Don’t be this guy… He sucks - 500 Days of Summer (Movie Reaction)

[@themoviebud1988]

For those of you who are wondering about my girlfriend, Maria, she's safe right now. Currently waiting for her opportunity to get to the border safely and cross over into Poland where she can then go to the Australian embassy and then fly to Australia. We both thank everyone so much for all their love and support in this tough time! ❤🙏 - Sam (Also, this and the next video were obviously filmed a couple weeks ago, before I shaved my head. Next one is To All The Boys 2)

[@0103harleyq]

Omg I'm so glad. I immediately wanted to see how y'all were doing. Love from Texas 💗👍🏽

[@COSun25]

Praying for Maria to finally getting over to see you.

[@jaylaalle5827]

currently praying for your girlfriend right now. sending you all of my love 💖

[@thandondlovu5392]

Thank you for sharing about Maria's well being I hope she continues to do well best wishes to both you Sam and Maria

[@CrisaMV]

May you and Maria be reunited soon! I'm very glad for you that she is out of harms way now. 💖

[@trinaq]

To this day, JGL says that he still has people coming up to him and sympathising with Tom. He acknowledged that Tom's actions are meant to be perceived as creepy and not romantic, since he's trying to force Summer to be HIS dream girl, and doesn't care about what SHE wants.

[@tokkibeanie]

My only issue as a woman was as soon as she started sleeping with Tom I changed my mind about her. I’m sorry but she knew that Tom was infatuated with her and told him she didn’t feel the same way. I don’t agree with her sleeping with him because she didn’t know what she wanted that’s an excuse imo. You can’t tell someone you don’t feel the same way and then turn around and have sex because you’re lonely. You’re essentially giving the guy or woman hope in that situation. I just don’t like some fellow women keeping the guy they don’t like accessible when they need to feel comforted. They both were toxic. I don’t agree with Tom and certainly don’t agree with Summer.

[@MarnieGolde7]

@@tokkibeanie I think there’s a difference if one partner makes it very clear they’re only interested in a sexual relationship. The onus is then on the other partner who consents to this relationship willingly to not develop further feelings. This is why friends-with-benefits often don’t work. But if someone agrees to delve into a purely sexual relationship where the other partner has been clear about not wanting anything serious then they can’t blame the other person for developing feelings.

[@coniwiiuwu5578]

@@tokkibeanie Definitely don’t agree with that. She made it clear that she only wanted a “fun” (friends with benefits) type of relationship and he agreed, while not telling her that he thought they would end up falling in love because that’s just how things are. He thought it was only destiny that she would changer her mind and love him and only him, because he was a hopeless romantic. I hate this “don’t give people hope” shit, so Summer just has to treat him like shit so he doesn’t feel hope?

[@xphiler06]

@@coniwiiuwu5578 I think the crux of the issue is that Tom was CLEARLY not on the same page. Especially since the "friends" aspect of it leaned more towards "dates"..it's not like we see them hanging out with other people; outside of sex, they were basically just dating, growing closer and more intimate emotionally, as well. Perhaps Summer didn't know how/where to draw the line between love and friendship, but Tom was CLEARLY not the guy to rely on keeping that line defined with her. Even after he pushed her to define their relationship because he considers them a couple, she goes back to him and continues the relationship when she clearly should have ended it. Tom definitely projected and is absolutely responsible for his own issues in expecting a relationship when he's not promised one. But Summer chose to start something up with the guy who just told her he's all about love and relationships. She chose him. If she truly wanted casual, she should have picked somebody else. With Tom, she should have at least clearly defined friend activities with/for him. But setting that aside, there was more than one time when it was clear that, despite his words, Tom was all in, and Summer absolutely shares responsibility for the situation by not ending it or course-correcting immediately. So, no, she didn't have to treat him like shit. But she certainly could/should have been more casual and shit. Or maybe just not started that shit in the first place? Like, maybe she could have just been friends with him and had a casual relationship with some guy who was clearly into casual relationships?

[@petalchild]

@@xphiler06 THANK YOU I'm tired of the lack of nuance and all these one sided takes on this film. The whole point of the film is both of them made mistakes and acted selfishly.

[@trinaq]

"Just because she likes the same bizarro crap you do doesn't mean she's your soul mate." Yes, Baby Chloe Grace Moretz, summing the entire message up brilliantly! 👏🏾🥰

[@cruisindownthestreetinmy6490]

addams family profile pic. nice :)

[@katwebbxo]

That was always my favorite line lol. Far too many people define their attraction to others by having common interests rather than compatible personalities/life goals.

[@Rosyln]

Exactly! It kind of ties into the whole manic pixie dream girl thing too, just projecting your fantasy expectation onto others and not seeing them for who they really are.

[@josefk7437]

She gave the audience a clue how immature Tom was.

[@hon3ychalla]

Wishing good health and safety for you and your girlfriend, Sam. you guys are always in our thoughts, stef as well! You guys rock for still taking time to upload during this and we love you!

[@themoviebud1988]

Thank so much! We appreciate the love 😊 - Sam

[@TheOnlyLynnabeth]

I find the scene very interesting where theyre lying in bed with JGL staring at summer, shes talking but theres narration over it, then the narration cuts out and she says 'ive never told anyone that before'. Its so clear that she just opened up to him something quite intimate but he. just. wasnt. listening. And i think that sums up the whole film for me.

[@videohistory722]

From the DVD commentary, I was told the point of the scene was to show Tom thinking her saying that meant something significant was changing between them, but it actually didn't.

[@johnr8095]

but by the same token she opened up to him something intimate but then keeps saying she does;t want a serious relationship.

