the board to pay them off to leave.

[@indiesindie1984]

You were smart to document everything.

[@Sezfluffy]

I can imagine, well done. Always get evidence

[@jellybean6778]

I experienced the same thing. I had worked in professional environments for more than 20 yrs and when I switched jobs to a legal office in a nonprofit organization, they'd brought in a new general counsel at the same time. Her only experience' "managing" a group, she admitted, was raising a brood of kids, which is why all of us, even those with yrs of experience in specialized areas (she didn't have) were treated like 12 yr olds with no skills. It was a horrific experience, the worst toxic environment. I began documenting the harassment, not to use offensively but defensively in case I needed it. In a law office, once you sue for something like harassment, you generally aren't hired again elsewhere, so I did not sue for that and other reasons. I eventually got out, but only after she'd been fired after having been found out by higher level management (her tactics, destruction of morale and creation of a toxic work environment, her nefarious acts and constant lying, harassment suits brought by people in other departments against both her and her flying monkey protege, later made the head of the department) that had been kept in the dark. It was the worst experience of my career. The upside is that, in trying to understand what her problems were and to retain my sanity while I was there, I discovered Dr. R's videos. I have learned so much and now recognize these types and stay clear. I recommend these videos to many people. Thank you, Dr. R, for these educational videos. They have saved my life.

[@BeeBeeBell]

@@jellybean6778 Wow legal field and nonprofit. Rife for narcissists!

[@whereisyourhumanity7557]

Right on! I'm glad you sued and won.

[@NarcSurvivor]

They can’t help it.. they always have to let you know who they are.

[@gottabme]

Then gaslight and love-bomb, manipulating you not to believe they ARE who they've exposed themselves to be!! When they show you who they are, BELIEVE IT!

[@christinesalyer600]

Describes my sister to a "t". She's grown worse after inheriting Daddy's wealth. No, I don't interact with her. But she's equally dangerous lurking in the wings. Listening literally upset my stomach... Thank you for sharing your wisdom and encouragement 🙏

[@indiesindie1984]

My sister did the same.

[@II-zc5lk]

Yes and yes

[@whereisyourhumanity7557]

I'm waiting for Sis to die. I'll send a card with Flying Monkey on it. My neice's fave movie was always the Wizard of Oz.

[@nikkiwilson489]

Sadly I too am currently dealing with a malignant narc brother. I am power of attorney to my narc mum and I’m living in hell at the mo. There are so many disputes and my NM has early dementia. A perfect toxic playground 🥹Wish me luck

[@alexbaird2670]

Same thing happened when my malignant covert narc MIL inherited her late husband's wealth. The "power" of having money the first time in her miserable life went to her head. The power trips and games have been going on for 17yrs now.

[@livelystones7773]

My mother is a manipulative covert/vulnerable narc and my brother a very demonic malignant narc who she enabled. He was such a handful alongside my 3 other brothers that she parentified me to look after them and then scapegoated me for any of the issues that happened. I was raised in this soul destroying environment of secrets, lies and abuse. A terrible thing 😓

[@phillipwhite4741]

Don’t worry your not the only one . Stay strong ❤

[@ys4202]

I was in a relationship with a malignant narcissist for years and what Dr Ramani said is like a blueprint of them. He was gaslighting, controlling and obsessed with other's perceptions of him. It turned out he was manipulating hundreds of other women. After I started learning through these videos and podcasts, I really got the closure I needed and was able to set healthy boundaries.

[@dargeo1406]

Hundreds of other women? Was he from Lancaster, PA? Sounds like the guy I dated… Liar, player, cheater, abuser who presented himself as a “nice guy” online. But I should have known-his dating profile had one picture of staring at himself in the mirror. 👿

[@valerierichards3613]

It's the fear that is so debilitating, everything they do seems strategically planned to take you down. Once you adopt strategies and learn about their personality this enables you to cope better with the relentless attacks, although it's still horrendous. Thank you Dr Ramani you are a lifesaver.

[@costelloandlizzievolk2233]

This happened with a family member who did a smear campaign full of lies against me, and used it to manipulate and hurt my family. It was super upsetting how quickly the enablers believed them and turned against me too. Damaged me and my family a lot. Keeping my boundaries as I can’t cut them out of my life as they’re a family member for now. The pressure from my family to act like nothing happened and be friends with the abuser is nauseating. Totally practising radical acceptance and DEEP techniques, leaning on supports, focusing on rebuilding my life and so grateful for this community. Thank you ❤

[@sunnieonesotrue5868]

Stay strong. The evidence of their sickness is seen in the way they must crush you to feel superior.

[@2bullcrap]

You can cut anyone out of your life if you can handle it.

