Borderline Personality Disorder vs. Depression - How to Manage Your Emotions

[@kayp4601]

Can you make a video about keeping employment and mental health?

[@Kelsey-cv4dx]

Kay P. Yes!!!

[@emmab1594]

Yes!!

[@LaGrossePaulik]

Excellent idea!

[@Trex7124]

Heck yes.. Whrn is it ok to speak up and how, put up and when to walk away..?

[@enigmajadethorne5501]

Omfg...for real!!!! How am I supposed to get & hold down decent work to advance myself in life when it's all I can do to just exist in the world with BPD, Low-Functioning Depression, CPTSD, Trichotillomania, Imposter Syndrome, Dissociation, Dyslexia, and Alcoholism? I practice my DBT exercises as best I can, I take my meds, but it's just not enough to be stable in a job.

[@thefletchlife7837]

Clinical Psych student here, this is brilliant content clearly explained. Thanks for taking the time to record this.

[@yopueelin7300]

With: “BPD are afraid of abandonment so she perceived him as being bored with her at home, that he’d rather go to the gym than cuddle” I resonated with thinking one thing and then at that moment when your partner says something it feels in response to your thoughts and you have a reaction based on if it actually was a response to your thoughts/unspoken desire. But the paranoia of abandonment that causes thoughts like: “he’s bored at home with me” I can see more clearly as “negative talk” so they don’t seem as detrimental as the “reacting to false/imagined reaponses.”

[@arantzaazuara8422]

i’ve been very confused about my relationship with my mom for a long time she doesn’t believe in mental illness but she has crazy mood swings and usually they happen in episodes that last months of weeks like she’ll have normal emotions and have control of her anger and be in a good mood for a few months and then for the next few months she will get angry at small and weird things and be annoyed by everyone and then suddenly want to go out and party and be all over expressing her love for us a lot and constantly reminding me how much she loves me here’s an example: i tend to adjust to my moms mood so one day i was bringing her lunch to work and i got her a salad from panera she got very mad at me because i had gotten her a small salad with no meat (not what she wanted) she got very angry and said that if i cared about her i would’ve known what salad to get her stating that she had been starving the whole day and working hard and that she couldn’t believe that this “shit” was what i brought her. Skip to a few months later i brought her lunch again but was running late and mostly packed snack like things she was disappointed but told me it was okay because she could buy some food at her job she did not get angry and on the other hand told me she was glad i brought her lunch. This happens quite a lot where she will get very angry over certain things and months later not give a single thought to them when they happen again and then a few months later get angry over the same things again i just need some input and this is long but please help i apologize for the length and the lack of punctuation

[@DrTraceyMarks]

It sounds like she’s has a lot of trouble holding back and not taking her frustration out on you. But the “if you cared about met” thing reminds me of what I talk about in this video on toxic relationships kzbin.info/www/bejne/jqnXhImDZsiSfrc

[@sophiadavenport3959]

Sounds like my relationship with my mother.

[@Soneelicious]

You said months or weeks so it sounds more like bipolar. As someone with BPD and from what I read about our emotions can be like 10 different moods in one day

[@jeffreyquinonez8964]

@@Soneelicious lol 😂 sounds like me

[@Wootwoohyay]

I've been the similar way to my daughter. It can cause damage to our relationship but now that I realize I have bpd I plan on taking dialectical therapy or reading about the exercises to learn how to manage intense mood shifts, which for me shift several times a day most days. I have always tried to be self reflective, though, and apologize and try to explain and take the responsibility for my emotions. Its still damaging to her though. Life has so many challenges and its tough to accept the way our loved ones act...when its toxic, and it is sooo jarring., so disruptive to a persons sense of self, when they suddenly get told they don't care about their loved one,that ot too, many time leads to them getting bpd too. The going against the usual harmony of the relationship, so suddenly, so unexpectedly, it what my mom did to me and her dad did to her. I never new what i did wrong,, i never new when she would be mad or happy.. I think each generation we've gotten better though ... dang... our family is not close because it caused so much damage. And my father's alcoholism and seeing him self destruction and he not really being there anymore for us, as a kid , really hurt too.

[@taylorrich-lane454]

Situation: I ask my best friend of 10 years at least once a week if she wants to hang out. We're both "busy" people, meaning we both have full time jobs, we both have different relationships to maintain, and we both are on opposite schedules. We have one day a week that lines up perfectly for me being able to see her. She's my person, my favorite person in the world. So like I said, I ask her once a week to hang out, and it seems like the past few months, every time I ask her to hang out, she's got a reason why she can't. I try my best to really understand that and respect that, but there's one catch. I see her out with her boyfriend all the time. I see her doing things with him and not me, and obviously I have to respect the fact that she's got a relationship that she loves being in, she's happy and I'm happy for her. All I've asked is for a few hours of her time a week, whereas he'll sometime get days or weeks of her time. This last week was really the breaking point for me when I started to piece together that maybe she doesn't want to be my friend anymore. I tell myself that she's replaced me, she's found someone that's gonna keep up with her on different levels and that I'm just no longer needed. If she's not my friend I'll be completely lost. I messaged her tonight, and instead of telling her all of the things I'm thinking and writing her, I told her, "I really miss hanging out with you." I'm just hoping she replies... I've done DBT therapy before, and it helped for a while, but the person I was going to was only seeing patients under 18 years of age, so I had to stop seeing them when I turned 18. Since then, I haven't found anyone that uses DBT as their method of therapy and I really need it. I appreciate these videos, even if they're short. Thank you.

