Dr. Michael Brown, FIRE School of Ministry, and my Screwed Up Sexuality

[@mamafortuin]

“You don’t become holy by fighting evil. Let evil be. Look towards Christ and that will save you. What makes a person saintly is love.” - St. Porphyrios

[@HickoryDickory86]

And Jared has a lot of love. You can see it in his eyes and hear it in his voice. I pray he finds the love of Christ again, because I see the makings of a new Seraphim Rose in him. May God grant him grace, peace, and love, and bring him to himself in the fulness of time.

[@mamafortuin]

@ Amen 🙏❤️☦️

[@jacobzhou8239]

Hi Jared, I’m one of your orthodox lurkers! I also went to Wheaton (we apparently have mutuals?) and am all too familiar with the hysterical zeal you described. I highly recommend reading Blessed Seraphim Rose’s “Orthodoxy and the Religion of the Future.” It’s a short read and engaging read, and he talks EXACTLY about your experience-especially the chapters on the Charismatic movement and western attitudes to spirituality. It was a profound paradigm shift for how I understood my past experiences as a fervent Protestant. Christianity is a religion of peace. Its spirituality is ultimately silent. I would love to hear your thoughts on it! Christ is in our midst. Take care ❤

[@dolphinitely_bro3944]

Amazing book! Christ is risen ☦️

[@jacobzhou8239]

@ Indeed He is risen! ☦️

[@themicrohomemaker5568]

And the fact that it talks about UFOs?? Added fun 😆 loved that book

[@dolphinitely_bro3944]

@@themicrohomemaker5568 he was on point, look at the narrative being spun mby media right now lol

[@joeskill4663]

I have to read that book yet ..💥

[@downinthecypressswamp2234]

Thanks Jared. I was athiest for a while and im Orthodox now. I enjoy hearing your story and i understand 100 percent. You are very blessed to have such a good heart. I wish i had as much love, forgiveness, and gratitude as you seem to have for the IFB i was raised in.

[@k_man]

25:38 Sorry man but you're wrong. There are good men and women out there who will stay faithful to their spouses for their entire lives. Don't lose the good that does still exist in humanity.

[@philzosity]

I’m not saying that don’t exist. They are the exception, though. Most will cheat.

[@JoshuaMSOG7]

@@philzosityLook at our culture, our world, most are bound to cheat because of their lack of discipline in things of God and God himself.

[@JoshuaMSOG7]

@27 min in… he says he’s not confident in himself. He feels tortured to SR and hold in, he’s afraid, Christians aren’t afraid. He said he’s never met any Christian who are pure. He doesn’t believe any Christian is thriving. I’m someone who deleted almost all social media, about to delete KZbin but not to deem myself more spiritual or any sort. But because I don’t see the world the same anymore, a lot things are a waste of time and I do believe with God , all things are possible.

[@JamesTheuer-fr1fy]

Heliocentric lore is getting pretty deep - I may need to start a wiki soon

[@cjward_24]

Hey there, just recently found your channel. I'm an evangelical Christian who absolutely still believes in the truth of Jesus and clings to Scripture- but I share a lot of your feelings and criticisms of the church overall. This video was so thought provoking for me. As a recovering porn addict myself, I've been through the shaming from yourself and others, I've felt the hopelessness and defeat, and I've been utterly devastated by how much "just try harder" doesn't work. And I have prayed many times that fear of the aftermath would keep me from doing horrible things. And I do deeply desire (for my own sake and my future wife's, but also out of a desire for holiness) to live in purity and not give into the desires of my flesh. Jesus does call us to self-denial after all. But what I realize- and what so many others seem to fail to understand- is that God has not called us to pursue purity in our own power. We're all too weak to uphold God's standard, and that's the point. Is it WAY easier said than done to "let go and let God" and surrender to His guidance? FRICK YES, and most cliches don't help anyway. But I know that it is He who works in me both to will and to work according to His good pleasure. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, I get it brother. I have also done so much that I am so ashamed of, and repeated offenses because I've failed to remember the aftermath- but the understanding that Jesus has been so kind and gracious and forgiving to me and that His mercy offers me a clean slate, and my deep desire to not just do the right things but to deeply and truly love and adore and enjoy Him... THAT'S what keeps me going. And He hasn't failed me yet. Not necessarily trying to evangelize you at the moment, although I admit I would rejoice greatly if you did return. But I just wanted to comment and thank you for entering into conversations that the Church often silences or shies away from and for making us think and reflect. Your content is much appreciated.

[@jatnielgonzalezledezma2816]

amen, brother!

[@xrx-no7cd]

love this comment!

[@tinas7909]

Wow your story so sad and very eye opening! I was in the Charismatic movement for years as well, but for me I left it and became more focused on the Bible. I got married at 19 and my husband was 20. We have been married for almost 22 years now. I pray one day you will find healing from what all of us in that movement experienced and I am truly sorry you experienced all of that!

[@ICanRideMiBikeWithNoHandleBars]

Jared, I feel like we walked the same path, at two separate times, in two separate places. Everything you shared, nearly verbatim, I have experienced/thought. I too left it all behind, because the experiences I lived caused me to hate it. Hearing your story brought so much of it back up to the surface - reminding me of the pain and confusion it all caused me, and why I walked away from it all. People with our background don’t want to be evangelized. Ever. So I share this not to evangelize you man, but because I found beauty again - the beauty I always sought but never obtained. I recently converted to Eastern Orthodoxy and Christ has been healing my soul - something I prayed for and sought as a hyper-charismatic but never received. I appreciate you sharing and articulating your story. It has helped me and has reminded me of why I am where I am now. Much love man. Hope you have a Merry Christmas with your family/friends. -Mike D

[@LaustibiChriste33]

I found through many years of moral failings that the less I tried to actively combat sin and the more I simply devoted myself to regular and steady prayer that the change began to happen almost imperceptibly. Our focus is often inverted. Instead of "looking unto Jesus our chief shepherd" we turn our gaze inward and ultimately fall. My wife and I have been married for 25 years and we have always been faithful to each other. It is possible, but you have to foster a relationship with Christ rather than constantly turning the spiritual eye inward. The Christian life is a life of peace and joy. Unfortunately we are always looking to yank the chains of our Adamic nature off rather than simply allowing them to fall off instead.

[@jeffchappell3399]

WOW. Now this is Powerful & True

[@mamafortuin]

@@LaustibiChriste33 "You don't become holy by fighting evil. Let evil be. Look towards Christ and that will save you. What makes a person saintly is love." - St. Porphyrios

[@danielcguy]

As someone who went to the Brownsville Revival I can identify with a lot of this. I also was in the Christian Music scene and played a festival with ‘For Today’. Great video brother. God bless you

[@massarassa]

As a Christian I really do love your content. I am so sorry you have been so hurt by the hyper charismatic movement. My heart goes out to you.