[@mrs.wonder1481]

in my experience, physical violence is very unattractive to most women. it's really not as cool as some guys think it is to punch another dude. just some macho bullshit. it's way more attractive to be calm and know how to deescalate or just walk away.

[@Jemini4228]

Yeah. I know for my part it would just make him seem unstable and I'd worry that if we disagreed he could turn that behaviour on me.

[@moonkitty5274]

All I’d think was if they can do it to someone else, they could do it to me too; it can be terrifying to date someone who’s stronger than you sometimes

[@captainnikotiko7711]

Lmao what kinda world we coming to This walk away is pathetic and makes you look vulnerable and weak,soft

[@captainnikotiko7711]

@@moonkitty5274 one fact males are physically stronger than females...so idk how you gonna be equally strong to a man

[@AndiLang8146]

@@captainnikotiko7711 Way to out yourself.

[@06hAnBan26]

It's crazy how societal changes warps your perception of something. I saw this when it came out and empathized with JGL. Now?....it's just clear he's displaying these r/niceguy tendencies and feels like he's owed something, and fell in love with this idea of her, without really getting to know her. Strange

[@themoviebud1988]

Yeah, I think I would have felt the same so I’m glad I didn’t see it back then - Sam

[@p1ysaucedo]

That was kinda the point. You just caught up to it finally.

[@queerlibtardhippie9357]

I don't think that's societal thing... he was always meant to be a jerk LOL its literally how he's summarized in all the movie promos. He's delusional and that's the story.

[@JBWinter]

I had a roommate in college who felt so bad for JGL's character he would *cry*. None of us realized this as the huge red flag we should have

[@Eressiel951]

"She might be both asexual and aromantic." I knew I loved you guys but now I just don't have the words. My heart just might burst.

[@artoftheroses]

this is why i came to the comments

[@rainyfristoe7682]

Thanks so much for mentioning that! I'm on the Ace spectrum (demisexual/romantic and graysexual/romantic) and I love the ace representation or head canon theory.

[@MishaHusnainAli]

Man, I cannot understate the massive red flag that this grown-ass man's 12 year old sister has to come talk him out of smashing plates when he's upset and talk to him about how he's very incorrectly emotionally invested in a relationship. Big oof.

[@LudmilaRamirez7]

I really hated how her was idolized and then demonized by him and the audience, cuz lets be real, she doesnt owes nothing to anyone, sometimes its like that, some people are no ment to be or theres not a click between them (or one of them doesnt feel right about it) and others do, so... My point its nobodys perfect, we have different needs and here theres no villain and hero, just humans.

[@themoviebud1988]

Yeah, a very real story about a messy relationship. It’s well told, even if Tom is a bit much to take - Sam

[@myriamcroteau7006]

What I love about this movie is that your interpretation of it, or perception of it, can completely change depending on where you're at in your life. When I first watched it, I was a young adult completely dreaming my life instead of actually living it, so I empathised with Joseph's character a LOT at the time. Then I saw it again over a decade later and my perception of it had completely switched. It was like night and day. I could see how toxic his behaviour was. "It's not what happens to us that makes us. It's how we interpret it."

[@adrianax182]

The internalised misogyny I had as a young teen made me believe summer was the bad guy. But as an adult who has experienced this before myself, that def's ain't it dawg

[@esky203]

I like the non-linear timeline for this because it helped do a couple of important things for the audience (from my perspective) 1) create clear juxtaposition of "good times" and "bad times" to illuminate that the sparkly beginnings of a relationship may not mean much in terms of fate or destiny like Tom wishes and that Tom was the architect of his own unhappiness right from the get go...his heartbreak is his own making, not Summer's 2) JGL and the writer/direct have both said that the movie is meant to be an indictment of the type of guy who projects a relationship and ideal onto a woman and holds her responsible for his impossible happiness. But that point regularly gets lost on people (especially during the time this movie was released) because of cultural ideas many of us hold about love, relationships, fate, etc. So the fact that the core message can be often overlooked by people who want a typical love story combined with the fact that JGL and Zooey Deschanel have such good chemistry creates a need for the film to break tropes and timelines. If this was told linearly, I think people would be even more inclined to miss the point and see things from Tom's perspective because we'd fall in love with the idea of what he and Summer could be and what Tom wishes they were. So by not having lots of happy, charming days and dates in a row and instead cutting to an unhappy future, we're forced to see from outside the tropes and outside of Tom's delusions

[@7h3m3g4n]

I think jumping around in the timeline also adds to the portrayal of Tom's character. The harsh contrast from total infatuation to utter hatred really emphasizes how emotionally volatile and willfully delusional he was.

[@ActuallyAnanya]

It's a technique called the Verfremdungseffekt! Or distancing effect. Breaking audience immersion on purpose so they're forced to think about the character's actions consciously rather than subconsciously, and stopping us from automatically identifying with the protagonist because that's what we're trained to do with most stories. I fully think Marc Webb (the director) did it with this intention in mind considering how unromantic this film feels, compared to how fantastically he developed the romance in the Amazing Spiderman movies.

[@petalchild]

It also reflects the way memory works. When you think about your past with a person, it's rarely in a purely chronologically way.

[@sugglet36]

what you're saying is a really good point, but as a viewer i still got hella confused

[@rebeccawhite2155]

I really love how JGL has reiterated several times over the years that basically if you are rooting for his character in this and think everything is 100% Summer's fault then you missed the point of the movie.