[@Leahmoonbeamflower]

Hi there 😊 how are things with you and your friend today?

[@keekeejenkins6162]

​@@LeahmoonbeamflowerI was wondering the same. I wish people would just stop ghosting and get whatever it is off their chest. Doesn't sound like her friend wanted to keep in touch, but it's disrespectful not to address the issue.

[@Leahmoonbeamflower]

@@keekeejenkins6162 Word. ( I agree).

[@juliefall2892]

​@@keekeejenkins6162 her friend probably so caught up with her new partner. Maybe it's a codependent or even toxic relationship her friends in.

[@JackRabbit9181996]

I just wanted to say thank you. This is the first psychology channel I've been recommended that doesn't demonzie us folks with borderline, and understands that we're people too. I've subscribed, and will certainly be following some of the advice laid out here. Thank you again doctor, I was afraid the whole of the internet hated us after seeing some of the downright venomous opinions held by other psychology channels, but now I realize things are rarely as bad as they seem.

[@Nicole-vh5nn]

I have bpd and depression and your example of a partner saying he's going to the gym made me laugh because I have responded many times that exact same way .. Very useful video , thank you

[@Tina-p2x9i]

Me Too!

[@DreamingInTechnicolor]

Great video. I have a friend with BPD who’s battling depression after dealing with the death of her spouse.. I’m trying to be supportive while dealing with my own situation but I’ve learned to tread lightly. These videos have been a great source of information; it helps me to understand another’s perspective/ perception and to tailor mine.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Awesome S.D. I'm glad they are helpful on multiple levels 🙂

[@barb7124]

Did he die by suicide? I have been looking into the rates of suicide for spouses of cluster b disordered people. Of course, any type of death is going to feel unbearable to deal with, but when there is a suicide often family can suffer enormous guilt.

[@WriteEraseRewrite]

You're a good friend.

[@misstonix]

​@@barb7124 this is such an awful comment to have come across. wish i'd never read it.

[@davidhansen8457]

Dr marks your magic!!! Don't remember self harming in a decade but had a weak moment today. After counting the 38 burns I'm still left with today from last incident I wasnt sure way outta trap today until you popped in my head and I decided no actions till 1 of your vids on bpd. You helped me calm down and brought my mind from darkness back to baseline. Thank you Dr. I really can't explain how helpful you and a few others have been.

[@Sarablueunicorn]

How to distinguish what your "gut" is telling you from the disorder? Most times in the past that my gut has told nssome people were trying to harm me in some manner I ended up being right.

[@cretitina]

Exactly! I have the same problem. I need to regulate my emotions better but I also need to trust my intuition. It’s very confusing.

[@danielalvarez9835]

Same thing happens to me, it very hard to draw the line.

[@dangdog8341]

Whenever this happens to me I’ll try to figure out what exactly it is that’s bothering me about the person and it helps me deal with the strong distrust of myself and others. It helps to make a list (whether you need to write it down or in your head) of qualities about the person or actions of them, it kind of helps me sort out if it’s just BPD talking or my true/gut feelings. It’s good to kind of step aside for a minute and collect your thoughts alone since people can get so draining and distracting from your true personal feelings/thoughts

[@lmy222]

Yes, same here. „Checking the Facts“ can be really hard when you’ve been manipulated in the past that you’re always „overreacting“

[@jeffreyquinonez8964]

I used to think its my gut but i usually end up being wrong and realize im being paranoid smh 🤦‍♂️

[@traymctrayful5379]

if I am honest, this makes me feel like a bad person. I feel I am the empirical of my suffering, I already know that. But if your realising your behaviour with others (changed it), but your still left with these crazy emotions. how do you learn to live with it? I feel these techniques are more for protecting the other people around us you know? I am aware of how wrong my behaviour is seomtimes, my reactions to situations and how my emotional dysregulation plays a huge part in majority of where I go in my moods. I am better at communicating with others for that and its make me alot aware of why I know Im not normal in a sense of regulating and my thoughts. But how do you learn to live with it? Sorry for my depthful question, but if I am honest this is something I am struggling with in myself at the moment. Trying to look for ways to accept it

[@nanszoo3092]

from my own experience dealing with how different I seem to be from other people, I have come to accept that lots of people are "different" and not all in the same way, which is actually a good thing since we all bring different strengths and weaknesses that if properly understood makes things better for the rest of society. Lots of people have said that they think I have depression, but never anyone who was a professional mental health practitioner. I was diagnosed with BPD once when I went for my SSD psychological assessment, but never received treatment for that specifically (yet) so take my viewpoint with a grain of salt or whatever. I look at these types of "techniques" (which I have sort of developed through other counseling and self-help over the last 45 or so years since I was first "flagged" in middle school) as ways to protect myself as well as other people. The narcissist in me is very self-protective. It is not in my best interest to fly off the handle, especially to my family and friends, and perhaps alienate an ally. Basically, I try to assume that people don't mean to be rude or hateful or selfish and I know I have a hard time communicating my needs (since it is imperative to me that my needs are always met, mostly) so I try to take a step back and give myself time to "adjust" - not always successfully. Sometimes I just have to walk away. As I said, I haven't really addressed this too much with professionals who understand this more than I do. Your comment touched my heart though and I wanted to affirm that you are not necessarily a bad person, you may just be someone who has to try harder to navigate interpersonal relationships than other people do and that is ok. You might have to share your struggle with a few people you really trust (if you feel you have someone) to give you feedback when you do better or worse. hopefully, you will see this, and maybe it will help, I was ridiculously angry and hard to get along with when I was in my teens and 20's, but have learned a lot in the last few decades that help me to deal less forcefully with most of the people in my world. Not perfectly, but way more effectively. I find that time and space are very effective. Anyway, Idk if you still feel this way or if my comment helps, but I put it out there just in case it does.