[@MrzPicklez]

But… you’re all like that.

[@cancoonjoe8094]

@@MrzPicklez Like what? Such a strange statement.

[@jokerman9623]

​@@MrzPicklezabsolute nonsense. no group is "are all like that"

[@nerile1474]

such a vulnerable and empathetic analysis. It's much appreciated and very thought-provoking. Thank you man

[@davidb2]

Thank you, Jared. This was hard to hear; I can’t imagine how hard it was for you to share. Thanks for being so open. Your humility and vulnerability really helps me look at aspects of my life in ways I never have before, and I know I’m not the only one. Stress less and God bless.

[@kimsland999]

So glad my country don't say God bless nonsense.

[@michaellomax8058]

Thanks!

[@jesseengland456]

Jared, I want to say thank you for sharing your videos with us. I'm a Christian, and I admire your openness and thoughtfulness toward religion. You are so brave for talking about this. You seem like a cool cat. Are you on Goodreads? If so, I would like to add you as a friend on there. Keep your head up, man.

[@Teddjeep]

Same I’m a Christian and I love his channel

[@TheNinjapancake14]

As a Christian myself, I’m appreciating his honesty

[@yeahnothx-e9l]

Deconstructed, attempting to recontruct Christian here, and I also love this channel!

[@naomi9449]

My people. I love these takes because they’re most of my thoughts

[@christophernelson9289]

Hey Jared, I’m one of your exjw subscribers. I really appreciate your content as a whole. Your candid thoughts you share in this video really resonate with me and how I’ve felt at times in my life. I even had the same idea as you about only being able to be pure by surgery or something like that. I remember the hopelessness. I hope you hang on to hope. The best journeys to self discovery start with pain and hard questions. I’m having a great journey now and I believe you will too! Hang in there. It gets better.

[@christinesotelo7655]

I hear you. In the 70’s when it was even more rigid than today, I was JW. I had no idea as a lady, how to cover my knees, even had a “sister” measure the length of skirt before I could be deemed worthy for door-to-door work. Even then, I couldn’t understand how knobby knees could turn on a “worldly”, but thems were the rules! I thought, why would god make knees if we have to be ashamed of them, why couldn’t he joint us like the animals then? So I learned to hate and fear my KNEES!!! Yes, glad I’m out of that stupidity, yet to those just going into it, it’s their Passage and one day they’ll look back at it before they enter a new phase of human Passages. Now I just say, “Whatever”. Or, “I don’t know”. And therein lies the freedom.

[@derekmaverick5986]

lol tbh as a JW I never actually learned anything about other religions, their doctrines were dirty info after all. I probably wasn’t prohibited from learning about it, but I definitely didn’t feel encouraged to. I have found the rest of this channel very fuckin informative, I feel lot more educated when talking to theists now, not necessarily their theology, but how their worship looks and why they might value it.

[@kimsland999]

​@@christinesotelo7655a lot of other commenter here are still victims of this silly abuse. It was definitely a horror story! Extreme abuse onto a teenager! It's horrendous. By the way I must ask (it sounds predatory I know, but isn't. How did that Nobby knee thing work at beaches or pools when you believed? I don't get that at all.

[@pohldriver]

​@@derekmaverick5986nope. You're not allowed to look outside of the "organization" about anything, especially other religions. At best you'll be scolded, at worst (or even better) you'll be disfellowshipped. Hell, you could be disfellowshipped just for viewing these videos. I assume you want out? I also assume you're too young to be out on your own. Your best bet is to act like you're shooting for an Oscar. Put on a show. Even go out in service. Then, when you're able, just walk away. When I was 17 I was a landscaper. To better protect my face from the cold I started growing a beard. The presiding overseer came up to me immediately after the meeting one Sunday and scolded me. That unto itself wasn't proper protocol. When I asked where the Bible said we weren't to grow a beard, he got aggressive. But, he never pointed to the scriptures. I wasn't allowed to go out in service because of that, so I went home and looked it up. There is no scriptural basis for that rule. And that was when I realized it was a man made rule. Then I realized there were a lot of non-bible based rules. And then it hit me, it was all made up. I started missing meetings, occasionally go out in service, then eventually just the memorial. No one, not even my "friends", ever came to see how I was. It's been 25 years, and still no one has ever contacted me. Now I know what I did would be considered ghosting. You fade away, and they forget you exist. It's easier on you too. As you also slowly erase them from your life. If you grew up in it, entering normal society can be rough. Holidays and birthdays still bother me a bit 19 years of marriage in. But, hanging with people I like, marry someone I love rather than out of convenience, and doing things without worrying about fearing retribution from a non-existent God is true paradise. You don't have to become an alcoholic, drug addicted, or a nymphomaniac or anything. Just be you, and be free.

[@thehigherevolutionary]

Why are you guys talking about the JWs... Don't you know it's the Troof? 🤣🤣🤣 Everyday I find reasons to be thankful I'm out of that mess. Hopefully you are all doing well.

[@knitsandlit4886]

You’re a rare and precious kind of human. Thank you for sharing this.

[@michaellomax8058]

Wow! 88 year old, on the other side of the world. (NZ) You are where I was 60 years ago. Been there. Done that That was the most powerful sermon I have ever heard. Thank you for baring your Soul. ❤

[@TheNinjapancake14]

This comment is so cool to me. Hope you’re doing well in NZ!

[@Spirit-Truth53]

Jared ❤I’m soooooo sad after hearing you😢….. I could be your mom, and I just want to round up all the counterfeits and throw them in jail for life!!!…. I actually have busted a few in my day🤬! You sound like an empath who feels deeply, and goes wholeheartedly after what you believe…… I flew to the Brownsville Revival, and had a good experience… I also know some people that moved there hook line and sinker w pure hearts-husband, wife, and 3 kids “to have their children in that atmosphere to grow up strong in The LORD.”…..LOTS of heartache instead….. I am going to be praying for you🙏 Meanwhile, I implore you to read HisWord starting in Genesis 1…. If you can’t get hungry enough that’s ok, just be honest w GOD and tell Him you’re not hungry so please make you hungry…..try to forget everything you think you know, and let His Word teach you. Jared, there have been counterfeits since the snake in the Garden…. They all want to “be like GOD”but their own ego always gets in the way…… being an atheist takes wayyyy too much faith. I’m soooo sorry for what you’ve gone through, and there is someONE who is even more sorry💔❤️‍🔥😢😭🙏

[@ismaluu]

thank you for being so honest and vulnerable.

