Understanding NPD and How to Spot Abuse

[@iamgoddessoflove]

Narcissists create their own pitfalls. They invite negativity, but don't want to own up to it… And when they try to sabotage others, they end up sabotaging themselves. 💙KZbinr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships

[@jaklumen]

Hello again.. yes, I saw this with my maternal grandmother, and I'm still seeing it with my mother. They both usually showed their broken filter through gossip. Narc Grandma died June 2020- absolutely no sign of accountability, even after death, I'd say. Unfortunately, my mother seems bound and determined to do the same, to blame anyone else but herself. We'll see. Cimmy and I are working on our own accountability and not wasting too much time to get any from Mom (but we give her chances as we can).

[@jnetcl5599]

This really works. My narcissist ex bf tried to destroy my self confidence. I had to remind myself of all my values and have strength to stay away. Thank you.

[@DrDanielFox]

Insight is a powerful thing. Use it to learn about yourself and to build adaptive strategies to help yourself. Be well.

[@bebaaskaful]

My mother is a narcissist. She raised me, so I dont have a scence of self. And it is called BPD clinically. I belive and I scenced it on my skin that they avoid emotions more than BPD avoids pain, abondonment and lonlliness. Especially vulnerability and love.

[@zeddeka]

Another great video! Otto Kernberg believed that Narcissism was a defence mechanism against an underlying borderline personality. It'd be great to hear your thoughts on that.

[@lissacablerware8475]

Good point. In my experience, it seems to be the stronger of survival traits/personalities that one with primary BPD tendencies utilises, to defend against hurt, abandonment or rejection. You can observe the switch right before your eyes, where the grandiosity takes over and arrogance swiftly covers vulnerability. It’s next to impossible to reach the hearts of these individuals, let alone have basic communication with them outside their fantasy.

[@zeddeka]

@@lissacablerware8475 it's so interesting isn't it. I often wonder how we'll view these things in 100 years time and how our understanding will have improved.

[@mandaa4]

That is a SUPER fascinating idea

[@mandaa4]

@@lissacablerware8475 oh my god yes

[@mandaa4]

@@lissacablerware8475 it’s also reminiscent of when a child lashes out to avoid the real problem they’re having

[@lissacablerware8475]

Thank you Dr Fox. This is perhaps the most frustrating aspect of most encounters with the individual. The other walks away completely confused and bewildered 😕 if we haven’t parted by saying something mean or destructive as a defence. This is truly crazy making. It explains why no contact ends up being the only remedy. This video was timely after a recent unexpected encounter where exactly this occurred.

[@bryanmccaffrey4385]

I'm studying psych again after 30 years. Diagnosed ASD Level One a few years ago. This video finally explained the difference between personality disorders and ASD in a very direct way. Intent. I'm studying ASD and personality disorders. The first pass seeming overlap is frustrating for everyone involved.

[@PsychologistAnand]

മലയാളത്തിൽ ഞാൻ സൈക്കോളജി ചാനൽ ഉടമയാണ്. ഈ ഇംഗ്ലീഷ് ചാനൽ എന്തായാലും ഒരു നല്ല ചാനൽ ആണ്. ഈ ചാനൽ ആണ് എന്റെ പ്രചോദനം

[@TheDavveponken]

This is so valuable. Thank you. Very simple explanation of narcissistic traits.

[@DrDanielFox]

You're very welcome

[@valenciawalker6498]

Thank you , Ive noticed this in some individuals. it can be challenging to deal with these individuals whether family members or partner. in grad school for psychology. its definitely important .

[@deannabryan68]

Also a broken filter can come from a brain injury also.

[@jaklumen]

Right.. in my experience, however, people with traumatic brain injuries (TBIs) are aware they have a TBI, and will acknowledge their limitations as such.

[@mantisgrl]

I was going for physiotherapy after a concussion and the physiotherapist was a textbook grandiose narcissist. Every session, he’d make a no filter back-handed comment about my outfit and stare at my body in an intense, creepy way. He would just stare and stare at me, as if he was studying me. He did the bare minimum at his job and wanted to talk about himself and his life more than help me. He got extremely personal with me and would inundate me with weird, grey-area sexual innuendos and double entendres. At one point I thought we had a connection or something because he acted so excited to see me and we’d have these deep chats. Nah. It was all an act. I just fed his ego by being nice and listening to his bs. When I asked questions relating to my condition, he’d arrogantly dismiss me and make me feel stupid, like there was nothing wrong with me in the first place. He had no empathy for all the pain I was in and disregarded me completely by the end of it.

[@godzillamanstreb524]

👏👏👏👏….finally got it after decades of npd abuse….I mean, who knew in the 80’s 90’s early 2K’s???