[@siljehelberg94]

Not sure if you are going to read this since it's been a long time since you posted, but I thought I'd answer anyway (maybe someone else will find it helpful too, who knows). I have BPD, and struggled a lot with this in previous relationships. But with my current boyfriend, I chose to be open with him from the start and taught him about the diagnosis, making sure to explain to him how it works. We have continued with this tactic throughout the relationship, and it really has helped a lot. I'm talking open to the point where whenever I feel rejected, I say it. Not in a way that would make him feel accused of anything, but (if we are using the example from the video) more along the lines of "hey, BPD acting up. I just got scared that you need to get out of the house because you are bored of me from staying in with me the whole weekend. Is that the case?" That would let him reassure me that my assumption was false, and we avoid both me spiraling and also any fighting because of misunderstandings between us. Of course, recognising these things and putting them into words takes some practice, but it's really worth it. We've been together for 6 years now, and I really think that our super-open-communication is what's making that possible. I also try to do this with my closest friends. Hope this helps

[@wavy6470]

@@siljehelberg94 This has helped me as well! There are many difficult moments, but it's working. Self awareness, understandong and taking responsibility is the key (from both sides!)

[@2112res]

@@siljehelberg94 That is curious. My girlfriend(ex?) has signs of BPD (and I have my "issues") and she is the one that gets bored with me.

[@Roxanna.wez5671]

As always, informative video. Looking for to more videos on managing emotions and DBT 👍

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You're welcome! I have one on distress tolerance (another DBT skill) next month. Stay tuned.

[@maryammohamed7743]

I'm grateful I found your channel, your videos are helping me more than my therapist ever did in her 30 min session. thank you so much, please keep doing that, it's a great help. It's straight to the point and based on science not hypothetically motivating.

[@superteddy7583]

You’re honestly a god sent! My biggest fear was facing this alone or people thinking I was weird. As the days go by I’m excited to finally begin treatment! All my life I was misdiagnosed until my mental health councilor cracked it open. Prior to getting properly diagnosed at a young age I was put in anger management courses, told it was stress/anxiety, and given incorrect medication. My life felt like I was trapped, but now I feel as if the wheels are once rolling again! Thank you so much for this information!

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re welcome super Teddy 😊

[@clarencewhorely274]

@DR. Tracey Marks... I simply wanted to thank you for investing your personal time in sharing this knowledge with us. I think a lot of us want to self diagnose ourselves. I personally have been able to identify specific traits of various diagnoses. The fact is for every trait I identify with, theres a bunch of others that simply do not fit. That really makes this self diagnosis tricky. At the end of the day you've helped with clarification on many of these things. Thank you for your dedication to help others work towards building a healthier self. Sincere Gratitude... Be Well.👍

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re so welcome Clarence. I enjoy providing the education. I’m glad you can appreciate that process of diagnosis is not that simple. It’s more than looking at a list and identifying five of nine things on the list. but being able to understand your behavior and understand and illness once you have been given a diagnosis is invaluable.

[@isafava8896]

I can't even put in words how much this helps. I'm going to try to practice some of these things. Living with borderline sucks, but when you have some tools, it makes it easier. Thank you very much.

[@patrickhanson712]

Thank you Tracey for being so concise, and very absorbable examples... I recently watched your video on rapid/ultarian bipolar. I'm diagnosed borderline, but am gathering the difference between mood (wide ranging effects, general outlook) vs emotion (intense, changeable feelings)... I definately experience the latter but might mention to my therapist the former, my whole outlook can change every day or days. Thanks again! Oh, I truly apologize, Dr. Marks, realized I called you by simply your first name. The clinical experts in these fields have done an amazing amount of work, and dedicated their lives to helping segments of the public that a lot of people don't understand or care about. My therapists are not doctors, but they have changed my life.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Awesome Patrick. I’m glad you’re getting some clarity on things. Also I’m glad you have a therapist to help you work through your emotionality and it’s impact on your relationships. Best wishes 😊

[@voxcrow]

Thank you for the advice. I just got diagnosed with bpd when for the past 20 years they kept telling me it was depression. They switched meds and I'm waiting for that to get into my system now. But I have noticed how fast I get anger now and forget the details like you said. I will have to start writing it down. Thank you so much for all the help you have given on this channel. Its helped myself and I hope a ton of other people as well.

[@rhelmseeker]

I appreciate your informative videos. It is said, the hardest part of therapy is finding someone you can relate with. I can understand your information and how you relay it. Thank you.

