Don’t Be Like Us! | Imp And Skizz Podcast (Ep94)

In this episode of the Imp And Skizz podcast, we continue with more stories from way back in Episode 6 when we talked about how much we can very much be morons.
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[@trash__queen]

Impulse: i broke the vending machine Skizz: i made a bomb!

[@AlbertMoff]

Skizz: are we the bad guys 😂

[@craigcampbell195]

Skizz: I almost got bit by a snake! Impulse: You think that's bad, I committed election fraud

[@jamiecook1522]

skizz has insane dad lore

[@browniebugz_gacha]

He rlly does

[@nevets1726]

I'm so mad at impulse for just ignoring skizz's joke about the basketball cards. "Sir that's a bottlecap" had me dying 😂😂

[@creativecraving]

7:25 That $20 meant more to you at 13 than $125 does, now. You made the right decision, both times. You did take a risk, though!

[@narpassword0]

Skizz: Gets hit by his own car for a joke. Also Skizz: Wears sunglasses indoors to keep from getting hit by Nerf darts.

[@Ligands23]

Saying "Also Skizz" is pretty misleading... it's more like 'Teen Skizz' vs. 'Dad Skizz'!

[@LaGrenouille09]

40:53 Skizz cry-laughing is so funny. This type of laughter is good for the soul 😂

[@iammeandthatshowiam]

1:47 Thanks for the idea! Double speed sounds like a dolphin and half sounds like a creepy old lady 😂 We need both turned into horns 😂

[@DocileEngineer]

He’s a witch!

[@Wil_The_Hermit]

If cub sees this, it will probably happen…..

[@sirboredom1012]

To me it sounded like a kookaburra.

[@jane_doughnut]

If the broken street lamp really bothers you, skizz, maybe around Christmas time you could go to your town's electric company and pay a past due balance. You took the lights off of your street, but you're keeping them on for someone who needs it. Much love, and thanks for the background to my walk today.

[@beanebabie]

Listened to the laugh both on double speed and 0.25 speed, both delightful 😂

[@SithLizard24]

Someone should really clip both of them at those speeds, because I could laugh at that all day 😂

[@landericus]

Wow that is amazing

[@RikkuTakanashi]

It's glossed over by Skizz being a crazy person, but as we all know, Skizz loves his daughter to pieces and I'm just so glad he happened to decide he wanted to carry her, that day. There's a multitude of different explanations for it, propheticism, guardian angel, spirit animal/guardian coming in clutch, protective family ghost, god, various gods, dad instincts, you name it. But whatever made you carry her that day, I think we're all thankful.

[@daviddapper5613]

i watched that on double speed.... i can recommend it for the people who didn't!😂

[@nurikoinsane]

I absolutely loved it! 😂😂

[@Wil_The_Hermit]

I’ll do that after I’ve watched it normally

[@Ca7iburn]

0.25x speed is just as funny 😂

[@fieryhephestus]

lol same

[@ericduhaime]

And at 0.5 speed they sound like the are drunk!

[@jessicageistlinger8170]

You know I can’t get enough of you guys… I listen to the podcast on my commute to work, and it makes the drive through the corn not just bearable, but enjoyable. You guys are funny, but your insight is the best part of every podcast. I love that you explore things from many angles, and I like your ability to mentally explore a wide range of subjects and articulate your thoughts in a relatable way. Keep up the awesome work you goofs…I need lots of content to get me to work and back!

[@TinaLegend]

Watching it on double speed makes impulse laugh sound like a dolphin

[@palangston1]

The suggestion to listen to that laugh double and then quarter sheet was top notch 😂😂😂😂😂

[@antjer.1377]

I think Skizz's bad luck is because he used up all his probability that the universe allocated to him by throwing at lights and power lines 😅

[@chakaar1290]

Long time watcher, first time commenter, but I had to break my silence out of solidarity (sorry jimmy). Impulse, when I was about your age or maybe a year older, my father had me move his van for him while he was trying to work on it or something, that parts a bit fuzzy. Anyway, he had me try to put it in reverse and back it up a bit, but I somehow get it into drive and drove it straight into his bedroom wall. Like you, i didn't go all the way through, but the wall needed major repairs, though the van only got a bit of cosmetic damage. He was an absolute angel about it though, even though he had the right to tear me a new one, haha. +1 for good fathers!