[@costelloandlizzievolk2233]

@@sunnieonesotrue5868 thank you. I seriously just don’t even know how to be around them or interact with them this Easter for family dinner. I wish I could run away for Easter. But preparing myself to take care of me and focus on healthy safe loving family members, like my nephews and my kitty cat:)

[@badomaji]

I'm always stunned by the cowardice of the enablers. They know what they're doing and it is shameful!

[@A.777-p8m]

This happened to me but I am attempting no contact because I just don't see the point in a relationship and going to family events where you have walk on egg shells and act like a robot. It is incredibly painful though. When they told you as a child, life is not fare.

[@sanjmalik6282]

You've have described the ex perfectly. I never knew what a malignant narcissistic was so I often thought he had psychopath traits. The paranoia was on some next level. The strange thing about power was that he was fascinated with dark forces etc. I literally feared for the life of my children and my life. He is evil.

[@specialtwice4975]

Differences: Malignant and other narcissists want adoration, attention, for you to tell them they are pretty, fluff their feathers, etc. A psychopath doesn't NEED stupid stuff like admiration, attention. That's for stupid people. Instead, they want complete control and power. To manipulate the room or a specific person just to get their way or sometimes just because it's fun to watch the chaos. Now, here is where I noticed a big difference. One time I made a malignant narcissist cry, yes cry. The narc bawled his eyes out. The psychopath, however, didn't cry. The psychopath was always, always in control, always. Now from this observation I also noticed the malignant narcissist was EXTREMELY insecure in an annoying way, and asked for reassurance constantly in a needy way ("what do I do? I don't know what to dooooo. Is this okay? Here, you do this for me. Do I look okay? I don't think my hair is perfect enough. :( I look ugly. How do I fix this?? Please, fix this for meeee. Pleaseeee.") Meanwhile, the psychopath wasn't unsure of anything, or needy, they already knew. Super confident. Super sure of themselves.

[@notme4565]

@@specialtwice4975 thanks for that, I totally agree, have dealt with both

[@cathycarr8085]

My mother. I was the truth seer, scapegoat and hero in my family of origin. I used to think she was borderline/narcissist until I saw this video. As a child I had to testify in court two separate times because my mother’s either boyfriend or husband tried to murder the family. Writing this for the public to witness triggers the old family rule; don’t talk about family secrets. I describe her as evil, now I can see why. I’m definitely a survivor and resilient. Thank you for educating us. It’s helping my healing process.

[@jmacklintoc9617]

This was my dad, a malignant narcissist. He passed away in 1984 at age 81. My brothers, sister , mom and I just thought it was his alcoholism. I went to 12 step co-defendant meetings to recover and heal which helped tremendously, but nobody talked about being a victim of narcissist which was the root of my dad's alcoholism and anger and abuse. God bless you Dr. Ramani for this channel and your gift of helping us victims of narcissist

[@life-rethought]

I was recently asked to speak at a AA and AlAnon women's conference. and I spoke of my short term marriage to a " sober AA" I heard audible gasps in the room when I quoted him saying how all of us "AA's are Narcs and liars". and I watched as lights went on in women's faces when I said " im recovering from another's mental illness" as well as alcoholism. and had to treat the recovery challenge of mental illness separately. I helped a lot of women that day.

[@JJ-mh4xd]

Dr Ramani you made me cry, because you explained so much about what I experienced. My friends got me out of this relationship. I left 2 years ago and I don't regret it.

[@mgb7140]

You and I are part of a small group of survivors who had people believe in us and help us. I would not be a survivor if not for them. I would be dead.

[@clairelane3642]

My former husband and a woman friend saved my life in 1992 from a criminal abuser who murdered his final two victims. I barely escaped and still carry the scars, also survivor guilt.

[@JJ-mh4xd]

@@clairelane3642 im so sorry about that , after i got a real bad beating and look down and seen all my bruises and I had to get out and I put my name on housing list and used a friend address and left a year later

[@soidisant00]

It’s all so sad. And they do know what they are doing. That is what differentiates them from psychopaths…it’s almost WORSE because they DO KNOW the havoc and pain they are causing. I think I would rather get tangled up with a psychopath than another of these.

[@user87912]

2:00 Smear campaign, Physical and verbal abuse, exploitation etc..are all done intensely and carefully with due diligence! Once the narcissist achieves doing this, they let the flying monkeys do the rest and enjoy watching us walk on egg shells! They feel satisfied having complete control over the situation!

[@CG63_CarbFree]

I was raised by a narcissistic father. Until last year, I didn’t know what kind. He was malicious, intentional in his actions, violent. His “control “ mechanisms included threats of killing everyone in the family and then himself. This was usually around the holidays. I finally stood up to him when I was about 26-27. He made another “kill” threat and I stood right in front of him and said. “I’m standing right here - go for it“. I called him out. In turn, He fumed and festered over my response and finally walked away without a word. It was the beginning of freedom for me, but it took another nearly 25 years to completely break free from his manipulations and attempted manipulations.

