Dr. Jennifer Harman explains why people who cause parental alienation are perpetrating child abuse

[@emp2715]

Thank you for your ongoing contributions. This pathogen is extremely destructive. I am a rejected parent. This is a traumatic journey, I have been going through. Firstly in a volatile relationship with a narcissist, for 13 years. When I finally left, he had already began the smear campaign. He got an intervention order against me. So now I have been alienated from my children for the past 9 years. My children are suffering abuse in many forms , yet it's unrecognised. I'm in a frozen state of grief. I would not wish this on anyone. I pray for change.

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

So glad this is helpful. I am so sorry for your situation. We are adding much new info here for you. If you have not already, please subscribe to our you tube channel. It is of no charge to you. Also please share the videos. xoxo

[@Lisa58Mc]

my story is parallel to yours Em....I'm so sorry! xx

[@michellezoske7581]

I know that frozen beyond pain soul sucking grief.. how do we not hold on to our memories and stories that normally would be shared with our kids.. that what photo are for... and if we don't talk about it it gets stores as static electricity in our biofield and that has damaging effects on the whole mind body system and our babies can't not grow forward.. and make new memories that we are supposed to make with them... so little time that can become a life time... why destroy all the good potential and love to burn in hell... love is soicj better

[@stalphonsusliguori33]

Dear, you are certainly not alone. I am exactly same situation and I have not seen my son for 14 years. I married to a pathological sociopath narcissist ( he not only mentally abused me but also spiritually and physically). I grew in knowledge about his disorder and he was not alone , I had also two females around my neck with narcissistic behaviour and they were his greatest enablers, his mother and sister. The environment was so toxic, demonic, controlling, never seen anything alike. As you said, I would neither NEVER EVER wish this to anyone, this is a horrible state, as you say in a freezed state of trauma and grief, still today 14 yrs later no contact whatsoever with my son (because his dad made sure I will pay for leaving my husband with the police coming to our home for him assaulting me - choking). Three weeks later He reported me to CPS for being an “unfit mother”, there were smear campaign in CPS, court, kindergarten, school, sports clubs where my son was at both in Sweden and Croatia, there were NO STONE UNTURNED. This much he hated me for abandoning my husband (to him it is that I abandoned him). Our Lord says He will revenge. Imagine how many ppl these toxic demonic spirits crush and that they will be in account for?! The Bible says clearly that those who ensnare and pervert one of Gods little children it will be better that he would have a stone mill around his neck and be cast out in the depth of the see, I just happen to brows through webpages on this topic and I ecountered one of huge gravity: In Dante's Inferno (Hell) it is about how Dante himself was on his way to Hell because of three deadly sins: impulsiveness, violence, fraud and treachery (ie suspect borderline, psychopathy and narcissism combined). Dante’s friend Vergilius then came into the picture and succeeded in getting Dante to end up on a better path. So there can be hope even in the worst situations. Most importantly; YOU CAN NOT HURT PPL AND BELIEVE THAT YOU WILL BE GRANTED ETERNAL LIFE. LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR AS THEY SELF (which the narcissists don’t have in their nature) , they don’t love themelves, how would they love anyone else…

[@watchwomanokc5021]

18 years to Narcissistic man as well, I hid the abuse from the children and he turned them against me in a brutal and cruel smear campaign. My 3 kids were just teens, now in their 30's. Frozen state of grief is exactly what it is.

[@troynunley8161]

A brilliant point by you, Dr. Harman!!! People assume the rejected parent is the abuser. That the unrejected parent is not. SCIENCE shows that abuse leads children to ATTACH, NOT REJECT. 2 points follow: (1) you should suspect the rejected parent is NOT the abuser. (2) you should suspect that the parent to which the child is solely attached actually IS the abuser.

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

I am glad the video was helpful. I hope others of our videos will help you too.

[@CM-sy3to]

Another form of alienation: husband has affair with young woman, there is a divorce where mom doesn't have enough support to keep house and has to enter the workforce after being a sahm. Dad marries young co-worker = 2 professional careers, nice house, vacations etc. Mom has kids most of the time as a single parent with terrible financial stress. Dad gets weekends of fun and holidays. 4-5 years down the road, teen kids reject the haggard, broke mom and embrace the beautiful young step-mom and cool Dad with all the money. Dad doesn't have to say a word against the mom, he wins.