[@haldalas]

I also drove into a wall about that age, but instead of the car crashing through it, I crushed my bike against the wall and its pedal smashed through and out into the room on the other side. Everything else was fine, there was just a pedal-sized hole in the wall. I have no idea why I didn’t just, you know, not run into it

[@violetroberts9281]

"I never did, I was equally abusive to everyone"😂😂😂😂

[@auntypuds99]

Skizz laughing so hard he couldn’t talk was the best 😂

[@GamerGump]

We need a goat horn of the double speed laugh.

[@Kiwimarauder]

1:40 Yep, went back. Impulse sounds like a penguin. 6:58 Flashbacks to Wilson from Home Improvement 9:20 You just made an ebay sales person very unhappy with that statement xD 24:57 It's so weird to me how many episodes the podcast has, sometimes I feel like it's still brand new! 35:42 "You tell it!" Lol 35:59 Aww, Impulse

[@mtn_linda364]

10:14 Even as a kid, Skizz knew how the world works.

[@BjornJensen-on2lz]

banging metal tools into wires is how they made the laser gun noises in star wars

[@laineywright2696]

Who would have known that Skizz, dear, sweet, protector, and caring man that he is... Would completely rupture at the busted lip of Jessie. Oh, and Impulse, let's not forget you are using those little pry-bar fingers to sneak a cold drink and that's the best you could remember? LOL I loved the video.

[@lyndonzook4452]

ImpulseSV: Destroyer of Mayo jars and vending machines

[@javedansari-nb2pk]

1:28 Dude, I watch everything on 2x speed. EFFICIENCY. honestly once you get the hang of it, it feels normal and the real ‘normal’ feels like turtle’s pace.

[@mrfahrenheit677]

rotting your brain

[@BTGTB]

Same, and if you use Chrome or Firefox, you can hit ctrl-shift-j, then paste in document.getElementsByTagName("video")[0].playbackRate = to speed up to 16x (I'm usually 2.5-3.75). Also works on adds, so set to 16x and anything less than ~80 seconds is over quicker than the skip button appears.

[@nightmarewolfy8087]

bro same lol

[@finalbarrage7108]

in the smoke story, slizz said "that took a while to be funny", such a good line :D

[@emilyballard6035]

I loved listening to this it felt like my listening to my dad and uncle talk about their childhood

[@AtticHaunt321]

"I wasn't as bad as Howard Stern." Low bar there, Imp...😂

[@Ladylothlorian]

Skizz has the best laugh, sitting by myself smiling like a doofus.

[@Ms_Crafty_]

So Skizz was a complete menace. Got it. LOL

[@bramblechaser162]

This is definitely my favorite episodes. I was laughing the entire time.

[@gabeyplays]

Jimmy’s video popped up in my recommended last week actually! I purposely didn’t search it up to see if it would get on my recommend lol! So funny to just see all the comments on that video that either came from the podcast or from others who got it recommended to them

[@dragonladyusps]

Skizz and his laughing so hard he was crying made me laugh so hard I was crying

[@bakerp_5163]

Okay so I work in HVAC and work with refrigerant on a daily basis. I’m careful with it not because it’s toxic or had the possibility of killing you instantly but because it’s a slow killer. It’s when you forget about it that it gets you. I had one a few years ago where I had safely removed “all” of the refrigerant so I thought. Turns out my pump was broken and I cut into a live line in a basement. 3 things to know about refrigerant it’s heavier than air, it’s invisible and it will asphyxiate you if you continue to breathe it. Well I held a cloth over the pipe to stop oil from spraying everywhere and waited for it to stop. Big mistake. I remember looking out into the basement and seeing a cloud of mist filling the basement right at my eyeline and slowly starting to feel dizzy. Thankfully I had presence of mind to just let the refrigerant spray and let oil go everywhere or I and anyone who came to check on me would have been in serious trouble. I walked out of that basement told the homeowners about that mistake and then waited for the refrigerant to dissipate before walking back down there. But oh boy that was scary and I have no desire to be anywhere close to that danger again. That being said. Listening to your stories Skizz I have seen and heard a lot of similar ones in my day to day and think how do people get into these situations? I can’t speak for you but I know that for me it’s a lapse in judgement for a split second that usually puts me there and has me thinking about it for years to come. Glad you’re still around to tell the tales. Don’t let the next tale end in a different kind of video.