[@jenthejen]

i cannot standdddd this movie given the way it was idolized by so many for the weirdest, wrongest reasons 😭my first bf said i was “his summer” and i swiftly dumped him. but y’all’s editing and commentary makes it enjoyable as usual

[@lbierman21]

"You need to have the spine to say--I deserve to be with someone who wants to be with me." Sam SAY IT LOUD!

[@themoviebud1988]

Will do! It’s worth it, absolutely- Sam

[@drewc981]

That's so good to hear about Maria, I hope she's able to get to you in Australia, Sam. Will still be thinking of you both until we get word that you're together. Take care

[@themoviebud1988]

Thank you! We’re hoping she can get to the border soon and once she’s in Poland, we can breath easier - Sam

[@videohistory722]

Very neat thing they did with color theory: Throughout the movie, Summer is the only one wearing the color blue. That's why everyone in the You Make My Dreams Come True is wearing it.

[@markrichardson1220]

This movie has affected me in a way that very few movies have. I'm ashamed to say I use to have a very similar worldview to JGL's character and it led me to a very toxic and misogynistic mindset. This movie made me reevaluate myself, my actions, and my way of seeing events that have happened in an entirely new light. Women don't owe you shit and it is never a good idea to try and force your own views on relationships in the hopes you can "change" them.

[@paulamcoldlady9468]

This worked to a woman too. The idea of you can change the “bad boy". Why don't looking for someone who is the way you like and not pursued to people who isn't this way for changing them. I glad now we have a films less problematic

[@KillDjay]

The fact that you guys are even still posting after all that Sam is going through is almost too much. It’s got me emotional nothing but love and we’ll wishes to you guys and especially to you Sam and your gf. Also to you, Steph you sexy sob lol. Especially reacting to my favorite live action movie for all of my teens and early 20’s.

[@themoviebud1988]

Thanks for the support! Even through the tough times, the show must go on. I have faith Maria will be safe 😊 - Sam

[@delightfulblueberries7405]

@@themoviebud1988 hey man also if you need time off please do take because it's a lot and I get it the show must go on but you guys mental state is far more important 💜

[@NoudlePipW]

"It gets *DRY* because its *WET* ?!??!" 🤣🤣🤣 I nearly cracked a rib Keeping Maria and you guys in my thoughts, hope she's with you soon and can breathe easy!

[@PiranhaSatan]

24:22 it really got me too,,, funny cause it's true

[@BonnyT]

I can attest to the dangers of doing it in a shower over bath 🛁 ... the guy I was with fainted at the end and took both of us out when he fell 😣🤕

[@NoudlePipW]

@@BonnyT Ooft. First time I tried it it was a rainforest shower with wall jets and we didn't try to actually go for it, so it was lovely! Second time... God it was awful. Some sort of slippy human Tetris.

[@epicmyth457]

My favorite line is she's better than the girl of my dreams. She's real.

[@dontdeletethexos]

I love this film so much, the unreliable narration, the soundtrack, and the fact that you can clearly see that Tom is in the wrong. He so desperately wants his perfect girl and a dream relationship, that he didn't stop to think about whether summer actually wanted to be that girl. I'm so glad that it ended like it did with him and summer, with summer saying that she just didn't want to have that future with him. It was the perfect ending.

[@RubyMadigan]

During the wrap party for this Matthew Grey Gubler severely injured his knee to the point they had to write him being shot in the knee into criminal minds so he could legitimately be on crutches

[@forgetmenotjimmy]

Musta been some party!

[@rachelcrawford3252]

Aw I’m so glad to hear about Maria! Sending so many positive thoughts your way ♥️ Ps my name is Rachel and I loved the intro 😂

[@themoviebud1988]

Thanks for the positivity! We really appreciate it 😊 glad you liked the intro joke 😁 - Sam

[@Blarglesnarfe]

When this movie came out, lots of people got NONE of the hints. They loved the main character and hated Summer, not getting it at all.

[@NayvieNoir]

The two of you give off real “men written by women” energy

[@Cfaerify]

I made the mistake of getting into a relationship with a guy who had JUST gone through literally this movie. He was very jealous and possessive, constantly referencing the previous girl who “broke his trust”. I kept trying to help him reframe the relationship but it wasn’t enough. Eventually that baggage broke our relationship because nothing I did could “convince” him I loved him. Go to therapy everyone, self sabotage is real.

[@videohistory722]

32:28 100%. In fact, I once read a book where a character was warned that if he was willing to throw a punch at someone else that easily, it wouldn't take much for him to turn it back around on you.

[@dancer004]

First I love this movie because it’s an actual look at how some people approach romance (I was probably one of them in my early 20s, and this movie helped snap me out). Sam, all the good vibes to you and Maria

[@agenttheater5]