[@hdskl2150]

This cannot be said enough times. Its so important to make this known in courtrooms, divorce counseling, etc. I have been praying to God to help minister to thoae going through this type of grief. Pray he will use me to spread knowledge, joy, and faith. Blessings to you all!

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

Stay strong and trust God! Very well said.

[@druwright]

Thank you for making this video. I have been praying and asking God for clarity in such a complex and confusing situation of being alienated. I’ve been searching for answers and struggling to understand why and how this has happened. My heart feels heavy and broken but I will continue to pray and have hope that maybe someday the truth will be revealed and our relationships restored 😢❤

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

So glad this was helpful. I do hope other of our videos help you too.

[@ebonydumas7255]

Thank you so much! This is exactly what I’ve been trying to explain to the courts but it’s been falling on deaf ears. The courts seem to just take the word of the other parent and don’t even want to hear all of the false allegations made by the alienating parent. It’s so sad and nothing hurts worse than missing a kid or having someone turn your child against you! 😢😢😢

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

I am truly sorry for your situation. I am glad this video helped. Please share with others so it will them as well. I hope other videos here on our you tube will help you and also our website, webinars and conferences.

[@adriennelett1590]

Thank you for this. My older daughter . Has gone through this. I no longer have a relstionship with my daughter.

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

Sorry to hear that

[@karencoak3194]

My ex and new wife alienated my oldest two sons, stepmom spearheaded and continues to alienate my children expecting them to support and be responsible for her three children financially and emotionally. They do so willingly. They’re all young adults. My adult children reestablished more recently with me (after 20 yrs) but are having severe emotional instability because of all the brainwashing/abuse. Heartbreaking and step mom/dad continue abusing the adult children.

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

So very sorry for your situation. I do hope that our videos here help you. We also have a website with much info there as well as monthly webinars. God bless.

[@honeylady108]

Happening to my family too. I lost my granddaughter to severe alienation. Court and 2 "reunification" therapists fail to bring her back to my son, my grandson and me. My grandson, left behind with father when mother left them, taking his sister to go live with another man, has not seen his mother or sister because mother will only see her son if he does it with "boyfriend" included. My grandson refuses. He watched from his window when his mother and some guy he never met nor had known of, pulls up to the house, then his mom and sister leave with them. That happened close to 3 years ago and we have only seen my granddaughter a few times since then. Not at all since last August. I pray almost constantly about this, and for my granddaughter. This video is spot on description of what's going on. We are in textbook severe alienation syndrome. My son cannot find anyone in our area trained in severe PA. Judge doesn't see it, yet. It's still all in litigation, and taking a huge toll on my son, my grandson, myself and all extended family on paternal side.

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

So very sorry for your situation. I do hope our videos help you.

[@sonyaclove4178]

I’m currently in court trying to present to our judge how PA is child abuse. The courts/judges should be mandated to educate themselves on what PA is and it’s harms on the children. How can we request this be done? That judges take classes or get informed on PA?

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

I am so sorry for your family's situation. Unfortunately, the professionals involved with PA are not required to have classes. We wish it were so as well.

[@Lisa58Mc]

Sonya the more I read & educated myself on the full pathogen going on the more I began to to understand & stop blaming myself....Knowledge is power remember...especially in this nightmare ❤

[@recoveringsoul755]

I think they know. But they perpetrate it because there's more money in long drawn out custody battles. Therapists, trials, they don't care about the children. They've been giving full custody to the abuser for 40 years now. It has a detrimental effect on the childs health 100% of the time

[@inspectorforyou7624]

If you are a woman and your husband has taken control and access of your child fully that is domestic violence by proxy stop utilizing men's rights language men's rights language is parental alienation just by using those 2 words you are harming the best technology victims who are women so stop please

[@cheriemillsdunn7227]

Thank you Family Access- Fighting for Children's Rights, to help us TPs, who feel as though we are drowning in the bellies of the beasts. The early stages of PA began in 2012, with the complete alienation from my youngest son in 2015, though I first learned of PA by name during my opposition to the AP's full conservatorship of my 1st born son in 2020. On some days I can only just breathe to cope with my grief, while others I dive in head first to clinical studies published and, videos with experts in the field such as the one you produced with Dr. Jennifer Harman. Dr. Harman is one of the most sincere, and informative scientists that I've followed thus far and I have total respect. You all empower me through your strength and knowledge, to learn more and fight harder for my boys, for myself, and for others suffering from this vindictive form of child abuse and domestic violence. I pray that judges, attorneys, teachers, and pediatricians learn exactly what PA is soon, and respond quickly to protect the innocent. God bless y'all!