[@gendrol259]

7 years!! Well done! I think my all-time record, growing up in a similar paradigm, was three weeks.

[@anksher]

Hi Jared, thank you for sharing your soul with us. You are honest and authentic which comes across your videos. My story is so similar to yours. Born again at age 30 in a Pentecostal church,finished diploma in ministry in AOG ,after twenty years in a full on happy clappy churches I wanted to experience traditional church so I attended for ten years an Anglican Church. After that I attended an Orthodx church for three years. Now I don’t belong to any particular denomination but still got my faith intact. I am taking time out from organised churches. I do go to a church most Sunday’s but now I am visitor and it’s have been interesting journey. My gut feeling is that you are not an Atheist but a deeply hurt by churches and experiences and impossible high standards and expectations those church teachings imposed on you. Been there myself. You are a deep thinker and a person with integrity. That comes across in your videos. Take care ❤

[@diegobrito6735]

What a shame! Dude's been flexing his biceps all the time and no one here to complement him on that. Congrats brother

[@Saffron831]

Intense religious conversation with a side of eye candy is what I'm here for, thanks for this comment. Lmao.

[@PadraigTomas]

I thought they were just arms.

[@jeffchappell3399]

yes that is the great point that God did not call us to do it on our own. In being converted to Christ, having a Relationship with God through Christ, it still boggles my human mind that even when I CHOOSE to sin , ( am drawn away w lust ) when I'm done God's Perfect love is still loving me. Even in His All Knowing ,it must sadden Him that the consequences may end up pulling me deeper in/down. That's why His / Gods Grace IS Sufficient for me and all who are willing to Truly Believe/Trust Jesus is the son of God.

[@dolphinitely_bro3944]

@@jeffchappell3399 Gods love is so vast that He allows us free will. True love comes from sacrifice and not from forcefulness. May God guide us all to sinless and be obedient to His will. Lord have mercy ☦️

[@ImagoDigest]

Went to a Pentecostal youth group through high school. Those were confusing times for me. I appreciate your honesty.

[@BillHellewell]

Hi Jared, I came across your channel a few weeks ago. I was struck by your openness and transparency when talking about your journey. Your ability to show your own vulnerability is rare and refreshing…. Not to mention brave. You also are very generous in commenting on others beliefs, actions, strengths and weaknesses. Your honesty in this video on your struggles with purity and the downside that’s left you feeling unsure and insecure when considering having a long term relationship saddens me. You and I seem to share some things in common regarding struggles with our sexuality and morality while be faithful. The frustrations of fighting the urge to sin or even failing and falling into sin and all the self loathing and self criticism and guilt. At 63 I’m still struggling against “the flesh” albeit not as hard as I had to in my prime. I gave my life to Christ at 18. From 18-40 I had 4 children and 2 failed marriages. The fallout was horrendous not just for my ex’s and children but for me also. With some of that hurt and fallout still affecting me to this day. During a big chunk of those years I was a lapsed Christian bordering on atheism. Long story short, I found my way back or more accurately, God guided me back to faith with gentleness and compassion and especially…. New insights into his word, the nature of sin, forgiveness and Gods justification plan. I maybe a “new creature in Christ” , but it doesn’t mean I’ve miraculously put on my promised incorruptible body….that doesn’t happen until Christs return. And so I renew my heart and mind through Gods word, which increases my desire to follow him. Increases my desire to please him. I’m convinced that is all God requires of me. He knows I will continue to sin. Not because I wish to, but because I still live in a fleshly body. I believe you will find your back to faith as He will continue to guide you as “The Good Shepherd” always does. In the meantime, continue your journey. Continue your Channel, and your openness and honesty. God Bless you my friend🤗

[@fancypantssss79]

Wow, what a journey that was. I grew up secular and could never personally understand that kind of experience with faith. Thanks for the gift of sharing with us. I'm new to your content, and really appreciate your perspective.

[@360.Tapestry]

considering his takeaways from the whole experience, i don't think he had much experience with faith as he does with just be molded and mentored in a cult-like environment

[@pastorrandy]

Concord! I used to go the doctor there in the past three years. I lived in Salisbury. I always called Brownsville a manufactured "revival".

[@felipejzrd]

Thank you for being so open and transparent man, all the best to you

[@samyouelle1]

This was a beautiful video. I grew up Lutheran in Australia but always wanted (and still want to) convert to Catholicism. I have had the same thoughts you’ve had about getting rid of the problem. Your video spoke to me so deeply words cannot express how it’s affected me. Thank you so much for being so open and honest, and for your fantastic videos.

[@zachmetalhead]

wow, that was intense. Keep these videos up Jared, very thought-provoking stuff.

[@TheNinjapancake14]

Jared, I think you should consider writing a book. You’re a descriptive raconteur and I know many people could relate to your experiences (regardless of religious background)

[@MissHsClass]

I second this.

[@zacharyboulanger]

I third this

[@TekieD-Rogers]

Need an Editor? I’m in!

[@chicagogemini007]

⁠I fourth this

[@petucker548]

Just discovered your channel and I absolutely love it. My experience is similar years but not as traumatic. I started off as a Southern Baptist because my mother and dad were Southern Baptist. Until I left for college, I was basically attending church twice on Sunday and once on Wednesday night with some occasional other events thrown in. time I reached college age I had had enough. One memory for me was an argument my father and I had over my staying home to watch the Beatles on Ed Sullivan. He told me I was choosing Satan over Jesus. I didn’t think much more about religion until 10 years later when my daughter was born. I started shopping around and attended all sorts of churches. I ended up settling on the Episcopal Church mainly because of the beautiful liturgy. As faith would have it a few years later, they dumped the 1928 prayer book. I wandered in the wilderness and stumbled upon the Reformed Episcopal Church. Again, 1928 prayer book. I was a happy camper until I move to the northeast. No Reformed Episcopal Church where I live. I tried the Episcopal Church, but it is too far off the rails for me. So here I am, 76, and unaffiliated. I’m fine with that. Keep up the good work!

[@atallwytboi]

I hate the fact that I’ve been waiting a long time for something to come out on Dr. Brown…Before my deconversion, I didn’t watch too many of his videos, but when I did, they always brought me a feeling of theological joy/fulfillment. Especially where he confronted the black herbrew Israelites, being someone who is white and once subscribed to that way of thinking for a time. This phrase has come to my mind recently. Where the light shines a shadow always follows…Another banger video tho dude. A lot unspoken things that you’re bringing to the table that a whole lot of people of faith just take a blind eye to. Edit: I’m proud of you dude. To hear your story as well, you’ve come a long way. And if that isn’t something to be proud of. Idk what is. We are only human. We overcome and adapt. Yet we try our best every day. Just as we did with Christ. Even though the world around us gets crazier by the day. Just for our selves we try our best to do good, even if it lead to something bad. Selflessly selfish.

