Don't hold your pizza like that

[@DarthTach]

Actually there is a Law against holding a pizza box like that. The Law of Gravity. And the Court does not show any mercy.

[@ellielhessan]

And don't forget that, yes, you will be condemned for eternity for holding pizza box that way..😊

[@randyerickson6368]

🎉🎉🎉m​nmz😅s@@ellielhessan 😊9😅xx😅

[@someguy2135]

@@ellielhessan You will be condemned by anyone trying to eat that pizza!

[@spastikps4916]

Perfect response.

[@FlatOnHisFace]

Plaintiff: "Your honor, the defendant held the pizza box sideways." Gravity: "Counselor?" Attorney: "We request a continuance." G: "Request denied. Anything else?" A: "Not at this time, your honor." G: "This court finds in favor of the plaintiff. I sentence you to messy pizza."

[@TheKyleFyles]

Julie, please, give us another 5 seconds of silly Julie openng the box and discovering why you dont hold pizza like that.

[@struanpeat5116]

this

[@FlatOnHisFace]

Man, I was hoping she'd open it to a delicious, fully intact pizza (through the magic of editing) to troll the Internet. Left Julie would be stunned.

[@trynda1701]

You have to do the follow up, with two variations. 1. As @The Kyle Fyles says, right Julie discovers her error. And 2. In another timeline, as @Flat-On-His-Face suggests, the pizza is perfect, and left Julie is left stunned! 😅😅😅😅

[@timopper5488]

@@trynda1701 And with just one comment, the Nolkeverse becomes THE NOLKEMULTIVERSE!!

[@LibertarianJRT]

​@@trynda1701quantum positioning of pizza. Until the box is opened the pizza is both ruined and perfect.

[@satubock]

I worked at a pizza shop and honest to god a new delivery driver picked it up like this. Had to remake it.

[@positivelynegative9149]

You had to remake the pizza shop?! 😮

[@someguy2135]

Did you also have to make sure he didn't carry it upside down?

[@satubock]

@@positivelynegative9149 No the pizza lol

[@satubock]

@@someguy2135 no but he did not last very long lol

[@someguy2135]

@@satubock Not surprised.

[@BlakeMcCringleberry]

Note to self: Don't argue with the person carrying a pizza like a maniac.

[@aquamarine99911]

She's a maniac, but you have to admit she's an articulate maniac.

[@leecarson6859]

I own a pizza place and I can tell you that it hurts my heart to see people do that. We put work and love into that pizza and you ruined it before you even left the store

[@VosperCDN]

I think I'd be tempted to put those customers on a blacklist.

[@mayamartin7359]

Real people actually hold them upright???

[@PattyManatty]

@@mayamartin7359 yeah I have never seen this in real life lol.. Nobody ever tells you how to hold a pizza box. You just instinctively know

[@bigdawgfm]

I did this once in college, at a local pizza place where the toppings were put on very loosely for speed of baking. My excuse was I was drunk, but yes the cashier immediately was like, "Why are you holding it like that?!"

[@thesaltybeard1793]

​@@PattyManattyunless you fundamentally dont understand pizza and how gravity works. Which would also mean youve almost certainly never had pizza. Or at least good pizza...if i turn my pizza like that and its intact after im assuming its not made of pizza.

[@GregoryPotter-y1w]

It would’ve been funny if the skit ended with Julie holding the box properly, but upside down… splat😂

[@moonlight3vampire]

Yes, you are condemned to an eternity in Hell for for holding a pizza box like that. For defying the laws of gravity.

[@donjones4719]

In Brooklyn you would not be arrested by the Pizza Authority. No, we are kind, you would simply be taken into protective custody and put into a psych ward. Hmm... watching Julie sometimes seems like peering into a psych ward...

[@rabbijoe316]

I spent the first decade of my life in Brooklyn. I can confirm that the MPA (Metro Pizza Authority) used to be far more strict.

[@masterofdesaster8]

Thanks be for NYC Firearm regulations, lest any who dares to carry a pizza like that would be escorted to the nearest alley dumpster and shot by the enforcers of the MPA.

[@sergeikorolevGZ]

LOL that face at the end (Young Frankenstein vibes) .... "Didn't think so" lol thx, i needed the laugh

[@KristinaLJohnson]

I don’t know what I love more. The matrix vacuum of space in which this all takes place. Or the moment of realisation that at a certain point you have to let people just be their insane selves.

