Dr. Jordan B. Peterson on infidelity - betrayal.

[@WORLDWISDOMSPEAKS]

We need more Jordan Petersons in this world. Who agrees?

[@baselibrahim483]

Or Jordans Peterson

[@WORLDWISDOMSPEAKS]

@@baselibrahim483

[@legionmeta]

Yes, I agree. And more importantly, we need more people to listen to the Jordan Petersons of the world.

[@TeitySprinkTTV]

Could we have just this Jordan Peterson without all the anti-progressive and pro conservative dialogue

[@catherinesummers5057]

We certainly do

[@anonam0us328]

The sudden look of pain and hurt on Jordan's face after that question was asked. Wow. He can put himself in other's shoes and really feel what they are feeling.

[@lesellen1994]

I have never heard such great thinking on so many levels…and to voice how devastating betrayal is. Our society is lucky to have this man at this time.

[@0dulesduds]

I wish everyone felt the same about betrayal because if they did they would feel the same about abuse or abusing others and it would never happen ever again.

[@tonyausten2168]

Jordan is Autistic

[@He_Never_Quits]

@@lesellen1994 Dr. Peterson is a living legend. I believe part of his illness was the inner grappling with the realization of self that he is in fact a living historical figure on the level or above Jung. Now you can debate that all day long but he’s in the conversation and history works it out. To realize how important you are and what you’re doing will have implications as to wether your species potentially survives… that’s a blow to one’s mind. It can cause a sickness that’s akin to mental illness. It devastates one’s axioms and they need to be rebuilt but the ego must be fleshed out from the proper aims that would sustain oneself under the burden of knowing such knowledge about one’s impact on culture at such a critical time in history. He’s a legend.

[@PatriciaWallingford]

I appreciate the gutt wrenching truths he shares in this response. Too many "therapists" are quick to talk about how to "repair" the relationship, and it almost seems like the faithful partner is often thrust into a position of feeling obligated to "make it work." Thank you, Dr. Peterson for not placing that kind of responsibility on the faithful...and for actually acknowledging how painful and ultimately how self-destructive taking that approach would be.

[@EllyKallan]

Betrayal is the worst regardless who it comes from but it’s the best opportunity for personal growth. Thank you Dr. Peterson for such priceless contribution to humanity

[@carmenkamberos1156]

Betrayal is the kiss of death in any relationship. It’s ok to lose your partner, but never, ever lose your dignity and self respect.

[@semperfitygaming5619]

This is the decision I made tonight. Your words ring true friend

[@Samanyamanushya]

this is the decision I made 2 months ago. And as of 15 days back, I am officially divorced. ​@@semperfitygaming5619

[@randymarshusa2928]

Thank you i just found out about an 11 month affair. I keep wanting to go back but i know it will happen again

[@afdkj-z9g]

@@randymarshusa2928unfortunately It will happen again 😢 Love yourself. Get your dignity and respect back. Betrayal is the worst form of disrespect.

[@Ohhhoneyyy]

@@randymarshusa2928 did you go back ? Please say no…

[@franciehartsog1347]

I have walked this path with my own patients and in my own life. Dr. Peterson is so right. It takes two people to dance in any relationship. I have been cheated on. I went through the rage after 20 years of marriage. Betrayed, I left my home, my state, my job and my family to start over and it’s been a long road. It’s like climbing out of quicksand. But by God’s grace and a lot of prayer, counseling and self awareness I have been happily remarried for the past 12 years. My second husband loves Jordan Peterson as much as I do. That’s a great thing. ❤

[@no_prisoners6474]

Blessed be God forever.

[@xanthirudha]

What if the person doesnt want to walk you through what happened/confess, can you recover

[@cmcdonald5319]

@Jonas Kgomo yes you can. It shows they are protecting themselves and their secrets over your right to your reality. SO.. you may need to heal without being in a relationship with them. ALSO... you probably don't really want all the details that betrayed partners think they want to know in the beginning. Anything that allows you to paint a picture in your mind (hair color, race, sexual positions, names (unless it is someone you may know) all become triggers for the betrayed partner.

[@andrewcanady6644]

Appreciate the optimistic message. I’m very happy to hear you’re doing fine.

[@justagirljean1111]

Lived/living this Hell. Was very naive dormat married to a selfish arrogant emotionally unavailable man. The perfect match! This betrayal broke me but the wisdom I gained about myself while ‘unpacking’ all my demons was priceless. The wound is deep and I have a long way to go. A lot still in the fog. JP is brilliant. God bless. 🙏🏼

[@JMarshallYTTV]

Same for me only reverse the genders

[@pettrehello4320]

The way it sound you are healed already

[@JMarshallYTTV]

@@pettrehello4320 not yet, it seems a long process but I am getting better thank you.

[@amberklein1560]

You're not alone. Keep hanging on. ❤

[@JMarshallYTTV]

@@amberklein1560 sadly I realize this in an all too common occurrence

[@zeilaporto9504]

6:18 "someone that I loved had the capacity to do that to me " That is the moment you go down to the pit...coming out of it takes extraordinary strength. Only God could do it for me; only the unshakable love of Jesus. After many years I can smile as I write this , Real Love never fails. Thank you again, doc.

[@dailyambientandsoothingmus687]

Wow! I am Waiting for that day! Pray Gods hands are on me!

[@mirandamarais6149]

Same here.

[@CedroneTravels]

I’m not sure how I am getting thru this

[@chadm11]

❤ to all the real queens out there that stand by their husband through trial and tribulation, never dishonouring your divine vow and allowing another man to enter her flesh and deteriate her soul and marriage/ family. Do they even exist? I thought they did.

[@curoseba5363]

He looks so happy and even more confident when Tammy is around. It’s lovely to watch. They definitely complete each other.

[@Hijabisbeautiful23]

I feel like I’m back in my college lecture class. Professor Peterson is brilliant. We need more teachers like him in the world ♥️

[@phasespace4700]

If your academic major happens to be lies and stupidity, L. Ron Peterson would indeed be an outstanding mentor.

[@atta1798]

@@phasespace4700 you have to respect people's point of view.....watch I will answer you the same you answered to the beautiful lady .... it seems your intellect and reasoning never developed at home or you might not have ever gone to school.....either way you human quality reflects immaturity and lack of personal integrity and it reflects your own stupidity and living in a lie in your life.....did I hit a nerve and the truth along the answer?

[@atta1798]

Definitely his critical thinking ability on his expertise when expressing the facts impartially should be used by most people outside Academics....you find this in the science community Cheers!!!

[@nj5023]

When my ex cheated on me after 20 yrs, I dug deep. Therapy didn’t work because the betrayal was denied and never admitted. And I’m a person who was in it for life and I have the wherewithal to do it, too. But when I contemplated the amount of work it would take to have a good relationship with him, not an adequate but a good relationship, when I looked deep enough, I realized that I didn’t love him enough to go there. I even wondered if I ever did.

[@LucaAnamaria]

You loved the person he portrayed himself to be. And if he didn't show up authentically, that's the best you could have done. People like that don't even give you the opportunity to love them. They hide behind a mask; they hide who they truly are. So when we find out that they never loved us, we mustn't take it personally...they don't even love themselves enough to show up.

[@nj5023]

Thank you. That is exactly why I realized I never loved him. I loved an illusion that was not him. I appreciate your comment.

[@LucaAnamaria]

@@nj5023 I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been in your situation and I know how it feels. I wish you healing and resilience.

[@nj5023]

It’s been many years and I’ve worked hard on myself to be a better person, so I’m doing well. Thank you. Not sure I’ll ever be “healed” entirely from that episode tho. Sorry you went through it as well. I’m sure it made us both better people for having lived through it. ❤️

[@LucaAnamaria]

@@nj5023 It takes a really long time to heal. But I think it is possible. We just have to keep moving forward while being compassionate enough to be kind with ourselves when grief arises. I wish you blessings.

[@tazzywazzy7599]

The best predictor of further behaviors is that of past behaviors.