[@KpopManiac4Life]

The dbt guide was so helpful doc.....please make more!esp for people who don't have access to therapy,im gonna get started on those books because at least there's SOMETHING god bless u

[@letitiad8440]

Thank you for your informative videos. When I was 17, my psychiatrist said that he wanted to diagnose me with BPD, however he couldn't until I was 18. Back then, I definitely had 8/9 characteristics (including regular self-harming and a suicide attempt). Instead I was diagnosed with depression. At 18 however, I was discharged from CAHMS and then officially didn't have any mental health issues anymore, which wasn't quite accurate and it took me a long time to improve. Thankfully, I am much better now; I no longer self-harm and I have no suicidal ideation. I do, however, still have an intense fear of abandonment, no self-identity (I've been super religious, an atheist, agnostic, my hobbies are generally whatever my partner is interested in at the time and my career aspirations are also partner-based.), and I have mood swings. The tiniest thing can make my mood change, whether it's happy, sad, angry, anxious. The mood swings are also very short-lived, as it's easy to change the mood into another one. I would say, most of the time my mood is okay, but it is very easy to change it and my reactions are often out of proportion. I used to do drugs but I don't anymore. The only thing I do is drink alcohol when depressed, anxious or just generally feeling negative. I don't have anger-issues on a regular basis, but sometimes when I get tipped over the edge, I do flip out, say things I really regret afterwards or drink a lot of alcohol, but this isn't a regular occurance. I guess when it means I hurt someone else though, even infrequent is too often :(. I wouldn't say that I am regularly impulsive, but I am every now and then. I recently spent 300€ on a used-piano, which was a bad decision, as I could've got a new one for 400€ and I'm over the phase of playing piano now anyway, so it was kind of a waste. An exception is maybe food; I compulsively and regularly buy food when I am at the train station, even when I'm not hungry and I know it's a waste of money. Other than that though, I'm not impusive often. I know I (thankfully) don't fit the criteria of BPD anymore, but I know that I still have issues I need to work on. What would you recommend?

[@donnao476]

It does sound like you probably do still meet the criteria, you need to have 5 of the 9 symptoms.

[@lauragadille3384]

It's so hard to keep my emotions in tact when I'm going through a spell of my depression and anxiety.

[@jaredmello]

Laura Gadille there are supplements that absolutely help. I talk about them on my channel

[@jaredmello]

Laura Gadille Dr. Tracey talks about some too

[@avet4veterans]

Your way of communicating this information is legendary status. Brilliant 👏🏾 ❤️🙏🏾.

[@mindywallace5891]

Hi Dr. Marks. I am using your videos to teach my pain psych students at TCU. They report your explanations are clear and very helpful!

[@saviongilbert5262]

Thank you Dr. Tracey Marks for such informative information and placing it here on KZbin.

[@TheRand20]

I'm on a school break but I keep coming back to watch more videos. you're definitely one of the best psychiatrists out there!! I wish you were my teacher, I would never miss a class.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Hi Rand! i’m glad you’re enjoying the videos. thanks for returning to watch more. that’s a big compliment. 😊

[@mairzydoats4879]

I feel like I see alot of people using "BPD" like it's short for Bi-Polar Disorder instead of Borderline Personality Disorder.

[@megss9135]

You are great! Thank you SO much for your time spent making videos for people like me, someone who is desperate to find answers. You have given me new hope in my struggle with mental health. Thank you!

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Oh awesome. That warms my heart to hear that. 😊

[@domisthebomb09]

Bless you! BPD has been kicking my ass lately I love these tips.

[@jaredmello]

Great video! I especially like the question does the intensity of your emotion match the situation. I will be implementing this, thank you

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Thanks a lot Mello Mentoring. 😊

[@Roaddog07]

I’ve been holding my symptoms since I’ve been a child and I’m almost 32 now

[@EricBZink]

Great video and topic! This is one of my favorites, keep doing you and nothing but support!

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Thanks so much Dr1ven! 🙂

[@EricBZink]

Dr. Tracey Marks absolutely needed this video since it’s what I am working on personally.

[@FirstNameLastNameOnly]

Hey, I'm one of your subscribers @Dr1ven! Cool to see you on here. I think Dr. Marks is tops!

[@EricBZink]

First Name Last Name me too I’m a huge fan been following her for awhile. I really enjoy a lot of her content.

[@michellenunyas7427]

This is so helpful. Sometimes it really feels hopeless but this video gives me so much hope.

[@fantasticmixterfox]

Thank you for your work! I've recently been diagnosed with BPD, though I don't really fit the BPD stereotype, so I was wondering if you could do a video on subtypes of BPD, such as quiet BPD. One other related topic I'd be really interested in is BPD vs CPTSD.

[@disaj7460]

Hiya Doc! Great vid! I'm especially taken with the concept/treatment of focussing on the positive aspects of one's life (or life in general)...a truly sound treatment imo, as it's right there in the Bible! *Philippians 4:8*

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Yes it is right there. Thanks for the reminder. 😊

[@mikamika1209]

I recently started watching your videos and I love how you break down your explanations! Could you do a video covering suicidal ideation?

[@DrTraceyMarks]

That’s a tricky topic to cover. I’ll see if I can come up with something.

[@mikamika1209]

@@DrTraceyMarks Oh my gosh! Thank you so much for even considering this topic!! I wrote this while going down a dive on the mental health side of KZbin as my mind was dipping into a place. I've been dealing with major depression and suicidal ideation for a long time, and I liked how you tackled other topics! I wanted to show my family your videos so they could better understand what's happening with my own mental health, I wish you were my doctor!

[@chad7554]

This doctor be talking the truth.... That's how I be thinking .... I fear abandonment....

[@LeMarais88]

Thank you so much for these videos. I strongly believe that my mother might be borderline and wanted to learn more about it.