[@Thedivinecounsel]

Well I read into this way too deep and applied it to much bigger life concepts. Because of it being such a major life lesson in this, I must say: Preach Pastor Julie! Preach! 👏👏👏 😂

[@SeraphsWitness]

Final response should have been yes. Anyone holding pizza like this is 100% an alien invader.

[@lathrael7152]

Answer to that question: YES. Especially on being eternally condemded.

[@ParlonsAstronomie]

This sums very well how people thinks that opinions are fact and can't be told otherwise.

Very Monty Python vibe there 😂

[@jessem_i31]

Absolutely brilliant!😂

[@SanityVideo]

As a former pizza driver, you'd be surprised at the angles you can hold pizza boxes before they get messed up

[@BaneSIlvermoon]

Depends on how fresh it is and the topping ratio. I once had to slam on the brakes, three pizza boxes slid off the passenger seat hard into the floor on their side. Opened the boxes and they were all pretty much fine. Just had to shift one box so it was centered again. Other times, pizza was just shoved into the bag and the toppings slid off a third of it

[@baldusi]

If you say there's no law and not higher authority about the pizza, Julie has never ever heard from Italy.

[@davidnelson4960]

Thank you. Love this humor. It's so mon dieu.

[@lineakes575]

Oh Julie this is brilliant!

[@michaelramsey82]

Anyone who tilts a pizza more than 45 degrees is a psychopath.

[@Fawkes42]

That's insane, the cheese will slide and depending on the box the pizza might even fall out

[@Stirdix]

"Relax, I glued it to the bottom of the box"

[@bsktballman08]

I agree with Julie.

[@LordRhuell]

YES!!! The law of “I WANT MY CHEESE *ON* MY PIZZA!!!! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!”

[@bacul165]

Cavalier is such a great word

[@Torched8392]

If a pizza delivery driver was holding your pizza like that when you opened the door shit would hit the fan.

[@mackea1]

You can carry your pizza box however you choose to. Parallel to the ground or vertical Is your choice But if you carry like that, aka vertical, your pizza will slide to one side and get squished. But if that's how you like to eat it that is your option. Maybe it tastes better that way. Also I feel like this was not actually about a pizza box but more of analogy for letting people live their own lives. Have a good day 🙂

[@SylviusTheMad]

This has such Waiting for Godot vibes.

[@richlight]

that's how my brother carried pizzas of the people who didn't tip.

[@bazilwreckerloughead]

All humans hold the pizza box parallel to the floor! SILLY HUMANS!

[@bovax6259]

Have left Julie cooly reply, "Have fun with your Calzone."

[@jeromelancashire3278]

You see gravity's against you in this situation, You hold like that the pizza will just fall to the bottom of the box or will fall to the floor depending on how you hold it.

[@harriepie]

Because the mess that will come out of that box is significantly harder and messier to eat than if it was held flat

[@martinlinger544]

You Canadians are crazy! 😂 I bet she even has pineapple topping!

[@kenttheboomer721]

Hold it however you like, as long as you can accept the consequences.

[@Toffnm]

Yesterday I saw a lady stuffing her fresh pizza box into a plastic bag and then walk off with the bag swinging back and forth by the handle. I immediately thought of this video.

[@randywind8134]

Yea, you can also fold it so it fits better in a bag

[@zeropolicy7456]

Just ask her to open the box. If it isn't frozen, she'll figure it out real quick, and fall in line.

[@sandrosliske]

I worked at pizza place for 5 years and I would take pride when the pizzas would come out perfect. The exact amount of ingredients, evenly distributed and cooked to perfection hot and ready for the customer. Then they would fucking drop them on the way out and look at you and expect another one for free. Even had one complain that the fresh out of the oven pizza was too HOT! Sorry I forgot what I was trying to say. So yeah, this type of thing is annoying.

[@zorod5475]

Is the pizza frozen or is all the toppings now stuck to the top of the box?

[@WhiskerDooz]

condemn her. May justice be served, hot & ready.

[@BooksForever]

How do you know it’s wrong? Open the box! Just open the box! - Brad Pitt, essentially

[@kachnickau]

Pure gold :D

[@factChecker01]

"I am not an animal!" Yes, you are.

[@benedixtify]

The law is the Law of Gravity

[@anyjen]

I once had a pizza delivered to me that had clearly been held like that. All the cheese and toppings had made a piled mess to one side of the box, leaving the rest of the pie naked and sad.

[@Xoulrath_]

The only times that it would be acceptable to hold a pizza box like that is if it's a frozen pizza, or if the box is empty.