[@tatianasouza2361]

This was exactly what my church priest told me when I went to consult with him regarding my marital situation. A person who betrays you is highly likely to do it again; therefore, this is a vicious sin that hunts whoever commits it forever. Dr. Peterson, you are God sent, such a wise man. May God bless your heart and soul.

[@craggyexplores3070]

Once that behaviour has been enabled there's no goin baak

[@kikit0732]

Sins can’t haunt anyone forever because Jesus is available to all of us, victims and perpetrators alike. All of us fall short of God’s glory, not by works, but by our birth.

[@iamdissapoint4614]

Just found out one of my colleagues' wife has betrayed him, and it wasn't an one-off. It shook me to the core. They were seen as this kind of poster marriage. The guy sorted himself out very quickly in his life, got a decent job, his wife was no slouch as well. They got married young, I was a lector at their wedding mass. I've been a lector/an altar boy on quite a few wedding masses, and I could tell if the couples were fake and only got to church to appease their grandparents, or if they were truly genuine, moved to be taking the lifetime vows. They were obviously the latter. Everything was seemingly as good as it could be. Few years passed by and bam!, completely out of a sudden the fact comes out that she's neck deep into an affair, basically already living with the other man and ready to have a divorce right away. No one had a clue. There probably were some signs occuring which had been ignored by the husband, but these were objectively invisible from the outside, even for their close families. I also think he couldn't possibly imagine the magnitude of the situation. As I said, it shook me to the core. I'm currently planning, sorting myself out and doing other things so that I can propose to my girlfriend in forseeable future. That marriage and that guy could be seen as a model for me. Now I've been binge-watching Jordan Peterson videos on the topic of betrayal, and this one is the best of them all. It adresses the true depth and profoundness of the issue, helps me think how to act so that I possibly, by God, never have to find myself in such hell. Asking for prayers for that marriage, they need it.

[@He_Never_Quits]

Thank you for sharing. We don’t really know others well. We just don’t. Typically we habituate and see what we want to see. This is what enables sociopaths to so easily manipulate people. Think of it this way, how well do you think you know another person in context to how much you really know about yourself. These are profound questions. In some sense the journey of a lifetime is to find oneself and live up to your fullest potential. That’s hard. We all fall short. Typically when we start to “fix ourselves” by reconciling our past, present and future with as much Truth as possible. We have to be brutally truthful with ourselves and usually what we need most is exactly where we least want to go in our psyche. That’s also in line with the Hero’s motif, right? The hero is that person who was one place, X happens to them and they fall into a pit, and make the Heroes journey back and then better than they were. Properly integrating ourselves, the long dark night of the soul (

[@hhmaster789]

Binge-watching JP, me too. But I’m 36 but never had a boyfriend before, I wish to find a god-fearing man and have some babies one day, I’m always a christ and church lover, I’m here to learn from others mistake.

[@LuckyRufey]

Why would you need to be around another human being so badly to even have to ask what to do if your wife was sexually involved with another dude… let go turn the page forgive and move on out of their life.

[@bjkarana]

I've been married for 14 years. No matter what you believe in, or how sincerely you believe it, we are all susceptible to temptation; just go into it knowing that there are no guarantees and there's risk involved. Of course we're all human and we're all imperfect, it just is what it is, and while your marriage will be the framework of your adult life, it is *not* the cornerstone of your adult life.

[@vickiv.v.615]

Prayers said. God bless you.

[@HeavenlyLights]

Good Man that he actually says 16:02-16:16 the betrayer must admit and atone BEFORE the receiver’s rage is genuinely eliminated and they can FORGIVE. Too many advise just to forgive…

[@chadm11]

Absolutely

[@AbrahamsAnt]

He is brilliant. Simply brilliant. What a profound, insightful, deep, thorough analysis! I would give anything to have the chance to have 10 therapy sessions with him! I never came across a helpful therapist and I’ve really tried. Most don’t really care and are terribly superficial. I don’t need anyone to tell me to write down five positive things that happened to me every day 🤨 Gosh I love intelligent, empathetic people!

[@oliviasmit2657]

It was so beautiful to see how he really felt the weight of his conclusion and became emotional...

[@giftaliaevanspizarro4860]

Why do I trust Dr. Peterson? It's because you can see that he really thinks about his response. Why does he do this? I could be wrong, but it's probably because he knows that what he says could improve or ruin someone's life. For this reason, I can feel that he cares. He's careful with his words because he understands the responsibility that comes with that level of influence. God bless you, Dr. Peterson!

[@abiade9614]

I was just thinking about this the other day. Trying to describe J.Peterson and why I trust his words so profoundly. It’s kinda of scary… you don’t want to put anyone on a pedestal or take their words as Bible. Especially someone you don’t actually know. However, the long careful pauses. The careful phrasing of words. And most importantly the sincere severity of his responses prove he understands what’s being asked…. And even what might not be asked but needs to. It makes me want to listen to every word he has to say.

[@Dagdagandag]

Don't trust no celebrity. No false idols.

[@flexflow4602]

What startled me is … JP enfolds for the audience pretty clearly the magnitude of such a catastrophe in one‘s personal life … yet, such thing happens so often that no one is really shocked when it happens to someone else. Isn’t it?

[@VigilantGuardian6750]

@@elaine7860 you guys need theocracy again, for betraying through infidelity your spouse under proper islamic theocracy, you get death sentence as it should be, baseline morality is pretty much lost in the far West, too much hipocrisy

[@theawakengeneration8826]

I’m going through this now. The whole time I’ve been in a relationship with my wife she has had an affair with her Ex.. For 25 years I’ve been gaslight beyond belief. All I’ve asked for is the truth. But still she protects him over my mental health and well-being. This is what happens when 2 selfish people decide to follow an action that absolutely destroys their partners.

[@lesliedafneaguilaochoa5958]

May the Lord grant you peace and wisdom

[@rabinraj15]

I can relate to this mate... What I can share is that the truth will never come, it's been almost 3 years I've been waiting... The longer we wait the worst it gets... I strongly encourage you (if you haven't yet) to engage a psychotherapist and start the healing process... To get more info on why the truth doesn't come & probably no proper closure even, I recommend you check out Dr Ramani on KZbin ( if you haven't). Wishing you to be blessed with strength & guidance to sail tru these painful ruthless unfair injustice moments and come out much wiser, stronger & legendary! as they say ''Tough times don't last but tough ppl do" Much love & respect ♥️ 🙏🏽, God Bless

[@aaronbarron6292]

@The Awaken Generation, r/asoneafterinfidelity will help you try make sense. Best of luck.

[@He_Never_Quits]

Sounds like a trip to hell. Thank you for sharing. Hopefully you’ve learned as much about yourself as you learned about her.

[@theskyizblue2day431]

Free yourself from their nonsense. You will never get answers you desire. Stop looking, just rip the bandaid off my brother.

[@L_W748]

When you treat sex and lust as something that is benign and not absolutely sacred in a marriage, you mentally leave the door open for other people, whether it’s porn, flirting, or an affair. All of it erodes the sacredness of a marriage and erodes trust over time, if not shattering it instantly. It’s really important to reflect upon yourself and consider what darkness lives within you that would lead you to hurt someone that badly. And then drag it into the light and kill it. Affairs are never the victims fault, aside from being naïve, which I believe is a weak form of self protection from the things and people that will crush you. I’m watching this on Valentine’s Day as a married woman whose husband cheated on her two years ago. We sat and picked through the layers like JP described. It was excruciating. The source of the affair was his childhood trauma, selfishness and insecurity. He has been taking down those demons while I try to heal the trauma. I stepped out in faith to trust him again and things are going well. I’m praying they stay that way, but I’m no longer naïve. We both experienced painful personal growth out of that situation.

[@He_Never_Quits]

Thank you for sharing and you laid that out very well. It sounds like you are definitely on top of things despite the pain and suffering inherent in the circumstances. Bravo for all the effort and work!

[@lorrainebuono8824]

Please be very careful with this. Once your eyes are opened, they see a great deal more that you may have missed and infidelity is just one sign of the enormity of abuse that you may be exposed to. I firmly believe once a cheater, always a cheater. They don’t just get better, takes a great deal of deceit and lies to carry on an affair, that’s some deep disrespect there. If you need support Chump Lady on KZbin is a great source of support for any person that has been abused by infidelity. It is the tip of the iceberg. Good luck to you on your journey.