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

Cherie, I am so glad we can be of help in some small way. Dr. Harman is phenomenal. I do hope you will share these videos and tell others about them. If you have not subscribed to our you tube channel, I hope that you will. Also please check out all of our upcoming events on our website.

[@cheriemillsdunn7227]

I will absolutely check your channel for upcoming events and will certainly be spreading/sharing your PA knowledge whenever (and wherever) I can. Would love to attend a workshop or conference to become more informed and involved. Thank you again for your presence.

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

@@cheriemillsdunn7227 we actually have an upcoming virtual international conference September 9-11. I hope you can join us.

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

@@cheriemillsdunn7227 we have a conference September 9-11. Please check our website for details. I hope that you can attend.

[@batmanandstarwars3891]

The mother of my kids should of been jailed for what she has done to me and my extended family . I haven't seen or spoken to my 2 kids in over 3 years . She was up at the school mouthing off about me . She was calling child protection all the time . She was regimental with the court orders when I had the kids . But very flexible with the orders when she had them . She wouldn't stop with her false allegations . My kids have absolutely no one to turn to , except there mother . That's excatly what she wanted . The family court in Australia is a pathetic joke . They allowed her on going abuse of the kids and myself. I was the one who had to take a step back , so the kids could have some kind of normality in there lives . But I haven't given up on them , and I won't. I'm hoping this year is the year that I reconnect with them .

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

So sorry you and your family are going through this. Stay strong and trust God. Praying this will be the year! I hope these videos help you much. We have a website with many articles to help as well. God bless.

[@goncalvesheloisa]

I fought for my son for 3 years. But I gave up on him since he called me crazy and brainless and kicked my stomach and my mouth. I couldn't stand the pain every time he was indifferent and agressive to me. I simply gave up 😞

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

I am so very sorry for your situation. The experts in the field of alienation have taught us to never give up. Please know this is not really the child you knew as the alienator has brain washed them. They are our child no matter what. Our love as a parent or grandparent needs to be unconditional. Please go to our website and look at all the articles and videos there that can help you. xoxo

[@goncalvesheloisa]

@@FamiliesDividedTV Thank you, I'll check your website.

[@michellezoske7581]

that is very sad to me

[@goncalvesheloisa]

@@michellezoske7581 yes :(

[@h0lyspiritual.sweetheart]

🫂take good care of yourself glow up to be that sane, soft landing spot for your little guy when he realizes the betrayal of being used to punish you and wants his the feel good energy of you, mommy, more🙏

[@dr.marnihillfoderaro1064]

Families Divided is a great resource. Dr. Jennifer Harman’s research on Parental Alienation has brought so much awareness to this Child Abuse. 💕🙏🏼😃 I was honored that she endorsed my 5-book series “TRUE DECEIT FALSE LOVE” which addresses and provides terms and tools related to Parental Alienation. 📚📖✏️

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

Thank you! Our desire is to bring much awareness to the abuse of alienation and all that it entails. Dr. Harman's work in this field is amazing!

[@reg8297]

Denied this my entire life my first abuser was my mother my next abuser father of my kids who after i left him he brainwashed my kids daily over 20 years i was supposed to be abused i still struggle with intense rage at my parent for what she done to my life

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

So veery sorry for your situation. I hope our you tube channel and our website can help you.

[@bronwentownsend5601]

The stepmother was and still is very active in lying to and alienating my child from me. There is no way her words or actions have not been on purpose. This woman who is not even a biological parent has destroyed my daughter.

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

So sorry your family is going through all of this. I do hope our you tube channel, website and webinars help you.

[@jenniferjoyjones]

Same here.

[@bringbryanback]

Thank you for this presentation.

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

Our pleasure! I hope other videos help as well.

[@Katie-c8j]

Going through this now 😢. Im going through reunification therapy. I do have a good atty helping me through this horrible nightmare. Makes no sense why we are enduring this horrible experience. My prayers to all that is affected by these monsters!!