[@toxicjo]

22:38 I'm still too short to see the very front of the car from the driver's seat, you just gotta guess 😅 and I drive a truck lol

[@tamstertx63]

On doing the naked walk across campus, I would have started up a marching cadence and double timed it across like I had meant to do that the whole time lol

[@fizzplease6742]

That "double speed laugh" needs to be a horn, please.

[@mtn_linda364]

Yes!!!

[@sbalget]

Honestly, those are probably the coolest looking collectable cards I've ever seen, so considering how much some people will spend on cards, I'd say you got a good deal.

[@zeppelinmage]

Sports cards are (relatively) worthless, particularly form the 90s. The market got completely saturated by companies capitalizing on the collectible trend. I collected a ton of baseball cards back then, had about 5000 cards, and a few complete sets. Ended up giving them away when I couldn't move them anymore. The whole box was worth maybe $50. I am actually shocked the cards Impulse got were as expensive as that! I would have expected just an inflationary increase, which would be on the order of like $50.

[@RxDoc2010]

This sense of humor was just how we grew up back then. There is a brief instant where you decide if the injury is serious and if not the laughter was painful.

[@StarNanny]

I watched it on double speed 😂 and 😂 on 1/4 speed 😂🤣 👍 definitely recommend! 😂 #where.did.it.go 😂🤣😂

[@faeryelise]

I once again find myself asking: "How are skizz still alive?"

[@sara.gem.n.L]

Impulse's 2x speed laugh is hilarious! 🤣🤣 With that aim, Skizz needs to be a guest on Dude Perfect!

[@nejikkaa]

as a band kid who starting watching you guys after finding out impulse marched dci, I really enjoyed the band stories. they perfectly captured the essence of band

[@radiotow3r]

Cannot get enough of Impulse's laugh at the beginning on .25x speed, he sounds like an evil witch

[@Lotster55]

But I want to be like you…

[@etoinedevries7583]

I wanna walk like you, talk like you, toooo

[@LittleOtter-tu7hx]

Who doesn’t !

[@Trauma284]

​@@etoinedevries7583 I'm glad I wasn't the only one

[@SalmonVRmonke]

@@Trauma284lol

[@turtsy4545]

Can't wait for them to rewatch this when they make the next installment and hear impulse's quadruple speed laugh and then recreate it in the next episode.

[@AggieBlues]

@30:39-> Fail Army, 35:00 -> you broke Skizz.

[@annoyingperson]

Forgot the podcast was today! Cheered me up quite a bit, thanks guys!

[@jsinjapan1689]

“Hey, I’m Skizzleman, and this is Jackass.” - Skizz’s high school career.

[@RTheViking]

Perfect timing. Just got home from work :)

[@wanna-plant]

First story, last day of school… on my last day of school! lol

[@NessaBi13]

These are me favorite types of podcasts from you guys ❤ i just love the funny stories "LIKE A GLOVE!" killed me 😂

[@devanshmishra3338]

In those C3 Corvette's the you basically sit on the rear axle, the hood is about 60% of the length

[@waknbakn420]

I'd love to see Joel and Lizzie on the podcast

[@Alas_Earwaxx]

Watching that clip in .25 speed was something else 😂😂

[@johnwhittaker311]

I think people are much more accepting and less likely to get angry when you own your mistakes. Like it’s incredibly difficult to stay upset at someone who says “yeah, I know. That’s my mistake. I’m sorry.” Everyone has made mistakes, we’ve all done things we’re not proud of, but if you respond in the right way, people are much more forgiving

[@ShanerCode]

The show must be America's Funniest Videos

[@MattressDoor]

when skizz announced this on stream I was in shock cus I had just relistened to the original were idiots podcast. Here we are over a year and a half later and still going strong!