[@heidiainsworth4348]

I believe that recovery is absolutely possible if the work is done.People that say once a cheater always a cheater are the kind of people I'd not get and advice from.Keep your head up! Prayers for you and your husband!

[@SuperSilverJay]

Oh no. You should never go back to a cheater. Next time they just will hide it better. People don't change that easily. It takes years to see real change and by that time you'd most likely get hurt again.

[@matinaki1644]

You were not naive, you were innocent. He killed your innocence in that matter (as other situations kill our innocence in other matters). It is traumatic to the core. But you were not naive. Just innocent. You will never have your innocence back and you grieve for it. Bless you.

[@annetterobinson668]

The worst part is learning to trust YOURSELF again,and then other people. And after that forgiving yourself and the other person. THAT is the hardest part. But both those need to be done to fully heal. Many blessings to anyone going through betrayal aftermath it is one of the darkest nights of the Soul. But once you get through the fire,if you face it,go through it,and LEARN the lesson....you will never allow yourself to go through it again. And only then,...may you know peace.

[@Etlr22]

Thank you for this. I've been going through this for about 7 years (18 years married), he doesn't admit to it even after I proved it, I feel like if he doesn't admit it will happen again, it's a kind of hopelessness cause I know he will never confess just because he won't contradict himself. I fell very confused. He doesn't speak to my family, everything is a problem, I guess I'm just tired but frozen ar the idea of leaving.

[@marynoonan6111]

I was told by a psychologist at the time my husband walked off into the sunset with his Secretary and this marriage ending cliché tucked under his arm, that what people dont fully understand, is that the other party is a good 18 months ahead in the break up game when they walk out that door. They've initiated it, mulled it over, often hidden finances, they are quite devious and by the time the news breaks, they do not give one shit about you. They may turn up to "marriage guidance" but they have absolutely no intention of acting upon anything. She said so, basically, you should stop wasting your time and just let them go. Make sure you line your legal ducks up in a row, Pronto! She was SPOT on.

[@He_Never_Quits]

Well there you have it. 👍

[@Mike__G]

In my naïveté in my early 20s I married a person who was fundamentally unreliable. They exist. And sure enough, she betrayed me. In fact, there was a good deal of indirect evidence right from the start. Why didn’t I do something about it? Part of it was wilful blindness. Part of it was giving her the benefit of the doubt. After 5 years of a miserable marriage, the evidence became incontrovertible. At that time I took aggressive action. The marriage was purgatory. The divorce was hell. It took years to get over the whole mess. Remarried to someone very different, and this has lasted, not without its significant challenges and even a betrayal, but it was possible to recover with a great deal of effort. My wife is an essentially good person. 36 years and counting.

[@He_Never_Quits]

Wow. That’s a success story! You definitely took the Hero’s journey down into the pit and fought your way back up! 💪🙌 Thank you Mike for contributing to the discussion! I’m sure it will be a beacon to those facing the same journey!

[@lancedukel3436]

Something rarely mentioned regarding infidelity is the physical risk of giving an unsuspecting partner stds. It happens all the time often with devastating results.

[@wyleecoyotee4252]

My mom got std's from my cheating father

[@TheJett1904]

Yep

[@aeiou0123]

Also the risk of being hurt or even killed by the third party

[@shalomhobbitess7509]

Yes. A friend of mine ended up going on hormones in her thirties because she didn't realize her husband was committing infidelity and didn't realize she had PID until it had advanced so far there wasn't much else to do but take everything out. Historically that's been a bigger risk with women, because they can deal with STDs of various kinds without knowing it until the disease is well settled in. But recent studies indicate guys can be more easily rendered infertile from chlamydia than previously thought, and of course herpes is the gift that keeps on giving. More instinctively monogamous people, be they male or female, can be pretty devastated just by knowing they've been infected with an STD, even if it's treatable. I am all for sticking to the marriage vows through thick and thin, but there's a difference between remaining loyal to someone who is having a hard time and being difficult or otherwise causing you stress, and putting up with someone who is actively trying to destroy the relationship. Infidelity crosses that line. A marriage only works if both partners will put the necessary work in it; in most cases, adultery is evidence that one partner isn't willing to try.

[@aeiou0123]

​@@shalomhobbitess7509 Perfectly articulated. I have been struggling to explain this to women who are bent on blaming the other woman for their husband's or boyfriends infidelity. How can they not see that it is the spouse who they took a vow with? No the other woman. If you will permit me, I will copy and paste this to them so they can see what I mean,

[@StephenAndersonSACreate]

Thank you for this. I'm doing a lot of shadow work right now that has revealed a lifetime of profound betrayals of trust culminating in a relationship with someone who lies firmly on the psychopathy spectrum, culminating at its crescendo in years of debilitating and undiagnosed PTSD. And I've had to come to see how I have repeatedly set myself up for that and been a doormat throughout all my relationships; being willing to put up with anything in order to not be without that (falsely) perceived security of being loved. And I am so appreciative of his deep understanding and compassion toward those who have found themselves the victim of the most malevolent type of human. The level of destruction and torment these people casually inflict is indescribable to people (the vast majority) who have never been in the orbit of such a person. Really wish Jordan had been such a high profile therapist back then but am happy for others that he is now.

[@slm2021]

OMG. You just described my life..and I have been in therapy my whole life!!! If only I had been in therapy with him and the new trauma therapist!! I am 65 & still trying to find my way in a world where I trust no-one, but God! And I don't trust myself either anymore because of what I keep getting from people around me! God be with you! Amen

[@boliviandimples]

That was beautifully said, thank you

[@slm2021]

The best thing about Jordan and others is that I have learned is I have been validated for my experiences. So , yes, I have been playing a role in all this trauma. That sucks the most!

[@reflectonthings3008]

@@slm2021 you said it so clearly in a very few words,things we don’t think we can even explain in a 1000 page book 👍👍

[@slm2021]

@@reflectonthings3008 Thank you for your support.

[@nawaidsaify938]

It was a pleasure watching him in Adelaide, South Australia. This was a great event, he defines the true meaning of social construct of the society in general and that's remarkable!❤️

[@susanwalker7105]

I heard his response to the anonymous question..that scenario happened to me...20+years ago....still walking thru and trying to grasp the impact....alone...this was the first person that I've ever heard fully explain the emotiion(s) involved in the raw depth of betrayal in a loving? partnered? relationship....powerul.

[@theoracle5265]

In light of The Depth of The Analysis to whom ever you are, Get as far away as you can from the monster who betrayed you , discover what is lacking in you fix it learn to love yourself fully respect yourself fully and your love for her or him will vanish away because they are rotten to the core!

[@MrsCherryDarling]

The worst atrocity that mankind is capable of is to betray love and him/herself. Such betrayal is to experience death firsthand. To die and be reborn in Christ is truly the only source of illumination through the darkness. Dr. Jordan Peterson, you are an inspiration to the world. Love is a beautiful gift, may those suffering not lose hope but gain strength and resilience. Humankind is imperfect and we all have the capacity to create a living hell. Forgiveness and courage is the key to peace. 🤍

[@Mike__G]

Forgiveness is critical. No matter ow badly you’ve been wronged. But forgiving is not pretending that the wrong was not done or that it was OK. Consider, too, that forgiveness and reconciliation are two entirely different things.

[@jnaz3thirty1]

Says who ?

[@Mike__G]

@@jnaz3thirty1 Says me. Been there, done that. Forgiveness actually frees the offended person more than the offender. For one thing, the offender may not give a rip if you forgive him or not, but you’ll be even more miserable holding on to past wrongs, living with resentment, seething with a desire for payback. Not forgiving can seriously affect your quality of life and destroy your peace and happiness. But, if you so choose, sure. Go down that road. Just be aware of the potential impact on your own life.

[@dailyambientandsoothingmus687]

@@Mike__G how do you forgive someone who cheated 3x in our 20 years marriage.. Every affairs he had was long term! Hes never sorry and said I made him do it etc.. always the victim. I hate him w/ a passion but I need to forgive but don't know how.