I think the issue with Summer is that her parents divorce hurt her a lot more than she was willing to admit and that she found it easier to just start saying that love doesn't exist and to make relationships like her hair - the fact that she could cut it off and not feel anything. I mean for the record I thought she was being cool when she said that she didn't want to just be known as anyone's girlfriend and that women would be able to enjoy their independence and when she said "the lady doth not protest at all", but when she said 'might as well enjoy it while we can and save the serious stuff for later' I thought she was being a little immature since the whole point about the serious stuff is that we can't just save it for later or any time, it just starts happening when it starts happening and half the time there's no warning. And when she said 'come on, you guys believe in that' she seemed (well to me at least) that she was trying to convince herself of it by acting like it was a universal truth, and there was also the way she brought up 'like my parents'. But the main issue is - though I still say it was a little self-centred of her and Tom to both start saying that love doesn't exist just because of a break-up, especially when you look at a lot of the battles people have had to fight because of love (for the right to love, for the right to get married or even for the right to just go on a date and see how it goes) ie LGBTQ couples, interracial couples - is that Tom's question of 'but what happens when you fall in love' was a little out of the blue and not really what she was talking about (my own answer would've been 'when it happens, its happens and I'll see what happens then' and shows that the problem is that he wasn't listening to her, he only heard or saw what he wanted to hear and made it pretty clear he didn't really care about what she wanted. He expected her to fall in love with him or to view their relationship the same way she did when she was really honest from the start that she wasn't looking for anything serious. I think that after the bar scene she decided to try being a girlfriend for a while to see where the relationship would go so she started doing things like holding his hand. But she clearly wasn't happy and he refused to see it. And I don't get why when this movie was released everyone was villainising her like she'd been heartless in the break-up when she said "I think we should stop seeing each other" and said that she didn't think that heir relationship was healthy because of their fights - and she said that she was the 'Sid' in their relationship which basically meant that she thought she was attacking him. She maybe needed to rethink how she saw relationships but that was something she needed to do in her own time, not because Tom wanted her to change in the matter of months.

[@christinagrieser5664]

It is good to hear that your girlfriend is safe. I am praying that she gets out soon and for everyone in the Ukraine for an end to the Russian invasion. Much love to you and your girlfriend.

[@wordywolf3]

After watching this, I really want you guys to watch "He's Just Not That Into You." The commentary would be awesome.

[@evergreenforestwitch]

First of all, Sam thanks for the update on your gf and I wish both of you safety and peace. I'm so glad there's a plan to get her to safety - and you. Watching all that's happening is heartbreaking. I just love you guys so much. As a 42F asexual aromantic, your commentaries about women and the misogynistic way sooooo many men (and particularly rom com leads) behave literally gives me hope that future generations. Keep being awesome, I'm here for it.

[@pendejaesthetic2945]

tom limits himself and has no drive. i feel like this was a big reason summer couldn’t be with him - he was happy with no ambition at a job he hated, hoping summers love would cure his sadness. she likely needed and eventually wanted a partner, not a dependent. she was never sure of him because he was never sure of himself and never showed he could be more than what he settled to be.

[@Orion_TheyThem]

7:15 because it's 500 Days of Summer. Not 500 Days of Summer and Tom. It means she's been in his life or a massive presence in his life for 500 days. Also, I hope your girlfriend and her family in Ukraine are safe and okay!!! Sending much love your and her way!!!! Edit: 52:17 she's crying because The Graduate isn't a romantic movie. It's actually incredibly sad. The main guy falls in love with and has an affair with the younger girl's mother. And in the end he realizes he loves the younger girl (Elaine) and crashes her wedding to someone else and convinced her to run off with him. The ending is them realizing they both maybe made a mistake and their smiles fade.

[@videohistory722]

No it's not. The camera just kept rolling and they didn't know what they were supposed to do.

[@MarnieGolde7]

I really love this movie, but the reason I love it so much is how many perspective has changed through the years and how my views on Tom’s character has greatly matured.

[@AppleLovePeace]

This movie helped me realize I was in a not so great relationship. I was the Summer in his story and after telling him time and time again I didn't want anything serious he still wasn't listening. I left and we honestly did become friends over time. A very long time. But he was able to tell me he was sorry for all the crap he put me through. Glad to hear Maria and her family are safe. ♥

[@laurajaynenolan2149]

Ah! The end bit 😳 I met my other half when we both applied for the same job. They whittled it down from 40 candidates to us two and couldn’t decide so gave us a one month trial and we got the train together everyday to and from work and eventually we worked together so well they hired us both as a team 😊 we spent so much time working together and getting to know each other and just fell in love. That’s wild that was the ending of the movie 😂

[@themoviebud1988]

I always enjoy your comments, Laurajayne. What a nice story of your relationship origin 😊 - Sam

[@HerHollyness]

Ah that’s very sweet. I interpret the ending very differently, unfortunately, as to me it indicates that Tom has actually learnt very little and is about to get into the exact same cycle all over again. The woman’s name is even Autumn! Maybe I’m just being cynical! 😅

[@relaxationstation7634]

I can't believe I use to think this movie was romantic! I re-watched this movie a year or so ago and it's amazing how life experiences and just maturing in general really makes you take off the rose colored glasses (bc like Wanda said from BoJack Horseman: "If you look at life with rose colored glasses, you'll miss all the red flags")

[@KwanJan12]

Im surprised you guys weren’t jiving with the nonlinear narrative! It’s actually one of my favorite movies because of how this movie told its story. I thought the most special thing about this movie is how it plays like a bunch of memories: jumping around to good moments and juxtaposing it with the bad moments. It’s almost like you’re having a conversation with a person who is sharing so many details and experiences they’ve had with another person. And sometimes, those details aren’t shared in order either. The numbered title cards with the weather was a nice touch, indicating Tom’s mental space throughout his literal season of life from the moment he first laid eyes on Summer to the closure he finds when he finally releases his fantasy of her. There’s so much to unpack, but from a storytelling standpoint, the nonlinear narrative is a nice approach to telling Tom’s journey. And I think it’s clever that the girl he meets in the end is Autumn, not just because Autumn comes after Summer literally, it also metaphorically means Tom has reached a new season of life.

[@isabelleko86]

it’s actually hilarious that you guys made a joke about matthew gray gubler adding stipulations to his contracts that he won’t cut his hair for any roles, when he’s actually notorious for always cutting his hair for his indie movie roles. it’s why spencer reid has a different haircut every season; matthew is off filming different things during the criminal minds season breaks and comes back with the remnants of his recent haircut😭

[@henninggirl261]

They could've titled this move "If She Wanted To, She Would."