[@watershed6092]

19:47 that was a hilarious callback😂

[@aidanbyrne8267]

This was absolute chaos and I love it 😁

[@johncool79]

This was a great episode. Thanks guys.

[@BrrrLocc]

My father was in the Mil..so we were in japan..living off base before permanent housing..play with fire works and other kids...burnt down a bamboo farm...bout 4 acres..😵‍💫🤯🤦‍♀️

[@PartialDemon]

"This one time at band camp....."

[@squishyxout]

I had a pop fall off the bench seat of my 1989 chevy and go under my brake pedal, i hit this treeling, ripped the thing out of the ground. The lady who owned the tree came out and fell to the ground wailing like i ran over her child. Her husband walked up and told me to go home as long as i was okay. I tried to make sure she was okay, he told me: "She made me plant the f**kn things 3 years ago and I'm the only one that trims 'em. You just made my job easier, I'll get her some roses and she'll get over it." But it scarred me for years. I felt like I ran over a puppy because of how she reacted.

[@StarlessMC]

I have actually taken a hit to the chin after fainting onto a hard floor. Took out a tooth, cut a gash in my chin and broke my jaw on the left side. Very fun story, but damaged me so much emotionally that I couldn't finish my schoolwork and I failed the semester.

[@Mantvydas.B]

Love the corvette part skizz!!!!

[@insomniaglet]

i need this today, money has been insanely stressful lately and some how hearing you all being idiots made me feel better xD so thank you also I love the differences between their stories, impulse I tried to get a soda from a vending machine and skizz we created a deadly smoke bomb in the desert and nearly died

[@xxsydneypopytxx]

Its okay, I'm in marching band and we emotionally abuse the band members. Even the band directors do! Its always the percussion as the butt of the joke, especially in concert band bc they're way better at marching band. But me and the other clarinets are often picked on as well

[@eledatowle8767]

Great stories! I think the take-away here is: Bored teenage boys = Disaster about to happen.

[@andrewpeck4823]

Your card story reminds me of my 50 state coin collection I used for gas. I regret it to this day, still working on recollecting them 10 years later

[@carcrazynik]

As someone who drives a muscle car, I can totally understand the long hood problem. 😂 I'm 6 feet tall and my seat has to be raised to drive my 2019 camaro SS and that corvette has a longer hood than my car. 😂

[@krupauk]

Did the same i reversed my dads car in to the garage door as he left the keys in the ignition i was practising at using the clutch thought was to get ready for driving did not cause much damage to the car just a bent garage door!

[@stefanjungenkruger512]

Listening to it on amazon music and watching it for skizzes laughs ❤❤

[@makingtechsense126]

When I was a kid there was a local business with a vending machine that was susceptible to kids grabbing cans. Once the word was out it wasn't long before the vending machine was removed.

[@the_picard]

The rattlesnake story was NUTS. But I can't judge, I might have done the same thing, haha

[@Corvinwhite]

This podcast is great I know you’re off to go off to work again good luck also I listen to things on double speed but not all the time it depends on when I’m walking like podcasts I don’t but sometimes Minecraft videos yes I do❤

[@MerryLucious]

Wow! The bar had already been set for your sons! This has been the true definition of "You don't think I know what you're doing? Been there, done that. It's not happening with you." ROTFLOL

[@AlissashunkSBG]

I absolutely love watching them two. I can't get enough, I love how funny they are 😂😂😂 I laughed so hard through out this video. 😅

[@HeatherKraafter]

I have a zillon stories like this from high school and a couple years after...thankfully I only produce podcasts, not speak in them!!! LOL!!!

[@JohnGisMe]

Are you ever going to invite some of your highschool and college friends onto the podcast?