[@Mike__G]

@@dailyambientandsoothingmus687 I feel so sad for you. There are few things in life more painful than what you’re going through. I know nothing about your situation, but I suspect that you need to do your best to put some distance between yourself and the one who has hurt you so badly. You are clearly grieving and this is very tough to go through. I found great solace in my faith and would encourage you to do the same if you can. I was surrounded by good people who loved me through my own journey. That said, if you face into the pain, as tough as it is, and ride it out you can come out the other end, surely not without some emotional scars, but much better off than you are now. I would think that looking after your own emotional health should be a priority, keeping in the back of your mind that forgiveness needs to be addressed eventually. It might become somewhat easier once you’ve regained some dignity and recovered some self-esteem (these things take a pretty severe beating when we’re betrayed). I don’t know if you’re in Canada or the States, but there’s an excellent program that some churches run called ‘Divorce Care’ that can provide very good guidance in navigating these turbulent waters. I pray that God will bless you and heal you as He did me.

[@ALPHONSO_NANOOK]

Dr. Jordan's first facial expression after the initial question demonstrates how compassionate and sensitive he is and how much empathy he has for the emotional pain and suffering of others.

[@stefanveres7742]

this was such a deep and wise answer, that even from the aesthetic point of view it is a masterpiece. A masterpiece that only "Great masters" are capable of.

[@phasespace4700]

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 You're serious, aren't you?

[@spev7397]

Ride harder, lil bro

[@SaryMag]

I got the privilege of going to his show last month…his wife was so pleasing to the ear, his lecture was amazing….thank you god for this man & his wisdom!!

[@gclarke1236]

He has so accurately and eloquently described my current situation. Only when you truly realise the magnitude of the problem, which he explains so well here, can you make a decision which way you need to go.

[@He_Never_Quits]

Sorry to hear you’re in that rotten place. But, given the current set of facts at your disposal, what’s the best way to proceed? Set your sights on the highest aim you can muster, one that makes all the suffering worth it in the end and move towards that. Thank you for sharing!

[@thefletchlife7837]

I was married to a beautiful woman, we both brought childhood trauma into our marriage. There were no drugs, I ran my own company and for the most part we good together. However, I had some trust issues which seemed from primary care givers perpetrating abuse, she had much the same but was diagnosed with BPD. When Jordan speaks it is as if he has just listened to me open up for hours. I assume this reflects his years of clinical work and intuition. He really makes you dig in and get the ugly work done, leaving the inner self nowhere to hide. As uncomfortable as it is, I'm thankful he takes the time to do these talks. Hang in their everyone, it is doable.

[@rickpederson1219]

Jordan you truly are gifted, an Master with your insight and words beyond what most psychologist have . You force a person to look deep into themselves. I have walked down this road myself 14 years again and the marriage was destroyed, but this talk open up so many areas never dealt with.

[@colleenshea2293]

Thank you for making it clear that this is a complex problem (so many make light of these issues).

[@angieash9560]

Has been the story of my life for the last three years dealing with that our whole marriage I tried to convince him to go to marriage counseling, and he refused until the last affair I caught him in which I didn’t catch him. I just couldn’t take it anymore. So much to face and four years later I still love him. And the very vicious 30 years of loving someone while trying to figure out what is wrong in the relationship, and then finally saying the truth revealed in your heart, knowing you can’t do it anymore and then being alone for the first time.

[@He_Never_Quits]

Hey Angie. Thank you for sharing. I’m saddened by what you’re going through. Let me tell you why. I’ve been there. But you know what, you’re making the journey. It’s the proper road to travel. There are many archetypal stories where someone escapes tyranny and goes to the desert and not directly to the promised land. It’s the out of Egypt and into the desert for 40 years story. It’s the archetypal storyline for many movies. Band of Brothers is the same storyline. Under a tyrant, escape him to only land in hell and they make the heroes journey out. You’re doing the same thing. The Bible principal of being in the desert wondering around (being alone) is you’re figuring things out. You may feel lost but what do you do when you wonder around? You think. You have that conversation in your head. You sort yourself out, if a person has any sense about them they do. Gosh, you just escaped a tyranny that in part you participated in for 30 years. There’s a lot to learn from that. But the important thing is this Angie, what does it mean? What does all of that mean to you exactly? You don’t have tell me, it’s the question you need to be asking yourself. What does it mean? Because meaning has implications for action in the world. When I studied Artificial Intelligence and psychology we know that ethics proceeds perception. (There’s a video of Dr. Peterson on perception in my playlist, view it please) we see the world through a lens of our ethics. physiologically, we see the world through the lens of our Reticular Activating System (RAS). It organizes existence into three categories. 1. Tools and that which would be helpful in obtaining your goal or aim. 2. Impediments or obstacles that could prevent you from obtaining your aim or goal. 3. The rest of the universe is placed here. Irrelevant. Everything not classified under 1 & 2 will remain here unless it becomes anomalous or novel information to you. At which time you’d rapidly discern if it’s helpful or an obstacle or return to category 3, it should remain irrelevant. See the Dan Simmons Gorilla Experiment video. It’s on KZbin. Our aim shapes our perception. That’s why it’s important to know exactly what you’re aiming for Angie. Seems like you’ve been through the tyranny. Everyone goes through the desert. Set your aim for the promised land. You’ve got this. 🙌 one last thing, cleanse your life of all lies, the best you can. Don’t speak them. Don’t repeat them. Don’t participate in a lie, yours or anyone else’s. This is important. Life is hard. It’s harder if you don’t have a strong grip on reality. I lie is not reality. It’s not. When you have a strong grip on reality, you’re more formidable in this world. And that is reality. Apart from Truth we can do nothing that lasts and nobody gets to Wisdom but through Truth. 💪

[@FriendofDorothy]

There was this wonderful singing group I fell in love with as a kid. Their records made me snap my fingers, bop around my kid-bedroom, and dance spontaneously. Segue to my retirement in the 2020s. I actually began listening to and Googling the lyrics to this group's songs. I realized for the first time how incredibly SAD many of this group's songs were, and many are about betrayal, neglect, (possibly unhealthy)romantic attachment, and stone cold abandonment. The group was The Supremes. The lyrics alone speak loud and clear: "now he's back in my arms again"; "Please come see about me"; Stop! in the name of love; My world is empty without you; I keep falling in and out of love; reflections of the way life used to be/reflections of the love you took from me... Every one of these songs is ingrained in American popular music. Betrayal is as all-American as apple pie. Another betrayal song by a great American artist was "Who is He and What is He to You" by Bill Withers; it nearly gives one chills. No wonder three quarters of the younger people in my apartment complex are navigating life on their own without "romance".

[@He_Never_Quits]

Thank you Steven for posting. It was an enjoyable read. I understand your point. Often, artists and musicians express what they’ve experienced through their medium. In the late 70’s, infidelity ran rampant, like it is now. Your observation is interesting. There are equally as many songs that espoused Faithfulness / fidelity. Such as Journey’s Faithfully. I love that song. There’s no shortage of men who have sang about how she is THE one. There are also many reasons why people of all ages are pulling away from relationships. This is one of them but equally to blame is electronics, the lack of human contact as children (because they’re on electronics) leads to a lack of social skills needed to start and maintain healthy relationships. We learn how to to that as children and in the home. Fractured marriages impact this as well because the home social model is broken. There are many reasons and life is complex. Yes, music plays a part in our life akin to a religious experience. We know this scientifically. Scripture espouse keeping a song in our heart and on our lips. I wouldn’t indulge too much in negative music. It affects us more than we know.

[@ASLInterpreterSHansen]

Regarding rage being asuaged. One of the most powerful ways, outside of and along side of miraculous healing, is the faith and trust in God to deal justly with each of us as our Maker. Nothing excapes the mesh of God. And that gives you peace and rest because that burden is no longer yours.

[@ChineduEnyindah]

... "I'm just laying down the potential landscape" How profound!