[@kemahz1893]

I just wanted to say that I am so glad your girlfriend is ok, You and your girlfriend deserve the world you are both kind people please take care and I wish you all good health and good fortune

[@malvika5011]

I remember watching this movie when I was 16 and empathising with Tom and even though I am a girl I assumed Summer was this b***** person who just didn't know what she wanted and led him on and that's why I never really liked the movie. This was my 1st time watching it after like 7 years and honestly this was therapy for me because hearing your conversation and reading all the comments made me realize I was too emotionally immature just like Tom to actually realize the point of the movie and this mindset of placing a blame on someone and making them the bad guy while someone's a protagonist who's just going through life and bad things are happening to him it's not really how life works and it's just full of messy people and really honestly what works out is communication. so yeah I had a good time thanks for the reaction :)

[@videohistory722]

7:18 the 500 days refer to how long she stays in his head rent free, not how long the relationship is.

[@toxicginger9936]

5:13 I feel like 'Other Mother's Day' is a brainstorm that actually happened in a board room somewhere. *smh* 5:38 "Kids with same-sex parents don't have to buy cards on two days a year".... Well... We still make our son do cards on two days a year. LOL. As the mom that gave birth, I get 'Mother's Day' (Momma's Day) and my wife gets celebrated on 'Father's Day' (Mommy's day). Our five year old loves this!

[@MissCaraMint]

That’s so weird. It’s totally normal where I’m from to go to IKEA with friends. It’s such an interesting cultural difference.

[@themoviebud1988]

With friends, sure. Not with a fuck buddy tho. That’s completely mixed messages. We even said it was normal to go with a friend. But they’re not friends - Sam

[@requiem-girl]

I have been the Summer to so many guys. It never went very far - not ever beyond a first date, never anything like 500 days - but it's still such a fucked up situation to be in. There's someone who doesn't know you at all and they suddenly decide that you're their perfect girlfriend and they're in love with you and you have to go out with them. One guy wanted to dye his hair for me after knowing me for just 2 hours and that's not even the creepiest thing one of them has ever done in that situation. I legitimately hate it so much because it makes approaching new people such a risk. Like, when I join a new group or go to a workshop or enter any kind of new space I just wanna be friendly, be my extroverted self and make new friends and I have to hold back every time out of fear that some guy gets the wrong idea. It sucks.

[@unbakedalaska1301]

SAME, YES. and on the flip side, as in the rare occasions i liked them back, I find out they didn’t actually like ME, they liked some idea of me they built up in their head, and the second I didn’t perform to that idealized version they’re so quick to dip out. I learned to see quickly formed, extremely high levels of interest coming from the other person as a red flag. Regardless, not being seen as a whole person is crushing

[@mitchellhp]

I remember when this movie was so popular but I couldn’t get behind it because JGL’s character made me SO angry 😅

[@eeeeeeeee9895]

Glad to hear that Maria is doing much better and wayy safer now, my best wishes go out to you guys Feel free to take as much time as you need to recover, we're not going anywhere💙

[@videohistory722]

I've actually read the original screenplay for this movie, and in the karaoke scene, Tom goes on about how if you're with the right person, your feelings wouldn't change the next day. You'd just know. And at the end, on the bench, Summer tells him he was right. Every day she spends with her husband, her feelings never changed.

[@xphiler06]

If you follow JGL on social media it comes up every so often where he clarifies that he is not the hero of the story. I suspect he is also frustrated by the popular misinterpretation of the movie/his character...despite the film calling Tom on his BS quite a lot. I think people sometimes have a hard time with (recognizing) unreliable narrators. I think a lot of people also have a hard time being critical of their own behavior being reflected back at them and identify with the characters instead. The brilliance and the tragedy of casting a likeable actor in the lead role is also that so many fans want to support JGL and his character, which complicates the issue further. As up-front as Summer is about not wanting a relationship, I do think she is equally as responsible as Tom is about the mess that follows. Tom is consistently obvious about the fact that he doesn't get and has no interest in the casual thing and I'm not certain she didn't use his fondness for her as a safety net to not-date date. She may have just been working things out for herself, but the dating behavior mixed with the casual-status assertions feel, at best, like he was a safety net. But her seeing him going to & at the wedding, knowing who he is, I think she was more wilfully in the wrong; she didn't just dance with him, she also sat and chatted with him, stayed with him throughout the reception, and invited him to a party without him knowing he'd meet, if not her fiance, her boyfriend--and then didn't even tell him when she greeted him at the door while wearing a wedding ring. If there hadn't been a long, messy period of them not being able to define their relationship and her knowing how he felt about her, maybe not such a bad move, but in their case, it doesn't just feel like obliviousness or her just doing her own thing. I don't consider Summer the villain, but she is at least as guilty of willful ignorance and selfish decision-making as Tom is, in my opinion. I never understood the people who cried/complained about the fact that they don't end up together (another thing that JGL has addressed more than once--that they shouldn't be together). On another note, I'm happy to see positive news about Maria. I'll keep hoping for her continued safety, and for everyone else. ♡

[@averyruth]

why does watching ur channel teach me more life lessons than 19 years on this earth

[@ActuallyAnanya]