[@Just_the_usual_madness]

1:28 Garrett ❤ Hey Jared, you are such a great and special person! Thank you for all of your content! I found your channel just at the right time ❤❤

[@jGeothro]

I really appreciate the candid nature of the videos of yours that I’ve seen. It surprised me how much I related to the struggles and worries you described in this video. At least for now, I stay single because I’m not confident that I wouldn’t do something heinous and ruin the lives of people I love.

[@dvd559]

Jared , I just wanna thank you for your thoughts and the courage that you made this video, thank you brother , it really helped me a lot , even if you don’t believe anymore in any effect of praying I just want you to know that I still gonna pray for you man , BIG RESPECT from Romania !

[@laurafreeburn8439]

Thank you for sharing your experience. Even among devout Christians there are so few people living as you did, so your thoughts are really valuable

[@vusumzingceke6518]

As a Christian I must say that you are very honest and I like that about you. You are absolutely spot on even about the blame game and pointing of fingers amongst denominations.

[@debraporzio7490]

Thank you for always getting vulnerable. This was truly emotional. Thank you!

[@samuelmacheil2379]

heartfull thanks for your honesty man. You Really moved me.

[@samueloverton8117]

Thank you Jared! I really appreciate you and this video.

[@austinveitch6944]

This has been so well said and I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your brutal honesty. If I can offer a picture of hope, my wife and I both were committed small group leaders in our church all about the purity culture… then I shattered her heart with my own confession of pornography. But she still loved me better than I deserved. Now we both left the church together after my own deconstruction followed by her own, and were still together. Our love transcended the belief system we thought gave it meaning. The key is not to find a person you’ll never disappoint, they don’t exist. You want a person who will love you honestly enough in spite of your failings as you do for them. That is totally possible outside of religion.

[@davidakins9361]

I appreciate your honesty. I am a christian and I do agree with a lot of what you have said. I pray for understanding for both of us.

[@nickit7655]

I think you need to really get to know some people who have been married for a long time. Not everyone wants to cheat on their spouse, and that’s a rather cynical way of looking at things. There are people who are happily married or monogamous for many years, Christians or not. Just because you don’t think you could do it doesn’t mean that other people can’t.

[@morningwintersun]

The way you speak so honest about your emotions and experiences… its so vulnerable. My biggest Respect. This gives me so much strength. And if there is a God, I truly hope he blesses you forever.

[@ora_et_labora1095]

This was very sincere and vulnerable brother. Praying for you.

[@kimsland999]

And tinsel dust to you. We are the same.

[@ora_et_labora1095]

@ thank you for the concern

[@kimsland999]

@@ora_et_labora1095 in my developed country nobody says pray. If the news reporters said that, they'd likely be sacked. Whilst we are a free country, we respect all people irrespective of their background. Therefore who exactly are we praying to? Therefore it was dropped. Except quoting American news. Common responses are: Thinking of the loved ones or family. Condolences, or wonder at their achievements. Never praying words on public news. Private religious news (barely exists, really it doesn't exist) can say bless and prayers etc, so it's not outlawed. However those shows (few and far btween) are highly discriminative against other religions and non religions. So you can understand they are frowned upon. Your words (colloquial or said with good intentions) tends to be looked upon as outdated and wrong, by the community. Therefore I think of it as in bad taste, and so would others. Clearly a cultural (not free speach) issue.

[@cullenkenneth5980]

@@kimsland999I’ll pray for you, too.

[@ora_et_labora1095]

​@@kimsland999 I'm not in the US, and in my country, it's also outdated and wrong. But at the same time, it's the same society that wouldn't let your child get a tattoo but thinks it's okay to sterilize them. So, I usually don't go by what the community thinks is in bad taste or not and will continue to pray (and say Merry Christmas, celebrate Easter, fast, give food to homeless people, forgive and love people and rock my big ass cross tattoo). Thanks for the info though!

[@BruceSimmons-v2f]

Greetings Jared. First of all I've been watching your content for a few months now and wanted to say thank you so much for being one of the most honest and genuine people I've encountered on this platform. Knowing people like you exist truly makes me worry less about the future of humanity. And I know you don't know me but I wanted to be hopefully one of many voices to reassure you that those traits will also make you an amazing husband and/or father one day should you go that route. I know fears of possible future transgressions on our own part can be a rather daunting barrier for entry into any committed relationship, but if you stay humble and own it when you fall short I think that's all the world can ever ask of anyone. So my hope and prayer for you is that you one day find someone you care so much for that it overpowers any fear of failure and you thereby discover the joy that is sharing every aspect of life with the person that completes you. But even if that never happens as long as you keep seeking truth with humility and as much grace as you can muster like it you have been it is definitely a life worth living IMHO. Keep up the good work!

[@JoannaMaymusings]

As a former intern/staff at the International House of Prayer | Mike Bickle for years, I deeply identified with this video. The intensity culture is so unusual, it's rare to find people who understand it. Also appreciate your candor and thoughts on the destructiveness of intense holiness/purity culture: I know my thoughts on it from a female perspective but so rarely hear any articulation from a male perspective.

[@annahserke1283]

if you don't mind me asking where are you faith-wise?

[@kimsland999]

​@@annahserke1283Hopefully zero faith since it's clearly an unreliable method!

[@kimsland999]

I actually thought it was more males, however you're about the 4th female abuse story I've read here.

[@JoannaMaymusings]

@@annahserke1283 Good?

[@GraceletswithBillFaris-ng9cy]

Jared: I so appreciate your candor, especially in such a public space. My heart goes out to you. True fact: I've been married 48 years and have never cheated on my wife. We married at 20 and 21 years old and people thought we were crazy (we met in Bible School). She went into nursing and I into the ministry. We have four kids and five grandkids and, as Jean Valjean says in Les Miz, they are "the best of my life". If I could speak to your old high school audience, here's what I'd say: "the struggle to aim for a high standard is - in itself - holy. Your relationship with yourself, including your body, is holy. Respect yourself. Aim high. Do your best. Embrace your humanity and learn about how to live with yourself, your desires, your goals. It's a study. There's always more to learn. Let every experience - success or failure - become your teacher". Something like that. Be at peace, Jared. I appreciate you.