[@dmtdreamz7706]

My first impression was a very strong one,’ repeated  the prince. ‘When they took me away from Russia, I  remember I passed through many German towns and  looked out of the windows, but did not trouble so much  as to ask questions about them. This was after a long series  of fits. I always used to fall into a sort of torpid condition  after such a series, and lost my memory almost entirely;  and though I was not altogether without reason at such  times, yet I had no logical power of thought. This would  continue for three or four days, and then I would recover  myself again. I remember my melancholy was intolerable;  I felt inclined to cry; I sat and wondered and wondered  uncomfortably; the consciousness that everything was  strange weighed terribly upon me; I could understand that  it was all foreign and strange. I recollect I awoke from this  state for the first time at Basle, one evening; the bray of an emotion aroused me, an emotion in the town market. I saw  the emotion and was extremely pleased with it, and from  that moment my head seemed to clear.’  ‘An emotion? How strange! Yet it is not strange. Anyone of us might fall in love with an emotion! It happened in mythological times,’ said Madame Epanchin, looking  wrathfully at her daughters, who had begun to laugh. ‘Go  on, prince.’  ‘Since that evening I have been specially fond of emotions. I began to ask questions about them, for I had  never seen one before; and I at once came to the  conclusion that this must be one of the most useful of  animals-strong, willing, patient, cheap; and, thanks to this emotion, I began to like the whole country I was travelling through; and my melancholy passed away.’

[@Cho0816]

Damn. This one was so helpful. Thank you.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re welcome

[@terryhigbee7516]

Thank you so much for this video. So much information and helpful recommendations. I'm glad I found you!

[@aneelariaz4348]

Hi doctor. Thank u so much for the video. It help me today. Sometimes a very little thing like if uber driver gave me 4 start our of 5 makes me sad. To other people its something stupid but for me it's something not in my control. I am thankful for the techniques u mentioned. I'll definitely practice them. May God make things easy for you as well.

[@daniellecalder5193]

THESE VIDEOS ARE FANTASTIC! Thank you so so much. I am amazed. You have a gift.

[@Rules5005]

Totally 💯. Accumulation of positive experiences is key in managing emotions

I love you dr. Marks!! These ideas you gave, are useful to all of us. Even though we might know how to do these things already, having someone reinforcing the idea is fantastic. Thank you for another great video!

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You're so welcome Jacqueline!! I really appreciate it ❤️😊

[@alepta8476]

Thank you Dr. Marks. Your instructional vids are thorough and accessible to us "lay" people. I just "broke through" but not before destroying my marriage and career. WHY do we burn our lives down???! Please touch on that topic some day

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Thank you for the suggestion. I added it to my list.

[@alepta8476]

@@DrTraceyMarks omg! You are an angel:)

[@toasted_.coconut]

Dr. Marks I remember starting to watch your videos a year. Congratulations on your channels success and growth.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Thanks so much Amanda. And it's been a lot of fun and I am still having fun with it. Thanks for sticking around.

[@RoliePole.e]

Thank you for this, I hope you know how much you’ve helped a lot of people

[@michaeldennis7523]

These videos are so helpful. You are such an effective speaker!

[@hanananah]

I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 a decade ago. Now that I've watched some of your videos and understand what BPD is I'm shocked and a little angry a professional didn't figure it out before me. I was put on so many different drugs as a teen and young adult and none of them were to treat the issue I actually have. Just the nature of my mood swings alone should have been a clue that it wasn't bipolar. I stopped getting professional treatment years ago because they were making things worse. Sometimes I think about trying again but I'm just so disillusioned with the whole process and afraid of the negative side effects of the drugs. I cared when I gained 40 pounds on seroquel but my doctor didn't. One tried to make me stop taking birth control so I could go on the drug she wanted. I hated lithium. Nobody cared how I felt as long as I was less outwardly reactive. I'm still not over it and I'm so tired. I appreciate you for giving me some knowledge and tools to start dealing with this on my own.

[@frozenorange]

Great video! There’s so much misinformation out there about bpd, so I appreciate the good info!

[@thewaterycrab5216]

You are just wonderful. Great explanations and I feel I can help my borderline boyfriend better now 🙏

[@VanessaGraceStory-Did]

Dr. Mark. I love how clear you speak. I've watched many of your videos. Would you be willing to make a video about Schizotypal Personality Disorder?

[@HG-to6vb]

That's very interesting. I'm not really sure what i suffer from, but iv'e been diagnosed lots of times with BPD and also with depressive disorder. My mood can change drastically because of some minor event. Though most of the time i already feel on the edge, stressed out, irritated, very tired. Then what happens is that i'm ok, functioning on a high level and then something makes me upset. I act badly and i realize it quite fast, and then i hate myself. I get to a really bad state of mind, i feel restless through out my body and my head. I get this bad memories running through my head which makes it worse. I feel like hurting my self (which i did many times in the past). The day afterwards i wake up with no energy in my body. I barely get out of bed, not doing anything, barely eat and drink, not taking showers, etc. And i still can get this feeling of anxiety snd restlesness. This state can last between a few hours to a week. Mostly is takes a day or two until i get my energy back, and act normal again. I'm not really sure what is this thing. I also suffer from traumatic events. I heard about a connection between BPD and Complex PTSD. I'm interested to know what your thoughts are. Thank you so much for your videos. Sorry for my English :)

[@jaredmello]

H G there are supplements that can absolutely help, though it’s not a cure for sure.

[@trinibui]

H G I hope you feel well and your English is fine 😊

[@sincerethunderstorm9317]

Thank you, Dr. Marks for this video.

[@kierstenholcomb2772]

I recently stumbled upon your channel and i would like yo say THANK YOU. The videos you put out help me to better understand my diagnosis and how to deal/ live with them. I love the way you explain things in detail. Thank you for helping me.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re welcome Kiersten. I am glad you stumbled across me 😊

[@ashishchoudhary9061]

I am from India and 4 yr mbbs student this video really help me thank u mamm ❤

[@Meme-go9ts]

Thank you so much for your work, Dr. Marks!!