[@EvesterBee]

I’m glad you got those cards back! I’ve started recollecting old Club Penguin merchandise that teen me sold, and although it’s painful to pay more than I did back then, it makes me so happy to have them again and to me that’s worth the financial cost!

[@Evanlyn24]

Man, growing up in the 80s/90s was wild 😳

[@beanbag8449]

You know, the wizards say that a million to one chances happen nine times out of ten

[@toxicjo]

Skizz and impulse are like twin flames for real 😂

[@IdoesDoodles]

I haven't laughed this hard in a while!!! Oh my gosh🤣 There was one time where my dad nearly stepped on a rattle snake. We're also in Arizona. He was in his late 20s I think, out in the desert shooting some soda cans...in flip flops. WHO WEARS FLIP FLOPS IN THE MIDDLE OF A DESERT?! MY DAD DOES!! So he goes to grab the can he shot and right as he was taking another step, he hear the rattle right under his foot. He jumps back right before he steps on it and thankfully it didn't try to strike. My dad was very dumb and still is lol

[@ruthvaliante6035]

Once at school I was playing with a ball just drop kicking it to see if I could get it to the ceiling, but one time I was doing that and I kicked it into a lightbulb and glass came crashing down everywhere. They put covers on the lights in the gym the next week.

[@georgeanderson7180]

I’ve got an old style Pepsi vending machine. The cans only get stuck like that if it jams. Otherwise you shouldn’t have been able to reach it.

[@HoldenGuy]

This is absolutely fantastic! 😂

[@truckerdave8465]

My dad had a really nice Z28 Camaro and I was asked to roll up the windows. They were power windows, the car was a stick, and it was in gear. This was before power windows were common and I was young so I didn’t drive yet. It jumped forward because I turned the key too far and started the car. It tapped the garage door, luckily very little other damage but I was sooooo upset! My mom laughed at me and said it was her fault, she wasn’t thinking and it wasn’t my fault.

[@qocket]

Now that was a cold open!

[@WilliamSheen-ee5qi]

I actually watch all KZbin videos and Podcasts on 2 times speed, and everything sounds weird when I don’t.

[@goldenambience7346]

Yay! Imp and Skizz!

[@EuphemineYuki]

I'm on a trip and downloaded a bunch of the podcast episodes on Spotify to listen to while traveling, and the one with Ren part 2 really, really got to me. Like, only the place you grew up will ever truly feel like home, but because of how my family is, home will never be a place I can truly be happy and be at peace. Welp, this is a dilemma for future me o7

[@Wodfamchocsod4]

I don't think that's true, at least not for everyone. The house I grew up in isn't my home; my home is with my young family. ❤

[@EuphemineYuki]

@@Wodfamchocsod4I am glad to hear that, and I am glad you have people who make you feel at home ❤

[@tj_bad_one]

Skizz is no monster, we all were terrible back then ❤

[@trymlyftingsmo2552]

For both you to. You must check out the new from drumeo where Mike Portnoy learns Pnuma by Tool as fast as posible. This video is helerius because Mike is a showman and it really proves how high level Danny’s plaing is.

[@donaldclark1019]

Double Speed was perfect... however 0.5 speed was pure gold. Two impaired fools laughing at each other. Someone needs to turn that into a horn on HC

[@radiotow3r]

here's a stupid story- i decided to jump a snowmobile over a creek. So this was about 2 years ago, i was like 16 or something, and I was with my buddies one winter and we were screwing off with our ski-doos in the wood trails. So my buddy had the genius idea to make a snowpile so we can jump over this small creek that was currently frozen over. Being the **** it, we ball type of guy that I am, I decided to go first. So i go, i swerve around and i'm way back so i can get some speed. I go, and, well The snow was powder And beneath the pile was a big ass rock Anyways, so I hit it, and I go forwards. All I remember was looking what i thought was up but i saw ice. I was fine, the skidoo fell behind me, just got a bit dirty and beat up. Was super funny though.

[@EnochBlasi]

A duck dog skizz come on hahaha😂😂

[@Lilrixcat]

The laugh on 2x speed was amazing!