[@jennyhateseverything]

OMG!! I remember when I was 10 my dad threatened to kill himself and then the next day asked me “did you feel sad?” Because he was mad at my mom

[@KelzAnn7]

I drive for work and have been listening to your videos all day for 2 weeks now and you've helped me understand the dynamics of the abuse I endured growing up and start a much needed healing journey! Ive gone no contact with my entire family and have dedicated my life to reparenting myself and healing the codependency. If it weren't for your videos, I wouldn't have a clue that I even needed any of this. Had no idea how codependent I've been my entire life. You saved me and my mental health. Thank you for all you do and the difference you make in this world ❤️

[@soniahathaway1]

Well done. I did the same, and like you I am listening to these videos to understand and heal.

[@KelzAnn7]

@@soniahathaway1 wow thank you for commenting, I've been watching these videos daily since around when I made this comment and I feel so much farther in my healing journey than I did back then!! I'm glad they're helping you as well ❤️ sending love and warm wishes this holiday season ❤️❤️❤️

[@sharleenplacek3698]

My husband leans to Malignant Narcissist mixed with Covert. He had a good childhood. I myself had a traumatic childhood with molestation, death of a parent and poverty and grew up being a empath person. I seem to attract malignant narcissists. I believe these people are mostly born with their disorders and it is not from childhood, but only rarely. I think too often the medical community tries to blame every mental illness on childhood, but yet we don’t blame every other medical disease on childhood like MS etc. My opinion from what I have witnessed in life with these people.

[@ct6852]

Yeah I never really bought the abuse excuse. Seemed more like just a cruel brain and an addiction to causing drama and problems.

[@rharia]

Excellent video. I divorced a female malignant narcissist and it was everything described here. When planning to leave, get as much support from family and friends before leaving. Your support doesn’t have to get it 100% but by keeping them in the loop they don’t get blindsided when you actually leave and take it personally that they had no clue. They become easy recruits for the narcissist. At the same time, be prepared to lose all of your common friends… the more you defend the harder it will be. If you can keep one or two to your side with keeping them in the loop beforehand it will help your mental health when you leave and recover. Anyone you suspect will tell their spouse who will tell the narcissist, just let go.

[@nancyP7448]

You have given me a lable for my son. He has scared me most of his life. I've seen this horrible darkness in his eyes. He has done so many physical and mental things to me. I have not talked to him in 18 years. I don't want him anywhere near me. He scares me. I suffer from major anxiety and have been ruminating. Thank you for this video.

[@jennyhateseverything]

He was probably abused by someone close to you

[@jennifer_y_fischer]

Omg thank you. I was an idiot and believed my mom had changed. I'm disabled and unable to live independently. So I let her convince me to move back in with them. I am desperately trying to manage this as much as possible. I've become isolated because people don't believe me. They say I must be making it up, or I'd just leave. Well, nothing bad enough has happened to involve authorities, and there is no foster system for the disabled anyway. I can't get officials involved because my parents don't have to let me live here. I contacted some friends I knew from 25 years ago who already knew what I went through as a kid. They are coming over today to help me figure this all out. Now, I feel better equipped to have the conversation because I do know how to handle her. I just need backup.

[@GodsChildTM]

This is exactly what my ex was. Verge of psychopathy... Extremely scary and dangerous!

[@mr.t658]

All the bitches be portraying their ex’s as monsters lmao

[@barefootincactus]

No contact people, no contact. It works.

[@LisLara]

I can tell you the story of almost 20 years with a cover malignant narcissist... Watching your clarifying videos helped me connect the dots and kick him out of my life. Thanks again, Dr. Ramani 💝💖

[@melbreazeale1534]

Same!! 22years and learning this was eye opening. No going back 🙌🏼

[@lauriesyme207]

The woman who gave birth to me. I’m honestly surprised she didn’t just stab me to death on the spot. People think she’s wonderful. People are so unaware.

[@marie22213]

I'm addicted to your videos. Arm yourself with knowledge to keep yourself safe. And truthfully malignant narcissists are insane! I dated one and he was controlling, obsessive, sadistic, jealous. Sometimes he'd look at me and I could see he want to kill me literally. I finally packed up my shit and ran away to a local shelter 🤦

[@Monipenny1000]

According to the information presented in this video, my dad, a brother and a sister are all three malignant narcissists. Maintaining distance with them throughout my life was not enough! I was finally able to cut emotional ties with my dad 3 months into counseling before I could even accept the reality that he is a narcissist, that was last Tuesday. I am healing mentally, and I am beginning to feel much lighter.