[@JurOz1980]

My wife cheated on me with my best friend years ago and confessed. Its really been a struggle and not as much towards my wife that is caring the most blame but she really got her life together, stopped drugs, kicked out all the bad friends and found god. I can see she was really in a bad place and have changed and still is improving. I really hope she wont ever do it again but the situation that caused is luckily gone. But for my best friend he really played me. I even asked him for help when my wife was on drugs but what he did was taking advantage of it and even give her drugs. I knew him my entire life and i was 40 when it happened. I have talk with him a couple of times after it but what comes out his mouth and what he does doesn’t align. Its to bad for him he doesn’t get it. Thanks Jordan, you helped us a lot with this by giving rules and guidance

[@He_Never_Quits]

Thank you for sharing Jurjan. I’d like to congratulate your wife for straightening herself out. That’s not easy and she did it. Undoubtedly she’s not the same person who betrayed you. Now…your “friend” though…that’s a deep betrayal. An encounter with someone like that is something you will never forget. People are like that, obviously, and worse. Hopefully you’ve learned a few things about keeping friends and the levels of discernment needed when dealing with friends. I’m inspired by your wife getting herself together. That’s how it should go. Even if you two didn’t stay together, getting herself together was the right thing for her to do. I’m sure she hopes she had done it a little sooner. Can’t change that. She did what she could do to change. What more can you ask for? A time machine? Thank you for sharing! Please subscribe if you find the channel helpful as it leads others here too!

[@studiomonster-c9l]

Idk man I would have ditched her.

[@mitchvalentine9988]

You found out your wife slept with your “best friend” and you decided to stay married? Both of the people who you’re closest to, betrayed you. I wouldn’t be able to trust either of them ever again, I would have retained a lawyer and filed for divorce. If they’ve cheated once, they’ll do it again

[@He_Never_Quits]

@@mitchvalentine9988 seems like a perfectly reasonable course of action.

[@He_Never_Quits]

Getting divorced that is…

[@milindvartak3615]

Wow. What an amazing talk and to throw so much light on many related aspects too. Bravo JP 👏 👏

[@susansherman9929]

Wow….having divorced from a man who was a blatant cheater…this was powerful. 7 years later I am still unable to trust. The pain is real.

[@He_Never_Quits]

Thank you for sharing Susan. Sounds like you’ve definitely made a trip to “the underworld” known also as hell. Something I did that helped was asked myself the hard questions. Nobody forced me to marry. I chose that person. So what was it about me that was attracted to that person and chose that person as a life long mate? Arguably one of the single most important choices we make in life. Was I blind to the issues? Or did I ignore my conscience when potential flags arose? Or was I totally blind? And if I am totally blind to something like a betrayal, what else am I blind to? Or willfully blind to? Have I misjudged others? Have I misjudged myself? How’s my own relationship with Truth? Was the foundation of the relationship built on a lie? For example, two people who start dating each other but neither’s divorce from their previous marriages are complete…That would be starting a relationship on a lie, even if there’s complete knowledge that neither are divorced yet. The foundation of a relationship has to be built on Truth. Has to be. Otherwise it will not last. How much do we want others to truly know us? It’s not like anyone opens up their closets on the first date and starts parading their skeletons they’ve worked hard for years to burry. That stuff comes out much later, typically. Truthful dialogue is the the best way to lay a sold foundation to your relationship. Full disclosure, so both of you have a better idea on what you’re getting into. People resist that idea and it’s understandable. Who wants to tell a love interest they were molested as a kid? One may ask what bearing that may have on a relationship as an adult and it could have a lot more impact than one would think. How a person has dealt with such a thing matters or if they’ve dealt with it all all. There’s a good portion of the population who just throw that skeleton in the closet and since it’s often the first thing into ones closet, it gets buried over time. The proper thing to do is go where we least want to go in our psyche. Enter the forest at its darkest place, so to speak. There’s information in those events that are crucial to work out in order to calm our limbic system. If not sorted out, they can lead to many issues. Such as a woman who was molested by her father, later at age 38, sleeps with her 17 year old step son who’s she’s helped raise with 50/50 custody since the boy was 6. 🧐 That one I know of personally. You’re always going to have pain regarding that relationship until you deep dive into it and sort it out and I mean go back to how you met. Now, for you haters out there because I get a few of those who don’t like Dr. Peterson, maybe Susan has sorted through all this, I do not know. However, I would assume that if she divorced a blatant cheater 7 years ago and she’s still in able to trust… and for people who have made the trip referred to as the dark night of the soul, typically mention such a journey and transformation in their comment. But I do not know and I apologize for assuming Susan. What I said still stands for all of us. Please allow me to explain…I’ll lay out an analogy. We can say our limbic system is riding “Shotgun” with us in our head (although it’s really throughout our nervous system) but it’s riding shotgun. Does anyone know where that term derived from? Hint: it’s not I get to ride in the car next to you. Think older. Horse drawn stagecoaches were documented to have been robbed in America from 1856 to 1913. During such time men with a shotgun were assigned to ride next to the driver as security. Hence, riding next to the drive is riding “shotgun” because the security of the coach was the primary responsibility in that act of riding the coach and the shotgun was the means to enforce it. Our limbic system is riding shotgun with us. Let that sink in for a minute. 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 When we encounter unexpected danger or in modern days it’s most likely to be problems such as a partner who’s betrayed us. And we will use betrayal because that’s on topic to this video. When we encounter betrayal from our mate we process that information with the same neural circuitry as our “snake detection circuitry” as Dr. Peterson would call it. (I have several other videos in this playlist on this in particular) So it’s not like you find out you’ve been betrayed and then you decide I’m going to treat this person like an enemy, no, we process the information that we’ve been betrayed on the same circuitry as the one we detect predators with. That is the case. And that would be the same circuitry you’d use to identify something that could eat you like a Great White shark or grizzly bear. Same circuitry. Now, if we’ve had an encounter with something dangerous, something unexpected that we didn’t anticipate or want, something that caused us distress and we didn’t properly sort through what happened and properly identify what happened and how we’re going to avoid such a thing in the future or how we’re going to deal with such a thing should we encounter it in the future in such an efficient way it’s mitigated, if we haven’t done that deep dive…we’ll then our limbic system who’s riding shotgun, you remember him right? The one who rides shotgun rides next to the driver because they are responsible for security of the coach. Our limbic system is riding shotgun with us. As Dr. Peterson says, if we have a memory that’s older than 18 months old and there’s still painful memories correlated with that memory then you probably have to go back in your mind and unpack that memory. There’s information there you need to process. Bad memories come as a result of our limbic system, who’s riding shotgun, trying to get us to do our homework and sort through this memory because we encountered something that hurt us and we didn’t properly learn from it and it could hurt us again. Once we learn what we need to learn, that bad memory calms down. It’s like our limbic system is saying “HEY 👋 DUMMY! You hurt us by XY&Z AND you didn’t sort through that properly and the likelihood of that happening again is fairly HIGH so why don’t we unpack that situation, learn from it so that we can avoid it all together in the future or we have an answer or plan should we encounter it in the future?” And we ignore that voice. Well…that doesn’t work. The limbic system just says “Oh, okay, you want to play it that way and ignore me? Fine. I’ll just amp up this message via nightmares and full on PTSD.” And that’s what it does. Our limbic system gives us bad memories so that we can learn from them. Our limbic system keeps us safe, it’s riding shotgun. Listen to it. Susan, not trusting people is an answer to the problem. Is it the best answer? 🤷🏻‍♂️ I can’t say. I can say I enjoy being trusted as do most people. Probably you too. Perhaps you’re braver than you think and you have the courage and discernment to find Your Person should you decide that’s what’s best for you. I do appreciate your sharing and I hope that was semi coherent, I had some interruptions throughout that. My apologies. I do try to be alone when I respond on this channel. My work thought makes me available to support those who have lost a loved one in uniform. I support Survivors and am on contract 24/7 to support Survivors. So they’re the exception.

[@TheMisssy2]

Unfortunately, I have to face it is over. This man is amazing....even thou it hurts.

[@tradingview-jt8cl]

It is all true - It took me over 10 years to heal and regain my former self .. I was bloody naive .. you need to be eyes wide open .. Love is not enough

[@missyballard5866]

That is profound on so many levels . Thank you for the thoughtful analysis!