[@jaklumen]

Yep, I hear you. It stretches back to the mid and late '70s for me.

[@yurielcundangan9090]

Just be CAUSE you hate someone's speech does not resonate it to be a hate speech

[@Yamikaiba123]

This is so bizarre. I've gained tremendous long-term benefit from the feedback I've received in response to my Unfiltered words and behaviour. Honestly, I think I make up for lacklustre insight by interacting boldy, earnestly, and honestly, with others and giving full welcome and attention to the results and responses. Otherwise, I'd have little way of understanding how I affect those around me.

[@Yamikaiba123]

Albeit, this feedback is also how I've learnt the value of curbing my impulsivity or providing myself and others buffers in contexts where action-before-thought is a liability.

[@BodyLanguageAnalysisInterrogat]

TY so much Dr. Fox - great advice!

[@DrDanielFox]

You’re welcome ☺️

[@Pancakelover09]

one of my friends shares many of these symptoms so thank you for teaching me about this disorder

[@DrDanielFox]

You're very welcome. I'm glad the video was helpful. Be well.

[@terrapintravels3829]

This concept is very helpful. I wish I had, had it in the relationship with my husband but I can work on it now. Thank you.

[@yurielcundangan9090]

The fact that they were aRResting people running against them really shows you that revolting was necessary

[@turtlehatching9716]

Thanks for the great advice as I procrastinate about visiting my father. Thank you

[@DrDanielFox]

You are so welcome!

[@jaklumen]

Dr. Fox, please will you elaborate how this broken filter shows up with covert narcissists? My observations so far is that the covert narc I know guards it a bit in public, but weaponizes it in private- e.g., what I call "the TMFI bomb". What works somewhat of late is saying "Mom, you're doing it again"- she is experiencing old age with Parkinson's. I'm not able to go No Contact because of financial entanglements.

[@summersalix]

What does tmfi stand for?

[@jaklumen]

@@summersalix Too Much F***ing Information. Didn't matter if it was in front of me, my wife, and my father- she blathered on about a co-worker needing a v-mesh, and someone she knew with breast augmentation where the implants shifted around. EDIT: each of these stories were two separate overshare incidents, i.e. two different examples of her oversharing. I'm pretty sure she does it for control via shock value.

[@anewrae]

Thanks a ton Dr., this is really helpful!

[@DrDanielFox]

Glad it was helpful!

[@dianaeliczi6230]

Thank you so much for your important content💜

[@DrDanielFox]

You are so welcome!

[@meanimeconingles]

They won't take responsibility, ever. Both my parents are narcissistic. I have started to write in a secret diary on the phone, just to make sure, if something happens someone might need to know what happened to me.

[@Daniellegarrow]

I have Bpd, cptsd, mdd. And last year I had no filter and didn't understand.. can this happen in also. Did notice that meds weren't working and stress was way more then I could handle. So far new meds have calmed me down and "Karen" screaming fight is gone. I'm like did 200 degree turn.

[@HB-gz3ci]

Dr. Fox, can you talk more about the lost insight in BPD! I thought BPD would know something was wrong with them?

[@badeugenecops4741]

Oh, we do.

[@nikijauron5320]

I am 55 s as is narcissistic , mother I’ve come home after 30 years no contact and I’m trapped , she says she can’t die with me here with my stepdad. , I know she wants to kill me , I have nightmares of being murdered. I live on a Hispanic work compound she owns and all of these people work for her and would do anything she says, and she pays people to be mean to me and do bad things to me and I really need to talk to a therapist in my area that will take Medi-Cal. I’ve been isolated for 10 years now most of my life really but I’ve had no human contact with the exception of doctors in almost 10 years no friends no dating no social media and I’m starting to get really bad health problems because of the heat and toxic people all around me she’s rich and she has trained people how to treat me and turn my family against me and given away my inheritance and I am in trouble I can’t leave because she made sure I wouldn’t be able to leave. I can’t seem to find a therapist that understands. If this message can reach this doctor, maybe he could suggest someone in my area that takes Medi-Cal or Gold Coast I’m in Ventura California.

[@paulavery5889]

I already knew this but my father has every single one of those. I hate him.

[@DrDanielFox]

I’m sorry you experienced that. I wish you well.

[@happybergner9832]

💕

[@DrDanielFox]

Thanks you.

[@ismathfareeha4083]

Why are narcissist men very successful in their career?

[@DrDanielFox]

Most are not actually. Only a small percentage.

[@davidemm829]

The river that's not in Egypt defense is the most primitive defense ..coverts default..rarely intellectualization. l