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

So sorry for your situation. I hope other of our videos help you.

[@age93]

You made me realize how my 10 year old not wanting to go to access anymore is probably interpreted as I'm the alienator. But also when people say, "obviously he wants to go and is just telling you elsewise since when he does go he has fun." 😓

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

In many cases when this happens, it is because the parent with custody is bad mouthing the other parent and should not be no matter what the situation is between the parents. Not sure of your situation.

[@basicprogrammer6147]

My little children used to love me and eat vegetables with me and chant for cheese. Now, I will never see them again, or it will be very awkward. Eternal hell.

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

So very sorry. I hope our videos help.

[@mariopallenjr]

Are their any programs that help parents in this crisis? Many programs teach us to give up and cope with the regression, and abuse of our children.

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

WE nevewr suggest you give up! WE have many videos here to help you as well as our website.

[@trentsteel1542]

I can pretend to act confused about what happened and there'll be a slight chance that someone will actually listen. Or I can call it out for what it is and no one will believe it. I guess it's because everyone lies so much that the truth sounds like lie.

[@cristinoestrada9865]

Brother you speak about it you let people know about it don't don't let there be A-day that you don't tell somebody about what you experience There's little boys who're gonna grow up and come across these human beings who are predators who well drive them to suicide or put them in prison or take their sons away and it's up to us to speak about it and bring it to their attention because we've been through it's real I'm just gonna make a hard cool video right now I'm kicked off

[@trentsteel1542]

@@cristinoestrada9865 👍 good. Send me a link. I'm in a pa support group on Fb it's virtually all women. I suspect at least half of them are the actual alienators. All you hear in that group is how much men suck. Maybe 2 of them are actually court ordered to pay child abuse support. But I'm Pretty sure not one of them has ever been threatened with debtors prison

[@ChucksNPearls]

You're 🎯! It's oppression. For the naysayers & bystanders, it's Cognitive Dissonance"... Where a fact contradicts your known reality so much, your brain ignores it or denies it to avoid the mental discomfort it causes....

[@Thepathof77]

Exactly. If you call it out you’re called crazy

[@JosephineArmstrong-l1u]

Thankyou for your video ❤ I learnt alot!

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

Glad it helped. I hope other videos help as well.

[@ImaCatMaia]

I don't understand HOW my 11 and 18 year old kids could be manipulated this way after me being the VERY primary parent this whole time, and WHY they would believe that I did awful things that NEVER did or could happen??!!

[@beataannanowak659]

My biological abusive father-my son's grandfather-abused physically and emotionally in front of my child. He was abusing me my entire life together with my mother - now they took my child away from me.

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

So sorry for your situation. I hope our videos help.

[@reg8297]

My own mother abused me from childhood that led to me meeting another abuser who spent years after i left him brainwashing my kids to abuse me im barely able to function from the aftermath of wat she caused over a period of 50 years im still trying to cope with her evil after effects

[@Ronald-pe8di]

I'm living with this.

[@eprofengr6670]

Very important topic that is a human rights issue. Thanks for sharing. --- What do you think of including a DVD of the documentary, Erasing Family (2020), as an Offer of Proof or Exhibit with a court document of either objection or a motion? Do you have any other references that may be good to remind a court, or court of appeals about this major problem?

[@Kemano24]

How do you deal with a case when the alienator denies that they would influence the child against the other parent and the child themself does the the resisting of all contact saying 'they are just not in the mood', or 'they've lost all trust in the other parent'? You can only see how the child performs the resistance. But how do you find out how the alienating is conducted, nevertheless prove it?

[@age93]

The biggest issue besides the child rejecting a parent is successful receiving intervention. I have sole custody so I feel the narrative being pushed of me (vindictive, alienating, controlling, etc) is taken seriously. My claims have never been truly investigated. And now that the child wants to speak to someone about the abuse to stop visiting dad, child protect and the access centre refuse to even listen to him. Probably think I'm coaching him. I'm heartbroken that the system is failing him directly now after indirectly for years.

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

This is your second post on this video so something hit a nerve. Maybe take a step back and look at the whole picture and how this is affecting your child. There is always a way for the children to see both parents. Having "sole" custody is like owning the child. You do not. No one does.