[@terrid.9204]

I now fully believe that my adult daughter is a malignant narcissist. Early attachment disruption likely came in the form of her father's mother, who told her from birth that I didn't care about her. I didn't know until years later what she was saying. She even told my daughter that she was her biological mother. I never thought a "loving" grandmother could be so evil. By the time my daughter's grandfather finally told me what was going on, the damage was done. My daughter has all the usual narcissistic traits, but explosive angry blow ups out of the blue are a trademark. I am sure that Publix in Miami still has a video of her screaming at me and slapping me in the face. But here's a better example of her malignant narcissistic behavior. Before she married, she slept around indiscriminately. One day, she called me from a police station fake crying that she'd been drugged and raped and the police wanted me to come in. Not her. The police wanted me to come. I did. She sniffled a lot but no tears. I doubted her claim from the start, and I think that the police did too. They collected stuff from her apartment and did blood tests and a rape kit. But they watched my reactions to her closely. One took me outside and asked me what I was thinking. I said that I wasn't there so I couldn't say what was what. I was never her enabler in any of her antics. That is why I don't think that calling me was her idea. After investigating, there was no physical evidence. The wealthy young man was not arrested. I never heard anything more from the police. She never spoke about it again. I think she wanted control of him and failing that became vindictive and hoped to punish him. I live 1000 miles away from her now and won't visit her again or allow her in my house again, so I am not physically afraid of her. But I fear for my 9 year old grandson. The photos she sends always show a very unhappy boy. I can't help him, and he is the only reason I keep in contact with her. If not for him, she would be dead to me. She is my only child.

[@vogeljennifer6318]

I am so sorry, but fully understand

[@GodsChildrenOnEarth]

I am so sorry that happened to you. My ex’s mother was a narcissist and she told my daughter that I don’t lover her. My family later (after I divorced) told me the crap they heard her tell my daughter: “take advantage of men, use people, your mother doesn’t love you, your mother is a bad person, your mother tried to kill you,etc”. It’s disgusting! I feel relief she is no longer alive to poison my children! Thank you God!

[@benyameenyitzhak1036]

Omg I thought I had it bad. 😭

[@Independence247]

I walked away from my only daughter with no contact for close to 2 years now she has all the symptoms of a malignant narcissists.

[@JamesandHarry]

It’s good you keep around for your grandson he might turn to you for help in future hopefully.

[@Subspace._tripmine]

The one person who almost broke me was possibly a malignant narcissist. I went through 3 DV courses because I was trying to understand what was happening to me (even though he didn't hit me). He was making me crazy. He was very controlling. He would sit outside my workplace and wait for me, and that freaked me out. He wanted me covered head to toe, wearing turtleneck sweaters and long skirts. Again, I was trying to be understanding and didn't know what narcissism was back then and because he was diagnosed as a person with schizoaffective disorder, I was trying to understand that diagnosis and thought it was that. I had no clue that he may have been a malignant narcissist. Now I can spot the different levels of narcissism because I know what they are, but back then I had no clue at all. Very scary. It has been several years now, and I'm glad I was able to protect my daughter and get away, but healing from that takes long a long time.

[@Pugetwitch]

It's really difficult when these personality disorders comorbidly present alongside with other issues, such as substance use disorder, or cluster a disorders, those are so chaotic and of themselves. Or if they have a substance use disorder and drug-induced psychosis along with narcissistic pd or APD.

[@glizta42]

Turned down a party invitation to a small gathering of work narcissists. I used to attend but now conveniently have other conflicting plans and bow out.

[@Jen.K]

My ex-husband was/is one of these malignant types. It's true, when we were going through separation and divorce, it was one of the most stressful times of my life. I saw the absolute worst in him and was in a state of fear for about 4 years. I knew he was punishing me, trying to control me and would have probably killed me if he thought he could have got away with it. All the while, being with his new partner, who he had been cheating on me with for years. According to our daughter, who now has a 'good' relationship with him, he has changed. But I will never trust him, not after what I saw him capable of doing. The cause of his malignancy is accurate too. He came from a family with a lot of physical violence and he experienced abuse from a young age.

[@nisha8500]

I really don't have enough words to say thanks to you .. You don't even know what priceless work you are doing for humanity... Your channel is one of the best things on the internet ... For years it will be helpful for all the next generations Thank You❤

[@joybarton3460]

Thank you Dr. Ramani. My father raged, abused my mother physically and verbally. It was a fear filled home. We were in control of his emotions. It was walking on egg shells. Mom tried to leave with us kids but always went back to him. They stayed in marriage for 54 years till mom passed. My dad even screamed at her in her sick bed. He passed 7 years after mom. I have had high anxiety and depression most of my life. After mom passed, dad was controlling of me. I still love him but not the things he did. Thank you for your compassion and helping others going thru this

[@joannelauder]

Dark triad is my narcissist. Kind of freaks me out to hear it described, but I guess I've already been dealing with it for years. Thanks again Dr. Ramani. You are a lifesaver. Literally.