[@Moesmentalcorner]

This video was great mainly because I have both bpd and bipolar depression so I’m constantly fighting myself then when I feel good I’m back down in a depression mood so I definitely know how hard it is , that’s y I’m trying to figure out the best way to handle it whether it’s talking or just listening to other people I’m not going to give up just figuring out how to deal with it .

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Well keep watching Mo and keep pushing forward. I’ve got some other stuff coming that may help you as well.

[@katymcfine4265]

I am grateful that i didn't suffer from any mental illness despite of the mind blowing and roller coaster ride happened to me for this past years. my emotions is stable and calm. i call it miracle drugs because i survived all the mind blowing events that normally people find stressful and suicidal. i didn't suffer from depression and any mental illness. i do believe it can be hard for people suffering from any type of mental illness. being ill is an excused for freedom of expression in a democratic country. you can expect that everything you say will not take against you. i have a great doctor who monitor my condition although i can't see anything alarming but i trust the process maybe this is the best for me. i do believe suffering from any type of mental illness can be hard for someone and medicines will help them manage the symptoms so they can live a more fulfilling and productive lives. i don't need any therapy or counselling for im not suffering from any form of mental illness. Thank God, i survived and now closer to recovery! I only want to share my experiences. Thank You Dr. Tracey Marks for making educational, informative and useful videos on mental illness. You are helping many people being mindful of symptoms and discussing important informations and seeking professional help early diagnosis can save lives of millions of people suffering from different types of mental illness.🤯🤕🤒😭

[@DrTraceyMarks]

I’m happy that you’re feeling well and not in need of any treatment. Thanks for watching and being interested in mental health conditions.

[@dj586858]

More great information, Dr. Marks! Thank you!

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Thank you dj586858 🙂 Glad to see you're still around!

[@dj586858]

Still here.😁

[@dwayne8697]

This explains things I really needed to know, thanks, thanks, thanks 👍

[@TheSlayerette]

People are going to be confused but a mix-match of you (your videos) and Dr Jordan Peterson ('s videos) is making me so much good ♥ Thank you Dr Marks

[@TheSlayerette]

You're more soft, he's rougher, I like to have both.... I guess it's the feeling of having parents lol ( i never had a family )

[@chryssanthistell]

Thank you very much for these well explained videos!

[@generalrepair8731]

Dr Marks, Agreed DBT and CBT seems to be so common these days but DBT seems to be hard to find do you think that these college students would study something about DBT but they don’t all they get is the degree for cognitive behavioral therapy General counseling social work etc. I think DBT should be available the more people they it be a big help. As usual excellent video very nicely stated I always enjoy watching your videos Dr. Marks ! General repair

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Thanks general repair. I always enjoy hearing from you. DBT is a separate training outside of the main stream therapy training. I was exposed to a brief course of it in my residency but if I really wanted to do it in practice, I would need to go through the certification training. that’s the part that not everyone does. But it’s available if someone wants to do the extra.

[@randyporter7391]

Thank you for helping make this understandable.

[@meerespflanzen]

Excellent summary of DBT. Thank you

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You’re welcome 😊

[@Nebulous.Infinity]

I have a sneaking suspicion that I have BPD, though haven't been diagnosed, since I haven't been to a psychiatrist since I was diagnosed with bipolar and ADHD at 15-16. I've been sitting on the thought of starting to seek evaluation and treatment these last several months since my son was born, but my past experience with the mental health system has not been encouraging. I also find myself feeling physically unable to pick up the phone and make an appointment, purely out of stupid phone call anxiety and a severe looming fear of what my actual diagnosis would be. I WANT to do it, but I can't get my body to do the actions. I'm watching these videos to motivate myself to get it done.

[@lindasmith9273]

Thanks so much. This video help me to understand my recurring depressive disorder

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You're welcome Linda 🙂

[@ashantiabadbish4981]

Thank you I needed to hear this i misinterpreted people all the time .... I don't check the facts before I assume

[@TracyNursall]

I've been watching your videos. I learn something each time. So worthwhile and well done. Thank you. Please let me know where the emotion cards are.

[@ladynancy1284]

Hi! Stumbled across your channel and really love your work. I have a long history of being bipolar type one. I was diagnosed early twenties but that's because of parental denial and lack of medical insurance or care (I started symptoms at the age it appeared in my son ~9-10 yo). It has been observed that I have exhibited mixed episodes, rapid cycling, and full blown mania that has lasted a few weeks to up to a year. My problem is I REALLY want to quit smoking. I am usually able to put them down for up to a few months, long after all the nicotine has left my system. I have quit up to two years. The problem is my mania kicks in and the longer I go without cigarettes the worse it gets (I have even passed thru being symptomatic, thru crisis and have caught myself several times heading into suicide territory. Please please believe me when I tell you I have tried every conceivable way to quit (including chantix (shudder)). What can I do to keep my bipolar in check when I quit? I have begged my psychiatrist to give me something anything to help me quit. Welbutrin is m&Ms. I am in my forties diabetic thyroid and cholesterol problems. So naturally this limits what they want to give me. Any advice would be most helpful. After I relapse on smoking it can take up to 6 months to a year to get my mania back under control. I have smoked 30 years and have a cyst/benign mass in my lungs. Any advice you can give would be most helpful. Sorry for the length and this being off topic.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Hi lady Nancy. as much as I would like to make a suggestion, it’s hard to do that without knowing your medication history and doing more of an evaluation. there are certain antipsychotic medications that are better for mixed mania like Vraylar. you may require treatment with two mood stabilizers. but I definitely think the target to address is better control of your mania rather than trying to find something to help you stop smoking.