[@lynnschaeferle-zh4go]

An alienator knows part of the agony is having to explain to everyone what happened to the children you used to be tight with. You have to explain it but it doesn’t change the fact that no one believes it. The alienator is such a good person and I couldn’t do anything to be more saintly. It took years for it to happen but it did despite my efforts. So I went to the mental hospital and now I am not worthy of knowing my own family.

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

Sorry for your situation. I do hope our videos help you.

[@orangeandslinky]

Yes, this video explained that women hate it when the children love their fathers. To a man, we don't know why. It does explain why in most cases a marriage is over upon the birth of a child. The woman's heart goes to the child as a possession somehow. To women, there is no WE, OUR, US. Women say this is MY son. These are MY kids. Not ours at all. If we just knew what your saying years ago, thousands and thousands of marriages would have never happened. Going steady was very loving, kind, and just great. Marriage ruins everything for the man, because he thinks things are even going to be better for all. Oh how very very wrong he is. Men, stay as single as Jesus.

[@orangeandslinky]

I don't know why this happened, but everything you said did happen to me and still is. I love our son , but our son hates me and is super angry at me. I was married to his mom for 35 years before she left me. Our son is 36 years old, lives with his mom, is a raging alcoholic and has high blood pressure. His mother somehow hated me after our son was born, and I don't know why. I loved being a dad and a husband. We all were Christian and home-schooled our son. My wife would from time to time say our son was like her side of the family and I would never truly understand him. She was alienating him from me from his birth and I felt it but you laid it out perfectly. It's like you were a fly on our wall seeing everything I couldn't see. My wife for her own reasons hated that our son loved me for reasons I still don't know. I don't have to know now. I see that you understand the ugly truth that my son doesn't like me because he was raised to not like me. Wow, I never knew this happened to people before. It could be that my wife had a personality defect that caused this. Her mother NEVER wanted her to have kids and told her so. My wife's dad said, "Now that you have a newborn son , the women you knew (his own daughter) you will NEVER SEE AGAIN! He was right.

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

So sorry for your situation. I hope our videos help.

[@TheOfficialSweetBabyJake2015]

alienated grandparents here, victims of alienating mom and stepdad-

[@christineplaton3048]

Parental alienation takes place when a narcissistic male is aggressive towards the young males in the family. Ours was covert. I'm very much needing to help my sons heal from this and reunite with them.

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

This happens with women as well, not just men.

[@startwithurfeet]

Circle jerk mentality?

[@japaneseimmersion566]

Is there a way you could add Japanese subtitles? this is a very big problem over here.

[@FamiliesDividedTV]

I am so sorry. I do not understand how to do that.

[@Ronald-pe8di]

It's an attachment problem. John Bowlby.

[@Ronald-pe8di]

They have to stop giving Moms custody

[@francesbernard2445]

All true. Another fact is that whenever people try to advocate for people from that kind of demographic and from other kinds of demographics like for example refugees there is always going to be some people around who will take advantage of any publicity about that cause and the situation too while they are being manipulative, abusive, and doing crime too. So frustrating for people who are social workers or who are social workers, secretaries who work in family law offices and all of the people working in police stations too. During the COVID-19 pandemic a strange thing started happening while professionals began to work only online. Some professionals were starting to have a problem with their looking glass self when it comes to incorporating that into how they assess the history of their client's situation. For example if the children in a disfunctional family situation are relatively healthy while beating the odds better than expected while surviving through allegedly lot well then during COVID-19 the curiosity concerning who is telling the truth was increading while far less was being done to support the young people stuck in the middle of their parent's dispute among them. That is why so many young people during COVID-19 rules and for years after those rules ended ended up homeless and dead far more often.

[@sandyhebert3613]

My mother was so abusive as the truth teller scapegoat who escaped 1 person told me I was worth more and deserve more thanks Ed my savior 15yrs.old got on horsetraler no contact until yrs.later

[@sandyhebert3613]

My sons a narcissist she made sure he knew he was better than the other children I tried taking him to Counciling,because of his behavior and communication skills gets worse with age I'm 65 abandoned alienated tormented by the fact that I don't know what I can do to help him be a better person dad son husband I see his pain 😢

[@sandyhebert3613]

Godspeed to all