[@Matriarch57]

Your not kidding. I just watched it and I’m numb, it was so stunning to hear.

[@fifilafleur5555]

Protect yourself at all cost from this type of relationship! I was raised by at least 1 malignant narcissist, if not 2. I’m not sure how I survived my childhood & adolescence. Now I have a half sister who is absolutely vicious and was turned against me by my dad’s wicked wife. I had a hypertensive crisis and was sent to the ER after having contact with this sister. My blood pressure was so high I was at risk for a heart attack or stroke! Later I developed stage 4 metastatic cancer after these “b”s smear campaigned me & turned family against me. I was then completely ostracized and left for dead.

[@scottmatznick3140]

That was how I acted when I was addicted to heroin and crack. No doubt about it. Fortunately (unfortunately for my conscience; those memories are very hard), I'm not like that when I'm clean.

[@aniokay]

Yes, I have Complex PTSD, because my father was a malignant narcissist. This is very confirming.

[@revertinthemaking]

You should be constantly employed as an expert witness in the judicial system, and educating them, constantly.

[@SynchronisticAlli]

Law enforcement and family court supports these people!

[@valerieriggins3184]

Because They Usually Are One Themselves!!!!

[@primsandwhims7533]

Exactly 💯💯💯. Sick evil judges that will one day be judged by the their creator and oh I can't wait .

[@AnimalFarm341]

As do the PhDs who evaluate them.

[@imanii4u]

I’m a living witness.

[@AmariaZu]

I'm 39 years old. I'd been following you after my suspicion of my stepdaughter's high conflict other parent being on the bpd spectrum and ended up starting to listen along to your narcissism videos. I tend to stay away from content focused on narcissism and for a good few years I couldn't figure out why, turns out, as my therapist has now had enough evidence from me and my spouse, my MOTHER is most likely a malignant narcissist. I was avoiding it because it scares me, because I'm already dealing with my own disordered mental states- generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD from childhood trauma being raised in abuse by her. I'm scared of being like her and unsure how tf I somehow I still am not. You've been gently cguiding me away from that fear. Thank you.

[@joanndeck4315]

What do you do when these types are in government, health care, law enforcement, education? People need to start WAKING UP and SPEAKING UP. As if some pretty words with a fancy title, such as “Code of Ethics” or “Practice Standards”, actually means anything to these people! The public really does not have any protection at all.

[@gottabme]

🎯 Facts!!

[@yanamicheala3800]

Facts!!! My ex's mother was a nurse and had ZERO empathy. Walked around like she was god.

[@j.l.777]

I experienced this recently myself. I am in the Smear Campaign stage now. During my time with this person they were on top of me throughout all waking hours. Texting, calling, you name it. It was as if I was in fight or flight mode constantly. I could never decompress. After it ended, the stalking began. So on top of all the other feelings he produced in me, I would have to add paranoia and fear of retaliation. It is as if you cannot trust anyone at all anymore. I was completely TERRORIZED! Thank you, Dr. Ramani, to continue to bring light onto such a confusing and not nearly enough known about topic. I watch your videos at this point to simply keep me vigilant and as safe as possible. Feels like they never truly go away. 😔

[@rosieE121]

This is a very thorough and accurate description. It's hard to go for help when so many resource people are themselves malignant. What can one do? It's very complex and there is no way to survive without friends and supporters who get it. You practically have to be a victim yourself to 'get it'. We must be in self destruction mode when we idolize that type of personality so easily among our leaders.

[@zaviahopethomas-woundedsou9848]

My SIL is a malignant, self righteous, covert, narc and why I walked away from my whole family. No one else was willing to stand up for the truth around her. It was the best decision ever!

[@patrickbinford590]

Thank you, Dr Ramani, for the masterful and precise breakdown between malignant narcissism and psychopathy. I learn a GREAT deal through your knowledge.

[@sarahchan9850]

I love you, Dr. Ramani! You are a huge blessing to me. I’m divorcing from a malignant narcissist after 25 years of coercive control!

[@hopeellis5216]

lived with the personality you describe, destroyed my life. there is no therapy to fix it.Threatened with murder,economic ruin etc and he succeeded. there is no law to protect us.Beyond the comprehesionof of lawyers, family and friends .

[@tricia007100]

Same thing happened to me. They are con artists on every level.

[@genevalawrence801]

I feel this. I did find a therapist worth working with, and a community nonprofit that was helpful in planning a safe exit, but law enforcement was zero help.