[@6729solarwolf]

Julie breaks the internet

[@cmtetaboaco]

You can hold a pizza box like that, after that it will no longer a pizza!

[@Szystedt]

Not me expecting Satan to show up taking her 💀

[@musclethestrong1522]

I hold pizza like this and it’s fine.

[@-ColdlFire-]

It's called gravity.

[@SMTRodent]

When you offered to share lunch but you don't actually want to share lunch.

[@lucone2767]

God bless you Magic Mike Mirror;

[@Saintly2]

Common sense should not be argued. 😊

[@OurHourglass]

Well... it'll feel like that when you open the box, or maybe before if sauce drips down your leg...

[@AnotherCoward]

Some people just like to eat their pizza toppings off of the box

[@marledanimefan7186]

yes yes you are, all those things will happen to you if you hold the pizza like that

[@dannybenhur6123]

ANUBIS... ANU BUSINESS

[@ainsleydesouza]

Some people happen to like their crust and toppings separate. Not me, I'm not an animal, but some people...

[@jiinkwan]

I sincerely hope no pizza was HARMED during filming!

[@xger21]

I worked at a pizza place in yesteryear. I was shocked when someone was walking out of the place with their pizza, stopped, looked at me, and said "I probably shouldn't hold it like this" and turned it like in the video. I, very slowly, said "no, I don't that that'll work out". To this day, I do not know if that person was stoned, dumb, or trolling....

[@GabrielaCenturionNeumann]

Just open your pizza box and see why that's not a good way to hold it, darling

[@nekolalia3389]

Laws are written in cheese.

[@MrDuane-lr8dm]

You know what the real problem was? There was no decoy pizza box.

[@carlrowlinson2833]

Tell me you're a psychopath without telling me you're a psychopath. Anyone that holds hot pizza like that definitely has bodies burried under the patio

[@FlyboyGWN]

In high school, I actually worked with a guy who did this: we sent him across the street to get pizza and, I swear to God, he walked back with it tucked under his arm just like that. We literally had to tell him to open the box and look at it ...

[@NucularRobit]

That's exactly how I expected this skit to end. "Just open it." "...Oh."

[@NuKeRGG]

One time a delivery guy working for a pizza place... Appeared at my house holding the pizza like that... I obviously got really angry.. Apparently was his first day at the job... And I kid you not.. He was really confused why I was mad. I couldn't believe what my eyeballs were witnessing, I thought it was some kind of prank. The fact he seemed confused on why it was bad for him to be holding it like that, baffled me. So I told him to open the pizza box. You obviously know what the pizza looked like. I lost faith in humanity when he looked at the pizza and said: "Omg I'm so sorry, I didn't know that would happen." He legitimately believed the pizza would be fine if he held it like that. How do people like this exist? How braindead and out of touch can you be?

[@recoveringsoul755]

Its ok for s frozen pizza. But anyone who ever ate Pizza knows better. You don't hold cakes sideways rithyer

[@johnwalker1058]

One exception: You've already consumed the pizza, and you're just holding an empty pizza box as you are on your way to a designated waste disposal area or receptacle to throw away the empty box.

[@someguy2135]

One possible punch line.

[@Deleteduser666]

2nd exception there's soo much cheese that the pizza is glued to the box

[@CDNChaoZ]

@@Deleteduser666 There's no such thing as too much cheese.

[@RVMaxtube]

3rd exception: a still frozen, Frozen Pizza. They’re frequently even stacked vertically in the groceries

[@Deleteduser666]

Yes to both of you

[@krononaut1]

Of course, you don't carry a pizza box that way. Does right Julie even deserve to live in a world with pizza? The video should end with left Julie attacking or her.

[@FlatOnHisFace]

Does pizza deserve to live in a world with Julie?

[@scotts8307]

"How dareth though smush the tasty cheese and toppings into a formless mass! I banish you wicked defiler of pizza!!!" While she is holding a pizza holy symbol, and the right Julie melts away saying "What a world."