[@ladynancy1284]

@@DrTraceyMarks lamotrogine 400 mg/day total. Fluoxitine anti depressant 100mg/day and buspirone for anxiety 30-45mg/day (30 if ok or extra 15 as needed). I only see my psych once every three mos as the VA I go to doesn't have a lot to go around.

[@ladynancy1284]

@@DrTraceyMarks My old Dr had me on a different mix but I lost my insurance and had to go to the VA, where the Dr before this one pitched a fit because weight, sugar and thyroid fwiw. Thanks anyway for the reply tho! ❣️💜💙

[@somewhereinthemiddle353]

Hi, excellent video!! Thanks for posting. I would like to ask you, if possible of you could explain the differences between BPD and Schizophrenia, and if a person could have both at the same time. Thank you.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

hi somewhere in the middle. Schizophrenia is a completely different disorder that is not related to BPD. BPD is a personality disorder that you can have along with schizophrenia. Why don’t you watch this video I did on schizophrenia and see if that helps you understand it better and how it is different from BPD. kzbin.info/www/bejne/h3q8iGyAn79ghdU

[@dreamceline2093]

Another great, informative video. Thank you!

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You're welcome.

[@EvaThorn]

I was recently diagnosed with bpd. However my hospital stay was hit with a lot of trauma from the hospital. I’m now to scared to ask my therapists and doctors to change my medication. I have a lot of fear that they will admit me again and I will be restrained by them again. When I arrived at the hospital I was fairly drunk. After opening up to therapists there and then going on medication my mood swings stopped. I’m dealing with a lot of unforgiving things which I don’t trust to talk to my husband or doctors about. How do I regain trust of medical doctors once it’s broken? I’m having serious side effects from the medication and too afraid to call and check with a doctor. Some of the side effects (Seroquel) include the following: no period, headaches (back top of head,) clenching of teeth, drowsiness (affects my work,) not wanting to be touched, not being able to wake up, zoning in and out constantly and to tired to do anything. They currently have it on 400mg but they originally had me on 800mg. I feel even for 400 the meds are too strong. The meds half work but by a specific time of the day I feel things starting to ware off. I’m conflicted because I want to be able to talk to the doctor but I’m scared they will lock me up and throw away the keys

[@warholcow]

Great video! So helpful. Thanks.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

You're welcome. 🙂

[@nabakhan9793]

Can you make a video about borderline vs atypical depression!?

[@Spexsavvy]

Thank you for making these videos. I struggle with trusting my own judgment of people and or decisions. This could be because of long childhood trauma but I’m not sure. I double check my self all the time. Is there a video that you have that can help me with this. Sometimes I’m so unsure if my decisions are right or wrong. Often I even find myself rethinking decisions I made years ago. Any understanding would be helpful.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Hi Teresa. I don’t have a video addressing this kind of insecurity/lack of confidence. The reasons for that is very individual. I have added this to my list and I’ll see what I can come up with.

[@davidthomspson9771]

This was GREAT thank you!

[@goliard84]

A child shows emotional dysregulation early in childhood, followed by depression starting at early teens followed by anxiety related symptoms due to traumatizing experiences and long term elevated stress levels. Emotional dysregulation and splitting appear consistently but to different degree in every family member for at least 3 generations from one of the parent’s side (6 people total). How can you tell if it’s 1)ADHD, 2)autism spectrum or 3)BPD when subsequent cPTSD and depression symptoms occur on top of it.

[@linkalipski]

it was an interesting question indeed. I'm curious as to what you describe as dramatic (clinically) and how that differs from teenage dramatic for example or people who stay immature in their adult relationships because of their insecurities. The example you gave could have been teenagers and everyone makes assumptions too. I think showing it as you did with the man like a role play is a great idea. I would suggest however to make it clearer of what would be a typical (albeit insecure) behaviour versus an example of behaviour from someone suffering from BPD. On the ward I worked on, dramatic was clear: self-harm, physical threats, suicide attempts, and suddenly shouts. So in your example, some would have shut down, acted as if fine, left to their room and attempt self-harm straight away. Another one would have regressed to a child at first, guilt tripping you and if didn't work would have been angry in a second (to escalate either to tears, self-harm, the threat of violence, verbal abuse). Yet another one would have straight away started shouting and insulting you. That's 'dramatic' indeed. Whereas those with insecurities, I believe, could still misinterpret as the person not wanting to be there and sometimes be too unaware that it taps into deeper pain to receive the message as intended. However, they would likely revert to complaining to friends to get someone to side with them, passive aggression when the partner returns, full compliance or even privately cry for a short while. So I think it's tricky. I'm also very curious about your take on the differences between C-PTSD and BPD. Where is your position on the debate that BPD is a trauma disorder or an attachment disorder? Always a pleasure to listen to your input on mental health and disorders ;)

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Hi Linka. You make some great points. Great suggestion on how to show the differences in the degree of a reaction. That would be a different kind of video. I started this video with the premise that person with BPD already knows they have it. and therefore here are some things you can do versus how will it look different if a person has BPD versus normal emotional reactivity. I do think many people with BPD have trauma in their past but I wouldn’t say it’s exclusively the result of trauma. That makes it different from CPTSD which is based on trauma and/or neglect.