[@He_Never_Quits]

You’re welcome Missy! Please subscribe if you find it helpful as it helps others find the videos due to the algorithm. Thank you Missy!

[@vickiv.v.615]

Betrayal is a forge that transforms the betrayed.

[@He_Never_Quits]

Yes. Well said.

[@D1C2]

@Vicki V. V. "Betrayal is a forge that transforms the betrayed..." but never the betrayers. They had it in them all the time, they only show their true colors. And even that is only when they are caught, otherwise they could continue to play the saint without worry....

[@He_Never_Quits]

@@D1C2 read Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky. Then you’ll understand that nobody ever truly gets away with anything. Because it changes the person committing the transgression. They don’t get away with it unscathed. It may appear that way but that’s just the appearance. And that’s different than saying they weren’t punished in the way I think they should be punished in. That’s a different concept.

[@D1C2]

@@He_Never_Quits I had already read it in my adolescence. I had not yet met NPD/narcissistic people, or at least I was not aware of their existence. Apparently, Dostoevsky didn't know them either. They can kill someone and sleep like a baby, and if you ask them, they say it's the victim's fault. I have read also about mobsters who have killed many people and yet they swear in firm conviction that they are the best people in the world. Dostoevsky's punishment simply does not work for all people, it does only for those not deranged.

[@He_Never_Quits]

@@D1C2 yes those people exist but their such a small minority in the population the odds of you being with one are slim. It doesn’t mean you weren’t with one because obviously that happens. But typically it’s a fatal miscalculation to cross paths with the type of person you’re describing. By definition. 👍

[@KristopherWilliams_tahmson]

Excellent as always. I was fortunate enough to see him in November when he came to Phoenix. It was surreal.

[@maureencrosby]

My situation was I chose a man who went on to have sexual encounters throughout our 34 year marriage with four kids.After I told him I had lost my love for him and I thought I couldn’t get it back I left the marriage and worked on myself to discover why had I been a door mat and been lied to directly to my face.My childhood sexual abuse had programmed into my psyche that I would chose a husband who would be a liar cheater so I could keep giving myself that feeling of abuse in another form.It took a long time to fight the strong desire to go back to him as I knew nothing but that feeling and life of being abused a well worn groove.I’m 63 and now divorced have been on my own since and living in a new town.Now I’m discovering how to live and learning how to have fun which is very difficult thing to learn but I’m happy and I have a powerful force I have discovered called freedom. That is truely more wonderful then all the riches in the world . But to stand by the river and watch the geese flying past with my dog is the best therapy in the world.

[@susandrydenhenderson6234]

The best possible understanding and advice! I wish I’d heard this when I was young.

[@jeffreydurrance5400]

Just this week , my trust was betrayed by an intimate friend. It involved unauthorized use of a credit card, therefore no denying the intent. Dr Peterson's description of borderline personality describes her(smart) and reason for her flagrant act of betrayal. Luckily I just blocked her out of my life but I'm left having to deal with all the mental fallout.

[@ronmaest]

You’ll obviously be better off without her.

[@loveswintertrees]

People would have more confidence answering these questions if they remembered that 1. They are worth loving (by more than this one person) and 2. Dissolution or retainment of a relationship is not the barometer for life success and happiness.

[@He_Never_Quits]

True!

[@Ohhhoneyyy]

I love how he thinks so deeply before answering. He’s so amazing . I know the lords proud of him 🥹

[@jeffgomall8509]

Thank you JP for this!!

[@ASLInterpreterSHansen]

Thanks so much for posting this video. What I always cherish about your messages is the profound depth of your compassion for your listener and the recognition of the complexity of the inner world. And the power of courage in the face of overwhelming pain as a path forward to life with integrity.

[@jaypatel3444]

This was in Adelaide, I attended the show and it was a Masterpiece... ❤

[@awomansstory.2019]

My husband cheated for 1 year with his married coworker. I discovered his betrayal, his affair, while on our family's vacation. I was blindsided.

[@grandexporter]

... Sorry to hear that.

[@lancedukel3436]

Check out chump lady

[@He_Never_Quits]

Betray is the lowest level of hell. I hope you’ve sorted that mess out. It’s not fun.

[@Harmonious-jm3sy]

Sorry, I was married to a cheating lying wife for years. Can’t change them. Pure human garbage.

[@Riklott1111]

I hope you found the courage to leave him

[@antoniogonzales2420]

This man is a genius

[@phasespace4700]

Yeah..him and Kid Rock. 😂

[@catherinerishworth963]

I consider this to be the best video of the 21st Century...

[@losangelesbassist]

'Fundamentally and malevolently unreliable'. THE END.

[@ScottCommon632]

Limit, betrayal / divorce by committing to a three year minimum engagement. Do not have sex during this time: go old school romantic. Premarital sex distorts and is not necessary for a self controlled, wise, high quality person. Can’t hide character flaws for three years: you’ll get to discover how they handle obstacles disagreements and arguments. Next get the top 10 books on marriage, read them together and discuss every chapter during that three year period. Lastly, listen carefully to your gut, and more importantly to the people you care most about that know you and care for you - and get their advice! Do not go into union alone with your own singular view.

[@He_Never_Quits]

Interesting advice. Do you believe most people currently have enough discipline to do this? Dr. Jordan Peterson says nearly the opposite. You need to go all in and go all in quick. The point is, it’s marriage. There’s VOWS! YOU DO NOT GET TO QUIT. You’re in this together! So unless you want to be miserable for 50 years, you’ll figure it out and sooner rather than later! Nobody is perfect. In three years you’ll find more than enough “flaws” with your partner and they’ll sure in the hell see your flaws! So no, I’m not buying it. It’s commitment to another broken person just like you are and there’s no quitting. We’re in the life together, you and I and we’re sure going to do everything we can to figure this out. Including letting go of things we don’t want to let go of… Get married. Do it early in a relationship. But when you do, that’s it. You don’t get to quit. That’s how a marriage works. And you sure in the hell don’t get to cheat.

[@tongpoo8985]

Got any book recs?

[@ScottCommon632]

@@tongpoo8985 Relationships, a mess worth making - by Paul Tripp. What did you expect : redeeming the realities of marriage - by Paul Tripp. The complete husband - by Lou Priolo. These are the top three for anyone interested in glorifying and seeking God’s blessings and face before they meet Him.

[@HeartFireSessions]

In my first marriage, we did that. There was no sex before marriage. This allowed my ex to hide massive sexual disfunction and a porn addiction. It did NOT help in my situation. It would have been better to know my sex life with him would never be satisfying for either of us before we said “I do”.

[@He_Never_Quits]

@@HeartFireSessions Thank you Krista for sharing. And you make my point to an early reply of mine to another person on this thread. Dr. Peterson recommends going ALL in soon in a relationship but the caveat he says is we don’t get to quit. He says I get to know everything about you and you get to know everything about me and we can’t quit, so we better figure this out together or we’re going to be miserable for decades. That’s how it used to be done. A vow taken in front of family and friends meant you can’t break your vow except in the most extreme circumstances. I’ve taught if you can’t talk about it (sex & sex acts, preferences, positions, etc) maybe you shouldn’t be doing it. If you’re going to engage in adult behavior, ensure you and your partner can have ADULT conversations based in raw truth. Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty! We need more of that!

[@srae911austin]

I wished I had a therapist like Dr. Peterson when my ex betrayed me and our marriage. That betrayal has effected my entire life and I will never trust anyone ever again. The depth of the pain was too great and no one will ever hurt me like that again. It is possible to be single and happy once you get thru the pain and work on yourself. I thank God for getting me thru the pain and where I am today in my life. Without God it's impossible to heal.