[@kimsland999]

Or don't, as its his choice right? Unless you are against his choice? Outrageous. Maybe he could have multiple married women as flings, that would be OK too of course? If that's what he wants. Wait you aren't against what he may want I hope! As long as it's consenting adults. It sounds as though you may have some outdated belief. He could have 1000 relationships with consenting men if he wants. That's OK too of course right?

[@xXTrUeHaVoCXx]

I have been watching your videos for the past 6 months or so and after seeing this video I am in awe of the similarity of our experience. I was very into christian metal in my late teenage years, and when I stumbled upon your videos and hearing you reference your own music I thought to myself after listening "Man I'd bet money that this guy loves Oh Sleeper.", and now I feel so vindicated after watching this video. I was enrolled in a very similar program for a semester, School of Urban Ministry or SUM, and we also had a missions trip to Mardi Gras, and I am sure your experience was as equally as wild as mine. Seeing your videos and the way that you wrestle with your faith so openly is both very refreshing and reassuring, it is refreshing for the sense of honesty you display and it is reassuring for the peace you have while wrestling with such a deep aspect of human existence. I've long since left the faith and I still deal with these questions and feelings on almost a weekly basis. Your videos are such a positive force for atheists and believers alike and I hope that you continue to make such awesome content.

[@derekjw75]

Everything you said was almost exactly my experience with purity culture. Then I had a bishop tell me I was taking it all too seriously, to the detriment of the rest of my life. I was angry with him, and later with God, and I rebelled. God picked up the pieces in the aftermath and made something better. He will do that for you too.

[@Llamamagic2024]

A few years back a bunch of British scientists tried to habituate their bodies to extreme cold. They did a number of experiments on themselves …and at the end of the experiment and the exposure their bodies were LESS able to deal with the cold. The prolonged exposures had simply “taught” the body systems to react quickly and with extreme measures in the cold (thus increasing likelihood of frostbite, and hypothermia generally). The prolonged exposure made things worse. I suspect your “extreme”!purity measures had the same effect.,

[@tannerwilson5248]

After reading this title I’m both excited and concerned!

[@Applefreak52]

Man that ending hit home hard. Thanks for sharing all that. I wish i saw something like this when i was deep in the frey. I was certainly given a dream and instructions that were not compatible.

[@em-beem-be6708]

You are the first so-called former christian who seems genuine and honest unlike the endless hate filled ones i see popping out of the woodwork. You remind me a lot about myself. Wish you all the best and will pray for you.

[@stpns9890]

Honest thanks to you for giving me talking points with my two sons. I grew up already let loose to anything i wanted to do, & now i see the emptyness & shame that i feel over the way i treated women. I hope that they dont have to experience that shame & they can go in a better direction.

[@SaintLewisMusic]

Ouch. My extended family (in-laws) led worship in Brownsville several times.

[@Hysterically_Accurate]

I grew up Pentecostal, UPCI specifically. The parts about sex and sexuality brought back some intense memories. Sex was almost treated like a curse word, to the point where some of the kids in youth group would refer to it as the "s-word." It made it seem like this thing to be feared and avoided, and it negatively impacted most of the dating lives of us as teens. I would refuse to think of any of the girls I liked in a sexual way and was caught completely off guard when they confided that they actually wanted sex. I didn't want to give them "temptation," as the gangly awkward playboy I was at 16, so I ran. I didn't pursue any relationships. It doesn't make any sense in hindsight. I remember being disillusioned when I found out most of my friends weren't as severe in their convictions as I was, and ended up not talking to any of them anymore. (This was the right thing to do, but for the wrong reasons.) Sex in Pentecostal circles is only ever spoken of in a negative light, and it reinforces the sexist idea that women only do sex as a favor for men, or as a way to get power. It's what I thought for the longest time. I was told growing up that women would throw themselves at me if I'm not on my guard at all times, and I had to be prepared for that. The worst part was when I inevitably discovered porn, and I asked for advice on dealing with temptation, and all I was told was to give it to God and leave it at the altar and trust in God with everything I had. I had and have no idea what that means, and it gave me nothing but confusion when I would pray and say all those platitudes and still want to watch porn afterwards. There was no practical advice. There was no magic word to save myself. I'm still a Christian, Catholic now. But I have a lot of resentment for the way I was taught about sex growing up. The part that I resent the most is that I can't fully renounce my old church, because I was just like them not too long ago. I don't know what I've carried with me.

[@christinesotelo7655]

I was brought up Catholic. Sex was taboo. I recall being in third grade and boys being told that the Virgin Mary (no one knew what Virgin meant) was the only girlfriend they could have and for girls, Jesus as a boyfriend. We had no idea what those nuns were talking about. When we got older, being seventeen and on the edge of getting married, no one would explain sex. It just wasn’t talked about. No one knew anything, despite urges and feelings “down there”. If we did anything we didn’t know, it was a mortal sin and we’d end up in hell forever if we didn’t run to a confessional priest before we died, to confess what we didn’t know how to talk about because we weren’t sure if that was really IT. Then the priest would end up having to drag words out of us that made him sound like a pervert. Catholic, Pentecostal, Jehovah’s Witness-all denying the progress and process and passages of human BEING. sad.

[@UnbrokenBeliever]

Catholicism is just as bad as Protestantism in this area, even worse in some circles.

[@jalapeno.tabasco]

well UPCI is a heretical church, they're Sabellians and huge legalists

[@TheNinjapancake14]

My current church emphasizes how God (creator of the universe) also created sex. It was never meant to be taboo, it’s meant to be a beautiful thing in the right setting, and I wish different cultures (including my own) didn’t treat it as taboo. Because, as I’m hearing, you can’t suddenly switch that thinking off once you get married.

[@jeffchappell3399]

​@@TheNinjapancake14 yes seeing it as a rule and not really understanding it is a curse before marriage and a blessing within the marriage sort of makes it a rule for life so I can see where this confuses a person before and after marriage

[@maxhaas2928]

Jared- I’m always so grateful for your emotional self-awareness and your intellectual honesty. It’s funny, biographically, we are very different. I grew up a hardcore atheist and became a Christian in adulthood- I’m an Episcopalian now, so that’s even more difference, lol. Despite having so little in common on these facts and disagreeing with a lot of the bigger conclusions you come to about fundamental questions, I still am able to see myself in you. Not sure why, I just can. We’re both people earnestly trying to be better people. The contrition in your eyes and in your voice are things that I wish I saw in more of my fellows. God bless and keep up the good work

[@oscarrosales6862]

Bro I was alr binge watching your channel today, love this video and love seeing your thought process! God bless

[@SnailLagoon]

Damn. Not ending with, "Go to church," on this video says so much while saying nothing at all. The complexities of religion are so overwhelming. I appreciate Jared's candor and frank approach to discussing religion-- blemishes and all. For some people like me, those are the discussions I'm interested in hearing. Thank you for having the tough discussions at the expense of your own vulnerability, man.