[@linkalipski]

@@DrTraceyMarks Ah yes I see what you mean about the example being based on people knowing they have BPD. I'm glad we agree on the relation between trauma and BPD 🙌

[@kimberleathademuchest9185]

I don't understand. How can a person "judge their situation" when the symptoms are present? To review a scenario is difficult.

[@peopleissues9797]

@coda i just found out i have BPD, i lost so many people and destroyed so many relationships with people can u give me advice?

[@JoyWaitash]

I’m trying to imagine how it would play out in my situations because I’m at 💯 at that point!!

[@carwai]

Thank you. My sister is so firey, the family abandons her regularly. Anything we say is wrong so we avoid the source/sister.

[@mrranger145]

Thank You!!💙

[@librianja222]

thank you so much for these videos!

[@kuza.the.artist]

Hello Dr. Marks, Could you address the Barnum effect in a future video? It may be a useful tool for individuals to understand themselves better. This is to avoid someone over pathologizing themselves. As it can be quite a scary process! In addition, I have some issues with the use of labels such as depression, BPD, etc. Are these labels useful? They can be used negatively, rather than as actual clinical diagnoses. They seem to be more useful to psychiatrists rather than the other way round! What should we do about this? Overall, i love your videos and they helped me a lot. many thanks!

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Hi Kuzay-i. I'm not familiar enough with Barnum effect to do a video about it. I know its a psychological concept but I don't use the term. As for labels - in medicine we give illnesses names. We need names for proper treatment. If you don't believe depression is an illness, then the term will seem like a useless label. We don't get as bothered by the "label" of hypertension. Hypertension is a similar illness because your blood pressure can get temporarily elevated even when you don't have the illness. I don't think we should be afraid of calling a mental illness an illness. But all that said - some people throw terms around too much in a flippant or hurtful way. "Bipolar" is one of those terms people will sling around. Thanks for watching, I'm glad my videos and "labels" are still helpful. 🙂

[@kuza.the.artist]

@@DrTraceyMarksMarks thanks for clearing that up for me!

[@mariahbrown2659]

Super helpful! Thank you!

[@Liio.Chantel]

Can you please make a video about ADHD, sugar and coffee?? Is it a connection for those 3? Why do some feel so addicted to sugar and coffee?

[@SodaSpeakNow]

Céline Khilán and maybe how many people with ADHD who are like me and don’t get hyper/energy from caffeine 😭 it just makes me more calm (emotionally) and be able to focus for a bit but it makes my fingers jittery.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Both of these issues are "a thing" that people experience. I’ll have to look into the science behind it. thanks for the suggestions.

[@jeffreyquinonez8964]

Do some chakra cleanses. Helps in a jiffy when you’re in a bind 😎 👍

[@leticiahuffman6610]

Right on thank you !!

[@chiaragervasoni6368]

Hello dr Marks, thank you for your job and your efforts. I have a question about eating disorders: I've been suffering from bulimia in the past 4 years, I'm on Fluoxetine and it's working wonders but sometimes I still get back on the binging-purging routine. Any advice on how to deal with this instability? I'd like to get stronger and avoid turning to food anytime I feel down. Thank you so much, Chiara

[@DrTraceyMarks]

I'm glad the fluoxetine is helping you. Take a look at a video I did on binge eating disorder. kzbin.info/www/bejne/rJ-TYZp7d5WHatE

[@chad7554]

I virtually feel my thinking patterns and processes changes when I getting depress, and because I don't understand, and notice the alterations.... I just thought I'm getting stupid and this permanent on the fact I'm just becoming more inadequate cause I'm struggling to think at the capacity I usually do, then I realize I will never become successful in life. I'm learning allot.

[@Sharlene-w1h]

Thank you let's see a lot of sign in a lot of time in my family room thank you

[@Hollyhood180]

This makes me sad for my loved ones dealing with my stuff

[@BoschizBasus]

can a person have avoidant and paranoid and borderline personality disorder all together ?? im a disabled person until dead with schizo-affective , acute depresion acute anxity adjustment disorder , parkinsons , im only 30 ive been to psychiatric clincs months at a time , fully broken but still aware enough and smart to be in an open clinic ( more easy and let you go on walks and go buy an ice cream ) ive watched the videos about anxity depression and 3 personality disorder video avoident paranoid and bordeline , everything you say is what i have , im tired, and my friend saved me 2 times

[@Luvmyloves]

Do you have any videos on obsessive compulsive disorder?

[@u-x3982]

I have bpd and go through depressed mood often, like as low as diagnosis od depression but not long enough depression and BPD you can never say which is harder. somebody who had depression and BPD is saying

[@michaelcupps9064]

My question is how do I know if my gut instinct is correct or am I just splitting? Meaning I have been diagnosed with BPD, but I can’t differentiate if I’m splitting or if my gut is right.

[@durnyvrutaal5892]

Is it possible to have ADHD with depression and BPD?

[@lessisbest3286]

and if you have PTSD and ADHD and depression could you also have BPD. OR would that alone look like BPD? I am so confused by all of this. I can turn on a dime but I still cry many years later just talking about some of the abuse I have encountered.

[@DrTraceyMarks]

Yes you can have all three.

[@nmvwilliams]

Yes, I have all 3. It’s extremely frustrating.

[@cubajohnson6645]

Yes... I have both

[@okaywhynot4728]

ADHD in adults can present as BPD, anxiety, and depression.

[@gramgraml9551]

Thank you for this information. I have depression for sure

[@DrTraceyMarks]

you’re welcome.😊