[@jakemarie828]

Or the pizza slopping through the box onto the floor 😂

[@PhilipLandsberg]

Maybe we'll get a credit scene, or a part two, where right Julie complains to the store or left Julie about how all her cheese and toppings somehow slid and moved "themselves" to one side

[@kurtsudheim825]

It is the right way to hold that box shape, but not with that content inside

[@AnnaAreYouOkay]

Legit, recently had a pizza delivered by a guy who rode the entire way on his bike, with the pizza box between his legs sideways. The cheese was partway out the box and squished into one end. I nearly cried 🥲

[@bobsimon8547]

You've clearly never heard of the United Confederacy of Pizza Shops or the UCPS. They're the equivalent to the mafia, if you wanna open a pizza restaurant you have to pay them a stipend

[@luciakaminski779]

Well, she can hold it however she wants, but that pizza will be a mess 😂

[@georgecaplin9075]

No, this is not one of those “personal freedom” things. This is one of those, “fall in line with the rest of society and you don’t get removed”, things.😊

[@alkischrysanthopoulos5712]

Well see in germany, such a law would probably be called Gesetz über das Tragen von belegten Hefeteigrunden zur Gewährleistung deren sicheren Transports, or Hefeteigrundtragetransportsicherheitsgewährleistungsgesetz, helpfully abbreviated to HeTraSiGewG and paired with a Hefeteigrundtragetransportsicherheitsgewährleistungsdurchführungsverordnung (HeTraSiGewDVO) to ensure its dutiful enforcement.

[@Mike-kc5ew]

You can certainly hold your pizza that way, or any way that makes you happy. Just don't be too surprised when all your toppings find their way to one side of the pizza. :P

[@owenjones3929]

The idea that when she held it vertically she could've turned it upside down, scaring me even more

[@TechnoL33T]

Don't deliver.

[@ppunion]

To us this is a humorous skit. To italians this is a war crime! Julie... You are a war criminal!

[@jonathananonymouse7685]

"How do you know?" Open it up and look for yourself. "Is there a higher authority dictating the rights and wrongs of holding pizza boxes?" Yes, it's called gravity.

[@rossadams8934]

Shout out to adorkable Canadians making two person comedy skits alone. Its mostly Julie and Ryan George but damn do these folks brighten my day.

[@AgnosticFascist]

PIZZA WOKE Julie ..... Scaryyyyyyyy alternative lifestyles 😢

[@kurtsudheim825]

That is the correct way to hold that box, but crucially not with that content

[@acchaladka]

The answer to Bad Pizza Julie, for fans of The Good Place, is obviously yes actually. An eternity of goopy pizza with eyeballs and frantic fire ants as toppings, sounds about right for this kind of outrage. Man, fork that forking Julie.

[@RealRomplayer]

Now looking at it, this *does* look like the Neutral Place they are in right now. Or they are inside of Pizza Janet. Who knows. Just make sure not to use the Time Knife to cut the pizza. You don't want to see that.

[@fatalshore5068]

What a shirtshow

[@donjones4719]

I almost agree, but it's not like she reheated fish in the break room microwave. Surely there must be a way for Bad Pizza Julie to make up the points. Perhaps donate a kidney to a stranger.

[@resourceress7]

Because greasy cheese avalanche.

[@BOABModels]

Actually, a lot of Pizza boxes in the UK do say 'Hold the box flat this way up'

[@abigailfurminger2537]

The answer is Yes.

[@luisvillarreal5262]

She has a point, just like why can’t I eat my chocolate candy bar with a knife and a fork. “What’s wrong with you people!” - Elaine Marie Benes (Seinfeld) 😂

[@josefsilvia5360]

I once needed 2 pizza boxes for a play my theater company was doing. So, I went to my local pizza parlor and paid for 3 empty boxes (in case 1 got ruined during dress rehearsal). I walked out of the parlor and was immediately yelled at by some dude "Don't hold it like that!!"

[@ultimatist]

It's now a Calzone box

[@PaulGuy]

As a former pizza delivery driver, I can state in my professional status that yes, Right Julie is holding it wrong. Left Julie holds it correctly.

[@juzoli]

If you can’t explain why you shouldn’t hold pizza box like that, then something is wrong with you… Holding it parallel to floor is not a cultural thing, not a tradition. Pizza is ruined if you hold like that.

[@marcusaurelius49]

The Italian Institute of Pizza Box Orientation will be in touch. Do NOT ignore their call. 😂

[@badnewsBH]

I did that once. I quickly learned why carrying a fresh pizza like a book you just got at the library wasn't the greatest idea. 😆

[@BrettWB]

That should be a misdemeanour or public flogging.

[@jpconley5618]

Great writing, amazing use of the word cavalier

[@alexanderhay7358]

julie, i love you, just not in that creepy way every pizza delivery driver throughout history thanks you

[@babyblue704]

You literally soynd just like my 2 daughters lmao

[@Aaackermann]

How conspiracy theorists nowaday argue and reason.

[@MrXL]

Thanks!