[@kimsland999]

Yes it's a good 1st step. We'll 2nd as he removed believing in a claimed monster God.

[@RUNTY_OW]

30:20 I’ve never been so close to crying and then laughing my ass off so quickly😂

[@ItsThatGuy1989]

Great video once again. The ending especially resonates with me. I simultaneously want a spouse, yet I'm so afraid of moral failing, of cheating on them (not that I would rn, but who knows in 10 years?), that I would rather be single. I am glad I joined the Orthodox Church, especially one with a priest that is non judgemental and has such a healthy attitude towards sex. Completely changed my paradigm on sex and sin. That's not to say the church broadly doesn't have issues with purity culture, I'm sure it does. But I still have a lot of baggage from my conservative evangelical days

[@lisaosborne8670]

Another ex-jehovah's witness subscriber here that found your channel when you did the videos on the Watchtower. I didn't grow up as a Jehovah's Witness so I also have the added benefit of experiencing other Christian religions and seeing the differences between them and the Jehovah's Witnesses. I'd never belonged to a religion that talks so much about sex at their meetings and study groups. My friends that grew up as JW's did not realize that fact because they had been around it all their lives, I was 15 when my family joined. Lots of us who went through puberty as JW's were messed up about sexuality. Enough guilty feelings to last a lifetime. I've been an atheist for over 16 years after going on my own journey of reading, research, and self discovery after leaving the JW's at 23. Thank you for your content. I enjoy the research you do on a church or denomination and your loving approach to their beliefs. I started my atheist journey as an angry atheist, but after so many years I've mellowed out and "to each their own" is my approach to most people. Take care and have a great day!

[@kimsland999]

Atheism (just not accepting the theist's baseless claim of a God) is a thing due to the harm religion causes. That's why aFairiests or aSanta-ists aren't a thing.

[@lukemedcalf1670]

I don't even know what to say, I'm truly speechless. Terrifyingly and exhilaratingly existential on a level I have almost never seen before. I commend you sir. Truly one of the best things I have had the pleasure of watching, and I say that as a newly reconstructed Christian. I hope that one day, you find the Divine once again sir

[@christinesotelo7655]

What is a Reconstructed Christian?

[@TheJoeschmoe777]

​@@christinesotelo7655 Probably a Christian who deconstructed their faith but came back

[@lukemedcalf1670]

@@christinesotelo7655 lost my faith (deconstructed) and regained it (reconstructed)

[@nickonoma]

@@christinesotelo7655 someone who deconstructed and built their faith back up again i assume

[@SOCKSofIRONFIST]

@@christinesotelo7655 Answering from my alt. Someone who lost their faith, and regained it, but it looks a lot different from the faith I grew up with. Imagine flipping an old, dirty crack house. You rip out the walls, the floors, everything. Only the foundation and frame remains. Then overtime, you add the insulation, the roof and some shingles, a new floor, and A/C unit, other *house stuff*. Its not finished yet, and you worry there are problems with the way you've built things, but most of it isn't as tedious to fix as you previously thought, and it actually ends up looking better and remaining more firm. Of course, there's a leak in the roof that still needs fixing, and I'm not sure if I like the color of my hardwood floor. I'm not ready to put furniture in there and call it a home though; I'm not done questioning and building things up, but I'm proud of how hard I've come.

[@hannahbaker3080]

That last minute was a left hook I didn’t see coming, thanks for being so vulnerable, I cried for the torment you went through. I reckon we’re about the same age, and I agree that purity culture was toxic. It didn’t give us the proper tools. Genuinely praying for your mental torment over this ❤

[@Paisios1994]

I was an avid listener of the Line of Fire and also loved Dr Browns authorship. He helped me escape some cult-ish protestant groups, ultimately I left Pentecostal/protestantism for the Eastern Orthodox Church. I enjoy your transparency and thanks for sharing.

[@cwthomas]

A lot of reasons given for why people leave Christianity apply to me as well. Especially that we are told that if we live according to a certain standard that we will have a great marriage, great relationships and near perfect children. That is a big part of why I left Evangelicalism. But then later on I discovered Orthodox Christianity and also discovered that from the start, the original church never told anyone any of those things but rather "In this world you will have troubles". Rather than examples of faith resulting in a healthy happy life, I saw saints who were saints because they endured hardships that were never fixed or healed in this lifetime.

[@sergiorojas5017]

Dude! Great video! Thanks for putting this out there. You gave me a lot to think on! 🤘 -Fellow Crispy 😂

[@MrsCasiopea]

I'm so sorry they did this to you. You are amazing. I'm an agnostic who likes religion and I love your videos!!❤

[@davidstankiewicz2049]

Excellent theological, psychological, social, and personal reflection. Better to be a good athiest - who's values are wise, compassionate, selfless, and humble - than a bad athiest who's arrogant, repressive, and self loathing.

[@geegee0123456789]

Jared I'm so fascinated by your spiritual journey as an ex evangelist myself. I hope you can share more. This was raw, thank you.

[@BeccaE]

14:03 yes I had to do this 20 years ago in front of my church the pastor said that I had sinned against the church and he said all kinds of stuff it was so horrible and people treated me awful I was pregnant and they bugged and bugged ,e to give it up for adoption but I did t and I kept her she is 19 in college lol sorry for going on who knows if anyone reads it

[@budzwithbudz6729]

What he did lacked the gentleness of the Spirit. I am glad you kept the baby. The only sin in all of that would have been giving up the child. By the way, let them judge and think not of it, because God's judgement is the only thing that matters.

[@TheCompassionateApostate]

i felt your pain all the way through the "masturbation" part, as an exjw born in, purity culture was very strong in our community too, i remember going through most of the steps you described, including stop watching pornography and masturbating, it was painful, useless, didn't make me any better on a moral and ethical level, didn't make me holier, and added more suffering to all the other issues i was already going through as a teenager who's trapped in a cult. It's not just sexuality that has definitely been compromised, it's the doctrine as a whole that makes me feel like my childhood and teenage era are gone, ruined, and will never come back. Purity culture is a scourge for mental health in religious groups, also for men, thank you for bringing up the topic and for your openness and honesty.

[@johnbest1262]

I was waiting for you to make a video on that mess. I looked up to Dr. Brown so much. I know I need to put my faith in Jesus never failing me, not man. God bless brother.