So this is just my personal theory, but I think the reason this story was told in a non-linear way was to keep reminding the audience that they weren't going to work out, to not get invested in seeing their relationship succeed. If it was told in a linear way, we'd be following Tom's perspective much more closely and sympathise with him more than we're meant to, because just by the nature of storytelling, we're drawn to want to root for a main character who has a journey with obstacles to overcome. By making it non-linear, that narrative is broken up, and we're forced to view Summer as an actual person rather than a trophy. It stops her from being a manic pixie dream girl (something Zoey Deschanel has played multiple times) because it shows her flaws upfront. Also by highlighting Tom's toxicity after their breakup and intercutting that with the good times of their relationship, it makes you question how genuine his love for Summer really was in those good times. To get all nerdy on you guys, this technique is an example something called the Verfremdungseffekt (which roughly means "distancing effect") which was coined by Bertolt Brecht, an early 20th century German playwright. He explained it as tools used to portray a story in such a way that the audience would have to consider the character's actions in a conscious way rather than in the subconscious, unlike how most stories are meant to be consumed. It's explicitly meant to stop you from just automatically identifying with a character just because they're the protagonist. You're not supposed to identify with Tom, you're supposed to judge him. I feel safe in saying these choices were deliberate because of how thoroughly un-romantic this film feels. Like you said, Tom and Autumn had more chemistry in their 5 minutes onscreen together than he and Summer did in the whole movie. It's not because the actors can't act. It's certainly not because Marc Webb can't direct romances; he directed both Amazing Spiderman movies, and even with how divisive those are, one thing everyone agrees on is how great the romance is there. Idk if you've seen those movies, but the dude knows how to make you feel invested in a romance. And with Tom and Summer I feel like he made the deliberate choice not to. Anyways, I think you guys would have gotten the message of the movie whether it was told in a linear or non-linear way, but you have to remember that even with all that I said above, this movie still has a legion of people (mostly dudes, but also some women) who hate Summer and identify with Tom. Even with how much the movie tells you that his mindset was wrong and unhealthy, people call her a bitch all the time. JGL has to pushback against that narrative to this day, and he does so every time because he's a king. PS love all the Schmoseby references. As someone who loves both this film and HIMYM a lot (they're both comfort watches for me) idk how I never put together how similar Tom and Ted are, both being pretentious nice guy architects obsessed with "the one". Like is there something I didn't know about architects? lol anyways sorry for the essay!

[@JayAnnAych]

The hilarity of calling Buildings in America 'old'!!! *laughs in european* A great commentary as always! Thank you for the much needed distraction and fun! Keep up the good work! :)

[@louvrelakes]

the tom and ted connection is so real woah idk how i never noticed

[@aghasearmyshawolblinkonce8039]

I really hope you're doing good sam and wishing that your girlfriend finds safety 🙏🏾💜

[@themoviebud1988]

Thanks so much! She’s safe for now, hopefully she can get out soon though 🙏 - Sam

[@chaimalekkam4233]

This was the most depressing movie I've ever seen, but i love Joseph Gordon Levitt and Zoey Deschanel so i keep rewatching

[@CampCounselorKeivn]

This is mostly my opinion but I feel like men and women treat friends w benefits relationships differently because there's such drastic difference between the way men and women treat regular friendships. I'm not saying this is for everyone, but in my experience women treat their friends with a higher level of intimacy, whereas most men specifically receive their intimacy through romantic relationships. I think a lot of women carry that kind of intimacy into casual relationships because to them it is casual and normal but what's expected from the men is just a "bro" type friendship, but with a girl they have sex with.

[@marianne5055]

I think they're both somewhat in the wrong. Tom definitely moreso because Summer clearly stated several times how she doesnt believe in love, doesnt want anything serious and he should have respected that and not pursued a relationship if it wasnt what he wanted. He's too stuck on this idea of the "perfect woman" to really see Summer as an actual person. And the end proves that he hasnt really learned his lessons. And just like the seasons, his relationships will be cyclical. But I also think Summer is also to blame a bit. I do think genuinely liked Tom and was trying her hardest to feel something for him but she should have been honest and broke things up with him earlier (especially after the whole "we're a couple damn it" speech). You know he clearly is more into you then you are into him and yet you continue with the relationship. Again, Im sure she was really trying to make herself find that spark for Tom and so maybe it was a bit unintentional on her part - but she was leading him on a bit.

[@Vincisomething]

I was """"""friendzoned""""""" (using that term very loosely) by a guy, but I enjoy our friendship. Except his was more along the lines of, "you deserve someone who isn't me" (there are personal things going on) rather than, "yeah I don't really like you like that." At least he was honest and upfront about it. Sure I cried for maybe a few minutes but I got over being a little sad about it because he didn't do anything wrong and he wasn't just throwing out the "we can still be friends" to save my feelings. I think we like each other enough to respect each others' decisions and boundaries. And then he asked if I was mad at him 😭. I was thinking sir, my guy, buddy... you were one of the most respectful and honest guys I met. One time he apologized for falling asleep when it was pretty late at night lol. Like I'm going to be like it's past 11 PM after you had a long day at work and you dare to fall asleep because you're "exhausted"?? The disrespect smh

[@thandondlovu5392]

Hi Sam I hope you and your girlfriend Maria are doing well you both are in my thoughts and prayers 💕💕💕 Sending lots of love.

[@themoviebud1988]

Thanks so much! For now, we’re good. Just waiting for the right time for her to travel to the Polish border - Sam

[@AndrewMcClenning]

The soundtrack was simply stunning. The Smiths, hello, and Regina Spektor.

[@QueenoftheNorth]

I love your reaction to this! It's great to see men reacting to this who acknowledge the way Tom was. When I watched this (back in the day) I used to be of the view that there was miscommunication going on and Summer wasn't being mean, until she told him that she wanted to be 'just friends' after they had a fight. After many rewatches I realised that Tom is the one projecting his view of a 'pixie manic dream girl' and she doesn't fit that mould. I love how clever this film is and it honestly is such a masterpiece.