[@AndiRose21]

"You do you" is the attitude to dealing with them. Totally separate from anything about them because it's not about "me" at all.

[@taramco1110]

Every word in this specific video (and I love Dr Ramani videos) described my ex husband and our marriage. He was even diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder in his early 20s (now early 40s) but I feel that this or the dark triad are so much more accurate. Frightening. Glad my young children and I made it out safely- I was afraid for my life during certain times. I’ve seen him use and manipulate every single person in his life. But me…he had a special affinity for being cruel and purposely hurtful toward me. It became his favorite form of narcissistic supply…having control over my emotions, scaring me, hurting me, disturbing me. He’s pure evil.

[@ladystormhealing]

She's describing traffickers and pimps too.

[@costelloandlizzievolk2233]

I had a dating experience with a guy like this a couple years ago. And yes he was very charming confident successful kind complimentary and respectful in the beginning, only to do a complete turn and be really awful mean selfish unsafe and disrespectful. Super glad I got away from him. I listened to my body as it was telling me something was wrong, and turns out he had a girlfriend he wasn’t honest about. He totally used my info to manipulate me to get what he wanted. It’s shocking. But proud of myself that I’ve learned enough to get out. Thank you ❤

[@GrannySanny]

Finally a description that fits my ex. He was not smart enough to be successful but had no problem using others for profit or his need for control. I wish I had known what it looked like when he first took advantage of me. I was so naïve that he was able to convince me up was down for far too many years and to question my own reality.

[@annicks7385]

My mother. Exactly to the T. There were times she was a psychopath... Hitting me until my nose was bleeding But she would smile in front of the world and did so many favors for people so they thought she was wonderful. Years later... Many people see her for who she is.

[@willemkoppier4540]

Projected it onto me, correct. Dragged me down to such a dark place. I sank down to a level of anger, jealousy and sadness I didnt even imagine could exist in my head. I have behaved terribly and am very sad about certain things I said and did, all out of frustration and despair. Thank god its over, however, the pain still remains.

[@KaarinaKimdaly]

I hear you and share in your pain, for it was done to me, too.

[@taralilarose1]

Wow! You're describing my brother perfectly Dr. Ramani.

[@indytoby1]

My brother as well

[@susanmartin6159]

Mine too.

[@horsewnoname1415]

My dad's probably a malignant narcissist. He'd never go to therapy to find out lol. It's made me pretty good at spotting narcissist behavior which has come in handy lately. T-thanks dad?

[@GrandmaMaeCorporation]

Doctor Ramani, you nailed it again. The only thing worse than being married to a narcissist is divorcing one! Thanks to you I’m learning to take my power back. My weakness is hope; I try to believe they could become a better person. I predict he will die of a raging heart attack as he doesn’t take care of himself, engages in types of self indulging behaviors, won’t take my advice. I think it’s important to be aware of narcissism so I don’t get side struck. This is why I lean on you to keep me focused. I know everything you say is correct, I have a tendency to look for the good in others so I need to keep it real. Bottom line people get what they want.

[@dorothyholland3093]

You did a great job describing the malignant narcissist and the dynamics of a relationship with them. Please give us more information on this.

[@eyeoffthetiger2691]

Are you from Holland 🇳🇱

[@michellehouse-hq7mh]

Narcissist are a form of psychopath.

[@phalinimcleod8819]

Yes. I want to know about all the different kinds of narcissists, their different characteristics and behaviors.

[@garysmith4796]

Amen sista doctor. Thanks for ALL the guidance. It is so true that going deep does NOT work with a narcissist. Being aggressive does not work. Being passive does not work. What does work is not personalizing ANYTHING and focusing on the exit plan (whenever you can exit). Have a good therapist who will help you keep your sanity if you must stay so that you will not lose your mental health and hopefully not even lose your personality. Keep on being expressive, flexible and emotional, but please all with OTHER PEOPLE. Doctor, you are a miracle worker !

[@stephenkarla7113]

They enjoy when anything negative happens to someone else and will tell it far and wide.

[@aprilbuckner7131]

As I listen to you, near all of these characteristics are exactly what my partner is. All of the anger, the lying, and manipulation, constantly berating me. I honestly don't know how I have survived 10yrs of this, but even worse, what I've condoned and continue so. Thank you for speaking all of these truths. It's so hard to break the cycle. I know I'm strong, I'm just tired of being strong.

[@Groundwater24]

You are a chosen one. You will make it, trust me.

[@bumblebee_ms]

My malignant smother was physically abusive to me, no one else. As an adult now I can tell you I am going thru a huge healing process.