[@TekieD-Rogers]

I know little about the man…..so in a sense, you could say i have no dawg in this fight….STILL, I’m curious what you thought of his response? I watched 2 vids on allegations, & then 2 videos showing his reply. His attempt to “own” it without it “hurting” him in the wallet, was as painful, if not more so, than the allegations! Seems obvious, if he could carry on, with this DECEIT, for 23 YEARS, the stench created, he REFUSES to admit smelling. This ain’t simple “denial”. Nope, it’s far worse…. Now, he had his “cake”, and has fed on it for 23 years. All because he knew what SHOULD HAPPEN to his career, as an “elite child of God”. ( those don’t exist ) ! Consequently, his behavior disqualified himself from standing behind a pulpit. Period! Oh, & lest we forget the CASH accolades he kept reaping for being someone he wasn’t ! I’m old woman, so perhaps I’m “out of touch”….which is my right to be. Do you feel differently?

[@Vetionarian]

Bro, I'm an LDS man (married 8 years 2 kids) and I the longest period of time I've ever gone without looking at porn or masturbating was my 2 year mission. Even in my marriage it's been a struggle but luckily my wife and I have been unified in developing our sexuality together and the times we've done that well are the times that I've had extended success with removing porn and masturbation from my life. So to hear you went from age 14 to 21 without a lapse is pretty remarkable. I definitely wouldn't consider myself an orthodox Latter-Day Saint by any means but I do choose to believe in the basic tenants due to them feeling incredibly hopeful for family structure and it fits so well into our lifestyle choice. (My wife and I did the typical mormon thing and got married at age 22 and 21). I love your channel and your takes. I honestly love hearing about all peoples points of view especially with topics like morality and religion. Thank you for sharing and I hope your channel blows up on KZbin!

[@DGatt93]

The fact that you are aware of flaws and that fear of making bad decisions because of the impact actions have on others speaks not to your weakness, but strength of character and personal integrity. It is clear, even to me a stranger, that you are seeking to do what is right and doing your utmost to do good to others as far as you know how. I pray that you are encouraged and edified, strengthened and find peace. God bless you and keep you. ☦

[@Christe_Audi_Nos]

I appreciate your message. Having converted myself from evangelical Christianity, I can empathize with the level of shame that can be brought about by well-meaning people regarding sexuality. Even in my home in the Catholic Church, there are so many who struggle with concepts like ‘purity’ and ‘chastity’ and oftentimes lose hope in Mercy. Love you, brother. Pax et bonum.

[@paulpaluciano6162]

That sneeze of yours at 08:26 (plus screen title) is pure genius 😂 And this is coming from a believer in Christ 🙏🤝

[@mariaanhobson143]

Your videos (at least the ones I've watched so far) move me deeply. To me, you seem hopelessly and madly in love with Jesus still. It's like someone who broke up with the love of his life because he was intellectually convinced for it to be the best. Unfortunately, his heart continues to pine and bleed with love for that one. He can't stay away mentally or physically - always talks about her and alwaysgoes where she will be. To Peter He said: " if you love me, feed my sheep ..." In your own way, you are doing it on this channel by talking about how things should be and what to look out for. You seem to love and want to care for the sheep ... even the ones that still need to come in to the fold. It is like you want to keep an eye on the shepherds. I am not convinced of your atheism. Actions speak louder than words. And I am convinced that deep down, you know it too.

[@andrewreed4216]

A very good honest share. Very good. I hope you're able to find balance.

[@idontknowwhatimdoing2208]

Hey man, I don’t know how to reconcile my hope as a Christian with your belief system, but i do want to encourage you to not give up the hope of having a family As a husband and father, i can tell you, you will fail i definitely have But ive also had my greatest triumphs and joys as a husband and father Expect that you will have to humble yourself, say sorry when you mess up, ask for forgiveness… but don’t give up on the race before you run it just because you don’t think you can finish, being a husband and dad is one of the few things we get on this side of eternity that can bring purpose to our lives I love your channel my friend, your sincerity and thoughtfulness are evident in your communication I sincerely hope to see a video about your adventures as a husband and father in a couple years I hope this isn’t too awkward, but Father, i pray for Jared, I ask that you give him the courage to not give up hope on being a husband and a father I ask that you encourage him and help him find a woman who he can be honest and open with, who will love him and forgive him when he makes mistakes A person that can look past his failures and help him be the best version of himself. Thank you for your grace and mercy In Jesus name Amen

[@professorlogos5459]

I grew up around this stuff in the Catholic Charismatic movement. Now I’m more of a traditionalist Catholic. Though I love that your seminary didn’t stop you from enjoying the musics you liked.

[@marge-bg4zn]

I can’t speak for everyone but I’ve come to the conclusion that charismaniacs have one goal, and that’s to make everyone keep trying, keep working, go deeper, go higher, come up higher, get closer, do better, be better(ugh) There’s no reaching the top because there is always the next level to go up farther. Of course we’ve all felt like colossal failures. The game is rigged (I’m still a believer, but my faith is in God now, and EVERY MAN IS A LIAR. )

[@davidschefter4160]

Matthew 11:28

[@walktallmyson]

While purity culture harms women at a disproportionately higher rate, it definitely harms men too and it's nice to hear that perspective (since most men won't fess up to it). Thanks for the inside look into Fire... I used to live right down the street from it and was endlessly curious and knew some people who went, but never got that honest of a description of it.

[@RedeemedMusicanOfGod]

Howdy. I’m a theologically conservative Baptist (I believe in evolution and just science in general, so I’m not a fundamentalist), and this is a problem. This is the first video I’ve seen of you (sir? Jared? Helio? I’ll call you sir since you are older than me). I have never seen you before, and you have gained my respect so much. I can visibly see the pain that this causes you, and I EMPATHIZE (not sympathize [had to look it up to make sure]) with the p stuff (can I say that on YT?). I tend to see this scandal stuff unfortunately in communities that want to beat it out of you. The church I went to used to be one of the very oppressively fundamentalist in the 70s, 80s, 90s (our current Pastor SEEMS to have been the reason this started to reverse, but I am not sure on that, since it feels to much like a touchy subject to really ask all that much). Whenever my aunts and cousins (that are old enough to be my aunts), got pregnant, they were called down in the middle of the altar and shamed. And resulting from a lot of the shaming (among other things in the church) a lot of my family left the church not wanting to have anything to do with God. Very sad. I appreciated this video so much sir, and I wanted to know that I feel for you, and that I want to make sure that you are heard. Soli Deo Gloria, Anderson Crowell PS, I am subbed to you now, because you deserve it.