[@morsidlamini1224]

I'm super glad Maria is safe and I'll pray for her continued safety ❤oh yes ! Idk if you guys have watched a serious thriller yet but please watch Midsommar your takes on it would be awesome 😌

[@LudmilaRamirez7]

Maybe this its not the place but i hope you guys and your loved ones are safe. 😞 We love you

[@themoviebud1988]

Your support is always welcome Ludmila, thank you 😊🙏 - Sam

[@sanneannelies843]

I saw this movie because of my brother. He loves this movie and sunshine of the spotless mind and serendipty (also saw these because of him) He really is a sucker for certain romance stories, he told me🥰

[@BambiLena666]

JGL really had to deal with overexplaining his movies, Don Jon always comes to mind when talking about 500 days of summer. Definitely would be interesting to see your guys thoughts on it.

[@rachelolivia3541]

Ringo is actually my favorite Beatle and I actually DO love Octopus’ Garden so I want to hear no Ringo slander. But I do kinda feel like most people believe that people like Ringo just to like the least liked one. Also, sending my love, thoughts, and prayers to you, Sam, and especially Maria. I have faith and am optimistic for the outcome of the situation and am praying she arrives in Australia safely and quickly. if she sends you any more resources please share ❤️ sending love and blessings to you as well Stef

[@Branmuffin7]

I remember thinking when this movie first came out that summer was the antagonist and now, as a (hopefully) more mature 34 year old , I definitely see she was NOT.

[@globetrekker86]

*Ted Schmosby* is the perfect moniker for Tom 😂 Summer, too, gives off Robin Scherbatsky vibes

[@komal146]

Edit: shit i didn't know your gf was Ukrainian. Hope she reaches Poland safely man. The first time I watched this, i sympathized with tom despite being a girl. Second time at 20, they both felt wrong. An year later, both had flaws but Tom and his fanboys but more toxic. Also loved the spin on Zoey's celeb persona and manic pixie roles she plays.

[@cutienerdgirl]

I know you're going through stressful times, right now, because your loved one's safety was in jeopardy. Please take all the time you need to heal. 💛💙 When you come back, can you guys watch '27 Dresses'?? It's one of my favorite Romcoms and Katherine Heigl movies of all time. 🥺🙏🏾💓

[@themoviebud1988]

Thanks for your support! We’re doing our best. She’s staying safe until she can travel to the border and I’m trying not to think too hard about the things I can’t change. Yeah, 27 dresses is definitely on the list, but we do have some other movies lined up before that so I can’t say exact timing on it 😊 - Sam

[@promisemochi]

things were wild around this time period (HIMYM, this film, that awful book about going after women etc) and not saying they aren't still problematic but wow looking back at this time period is a bit jarring. this movie came out right around my freshman year of college. i had a really awesome guy friend. he was so cool and fun to hang out and a huge comfort to me being far from home. i was always clear and told him how much our friendship meant to me. well, i met a guy i really liked and we got together, romantically. i told the guy i thought was my friend, all excited to share my swoon-worthy news. he prompty told me to never speak to him again, and informed me that he'd be blocking my phone number and if i saw him on campus, to not even look at him because - and i quote - "it's too painful knowing you're with someone else." this movie really brought up memories of that moment. and i love your commentary (i always do) about him making her responsible for his happiness. i really enjoyed this film and the message, and your commentary. also, i just want to say i'm keeping you all and your loved ones in my thoughts

[@jennapeaches4339]

I‘m glad Maria is safe right now. I hope she’s able to cross over the border into Poland soon. Much strength and love to her and to you guys. And regarding the movie. I know that I watched it once before but I just realized that I remember exactly nothing from it (except the actors starring in it and that it was kinda confusing). I haven’t watched your commentary yet. Maybe the movie is going to leave a bigger impact on me today. Let’s see.

[@themoviebud1988]

Thanks so much for your support, Jenna 😊 I hope you enjoy the video. It was an interest movie - Sam

[@rachelthomas3115]

so happy you guys used rachel in the intro

[@mischr13]

58:11 this building is one of the most famous pieces of architecture in downtown LA, it's been in quite a few movies like the original Bladerunner. DTLA has stunning architecture, definitely one of my fav things about the city. The 6th street viaduct will always be iconic ofc and the roaring 20s art deco of downtown is breathtaking

[@eatingoutmore]

it always gets to me when they’re in bed and she says “I’ve never told that to anything” and he’s not even listening to her

[@angelajaime5155]

"She might be both aromantic and asexual." mmmmm yes and no, I think there's an important difference between "I don't experience romantic love" and "love doesn't exist", I think aromantic people are well aware that love exist, they just don't experience the romantic kind, I feel like the people who usually say "love doesn't exist" have a very pessimistic perception of the world. Love your reactions

[@triangulugrupo4231]

People didnt realized that this movie is about 2 people in the same relationship that viewed the whole thing as opposites. People always need to blame demonized someone on movies. I believe this is very neutral in this sense. Also i like how they shift in the end, Summer is now a romantic and Tom is more logic and cold.