[@MariKehrwald]

I wrote a whole synopsis of my story to only lose it while no editing. I will rewrite it again soon. Just thinking about it and verbalizing it takes a lot of energy. Thank you dr Ramani!!!❤❤❤

[@sunnieonesotrue5868]

The hardest thing for me is having the very person who slanders and dismisses me, tell me she loves me.

[@jensanders8990]

Felt this one, he does that all the time to me

[@CaptainPisspants-n8s]

ITS A LIE EVERY SINGLE TIME

[@kjbkjhkjhjk7775]

the love the way we live under their thumb, love is freedom not control

[@Gracelandscounselling]

Words mean nothing! Behaviour says everything!

[@elizabethalexander6528]

My husband was one of these and I was sober in recovery when I met him. I had a young son and I went to college and had a situation where his lying and his family one day just not liking me I decided I was not going to continue the relationship. I moved to Houston and started a job that should have been a life time career. My son was 3 and he stayed with my parents while I trained extensively. 6 months into it, my son had an accident and it was bad. So as a result the idea of being cared for by this man looked good if I could be a stay at home mom. Something I now know is what I wanted all along. Its humbling and its not easy to work thru and there's too much to my story. In the end I relapsed with alcohol and its was a descend into hell. I do not think I want another significant partner that I live with. I am too happy and it took so much I do not want to risk it. 562 days sober. I have been in recovery since 82. Obviously , I have had years of therapy. I am still there.

[@costelloandlizzievolk2233]

I think the malignant narcissists came out loud and clear during covid times. They really showed their true colours. I found it super difficult to learn these things about people I cared about. The selfishness and inconsideration of how their actions affected others is mind boggling. But now at least I know who they really are and can keep my boundaries accordingly. ❤

[@Sezfluffy]

Yes and they bully u to get vaccines

[@aubraehersel7720]

So true. Willing to sacrifice grandma rather than wear a harmless mask

[@DianaMarkmiller]

Oh my goodness. Recently divorced after 63 years. Dr. Ramini you have just described my experience through my entire life, exactly. I don't have the fear that I had, but I still struggle with guilt that I could have done better to keep the family calm and peacefully. Thank you so much for the validation. It was not me!

[@paulinemasri9149]

He left me,after 7yrs thx god feel so much better

[@leonellie1]

It’s been a rough out. Childhood then 33 marriage. Surrounded I was

[@pocahontas4583]

I’m realizing my ex is extremely focused on money and anything that involves spending his own is seen as a threat. He’s threatened me if he’s ordered to pay child support and gets an extremely disturbing tone telling me “that’s not what you want to do” (but we live in a state that’s very strict about it. So a judge may order it anyway). Basically letting me know he’s going to get revenge if he has to pay ANYTHING as part of our divorce. He pays NOTHING towards our kid’s expenses and spent most of the marriage trying to live off of me like his life goal was to be as lazy as possible. But he will NOT work hard for money. His focus is on scamming and swindling other people out of money and making sure no one gets any of his.

[@HouseKatArmy]

This is so hard when it is a parent and sibling. It is so so hard to walk away. I am dealing with this right now,. AsI was watching this video, my sister who spent the entire day yesterday abusing me and threatening me with violence and legal issues over my aging narcissist mother's care, calls me saying "I am so so sorry". I had to hang up, and block her number. I cannot take it anymore. Thank you so much Dr. Ramani for your caring and helpful videos.

[@ea1112]

Brilliant and so timely for me. You describe my husband exactly and its vital I remember this because he has just made contact again 8 years after a judicial separation. Frightening.

[@CandiceLawless-li4fd]

Thank you, DoctorRamani, for all of your videos. It has really helped me so much over the years. Especially this video. I've been in a relationship for 5 just starting to come out the fog. Everything is very clear now. I've learned so much from your videos to help me navigate through all the madness. After watching this video helped me to determine or confirm rather, that yes the person I'm dealing with is definitely malignant. You don't even know him, but you described him exactly!! Every single thing you said was absolutely spot on. It's very scary to be stuck or trapped in a relationship like this. But somehow I've managed to take my power back. With help from your videos. Now I'm just preparing myself to leave. Hasn't been easy, but I'm getting closer, stronger, to reaching that goal. God willing.

[@costelloandlizzievolk2233]

Yep that was my childhood. Super sad 😢I see it in others too and it’s disturbing. Grateful to be able to learn heal and grow. Thank you ❤

[@Find_Amelia_Island]

Truth. Frightening entities but getting away is necessary and possible. "Stop caring about them"... turn your back to them and never, ever, ever return.