[@lilygrace4562]

I’m so sorry you went through this…I’m praying that the failure of others won’t continue to harm you🙏

[@pixelationloss]

I grew up Southern Baptist and had the True Love Waits program drilled into me multiple times as a teenager. I left the church and “deconstructed” over a decade ago, but the way the church demonized anything sexual will forever live somewhere in the back of my mind, unfortunately.

[@phil3924]

wrong, I go to an SBC church and it was never demonized. Some younger people misinterpret what’s being said. Unfortunately, pop culture gets to define what the church allegedly said .

[@Fr_David_Wooten]

Wow. So, first of all, THANK YOU for this honest deep dive. This was very like my adolescence, though you were more personally involved in your group -- I was involved with Teen Mania Ministries in the 90s, fed into Oral Roberts University for undergrad, where a lot of friends had done TMM's Honor Academy, which reminds me a lot of your description of FIRE. The family of my wife (whom I met at ORU) has been affiliated with IHOP (Internat'l House of Prayer, for those who don't know), which also seems to overlap a lot with FIRE. My wife and I became Orthodox while at ORU (along with a lot of others there), after getting really disillusioned with things. Now I'm a priest. It's not a perfect place conduct-wise, not by a long shot -- like you said, no group of humans is religiously perfect -- but for us, I think (speaking for myself, though I think my wife would likely agree) the intense fire of our charismatic days was a flamethrower that ran out of fuel. In the Orthodox Church, it's steady, glowing coals. It's like you said in your recent video about going to All Saints, the "modest takeaways" of life for Christ are (at least more?) sustainable over time, ISTM. (Sorry for the long comment.)

[@icxcnika7722]

Nice to see another fellow North Carolinian making the waves on YT, even if you're no longer a Christian.

[@crarazy]

Thank you for sharing. My wife and I waited till marriage to have sex and it didn’t feel like it helped. I’ve said it before but after we knew we were likely going to be married, I wish we had sex, because it feels to me it’s only made it more difficult now that we’re married. I “won” purity culture and it didn’t feel like it helped me at all, and has only led to pain in marriage. Similar to you, I also had thoughts of castrating the thing that leads me to “sin”, and it led to a full blown gender/identity crisis last year, all this while being married. Sexuality/purity feels like it did nothing to help and has only made sex harder when it was all supposed to make sex within marriage way better. So again, thank you for sharing, I definitely resonate with some of what you have experienced.

[@christinesotelo7655]

Sex really begins in the mind. No thoughts, no arousal.

[@danimal118]

Sexual purity by threat and fear is like placing a box over that part of our being that will not die and will grow no matter what you do. The plant will grow out of every open space but underneath the box, the plant is pale, contorted, and twisted. The sex drive is powerful enough to withstand famine, disease, and war; little boys should not be forced to mutilate themselves to be something they are not. Thankfully, I learned to reject the worship of purity that is twisted. I am glad my wife and I never slept with anyone else, but trusting in purity is death. Thankfulness is the cure. Thankfulness for sex and all of its glorious oddities that keep it grounded to earth.

[@fasola183]

I absolutely love your candor. I can see you hold a lot of respect still for your ex-religious institutions and that’s commendable (I don’t hold such respect for mine). One of the driving forces for my leaving Pentecostalism was my sexuality and hearing how you described your experience resisting your urges gave me flashbacks to how I would repress my urges and just be miserable when I would fail. Almost word for word.

[@MissHsClass]

I was struggling and searching for the words but you said everything I wanted to say. Thanks!

[@danicatattoos]

Jared! I feel like a west coast female version of you in the mutli-verse! Lol. I was obsessed with Christian metalcore in highschool & was a straightedge girlie, went to Bethel Supernatural School of Ministry, and also went to Biola for a biblical studies minor. I appreciate your vulnerability with your experience and very generous take on FIRE more generally. I, like you, also used to be very hard on myself and I think was largely influenced by religion among other things. I also gave a sermon to an IHOP group about God's severity in his love full of intensity, which I regret as I feel it was informed by a thwarted view of what love was. Just want to say that you're seen and heard, Jared. Also as a sidenote, I've been married 7 years and I find that something interesting is how much intimacy is about communication (wants, needs, experience, etc) and how much self-punishing shame actually pushes us away from that. A lot of the teaching on that topic I really had to deconstruct from after getting married.

[@Reformedandrevived]

Thank you for your grace and how elegantly you discuss this topic. I think the misguidance here is that the way to avoid sexual sin is not by thinking about repercussions for self or but mustering enough strength to resist, but instead to focus on how Gods way is best and that His way is the better way not a depriving way. We overcome not but mustering strength but by relying on His strength. I pray you are able to receive His forgiveness. ❤️

[@flipforward]

Jared, I felt your sincerity and your hurt. You made me cry. I will pray for you. LHM 40X

[@paulsinkovits]

I understand the same struggles and fears. Lately, it's helped me to be idealistically driven by the idea of making the world a better place. I want to live in a world where people don't cheat on their spouses and if I cheated, then I wouldn't belong in that world. (I also want a world that believes in forgiveness).

[@ndm0227]

Wow, this was very open and raw. I hope whatever path you take is the right one for you and your sexuality. I know lots of monogamous couples, I know lots of ethical non monogamous folks. Good parents in both camps. Anyway I appreciate your work and I genuinely wish you all good things.

[@thevoiceoftheteacher3581]

Hey Heliocentric, Change a few details and I have a similar story. Here is the difference, I embrace the grace that Doc rejected. God is a loving father and good shepherd. Psalm 103:13-15 13 The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. 14 For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust. 15 Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die.

[@ToddBrown-sv7yq]

Just discovered your channel, thank you for your level-headed and compassionate approach. And on another note coming from someone who did not “fap” from 2009-2018-i believe you 🙃

[@Moonkdd]

Man, I’ve been in the same boat about being single rather than risking harm (to myself or by my hand). It’s something I’ve been wrestling with for a long while too - You aren’t alone.

[@codyleerose]

10:17 looks like bill murry found his way into revival haha

[@thechristianmetalhead]

I hear and feel your heart in this. And I apologize sincerely for the damage that still resonates with you. Peace and clarity are an ongoing process. More than most would like to admit, it isn't so straightforward. Darkness can really disrupt things if you are actively seeking that peace and clarity. But that acknowledgment that the darkness is there is part of the process. I know you wouldn't want to cheat on your partner. I don't want to cheat on my wife either. And I hope that when you find that right girl, she will empathize with your concern and help you through it. And you both have a loving and fruitful life together. Love ya, man. I hope we get to sit down together over bourbon and just talk one day before we pass on. On a lighter note, Whispers has been living in my head for the past few days. Rent is due by the end of the month.