[@agenttheater5]

3:29 I think you guys would be interested in the web comic 'Lore Olympus' - similar situation re one of Zeus and Hera's younger children Hebe (goddess of youth, the kind who generally dressed in a mini version of whatever her mum is wearing, one of the calmer of their children we've met so far as opposed to Eris goddess of Strife and Ares god of war who both love messing with people for the heck of it), who at the tender age of 8 knows how to mix at least two different kinds of drinks, can guess when her mum will need a G and T for breakfast, has been trained by her mum to define lurking as "a perverts sport" and has heard enough of her parens arguments to make a pretty good guess about whether or not the issue they're arguing about is really the issue or if it's something else - "I think you and Papa are just mad at each other and Hades doesn't have anything to do about it." Raising the questions (apart from 'what are you doing letting your kid mix alcoholic drinks' and 'what are you doing letting your kid see you drink in the morning') of 'is it necessary to argue like that when your kid is in earshot?' and 'why are you letting your kids witness your drama like that?' All of which makes it almost relieving to see her act like a typical 8 year old ie overly excited to see relatives, sulking on the couch because her brother was sent away, loudly and melodramatically declaring "I'm destined for a life of loneliness!" I don't know if she knows about how much her dad cheats on her mum. But it gets me thinking 'if a young child knows that one of their parents is constantly cheating on the other, would it make it more reassuring or more confusing for them if they knew that no matter how often that parent cheats they'll never actually leave their spouse?'

[@rachellani]

Ukraine holds a special place in my heart since seeing and reading Everything's Illuminated. My heart is heavy reading the news about the violence going on in Ukraine. It's so terrifying and heart wrenching. Sending all the love and support I can to Sam and Maria and Ukraine. Thank you for always making videos that make my day (and week) better.

[@videohistory722]

Matthew is also in Hulus Dollface, and he's just as charming in there as well!

[@sydneybrown7636]

I really wasn’t a fan of this movie when I saw it. But your all’s commentary made me appreciate it more

[@jeremyleforce7926]

Yes, he should understand that she doesn't want someone serious, but you don't treat someone like they are your significant other when you "Just want something casual". Both of them are in the wrong.

[@absterking]

Yooo I'm so excited this is one of my all time favourite movies!! 🤩

[@channelsoup]

Great reaction guys! Also wishing Maria safety and comfort in this hard time, hopefully you’ll be able to see her soon Sam. x

[@themoviebud1988]

Thanks so much! She’s doing ok, so far 🙏 - Sam

[@jtd1349]

I’m gonna sit back and enjoy this video but my heart is with you and your girlfriend Sam. Please keep us posted, we are all worried for her and you. ✨ I’m glad she’s safe as of now.

[@sweet_misfortune]

January 8th birthday buds! Just popping into the vid now. Love your guys commentary-it's always hilarious and so truthful so thank you! Hope everyone is safe and well with all the crisises still ongoing in the world 💞

[@Rosyln]

Not to say the person I’m talking about is exactly like JGL character in this movie but there were definitely similarities. The guy I was talking to was very insecure in himself and definitely projected his own expectations and imagination onto others. If things didnt go his way or how he imagined them or I didn’t conform to that expectation he would lash out at me. I wasn’t ready to say I love you? Im a walking robot. Mind you we had only been hanging out for less than a month at this point. We’d hung out like four times in total at this point and instead of respecting boundaries he lashed out and ruined any chance of things getting to where he wanted them to. He would text me after dates telling me how much Id made him feel insecure in himself because I had work to do and wouldn’t stay for as long as he wanted me to, other things like that. He’d just blame me for not acting how he’d imagined and for having boundaries his dream girl didn’t have. It made me feel insecure and like something was wrong with me at times. I think it’s a common thing amongst people who are very insecure in themselves, regardless of gender, they just imagine scenarios and project their fantasies onto others and if you don’t conform to that fantasy you are the problem. It’s a tough thing to deal with and I do feel bad for the guy I’m talking about and JGL character in this and all the sad boi tropes who experience that but at the end of the day it’s just broadcasting your own insecurities and being selfish and overcoming that is definitely a struggle. Not saying these people are entitled to what they are doing and hurting those around them in the process, just that I have empathy for the situation. I liked that you guys empathized with his character but also recognized all of the selfish and insecure qualities. Great reaction!

[@toriecarter2711]

Movie: Tom meets Summer on Jan 8 Sam: They met on my birthday Me: *chuckles* Sometime later~ Movie: May 23rd was a Wednesday Me: *snorts & chokes on my drink* (May 23 is my birthday) [Maria and everyone else affected are in my hopes.]

[@AliceTheChaosWitch]

"it gets dry because its wet!?" almost ended me xD This movie sukcks but i loved this video so much. Sending love and support to you Sam and to Maria, I hope you're holding up ok. Thank you guys for still giving us content!

[@nathalykim1263]

this movie is impeccable, although it breaks my heart I was obsessed with it when I was like 14 and I still listen to the soundtrack, and have a crush both on Joseph Gordon Levitt and Zoey Deschanel

[@AmandaaRose]

I will admit when I was younger and watched this movie I ended up hating it bc I genuinely at the time didn’t understand it nor was I really paying attention. But now,, I get it.

[@TheGrossDemon]

I really enjoyed this movie when I was younger. Now that I'm older and have engaged in society it makes me sad and scared. As some one who just lives life and has people accuse me of being in control of their feelings or trying to hurt them for not being interested in them, this movie is just sad

[@bri-uz6ys]

You guys should react to Dreamgirls and Girls Trip.

[@videohistory722]

This movie takes the manic pixie dream girl and turns it on its head.

[@ariadnamargaritadelgadober6180]

When is casual I search for efficiency because I have things to do, I'm not wasting time in someone I'm not attached to

[@Tateygb]

Whilst I enjoyed the analysis, I think they overly miss the point of the film, Summer represents a manic pixie dream girl but she isn't one she subverts expectations and this film is mostly satire.