[@He_Never_Quits]

Thank you for sharing something that’s impacted your life like this has. I pray that you can trust once again. I don’t know many people who wants to be friends with someone who doesn’t trust them. You definitely have your reasons for not wanting to get hurt again. There’s a million ways we get hurt in life. The Christian belief is “Life Is Suffering” and Christ represents those among us who are as innocent as can be who’s wrongly accused by his best friend mobbed by angry bitter resentful people, wrongly accused, beaten in the most horrific of ways, crucified naked in public - Crucifixion by the way was the Romans worst form of torture, so tortured in the worst possible way and in that very moment, extend Grace to the self admitted criminal next to Him. I believe you may need to unpack that story a little dear😊 I believe there’s meaning in there for you and it’s God (Wisdom) that speaks through us when we listen to our conscience and remain guided by Truth (Jesus). Another cool translation is Jesus = Truth and God = Wisdom. So without God it’s impossible to heal. Yes. Without the Creator of our universe…And/Or Wisdom? Or to say Without Wisdom it’s impossible to heal? Apart from the Truth we can do nothing that lasts and nobody gets to Wisdom but through Truth. ✝️👍

[@BlueskyDenver]

Being cheated on is betrayal like no other. I don’t think even a therapist can help you repair your broken heart, or repair the damage done. Once the trust is gone , and betrayal has happened over and over again, you second guess yourself and your worth and value, you are suspicious and doubtful. My friend is with someone who cheated on her, they fight, they argue, they see a therapist, they scream at each other , they curse and throw shit around. Well and she goes to his house unannounced because she is afraid every time he doesn’t answer his phone that he is in bed with someone else. Well that’s the type of dynamics they have. I see her and she is not happy., she is drained and she is very stressed out. But she stays so she is actually contributing to her own abuse at this point. You have no control over anyone else. Your point of power is in you putting yourself first and leaving people who are abusive and disrespectful. If you stay and endure that teaches the person who betrays you over and over that there are no consequences for their poor behavior.

[@chadm11]

God + therapist has better probability. It is possible. ONLY if the adulter is truly remorseful and does everything to ease the pain they've caused. Run away if you receive anything less

[@cajuncrackerranch7990]

Thank you 🙏 Dr. Peterson. I needed to hear this today.

[@Yana-it6bt]

Appreciate, that the word catastrophy has been said. Thank you Dr J. Peterson. The underestimation of the betrayal nowadays is scary.

[@ottovonwallace830]

Whoever asked that question has a long road ahead of them. They will have to push themselves, hard, just to get beyond what they're feeling now. It does take a big set of balls to continue but tomorrow is a new day.

[@andreapring3761]

Both my husbands cheated. Me, never. But the knowledge did not destroy me. In a long marriage passion dies and a yearning to feel some of that excitement again is not unnatural. I forgave him and I was grateful that I was unaware it was going on. When the second husband left the marriage then I felt betrayed. Everything we had worked for and the lifestyle we had achieved in our 60s was taken away and I had no say in the matter. People get way too worked up about affairs because they’re told fidelity is everything. Yes you must protect against STDs and you run a huge risk of the other person destroying your family out of spite. But you can’t deny human nature and few marriages are blissful. This is going to illicit a ton of sanctimonious outrage but be pragmatic, understand, forgive and then decide if you must end the relationship. My husband left and was promptly dumped by his lover. We didn’t reconcile because both of us realised we were happier apart. When I discovered the big house and all of that wasn’t half as important as living a contented life alone, I was fine. Honestly why cheat if everything at home is wonderful? You’re just an idiot if you do so don’t do it if there’s a chance it’s going to wreck your wife/husband and children’s lives. That I would find unforgivable. Divorce if life is untenable - there are plenty of crazies out there - but you owe your children a stable upbringing if at all possible. Throughout history there were many successful marriages where infidelity was involved. In certain cultures it was accepted as the norm. Usually I agree with Peterson but my answer on this occasion would have been very different.

[@MrHeimes]

What a master of thought

[@amberklein1560]

Thank you for asking the question. The answer was needed.

[@He_Never_Quits]

You’re welcome Amber!

[@juiceknot]

🙏🏾Thank you Dr Jordan, I left room for Gods wrath for both of her betrayals. God WILL repay

[@leesaiga1785]

That is so spot on. I personally have had to deal with someone who chooses to pretend nothing happened. That is so... mean, and cheap, and cowardly... No excuse from her. Not even a regret. I think it's even worse than the cheating itself. I have been boiling with rage for 10 years. But decided to stay because of our child. So even after all this time, my wife is yet to bear the consequences of her behavior and her actions. To this day I can tell she's learned almost nothing. So little is she aware of what she's done, she has even been indulging on making up excuses to turn the blame on me. A very feminine thing to do it seems, if there's ever been one...

[@ST-Vidz]

Its is feminine thing to do. Blame all the issues on the man.

[@Hawkster9133]

Wow really? I've been with several guys who cheated on me and didn't bear an ounce of responsibility or even show emotion for that betrayal and even tried to manipulate me into thinking that I had caused it. Some women are absolute witches but let's not pretend that some men don't act like this too. To the original commentor: that really sucks, I'm sorry you're going through that.

[@lauramorgan27]

Take your child and leave.

[@lauramorgan27]

@@ST-Vidz No, it's a narcissistic/sociopathic thing to do.

[@marianne8440]

I know your pain. Its awful and I will be praying for you ❤

[@tazzywazzy7599]

Confess and REPENT, then forgiveness is on the table.

[@chadm11]

Most definitely

[@stevenkampmann9680]

That's what happened to me and it took a few years to come full circle, the hardest thing I've ever done!!

[@micheleagren1604]

That is exactly how betrayal works. I have to change all day, every day. It was brutal, just as he described. I encountered malevolence.

[@He_Never_Quits]

You made the Hero’s journey Michele! You were traveling along and all of a sudden you were in hell and you fought your way back, changing yourself daily! 💪🙌 Thank you for sharing!

[@He_Never_Quits]

Any tips?

[@micheleagren1604]

@@He_Never_Quitswork on how to find out about who I truly am, what was the unvarnished truth, followed by excruciating work on myself. The light on the other side is bright.

[@He_Never_Quits]

@@micheleagren1604 I don’t believe many people go through that sort of change. I’ve gone through it and it sounds like you have too. But I believe many don’t. I wish I was taught this when I was young or had gone the hard work of tearing oneself down to the bare Truth then building oneself back up. It’s the journey of a lifetime. We can’t change others, we can only change ourselves, therefore we can change the world. And we all know just how hard it is to change ourselves. But we expect others to do it instantly. The proper way of being is to first remove the LOG from our own eye, BEFORE pointing out the splinter in our brothers eye. Reconciling oneself completely with Truth is how the log is removed. Reconciling oneself to Truth and seeking Wisdom in all the aims / goals you set. Essentially making your “God” or “that which you hold the highest” Truth & Wisdom. You certainly wouldn’t choose the “Lie & Stupidity” as your “god.” And isn’t it interesting that in Scripture, Jesus says he IS Truth. And wouldn’t the Creator of the universe ACTUALLY be the Wisest entity that we could perceive? So God would be Wisdom Manifested. I believe our way out of this mess we’ve worked ourselves into as a species is to have what Christians would call a revival but not exactly. I don’t believe people in mass are going back to church and learning the psychological operating system we’ve built Western culture on -> Actual Biblical principles. I’m not advocating for people to go back to church, although it would be helpful if they learned Biblical principles. But we’ve differed on what scripture means…hence all the different denominations of churches in Christianity. But. But, if you reconcile your life with Truth and seek Wisdom and seriously hold to those like your life depended upon it, you would probably be acting out more Christian behaviors than many of the “Christians” today. And you don’t even have to be a Christian. Bill Mahar who’s not a Christian is,or was, embedded in a Juda-Christian culture. You can’t remove yourself from the belief system that drives your culture completely. Even if you moved to the mountains to live in isolation, you can’t remove yourself from your culture. You see in a Western Juda-Christian culture it’s illegal to go up to the mountains where that one person is all alone and murder them and take their things. We have laws here that are predicated on the Ten Commandments. So we’re embedded in our culture. I believe it’s of utmost importance every one of us reconcile ourselves to Truth and seek Wisdom. Hell is coming to the US and globally. Dig the well before you’re thirsty and being Truthful and seeking Wisdom is a game you can play that will make you content in nearly any and all situations. It will certainly be a challenge and an adventure. I’m happy for you and appreciate your effort, hard work and suffering. The world is a better place for it. We need more people to do it. Have a good night and thank you for sharing. 😊 Please Subscribe if you think this is helpful, entertaining, BS, humorous or insane. I’m not picky 😊 Thanks Michele!