[@Sezfluffy]

I don't know about you all but I went to therapy in my 20s and was an air hostess...to literally fly away from them all, in my 30s had chronic fatigue and in my now early 40s finally see my narc dad for who he is. Years have been wasted hoping he will change, forgiving endless transgressions and verbal diatribes. My mum it nearly ended her but she got away in the end bless her . To all those younger than me please see the person for who they are and never go back. Ever. I don't want him to suffer but il be so happy when he dies and I don't have to tolerate any more twisted conversations ever again

[@pwhite5411]

It sounds like you’ve met my mother. That was our childhood, accused and punished for things we never did. She believed what she conjured up and if we attempted to provide facts, we were accused of lying. Cruel, cunning, manipulative and exploitative. I have no idea how we survived her.

[@jans724]

This describes my ex very well. Unfortunately I have to "co-parent" and must find a way to protect my baby daughter against the narcissist mother. When I first learned about covert narcissism I knew this was spot on. But it was something more.., pure psychopathy but also the need for supply. Malignant covert narcissist is spot on. It is very difficult to understand. Hard to fathom that a mother can have no feelings whatsoever to her baby.., no empathy, no conscience. It is pure evil! After one year of smear campaign, false police allegations, custody trials..., I am now finally and gradually moving into a better place. Custody trials upcoming but I now have good hopes after the custody evaluator came out in my favour. Even though courts and the system is stacked against men/ fathers. All my focus now is to find ways to protect my daughter.

[@jbullets5198]

Yes. The paranoia is often not talked about too much with this type of narcissism. I'm a survivor and have witnessed it first hand. They will make you completely question your reality and often question their sanity and yet still remain with them due to the push n pull behaviors and gaslighting. It's so twisted honestly.

[@cynthiabrown5468]

These videos are so informative and to the point. No fairy dust or beating around the rose bush. Just facts and logic. I've learned so much and subscribe to the monthly course. Thank you for educating the public and fighting the fight.

[@lauravitale8007]

Very educational! Thank you for the thorough explanation of malignant narcissism and the dark triad. Such a creepy personality disorder, yet it's all around us.

[@phalinimcleod8819]

Yes. It's a pandemic.

[@joshuareese4658]

Dr. Ramani your just perfectly described my boss, thank you for the information. I will use this information to protect myself from now on.

[@vaishnavipandula1090]

I want Karma for the malignant ones who hurt me.. the rage I have!

[@tricia007100]

The rage was something I had never felt before...it lasted nearly 6 months then shifted to uneasiness and has settled into sadness. Although, now and then that fire comes back and burns for a few hours or a few days. I don't think there is any way to get over this kind of damage.

[@Groundwater24]

That is understandable and I can relate. Take it out on a punchbag or another form of physical exercise. Release that anger in a healthy way and eventually it does dampen down as the months pass. You will be just fine.

[@valerieriggins3184]

​@@tricia007100IF You Don't SEE Healing And Give Up On Self..... Because Of Who Didn't Appreciate You. Than You Won't Get Healed.

[@TheMissmarinochka]

This is so true! And it is true that their personalities are so attractive in the beginning. They also create a perfect mirror of what you want. It is like seeing a perfect reflection of yourself...

[@yvonnewhitfield860]

Thank you, Dr. Ramani. It's incredible how accurately and thoroughly you describe the malignant narcissit. I had a 7-month relationship with one. I managed to pull away, thank goodness. It is just sheer resolve that l would not allow him to destroy me that has allowed me to overcome the harm that he inflicted. The psychological and emotional trauma are real. I can't imagine what it's like for people who have to live for years with these individuals.

[@odettegreen1539]

What do you do when the narcissist is a police officer or a lawyer? Reporting the narcissist has led to these narcissists in enforcement positions being advised by the authorities to 'fix the situation'.

[@lindsaywilliams1554]

Love this question

[@thankyoujesus2836]

I think we have more of these than we like to admit to. I don’t trust anyone anymore

[@odettegreen1539]

@@thankyoujesus2836 my dad was a police inspector and my mom a nurse/midwife. My mom's family has an incestuous culture which my dad exploited. When mom allegedly told him that only one of their 3 daughters was his, he thought nothing of taking the eldest's virginity and continued relations. When my mother's niece got pregnant for him mom sent her away (stillborn daughter). When that same niece gave birth to her second son for her own husband my mom tied her tubes to ensure she had no children for my dad (mom was midwife to them all). My sister became the village whore and died when this same niece found out she was competition for my dad's affections. Who do you report these things to? The code of silence among officers and family is strongly enforced even now.

[@Pugetwitch]

Another thing that's terrifying to consider is the fact that a lot of police officers are on the antisocial personality spectrum, also a lot of correctional officers, just people that work in law enforcement in general. A lot of them are drawn to that because it requires a position of authority where they have control over others. Lawyers, judges, surgeons, doctors, nurses, etc. People who have the lives of others in their hands.

[@loner8045]

What if the narcissists are paramedics?