[@carmenkamberos1156]

Me. Jordan Peterson, that was a magnificent exposition of betrayal!!!! How deep can these feelings be!

[@KD400_]

The Peterson's have the best example of a marriage if everyone had a marriage like them then everything would be good in society

[@hankhill3417]

No going back after betrayal!!! It’s worse than murder. In Dante inferno. Betrayers are at the bottom level of hell in satans mouth. Cassius, Brutus, Judas.

[@He_Never_Quits]

Yes betrayal is at the bottom. The line between good and evil runs down the center of every human heart, it’s been said. The trick is for us not to do it to others, as it’s been done to us. Hold the high ground. Cling to Truth. Seek Wisdom. Apart from Truth we do nothing that lasts and nobody gets to Wisdom but through Truth.

[@tspfl9073]

What fascinates me is the contrast between Jordan's deeply emotional comments and psychotherapist Esther Perel's bohemian view toward fidelity which summed up is " people just weren't meant to have these long term relationships". Jordan is still married, Esther is on her 2nd, both being about the same age.

[@He_Never_Quits]

I’d be careful with the phrase “some people weren’t meant to” it implies the universe is already laid out and determined and we’re meant to X and not another or that some personalities “aren’t meant to” is equally misleading. Staying in a relationship is a choice. It’s a choice two people make over and over again. Sometimes numerous times a day. You don’t get to quit once you’ve made the vow in front of family and friends. We’ve laid out here infidelity is nearly impossible to come back from in a relationship and is almost smarter to scrap the whole thing. One reason why it’s important not to cheat. But those who’ve had long marriages, the majority would say they just didn’t quit. It’s not like they didn’t have reason to. Thank you for participating in the discussion! Good points! Interesting take on the contrast!

[@emmjohn714]

He is here for such a time as this.

[@alicassidy8913]

Jordan is describing me as the naive one. My boyfriend and both my best friends were all sleeping together. After I figured it out, I realized my part in it but have never been able to trust again.

[@He_Never_Quits]

I could see how something like that can destroy your willingness to trust again. Betrayal is the lowest form of hell. I’m sorry you had to experience that. I appreciate you sharing Ali. How did you start to put your life back together?

[@JurOz1980]

I’m also sorry for you. I hope you do get over it and maybe find someone to love again. Not everyone is the same. Good luck and i praying for you

[@auau4468]

Thank you so much 💓 Dr Peterson. Profound and beautiful explanation. ❣️

[@atta1798]

Mr Peterson is a gentleman.....with opening the bottle for her as a host....that tells you how beautiful his parents n family

[@mjeff4106]

This is profoundly deep! It'll take true humility and introspection for two individuals to mature, grow, heal, and reestablish trust and a bond to cultivate a deeply meaningful marriage. 🙏

[@richardrosebealprestonjohn3144]

Spot on! Sorry! No going back!

[@gargikulkarni8764]

So many important points. And even for the betrayed person he is thinking what he said and what he asked for and then started off with his answer. It's clear that how much efforts are required in such situations. People don't even have the potential to think in that direction. 🙄 to understand the level of wounds and work on it is way too far for them. Think they can get away easily 🤔 😌

[@nowaynoway915]

I’m going through it. Found out someone I behold the last 4 years with cheated on me. Emotionally spiraling . Some days are better then others. Today isn’t one of those days.

[@He_Never_Quits]

Sorry to hear this. Shrink your time horizon with your aims. In fact, dial in your aims. Despite the terrible circumstances you find yourself in, how can you best proceed in a way that makes all your suffering worth it in the end? What’s the highest possible aim you can muster? Engage in what you find most meaningful. Stay busy - engage in responsibility.

[@nowaynoway915]

@@He_Never_Quits thank you for this ❤️

[@umultme]

. >WALK, AN NEVER LOOK BACK< . ...she don’t want you.., yeah keep walking..

[@oliviapetrinidimonforte6640]

The scariest part is realizing that yes, I can betray, but I would not dare do it. Yet, there are other human beings who can and will betray...so you ask yourself, how can I recognize these traitors?

[@He_Never_Quits]

Maybe some are “traitors” and maybe not. Maybe they’re people who haven’t gotten control over their lives yet. And maybe they’re psychopaths. Who can say? I do love where you say the scariest part is realizing that he’s you are capable of betraying others and that you recognize it’s magnitude by saying you would not dare do it. That’s what people call the fear of God, the beginning of Wisdom. That concept is the same thing. 👍

[@oliviapetrinidimonforte6640]

@@He_Never_Quits thank you for your comment, Joseph. I honestly can't say I fear the Lord. Maybe because I am a Catholic? I simply don't dare out of respect for my own sense of being human.

[@ms.reasonable570]

I love love love J Peterson... I wish I could see him. He's so brilliant.

[@He_Never_Quits]

It’s surreal to talk to him in person. Done it.

[@AAA-iw7he]

im in a part of my life where i qoute that guy so so damn often. and the thing aboutit is that most people i know wont stop raging. im actually aware now how much my whole social life is absolut in the dark about them self. thats hard to realize to me since im rly trying to change for the good for a while now.

[@michaelanthonyhogan8942]

Thank you Jordan. Words of wisdom bringing light and serenity for those in dark times blinding their eyes to the reality of the situation and clouding their judgement. Thank you

[@sophieclinnick95]

Saw him in Brisbane last year it was amazing!

[@warrioroflight6872]

I got scammed by someone online. I'm in the process of awaiting responses from multiple organizations on what can be done about it, but I was so hurt that someone would be so cowardly, pathetic, and selfish that they would lie to others and steal the money that others have worked hard to make just so they could afford a few new video games. I hope that I get to meet this person on judgement day and ask him how he felt about himself for doing that and if he thought it was worth it.

[@boliviandimples]

I'm so sorry that happened. He doesn't even deserve to be in your presence.... I don't know him but these scammers do this for a living, day in & out and for years, a life long, they have no shame, no remorse. Let them believe they got their piece of heaven, for without a broken & contrite heart, he'll be in hell...due to his choice. And yes, they think it's worth it, which is why they do it.

[@aa-ql3gu]

Take care of yourself! They are sh** people. Now it's hard.... you will afford it and you will be more careful about people. You will start to notice behaviors of others that before you didn’t pay so much attention. God bless you!

[@barrym5783]

Sorry to hear your case

[@phasespace4700]

Just don't send any money to Jordan Peterson, con artist extraordinaire.

[@D1C2]

@@phasespace4700 Yet you are here, incresing his audience. That makes you... what? "Deranged extraordinaire"?

[@hope4463]

It happens to all of us. Love dies.

[@Normie2388]

This dude is the best wise uncle ever lol, seriously

[@forall1984]

I was just getting my life started again after being depressed about this world & my life. Then I started getting attacked about my new ways which is God led. I will take them for everything for that, & god will help me. Then I will build a new place of love & peace for all.

[@izawaniek2568]

True, betrayal is a vicious pit to contemplate.

[@maggielinea]

I found out my husband cheated on me recently as well... It is incredibly confusing. He is hitting on so many important points- tough to hear. I do strongly disagree that the person who was cheated on somehow brought it on. Not true. It has nothing to do with the person who got cheated on, it's in a cheater's character. A lot of people are in marriages that struggle or aren't great and they don't cheat.

[@Moluccan56]

He is asked the betrayed person to do some self examination. It is entirely possible that the betrayed one had some quality or lack thereof that caused the betrayer to look outside the marriage. He wants people to be sleuths in the quest for what went wrong so that it doesn’t happen to them again. He said this would be arduous and difficult. It doesn’t help the situation if one party adopts a position of self righteousness.

[@davehighlife40]

I needed to hear this

[@chadm11]

Indeed

[@excellentchoices]

Thank you Dr. Peterson for this ….thank you….